Episode 4: Exchanging Perfectionism for Personality. F*ck the Rules

Get ready to ditch childhood rulebooks and embrace your messy, glorious, totally imperfect self. In this episode of Home to Me, we'll uncover the invisible rules we learned to keep safe—and explore how they might be holding us back. 

Think always "being polite," or the curse of thinking achievement > effort. We’ll cheer each other on as we start saying: “Fuck the rules...unless they’re ours.” Expect stories, laughs, and permission to break free.

 

Show Notes

This Episode Covers:

• Reflection: What “rules” from childhood still run your life?

• Real-life examples:

  • “Achievement above effort” mindset

  • The unspoken politeness codes

  • The “golf = selfish” myth (thanks, husband 😉)

• The toxic trio: burnout, resentment, and comparison

• How to unlearn old rules: name them → test them → rewrite them

• Healing in action: answering imperfectly, role-playing, and loving confusion

• A South African-American lens on freeing yourself from political tribalism

Key Takeaways:

1. You don’t have to follow rules you didn’t choose.

2. Name the rule → ask who benefits from it → design a new one for you.

3. Embrace confusion—it’s growth’s BFF.

4. Quote to journal on: “The old rules kept you safe. The new ones can set you free.”

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