Ep. 3 – Chapter 3: Real Eyes, Realize, Real Lies

In this episode, Sean goes through the war he had to battle through once his father left. He recalls and analyzes the emails he exchanged with him. Content contains explicit language, as well as intense themes.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hi, Sean Fay here. During last week's episode, as well as today's and next week's, there

(00:05):
are things discussed which I have evidence to provide. While I can't necessarily see
said evidence by listening on your chosen podcasting platform, I wanted to let you know
I also have video versions of the podcast uploaded on YouTube and Rumble where my evidence
is shown. You can check out Hope in the Ashes on YouTube at youtube.com slash at Hope in
the Ashes, or if you give a shit about free speech, which you should, head on over to

(00:28):
Rumble.com slash user slash Hope in the Ashes and you can find the account there. You know,
even better, you could go to Hope in the Ashes dot com and see the episodes there as I link
the Rumble videos on each post. I just want to let you know of that, but let me carry
on with chapter three of my Haina story.

(00:58):
Seriously, on Hope in the Ashes.
My former therapist Jim sharing with me what he noticed from his other clients dealing
with divorce. It is so much more peaceful on the other side since the bickering and arguing
is over and everyone could go back to living a simple life without any stressors around
in the household. While I find that to be the path as New Englanders call them, I was

(01:20):
an avid sports fan for a while, really when politics became a mainstay in each sport, that's
when I was turned off from them. When I was an elementary school nonsensical reason I can't
recall currently, my dad decided I was a piece of shit lowlife, a failure, and would be a
seller-dweller for the rest of my life. He randomly came up with this mantra about me
nearly out of thin air. Maybe it was because I quit my job delivering. Guys, I will always

(01:43):
love you and will never turn my back on either of you, but I am leaving the house. Your mother
is going to make me out to be the bad guy and that's fine. There has been so many things
that has happened through the years and I took it for too long. I don't want you to know
so much and see your mother. I'm not going to keep going around in circles. It's not
hard. Once you commit to repairing whatever you're dealing with in your head or whatever
you think is wrong, things aren't going to get any better for any of us.

(02:15):
This is Hope in the Ashes with Sean Fay.
Chapter 3 Realize, Realize, Real Lies

(02:40):
Even though my mom had the courage to send my father packing once and for all, we were
still due to go through a more than tumultuous time with my piece of shit father. He had
broken us down so much we had no clue of it. I know some would say, why didn't she see
it sooner? It's not an easy question to answer, especially dealing with someone who had such
a capable power of mind control and mass manipulation.

(03:02):
I still can't compute how our lives, with him in it, were able to continue for as long
as it did. I'm sure it's a question you ask yourself. I guess we wanted to believe
within every fiber we had, he held our best intentions in mind. Even if he bitched at us
for something we did or said, we were always left with, I'm sure he's right, we also
never expected him to not only withhold pertinent information from us, but also modify it to

(03:24):
satisfy whatever is on his agenda. Who would ever think to create an agenda and impose
that agenda on others around them? Well, only those who choose to arbor the evil spirit
with great pride. There's no logical way to explain how tinkering with others' lives
as if it's the Sims would be operating for the betterment of society today. Obviously,
the Sims is not a game. Life is not a simulation, as conspiracy theorists would claim, and may

(03:49):
seem like it with the fucking bullshit we see around us on the daily, but point blank,
your vision is real. It's not a facsimile of human existence.
At Thanksgiving, the first without him, it was a train wreck. My mom cooked the turkey
upside down, it was dry as fuck. She was a mess, all day. We were all a mess.
I may be handled at the best, but that still doesn't mean I couldn't share moments of

(04:12):
grief with myself in private. Realizing he was gone forever was still fresh, and it would
take one more year for me to realize why this was the best outcome. He did decide to check
in on us after what he did.
Happy Thanksgiving, guys. Hope you have a good day. Just because I'm not there doesn't
mean I'm not thinking about you guys. My brother responded. Happy Thanksgiving to you, too.

(04:37):
I was silent. At this rate, I had a small belief he actually missed us. Maybe he was
finally realizing he made a serious mistake and he'll be back home eventually. I honestly
tried to view it as a vacation for him. Maybe something would snap him back into gear and
he would come back? But I was in no shape to keep pondering the question with him. I was
in a place where I felt I had to just let go and let him figure his demons out. Hopefully.

(05:00):
Then nearly a week and a half later, he cried out again.
Just wanted to remind you guys that I love you and miss you both.
My brother could only reply with a teeth-chattering emoji. Little did I know, him leaving wasn't
the end of the nightmare. My next turtle came before me. With the end of the year approaching,
his Golden Gloves tournament was coming up again. Clearly, with the devastation he left

(05:21):
weeks prior, awkwardness would ensue if my ass was doing music for him. I wasn't going
to wipe away the tears and to a total different dimension of reality and be ready to be his
sound manager yet another year. For as twisted as I now know he is, he probably would have
wanted me to go on and bury the massive secret of my parents' impending divorce. Truly, we
saw it as what he was trying to do all along. I was presented with two doors in front of

(05:45):
me.
A. I could ignore confrontation and simply show up as planned and see how everything goes
for one last time, fully knowing my mom probably would have pressured me to squash it.
Or B. Face up to him and let him know my time as sound manager would be no longer and is
asking to go find someone else to deal with his petty bullshit.
B. Sorry, I just can't get over his lack of creativity. Fucking sound manager.

(06:07):
C. Well, as much as conflict avoidance would scream at me to deflect, I vowed to myself
I had to stand up to him. I knew he made his choice to run away from the problem instead
of fixing it. Therefore, I was led to send him a resignation letter. In a text message.
C. Actually, it was a bit more than that. I needed to let some shit out of me. Any names
other than my fathers, my brothers, and mine will be redacted.

(06:30):
C. I'm letting you know I will no longer be doing the sound for the Golden Gloves next
month. This is non-negotiable and no one has made me come to this decision.
C. Over the past few years, I was starting to lose my interest in doing it, but I know
you liked me doing it and I wanted to respect that. However, now that I've realized that
respect means nothing to you, it has made my decision much easier to make. Therefore,

(06:51):
I'm not arguing with you. I am not doing the audio for the Golden Gloves or any shows
you do going forward. You will need to find someone else to take care of it.
Your rhetoric of she's coached you, she told you to say this, and any other bullshit you
think she tells us to say or do couldn't be any further from the truth. The more times
you use this defense, the less it works, and on top of that, the less dignified it makes

(07:12):
you look.
I don't want to hear you using this callous excuse anymore. I'm also tired of your pathetic
chances of trying to win myself and Daniel back telling us you love us and you miss us.
We both know it's not true and my mom definitely knows that too. If you really loved and missed
us, you would be doing everything you can to make your marriage work and rebuild a relationship
with Daniel and I. Instead, you want to abandon us but also tell us you're not abandoning

(07:35):
us. Nothing with you makes any sense to any of us. There's nothing in you and no one
around you that will show you what you're doing and how you're acting is sick, cruel,
and undignified. That is one of the saddest parts of this ordeal. Also, on top of that,
the three of us all feel as if we're living our best lives without you. Finally, the crucial
things I was raised with you don't even do yourself. You always told me there's three

(07:57):
types of people in this world. There's people who watch things happen, people who make things
happen, and people who don't even know what is happening. The most important person is
the one who makes things happen.
Clearly, based off of your actions, including abandoning your own family you built, the
reality you don't want to face, you'd rather watch yourself wither away than to make change.
You may think I'm stupid, you may think I don't know how things are, but instead of

(08:19):
teaching me and guiding me through the process of life and how it works, you'd rather bully
me into becoming what you want me to be instead of embracing the fact I'm not an alcoholic,
a drug addict, or any kind of criminal. You care most about what benefits you before your
family you've built. You tell me this has been a long time coming. Well, the way you've
treated myself along with its consequences have been a long time coming. You're going

(08:40):
to be in for a rude awakening. I still wish you would try to make things better, but every
attempt my mom makes, you push away and refuse to accept responsibility. So until then, don't
expect me to be there when you need me, because you're no longer here when I need you. I
wanted **** and his brother to help me with my car when **** went south with it because
they've always been there when I needed them. **** and his brother **** would have helped

(09:01):
me out just fine, but because **** called you completely unaware of what you created,
you had to be the hero and step up so you could keep your little secret from everyone.
That's what it is because you would benefit with it, not just me. Nothing you do is ever
genuine. There's so many things I could say to you, but most of those things would be
unforgivable for me to say, but others would spin you in the same defined circle you continue

(09:23):
to go through. I've already said way more than I should have, but there's been so much
I've had to deal with from you that you must know affects myself, Daniel, and my mom. So
consider this the last time I ever say anything to you. I'm not helping you with the golden
gloves, anything that has to do with that gym, or anything that adds to your inflated
ego, which you care about more than your own family. I hope you'll realize what you've

(09:43):
done and I wish someday you'll want to fix the damage you've made.
Damage was already done to me. I realized the only way I could heal is to try to rid
myself of the vicious demons, the very ones I realized he planted within me. He needed
a taste of his own medicine. For someone who could easily dish this **** out to others,
it was time he faced himself in the mirror and saw what the true reality was. I was broken.

(10:06):
My mom was broken. We were all broken. In moments like this, I would always envision
him acting exactly as you see in old cartoons. Burt Redface, smokestacks coming out of each
year, the whole nine yards. He became no different than the keyboard warriors you see on social
media today. His social media was email, text messaging, and yelling until his Burt Redface

(10:26):
turned blue with depleted oxygen over the phone. He responded with this,
It's not right. Everything you have has been provided by me. You have a terrible work ethic
just like your mother. I was just a paycheck to all of you. Everything was fine when I
was paying the bills and putting a roof over your head and giving you everything you ever
needed and wanted. I'm sorry you feel that way and would want me to stay in a relationship

(10:49):
of lies and deceit. I have lost everything in my life because of your mother. You are
24 years old and about to learn a valuable lesson in humanity. You want nothing from
me? No problem. I'm not living there anymore and you want nothing from me. We'll see
how far that goes. I'll stop paying your phone, the mortgage, the gas, the electric,
the heat, and you can get a job to pay the bills. We'll see how that goes for you.

(11:12):
This was where much fear manifested in me. At this point, right after he left, he was
consistently making threats of not paying the mortgage on the house, the phone, anything.
Fuck, he left us with no money when he left. Knowing all we had was whatever he brought
in from his job in the gym. Regardless, he made no effort to try to make sure we were
both taken care of and have everything we needed. But we never realized his needs actually

(11:36):
came with strings attached. It was never simple. He always had to get back something in return,
even if our livelihoods were at stake. This was only the beginning of what would metamorphose
into a sad, sad, pernicious year of mental and emotional bloodshed. I was mournful when
my father left that day in November 2022. Sadness flooded all of us for a while. But

(11:56):
really, that while only lasted until right before Christmas of that year. I still remember
the day she was served the papers. After getting back home from a workout at our local plant
of fitness, she noticed she forgot her earbuds in her car. There, when she walked down the
stairs to our driveway, she looked up to notice a police cruiser in front of our house. Then,
she noticed a cop walking up to her with a stack of stapled papers. It was just like

(12:18):
that. And the blink of an eye. When I looked at the paperwork, I noticed a checked box
which read, Prohibit defendant from imposing any restraint on plaintiff's personal liberty.
My father was making sure my mom wouldn't harass him during the process, is what that
translates to. After all the shit he said to us and the shit he put us through for 30
collective years, he wants us to leave him alone. Do whatever the fuck you want and slam

(12:42):
the door behind you before we can defend ourselves. From this point forward, it became
a narrative of him being the victim. He was the one claiming to be put through the ringer,
not us. Shortly after being served the divorce papers, his eyes must have lit up, because
he decided he needed to come after me yet again. Assuming he was still livid about me
not doing music for the golden gloves anymore, he decided I needed to hand in all the equipment

(13:04):
he bought for me to use. I needed to return all the DJ equipment you have that was purchased
through the gym. That includes the laptop or laptops. After all I did for you and you
just want to quit. You're about to learn a valuable lesson on how to be a man and take
responsibility. You also need to pay me back all the money I let you borrow when I'm not
paying for your phone any longer. So please give me back your phone so I can turn it in.

(13:26):
If you want to pay me for what I owe on the phone, that's fine, but I'm not paying for
the service. You're 24 years old and have to start being a man. The days of sitting
on your ass and playing video games are over. You will certainly come to realize all I did
for all of you and all I asked for was a little respect from you kids and some love from your
mother. All of you took me for granted and shit on me while I worked my ass off to put

(13:46):
a roof over your head, food in your stomach and clothes on your back. I grew up struggling
and you and your mother have absolutely no idea what it's like to struggle to have to
work hard for what you want. Well, you're about to find out. The free pass is over.
Time to man up.
Like his ass didn't touch a Nintendo Entertainment System when he was a kid. Well, he probably

(14:06):
didn't since his parents didn't make much money themselves. All their money really went
to bills and feeding their alcohol addictions. I'm not sure what his mom drank, but I knew
his father drank Jameson whiskey a bottle before bedtime. It's kind of why he eventually
became a diabetic and died in his early 50s right before my dad bought us our house in
Westfield. I don't remember much about him.

(14:27):
Anyway, I guess I'll mention Christmas Day. While it wasn't as dreary as Thanksgiving
since our loss had begun to settle with us, we had to be reminded yet again of our father's
presence, the same man who wished for us to prohibit from imposing any restraint on his
personal liberty.
I was hoping to get a text from one of you, but I guess I'm not very high on other of
your priority lists. But in time, you'll understand why I did what I did. I worked

(14:51):
my ass off at work working overtime and road job. So you guys got everything you wanted
and needed, but I guess all those years don't mean anything. I will never stop loving you
and you both will always be my top priority. Now that you're both adults, it's time to
step up to the plate and understand what it's like to be an adult. I just wanted to say
Merry Christmas and I hope your mother used the money I gave her to buy you Christmas presents.

(15:12):
And when you think I walked out, everything you have right now was paid for by me. I pay
the mortgage so you have a roof over your head. I pay all the utilities, gas, electric,
cable, phone, internet, and your mother's car and insurance so tonight when you're nice
and warm, know that it's because of me.
I would have the energy to say something back, but I was so lethargic from the torment he
was putting us through. Shaming, belittling, constant reminders of who I am and who we

(15:36):
are in his eyes. Constant threats of shutting all my stuff off. Constant threats of our
house not being paid for. Constant threats of our livelihoods being torn from us. Half
of me wanted to fight back, but the other half was tired of the weight he put on all
of our shoulders. We were being placed into a position where we were the enemy and our
survival had to be eradicated over frivolous allegations he gladly levied against us, all

(15:59):
predicated on his egregious chauvinism towards himself being the real sufferer in all of
this. He was a survivor, not us, yet we never did anything. We never antagonized him, we
never committed any actions moving towards a plan for his own collapse. Sabotage was
never an ingrained being. How could it be?
Regardless of how we felt, he was committed to a master plan with a dying wish for us

(16:21):
to be shattered to pieces. Also, he could become a fanatical superhero instead of an
inbrood martyr. All of the previous two paragraphs reveal the ballast we've become forced to
live with even to this day, however slowly we see the weight begin to shed with every
crack that forms in his evil plan. I'm writing this now in the early morning of March 19th,
2024. My mom currently faces a count of identity fraud placed on her for around $150 next month.

(16:48):
Long story short, my mom tried to get my brother a new Xbox Series S console at Walmart using
a firm to pay for it in installments, and he somehow found out about it and is now trying
to claim she opened a line of credit in his name. She didn't do any of it in his name
at all. On top of that, she already paid off the console and has evidence to prove it.
She also has evidence of him hacking into our account on Experian's website the month

(17:10):
after they separated at the very same time I've been sharing with you right now. This
fucker never even hid the evidence. This is not a man looking to save himself from impending
debt. This is a man who sees our suffering and loves every second of it, even if his
dumb ass leads himself into a disastrous ending. This is also someone who has my mom claims
who never wanted to be embarrassed. I will admit, with the constant threats of no longer

(17:33):
paying for any living expenses, I never actually believed he would do it. With every abusive
action he had, I literally kept thinking it wouldn't get worse. It couldn't. I had
never seen him ever reach down to such low-lying fruit like this before, so I never had any
reason to see what was coming next around the corner. Yet, I had to face even more hysteria.
On December 30th, 2022, right after Christmas, mind you, my father placed an ultimatum I

(17:58):
couldn't bear to say. You have the next two weeks to get your own phone. I'm not paying
for your phone any longer. If you want to take over your phone through T-Mobile, go
down to the office and tell them that you want to take the phone and number into your
own name. I needed my phone. Since I was doing food delivery, my phone was my means of at
least having some kind of money for myself. I needed to be able to bring home something.

(18:20):
This would be no different than if he were to hold my car itself for ransom. Yet again,
I didn't believe him. This couldn't possibly get worse, could it? In spite of that, Lucifer
revealed himself again. While I was driving down a main road, waiting for the next order
to come in, I noticed my phone reception went out. Before, it would occasionally go out
and come back for a reason I can't remember now. But with the looming possibility of him

(18:43):
shutting my phone off, I was always paranoid of that moment striking. As I kept driving,
I continuously noticed the reception still out. It wasn't coming back. At this rate,
I felt I had to begin driving home in case it wasn't coming on. Five more minutes, nothing.
Five more minutes, nothing. Five more minutes, nothing. It was not coming back on. While

(19:08):
anxiety built up, it wasn't too overpowering because I truly didn't know if my phone was
fucked up or if he indeed shut the phone off. Once I got home, I had my mom try to call
it and was greeted with a message. This message revealed the line was suspended by the main
account holder. My father. He fucking did it. While there was obvious shock at the immediate

(19:28):
cognizance, the trauma didn't overwhelm me until the next day or two. Yet again, evil
prevailed. I kept believing this wound wouldn't get bigger, yet it was metastasizing at such
a rapid rate. We all began to wonder what was coming next. This only gets worse, so
if you have any kind of heart condition, anxiety disorder, maybe even post-traumatic stress
disorder from your own abusive situation, I advise you to skip the rest of this chapter

(19:52):
because this only gets more depressing from here, on all accounts. I'm not being facetious.
I'm serious.
This was a dreaded episode of my dad shutting my phone off and began fighting a battle within
myself. It became so massive I was constantly overwhelmed with the enemies that surrounded

(20:13):
me. I was a piece of shit. I was a degenerate. I was a college dropout. My mom was a liar.
My mom was a piece of shit. My brother had taken some blows from him too. It was World
War III in our house. Even though we would seemingly win a numbers game, 3 against 1,
he would always manage to have the upper hand. One week later, January 30th, 2023, I was

(20:35):
desperately fighting the urge not to crack. My father saw another opportunity to rub me
right back into the shit pile again. However, this seemed to be set to a different tone.
Fire and flames seemed to dissipate. This felt more like a retreat rather than advancement.
At 8.55pm, I received an email from him. It was the only means of communication I hadn't
blocked from him yet.

(21:25):
All the way to the day you graduated. I just couldn't live a lie with your mother any
longer. I met your mother when I was 15 years old and in a very tough time with my life.
Your mother was everything to me for so long. We definitely went through our difficult times.
But she and you kids never went without. I have very strong values and wanted those values

(21:48):
passed on to my kids, which is why I chose to have your mother stay home to raise you
and your brother. I knew that I had to do whatever I had to do so your mother and you kids had
everything you ever needed or wanted. The deal was that your mother instilled the values in you
too while I paid the bills. I worked every opportunity I could so the money kept coming in,

(22:10):
double and triple shifts and even working as a roofer when the overtime was scarce.
I would work all night on the police department and spend the entire day carrying 100 pound bundles
of shingles up a ladder and nailing them to a roof all day so you guys could have whatever
you needed and wanted. While this was happening, your mother was not teaching you kids the values

(22:31):
that you needed. She was too busy sitting on the couch playing games on her tablet while you kids
learned nothing. As long as you two stayed quiet in your rooms, her job was complete. The entire time
you two learned absolutely no values. I would come home after working 18 hour days to find a
sink full of dishes, unwashed clothes and two kids that were eating hot pockets for dinner.

(22:57):
That was not the deal. Then she began applying for credit cards under my name while sending
the bills to her parents house so I wouldn't see them. Before I knew it, they were shutting off the
gas, electric and cell phones because she didn't pay the bills. I questioned a few of these credit
cards that I found out about and she continued to lie straight to my face saying she didn't know

(23:18):
anything about them. I would just keep working more and more. Eventually it became too much to
burden and there just wasn't enough time and a day to work. I begged and pleaded for your mother to
get a job to help try to clear up these bills. She flat out refused. This caused our house in
Westfield to be foreclosed on. This devastated me as a man. To come from a shitty apartment to be

(23:45):
the first person in my family to buy a house and now it was all crashing down. Not because of my
doing but because of her. Her lying continued. Where the money was going, where she was going
and what she was doing while I was working. She lost a bunch of weight and started getting text
messages late at night and then I found a burner phone that I didn't know existed. She stopped

(24:07):
wearing her wedding rings and couldn't answer so many questions. Although she denies it to this day,
I know in my mind what she was doing. When you have been with someone for so long,
you just know when something is going on. She wouldn't sleep with me, kiss me or even hug me.
I knew at that time that our marriage was over. Despite all these things, I told myself that

(24:30):
I needed to stay for you and your brother. I did not want you to experience a divorce knowing
well how vindictive your mother can be. She showed it with everyone in her family who has
ever crossed her. After losing our house, I promised myself that I would never let this happen again.
I applied for a loan to pay off all her credit cards that I never knew about while removing her

(24:52):
from all of the bills. I spent the next two years saving money and trying to rebuild my credit
after having to completely remove your mother from any money source. Despite this, your mother
still found ways to spend money where she didn't need to. I would have to constantly tell her to
stop because I was trying to save money to buy another house, all the while fearing that she

(25:15):
was acquiring more credit cards and spending more money and not telling me. I knew I couldn't trust
her because she had proven that she has no problem lying to my face. When the opportunity to buy her
parents' house came up, I bought it thinking that this is what she and you kids would need.
As the loveless marriage continued, I tried and tried but was only treated like a paycheck.

(25:37):
I bought your mother season tickets to the Red Sox thinking this may spark her love again.
That proved to be the total opposite. All she cared about was those games.
Not even a thank you. It was like I owed it to her. She never appreciated one thing.
I have supported all of you for so long while you continue to learn no values, generating this

(26:00):
entitled attitude like everyone owes everything to you. Everything I stand against. I know your
mother would go against me, but I never thought you kids would go against me. I guess you both
were influenced by her way too much. If I was hard on you, it was because I wanted you to learn the
value of hard work and what it takes to get ahead in life. No one owes you anything. You owe it to

(26:24):
yourself. No one is going to knock on your door and give you a good job, a nice house, and a nice
car. If you want it, you have to go get it. The world is not sunshine and rainbows. It is a cruel
place that will knock you down and keep you down. The fact that you made a go fund me page and just
flat out lied saying I left you with nothing. That couldn't be further from the truth. Now you

(26:50):
are asking for free shit while refusing to work for what you want. And your mother is doing the
same thing. She says she can't work because of anxiety. I have anxiety every day I wake up.
And then she sent me a text that reads you say the free ride is over. No, the free ride has just
begun. These are the very lessons your mother taught you. I told your mother that I was leaving

(27:15):
and I wanted this to be cordial and that I would take care of you and your brother.
She decided to attack me every place she could and you and your brother followed suit. I am living
in a hotel room with nothing more than a bed and a shower. I get my meals from the complimentary
breakfast they serve every morning. I fill up Tupperware containers with eggs, bacon and pancakes

(27:39):
from the complimentary breakfast because that's all I can afford. I have nothing but the close
your mother throughout into the driveway after I worked my ass off my entire life. Spending nearly
10 years in the army being deployed to combat zones, sleeping on the ground in third world
shitholes to getting out and working in a warehouse to going through the police academy, working as a

(28:03):
police officer in one of the most dangerous cities in the country, all while trying to provide a life
for my family. And now you completely disregard everything I went through to give you a good life
and make me the bad guy. I thought you were better and smarter than that. Never once have you went
to bed cold, hungry or dirty. You don't know what that is like, but I do. I promised myself that I

(28:26):
would never allow you to experience the things I did. Never. It hurts me so much to see how you
attack me, not even acknowledging all I have done to provide for you. You never went one day without.
Not one. You always had what you needed and wanted and now you claim to be abused because I may have

(28:47):
been hard on you trying to prepare you for life's battles. Now I see this blog you have going that
makes it painfully obvious that you are experiencing mental health problems. It's no wonder why,
because you were never taught how to deal with life's stresses. You were never taught how to
overcome adversity while persevering. I cannot stress to you enough how much this bothers me.

(29:11):
I promise you that someday I will leave this earth and you will come to realize all the
sacrifices I made for you and you will never have the chance to thank me. I know what that feels like.
I left my house at 15 years old and because I thought my parents were deadbeats with all the
drinking. It took me to get older and experience the struggle myself to understand what they had

(29:34):
went through and by then it was too late. I was 22 when my mother died and 28 when my father died.
I wish every day that I could call my dad for advice but I can't. You will inevitably experience
that pain sooner rather than later. I will probably die alone with no one by my side and the only

(29:55):
thing that will bother me is that you and your brother will never know how I truly felt and why
I did what I did. I know you don't care how I feel and what happens to me and that's okay but I care
about you. I want you to get the help you need and maybe someday you can put yourself in my shoes
and understand why I did what I did. I am at the point right now where I'm ready to hand the keys

(30:20):
to the gym off, leave my job and disappear. It's too hard to live with the pain of seeing what my
life has materialized into. After all I have done to try to get ahead only to be shunned and shitton
by the very ones that I protected their entire lives. There are so many things I want to say to you
but just can't find the words. Part of me wants to stay the course and fight the fight but part

(30:44):
of me just doesn't have the energy to feel the hurt anymore. I'm sorry to you and your brother
and I wish you two the best of luck. Be good forever your father.
I wouldn't blame you for skipping through that rather than reading. I was massively overwhelmed
with the wall of text he sent me. I still am looking at it today. He felt as such a sad desperate

(31:08):
place here. So much so it began to fear this would be his last message before ending his life.
The sentiment seemed to imply sorrowful regret rather than fierce vengeance.
Almost like his flame was slowly burning out. However it's still reeked of emotional blackmail,
especially claiming I was the one needing help. There was so much to unpack, so much to engross.

(31:28):
I knew at this point nearly all the allegations he made were bullshit. How our house in Westfield
was sold was actually true. Still she never had a burner phone. She never cheated on him,
unlike him during the divorce process with the TikTok influencer mind you. Her unwillingness
to cook a good meal, do house chores and overall laziness were all verifiably false. She would
make chicken parmesan is all time favorite family meal whatever he wanted for fuck's sake.

(31:53):
After issues with both arrests, hips, thyroid and so many other things now she's just an
indolent savage? No. Fuck no. I will make note of a couple things he brought up. In early 2023 I
tried to start a personal blog talking about my thoughts on this tragedy I and my family went
through. I was also going to open up about things that bothered me most aside from him.

(32:15):
Motionally, socially, etc. Unfortunately while some of it consisted of good writing it became
yet another embarrassing moment for myself. I chose a couple things to write about that
shouldn't have seen the light of day. Some of which being about a mindless fling I had with
someone I talked to once or twice in high school. Desolation is not a fun affair and it shouldn't
have revealed itself the way it did in some of those writings. It honestly could have did myself

(32:39):
real damage if her boyfriend who I knew from school too saw what I wrote and was just the
right kind of fucked up about it to do something. Not to mention I also had someone constantly
bitching to me on Facebook about needing to have my shit proof read because he felt I didn't know
how to write. It was just a big clusterfuck I embarrassingly abandoned. Along with the blog
I had to come to a realization somebody others in need have. With a lack of money how are we going

(33:02):
to survive if his pompous ass is going to continue to make sure we were left empty? GoFundMe is a
platform for those in gruesome situations like ours to reach out for a helpful hand.
GoFundMe is for car accidents, houses burnt down, cancer patients and stuff like that.
Not emotional abuse. However regardless of the circumstances we were in need,

(33:24):
my mom had successfully got snap benefits and relief money from the state but still wasn't
nearly enough to survive on especially with the economy we had been living in. There was no time
to sit around contemplate and rationalize whether having the life sucked out of us as he seemed to
think we were doing to him for no justifiable reason was grounds for asking for help. We needed
it plain and simple. Plus this would also allow others in our family to see what was going on as

(33:48):
most were in the dark about who he was and what he was doing. After posting my story to GoFundMe I
managed to get so many people I went to school with as well as family to pitch in $1,025 total.
On top of that $863.93 that came within the first month. I was so elated to see so many people
supporting us. I still am. It truly showed me we had people on our side. Nonetheless at a time

(34:13):
where this money was fairly important to us I let my focus slip away. Part of it was trying to get
the blog established with the link design and other tools I needed to get it going,
only for it to cease operations after a month or so. What made me say goodbye to the newly
acquired funds was getting new insurance from my car, a car I gave up and now still have to pay for.
While part of me feels overly critical I also recognize the sheer misjudgment of priorities

(34:36):
I had even just a year ago. The blog wasn't something I truly needed to spend a ton of money on,
nearly $100 or so. My new insurance while it was no longer tied to my father didn't necessarily need
to happen when it did. It could have waited at least a bit. Part of me feels I let down those
who were so gracious enough to lend their hard earned cash to our cause. Then it all went away
to things which it didn't need to. Even though time can't turn back now I'm still remorseful to this

(35:01):
day. Let me go back to the email. Regardless of the inhumane acts he committed it was crushing to
see a man you knew for so long coming to the possibility of falling on his own sword. Chills
overcame me. Was he really at his end? However, deception still lied within much of the text.
Yet again I was standing at two doors. While there was a possibility of ignoring his plea once again,

(35:23):
what was I going to do about my phone getting turned back on? At this point I had contacted
T-Mobile and found I needed to have him release my phone line so I could pick it up. I was going
to have to face him one way or another. So I had to face adversity once more. I needed to dig in
my heels and prepare for a war. I never liked wars, but what the fuck was I going to do?

(35:43):
So I brushed off yet another missile and launched it at him. Names other than my father,
brother, and I will be redacted. If you were sorry, Dean, you wouldn't be acting the way you have
since you left. If you were sorry about what you've done to us, you'd be still here doing your best
to make things happen and fix what needs to be fixed. What you need to do is turn my phone back on,

(36:05):
transfer my phone number over to me, and stop with all this nonsense so I can move on with my life.
You knew very well in October what you were doing when you got us brand new phones. You knew very well
you would have full control over what you could do with that number. If you knew you were leaving us,
you wouldn't have got us phones in the first place. Before you even start again, someone at T-Mobile
told us nothing could be done with my phone until you lift the suspension on my phone line and release

(36:27):
it to me. Nothing could be done without your permission, so don't act as if we can magically
take care of this ourselves. You know you were ordered by probate court to pay the bills as they
are. You were also ordered not to threaten us. You know perfectly well you could do whatever you want
with me because I legally don't count in this. That's the loophole you see and want to use it
every chance you get because it's all you can do. But what does count is the stress and anxiety it

(36:49):
has put me on because I can't do anything I need to get myself and my family out of the whole
you created for us. How can I do anything between working and getting the necessary benefits I need
if I have no phone to be able to communicate those needs with? If you loved me as you desperately
claim you do, you wouldn't have suspended my phone in the first place. You think I'm stupid,
but I'm not the one who knowingly violates court orders because I can do whatever I want. I'm not

(37:13):
the one who continuously threatened the family he raised over the course of 24 years over text
message. I'm also not the one who knowingly hides information from his lawyer that is pertinent to
his case. I guarantee you haven't told her about Daniel's autism, ADHD and ODD as well as my autism.
Here's part of the documentation you could share with her. You could continue to live with the fact
you knew your own children weren't what you wanted them to be and you shamed them because of it.

(37:37):
Here I inserted pictures I took of my brother's diagnosis papers showing proof of his diagnosis
of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder, ODD and pervasive
developmental disorder not otherwise specified, PDD NLS, which is now merged into the autism spectrum.
I also inserted pictures I took of my intake papers at the place I first met Jim at.

(38:02):
You left us with nothing but the roof over our heads. That's different than nothing,
but yet you could say and do whatever you want to make yourself the hero in the end.
Like you escaped some hell you had to deal with. The truth is it's the hell you created.
Last I checked, heroes don't destroy other good Samaritans in the process. Heroes don't have
any ego or self-righteousness. They act for the betterment of all. You? You just want to shove

(38:25):
all your baggage out of the way and hide it because you know what you've become.
Put yourself in my shoes. Imagine being 24 years old and finding out your father never really loved
you and masked all his problems and who he is by telling you he loved you and not acting like
that is so. Then when you expose who your father really is, you're told you're the one with the
mental health issues but the one who caused it all and you need to seek help. Put yourself in Daniel's

(38:48):
shoes. Imagine being 18 years old almost out of high school and having to remind yourself every day
of some person that claims he loves you, cares for you, and wants you to be successful, never
wanted to put in the work to make that the truth. Put yourself in your soon to be ex-wife's shoes.
She thought through the past 30 years you really wanted nothing but the best for her and you wanted
to take on the world together with her. Instead, you just want to carry her along for a ride just

(39:11):
so you could push away any insecurities you had and deflect any blame for your problems onto her.
With your own family, you were always words and never actions. You paid the bills and kept the
roof over your head for yourself. We were just the victims of your agenda. Every time we came to
you with opportunities to bond with you and enjoy each other's company as a family, it was always
no. Everything was on your terms and only your terms. It's still that way now. Right now, you're

(39:35):
realizing you made a big mistake. Everything is crumbling around you and there is no faith in spirit
in you to allow all of this to end peacefully. Instead, we have to continue to be a victim of
your projections. You can't admit any guilt in anything you do, so you point at us as if we're
the problem. You continue to financially and emotionally threaten us and claim we're the
ones threatening you, while we haven't done anything to you since the divorce began. You keep

(39:59):
coming at me with this go fund me I did and this blog I've done, Decisions I Made for Myself. However,
you don't want to acknowledge you made the decision to leave our issues unfixed. I can't even function,
let alone try to keep myself and my family safe. My own mother struggles too and you can't even have
sympathy or empathy for what you've created. Why? Because you don't have any of that and it's showing.

(40:20):
You have anxiety yourself. That's anxiety you created. You continue to dig a deeper hole for
yourself and you want to drag us down with you. These are all decisions you made. If you had so
many issues with my mother in the past, why wait until now to deal with them? You chose this path
and only you. Please turn my phone back on and release my phone number to me. It's the least
you could do for the betterment of yourself, Daniel, my mother, and myself. One way or another,

(40:45):
all you have become will be revealed. It would be the best for you to make it easy on all of us,
myself, Daniel, my mother, her lawyer, your lawyer, and the probate court. Each action you take to
attempt to save yourself just drags us all down in the end. It's over. Just admit what you did
and save us all the trauma and suffering, including yourself. Please turn my phone back on and release

(41:07):
my phone number to me. I would have thought this would stop the madness, but of course it wouldn't.
Nothing ever stops. That's one painful thing we've learned about him nowadays.
You are so mixed up. You have no idea of the realities of life. You have this sense of entitlement

(41:28):
that I'm sure was instilled from your mother. You are a 24-year-old man. You are not a child.
I have always loved you and wanted the best for you, but your mother has taught you to use this
crutch that you're different. You are no different. Time to start acting like AMAN and learn
responsibilities and do what you have to do to make things happen. I gave you enough notice to

(41:53):
change your phone over in your name. You still own me for all the repairs done to your car and
even have the balls to have me fix your alternator in your car and not even a thank you. If I didn't
care about you, I wouldn't have even helped you. Say what you want, but in time you will realize
the reality. You have until Friday to change the phone over and then I am suspended the line forever.

(42:18):
If I don't pay my bills, they shut them off. Don't pay yours and you will be shut off.
Time to be a man and take responsibility. Your mother abused me for too long. I was only a
paycheck to her. When I told her I was leaving, I told her I wanted this to be cordial and I would
do everything to ensure she would be taken care of. Instead, she chose to attack me and turn you

(42:42):
kids against me. I never left you. I left her. Her true colors have shown. If she truly loved me,
she would have understood why I did what I did and would say the right things.
Instead, she completely came at me and turned everyone she knows against me to try to make
me look like the bad guy. You post this, go fund me. Page up on Facebook and my phone immediately

(43:08):
blows up with people expressing how you are so entitled that you think at 24 years old that it
is my job to support you and pay all your bills. There are 18 year olds who enlist in the military
and deployed to combat zones and you think you have it so bad. You never wanted to listen to me.
Well, you're going to learn the harsh reality of life. By me showing you tough love will develop

(43:32):
you into the man you need to be to survive in this world. Like I said, you have until Friday
to change the line over into your name. One thing I couldn't get over was the fact he
claimed I told him to fix the alternator on my car when in fact I told him not to do it and I would
figure something out on my own. Yet his ass still showed and did it for me anyways, then proceeded

(43:54):
to point the finger at me. Here, while being forced to handle the duality of my soul being drained
and the captivity of my phone, I found myself entering a new strategy, one which I never
wanted to explore in the first place. Clearly, he was demonstrating a robotic-like devotion of
getting the last word. He had always been that way. No one was getting to the end before he did,

(44:14):
so I decided I'm matching the intensity. I was so beaten by it all, but something had to stop him.
Finality needed to take its course for us to all move forward, so just like Buddy the Elf did,
when he helped Michael fight off those punk kids and elf, I continued to machine fire defend
whatever nonsense he had the audacity to spew. Advice? Take advice from someone who can't

(44:37):
even address their own problems. Your advice is what led to where I am right now, in the basement
with no money or anything to my name other than a car. I also find it funny all the times you
encouraged me to be at home and never wanted me to move out and be on my own. Especially the times
you insisted my living situation in the basement of the past two houses would be exactly how you
wanted. Not once did you ever encourage me to prosper on my own. You know damn well I was retarded

(45:02):
as you would put it, and I would be like the rest of the retards living at home in my parents'
basement. Every ounce of advice required your control and never aided my own effort to start my own
life. Another life lesson I've learned is that I do have a diagnosed condition that is irreversible.
Do you honestly think I love telling people what I have? Then again how would you know? It's not
like you ever wanted to know anything like that anyways. You were too busy focusing on your public

(45:25):
image that grossly misrepresent who you really are. Did you ever think you would have a diagnosed
condition that needed to be treated? Oh yeah I forgot that they just get paid to tell you what
they want to tell you. That's advice I learned from you. I also remember you should always have
something looked at when it's absolutely necessary and not frequently assessed to ensure nothing is
wrong before it goes wrong. That is advice I learned from you. If I disclose not only my diagnosis

(45:48):
but also how it directly affects me, my life would not be what it has been since high school.
You never wanted that. You keep going all you want. You keep spewing all the lies, deception,
and manipulation all you want. I am learning who my mother really is and I'm learning who my father
really is. My mother appreciates me for who I am. She never forces me to hide my true identity to
people. She never forced me into making decisions she wanted me to make. I have to say at the end

(46:13):
of the day I've learned she always seeks the truth and nothing but the truth as I do. Then again how
would she have ever known the truth if all she ever heard in 28 years of marriage was lies, deception,
and manipulation? She's loving, compassionate, caring, respectful, and would never leave me out
to dry unlike the person she was married to for 28 years. That person never once asked me what I
wanted to do with my life. That person never sought me if he was having issues or wanted to have any

(46:37):
relationship with me. My entire existence from birth until you left was what you wanted it to be,
not me. Daniel doesn't even know who raised him. All he knows you as is someone who repeatedly
threatened to beat him when he didn't know what you wanted him to do and bought him nice things,
as he says, to make up for the disgusting things you did to him. Don't even deny it. You know
about punching a hole in his door when he lived in Westfield and having to cover it up with a boaster.

(47:01):
Why? Because he wouldn't let you in his room because he knew what was coming but didn't know why.
Ask Daniel because he sure as hell will remember that. I do. My mother does too. All I remember from
you was the times when you would come to the bathroom when I was taking a shower and you would
stick your hand through the shower curtain to touch me because it was comical to you. I would tell
you I was going to call the authorities because I didn't like it and all you could do was scoff at

(47:23):
it because you falsely believed inappropriately touching your teenage son was fine because he was
your child. That's what child molesters do. Imagine the kids in your gym knowing that,
let alone their parents. It's very sad they don't know who they're exposing their kids to and it's
very sad you would expose them to who you are in the first place. Everyone is just a pawn in your
scheme, even your own family. You keep ranting on about the repairs I needed for my car,

(47:48):
especially the alternator, which I never asked you to fix. I spoke to you on the phone, not by
choice, but because you found out we were asking s***, brother s***, for help at his shop to fix the
problem. You didn't want anyone knowing what you were doing to your family, not even a great guy who
would take the shirt off his back for anyone. No, I'm not talking about you. I specifically told

(48:10):
you I didn't want you to fix that alternator, but you insisted because you knew what would happen if
they found out the real truth. Now you want to spit it on me and tell me I had the balls to ask
you something I never asked you to do. Why would I ask you to fix it after all you put us through?
What sense does that make? Then again, how would you know? You can't even admit what you really did.
You know damn well what you were doing from the minute we all moved into our house in June.

(48:34):
S*** sucked you into a destructive hole, making you cling to anything you could just to hide who
you really are. She single-handedly destroyed a marriage and a family, all while she could
tout to her audience how she escaped a narcissistic relationship. That's how twisted your reality is.
You believe you were the victim of a narcissistic relationship, but really you're the narcissist
in the relationship. I knew what you did that night, November 12th, 2022. You told me it's

(49:00):
going to be a long night, and you came home 30 minutes after you called me, when you had at
least 90 minutes to come home. You sat in your truck for over two hours doing whatever you were
doing on your phone, probably talking to s***. I left you alone because I didn't want to interrupt
what I thought was another ranting session between you and my mother. Then my mom asked you about it,
and all you could say is he doesn't know what he's talking about. Guess what? Maybe I do,

(49:25):
because I know the average human being doesn't sit in their truck for over two hours.
Even then, you can't be honest. Honesty was your policy, but only when it benefited you.
Sure, 18-year-olds enlist to serve our country with honor and dignity. However, most of the
time it is by their choice. Others are forced by parents that treat their kids like you did.
Give them no choice. On top of that, when these 18-year-olds choose to serve, most are proud of

(49:50):
what they did and the choice they made. Are you proud of what you did? Just standing at military
posts and watching everyone else battle to keep our country safe? You told me yourself what you
did. You never stepped on a battlefield, ever. On top of that, you act all tough when people
thanked you for your service. It wasn't just because you knew you didn't do anything when Barrett,
it was because you had nothing else to do. You told me when you left high school it was the only

(50:13):
choice you had. So you're not quite one to be bringing up 18-year-olds in combat. The only
combat zone you know is the one you created over the past 30 years of your life. You can keep attempting
to tarnish my life as well as my mom and brother's life all you want, but all you're doing is tarnishing
your own life. You think our life is sunshine and rainbows. Look at yourself. You're about to turn

(50:33):
in the keys to the gym, quit my job, and disappear. Where are you? Are you still taking Tupperware
amounts of food from the others in the hotel who needed to? Is Dunkin' Donuts making your coffee?
Is housekeeping making your bed for you? Is the cleaner doing the laundry for you?
That doesn't sound like a terrible life to me. If it really is that terrible, you would have never
brought all of this on and you'd be doing everything you could just to make things happen.

(50:56):
You never did that. You just did what you had to do to survive. We just so happened to be along
for the destructive ride. You're losing everything you built and it hurts you. It pains you to think
someone can expose who you really are, so you keep pushing your agenda because you blindly insist on
it being the truth. You can't see your life any other way. You keep trying to dig a deeper hole
just because you think it will get you out. Those who do good get good, and those who do bad get bad.

(51:21):
It's that simple. The sooner you understand that, the better this will be for you.
You have the choice to do what you needed to do to repair the relationship you had with your family,
especially your wife of 28 years. Now, not only did your wife and kids expose you for who you are,
now everyone else is figuring it out. Then, when you could give up the fight and admit the mistakes
you made, you continued to berate myself, my mother, and my brother. You shut off my phone to prove a

(51:45):
point. What point? That you want to mess with whoever you can because you're not getting the
attention you got before? So I'm collateral damage now? You also want to lead your own lawyer down
your path of deception and lies. I guarantee you have not told her the whole story about myself
and Daniel. Even then, she would still defend you. You tell me I have mental health issues when you
probably have the mental health issues yourself you don't want to address. Instead, you find the

(52:08):
next scapegoat to dump your problems onto. You continue to repeat the same accusations over and
over again, expecting them to magically disappear and be rectified. Whatever happened to the guy who
went to work and ran into a burning building to save a child from imminent death? I won't forget
that. Even worse, I have to live the rest of my life questioning whether that was with the best of
intentions or just to boost his ego. I wonder what that person thinks now? That person is going about

(52:33):
their life now because the one who saved there has merely did it just to benefit himself.
I have taken my phone and opened a new account for myself. You need to leave myself,
my mother, and my brother alone. Not just now, but forever. You have no reason to be doing what
you're doing, even to myself. Just know I will do whatever it takes to ensure my family is safe.
Honestly, I could care less what happens to you. It's sad. It really is. Sadly, you're right.

(52:58):
You will die alone because no one will ever be so stupid to buy all the stories you sell.
If they do, they're just as twisted and demented as you are. That's not feelings. That's fact.
You chose this outcome for yourself. Slowly, people are finding out who you are. Every attempt
you make to ruin our lives only ruins yours even more. You tell us we need to be cordial,

(53:18):
but you continue to send threatening texts to myself, my mother, and Daniel. You told us to
stop harassing you, but you shut my phone off because it's all you could do without immediate
repercussion. Everything you do still adds to who you really are, which will all come out by the
time this divorce is over. From this day forward, you need to leave us all alone. You need to be
cordial, not just for us, but for my mom's lawyer, your lawyer, and the probate court.

(53:44):
These four people have to deal with all you are, and they have better things to do than to succumb
themselves to your false agenda. Stop the repetitive nonsense and cooperate because the more lies you
spew, the harder it is for everyone who has to deal with you. You reap what you sow. That's the
lesson you're learning. You'll disappear, but when you do leave this earth, I'll at least know
where you're going. Leave us alone and cooperate. I began to create my own mantra,

(54:10):
leave us alone and cooperate. I had to drive that point home for fuck's sake, leave us alone.
This isn't getting better. Just fucking shut up and leave us alone. But no, he had to keep going
on and on. Upcoming is something hysterical which had me dying and laughing even today.
You are the most confused person I have ever heard in my entire life. You attack me with

(54:35):
utter and complete nonsense. You even attack my military service. I've never been in combat.
A year on the DMZ in Korea and 10 months in Bosnia is in combat. You are completely brainwashed by
your mother. She continues to hold you down with your so-called diagnosis, which happens to be the

(54:55):
same diagnosis as some of the most successful people in the world. Albert Einstein, Elon Musk,
Bill Gates, and so on. Yeah, that's a real diagnosis. It's a goddamn gift and your mother
believes that if she continues to keep you down, you can support her because she doesn't want to work.
And for you to even suggest some sort of sexual misconduct is so fucking far-fetched,

(55:18):
you're just spewing out complete and utter nonsense. I can't even believe that this is what
you turned into. All the shit I did for you, driving you all the way to Delaware for NASCAR
and I don't even like it. Taking you to the Celtics, all the shit I bought you to try to get you to
get you to follow your so-called dreams in radio. You truly are completely brainwashed. Pain for

(55:45):
your car because you didn't have any money. Your little flying adventure when you wanted to be a
pilot. Wanting you room painted a different way and I did it. I tried everything to motivate you
so you would be successful in life, but I guess you will always live with your mother. Because
that's what she wants. I gave you and your brother whatever the fuck you wanted. I never laid a hand

(56:09):
on either of you and treated you all like gold, never letting you experience true hardship.
I never once threatened anyone. Take your phone and continue with your life and fuck me. Someday
you'll realize. In my previous email I had pointed out to him, what he admitted to me in his own
words, he did not serve in actual combat. Yet he responds back, I've never been in combat.

(56:35):
Dumbass, I just told you that. I don't know, I couldn't hold back laughter. I just, I couldn't.
However, joking aside, it seemed his emotional twister was only getting more and more intense.
Not to mention the sole fact he had always vowed for me to never utilize my diagnosis as a crutch
to get jobs, scholarships, etc. But now it was a gift. His inconsistencies while painstaking

(56:58):
and irritating just continued to unravel how jaded he was. Lies were becoming lies and I couldn't
compute that. They still can't. Panic was becoming an understatement for him. He was witnessing his
own downfall and rather than reaching back for help, he was just thrusting himself even further down
his credulous pitiful hole. And I responded, confused. I nearly proved everything I just said

(57:21):
to you. You can't even comprehend what you're saying to me. You confirmed to me you never faced
combat. You confirmed to me I do have a gift which you told me all my life never to disclose.
Does your lawyer know about it? If it was such a gift, I would think you would let her know what
a gift I have. You claim it to be a gift when you're called down on what you thought of in the past.

(57:43):
Why? Because it benefits you. Well, guess what? That gift is playing out right in front of you
and you're so demented and jaded you can't even see it. Everything is your mother. That's all it
ever is. For all the times you mentioned my mother, maybe it never occurred to you you're so jealous
she doesn't have a master plan to live by and that's why you keep mentioning her. All you ever
did was compete with her because you wanted to be better than her and you knew you never could be.

(58:07):
Sure, she's your scapegoat, but you know what? My mother now can do what she wants to do with her
life. Now she can go to school and be what she wants to be. She was going to work in the computer
science field, but she then realized everything you did to her and how she could be a light in
others' darkness created by people like you. So years down the road, she can counsel people who
went through the same things you put her through while you're either out in the wilderness or dead.

(58:29):
You tell me about all these things you did for me? Why? Because you loved me? What about the time
I took you to Hampton Beach for your birthday six years ago? Is this the thanks I get? Are you going
to tell me that's a lie too? What about the t-shirts I bought you for Father's Day this past year?
Does that mean anything to you? Clearly it doesn't based on how you've treated me. If you really
loved me, you wouldn't be treating me as you are right now. Instead, I hurt your agenda. See, that's

(58:54):
how you view people, family or not. Did that ever occur to you? Maybe people's wishes and desires
change? People do change. Maybe radio wasn't for me. Then again, I did want to go to Philly State
University for music-related study. That wasn't good enough for you, so I couldn't do that.
Your reality is so warped you thought I wanted to be a pilot. Maybe I wanted something to do in

(59:15):
school. Not all the kids in your boxing program want to be boxers. Oh yeah, that's right. They're
D-team because they don't want to apply themselves, right? That makes them terrible, right? Sadly,
I know your answer to that. You are right. You did give myself, my mother and Dana whatever we
wanted just so it would keep us quiet while you continue on with your life master plan. Your plan
has been veered so far off course you will even expose the truth through your own lies. That's

(59:40):
how sad this has become. You keep spinning through the same destructive cycle ending with your mother
because you can't even entertain a second to see someone else's perspective on the situation.
If you want to keep going on and on, that's your choice. It's odd to think the same person who
doesn't have the energy to feel the hurt anymore will continue to take on more and more hurt.
It's odd to think the same person who just can't find the words will continue to produce paragraph

(01:00:03):
after paragraph of the same washed out, unoriginal nonsense because they can't just cooperate and
allow for a smooth process. These are just more of the lies you've ingrained within you which
you continuously fight to the bitter end to protect. If you genuinely care about myself,
my mother and Daniel, you would stop now and leave us alone as I requested. Leave us alone and cooperate.

(01:00:26):
From here I was planning for the escapade to endure for eons. I had no brain functionality
to tell me when it was time to stop. I was full send into whatever it took to A get
him to release my phone over to me as he both needed to do and wanted to do himself,
and most importantly be get him to shut the fuck up and leave us alone once and for all.
Again, this is the same idiot who wanted us to leave him alone and his divorce complaint he filed.

(01:00:50):
But to my shock and awe, there was dead silence on the battlefield. No return fire in sight.
I finally shut him up. I couldn't believe it, but most importantly I was very much relieved.
I really knew going further would only drag my emotional well-being down with his. However,
it's as I said earlier, desperate times call for desperate measures. It cannot be any more

(01:01:11):
truthful. Those in battle don't have time to rest. They may be exhausted, but rest only leads to
livelihoods lost. That's the mentality I needed to be in. When he left our home, I knew I had to
unofficially become the man of the household. I couldn't just sit back and watch what was left
of my family being mangled apart at the seams. I had begun to subscribe to that method due to the
fatigue induced by the weight of all accusations charged against us. But what was sitting back

(01:01:36):
going to get us? It's why I mainly tried to direct the responses my mom would make to him,
even though most importantly, she always had the final say. While I sometimes lacked the ability
to take a step back and allow others to operate on their own volition, I was so deathly afraid of
us stepping on a landmine or taking a bullet missed forever away, sending ourselves into a place we
never deserved to be. Frozen solid, removed from the grid, communicatively shut down, psychologically

(01:02:01):
broken down, financially absent, then finding a new place to live. All were on the table.
We were living our lives as best we could without him, and we deserved homelessness all because of
incongruous accusations.

(01:02:41):
Thank you.