Episode Transcript
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Uncle Dolemite (00:01):
In dealing with
daily life, we come across two
types of people who seek tochange lives Hustlers, who are
about making it in life nomatter what, and the healers,
who dedicate their time andenergy to helping the collective
.
These are their representatives.
Styles (00:16):
I know what you thought
you was going to hear.
Blsd Jess (00:18):
But this ain't that
when the grind meets growth this
is Hustle Heal, all right Deal.
Styles (00:29):
Microphone check
Microphone check Checker All
right Ready.
Blsd Jess (00:35):
Yes, yes, it's out of
my system now.
Styles (00:38):
I'm done being goofy.
Blsd Jess (00:39):
No more war we all,
whatever we good.
Styles (00:42):
All right, cool, we good
, let's go.
So listen, I'm here with mybestie, my sis.
Bless Jess, you remember herfrom that Live happy hour.
Live happy hour, brunch hour.
Yes, ma'am, all of that.
Welcome to our first episode ofHustle Heal, where we talk
(01:03):
about everything.
That's a lie.
We don't talk about everything.
We talk about hustling from anurban perspective and healing
from an urban perspective.
However, I'm not a professionalat this.
She is Alright, so she getspaid to heal people.
Blsd Jess (01:21):
She doesn't
necessarily put hands on them.
He's a professional hustler, sowe ain't gonna shortchange that
either.
He's a professional hustler, sowe ain't going to shortchange
that either.
So we got the hustler, we gotthe healer.
Styles (01:27):
They're going to be like
where the money at?
I'm like still working on thatit's the hustle.
Blsd Jess (01:32):
That's the hustle
part.
Styles (01:33):
So the genius behind
this is this I don't have the
bread right, but we are going toshare ideas and figure out how
to get to the bag, Not theimaginary bag, but a bag that
you know, I guess the communitycontributed to, as opposed to
you know, I'm on here flashing,cat flashing, use your words.
(01:54):
Stass the hottie totty.
He's blaming me.
Nah, it is, it is.
It is.
I'm starting to slow down too,when we out here just getting
money together.
So, whether it's stocks,whether it's print on demand,
whether it's babysitting, Idon't give a fuck what it is.
Our goal here is to share theideas and help us get to a bag.
(02:18):
It's not just helping you orhelping me get to a bag, it's
helping us get to a bag.
So let's do it, Go ahead.
Blsd Jess (02:24):
Let me also say I'm
going to add on to that.
All right, go ahead.
So everything we do should notjust be financially based.
How I'm going to come with it,I want to help y'all maintain
your energy and your sense ofstability, your time.
The bag is a lot of thingscombined for you to be able to
sustain it too.
(02:44):
So, like the bag is a lot ofthings combined for you to be
able to sustain it too, so it'sone thing to get it.
Styles (02:50):
I'm gonna be the one to
try to help you keep it so.
Blsd Jess (02:51):
Oh yeah, my toes hurt
we gonna hustle in the hill
like that's how we gonna now Imean, that's how we gonna
sustain this thing, that's howwe gonna keep it, keep it thing.
Barbie (03:04):
That's how we're going
to keep it circulating, Because
it's one thing to get it butwhat's the thing?
Blsd Jess (03:08):
they tell you to stay
up.
It's easy to get up, but it'shard to stay there.
Styles (03:11):
Pause.
A bunch of pauses in that one.
Blsd Jess (03:13):
We're just going to
leave it there.
Styles (03:15):
What the fuck are you
talking?
Blsd Jess (03:16):
about?
We're probably talking aboutpausing this month?
Styles (03:19):
We probably are.
You want to get up?
Stay hard, maintain consistency.
What the fuck are we talkingabout right now?
Blsd Jess (03:28):
So first thing we're
talking about, I'm going to take
this one.
I was happily married and thisain't got nothing to do with me.
So a recent dating mishap rightso recently for the Tyson fight
what's the white man he fought?
I don't know.
Styles (03:43):
I don't know.
Blsd Jess (03:43):
Right.
Barbie (03:44):
So right so.
Blsd Jess (03:45):
Tyson was fighting
the most important person in
this fight.
So I got asked on a date.
I met this guy on Facebookdating and our first date was to
go to Buffalo Wild Wings andwatch the fight.
I wasn't really caring aboutwhere we went, I ain't one of
them but it was just a chance toget to know him in a public
place.
So got out there and a lot ofpeople that know me y'all know
(04:08):
I'm loud, I'm outspoken and thismotherfucker was a little bit
more extra than me and it wasvery unattractive to me.
As physically attractive as hewas, as much as he had going for
himself, it was just not my cupof tea.
He was not my cup of tea andwas not my cup of tea.
And it was a turn off that hewas so belligerent and so extra
(04:31):
and I don't like when men areextra in any type of way.
Not that y'all gotta beconservative all the time, but I
could tell that was his normalwhen he's out in public or
sipping or drinking.
I just was turned off by it.
And when he dropped me off homehe was very gentlemanly, he was
very chivalrous, opened.
I just was turned off by it.
And when he dropped me off home.
He was very gentlemanly, he wasvery chivalrous, opened my door
, walked me to the house and allof that.
That motherfucker never heardfrom me again.
(04:52):
So let me ask you a questionreal quick.
Styles (04:54):
Yes, what the fuck was
he wearing?
He had on the.
Blsd Jess (05:01):
Oh no, he was fly.
Styles (05:02):
Oh, so he didn't have
the denim spandex on.
Blsd Jess (05:05):
No, what the fuck is
that?
Who you seen that on?
Styles (05:07):
The skinny jeans?
Blsd Jess (05:08):
No, Alright, I'm just
checking Like from outside
looking in this motherfucker wasfine, he had money, nice car,
good job.
Styles (05:16):
Why did we mention money
?
That's his money.
Blsd Jess (05:19):
Right, but don't
nobody want to go out with no
broke?
Why Don't nobody want to go outwith no broke?
Why?
Broke Broke because there's apossibility that it's going to
affect my money.
Styles (05:26):
I was about to say that,
yeah, so he invited you out,
obviously.
Blsd Jess (05:30):
Yeah, okay so.
Styles (05:32):
She said it's going to
affect my money.
Blsd Jess (05:34):
We can't have that.
I'm a mother of two.
Barbie (05:38):
So it can't affect my
money.
Blsd Jess (05:39):
But I just felt like
it didn't really give me a sense
of hope going forward Like thatwas probably like one of many
guys that I just entertained orjust was going to show interest
in.
But after that date it was likeDid you block him?
Hey, I have a contact in myphone.
It's called Shoulda CouldaWouldas and when you don't make
(06:02):
it you get placed in thatcontact.
That's the forever bench.
It's the forever bench Got youand it's blocked automatically.
That contact is blocked, sowhen you add a number to it, you
are automatically blocked.
Barbie (06:13):
Let me see.
Blsd Jess (06:16):
Hey, look, don't go.
Hey look, don't be havingmotherfuckers in my DMs like
bitch.
That's why you ain't picking myphone.
Call up.
Yes, mr Nigga.
Styles (06:24):
Mr Nigga, mr Nigga.
Blsd Jess (06:25):
Jesus Christ, let me
see.
Styles (06:27):
Two, four, six Yo, if
you seen these names these names
shoulda, coulda, woulda isactually a better name than what
they got.
Blsd Jess (06:35):
Yeah, I don't be
lying on them.
But yeah, I don't want to wastetime anymore and I feel like
online dating is an easy way todo that for people.
So, you go right to the bend.
Styles (06:50):
Well, I mean, listen,
I'm married, I'm in a lot of
things right now, right here,with this, right here.
It don't even come off.
But how you call it, I thinkthat's exactly what it is, I
feel like, as far as, like menare concerned, in digital dating
.
I feel bad for y'all.
Barbie (07:12):
I feel, bad for me too.
Styles (07:13):
No, I'm not even talking
about y'all, I'm talking about
us.
Men I feel bad for the dudesyeah.
I feel bad for the dudesbecause in person it's like
instant gratification.
You understand what I'm saying.
When we part ways, I understandwhere we stand.
Okay, online it's a text threadthat's going to.
Blsd Jess (07:32):
It's going to take a
text thread rather for me to
figure it out With online dating, though y'all determine how
long this text thread go.
Styles (07:39):
No, we don't.
Blsd Jess (07:40):
Yes, y'all do,
because I feel like a lot of
times women are waiting on y'allto make the first move, like
motherfucker.
Just say you want to go on adate.
Styles (07:47):
Yo, y'all are so full of
shit.
Because what happens is I feellike y'all out here fishing for
content.
Blsd Jess (07:53):
Man, it ain't no.
Y'all Don't come to me wastingmy time.
I ain't even on nothing, nomore.
I've deleted everything becausethat shit is just whatever, but
whatever.
But um, I really feel like we'rewaiting on y'all to to be the
pursuer, you know.
I mean, it's like women.
I don't think that's ournatural role.
I don't mind hollering atnobody, though, but for that to
(08:13):
be the case all the time.
Don't women want to always dothat?
We're waiting on men to hey, Ithink you're nice, I want to get
to know you a little bit more.
That's how we know you ain'tplaying like if you just in the
dms you playing, and what areyou doing to get to know you a
little bit more?
That's how we know you ain'tplaying Like if you just in the
DMs you playing.
Styles (08:28):
What are you doing to
get out of it?
Okay, but this is my thing,though, one you can't really
determine if the person is weirdthat's a new term, right Weird.
Blsd Jess (08:35):
You're just being
weird.
That shit is old and it's beingbrought back to the forefront,
Is it though?
Styles (08:40):
Weird n.
I never use weird, though Maybeit's because it's being
overused right now.
I think it's just weird, weirdand goofy Goofy.
I can't stand coming out of agrown person's mouth.
You know what I mean.
The moment a grown person saysgoofy, I'm already like.
Blsd Jess (08:56):
If the word is
applicable, though, and you like
.
Styles (08:58):
Nah, that's shit.
No, the shit still.
What other words, what othersynonym?
What For goofy S?
Blsd Jess (09:01):
what other synonym
for goofy Silly who?
Styles (09:04):
does that?
Barbie (09:06):
And mature.
Styles (09:07):
You gotta get out of the
white lane and slide over to
melanin.
Blsd Jess (09:10):
Please give me a
nigga word for goofy.
I don't know.
You said the nigga word yes forgoofy, I don't know.
Clown.
Styles (09:15):
For goofy though.
Blsd Jess (09:17):
That hurts your
feelings.
You see the impact of it.
That's why we use it.
Barbie (09:20):
No.
Blsd Jess (09:20):
It's your goofy ass
Like the G on.
It is hard All right, it's yourgoofy ass.
Styles (09:27):
All right, fuck it,
since you put it that way.
Blsd Jess (09:29):
It drives it home.
Styles (09:30):
But I heard a lot of
people with squeaky voices say
goofy, and the shit makes myskin crawl.
Blsd Jess (09:33):
Okay, that's
different.
Styles (09:35):
Say it.
Blsd Jess (09:35):
I have a husky one,
and that motherfucker drives it
home.
Your goofy ass.
Styles (09:46):
Like, don't ever do that
again, alright, because I
closed my eyes, I'm going topunch you in the face, so we got
sipping.
Blsd Jess (09:50):
I made us some tea,
because we here up in the
northeast and I flew in from thesouth and I'm trying to make
sure that I don't take no, no,germs or nothing back home.
So we sipping some hot toddyright now.
So y'all bear with us, we'regoing to get through this.
So just navigating safetyconcerns and authenticity.
So nothing back home.
So we sipping some hot toddyright now.
So y'all bear with it, we'regonna get through this.
So just navigating safetyconcerns and authenticity.
So not giving out too muchpersonal information up front.
Styles (10:12):
Is that how you do it?
Blsd Jess (10:14):
I mean sometimes you
have to, not not, you ain't
giving out your social, youain't giving out the kids names
and your mama and like it'scertain shit that you you put
out to get to know somebody, andthey'll eventually, as they
show interest, they'll askquestions, they'll show you that
they kind of want to know, butjust up front, putting it on
your profile um, I don't evenunderstand.
Styles (10:37):
I wouldn't even know how
to make a fucking profile.
To be honest, it is crazy.
Blsd Jess (10:41):
I'm happy for you.
Yeah, stay.
Styles (10:43):
Yeah, I'm the guy that's
like on the line fucking
Walmart or something like thatand having a casual conversation
and you know, feelings getinvolved, feeling.
Blsd Jess (10:54):
But I I know that's
coming, but I would rather meet
somebody in person, just becauseyou can get a vibe.
Motherfuckers can fake whoeverthey want to be online about.
Motherfuckers can fake whoeverthey want to be online.
They can portray, perpetrate,punk, fake.
They can do all that and I feellike that's why they stay in
the DMs, because they know theycan't convert it in person.
Styles (11:13):
They know they can't.
That's funny that you justturned this into sales Need it,
need to convert it.
Blsd Jess (11:20):
Look, I'm just saying
you're just saying that you get
the weird shit out the way youcan tell if you like somebody's
presence or not.
If they breath right, you canlook at their fingernails.
From what?
From a picture?
No, from meeting somebody inperson rather than online.
Styles (11:34):
Yeah, 100% so you can
kind of speak the vibe 100%,
because it's a different type ofvibe.
Absolutely, you get what I'msaying With all these filters.
Blsd Jess (11:46):
Y'all made that
popular.
Styles (11:47):
Snapchat made that
popular.
Blsd Jess (11:48):
Y'all made that
popular Damn it chat.
Gpt is popular right now.
Styles (11:51):
Ain't nobody fucking
going?
It most certainly is.
Blsd Jess (11:53):
And motherfuckers is
using filters in your emails,
and your mother.
That's a filter too.
God damn it.
And your text.
And that's a filter too.
Goddammit, why y'all wearingthat Shit?
I think I called out of workthe other day and your resumes?
Yeah, I called out of work theother day and used ChatGBT and
look block your employer fromthe motherfucking beat.
Styles (12:14):
Hold that Damn what I
won't be coming into that what?
Blsd Jess (12:18):
Okay, so online
dating is now the most common
way people meet, but is itbetter than traditional dating?
Absolutely not, I agree.
Styles (12:25):
Absolutely not,
absolutely not.
In fact, it's making y'all abunch of goofies and weirdos.
That's what he's doing again.
Go ahead.
It's making y'all a bunch of.
Blsd Jess (12:34):
Goofy ass.
Styles (12:36):
Weirdos, you know what I
mean, but people lie, in person
too, they do.
Blsd Jess (12:39):
But at least you get
to get a vibe off a person when
you're in their presence.
Styles (12:45):
Exactly, not only the
vibe, but there's a lot of
different things.
So if you're a professionalliar, you will maintain eye
contact, but if you don't knowhow to fucking lie, you won't
have that fucking biggie eye.
She's going to go this way.
This other one's going to beright here, you know what I mean
.
And then he's going to pick upon it, pick up on it, pick up on
it.
Like that shit sound good, butthat's not it.
Blsd Jess (13:04):
You don't give me no
more jokes to use outsiders.
Nigga, nigga, Nigga.
Styles (13:08):
Yeah, shit floating in
the back of your head.
Like nah this nigga lying, youare lying.
Blsd Jess (13:18):
Why the fuck you
lying?
Okay so, but I really dobelieve people can be weird in
person too, but at least you getto gauge it and make a decision
right then, Like, I don't likethis person 100%, but online
motherfuckers are dragging onand then you've invested so much
time that when you meet them,most people try to overlook it
because it's like damn, I'vebeen talking to this person a
couple weeks a month, damn, andI like this conversation.
(13:42):
Even on FaceTime, motherfuckingcan fake or whatever, and you
meet them and the vibe is justnot there.
Styles (13:47):
Not only that, but I
mean you can gauge whether you
want to go on a date with thisperson, whether this person is
socially awkward or not.
You get what I'm saying.
I could be texting you and Icould be the illest poet on the
planet.
You be like, oh my god, gpt.
Yeah, exactly that too.
That too, like.
This nigga is so fucking cool.
He's amazing.
Blsd Jess (14:08):
I want to be your
mother, your brother, your
sister, your cousin.
I just want to love you, baby.
Barbie (14:12):
Like a motherfucker.
Blsd Jess (14:14):
Get that motherfucker
, that nigga be a goofy ass,
nigga.
There we go, all right.
Barbie (14:18):
Now get over with All
right, I'm done.
Okay, I'll.
Blsd Jess (14:28):
A challenge that I
wrote was scrolling can be a
distraction like a motherfucker100% Like a motherfucker.
Styles (14:35):
They call it doom
scrolling, doom scrolling yeah.
Blsd Jess (14:38):
So if you at work and
you supposed to be typing up
reports that dinner but you geta little thing somebody liked
your picture, somebody commented, somebody want to meet you like
you're taken away from whereyour focus is really supposed to
be.
So if you don't really have ahandle on how you manage social
media, that might not be theright way.
But there aren't a lot of.
(14:59):
I ain't seen nobody go to aspeed dating in forever I have
not seen that in a long time andI feel like maybe we need to
get back to social setting Noteven speed dating, but getting
the fuck out the house and goingout I was about to say, because
I think that that's flawed too.
Speed dating yeah, I've neverbeen to one, the shit just looks
(15:19):
.
Styles (15:20):
Amazing.
Blsd Jess (15:21):
No, it looks like a
lot.
Yeah, because I don't want tosit in no seat behind nobody's
hot-ass booty, and we all gotthem Knock it off.
You've taken publictransportation before you have,
just You've taken publictransportation before you have
Just say yes, a plane, all right, ain't?
Styles (15:38):
nobody hot ass, but it's
been able to air out.
Blsd Jess (15:40):
You've never been on
a bus To get to my airport.
Styles (15:43):
Been on a bus To get to
my rental car.
Is that a yes, it's a shuttle.
Is that a yes?
Blsd Jess (15:49):
I've been on a
shuttle, a shuttle's a what A
way to get to my rental car.
Styles (15:56):
Wheels on the bus go
round and round.
Blsd Jess (15:58):
But I feel like maybe
, as far as I know I said
scrolling at work, but it reallycould get in the way at home
too, like when you're supposedto be paying attention to your
kids or being attentive with afamily matter or whatever, and
you get distracted and youhyper-, hyper focus on doing
that and does that really takeaway from, like, your confidence
and your self-esteem thatyou're just sitting there
waiting for somebody to likesomething or you waiting on a
(16:21):
nigga to respond, like does thattake away from you really being
in the moment and missing outon shit I don't know.
Styles (16:29):
Um, I think that there
is.
There is a balance whereby Ithink the older you get, right
depending on when the wholedigital age hits you, but the
older you get, the more you canrelax when you're sending out a
text.
You're not just waiting forthat text to come back, right?
Blsd Jess (16:45):
I agree.
Styles (16:46):
Okay, here we go.
Thank you, that's all I needed.
Age and maturity too.
Blsd Jess (16:49):
So some young people
don't give a fuck about a phone
it.
Styles (16:51):
That's all I needed.
Age and maturity too.
So some young people don't givea fuck about a phone.
Blsd Jess (16:55):
It's rare.
It's rare, that's a fact.
Some older people, that's allthey like.
I've seen older people just sitthere and scroll sit and scroll
.
Styles (17:00):
So it's just me.
But I got a little life hackthough.
If you are caught up in thatwhole digital thing and stuff
like that, you ever your phoneever go off.
You go to your phone and you'relike, fuck, I ain't have to
walk over here for that.
Get a fucking watch.
I promise you it'll save you alot of time.
(17:22):
That's true.
I dub a lot of motherfuckers onmy watch.
Be like bing that or turn yournotifications off.
You can do that too.
Blsd Jess (17:29):
Turn your
notifications off.
And have a designated time whenyou check it.
Okay, I will check it myself.
I don't want to be notifiedwhen somebody Cause that's
distracting.
Styles (17:37):
I get antsy though.
Blsd Jess (17:38):
Why.
Styles (17:39):
Because something might
happen.
You know what I mean.
Like there might be anemergency I'm talking about on
the app.
Blsd Jess (17:43):
I'm not talking about
on the phone.
Styles (17:44):
Oh, got you.
Blsd Jess (17:44):
On the dating app.
So instead of you getting Allthese hinge notifications or
back up whoever Like.
Barbie (17:50):
turn that shit off.
You thinking you more importantthan the fuck, you really are
nigga.
Blsd Jess (17:55):
No, turn that shit
off and focus on the shit that's
making your money.
Focus on the shit that'sbringing your kids joy and be in
the moment Like check that shitwhen you get a chance.
Don't be interrupted by it Okay.
The convenience of dating apps.
You get to meet people.
But some of the challenges thatyou kind of thought about were
like ghosting, fake profiles andsafety concerns.
(18:18):
Ghosting I really don't give afuck about.
I've been ghosted before.
Styles (18:22):
Me too.
It's the most hurtful shit onthe planet.
To be honest with you.
Blsd Jess (18:26):
You know why it's
hurtful to me.
Styles (18:27):
Why.
Blsd Jess (18:28):
Because I'm doper
than a motherfucker and it's
like who the fuck is youghosting me for?
Because them bitches like.
But you know what I'm like, thetrash takes itself out.
So if y'all motherfuckers eversee me because a bitch is, I'm
going somewhere, I'm goingplaces.
Styles (18:46):
Fucking Leo's ego is
insane bro.
Blsd Jess (18:49):
So I know how dope I
am, I know what I provide, I
know what type of woman I am.
I know what I provide, I knowwhat type of woman I am.
So when a man goes to mewithout conversation, it's like
I'm appreciative after I getover my ego being hurt.
But fake profiles what doesthat even look like?
(19:10):
What is that?
Styles (19:10):
You know exactly what it
looks like.
First of all, the fake profile.
Nine times out of ten isbasically the grandma's off
Right.
So you already know the picturedoesn't match the grandma.
You understand what I'm saying.
You know Right?
I don't know.
I think it's actually hilarious.
Fake profile shit is basicallywhen you're sneaking around
(19:32):
trying to see what somebody elseis doing, but you know that
person.
I don't give a fuck about thefake profiles like that for real
.
Blsd Jess (19:38):
Or profiles without a
picture.
I don't know why anybody wouldrespond to anybody with a resume
.
Styles (19:45):
Nah.
I think they stepped it up.
Blsd Jess (19:48):
You think so?
Styles (19:48):
Yeah, I think they
stepped it up.
I haven't seen too many ofthose Like.
I see those, Like I'll get theDM right, It'll have a picture,
but then once it sits there forabout 10 minutes, that shit
doesn't have a picture becauseit was shut down.
Blsd Jess (20:01):
Okay.
Styles (20:03):
Yeah, so I get that
though.
All right, you meet someone atthe bar, Great conversation, but
they don't have social media.
Is it a red flag or a greenflag?
Blsd Jess (20:11):
I think it's a green
flag.
Honestly Word yeah.
Styles (20:16):
Do you understand that
social media came into play and
basically took and replacedbackground checks?
I could do my own for free.
Wait, no, you need to havesocial media.
This is 2025.
Blsd Jess (20:27):
But if a person does
not want to be in that realm, I
respect the person's boundaries.
Nah, Because why does everybodywant to be in that realm?
I respect the person'sboundaries.
Styles (20:33):
Nah, because, why does?
Blsd Jess (20:34):
everybody have to be
on Facebook.
Styles (20:37):
Why does everybody have
to be on Instagram?
Let me explain something to you.
Let's go.
You go on a date, right, firstof all, you're sharing your
location with her period Handsdown, right.
But something happened.
I don't have your locationbecause you got you know I'm
grown, okay.
I don't have your locationbecause you got you know I'm
grown, okay, so I don't haveyour location.
Something happened, but I knewwho you were going out with
because we had that conversation.
(20:58):
Okay, I can't find thismotherfucker.
Blsd Jess (21:01):
I personally know
people who do not.
You know social.
Styles (21:05):
Who are the weirdos?
Blsd Jess (21:07):
I don't think they're
weird.
I think these motherfuckers gottheir life together in a way
that they value traditional waysof doing things and those
people are perfectly fine.
They got good jobs, they havegood relationships with people
and they just off themotherfucking grid so basically
you're saying it's a green flag,it's not a red flag.
To me, it's not a red one,because I respect the person's
(21:28):
autonomy to do what they gonnado, but why do they have to have
one?
Why is that a necessity?
Expect a person's autonomy todo what they're going to do, but
why do they have to have one?
Why is that a?
Styles (21:36):
necessity.
I mean, I have all kinds ofshit, I know exactly.
I feel like.
I feel like alright.
So as far as, like anybody outhere has a hustle, okay, right,
and I think that one of the mainpillars is a social media
platform for your hustle.
I don't give a fuck what it is.
You have a hustle like the nineto five shit.
(21:57):
I respect it.
I'm here for it.
I'm not a corporate man likethat.
I don't wake up to make pepsicola millions of dollars just so
I can retire on the fuckingbeach all saggy and gray at 65
is not what I'm here for, okay.
So I feel like now, especiallyin your wife how old are you?
Okay, you're that big to beyoung, so listen, that's why
(22:20):
you're not, yeah, so, with thatbeing said, though, these people
were actually I don't want tosay that they weren't into it,
but they crossed over into itOkay, right but they crossed
over into it.
Okay, right, so my personalperspective is they got
motherfucking.
They got motherfucking socialmedia.
If they tell you they don'thave social media, they lying.
(22:41):
They lying like a motherfucker,like a motherfucker, damn,
that's a red flag.
Especially if it's a dude,because there's so much shit to
look at online.
Whether you looking at ads,whether you looking at cars,
whether you're looking at ads,whether you're looking at cars,
whether you're looking atbusiness opportunities, whether
you're a tech head and you'rejust looking at tech shit,
there's so much to look at.
You have a social.
It might not be your name orpicture.
Blsd Jess (23:04):
So are you including,
like LinkedIn or other things,
in social media too?
Are you just talking aboutFacebook and Instagram?
Styles (23:09):
That all falls under the
umbrella of social media.
Blsd Jess (23:13):
Well, I was just
talking about Facebook and
Instagram.
That all falls under theumbrella of social media.
Styles (23:15):
Well, I was just talking
about Instagram and Facebook.
So okay, oh, okay, You'reswiping the new.
Can I buy you a drink?
Blsd Jess (23:20):
No, you got to ask
Just because you swiped and we
matched, that's all automatic.
No, motherfucker, you got toask.
I got to like you back.
Styles (23:27):
Yeah, you right, good
point.
Jesus Christ, I like you back.
Blsd Jess (23:31):
I don't even like
people buying me drinks at the
bar.
I went out with my littlesister a couple weeks ago and a
dyke bought me a drink Like no,I don't want everybody buying me
a drink Yo this is the thing Ithink the niggas is missing out
On With the swiping shit andsending drinks and shit Like
young niggas is missing out.
Styles (23:48):
I'm from the buy you a
drink phase.
I mean that whole shit.
I'm from that.
I feel you.
Blsd Jess (23:55):
And ask me what your
interests are, who you be with.
Okay, I feel like that's anin-person type of question,
though, is it?
It does not automatically meanbecause you like me, that means
you want to buy me a drink 100%.
That don't mean that You'regoing to have to be very
articulate.
You're going to have to usesome big old words that you used
(24:16):
to get out of 12th grade.
You at least accumulated enoughwords in your 12 years of the
lower academia to formulate asentence to ask me can I buy you
a drink and let me make anhonest and well-informed
decision.
Whether I tell your ass no oryes, A me make an honest and
well-informed decision.
Whether I tell your ass no oryes, A swag does not
automatically mean that Red flaggreen flag Loves dogs but hate
(24:40):
kids.
Red flag.
Styles (24:43):
Because you have kids,
so that was stupid.
Blsd Jess (24:45):
And I don't fuck with
dogs.
Yeah, basically, Because whatthe fuck you like a dog over a
kid for?
That motherfucker can't sayshit.
He shit everywhere.
He shit.
You got to walk thatmotherfucker rain, sleep and get
the fuck out of here.
Absolutely not.
Styles (24:57):
Fuck you and the dog,
all right, only here for fun, no
drama.
Blsd Jess (25:03):
I feel like that's a
green flag, because he's being
honest, is that a green Becausehe's honest.
I appreciate when somebody justgives me the option to say you
go over there and do that, then,brother man.
Barbie (25:16):
You going?
Blsd Jess (25:16):
over there and do
that.
I appreciate it.
Styles (25:19):
All right, entrepreneur
Jimrat62, because that matter.
Blsd Jess (25:25):
It does Okay got it.
We like a 6'2", so I'm totally.
I'm 5'5, we love a 6'2, so Ifeel like, in a way, me
personally, I would think that'sa green flag, because to me,
he's putting it out there thatif you are a discerning enough
(25:46):
female, you'll know okay, thisman is busy, he's focused, he's
disciplined.
If he's an entrepreneur, he'sdisciplined enough to start his
own business.
But that means this man is busy, he's focused, he has is.
He's disciplined.
If he's an entrepreneur, he'sdisciplined enough to start his
own business.
But that means this man is busy, he's not a bum.
He probably will be texting youall the time, just on your
phone, waiting like this man hasshit to do.
He's focused on his health, hisbody.
You don't want no bum nigga,just out here doing whatever.
(26:07):
I feel like it's a great thingokay, and he's tall, all right.
Styles (26:10):
I wish that I could have
more input in this conversation
, but I told you Sure, let's go,I was murdered, all right.
Yeah, all right.
So listen, if you guys have anyfunny stories, we'd love to
hear it.
You know, drop them under thecomments or DM us.
Pardon, don't drop them underany comments, because I don't
(26:31):
even read comments that are likea page long anyway.
But drop it in the DM and we'lldefinitely get to it next
episode or the episode wheneverwe discover that episode.
Yeah, okay.
Blsd Jess (26:44):
Okay, so real quick,
so setting boundaries right.
Styles (26:47):
Right.
Blsd Jess (26:47):
So how to communicate
your intentions early, whether
online or in person.
So I really feel like, beforeyou even create a dating profile
, figure out what the fuck youwant.
Do not just be up here justbrowsing wasting people's time
and somebody a woman or a manthis goes for both.
They know what they want andthey like you.
They like your physicalappearance, they like what you
(27:08):
happen to write on your bio andthen y'all start to talking and
you fumbling and bumbling on thefucking.
Make sure you know what youwant.
If you want to just be friends,you're looking for friends with
benefits.
You're looking for dating,casually dating, seriously,
dating to marry, whatever thatis.
Figure that out.
And if you don't know, just putthat out there.
I don't know what.
I'm Just say that there's a lotof people out here wasting
(27:30):
people's time when we got some,for sure, people that know what
they want and they meet peoplethat don't, and that's a
frustrating place to be in yousound like you're trying to
recoup something.
I ain't trying, I am okay, getthe fuck out of here if you
don't like to hear you, and howto identify people who are
serious about relationshipsversus just looking.
(27:52):
I feel like some people they'llsay it.
You'll show up withintentionality.
You show interest.
You ask questions to get toknow a person.
You ain't just waiting onsomebody to ask you or cater to
you.
Ask questions if you'reinterested.
Show up.
If they're not missing or it'sa certain amount of time passed
and you're interested, check onthem.
(28:12):
Life might be lifing or theymay have ghosted you, but you
need to figure that out.
Styles (28:18):
Listen.
So we're going to wrap this upAll right, Because we're going
over right now.
I want to give them someresources.
Barbie (28:24):
Okay.
Styles (28:25):
You know some things.
I haven't necessarily usedthese things, but these things
are popular, all right.
So dating app recommendationsAll right.
We have Hinge for meaningfulconnections.
We have BLK catering for blacksingles Not singling us out, but
you know, it is what it is.
Coffee meets bagel I did.
I do remember, rather, whenthey first launched coffee meets
(28:46):
bagel and it's actually ratherinteresting.
I was just interested in thestory behind it from a business
standpoint Um Bumble empoweringwomen to make the first move.
Now, I like that, would you?
Why your face like that?
Why your face like that?
Huh?
Blsd Jess (29:03):
Sorry, audience, I
don't, because I'm already
empowered to do it.
I mean, I didn't know.
That's what the purpose of theapp was.
Styles (29:11):
Well, what happens is
there's a lot of women out there
that don't think or feelcomfortable enough making the
first move.
So I think that the app isactually going to help them or
should help them.
Well, that's any app.
Then how is that bumbledifferent from anything else?
I don't know, I haven't used it.
All right me, neither.
All right, so safety tools.
We got some safety tools.
Safety tools are important.
All right, noon light, areal-time safety app for dates.
(29:32):
All right, circle of sixdiscrete sos app for emergencies
.
And this shit is actually.
I want to put like a star nextto this.
Right, because of the fact thatone you've never met this
person don't know this person.
Right, your people don't knowwho this person is.
You might be texting on or beon some bullshit where, like my,
(29:52):
my business is my business.
That shit, you understand whatI'm saying.
So nobody knows, right, youknow, end up in a lake with your
business.
Anyway, those things areimportant.
Please check them out.
All right, let me see Books andpodcasts for better dating,
right?
Modern Romance by Aziz Ansariand I probably butchered that.
(30:13):
A deep dive into love in thedigital age.
All right, attached by AmirLevine, understanding attachment
styles and relationships.
I actually did a podcast withBarb from Let Me Touch you
podcast.
Shout out to Barb yeah, and shemade me read that book.
Blsd Jess (30:32):
How was it?
Styles (30:33):
Fire.
Blsd Jess (30:34):
Really yeah, it was
fire.
Styles (30:35):
All right, let me put a
stop.
She had a whole season.
Check out, let Me Touch youpodcast, for that is fire.
Alright, let me put a stop.
She had a whole season.
Check out, let Me Touch yourPodcast for that.
Alright.
So you don't even have to go tothe book.
We actually broke down the bookon the podcast, alright.
The Dating Then Podcast Expertadvice on dating with confidence
Alright.
Blsd Jess (30:52):
So, look, if y'all
don't like buying books or if
y'all are like Kindle readers,I'll give you my little go-to Go
to oceanofpdfcom.
You can get any book you want,any author, genre, year, and you
can download it for free on PDF.
So if you have a Kindle or youdon't mind online reading, it's
a good way to kind of get freebooks.
Styles (31:13):
Yo, this is a house of
cards.
They're upstairs like jumpingaround.
I swear to God, that wall justshook.
Blsd Jess (31:19):
Did it.
Styles (31:19):
Yeah, it did.
Blsd Jess (31:21):
They up there trying
to learn boots on the ground.
Barbie (31:24):
Leave them alone.
That's fucking crazy.
Blsd Jess (31:28):
They are really going
in so y'all can hear that cool,
but y'all probably can't.
But they are definitely doingthe heel toe.
Styles (31:34):
Yeah, they are For sure.
Give me your takeaway for theepisode.
Blsd Jess (31:43):
I feel like give it a
shot if you.
If you want to date, what ashot.
If you want to date, be openenough to give online dating a
shot, but do it withintentionality, do it with some
common sense and do it with someboundaries and some safety, um
precautions in place, but, um, Ifeel like online dating is
still trash though.
But give it a shot though, butI have personally stepped away
from it.
Styles (32:06):
I mean shit.
Blsd Jess (32:07):
Y'all give it a shot.
I shot that motherfucker.
Y'all give it y'all own shot.
Shit is shot.
But, be safe.
If y'all gonna do it Like itworks, for some people it
doesn't.
I feel like I'm more of atraditional in-person type of
person.
I like to talk.
I'm a therapist Like me.
Being in person, getting toread people, it's kind of like
(32:28):
my little superpower.
So y'all just do it and beintentional, don't waste
nobody's time, but be safe aboutit and good luck.
Styles (32:38):
Everything that she said
.
Yo, they all wilding upstairs.
Barbie (32:44):
I don't know if y'all
can hear that.
Styles (32:47):
I don't know if they
having sex or it's domestic
abuse going on.
Blsd Jess (32:50):
What are we doing?
Styles (32:52):
Yeah, pretty much.
Blsd Jess (32:53):
We ain't heard no
screams, none.
Styles (32:56):
Yeah, oh, my God, all
right.
So, yeah, no, pretty much whatyou say.
Say if you out there, like, mybiggest thing is just be safe.
You know, I don't, I reallydon't.
I can't weigh in on the outcome, whether you know, be it good
or bad, I can't.
Again, like I said, it's not.
I could speak from experience,but my experience is back when
(33:17):
it's dated when monstercom wastaking resumes.
Yo, that's crazy.
Mapquest was a paper.
Blsd Jess (33:28):
Ash Jeeves was the
search engine, you understand.
Styles (33:31):
AOL was on this.
Yeah, there was no Uggs, it wasLuggs.
Barbie (33:36):
I did it.
Styles (33:36):
People.
Blsd Jess (33:36):
PC.
What's up?
My nigga been shut down For awhile.
That's a compliment, man.
It's trash out here.
Yo, what the Shit?
Alright, so.
Styles (33:50):
Hold on, Hold on.
Hold on my fault Alright, socheck it out.
Follow Hustle Heal On IG andTikTok Alright.
Share your Funniest, mostawkward Dating app moments Using
the hashtag Swipe right WithHustle Heal on IG and TikTok
Alright.
Share your funniest, mostawkward dating app moments using
the hashtagSwipeRightWithHustleAndHeal
Alright.
Subscribe rate and all thatother good shit.
I'm going to get this down.
It's the first episode.
Blsd Jess (34:11):
And it was bomb too.
We killed it.
Styles (34:15):
Yo, I'm going to catch
y'all on the flip side.
Blsd Jess (34:16):
I'm Bless Jess Stiles
you out of here.
Barbie (34:21):
That's a wrap on another
episode of Hustle Heal, where
real talk meets realtransformation.
If today's convo hit home,inspired a shift or just made
you feel seen, do us a solidSubscribe, leave a review and
(34:47):
share it with someone who needsto hear it.
Stay locked in with themovement and follow us at
Hustling Heal on Instagram,TikTok, YouTube and everywhere
else you scroll.
And if you want to tap in withyour hosts, you can find Jess at
Bless Jess and Salves at Salves.
Underscore BK across allplatforms, Because healing ain't
soft and hustling ain't selfish.
This is the work, this is theway, Every damn day.