Hidden in Plain Sight - ADHD, ASD, and OCD - The Often Missed Diagnoses Driving Overthinking, People Pleasing, Perfectionism, Self-Doubt, and Burnout
You’re overwhelmed and tired, mentally, emotionally, maybe even physically. You overthink everything, feel like you're never doing enough, and constantly worry about what others think of you. You're stuck in cycles of procrastination, perfectionism, or people-pleasing. Social situations can feel draining, and even rest doesn’t feel restful. You’re the one who holds it together. You care deeply and try so hard to be good and helpful, while quietly unraveling inside. You get things done, but you never feel done. You never feel rested. You never feel right. You find yourself endlessly doom-scrolling, withdrawing from others into books or your phone, and struggling to feel motivated. If this sounds familiar and nothing seems to be helping, you’re not alone. You’ve just been hidden in plain sight. Hidden in Plain Sight is a podcast for people-pleasing, perfectionistic, over-giving women who can't seem to find relief. Hosted by psychologist Dr. Lauren Schaefer, this show explores the hidden diagnoses behind lifelong anxiety, depression, self-doubt, shame, and burnout among women whose symptoms have been written off as "just anxiety and/or depression." This is a podcast for deep-feeling, overthinking women who’ve been called too sensitive, too anxious, too intense, or too much, when really, they’ve just been misunderstood. We’ll talk about the perfectionism you've developed to hide your ADHD; the obsessive-compulsive personality traits, driven by anxiety, to overcompensate for neurodivergent executive dysfunction; your ability to camouflage in relationships and not knowing who you are outside of your relationships due to years of people-pleasing and masking. We'll explore how emotional intelligence, people pleasing, and hypervigilant masking can hide neurodivergent wiring, leading to late diagnosis and poor self-image. Here you’ll find language for your exhaustion, compassion for your coping, and a mirror that finally reflects the truth: You were never too much. You were just unseen. This is a place to unmask, unravel, and understand the real reasons it’s always felt harder than it looked.
Episodes
TL/DR Episode Summary: This episode explores the tender line between empathy and emotional fusion, and why so many sensitive, overgiving women lose themselves while trying to care for others. If you’ve ever felt responsible for someone else’s feelings, this one will feel like coming home to yourself.
Welcome Back!
In this second part of the series, we step into one of the most tender, defining truths of the overgiving pattern: the ...
Dr. Lauren Schaefer unpacks the psychology of overgiving and explores the quiet slide from compassion into self-erasure. We explore when empathy becomes vigilance, when connection becomes labor, and when our nervous system mistakes intensity for intimacy. Through attachment, trauma bonding, and neurodivergent wiring, we’ll look at why these patterns form and the addictive push-pull that keeps so many deep feelers stuck in relations...
Ever feel like you know you’re overreacting but can’t stop? Dr. Lauren Schaefer breaks down why frustration hits harder for sensitive, high-alert nervous systems, and how small shifts in thought, breath, and rhythm can rebuild your frustration tolerance from the inside out.
What if your frustration isn’t a flaw but a signal? In this episode, Dr. Lauren Schaefer unpacks the science and psychology behind an overactive alert system: t...
This brief episode explores the purpose of this podcast and why it was created.
So many women look fine on the outside, capable, kind, accomplished, while quietly suffering on the inside. Hidden in Plain Sight is for the ones who hold it all together, the ones who care too much, the the high-functioning, deeply feeling women who have been dismissed for their anxiety, while all along may have been dealing with something else (e.g., ...
In this episode, we dig into the quiet habits that masquerade as “self-care” but actually keep us trapped in anxiety, what therapists call safety behaviors. A safety behavior is anything you do to try to feel less anxious, uncertain, or uncomfortable in the moment. From mental reassurance loops to over-planning every possible outcome, these small acts are our brain’s way of begging for certainty. The trouble is, they work against u...
If you’ve ever found yourself thinking and thinking and thinking, turning a situation over in your mind like a Rubik’s cube, trying to find the right feeling, the right explanation, the right evidence that you’re safe or good or okay—this episode is for you.
Today on the podcast, we’re exploring one of the more confusing overlaps in mental health: the difference between anxiety and OCD, especially when it’s fueled by attachment woun...
In this episode, Dr. Lauren Schaefer unpacks the often invisible or overlooked side of OCD, mental compulsions. While many people associate OCD with visible rituals or checking behaviors, for others the compulsions happen largely in the mind: replaying conversations, analyzing motives, or mentally reviewing to find certainty and relief.
Lauren explores how these silent loops can disguise themselves as problem-solving or “just being ...
Welcome back to the Hidden in Plain Sight Podcast.
TLDR Summary
This episode is an invitation to pause those harsh inner narratives and discover another way forward in feeling your emotions: self-compassion. Together, we’ll explore how to access your feelings safely, speak to yourself with gentleness, and remind the hurting parts of you that they are not alone, or unworthy.
Betrayal
If you’re listening today, I imagine you’ve been thr...
In this calming episode of Hidden in Plain Sight, we slow everything down. If you've been feeling overstimulated, anxious, burnt out, or like your body is buzzing but your brain can’t settle, this one’s for you.
Join Dr. Lauren Schaefer for a guided nervous system regulation practice designed especially for sensitive, neurodivergent, anxious, and perfectionistic minds. Through breathwork, grounding, mindfulness, and s...
In this guided mindfulness meditation, we draw inspiration from the buffalo—an animal known for its bold choice to run toward storms rather than away from them. This metaphor becomes a powerful lens for exploring how we relate to emotional discomfort, fear, and avoidance in our own lives.
You’ll be gently guided to ground your body, name the “storm” you may be avoiding, and visualize yourself stepping into it with the strength and w...
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