December 31, 2024 • 17 mins
Anger can often be a prominent emotion during the holidays, masking deeper feelings of sadness or disappointment. Jazmyn shares her personal journey of recognizing and naming her anger, emphasizing the importance of vulnerability, humility, and community support in achieving emotional healing.
• Exploring the joys and struggles of the holiday season
• Understanding anger as a secondary emotion
• Community validation and its impact on recognizing feelings
• The dangers of lingering in a space of anger
• The role of humility in seeking healing
• The transformative power of naming emotions
• Finding God through vulnerability and honesty
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jazmyn (00:01):
Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Holy Human Honest
Podcast.
I'm your host, Jazmyn B.
Nichols, and thank you so muchfor spending your time here with
me today.
You could be anywhere else inthe world, but I hope that
something that I shared todaycan bring value to your life.
Now listen, you guys, like I, Isaid, this is the holy human
(00:24):
honest podcast, so I am notgoing to be doing a lot of
editing, um, it's just going tobe kind of what comes out, what
flows out, and I hope thatsomething that I share will be
something that resonates withyou.
So, as you guys already know,we're coming into the holiday
season, the holidays are hereand I really do love the
(00:47):
holidays.
I get the opportunity to spendso much time with my family, I
really enjoy time with friends,I enjoy gift giving and I don't
know.
Just all of the celebration,the lights, everything just
makes me so happy.
However, I know that sometimesthe holidays can be really hard
(01:10):
as well.
Um, and I myself have been, youknow, you know, going through a
little bit with the holidays.
Um, and, if I can be honest, Ishared with my church community
a few days ago that I was intherapy and I was sharing with
my therapist about something andshe was like, Jazmyn, you're
angry and I'm like angry and Iwas talking about a situation
(01:38):
and I guess the way I wastalking about it, um, she was
able to pinpoint anger.
Now, me having a background inpsychology, I know that anger is
a secondary emotion.
So if she's telling me, Jazmyn,you're dealing with anger,
which when she pointed it out Icould see that's what it was, I
(02:01):
know that under that has to besadness.
So I went on a little journeythroughout that week just really
asking myself what's under theanger?
First of all, I didn't evenrealize it was anger.
And let me tell you what we gettripped up with, that okay, how
the enemy can really trip us upwhen it comes to anger and we
(02:24):
can not even pinpoint it.
It happens when somethinghappens to us or we're going
through something and our angeror our frustration feels
justified because there arereally good reasons to be angry.
You know the Bible says beangry but sin not, and it also
(02:45):
says be slow to anger.
Sometimes we can be super quickto anger and sometimes we can
be angry and we can sin.
But it's tricky when we gothrough something and you know
we give ourselves thatpermission to be angry, which is
fine again.
And then I think it gets eventrickier when you know we've
(03:10):
gone through something and ourcommunity really validates that
anger, which you know ourcommunity should validate how
we're feeling.
But I think it can become alittle bit of a slippery slope.
If I'm honest, and I thinkthat's sort of what I realized I
was going through I gave myselfso many excuses as to why it
(03:32):
was okay for me to sit in thisanger for as long as I did.
Because, again, it's okay to beangry.
To me, anger is an alarm.
It's an alarm that tells mesomething is wrong.
It's not supposed to be myconstant habitation.
It's not supposed to be myconstant go-to, my constant
(03:56):
hideaway.
Anger is not supposed to be mysecret place.
And I think sometimes, whenwe've gotten so much comfort
while we are angry and a lot oftimes situations in our lives
that have led us to be angry arethe situations in our lives
(04:16):
where we have received the mostcompassion.
Oh, you know, you went throughthat.
That's so hard and I think alot of times that compassion
feels like affection and thataffection feels like love and
those things are all really good.
But I think we can get really,really comfortable in a space
that isn't for us.
And I realized as I was on thisjourney I had been feeling not
(04:42):
as close to the Lord as I oncedid.
I just I didn't, I didn't andfor a long time I thought, well,
maybe if I just go back to thisplace or had a relationship
with this person again or didthis and did that, and I started
to get honest with myself.
It's not about going back to acertain place, it's not about
(05:05):
being with certain people.
It's about breaking down wallsin our hearts that keep us away
from God, and anger is one ofthose walls.
Hurt is one of those walls.
Bitterness is one of thosewalls.
(05:39):
One of our pastors had beenpreaching that morning when I
shared with our congregationthat I'd been dealing with anger
.
He had been preaching thatmorning on a hope deferred and
how it makes the heart sick.
We defer a lot of hopesometimes when we just lavish
and relish in anger andself-pity.
And again, it's hard when wehave been hurt.
(06:01):
It is hard to just dust it offsometimes and keep on moving.
It's especially hard when wefeel like the hurt was just out
of nowhere or it was uncalledfor.
Maybe you lost a loved onesuddenly and this loved one was
(06:24):
somebody that gave back,somebody that served, and maybe
it felt like they were just goneway too soon.
Maybe you were hurt by peoplethat you really, really tried to
love, and maybe you weren'tperfect, but you were really
trying and it just felt like, nomatter what you did, it was
never enough.
Maybe you have tried to be areally really good
(06:49):
daughter-in-law or really reallygood mother-in-law or any type
of in-law, but you just becomeoutlaws to one another.
Maybe you find yourself longingfor a companion, and maybe it's
been years and you've beenfaithful and you've been
(07:10):
diligent, you've remained holyunto the Lord, and the holidays
may come and go again and youfind yourself single.
Maybe you're married.
Maybe you're married right nowand you see the family photos
(07:30):
that everybody is posting, butthey're what seems like a
perfect marriage and perfectchildren.
We all know that nobody'sperfect, but it can feel like
everybody around you is doingwell, with their smiles and
sparkling eyes and families thatseem so well kept.
(07:52):
It can be hard.
Maybe you find yourself dealingwith some sort of sickness this
holiday season again afteryou've been faithful to God.
Lord?
Where are you, lord?
Where are you?
(08:16):
Recently, I have found that Godis on the other side of my
surrender.
I don't need to get back to acertain place or a certain
picture or certain state ofbeing.
I have found that the onlyplace I need to get back to is a
(08:37):
place of humility.
Humility has been my answer,not perfection.
Not me praying the anger away,not me praying these things away
, but me coming before God andsaying, lord, I'm hurting, this
hurts and it's caused me to beangry and it has caused me to
(09:01):
act out of character.
And just when I think that I'vegone to you and I've gone under
your surgeon's knife, lord, foryou to do surgery on me Seems
like just when you seal me up,life comes and gouges out the
(09:21):
stitches.
Humility is going back againand again and again.
Not holding on to anger, nottrying to look like we have it
all together, not holding it allin.
(09:42):
I experienced a breakthroughwhen I was able to name that I
was angry and when I was able toname that I was angry.
I was able to name that I wassad and that I was disappointed.
I was able to name that I wasactually angry about a lot of
things and didn't even realizeit.
And didn't even realize it, Ifelt angry about certain
(10:12):
relationships.
I felt angry about lost time,lost loved ones.
I felt angry that it feels likeI'm always doing something and
sometimes it never feels like itis pouring back into my
household the way that I wouldlike it to, because God has
(10:39):
definitely, definitely pouredinto my household and I heard
the Lord say share that, behonest and be vulnerable.
Be honest and be vulnerable, behuman, but recognize that you
are holy, chosen, set apart formy glory, jasmine.
(11:00):
So there's no space forbitterness, grudges, languishing
, disappointments Come to me.
I found breakthrough andhealing in naming all that,
(11:28):
sharing it with my community andjust letting it go.
I still know that I have to beon top of the work that I have
to do and participate in withthe Lord when it comes to my
(11:50):
heart, but it feels really niceto name it, to share it and to
not feel like I have to be soput together in order for God to
love me, to use me.
He just wants me to come to himin humility saying Abba, dad,
(12:19):
look, I ain't got it alltogether and I'm naming it and I
need your help.
The Lord is faithful and whatis impossible for us in our own
strength is absolutely possiblefor God.
(12:41):
Father, I pray right now for us.
Lord, I pray for myself and Ipray for the listeners.
Lord, father, I thank you.
I thank you that you love usenough to call out our anger.
I thank you that you love usenough to call out our pain.
(13:01):
And when we don't even realizewe're bleeding, we're hurt and
we're still trying to go andserve other people and you're
like wait a minute, I want totake care of that and, lord, I
(13:25):
loved it.
It is so much more about takingcare of our souls, taking care
of our spirits and our minds,though our flesh may fail us.
Yet we will trust you.
You are able.
We will praise you.
We will walk as holy people,but also human people.
(13:52):
That requires us to be honestpeople.
That requires us to be humblepeople.
Letting you in Father.
We invite you in Yeshua.
We invite you in Father.
We invite you in Yeshua.
We invite you in Holy Spirit.
(14:15):
Lead us, guide us into alltruth, show us how to let go of
the past, help us to embrace thepresent and help us to smile as
(14:39):
we think about the gloriousfuture.
I thank you, lord, for the wayswe can see you in all of those
places.
You are good and we worship youIn Yeshua's name, amen.
I hope this podcast blessed youtoday.
(15:03):
This podcast bless you today.
Please pray for me as I'm onthis holy human, honest journey.
Um, I want to be faithful, if Ican share, and just be holy,
human and honest with y'all.
Um, I have a diagnosis forsevere ADHD, but I am trusting
(15:30):
God.
You know, sometimes that makesit a little bit of a challenge
for me to keep things organizedand to be consistent with the
endeavors that I truly desire tofocus on and different things
that I want to do and differentthings that I feel called to.
Sometimes that's hard and itreally does get in the way.
(15:52):
But I believe in God and I'mtrusting him.
So any encouragement, man, itis so greatly appreciated.
I really want to love God'speople well and use my life and
use my gifts to bless hischildren.
Um, but shoot y'all my self-talkman.
(16:13):
Oh my gosh.
Sometimes it can just be likeit's hard.
It gets hard out here.
So, um, yeah, any feedback andencouragement is much
appreciated.
I need it.
I think sometimes people lookat me and they're like, wow,
jasmine does this and Jasminedoes that.
But you know, I have a journeytoo.
I have things I have to getthrough too mentally, but I
(16:36):
really do want to be obedient.
So, again, I hope this blessedyou and until next time again.
This is the Holy Human, honestpodcast with jasmine b nichols.
You.
Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Holy Human Honest
Podcast.
I'm your host, Jazmyn B.
Nichols, and thank you so muchfor spending your time here with
me today.
You could be anywhere else inthe world, but I hope that
something that I shared todaycan bring value to your life.
Now listen, you guys, like I, Isaid, this is the holy human
(00:24):
honest podcast, so I am notgoing to be doing a lot of
editing, um, it's just going tobe kind of what comes out, what
flows out, and I hope thatsomething that I share will be
something that resonates withyou.
So, as you guys already know,we're coming into the holiday
season, the holidays are hereand I really do love the
(00:47):
holidays.
I get the opportunity to spendso much time with my family, I
really enjoy time with friends,I enjoy gift giving and I don't
know.
Just all of the celebration,the lights, everything just
makes me so happy.
However, I know that sometimesthe holidays can be really hard
(01:10):
as well.
Um, and I myself have been, youknow, you know, going through a
little bit with the holidays.
Um, and, if I can be honest, Ishared with my church community
a few days ago that I was intherapy and I was sharing with
my therapist about something andshe was like, Jazmyn, you're
angry and I'm like angry and Iwas talking about a situation
(01:38):
and I guess the way I wastalking about it, um, she was
able to pinpoint anger.
Now, me having a background inpsychology, I know that anger is
a secondary emotion.
So if she's telling me, Jazmyn,you're dealing with anger,
which when she pointed it out Icould see that's what it was, I
(02:01):
know that under that has to besadness.
So I went on a little journeythroughout that week just really
asking myself what's under theanger?
First of all, I didn't evenrealize it was anger.
And let me tell you what we gettripped up with, that okay, how
the enemy can really trip us upwhen it comes to anger and we
(02:24):
can not even pinpoint it.
It happens when somethinghappens to us or we're going
through something and our angeror our frustration feels
justified because there arereally good reasons to be angry.
You know the Bible says beangry but sin not, and it also
(02:45):
says be slow to anger.
Sometimes we can be super quickto anger and sometimes we can
be angry and we can sin.
But it's tricky when we gothrough something and you know
we give ourselves thatpermission to be angry, which is
fine again.
And then I think it gets eventrickier when you know we've
(03:10):
gone through something and ourcommunity really validates that
anger, which you know ourcommunity should validate how
we're feeling.
But I think it can become alittle bit of a slippery slope.
If I'm honest, and I thinkthat's sort of what I realized I
was going through I gave myselfso many excuses as to why it
(03:32):
was okay for me to sit in thisanger for as long as I did.
Because, again, it's okay to beangry.
To me, anger is an alarm.
It's an alarm that tells mesomething is wrong.
It's not supposed to be myconstant habitation.
It's not supposed to be myconstant go-to, my constant
(03:56):
hideaway.
Anger is not supposed to be mysecret place.
And I think sometimes, whenwe've gotten so much comfort
while we are angry and a lot oftimes situations in our lives
that have led us to be angry arethe situations in our lives
(04:16):
where we have received the mostcompassion.
Oh, you know, you went throughthat.
That's so hard and I think alot of times that compassion
feels like affection and thataffection feels like love and
those things are all really good.
But I think we can get really,really comfortable in a space
that isn't for us.
And I realized as I was on thisjourney I had been feeling not
(04:42):
as close to the Lord as I oncedid.
I just I didn't, I didn't andfor a long time I thought, well,
maybe if I just go back to thisplace or had a relationship
with this person again or didthis and did that, and I started
to get honest with myself.
It's not about going back to acertain place, it's not about
(05:05):
being with certain people.
It's about breaking down wallsin our hearts that keep us away
from God, and anger is one ofthose walls.
Hurt is one of those walls.
Bitterness is one of thosewalls.
(05:39):
One of our pastors had beenpreaching that morning when I
shared with our congregationthat I'd been dealing with anger
.
He had been preaching thatmorning on a hope deferred and
how it makes the heart sick.
We defer a lot of hopesometimes when we just lavish
and relish in anger andself-pity.
And again, it's hard when wehave been hurt.
(06:01):
It is hard to just dust it offsometimes and keep on moving.
It's especially hard when wefeel like the hurt was just out
of nowhere or it was uncalledfor.
Maybe you lost a loved onesuddenly and this loved one was
(06:24):
somebody that gave back,somebody that served, and maybe
it felt like they were just goneway too soon.
Maybe you were hurt by peoplethat you really, really tried to
love, and maybe you weren'tperfect, but you were really
trying and it just felt like, nomatter what you did, it was
never enough.
Maybe you have tried to be areally really good
(06:49):
daughter-in-law or really reallygood mother-in-law or any type
of in-law, but you just becomeoutlaws to one another.
Maybe you find yourself longingfor a companion, and maybe it's
been years and you've beenfaithful and you've been
(07:10):
diligent, you've remained holyunto the Lord, and the holidays
may come and go again and youfind yourself single.
Maybe you're married.
Maybe you're married right nowand you see the family photos
(07:30):
that everybody is posting, butthey're what seems like a
perfect marriage and perfectchildren.
We all know that nobody'sperfect, but it can feel like
everybody around you is doingwell, with their smiles and
sparkling eyes and families thatseem so well kept.
(07:52):
It can be hard.
Maybe you find yourself dealingwith some sort of sickness this
holiday season again afteryou've been faithful to God.
Lord?
Where are you, lord?
Where are you?
(08:16):
Recently, I have found that Godis on the other side of my
surrender.
I don't need to get back to acertain place or a certain
picture or certain state ofbeing.
I have found that the onlyplace I need to get back to is a
(08:37):
place of humility.
Humility has been my answer,not perfection.
Not me praying the anger away,not me praying these things away
, but me coming before God andsaying, lord, I'm hurting, this
hurts and it's caused me to beangry and it has caused me to
(09:01):
act out of character.
And just when I think that I'vegone to you and I've gone under
your surgeon's knife, lord, foryou to do surgery on me Seems
like just when you seal me up,life comes and gouges out the
(09:21):
stitches.
Humility is going back againand again and again.
Not holding on to anger, nottrying to look like we have it
all together, not holding it allin.
(09:42):
I experienced a breakthroughwhen I was able to name that I
was angry and when I was able toname that I was angry.
I was able to name that I wassad and that I was disappointed.
I was able to name that I wasactually angry about a lot of
things and didn't even realizeit.
And didn't even realize it, Ifelt angry about certain
(10:12):
relationships.
I felt angry about lost time,lost loved ones.
I felt angry that it feels likeI'm always doing something and
sometimes it never feels like itis pouring back into my
household the way that I wouldlike it to, because God has
(10:39):
definitely, definitely pouredinto my household and I heard
the Lord say share that, behonest and be vulnerable.
Be honest and be vulnerable, behuman, but recognize that you
are holy, chosen, set apart formy glory, jasmine.
(11:00):
So there's no space forbitterness, grudges, languishing
, disappointments Come to me.
I found breakthrough andhealing in naming all that,
(11:28):
sharing it with my community andjust letting it go.
I still know that I have to beon top of the work that I have
to do and participate in withthe Lord when it comes to my
(11:50):
heart, but it feels really niceto name it, to share it and to
not feel like I have to be soput together in order for God to
love me, to use me.
He just wants me to come to himin humility saying Abba, dad,
(12:19):
look, I ain't got it alltogether and I'm naming it and I
need your help.
The Lord is faithful and whatis impossible for us in our own
strength is absolutely possiblefor God.
(12:41):
Father, I pray right now for us.
Lord, I pray for myself and Ipray for the listeners.
Lord, father, I thank you.
I thank you that you love usenough to call out our anger.
I thank you that you love usenough to call out our pain.
(13:01):
And when we don't even realizewe're bleeding, we're hurt and
we're still trying to go andserve other people and you're
like wait a minute, I want totake care of that and, lord, I
(13:25):
loved it.
It is so much more about takingcare of our souls, taking care
of our spirits and our minds,though our flesh may fail us.
Yet we will trust you.
You are able.
We will praise you.
We will walk as holy people,but also human people.
(13:52):
That requires us to be honestpeople.
That requires us to be humblepeople.
Letting you in Father.
We invite you in Yeshua.
We invite you in Father.
We invite you in Yeshua.
We invite you in Holy Spirit.
(14:15):
Lead us, guide us into alltruth, show us how to let go of
the past, help us to embrace thepresent and help us to smile as
(14:39):
we think about the gloriousfuture.
I thank you, lord, for the wayswe can see you in all of those
places.
You are good and we worship youIn Yeshua's name, amen.
I hope this podcast blessed youtoday.
(15:03):
This podcast bless you today.
Please pray for me as I'm onthis holy human, honest journey.
Um, I want to be faithful, if Ican share, and just be holy,
human and honest with y'all.
Um, I have a diagnosis forsevere ADHD, but I am trusting
(15:30):
God.
You know, sometimes that makesit a little bit of a challenge
for me to keep things organizedand to be consistent with the
endeavors that I truly desire tofocus on and different things
that I want to do and differentthings that I feel called to.
Sometimes that's hard and itreally does get in the way.
(15:52):
But I believe in God and I'mtrusting him.
So any encouragement, man, itis so greatly appreciated.
I really want to love God'speople well and use my life and
use my gifts to bless hischildren.
Um, but shoot y'all my self-talkman.
(16:13):
Oh my gosh.
Sometimes it can just be likeit's hard.
It gets hard out here.
So, um, yeah, any feedback andencouragement is much
appreciated.
I need it.
I think sometimes people lookat me and they're like, wow,
jasmine does this and Jasminedoes that.
But you know, I have a journeytoo.
I have things I have to getthrough too mentally, but I
(16:36):
really do want to be obedient.
So, again, I hope this blessedyou and until next time again.
This is the Holy Human, honestpodcast with jasmine b nichols.
You.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.