Tips for Marriage During Christmas and New Years: Mini Episode

Episode Transcript
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Lennon (00:03):
This is the Home and Marriage Podcast with Lennon and
Christal Noland, where we helpcouples become better at home
and stronger together.
We're husband and wife, parentsand ministers who want God's
best for our home and for yours.
Well, friends, Merry Christmasto you.
Wherever you are and whateveryou're doing, I hope that it is

(00:23):
in the spirit of the way thatthings should be done.
As for us, we're often running.
Kids are officially out ofschool.
This was their first full daywith all of them home.
But you, my lady, you, you'vehad a busy day.

Christal (00:37):
It's been a very busy day and I'm just glad that I'm
done with this shopping.
So I thought I had most of myshopping done.
I had a couple more things thatI realized, okay, I gotta get
these things.
And of course to go on a Fridayin our town where we live is
craziness.
Yeah.
And I don't know what I wasthinking, but I got it done.
You know, I'm in the store, youknow, five below is actually a

(01:00):
great place to get stockingstuffers.
Right.

Lennon (01:02):
Five below is fantastic.
And

Christal (01:03):
TJ Max.
We talked about TJ Maxx.
I think we should get some moneyfrom TJ Maxx for saying so much
about TJ Maxx.
Anyways, I'm in the store.
And Addie, my oldest, came withme and she's like, mom, people
annoy me at Christmas time.
I go, I know.
I get it.
Everybody just kind of has likeyou could tell people are a
little edgy.

Lennon (01:24):
Yeah,

Christal (01:25):
yeah.

Lennon (01:25):
People need Jesus move at Christmas time.

Christal (01:28):
I need Jesus at Christmas time.
Yeah.
I need Jesus.
Yeah.
Yeah.

Lennon (01:31):
We do need Jesus at Christmas time.
And speaking of needing Jesus,uh, there are some things that
really make Christmas just moreenjoyable, and so our
contribution to you friendslistening this week that, that
we wanted to give you just ashort podcast.
We wanna give you some marriagetips for this Christmas and New

(01:53):
Year's.
Week.
These are things that weactively do to make the
Christmas week, uh, just moreenjoyable, not just for us and
family, but for for us,

Christal (02:05):
right?
For

Lennon (02:05):
you and for me.

Christal (02:07):
Because marriage is still going on while there's
Christmas time.

Lennon (02:10):
It's true.
Our

Christal (02:10):
love should still be present and evident during the,
during Christmas and New Year's,

Lennon (02:16):
because when it's over, we're gonna be stuck with each
other.

Christal (02:18):
That's right.

Lennon (02:20):
So let's go through this.
What are the, what's our littlelist that we've put together for
'em?

Christal (02:24):
So first of all, parents of littles.
Know that this may be hard foryou in this season, but find
some way to still schedule sometime alone during the rush of
the holiday season.
And what we mean is if you're inthat phase where, Hey, we're
putting the kids to bed andwe're gonna hang out, just me

(02:45):
and my spouse gonna watch amovie, gonna do whatever you do
to just spend intentional timealone.
Don't forget about date night.
Date night can still happenduring Christmas time.

Lennon (02:57):
Mm-hmm.

Christal (02:58):
So Lenon, what do you think about that?
Like how important is it for usto spend some time alone during
Christmas?
As hard as that could be.

Lennon (03:06):
Yeah.
I think it's, I think it's justa joyful.
Reprieve from the preparation,from doing things for the kids,
if you have kids from going tooffice parties or whatever, if
that is, if that is your dealand your schedule.
One of the ways we've fit thisin over the years is we have a,
a Christmas night tradition.
Sometimes it's moved a littlebit, but.
All the time during theChristmas season.

(03:28):
I don't know that we've missedin a really good while.
Uh, we watch it's a wonderfullife together.
Mm-hmm.
Kids go to bed.
It's you and me.
It's a wonderful life.
The finest meats and cheesesthat Aldi has.
Oh my gosh.
You say this all the time.
I know, I do.
And, and it's real.
And we, we settle in and wewatch the show.

Christal (03:46):
Yeah.
Or a good Coke Zero.
I love Coke Zero.

Lennon (03:50):
Coke Zero and Fresca really capture the spirit of the
season for a couple of boringmiddle-aged parents.

Christal (03:56):
Here's what I'm gonna say, Some of us have, like you
said, you mentioned officeChristmas parties or maybe
church Christmas events.
There's so many events andthings scheduled and we put
aside everything to go to thoseevents, you know, get dressed up
and do the thing.
So why not?

(04:17):
Schedule some alone time withyour loved one.

Lennon (04:21):
Yeah, so we did something new this year that
whenever we were done, we'relike, we're gonna make this a
tradition just in this deal ofscheduling some alone time.
We leveraged our relationshipwith the grandparents.
Wouldn't y'all love to see yourgrandchildren for a night?
Because it just so happens webought concert tickets up in
North Dallas, so we boughtconcert tickets to Andrew

(04:43):
Peterson.
Fantastic Christmas concert.
We stayed at a hotel the nextmorning before we came home.
We walked around.
We had some very mid Thai foodfor lunch, and there was a hair
in my egg roll.
Ooh, gross.

Christal (04:59):
And we

Lennon (04:59):
sent it back.

Christal (05:00):
Yeah, gross.

Lennon (05:00):
Probably don't need to share that with our friends.

Christal (05:02):
T-M-I-T-M-I Lennon.

Lennon (05:04):
But the point is, after all of that.
We were like, this was reallygreat.

Christal (05:07):
Yeah,

Lennon (05:07):
this was really worth it.

Christal (05:08):
We were so glad we did it and we, we made sacrifices
where we needed to so we could,

Lennon (05:14):
Yes, we did, because the Christmas budget is not
infinite.

Christal (05:17):
It's not, especially when you're buying gifts for
everybody and you're having tospend money on.
Stuff you don't normally spendit on.

Lennon (05:25):
Right.
So that's the first thing.
Schedule some alone timetogether.
What's number two?
Christal, take us away.

Christal (05:30):
So number two is help each other out.
And what we mean by that isdon't put all the Christmas
to-dos on just one person, eventhough there usually is one
person.
Sometimes the mom that does alot of the Christmas stuff,
because I know that you can'twrap a Christmas gift to save
your life.

Lennon (05:49):
I can't wrap a Christmas gift to save my life.
And let's be honest, a lot ofthe times I found out what the
kids got for Christmas onChristmas morning.
The truth is, in our family, youdo way more than I do for
Christmas.
I do the literal heavy lifting.
It's a, it's a big sweaty day.
Getting stuff down from theattic, dragging stuff inside.

(06:09):
That's right.
Taking stuff back out.
But you do the budgeting, theplanning you do most I shop for
you.
Yeah, you do.
And that's the only person Ishop for at Christmas.
And so gentlemen, arise with meif this is your arrangement
also.
Make sure that your wife has asmuch help as she wants.

(06:30):
Yeah.
The truth is you do all thisstuff better than me and you
don't want me getting in the wayof most of it.
Mm-hmm.
But if I don't offer to help youat all, you can really feel like
the Wizard of Oz behind thecurtain trying to make this
whole Christmas thing happenedby yourself in.
We shouldn't do that.
Yes.
So in what ways, when I'vehelped you appropriately, how

(06:51):
have I helped you?
How can men help out?

Christal (06:54):
Well, first of all, I think as wives, we need to be
willing to ask our husbands forhelp because here's what we tend
to do, and how do I know this?
Maybe speaking for fromexperience, I don't know,

Lennon (07:04):
masterclass,

Christal (07:04):
but we tend to get a little, um, we tend to get a
little resentful because we'redoing so much, and so I, I
really think for us as wives,sometimes we need to stop
thinking that we are supposed todo.
Everything, and it's all on us.
Nobody can help us.
We have to carry the wholeburden.

(07:26):
Sometimes we need to say, Heyhoney, can you do this for me?
Could you pick up the groceriessince I'll be going and getting
some presents?
I just think we need to also askfor help, but it's so good.
I think just as husband and wifethat we recognize that we need
to help each other.
I know when you see me working alot, you do offer too, so that's

(07:46):
really helpful.
That's really helpful.

Lennon (07:48):
Yes, so don't let all the Christmas festivities be, be
ran by just one person.
Help'em out.
The third thing I'll deliverthis one is get them something
thoughtful for Christmas day.
Don't use if you, if you havekids, don't use all of your
thoughtfulness.
On the kids.
Mm-hmm.
Save a little bit for the personyou love.

(08:11):
Pay attention.
So what they've said, men writeit down in your phone super
quickly or save the textsomething, but be thoughtful
about Christmas Day.
You don't want it to be like theSNL episode.
I got a robe.

Christal (08:26):
Yeah, the skit where the mom just gets a robe and
everybody gets like everythingon their list that they wanted.
Yes.
And she keeps saying, and I gota robe.

Lennon (08:33):
Yeah.

Christal (08:34):
And I got a robe.

Lennon (08:36):
You don't want that.
Yeah.
And you don't wanna leave the TJMaxx tag on there with the price
on it.
You want to be thoughtful,listen intently, surprise them.
Effort is more important thanprice tag, but pay attention and
do something thoughtful.

Christal (08:51):
Yeah.
I saw a really funny reel theother day.
I actually showed it to you.
But the husband is teachingother husbands.
What a stocking is, what awife's stocking is, and what to
do with it.
And he talks about filling itup.
He's like, go, you know, look onher counter, get some of the
products that she loves to use.
Go get more of those.
Go to the, the lady at Ulta say,Hey, I want more of this stuff.

(09:13):
Like, go fill that thing up withgoodies for Christmas, because
it is true.
A lot of times the mom getsforgotten in the stocking, so.
So, yeah.
Do something thoughtful for eachother on Christmas Day.
if your wife says, I don't wantanything, I'm fine.
I don't really need anything.
That is your cue to go find herSomething that is not, that is

(09:36):
not what that means.

Lennon (09:37):
This is a, a very important moment in the history
of men understanding women.
Yes.
I feel, yes.
So why do women say I don't wantanything?

Christal (09:44):
Well, I don't know.

Lennon (09:46):
Are you saying that as a woman you don't always
understand women

Christal (09:49):
as a woman?
I don't even always understandmyself.
I would just say, but I think wedo that because we're trying to
be self-sacrificing and we'retrying to be like, I don't wanna
be a needy person.
Now I have friends who will beclear like, honey, I'm gonna
give you all the links to thethings I want for Christmas.
So this is not all women, but ifa woman says, I don't need

(10:09):
anything, don't get me anything,do not listen to that.
Does that make sense?

Lennon (10:14):
It does.
So don't listen to your womanand listen to my woman right now
who's saying, get her something.
Get

Christal (10:20):
her something, and something thoughtful

Lennon (10:22):
and something thoughtful.

Christal (10:23):
Okay, let's, let's move on to the next one.
Uh, the next one is, don'tforget their love language.

Lennon (10:30):
This could be a cheat code in terms of get them
something thoughtful actually,because what we tend to do, and
the whole love language thingwas come up with by an author.
It's not written down in theBible.
This isn't a commandment ofscripture.
And yet it is a fantastic gridto understand basically this
concept that we tend to lovesomeone in the way that we like

(10:51):
to be loved.
Mm-hmm.
And so that if I am an acts ofservice person and I am, I might
try to love you by doing thelaundry for you, washing the
dishes for you, all of which youappreciate.
But you don't appreciate it asmuch as me encouraging you with
words of affirmation.
Mm-hmm.

(11:12):
Or sitting aside quality time.

Christal (11:15):
I know it's really important to me, and I know when
you speak that language, I, Ifeel loved and I know for you,
yours is acts of service.
So here's an example onChristmas morning, I know I'll
be bringing you some coffee,probably your third cup in the
morning.
Mm-hmm.
Because we're tired.
I'll be baking the,

Lennon (11:35):
sticky buns.
Sticky

Christal (11:36):
buns.
I'll be bringing you the stickybuns and the bacon, so I know
that's something you feel veryloves and you're gonna, you're
just gonna be glowing onChristmas day.

Lennon (11:46):
I will be, and it doesn't matter what's what the
gifts are, because I will beglowing because of that.
But the real simple thing isthese five love languages, it's
quality time, acts of service,physical touch, words of
affirmation.
And giving of gifts.
Mm-hmm.
Basically, one of those isprobably the way your spouse
likes to be loved.
Ask them about it, and if theysay, Hey, it's none of those,

(12:08):
why would you put me in a box?
Here is my sixth and seventhfavorite Love language.
Love them.
How they enjoy being loved.

Christal (12:16):
Yes.
Amen.
Okay, so let's recap.
What are the things?

Lennon (12:20):
The things were schedule some time alone together.

Christal (12:24):
It's not too late.
I know this comes out two daysbefore Christmas.
Yeah.
But it's not too late toschedule a little time in the
holidays alone.

Lennon (12:30):
Doesn't mean you even have to leave the house.

Christal (12:32):
True.

Lennon (12:33):
Send the kids to bed.
Stay up a little late.
Enjoy each other.

Christal (12:36):
Right.
And then.

Lennon (12:38):
We're gonna help each other out.
Mm-hmm.
I'm not gonna let you run thewhole show by yourself.
You are gonna get as much helpas you are willing to let me
help, because I'm gonna ask you,honey, is there anything I can
do?

Christal (12:48):
Yeah.
I love how you hold the trashbag on Christmas morning.
'cause I would hate doing that.

Lennon (12:53):
I'm so good at that.

Christal (12:54):
So there you go.
And then the third thing is getthem something thoughtful for
Christmas Day.
It's two days before, guys.
You still have time.

Lennon (13:02):
You have time to think about it and to go out in town,
wait into the madness and findsomething that'll make them
smile.

Christal (13:09):
And then last, don't forget their love language.

Lennon (13:11):
Yeah, just pay attention to how each other is wired.
You are the only one who canlove them the way you can love
them.
Wow, that sounds simple, butit's also true.
You know them better than anyoneelse.
Devote yourself to the craft.

Christal (13:23):
That's right.
Well, that's it.
Lennon.
That's our mini episode forChristmas, tips for Marriage.

Lennon (13:28):
And hey friends, as you're going into the new year,
one more thing, celebrate,you're still together.
You've made it through, and 2026is looking bright, so.
Don't forget to follow orsubscribe so you never miss an
episode of Today's conversation,encouraged you and you think it
would encourage a friend.
Would you send this over tothem, help them find the show,

(13:49):
expand the community.
You can always visit home andmarriage.com for more resources,
like our Six Habits of HappyCouples Course.
And if you'd like us to comespeak at your church, you can
schedule us through thatwebsite.
Follow us along over theholidays on all the socials,
Instagram, Facebook, TikTok.

Christal (14:05):
Thank you for joining us on the Home and Marriage
Podcast.
We really do believe that homecan be your favorite place.
We'll be back again next weekwith more encouragement and
wisdom to help you become betterat home and stronger together.
Merry Christmas and a happy NewYear.

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