"Sorry for Your Loss": A Grief Coach's Guide to the Conversations That Support Someone Who Is Grieving

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Death is the one certainty we all share, yet most of us are terrible at talking about it. Whether it's supporting a grieving friend, having end-of-life conversations with family, or processing our own mortality, we stumble through these moments with stock phrases and uncomfortable silences.

In this episode, we're joined by Kate Nolan-Burgess, a grief and identity coach who helps people navigate the many forms grief can take - from bereavement to major life transitions. Kate brings a unique cultural perspective, having grown up in Poland, where death felt woven into everyday life, before moving to the UK, where arguably it's hidden behind euphemisms and avoidance.

We explore why Western culture has made grief harder than it needs to be, what other cultures can teach us about death and mourning, and practical advice for having better conversations around loss. Kate shares insights from her Master's in Death, Religion and Culture, as well as from her work supporting people through The Lost Self Club.

From understanding why we use euphemisms like 'passed away' to learning what NOT to say to someone who's grieving, this episode provides essential skills for one of life's most challenging conversations.

What You'll Learn:

• Why there's no "right way" to grieve and how cultural rituals can help
• The harmful phrases that make grief harder (and what to say instead)
• How to support someone who's grieving without managing their emotions
• Why euphemisms for death reveal our cultural discomfort
• The concept of "Swedish Death Cleaning" and preparing for mortality
• How to talk to children about death honestly and clearly
• Practical phrases for acknowledging grief and loss
• The difference between grief support in individualistic vs. community cultures

This Episode is For You if you want to better support friends, family, or colleagues through loss, struggle with what to say when someone is grieving, are interested in cultural approaches to death and mourning, want to have more honest conversations about mortality, are supporting someone through a major life transition, work in healthcare, counselling, or people management, or are curious about death-positive approaches to end-of-life conversations.

Guest Bio: Kate Nolan-Burgess is a grief and identity coach who helps people navigate loss in all its forms. She holds a Master's in Death, Religion and Culture and founded The Lost Self Club, supporting new mothers through identity transitions. Drawing on a culturally diverse background and lived experience, her work centres on helping people understand that grief isn't a problem to solve but a natural human experience to honour.

Resources Mentioned:

• The Lost Self Club (Kate's programme for new mothers)
• Swedish Death Cleaning concept
• Polish cultural mourning practices
• The problematic "five stages of grief" model

Connect with Kate:

• Instagram: @TheLostSelfClub
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-nolan-burgess/; 
• Website: www.thelostselfclub.com