June 5, 2025 • 59 mins
Success in life and business often hinges on the people we surround ourselves with, including romantic partners and business collaborators. Finding alignment in values, goals, and work ethic creates powerful partnerships that elevate everyone involved.
• The right partnerships can propel you forward while wrong ones can hold you back
• Trust your intuition when evaluating potential partners - your gut feeling serves as a personal security system
• Communication is the foundation for successful partnerships - learn to say difficult things and hear difficult feedback
• Creative individuals often work best with other creatives who understand their process and passion
• Start with small projects before fully committing to business partnerships
• Recognize red flags like lack of accountability, financial secrecy, and poor communication
• Know when to walk away from partnerships that no longer serve your growth
• Communicate expectations early to minimize misunderstandings later
• Consider using assessment tools like MBTI and DISC to better understand work styles
• Resources like The Five Love Languages and Crucial Conversations can improve relationship dynamics
This week's listener challenge: Reflect on your current partnerships (romantic, business, and friendships) and evaluate how they align with your values and goals. Share your thoughts using #HustleAndHealPartners on social media.
Connect With Us:
Host Styles – @stylesc_bk
Host Blessed Jess – @blsdjess
Follow Hustle and Heal on:
Instagram | Twitter | YouTube | TikTok – @hustlenheal
Email:
Podcast Intro:
Uncle Dolomite - IG | @uncledolemite
Podcast Outro:
Barbie - IG | @let_me_touch_you
New episodes drop biweekly. Healing and hustling go hand-in-hand—Every. Damn. Day.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
In dealing with daily life, we come across two types
of people who seek to changelives Hustlers, who are about
making it in life no matter what, and the healers, who dedicate
their time and energy to helpingthe collective.
These are their representatives.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I know what you thought you was going to hear.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
But this ain't that, where the grind meets growth.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
This is Hustle Heal.
So here's the thing Between thebrunch I went.
Now I still don't know how tostart a fucking show, Clearly.
Yeah, we out here just lookingcrazy.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Me neither.
I feel like at this pointpeople should know what to
expect, because they've seen usnow in thrice different
environments, differentscenarios, like we've evolved in
front of people.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
All right, so let's get the show on the road.
Listen, my name is Stiles and Iam Blessed Jess, and this is
Hustlin' Hill.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Let's go so on this episode we'll be talking about
success in life and business andhow it often hinges on the
people you surround yourselfwith.
Also, we'll be deep diving intothe dynamics of finding the
right partners, whether romanticor professional.
We will discuss how to alignvalues, set healthy boundaries
and avoid common pitfalls whenchoosing who to build with, both
(01:23):
in life and in business.
So every week, we will have alistener challenge, and this
week, what we want you to dowhile you're listening to our
episode today is to reflect onyour current partnerships
romantic, business and orfriendships and see how they are
aligned with your values andyour goal, with your values and
your goal.
(01:43):
Kabish, kabish, kabish.
So, styles, tell me about atime when a partnership, whether
romantic or business, wentreally well or really wrong.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
A friend of mine started this.
Uh, we, that's a really goodquestion and I don't fucking
know.
I thought I had an answer, Allright.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I don't, I don't think I've ever like really done
a Well, is it?
Well, I guess, partnerships,are we talking about just
relationships or just like abusiness relationship then?
Speaker 1 (02:14):
I mean either let's not go with the relationship I
was about to say because I gotplenty that's gone wrong.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Yeah, nah, nah, nah.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
It's too early for that, but I too early for that.
Alright, so we had a web portalthat we had started or was
starting for Urban Engine.
I didn't know anything aboutthe interwebs or anything like
that, and I'm talking like thiswas maybe.
I hate that page, so this ismaybe like For real, maybe like
(02:43):
you know.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Ask Jeeves For real.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
These kids don't even know Jeeves.
Who the fuck is Jeeves nigga?
Yahoo was a search engine.
Who was actually using Yahoo?
Yahoo?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
was a search engine and it was Yahoo.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
We was actually using it.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
We were.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Google was not even a thing for real.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
High speed internet was called a T1, and they had to
physically put that cable inyour house.
Anyway, off that, we came upwith this web portal called
Urban Engine.
Okay, it was going to be a shop, a digital shopping mall online
.
It was going to be a shop, adigital shopping mall online, so
akin to an Amazon right now,but more like what you do, your
(03:31):
VR goggles that you have now.
Technology wasn't there, but wewere big dreamers, anywho.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Nigga, you could have been that motherfucker.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Listen, it was the internet bubble time before it
burst.
But anyway, what we did wasthis I got with a bunch of
people.
A friend of mine came to mewith the idea.
I took it to another friend ofmine who actually had the bread
to get it done.
I put them in a room together.
They worked it out.
Then I went and got some otherpeople for, like, some software
(04:04):
engineers and stuff like that.
Needless to say, I got squeezedout of the deal and that's
still my man to today.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Is the business successful still?
Speaker 2 (04:12):
No, that's not to say that it wasn't, because it was,
and they did a couple of thingswith it before they let it fall
to the wayside, but that's oneof my harrowing stories.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Okay, so in the beginning, what made the
partnership work?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
It was the chemistry.
So basically it was a I don'twant to say it was a bunch of
hood educated dudes, but it wasmore or less like that.
I worked on Wall Street at thetime at a copy shop, right, I
was actually taking orders atthat time.
Then I converted to asalesperson because I was like,
(04:48):
oh, there's more money in this,let's do that.
And I met him from canvassingyou know, canvas in different
buildings and stuff like that,trying to get some accounts.
So I met.
That was how I met one.
The other one.
He was one of my accounts.
He worked for prudentialsecurity, okay so he was like yo
I got to.
He was a of my accounts.
He worked for PrudentialSecurity.
Okay, so he was like yo, I gotthis.
(05:09):
He was a young dude.
We was all young at that time.
Yes, I was once young we wasall young.
I hear you, jeeves, yeah, youknow.
So after a couple of LongIsland iced teas at 5 o'clock
every day, he was like yo,styles, styles.
I got this idea, like, oh, Ilike the idea, I got this guy
that does this.
(05:29):
Let me put y'all together, putthem together.
They worked out whatever theyworked out.
Um, you know what's so funny?
I should have seen it coming,because they squeezed him out
before they squeezed me out.
Yeah, he was out of here beforethat and then, after they
squeezed him out, I was next tomine here before that and then,
after they squeezed him out, Iwas next to fine, of course, but
these were your personalfriends.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Yeah, what were the red flags?
You missed?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
I didn't know anything about business.
Okay, I didn't know.
I knew how the corporate worldworked with regards to you know.
You fill out this application,you get a job and you were
slaved forever.
I knew how that worked as faras running a business and being
part of a business that I had,you know, equity in.
I didn't know anything aboutthat.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Any other ones that worked?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Yes, ones that worked , but we'll get into that later.
But I did have one.
My brother and I actuallystarted a magazine called Whips,
chicks and Bikes, cars, womenand Motorcycles.
That worked until it didn'twork, but it worked.
It worked on the business side.
It didn't necessarily work onthe personal side.
Ok, right, so we'll get intothat later.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
OK, yeah.
So why does this topic matter?
Because success is really asolo journey, whether in
business or relationships.
The right partnerships canelevate you, while the wrong
ones can hold your bite.
So let's talk about it.
What makes a great partner andwhat are the red flags that tell
you when to walk away?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
I know it seems like we're reading everything off
here.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
We're just trying to stay on track you know, to give
you guys, because we will goleft and stay left, stay left.
So the emotional side of it,like how did you feel?
Like, did you feel like youlost a friend?
Did you?
Were you able to maintain therelationship?
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Yeah, no, it was horrible Because, again, the
numbers that we were all right.
So the friend that I have untiltoday not the guy that first
brought the idea to me, but theguy that's my friend to this day
he actually.
It was rough because we gothrough our periods of time
where we talk, we don't talk, wetalk, we don't talk, and stuff
(07:39):
like that.
So it was kind of emotional forme because he had brought me
other deals outside of that,because I sold print services
right.
So he put me in a lot ofdifferent rooms to actually make
money for my master remember,it's the corporate world, you
know I mean so he put some moneyin my pocket that way.
In terms of the the businessitself, though I was actually
(08:05):
looking for the big payday atthe end of the day as we all
know, you know.
So we looked at it, we ran somenumbers.
There was a lot of, you know.
There was some big figuresbeing thrown around.
So when I wasn't a part of thator able to be a part of that,
that shit hurt, you know, ofcourse.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
Okay.
So, throughout all of your likeyou know, okay, so throughout
all of your like your ups anddowns with your friends, did it
have a severe financial toll on?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
you Like.
Did you invest a lot?
No, I didn't See.
That was the beautiful thingabout it.
I didn't have to investanything, right?
So my skin in the game and myequity came from me putting the
pieces together.
So I knew what we needed and Iknew who had it.
In order for us to go and get itLike, for instance, we needed a
graphic designer we hopped inthe car.
Literally, my man's office wasin the old Rockefeller building
(08:51):
Rockefeller, yeah, whereRockefeller actually first
started 111.
John, he was in that samebuilding.
There was a car rental placenot too far from there.
We went, we rented a car, wespoke to the dude online or
whatever, whatever he Too farfrom there.
We went, we rented a car, wespoke to dude online or whatever
.
Whatever.
He was like, listen, this iswhat we're trying to do.
He was interested, but he wason the fence and we're all in
sales, so we got to close this.
So we went, we got a car.
(09:12):
We drove down to NC True storySame day, spoke to dude, sealed
everything and told him what wewere trying to do.
Duper interested, he was onboard.
He drove us back to new yorksame day.
I'm talking yeah, it was crazy.
Wow, yeah, so I didn't have toactually invest anything.
He was the money man.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Right, he was the money man and the technology
behind the whole situation nowyou see why it's important to
have some type of investmentlike to be needed.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Yeah, you can't get yeah, but the thing is I did
ignore a red flag.
One of the red flags was whenwe got rid of the guy whose idea
it was and I was like, ofcourse I'm next in line.
How could I not be next in line, right, okay, oh, that's that.
What's your perspective?
Speaker 3 (09:55):
um.
So the emotional side of endinga partnership I could.
I could see how that would bevery taxing and especially if
you are still in communicationand still in interactions with
these people, that has to belike something you really got to
pay attention to how you, howyou hold yourself when you got
to interact with these people,because you still want to be
(10:16):
professional, you still want tomaintain certain bonds.
But after that, like, how doyou even look at them the same,
how do you even deal with people?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Okay, that's actually a really good question.
I know a lot of other peopleare like yo fuck him, but it
wasn't that I didn't understandthe business behind it, right,
because what happened was when Icame in again I had all the
pieces.
He was like listen, you shouldbe the CEO.
Little did I know.
(10:45):
Ceos don't mean anything.
Their work is just likeeverybody else right.
So it doesn't mean anything, butat the time I was a title whore
.
I didn't go to him on somethinglike I need to be.
I didn't do any of that.
However, when he said it, thatshould have been a red flag too.
Reason being we never didbusiness like that before, right
(11:08):
, he's never seen me in thatcapacity, you understand, okay.
So I should have been like allright, chill, I can't do that,
but I'm just going to continuein my role of putting the pieces
together and then we work itout like that, right, okay.
But then when we got rid ofTerrence that was a guy that
actually brought the whole ideato us I should have knew the
writing was on the wall.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
So look why it's so important to trust your
instincts when something feelsoff To me I tell this to my
clients all the time yourintuition, your gut feeling, is
almost like your own personalsecurity ADT for your body, like
you might not know specificallysomething's wrong, but your
body will tell your asssomething off.
It'll be like all right, payattention.
You might not know what to payattention to at the time, but
(11:51):
your intuition is your ownpersonal debo, like to let you
know, motherfucker, something.
The fuck is going on.
You need to keep your head onthe swivel.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Big fact.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
But now do keep your head on the swivel big fact.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Um, but now I guess, now that you're older are you,
trusting your intuition, watchout with that old shit.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
You are older, nigga we are older than we started at
12 you are older but now thatyou are more experienced, right,
more, more seasoned yeah do youfeel like you trust your
intuition a little bit more?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
a lot more, actually a lot more, a lot more, and I
don't think that, I don't evensay that I don't think that, but
there have been plenty ofsituations.
I've been put in being theolder figure in the group and I
didn't take advantage of anybodylike that, not saying he did it
all, because we've had plentyof conversations, you know,
surrounding that whole situation.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
I, I personally, don't move like that and haven't
moved like that, you know Idon't know who I've heard say
this and I know I probably seenlike on tv.
Like how jewish people dobusiness.
Like they'll take each other tocourt and then go out to lunch
later because they know it'sjust business.
Like they don't take itpersonal, like you know what,
and not only that.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Yes, and what's so crazy about that is, if you have
it right, you're doing it onprinciple alone.
It has nothing to do with themoney.
So it's like I got the breadand I own the block.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
The scenario that I heard it in.
It was a situation where one ofthe friends missed something in
like a contract and the otherfriend took advantage of it and
took him to court and got money.
And the other friend didn't getmad.
He was like, got me, like thatwas my oversight it was a lesson
.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
It was a lesson.
It was a lesson.
His family's still gonna eat,he's still gonna own the block.
He still got his friend andstill got his friend.
I mean, I still have my friend.
I still have this 35 years.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
So I'm not even mad that you still have him because,
as you're, telling the story.
I'm like it sounds like howJewish people do business, like
they don't fuck around and ruinbonds over money because it
comes and goes.
You'll get it back.
Right and you learn a lessonalong the way.
So, yeah, you might have lostsome money of money, but I
taught your ass a little bitsomething more valuable no big
facts you never lose it again.
You'll never big facts fuck uplike that again.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Yeah like, for instance, like projects that I
start now.
I know for a fact what I'mgonna do.
Well, what I have been doing isbasically, like we said before,
probably on a previous episode,start on small.
Yeah, right, so I'll give.
Let's just use podcasting, forinstance, right, if it'sing, I'm
only doing, I'm only committingto like five episodes.
(14:27):
I say I'm just going to committo five episodes.
I know what I bring to thetable and I know that I'm going
to bring everything to bear withregards to that, and then we'll
work it out from there, right,right, because it gives you
enough time to work out thekinks and stuff like that.
(14:51):
I'm tired of losing friends overbusiness.
I ain't gonna hold you like.
I'm tired of losing friendsover business like I'm.
I'm, I'm a saltine fuckingcracker, like I kid you not.
And then I have to control myemotions.
You get what I'm saying and Ican't.
They're like yo styles, don'tbe that person.
I'm like, I don't want to bethat person.
But then also, I feel like youcan't judge my reaction to
(15:11):
something you did to me.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
Of course, nobody can ever tell you how they made you
feel.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Like ever.
It happens all the time.
You'd be surprised.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
So keys to keeping a strong partnership Like being
aligned with values and visionIn business.
Do you share the same work,ethic, goals and financial
mindset?
Like that's super important tohave a good financial or
business partnership and arelationship too.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
With regards to actually picking a partner,
whether it's a business, we'restaying with the business
because we're in the hustlesegment right now.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Gotcha okay.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Right, staying with the business.
You got to avoid the me toopeople.
I bump into a lot of me tooPeople when I say that.
I'm not talking about theoriginal way that the term was
defined.
I'm talking about the peoplewhere you're like yo, I get up
at six o'clock.
You this is coming out of yourmouth I get up at six o'clock in
the morning and then, whateverit is that I need to do, that I
(16:01):
had set the night before I getthat done right, and then if I
have something to do, listen, Igo so hard and that person's
response is me too and myresponse is bullshit.
Now, now is bullshit becauseI'm.
You bump into them all the timebecause we have to.
We have to understand that,like, if I come to you and I'm
(16:22):
excited about something, whatare you going to be?
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Excited too.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Exactly Without thinking, yeah, it just rubs off
Like, ah, excited, right, goodjob.
But what happens, though, isyou might be excited, but you're
not totally bought in as far asthe work ethic and the work
concern, because you're the onethat saw the vision.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
I didn't have a vision.
You brought it to me and Idon't see it the way you see it
Right, but what'd you say though?
Yay me too.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
There you go.
So you have to temper youremotions and evaluate it before
you can actually come out yourface and say X, y and Z right.
Yo, I lose so many fuckingfriends.
I swear to God, friend.
(17:09):
I swear to God because it'sjust like once you do something
or start something, and thenthat something doesn't come to
fruition, I'm not the nigga topush it down are you able to
shut the hell up about yourvisions then, like like a lot of
times because I'm the same waytoo, like I get excited and I
want to share with people,because I don't want the people
around me to be left behind.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
I want to bring everybody with me, and then you
get that disappointment whereyou see you can't take everybody
with you.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Yeah, and that's the thing.
Like I'm not, I'm not agatekeeper, because I feel like
if I tell you the idea, itdoesn't matter, right?
So my million dollar idea mightbe a two million dollar idea in
your hands, which is fine,because I'm going to still get
(17:51):
my million, so I don't care.
So, holding it in for me, Ican't.
I can't hold it in, it ain'tnothing to talk about.
I can't hold it in because Iwant to, I want to keep the
momentum, and that's the thing.
I can't keep the momentum ifI'm the only one hyping myself
up.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
So you definitely need to have the people with the
same work, ethic, goals and thefinancial mindset with that
part.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
What about it?
Speaker 3 (18:21):
The investment part.
So even with the financialmindset, there's a lot of people
that probably would be excitedabout it, but can't invest the
same way as you.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Which is fine.
But see, this is the thing whenyou're putting together a team
and I've done this in the pastand this is basically how I do
business- you do it now.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
No, I've done it in the past.
You still do it now.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
No, I've done it in the past, you still do it now.
No, no, no, see, hold on.
No, no, no, not even that.
What it is is yes, I hear whatyou're saying, but you jumped
the gun.
What I'm saying is this If Ihave the bread and this is what
I'm taking away from that firstexperience with Urban Engine If
I have the bread, that's my roleThen you have to go and get the
(19:07):
pieces, the product and theproduction, whatever it is, it
costs money, right, right.
So if you have the, theknow-how and the money, you up.
If you have the money but theperson that knows how to put it
together, you up.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
You understand what I'm saying so so that's my thing
.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
I don't care about the bread I've got, like, for
instance, this guy, my man, heactually he's.
He's the bread, right, thebread and the brains for most of
the way, because we've doneplenty of projects after that.
I'll get to that, but well,maybe I won't, but we've done
plenty, plenty of projects afterthat, okay, and he's always
(19:39):
been the bread because he hashis own company.
I don't have the leverage, themonetary leverage to actually
step in and make shit happen.
However, I'm a thinker.
You understand.
I will problem solve the fuckout of something.
You understand.
I will figure out where themoney's coming from.
I will figure out who we needto go to in order to get it and
(20:00):
how we need to approach it inorder to get it.
You understand.
I understand marketing to agreater degree than a lot of
people, and when I say a lot ofpeople, I'm just talking about
on our level right as far as, asfar as our context of concern
I'm not talking about this level.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
That's a different level but yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
So it's just basically trying to get the
buy-in and then putting thepieces in place.
I don't care about them,everybody just has to play their
position, and a lot of people,they either don't have the
patience, passion or thewherewithal to actually see it
through.
You know, and what's so ill toois I'll bring let's say, I
bring you into something.
That's something that I'llbring you into.
(20:40):
I'll always break off some typeof equity or partnership.
Okay, you into.
I always break off some type ofequity or partnership.
Okay, have to, because you gotto have some skin in the game.
Absolutely, you understand, butwe are short-sighted as people,
you know.
I mean, we don't.
You telling me about money wehaven't even made yet.
You know stock options in thelate 90s, the early 2000s that
(21:03):
was a pardon, because it evengoes back as far as Microsoft In
the internet boom, that wholestock options.
You didn't make bread, you wasanswering phones.
You know how he got you toanswer the phone.
Check it out.
I'm going to give you 600shares.
Shares ain't worth shit rightnow, but as soon as they do
their IPO, you up Microsoftsecretaries.
(21:26):
A million is after after theydid their IPO.
Apple million is after they didtheir IPO and any subsequent
web, whatever that came afterthat.
They did an IPO, they were paid.
You can, you can't, sell peopleon the promise nowadays because
they need to see the we're.
So.
We're so much under pressureright now financially, that part
(21:47):
I need the bread now.
Give me my money right now.
Give me my money.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Give me my money and I guess that like where we are
now, just with society.
What was?
What's going on?
It's important to have peoplearound you with the same goals
same mindset same ethic becauseyou ain't finding that for real.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Nah, big facts can we get into the relationship stuff
, the relationship shit, pickingthat partner, yeah, that
partner.
That part of it is rough thiscould be an unlimited episode.
You know how?
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Yeah, this could go on, and on, and on, and on and
on.
Yeah, sharing the same corevalues, lifestyle expectations
and long-term plans.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
With your partner.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
With your partner.
I feel like the thing that alot of people miss on, that is,
everybody's going to evolve andgrow.
So even though me and you agreeright now, I may wake up
tomorrow and feel different.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
That's why I need the paper signed.
Sign that fucking paper.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
But even with that, it has to be some type of
communication too.
I can't just change my mind andleave you out there like that.
There has to be a talk.
There has to be some type oflike my expectations is
communication, like, let me know.
So I'm not in this, thinkingthat we're going this way and
you've made a decision to gohere and I'm still putting in
(23:11):
all this work like we're on thesame goal.
So communication is super huge.
Um, core values everybody'sbrought up different.
Everybody's raised different.
I was brought up initially witha single mother.
Then I had a stepfather.
I was in a two-parent household, want the best.
Some people do great, which?
Just one like everybody hasdifferent values.
We have different familytraditions and expectations, all
that.
All that stuff we're bringingit to the table with somebody
(23:32):
else and it's always going to besomething that don't mesh yeah
so then the communication needsto come in long-term plant like
do you want kids?
do you want to buy a house?
Do you want a business?
You want to be an entrepreneur,you want to stay home and I Do.
You want a business, you wantto be an entrepreneur, you want
to stay home and I work.
And like the communication isfucking the foundation for
everything.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
So, it's definitely, and I think that yeah, your
blueprint as far asrelationships are concerned,
them shits have to align.
You get what I'm saying?
Because, if it doesn't like,for instance, just like you said
, if, Because, if it doesn'tlike, for instance, just like
you said, if I want to be anentrepreneur, I'm going to be an
entrepreneur.
Now are you?
Going to fall to those dreamsyou get what I'm saying, Like
I'm not a slouch.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
Right, right, right.
I work for my money.
Right, are you going to be okaywith me being busy and not
being up under you, not callingevery second?
Right?
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Are you going to be okay, that person you know doing
something that's in the samevertical as you, go go explain
them all, all right.
So, boom, you're songwriting,ok right.
So if I were, a songwriter.
I'm a data songwriter, becausewho else would understand me as
much as that person?
Would they understand the time?
What Go ahead?
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Okay, nope, I see where you're going with this you
know what I mean.
So I'm under the.
This is my thing.
A creative has to be withanother creative 100% 100%.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Now.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
It don't have to be the same type of creative.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
No it does, though it kind of does.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
To me it does, though .
Speaker 2 (25:01):
It kind of does you have to break it down to the
granular level and then what itis is like, for instance, if
you're a YouTuber, you'recreative, right, right, I'm a
songwriter, I'm a creative, ok,right.
But those things don'tnecessarily intertwine.
So what would have to do, whatwould have to happen with these
creative minds is this You'relike all right, cool, I'm a
(25:24):
YouTuber, I need music to do.
X, y and Z.
Right, I'm a songwriter, butI'm like I'm trying to get out
here and, you know, writeGrammy-worthy things I don't
have time to do.
You get what I'm saying.
So it kind of has to be closerto that.
Niggas are sensitive about theyshit.
(25:44):
No, absolutely right.
So if I'm writing like grungeR&B and you like nigga, that's
not even my lane come on grungeyeah, you gonna be like nah,
that shit ain't gonna work.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
I still feel like there's some type of lenience
and understanding, just justbeing with another creative
right, the understanding thatyou are a creative in your own
right and I am that just thatunderstanding alone will take
you far than being with somebodythat's grounded.
There's nine to five every day.
I go to work for the man and Idon't switch jobs.
(26:20):
I'm gonna retire, I got apension and a 401k Like that's
completely different than youbeing a YouTuber and I'm a
songwriter.
I still understand your driveand your passion and like just
those key, those core values.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Understood.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
So, just off that strength alone, I'm going to
respect you as a creative andlet you create how you freely
want to.
You don't always have to alignwith mine, because then you're
going to be over here in my shitand I'm gonna be like can you
go create the fuck?
Speaker 2 (26:50):
over there and let me do my shit.
Well, talk to me about allright.
So let me give you anotherscenario.
You're creative, right, but I'mnot.
But I love you.
So how does the no, no, no, no,no.
So I want to be clear.
Let's go.
Being a creative does not meanthat you're a starving artist.
(27:10):
Maybe you are, maybe yourartistry doesn't pay you, but it
doesn't mean that you'recompletely destitute.
Because what's happening?
I'm actually getting right.
I'm getting, I'm getting acheck.
I know how to take care of myfamily.
I'm getting a check.
I know how to take care of myfamily.
I'm getting a check.
But what does the support looklike?
How does that work?
(27:34):
And how do you align yourselfwith somebody that's going to,
again, like I say, foster yourdreams.
I can't be with somebody thatdoesn't have that, can't dream
outside of that.
Nine to five.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
I'll put.
I'll use myself as an example.
So I feel like my lastrelationship I was married to a
non-creative.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
And it drove me crazy , because I was in the studio
all the time prior to ourrelationship, the relationship
that I was in beforehand.
He was a musician.
So, me going to the studio wasnever an issue.
He was interested in my music.
He kind of he came to my shows.
He was very supportive.
We didn't get along with othershit.
But I moved on to somebody thatI felt was meeting a need that
(28:12):
I okay.
So I knew what it was like tohave a creative side met, but I
didn't know what it was like toget to be emotionally available
and like have other needs met.
So I put the creative stuff tothe side because I was
experiencing something new.
But once I got that I still hadthat urge to create and once
that came out, it wasn'tsupported, and I was so used to
(28:34):
getting but you think that thatwas maybe rooted in security as
opposed to it.
It could have been, but I wasso used to like I, I think I
automatically transferred okayhe's gonna.
When I go to the studio, it'snot gonna be a problem, because
it could have been.
But I was so used to like, Ithink I automatically
transferred Okay he's going.
When I go to the studio, it'snot going to be a problem
because and it was a problem-and.
I ended up not going Likecompletely stopped.
I stopped writing, stoppedgoing to the studio, stopped
(28:56):
making music.
I focused on the household,tried to make it work, tried to
suppress it to make it work, andthat shit ain't work for me.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
I think it's kind of like.
I think it's kind of like whenyou go to a strip club, you meet
a stripper.
It's cool when y'all startdating right, and then a couple
of months later you're like,alright, you're going to have to
stop that.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
Don't stop shaking it .
Niggas is coming at me.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Yeah, I don't like it , but you liked it.
Though that's how you met her,you liked it.
I feel personally that's alittle unfair to you.
I don't like drive killers.
You know what I mean.
Don't kill my drive.
Right Find your drive, don'tkill mine.
Right, right, right, youunderstand.
Like I had the idea of this Um,this is what I wanted to do.
(29:42):
I knew how I was going to do it.
Right, you were okay with it.
When you met me, you thoughtthe shit was sexy, blah, blah,
blah.
You know what I mean.
And then, a couple of monthslater, it's like yeah, no, about
that thing that you do.
Nah, I don't think.
I think that we don't realizewhen we're killing somebody's
(30:03):
drive, like somebody could cometo me right now with the most
and it's outside of arelationship, but somebody can
come to me right now with themost ridiculous idea.
You know what I'm going to doSupport it, no, no.
But I am going to try to firmit up though.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
I'm not going to sit there and just poke holes in it
and I have friends that canattest to that.
Yeah, you come to me withsomething, especially, you know,
being older I don't think thatI know anybody, you know that
has like outlandish ideas thatjust think that, you know,
riding in the car upside down isa good idea and this is how
we're gonna do it.
I'm like what, what problem arewe solving with that that part?
(30:43):
So I don't have friends likethat that come to me with that.
But if you come to me withsomething I would deem to be
ridiculous, I'm not going tokill your dreams.
Let's try to talk through itand firm it up.
That's what I would do.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
Communication is key in everything.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
A lot of people get the communication thing confused
too.
They think that communicatingis just talking.
You got to know how tocommunicate.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Right, and you got to know how to receive it too.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
You got to know your audience.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
Sometimes you have to learn how to say the hard thing
and hear the hard thing too.
Everybody can't do both.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Both Sorry, damn I'm sorry, I was feeling
uncomfortable.
I don't think that you shouldhave did that to me in that
moment.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
Some people have to learn to say the difficult thing
and hear the difficult thing.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Amen to that and everybody cannot do both.
Amen to that.
You are so fucking.
No, but the remix was crazy.
I like it.
I like it.
I like the remix.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
And it's like so to our next point, the
communication.
Like you said, if the okaynesschanged with me going to the
studio, it should have beencommunicated, but it wasn't.
I felt a shift, I felt the lackof support.
I felt it wasn't a hey, I don'tfeel comfortable with you going
(31:58):
to the studio.
I don't know what it is, itwon't, none of that.
It was just a shift.
So with the communication, likeI said, you got to be able to
say the thing.
That's difficult for you to beall right, and if you holding it
, the resentment is going toshow.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
Let me see the biggest downfall in business and
personal relationships is poorcommunication, and this is true,
just like you say, all right,look for relationships,
discussing, discussing financialexpectations, roles and
responsibilities early.
Yes, because I guess that'sjust basically shoring up what
communicate like you met.
(32:34):
Yeah, you met me.
Listen, you met me in a stripclub.
I had that elephant trunk thongon, feel me, and I was just
basically doing my.
I'm just saying I was doing my.
I'm just saying I was doing myKevin Hart the daddy when he was
going through the aisle, I wasdoing that and you thought the
shit was cute, right, hold on.
And then four months later youlike yo about that Tarzan swing,
(32:59):
we not doing that, no more.
And I'm like hold on, wait aminute.
Well, at least I ain't sellingpics of my feet.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
I'll punch you in your gray.
I will punch you in yourmotherfucking gray.
If y'all ain't seen thatepisode, just punch yourself in
your feet.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
I wish I could sell pictures of my feet.
You understand where I'm goingwith this.
Alright, it's a whole othertopic.
No, but that whole thing let'stalk about.
Let's put a personal touch onit.
Sure, hold on, I had anotherfoot joke in my head, but I'm
going to leave it alone.
So let's put a personal touchon it.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
If y'all see this motherfucking next episode.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
He ain't got none of this shit y'all know what the
fuck happened all this shit?
Speaker 2 (33:51):
just gone, yeah yeah, so my, my wife is a creative
right.
Shout out to height and heels.
That I've been saying, likeevery other episode every
fraudian every yeah, that wholething, fraudian slip and all of
that.
But, um, she's a creative and Ithank god that she's a creative
(34:12):
because the struggles and theshit that I go through I don't
have to.
I'm not whining and you knowwhatever crying on her shoulder,
but I can mention it and she'llunderstand exactly where I'm
coming from.
You understand and we can helpeach other out.
We do help each other out withregards to editing and all this
other stuff.
Even though we're on, we do twodifferent things, but neither
(34:35):
here nor there I don't thinkthat I could have married a
woman.
That's not a creep Right, oreven it's not a mistake, listen,
I could right.
Or even, uh, it's not a mistake, uh, you listen.
I could go as far as to say anentrepreneur.
Right, because shout outs to allthe nine to fivers like I'm a
nine to five or two as am I yeah, but I'm, I'm part of the
(34:57):
underground railroad too, so I'mhustling we hustling
motherfuckers up out of there,you know, to get to where we
need to go, to promised land,you know, take it back to 1950s,
but you know, flip that shit onhis head whereby we're the
master, and you know we're ableto do that thing Right.
(35:18):
But yeah, like I said, just Idon't think that I could have
married anybody else that wasn'tentrepreneur or a creative, you
know, and I lucked out and gotboth you know.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
So discussing the, just just discussing things
early keeps all the bullshitaway later.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
I mean it can, but there's only but.
So much you can discuss upfront, Because, remember, just
like you say, we're evolving allthe time.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
Shit changes, but as a creative, you like you said
we're evolving all the time.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Shit changes, amen.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
But as a creative.
You understand shit changes.
You might not know what it isbut, you know, as a creative,
you're evolving all the time.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Yeah, all the time it is part of your lexicon when
you're a creative or anentrepreneur, because you
constantly have to do so,because you constantly have to
do so.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
But if you're talking about shit early, you can talk
to your partner or your friend,your business partner, your
romantic partner about the waysthat they are able to support,
so you can see where they'relacking and get the support
elsewhere.
If they're not able to do that,though, yeah.
So, like as a like Shadra's aconcert creator, we do
podcasting and I do music Likewe're all, and if I can't
(36:25):
support you in a podcast in oneweek, I can say that and that
will allow you to kind of getyour support elsewhere and get
your needs met and not solelydepend on what you're expecting
from me.
If I can communicate that, youcan pivot like you need to and
it won't be such a burden and itwon't catch you off guard.
It won't be a hindrance becauseI won't catch you off guard.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
it won't be a hindrance because I've
communicated what I can andcan't do, right so if you don't
always want to have to, you know, step up to the podium and and
communicate certain things.
Ie, you know support in certainposts and stuff like that and
you know, which is a whole otherstory.
But, um, you don't want.
(37:06):
What the fuck is she doing?
Upstairs you hear thunder footupstairs fucking 1.30 in the
morning, this bitch getting upto get donuts.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
I almost want to move the table like over, just in
case the bitch come through thefloor nah, nah, that's a lawsuit
.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Like the chick that couldn't get into the fucking
cab, we, we, good.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
I ain't breaking my neck.
That bitch is not finna fall onme.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
I'll push you out the way.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
But yeah, we gotta let her come through the ceiling
.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
And then we got the cameras and all of that.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
We need to catch all of that and you know that yeah.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
I don't know what I was talking about.
Cause bitch, I got a concussion.
Shut the hell up.
I had a fucking concussion.
What are you?
Speaker 2 (37:49):
manifesting, knowing when to walk away when a
partnership isn't serving youanymore.
How do you, professionally orpersonally, move without burning
bridges?
Speaker 3 (37:59):
Man, I keep a matching gas with Egan.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
But see, that's the fucked up thing I know, I keep
because, and and when shit goeson with me and I tell you, the
first thing you tell me is likeyo, you're gonna have to temper
all of that.
You can't, and I'll be wantingto.
I'll be wanting to because Idon't understand this is my
thing.
I don't understand how youcould do something to me, but
(38:22):
then I'm an asshole.
All right, we're gonna leave italone.
Speaker 3 (38:26):
Listen, yeah, go ahead when a partnership is not.
I've evolved into this versionof me, though lesser evolved.
Just burn the beers down.
I don't give a fuck.
I ain't never got to come backthis way, I'll go another way,
I'll find another way but now Ilook at kind of how you were
saying about your friend earlieryou're still friends.
You kind of how you were sayingabout your friend earlier
You're still friends.
(38:47):
You kind of chucked up the loss.
If the losses are outweighingthe wins, I'm okay with having a
conversation.
Now I'm really okay withsitting your ass down and really
be like, look, I can't fuckwith this shit, like I fuck with
you.
I love you, I appreciate how wegrown.
(39:08):
You gave me like greatexperience, but this can't, I
can't.
I'm sorry it might hurt yourfeelings.
I'm good with that and I don'tknow if it's as me as a
therapist being able to add thatboundary for myself, but I know
I need certain levels of peacein my life and if people aren't
bringing it, I'm okay withboundary.
You know what?
Speaker 2 (39:30):
I do, Nah, I don't need I have little ones that I
need it for.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
So that situation is different, that's different.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Yeah, oh, I'll create my own piece.
You know what I mean, even if,even if it means separation, I
create my own piece.
But that's.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
but that's the same thing, though.
Like how is that not the samething Me, you might not need to
have a conversation you said yes, I'm saying so it's not the
same thing, Cause I don't needto.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
I can create the space I don't need.
So if I need, if I need.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
I'll be on the pause part right here cause god leave
if I need the peace, I cancreate separation.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
I don't have a problem with not speaking to
niggas.
I don't understand.
What confuses me is like thatdoesn't confuse me.
I lie because it may be it maybe a misunderstanding.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
It could be a misunderstanding.
It could be, and I'm willing atthis.
I've grown to this now.
This probably won't be me a yearago.
I've grown to this, but I'mwilling to at least speak about
it so you can learn from it.
Like you know how you, mostpeople know how they fucked up,
most people know what they didwrong.
But I'm willing I'm this personnow.
(40:47):
I'm willing to have aconversation with you so you can
know how your actions affectedme.
Okay, no, I got you.
No, no, no, no, no.
This is the thing.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
This is the thing.
You, a Jedi, right now I'mstill a Padawan, you know what
I'm saying still in my emotionsand my feelings.
So I don't think that a lot ofpeople even deserve me by coming
to them, and you already know,you know how fiery I am at times
, right?
So I just feel like people arejust out to slay the dragon
First chance they get.
(41:15):
Now I don't know that you'retrying to slay the dragon until
we actually try to do somethingand you do some fugazi whack
shit and then just turn aroundand be like, oh so, you was just
trying to kick me in my nutsthe whole time.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
The reason I do what I do is because I don't want to
be a hypocrite when I help otherpeople.
I want to say that I've beenable to do a thing, get through
the emotion, actually dosomething that's serving me.
The conversation ain't fornobody else, it's for me to get
the shit off my chest how I needto and let that shit be.
You go over there and feel howyou're going to feel about it
afterwards.
But because I do what I do fora living, I don't ever want to
(41:52):
preach anything to somebody thatI can't actually do.
I'm glad they don.
I don't give advice, I providea perspective.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
All right.
Well, whatever, I don't want tosee it from a different angle,
I am fine.
I'm not telling you to see itfrom a different angle, I'm fine
.
And until I do grow out of it,I probably will continue to lose
people, right?
But the smaller the circle, theeasier it is for me to keep my
eye on motherfuckers anyway.
So that's how I look at it, youknow, and I'm listen.
(42:24):
Bringing this back to pickingwell, where were we?
Speaker 3 (42:30):
Know when to walk away.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
Know when to walk away professionally or personal,
without burning bridges.
Speaker 3 (42:41):
That's a mouthful, but that's why I decide to have
the conversation, because I'mgoing to leave that on you.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
But see, that's the thing.
I can't have the conversationbecause most can't handle the
conversation.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
I agree.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
And then that turns into something else.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
It don't have to, because once I see that you
ain't being receptive, I'm goingto leave, see, but this is the
thing though.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Now you're saying that, right, you're going to
have have the conversation, butthen you also want to try to
dictate how they react to thisconversation that you feel that
you need to have with them.
They don't feel like you needto have it with them.
Remember, these are the per,these are the people that
perpetrated whatever it was onyou.
They did that you understandwhat I'm saying.
So now, you now feel like youneed to have a conversation with
(43:23):
them.
They didn't feel like theyneeded to have a conversation
when they did what the fuck theydid.
Yeah, like you can fuck out ofhere, I'm not raising adults.
Suck my Sorry, I didn't mean it.
I didn't mean it.
I didn't mean it, but that'swhere I'm at with it, but I you
know, I feel you Like, Iunderstand and we're always like
.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
Here I get that.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
That's how the motherfuckers talking about.
I need to apologize.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
I ain't apologizing, no, I'm not saying that, but
this is the thing.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
I don't feel like I'm getting back on to the adult
level.
I don't feel like I need toexplain to you or get closure
with regards to something thatyou did.
That's just where I'm at withit, and I would rather fade to
black and not speak to you.
(44:10):
You understand what I'm saying,because to me it's like oh, you
didn't give a fuck, guess what?
Me neither With a V, me neither.
Speaker 3 (44:21):
I just feel like it depends on what the relationship
is.
I guess, If it's somebody new,you can get the fuck on.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
I do it with people that are old too.
I do With history, because ithurts worse when it's actually
somebody you have history with.
Reason being is because youknow me, you know my body, and
the first thing people want todo when you come out, your mouth
or whatever, is attack yourcharacter.
(44:49):
Can't attack my character.
My resume is long anddistinguished, you understand.
I'm saying I show up when I'msupposed to show up, absolutely,
and I'm not talking about in aphysical sense and in every
sense.
I show up when I have to showup, right, right.
And the moment that you callout and you don't whatever show
up when you're supposed to showup, when I have to show up,
right, right.
And the moment that you callout and you don't whatever, show
up when you're supposed to showup, I'm not supposed to feel
(45:10):
some type of way.
Then I gotta approach you, Igotta talk to you about what you
did to me.
Now I'm good overstood.
Take that shit up the block.
Okay, they got the two forfives up the block.
Speaker 3 (45:21):
I'm not nah now that we talked about what makes or
breaks a partnership, let's talkabout some resources.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
OK, let's do it.
So we got got a couple of booksactually the Partnership
Charter by David Gage, a guideto building successful business
partnerships All right.
Crucial Conversations that'syour thing, right.
Partnerships all right um.
Crucial conversations that'syour thing, right, um.
(45:49):
By kerry patterson masteringtough conversations in business
and relationships.
Now what I do is this I'm bigon audible.
I don't have time to sit downand thumb through a book because
one I I think that I have.
Adhd.
Swear to god, I do, becauseI'll sit down.
Speaker 3 (46:03):
Nah, they don't, they just making another donut run.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
So yo shit.
What is she walking on herelbows?
This bitch is army crawling tothe fucking refrigerator.
Anyway, outside of that, I'mbig on audible.
Okay, you know I commute to.
It's crazy.
Anyway, outside of that, I'mbig on Audible.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
Okay, you know I commute to and fro.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
It's crazy, she got the GI Joe theme music in the
background, oh yeah, all right,knock it off.
I'm trying to finish this up.
I am big on Audible.
I've been trying to get thatout.
Pause.
So if you commute to and fromwork, these are things that you
need to put on your list ofbooks to actually read, all
(46:54):
right.
So we also have online tools.
These are very important.
We didn't touch on a legalperspective, but Rocket Lawyer
create legal contracts forbusiness partnerships.
That's important.
All right, we really didn'ttalk about that, but we'll get
back to that.
The Rocket Lawyerentrepreneurcom articles on how
to vet a business partner thoseare very, very important because
(47:17):
again, yeah, because I don'tshow up as a person that went to
school for this shit, all right.
So you and I, we school for thisshit, all right.
So you and I, we're actuallylearning together, all right.
So I might say some shit that'sabsolutely incorrect, and if I
did, I'm not, I'm a, I'm humanand I do, yeah, and I do want to
learn exactly.
You can always coach up, so youcan hit us in the comments, dms
(47:40):
, whatever.
So if you feel like we missedsomething, please let us know,
all right, dms, whatever.
So if you feel like we missedsomething, please let us know.
Alright, and that's all I havefor the tools, okay so
evaluating compatibility andavoiding toxic partnerships that
shit say 15 minutes, ain't.
Speaker 3 (47:54):
No fucking way ain't no way defining your
non-negotiables for romanticpartners, discussing core values
, future goals and lifestylecompatibility.
You gave a resource.
I think you gave this onebefore.
I don't know the author seemsfamiliar.
What's?
Speaker 2 (48:07):
that Amir Levine.
Speaker 1 (48:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:09):
Understanding attachment styles and how they
affect.
It's called Attached.
The resource is called Attached.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Not.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
Amir Levine, understanding attachment styles
and how they affectrelationships.
So there's different types ofattachment styles.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
It's a really good book.
Types of attachment styles.
It's a really good book.
I read it with barbie from letme touch your podcast.
Um, she has an entire seasonbased on this book, so if you
feel like you need a a deeperdive into it outside of what it
is contextually, definitely gocheck out let me touch your
podcast so he has another.
Speaker 3 (48:40):
No, I'm looking because you have the the david
gage up here.
So, for business partners,defining your non-negotiables,
speak about vision, work ethic,financial transparency and,
again, the resources, thepartnership chartered by David
Gage.
So real, quick, understanding,communication styles and
conflict resolution.
How do you and your partnerhandle calm?
Speaker 2 (49:00):
We don't argue.
That's like rule number one forme.
I'm not arguing okay right,because the thing is she's a
pisces, I'm a leo, so when weargue, you already know
everybody's trying to go for thew.
Everybody wants to w.
You don't have to get a w everytime.
Well, I do, but not with theperson, right, that I'm laying
(49:25):
down with.
Okay, not with the personthat's actually raising my kids
so it doesn't even have to be anargument.
Speaker 3 (49:30):
So, like up here, are they avoiding aggressive
solution focus, like it doesn'teven have to be an argument.
But how do you handle it, man,if you don't argue?
What does conflict resolutionlook like?
Speaker 2 (49:40):
we have to wait until cooler heads prevail, okay, you
know, and when I, and when Isay that, I mean like yo, we can
.
I'm funny, pause, not funnylike that.
Speaker 3 (49:52):
I'm about to say it's a whole bunch of entendres
because what funny you got tospecify the funny.
Speaker 2 (49:57):
Specify.
Well, I'm funny, weird.
Speaker 3 (50:00):
How about you find me comedic too?
Speaker 2 (50:02):
Yeah, that too.
But um, and you just, I justtry to like get her to smile or
whatever and shit like that.
She's a foodie, Food alwaysmakes her happy.
Speaker 3 (50:12):
That's a woman treat, you get those endorphins going.
Speaker 1 (50:15):
That's a woman treat.
Speaker 2 (50:17):
You know, and this is real shit, that's like I can't
give you a textbook way of doingit.
You would only you have to knowyour audience.
So whoever your partner is, youknow right, whatever that sweet
spot happens to be um tools forimproving communication?
Speaker 3 (50:32):
um include active listening techniques.
Um a resource could be the fivelove languages by gary chapman
um to help you understand yourpartner, how your partner
expresses love and support.
So as a therapist, I say like Idon't like the five love
languages only because what theyleft one out.
No, because I feel like don'trelegate me to two.
(50:54):
I'm not taking a test Like Ineed all of them and I would
expect but there's nobody sayingthat you can't.
No, right, right, right, right,right, right.
But in the book it asks you totake a test to see what your top
two are.
That might not be my top twoevery day, so listen, listen,
listen With a partner.
I would want my partner to beattentive enough and in tune
(51:14):
enough to know what I need thatday, but it is a good resource
to figure out what your lovelanguage is, and usually, when
you figure out your lovelanguage, that's how you give it
.
Speaker 2 (51:29):
You give what you want in return, you're not
giving what your partner's lovelanguage is all biblical.
Anyway, get to the recognizingthe red flags you can talk about
the romantic partnerships, I'lltalk about the business
partnerships okay andrecognizing red flags and
romantic relationships.
Speaker 3 (51:42):
pay attention to the lack of support, inconsistency
and misaligned goals.
When they don't celebrate yourwins, they belittle your dreams
or undermine your hustle.
Speak up about it Like when younotice it.
Don't let that shit ride.
If you feel funny, do not sitthere and just act like you
don't have a voice.
If you're in a relationship andyou have a partnership, you
should have an equal say in yourfeelings.
(52:04):
You should be able to feel safe.
Hopefully you're in a safespace where you're able to speak
on how you feel, how you'vebeen made to feel, and hopefully
y'all can have a resolutionabout it.
But pay attention to yourintuition.
You will know when somebody'strying to shade your ass and
they're not being supportive.
Speaker 2 (52:20):
All right.
So as far as red flags areconcerned with business
partnerships, lack ofaccountability, financial
secrecy and poor communication,it all reads scam.
Scam yeah you just got hit withthe me too.
People scam, you know theydon't follow through on
commitments.
That's a big thing too,especially if they told you like
(52:42):
yo, one of my biggest things isyou give me something, you tell
me to do something, or we sitdown and discuss something, I'm
on it, so they don't followthrough with that, or you got to
chase them down and figure outwhat.
You know what's going on with X, y and Z, and there's only four
you guys in the group.
That's a problem.
Yeah, all right, or they avoidtough conversations about money.
Now, if they're avoiding toughconversations about money,
(53:06):
that's a red banner.
That's like just a global.
Yeah, paint the whole fuckingtown.
Speaker 1 (53:14):
Everything is red.
Speaker 2 (53:20):
Reason being is because when they came to you
with the idea and they ran thewhatever thought they had,
thoughts they had as far aswhere it was going to go or
where it would land and what ittook to take off and they could
easily rattle this stuff offthen you come back to them later
and they can't.
They hemming and hawing redflag.
Leave them alone.
Speaker 3 (53:39):
Leave them alone spell that I know all right, all
right testing the waters beforewe go all in for business.
Speaker 2 (53:49):
Start with small projects before becoming fully
committed.
All right, um, that is withanything.
I know that when we come upwith an idea, the first thing we
want to do is, like we look atit like, oh, I could get 50
grand in 60 days and we all inCan't do it like that.
You cannot do it like that.
You need proof of conceptbefore you do anything.
(54:10):
All right, which means the bestway to eat an elephant is bite,
bite, bite, bite.
That's it, I'm tired.
Bite, bite, bite.
Look, I knew the phrase and Ididn't even catch the merch I'm
like yeah, nigga, exactly, I'mwith it.
(54:31):
All right.
One of the best resources forbusiness entrepreneurs is Forbes
.
Right, there's an articlecalled how to Vet a Business
Partner, all right.
Right, there's an articlecalled how to vet a business
partner, all right.
And for relationships engagingin activities that reveal
character, like travel together,handle a different, uh
(54:53):
difficult, situation, I thinktraveling together is another.
That's big.
I think we need a whole episodeon that, just just on that.
But, um, yeah, right, okay, andbefore we wrap it up, let's
give y'all some reason.
It's a lot of fucking resources.
Anyway, like I said, we're notshowing up as know-it-alls.
We don't know it all.
(55:14):
However, you can definitely veteverything that we say, or even
expand on things that we pleasedo, we, you know, tell you and
stuff like that, with theseresources.
So, before we wrap it up, let'sgive y'all some resources to
help you navigate partnershipsin business and love.
Speaker 3 (55:32):
So, with relationships, you've got the
five love languages, like wetalked about earlier, by Gary
Chapman.
You have Crucial Conversationsby Carrie Patterson.
We mentioned these two before.
Then they have some assessmentsthat you can take, like some
simple tests that you and yourpartner can take with each other
to figure out your personalitytypes and just your preferences.
So you have the MBTI you findout your personality types, how
(55:54):
they affect relationships andbusiness partnerships.
You have the DISC the D-I-S-CPersonality test is great for
business partnerships and how tounderstand work styles.
You want to talk about the appsand platforms.
Yeah, apps and platforms.
Speaker 2 (56:04):
Yeah, have some platforms, so we have Trello and
Asana.
Stay organized and, well, stayorganized when collaborating
with a business partner.
Those are great because you canactually have team members come
in on projects that you'redoing and you guys can work on
it in real time, and or you canactually work on it
independently, but proofeverybody's work.
(56:25):
Relish, a relationship coachingapp for couples.
I'm going to need to check thatout.
I'm going to have to check itout too.
I heard it out, I'm going tohave to look at that.
Founders Dating a platform forentrepreneurs looking for
business partners.
Speaker 3 (56:39):
It's super dope.
Speaker 2 (56:40):
It is super dope, but I don't know how much I trust
it All right and Legal it issuper dope, but I don't know how
much I trust it All right andlegal and financial tools we
already went over Rocket Lawyerbecause you got to get yourself
a lawyer Right and what they do?
What they do is I'm bugging andI'm tired.
Scratch down Rocket Lawyertemplates for creating business
(57:01):
contracts.
How about that?
You don't go there if you'regoing to jail or somebody's
suing you.
That's not what you're goingthere for.
They're not going to give you alawyer.
Anyway, Honeydew, a budgetingapp for couples I'm going to
look at that.
That's crazy.
Okay, Final thoughts Trust Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 3 (57:22):
No, I'll give you a break.
You got that.
Yeah, us go.
Okay, go ahead.
Go ahead now I'll give you abreak, you gotta.
Yeah, we've been in this shitall day fighting it out um.
Trust and communication andaligned goals are the foundation
of any successful partnershipromantic, business, friends,
pastor and friends.
Whether in business or love,choosing the right partner can
make or break your success.
Again Again, the listenerchallenge.
(57:43):
We will have these every week,so get ready, be in it.
Your challenge for this weekreflect on your current
partnerships romantic, businessor friendships and how they are
aligned with your current goalsand value.
Please be aware that you guyswill evolve, so it takes
communication to talk about whenthings change, when the idea
(58:04):
that you liked before ain't theone you own now, speak about it
so that you guys can stayaligned.
Share your thoughts with usthough.
Use the hashtagHustleAndHealPartners on social
media, dm us like it.
Put comments under the postEngage.
Let us know how things aregoing and let us know how we can
help.
Speaker 2 (58:32):
Listen, I'm having a ball doing this.
All right, we're getting out ofhere.
Follow us on hustling hill oninstagram and tiktok, share your
favorite part of the episodeand tag us.
All right, don't forget tosubscribe, rate and review and
we catch our guys on the nextone.
Speaker 3 (58:44):
I'm Bless Jess.
Speaker 2 (58:46):
Peace, peace yeah.
Speaker 1 (58:49):
That's a wrap on another episode of Hustle Heal,
where real talk meets realtransformation.
If today's convo hit homeinspired a shift or just made
you feel seen, do us a solidSubscribe, leave a review and
share it with someone who needsto hear it.
Stay locked in with themovement and follow us at hustle
and heal on instagram, tiktok,youtube and everywhere else you
(59:12):
scroll.
And if you want to tap in withyour host, you can find just at
bless, just and styles at styles, underscore, bk across all
platforms, because healing ain'tsoft and hustling ain't selfish
.
This is the work, this is theway, every damn day.
In dealing with daily life, we come across two types
of people who seek to changelives Hustlers, who are about
making it in life no matter what, and the healers, who dedicate
their time and energy to helpingthe collective.
These are their representatives.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I know what you thought you was going to hear.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
But this ain't that, where the grind meets growth.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
This is Hustle Heal.
So here's the thing Between thebrunch I went.
Now I still don't know how tostart a fucking show, Clearly.
Yeah, we out here just lookingcrazy.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Me neither.
I feel like at this pointpeople should know what to
expect, because they've seen usnow in thrice different
environments, differentscenarios, like we've evolved in
front of people.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
All right, so let's get the show on the road.
Listen, my name is Stiles and Iam Blessed Jess, and this is
Hustlin' Hill.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
Let's go so on this episode we'll be talking about
success in life and business andhow it often hinges on the
people you surround yourselfwith.
Also, we'll be deep diving intothe dynamics of finding the
right partners, whether romanticor professional.
We will discuss how to alignvalues, set healthy boundaries
and avoid common pitfalls whenchoosing who to build with, both
(01:23):
in life and in business.
So every week, we will have alistener challenge, and this
week, what we want you to dowhile you're listening to our
episode today is to reflect onyour current partnerships
romantic, business and orfriendships and see how they are
aligned with your values andyour goal, with your values and
your goal.
(01:43):
Kabish, kabish, kabish.
So, styles, tell me about atime when a partnership, whether
romantic or business, wentreally well or really wrong.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
A friend of mine started this.
Uh, we, that's a really goodquestion and I don't fucking
know.
I thought I had an answer, Allright.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
I don't, I don't think I've ever like really done
a Well, is it?
Well, I guess, partnerships,are we talking about just
relationships or just like abusiness relationship then?
Speaker 1 (02:14):
I mean either let's not go with the relationship I
was about to say because I gotplenty that's gone wrong.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Yeah, nah, nah, nah.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
It's too early for that, but I too early for that.
Alright, so we had a web portalthat we had started or was
starting for Urban Engine.
I didn't know anything aboutthe interwebs or anything like
that, and I'm talking like thiswas maybe.
I hate that page, so this ismaybe like For real, maybe like
(02:43):
you know.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Ask Jeeves For real.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
These kids don't even know Jeeves.
Who the fuck is Jeeves nigga?
Yahoo was a search engine.
Who was actually using Yahoo?
Yahoo?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
was a search engine and it was Yahoo.
Speaker 3 (03:04):
We was actually using it.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
We were.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
Google was not even a thing for real.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
High speed internet was called a T1, and they had to
physically put that cable inyour house.
Anyway, off that, we came upwith this web portal called
Urban Engine.
Okay, it was going to be a shop, a digital shopping mall online
.
It was going to be a shop, adigital shopping mall online, so
akin to an Amazon right now,but more like what you do, your
(03:31):
VR goggles that you have now.
Technology wasn't there, but wewere big dreamers, anywho.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Nigga, you could have been that motherfucker.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Listen, it was the internet bubble time before it
burst.
But anyway, what we did wasthis I got with a bunch of
people.
A friend of mine came to mewith the idea.
I took it to another friend ofmine who actually had the bread
to get it done.
I put them in a room together.
They worked it out.
Then I went and got some otherpeople for, like, some software
(04:04):
engineers and stuff like that.
Needless to say, I got squeezedout of the deal and that's
still my man to today.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Is the business successful still?
Speaker 2 (04:12):
No, that's not to say that it wasn't, because it was,
and they did a couple of thingswith it before they let it fall
to the wayside, but that's oneof my harrowing stories.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Okay, so in the beginning, what made the
partnership work?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
It was the chemistry.
So basically it was a I don'twant to say it was a bunch of
hood educated dudes, but it wasmore or less like that.
I worked on Wall Street at thetime at a copy shop, right, I
was actually taking orders atthat time.
Then I converted to asalesperson because I was like,
(04:48):
oh, there's more money in this,let's do that.
And I met him from canvassingyou know, canvas in different
buildings and stuff like that,trying to get some accounts.
So I met.
That was how I met one.
The other one.
He was one of my accounts.
He worked for prudentialsecurity, okay so he was like yo
I got to.
He was a of my accounts.
He worked for PrudentialSecurity.
Okay, so he was like yo, I gotthis.
(05:09):
He was a young dude.
We was all young at that time.
Yes, I was once young we wasall young.
I hear you, jeeves, yeah, youknow.
So after a couple of LongIsland iced teas at 5 o'clock
every day, he was like yo,styles, styles.
I got this idea, like, oh, Ilike the idea, I got this guy
that does this.
(05:29):
Let me put y'all together, putthem together.
They worked out whatever theyworked out.
Um, you know what's so funny?
I should have seen it coming,because they squeezed him out
before they squeezed me out.
Yeah, he was out of here beforethat and then, after they
squeezed him out, I was next tomine here before that and then,
after they squeezed him out, Iwas next to fine, of course, but
these were your personalfriends.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Yeah, what were the red flags?
You missed?
Speaker 2 (05:54):
I didn't know anything about business.
Okay, I didn't know.
I knew how the corporate worldworked with regards to you know.
You fill out this application,you get a job and you were
slaved forever.
I knew how that worked as faras running a business and being
part of a business that I had,you know, equity in.
I didn't know anything aboutthat.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:15):
Any other ones that worked?
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Yes, ones that worked , but we'll get into that later.
But I did have one.
My brother and I actuallystarted a magazine called Whips,
chicks and Bikes, cars, womenand Motorcycles.
That worked until it didn'twork, but it worked.
It worked on the business side.
It didn't necessarily work onthe personal side.
Ok, right, so we'll get intothat later.
Speaker 3 (06:42):
OK, yeah.
So why does this topic matter?
Because success is really asolo journey, whether in
business or relationships.
The right partnerships canelevate you, while the wrong
ones can hold your bite.
So let's talk about it.
What makes a great partner andwhat are the red flags that tell
you when to walk away?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
I know it seems like we're reading everything off
here.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
We're just trying to stay on track you know, to give
you guys, because we will goleft and stay left, stay left.
So the emotional side of it,like how did you feel?
Like, did you feel like youlost a friend?
Did you?
Were you able to maintain therelationship?
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Yeah, no, it was horrible Because, again, the
numbers that we were all right.
So the friend that I have untiltoday not the guy that first
brought the idea to me, but theguy that's my friend to this day
he actually.
It was rough because we gothrough our periods of time
where we talk, we don't talk, wetalk, we don't talk, and stuff
(07:39):
like that.
So it was kind of emotional forme because he had brought me
other deals outside of that,because I sold print services
right.
So he put me in a lot ofdifferent rooms to actually make
money for my master remember,it's the corporate world, you
know I mean so he put some moneyin my pocket that way.
In terms of the the businessitself, though I was actually
(08:05):
looking for the big payday atthe end of the day as we all
know, you know.
So we looked at it, we ran somenumbers.
There was a lot of, you know.
There was some big figuresbeing thrown around.
So when I wasn't a part of thator able to be a part of that,
that shit hurt, you know, ofcourse.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
Okay.
So, throughout all of your likeyou know, okay, so throughout
all of your like your ups anddowns with your friends, did it
have a severe financial toll on?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
you Like.
Did you invest a lot?
No, I didn't See.
That was the beautiful thingabout it.
I didn't have to investanything, right?
So my skin in the game and myequity came from me putting the
pieces together.
So I knew what we needed and Iknew who had it.
In order for us to go and get itLike, for instance, we needed a
graphic designer we hopped inthe car.
Literally, my man's office wasin the old Rockefeller building
(08:51):
Rockefeller, yeah, whereRockefeller actually first
started 111.
John, he was in that samebuilding.
There was a car rental placenot too far from there.
We went, we rented a car, wespoke to the dude online or
whatever, whatever he Too farfrom there.
We went, we rented a car, wespoke to dude online or whatever
.
Whatever.
He was like, listen, this iswhat we're trying to do.
He was interested, but he wason the fence and we're all in
sales, so we got to close this.
So we went, we got a car.
(09:12):
We drove down to NC True storySame day, spoke to dude, sealed
everything and told him what wewere trying to do.
Duper interested, he was onboard.
He drove us back to new yorksame day.
I'm talking yeah, it was crazy.
Wow, yeah, so I didn't have toactually invest anything.
He was the money man.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
Right, he was the money man and the technology
behind the whole situation nowyou see why it's important to
have some type of investmentlike to be needed.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
Yeah, you can't get yeah, but the thing is I did
ignore a red flag.
One of the red flags was whenwe got rid of the guy whose idea
it was and I was like, ofcourse I'm next in line.
How could I not be next in line, right, okay, oh, that's that.
What's your perspective?
Speaker 3 (09:55):
um.
So the emotional side of endinga partnership I could.
I could see how that would bevery taxing and especially if
you are still in communicationand still in interactions with
these people, that has to belike something you really got to
pay attention to how you, howyou hold yourself when you got
to interact with these people,because you still want to be
(10:16):
professional, you still want tomaintain certain bonds.
But after that, like, how doyou even look at them the same,
how do you even deal with people?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Okay, that's actually a really good question.
I know a lot of other peopleare like yo fuck him, but it
wasn't that I didn't understandthe business behind it, right,
because what happened was when Icame in again I had all the
pieces.
He was like listen, you shouldbe the CEO.
Little did I know.
(10:45):
Ceos don't mean anything.
Their work is just likeeverybody else right.
So it doesn't mean anything, butat the time I was a title whore
.
I didn't go to him on somethinglike I need to be.
I didn't do any of that.
However, when he said it, thatshould have been a red flag too.
Reason being we never didbusiness like that before, right
(11:08):
, he's never seen me in thatcapacity, you understand, okay.
So I should have been like allright, chill, I can't do that,
but I'm just going to continuein my role of putting the pieces
together and then we work itout like that, right, okay.
But then when we got rid ofTerrence that was a guy that
actually brought the whole ideato us I should have knew the
writing was on the wall.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
So look why it's so important to trust your
instincts when something feelsoff To me I tell this to my
clients all the time yourintuition, your gut feeling, is
almost like your own personalsecurity ADT for your body, like
you might not know specificallysomething's wrong, but your
body will tell your asssomething off.
It'll be like all right, payattention.
You might not know what to payattention to at the time, but
(11:51):
your intuition is your ownpersonal debo, like to let you
know, motherfucker, something.
The fuck is going on.
You need to keep your head onthe swivel.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Big fact.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
But now do keep your head on the swivel big fact.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Um, but now I guess, now that you're older are you,
trusting your intuition, watchout with that old shit.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
You are older, nigga we are older than we started at
12 you are older but now thatyou are more experienced, right,
more, more seasoned yeah do youfeel like you trust your
intuition a little bit more?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
a lot more, actually a lot more, a lot more, and I
don't think that, I don't evensay that I don't think that, but
there have been plenty ofsituations.
I've been put in being theolder figure in the group and I
didn't take advantage of anybodylike that, not saying he did it
all, because we've had plentyof conversations, you know,
surrounding that whole situation.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
I, I personally, don't move like that and haven't
moved like that, you know Idon't know who I've heard say
this and I know I probably seenlike on tv.
Like how jewish people dobusiness.
Like they'll take each other tocourt and then go out to lunch
later because they know it'sjust business.
Like they don't take itpersonal, like you know what,
and not only that.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Yes, and what's so crazy about that is, if you have
it right, you're doing it onprinciple alone.
It has nothing to do with themoney.
So it's like I got the breadand I own the block.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
The scenario that I heard it in.
It was a situation where one ofthe friends missed something in
like a contract and the otherfriend took advantage of it and
took him to court and got money.
And the other friend didn't getmad.
He was like, got me, like thatwas my oversight it was a lesson
.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
It was a lesson.
It was a lesson.
His family's still gonna eat,he's still gonna own the block.
He still got his friend andstill got his friend.
I mean, I still have my friend.
I still have this 35 years.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
So I'm not even mad that you still have him because,
as you're, telling the story.
I'm like it sounds like howJewish people do business, like
they don't fuck around and ruinbonds over money because it
comes and goes.
You'll get it back.
Right and you learn a lessonalong the way.
So, yeah, you might have lostsome money of money, but I
taught your ass a little bitsomething more valuable no big
facts you never lose it again.
You'll never big facts fuck uplike that again.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Yeah like, for instance, like projects that I
start now.
I know for a fact what I'mgonna do.
Well, what I have been doing isbasically, like we said before,
probably on a previous episode,start on small.
Yeah, right, so I'll give.
Let's just use podcasting, forinstance, right, if it'sing, I'm
only doing, I'm only committingto like five episodes.
(14:27):
I say I'm just going to committo five episodes.
I know what I bring to thetable and I know that I'm going
to bring everything to bear withregards to that, and then we'll
work it out from there, right,right, because it gives you
enough time to work out thekinks and stuff like that.
(14:51):
I'm tired of losing friends overbusiness.
I ain't gonna hold you like.
I'm tired of losing friendsover business like I'm.
I'm, I'm a saltine fuckingcracker, like I kid you not.
And then I have to control myemotions.
You get what I'm saying and Ican't.
They're like yo styles, don'tbe that person.
I'm like, I don't want to bethat person.
But then also, I feel like youcan't judge my reaction to
(15:11):
something you did to me.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
Of course, nobody can ever tell you how they made you
feel.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Like ever.
It happens all the time.
You'd be surprised.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
So keys to keeping a strong partnership Like being
aligned with values and visionIn business.
Do you share the same work,ethic, goals and financial
mindset?
Like that's super important tohave a good financial or
business partnership and arelationship too.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
With regards to actually picking a partner,
whether it's a business, we'restaying with the business
because we're in the hustlesegment right now.
Speaker 3 (15:40):
Gotcha okay.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
Right, staying with the business.
You got to avoid the me toopeople.
I bump into a lot of me tooPeople when I say that.
I'm not talking about theoriginal way that the term was
defined.
I'm talking about the peoplewhere you're like yo, I get up
at six o'clock.
You this is coming out of yourmouth I get up at six o'clock in
the morning and then, whateverit is that I need to do, that I
(16:01):
had set the night before I getthat done right, and then if I
have something to do, listen, Igo so hard and that person's
response is me too and myresponse is bullshit.
Now, now is bullshit becauseI'm.
You bump into them all the timebecause we have to.
We have to understand that,like, if I come to you and I'm
(16:22):
excited about something, whatare you going to be?
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Excited too.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Exactly Without thinking, yeah, it just rubs off
Like, ah, excited, right, goodjob.
But what happens, though, isyou might be excited, but you're
not totally bought in as far asthe work ethic and the work
concern, because you're the onethat saw the vision.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
I didn't have a vision.
You brought it to me and Idon't see it the way you see it
Right, but what'd you say though?
Yay me too.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
There you go.
So you have to temper youremotions and evaluate it before
you can actually come out yourface and say X, y and Z right.
Yo, I lose so many fuckingfriends.
I swear to God, friend.
(17:09):
I swear to God because it'sjust like once you do something
or start something, and thenthat something doesn't come to
fruition, I'm not the nigga topush it down are you able to
shut the hell up about yourvisions then, like like a lot of
times because I'm the same waytoo, like I get excited and I
want to share with people,because I don't want the people
around me to be left behind.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
I want to bring everybody with me, and then you
get that disappointment whereyou see you can't take everybody
with you.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
Yeah, and that's the thing.
Like I'm not, I'm not agatekeeper, because I feel like
if I tell you the idea, itdoesn't matter, right?
So my million dollar idea mightbe a two million dollar idea in
your hands, which is fine,because I'm going to still get
(17:51):
my million, so I don't care.
So, holding it in for me, Ican't.
I can't hold it in, it ain'tnothing to talk about.
I can't hold it in because Iwant to, I want to keep the
momentum, and that's the thing.
I can't keep the momentum ifI'm the only one hyping myself
up.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
So you definitely need to have the people with the
same work, ethic, goals and thefinancial mindset with that
part.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
What about it?
Speaker 3 (18:21):
The investment part.
So even with the financialmindset, there's a lot of people
that probably would be excitedabout it, but can't invest the
same way as you.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Which is fine.
But see, this is the thing whenyou're putting together a team
and I've done this in the pastand this is basically how I do
business- you do it now.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
No, I've done it in the past.
You still do it now.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
No, I've done it in the past, you still do it now.
No, no, no, see, hold on.
No, no, no, not even that.
What it is is yes, I hear whatyou're saying, but you jumped
the gun.
What I'm saying is this If Ihave the bread and this is what
I'm taking away from that firstexperience with Urban Engine If
I have the bread, that's my roleThen you have to go and get the
(19:07):
pieces, the product and theproduction, whatever it is, it
costs money, right, right.
So if you have the, theknow-how and the money, you up.
If you have the money but theperson that knows how to put it
together, you up.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
You understand what I'm saying so so that's my thing
.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
I don't care about the bread I've got, like, for
instance, this guy, my man, heactually he's.
He's the bread, right, thebread and the brains for most of
the way, because we've doneplenty of projects after that.
I'll get to that, but well,maybe I won't, but we've done
plenty, plenty of projects afterthat, okay, and he's always
(19:39):
been the bread because he hashis own company.
I don't have the leverage, themonetary leverage to actually
step in and make shit happen.
However, I'm a thinker.
You understand.
I will problem solve the fuckout of something.
You understand.
I will figure out where themoney's coming from.
I will figure out who we needto go to in order to get it and
(20:00):
how we need to approach it inorder to get it.
You understand.
I understand marketing to agreater degree than a lot of
people, and when I say a lot ofpeople, I'm just talking about
on our level right as far as, asfar as our context of concern
I'm not talking about this level.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
That's a different level but yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
So it's just basically trying to get the
buy-in and then putting thepieces in place.
I don't care about them,everybody just has to play their
position, and a lot of people,they either don't have the
patience, passion or thewherewithal to actually see it
through.
You know, and what's so ill toois I'll bring let's say, I
bring you into something.
That's something that I'llbring you into.
(20:40):
I'll always break off some typeof equity or partnership.
Okay, you into.
I always break off some type ofequity or partnership.
Okay, have to, because you gotto have some skin in the game.
Absolutely, you understand, butwe are short-sighted as people,
you know.
I mean, we don't.
You telling me about money wehaven't even made yet.
You know stock options in thelate 90s, the early 2000s that
(21:03):
was a pardon, because it evengoes back as far as Microsoft In
the internet boom, that wholestock options.
You didn't make bread, you wasanswering phones.
You know how he got you toanswer the phone.
Check it out.
I'm going to give you 600shares.
Shares ain't worth shit rightnow, but as soon as they do
their IPO, you up Microsoftsecretaries.
(21:26):
A million is after after theydid their IPO.
Apple million is after they didtheir IPO and any subsequent
web, whatever that came afterthat.
They did an IPO, they were paid.
You can, you can't, sell peopleon the promise nowadays because
they need to see the we're.
So.
We're so much under pressureright now financially, that part
(21:47):
I need the bread now.
Give me my money right now.
Give me my money.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Give me my money and I guess that like where we are
now, just with society.
What was?
What's going on?
It's important to have peoplearound you with the same goals
same mindset same ethic becauseyou ain't finding that for real.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Nah, big facts can we get into the relationship stuff
, the relationship shit, pickingthat partner, yeah, that
partner.
That part of it is rough thiscould be an unlimited episode.
You know how?
Speaker 3 (22:19):
Yeah, this could go on, and on, and on, and on and
on.
Yeah, sharing the same corevalues, lifestyle expectations
and long-term plans.
Speaker 2 (22:29):
With your partner.
Speaker 3 (22:30):
With your partner.
I feel like the thing that alot of people miss on, that is,
everybody's going to evolve andgrow.
So even though me and you agreeright now, I may wake up
tomorrow and feel different.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
That's why I need the paper signed.
Sign that fucking paper.
Speaker 3 (22:47):
But even with that, it has to be some type of
communication too.
I can't just change my mind andleave you out there like that.
There has to be a talk.
There has to be some type oflike my expectations is
communication, like, let me know.
So I'm not in this, thinkingthat we're going this way and
you've made a decision to gohere and I'm still putting in
(23:11):
all this work like we're on thesame goal.
So communication is super huge.
Um, core values everybody'sbrought up different.
Everybody's raised different.
I was brought up initially witha single mother.
Then I had a stepfather.
I was in a two-parent household, want the best.
Some people do great, which?
Just one like everybody hasdifferent values.
We have different familytraditions and expectations, all
that.
All that stuff we're bringingit to the table with somebody
(23:32):
else and it's always going to besomething that don't mesh yeah
so then the communication needsto come in long-term plant like
do you want kids?
do you want to buy a house?
Do you want a business?
You want to be an entrepreneur,you want to stay home and I Do.
You want a business, you wantto be an entrepreneur, you want
to stay home and I work.
And like the communication isfucking the foundation for
everything.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
So, it's definitely, and I think that yeah, your
blueprint as far asrelationships are concerned,
them shits have to align.
You get what I'm saying?
Because, if it doesn't like,for instance, just like you said
, if, Because, if it doesn'tlike, for instance, just like
you said, if I want to be anentrepreneur, I'm going to be an
entrepreneur.
Now are you?
Going to fall to those dreamsyou get what I'm saying, Like
I'm not a slouch.
Speaker 3 (24:09):
Right, right, right.
I work for my money.
Right, are you going to be okaywith me being busy and not
being up under you, not callingevery second?
Right?
Speaker 2 (24:28):
Are you going to be okay, that person you know doing
something that's in the samevertical as you, go go explain
them all, all right.
So, boom, you're songwriting,ok right.
So if I were, a songwriter.
I'm a data songwriter, becausewho else would understand me as
much as that person?
Would they understand the time?
What Go ahead?
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Okay, nope, I see where you're going with this you
know what I mean.
So I'm under the.
This is my thing.
A creative has to be withanother creative 100% 100%.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Now.
Speaker 3 (24:57):
It don't have to be the same type of creative.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
No it does, though it kind of does.
Speaker 3 (25:01):
To me it does, though .
Speaker 2 (25:01):
It kind of does you have to break it down to the
granular level and then what itis is like, for instance, if
you're a YouTuber, you'recreative, right, right, I'm a
songwriter, I'm a creative, ok,right.
But those things don'tnecessarily intertwine.
So what would have to do, whatwould have to happen with these
creative minds is this You'relike all right, cool, I'm a
(25:24):
YouTuber, I need music to do.
X, y and Z.
Right, I'm a songwriter, butI'm like I'm trying to get out
here and, you know, writeGrammy-worthy things I don't
have time to do.
You get what I'm saying.
So it kind of has to be closerto that.
Niggas are sensitive about theyshit.
(25:44):
No, absolutely right.
So if I'm writing like grungeR&B and you like nigga, that's
not even my lane come on grungeyeah, you gonna be like nah,
that shit ain't gonna work.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
I still feel like there's some type of lenience
and understanding, just justbeing with another creative
right, the understanding thatyou are a creative in your own
right and I am that just thatunderstanding alone will take
you far than being with somebodythat's grounded.
There's nine to five every day.
I go to work for the man and Idon't switch jobs.
(26:20):
I'm gonna retire, I got apension and a 401k Like that's
completely different than youbeing a YouTuber and I'm a
songwriter.
I still understand your driveand your passion and like just
those key, those core values.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Understood.
Speaker 3 (26:37):
So, just off that strength alone, I'm going to
respect you as a creative andlet you create how you freely
want to.
You don't always have to alignwith mine, because then you're
going to be over here in my shitand I'm gonna be like can you
go create the fuck?
Speaker 2 (26:50):
over there and let me do my shit.
Well, talk to me about allright.
So let me give you anotherscenario.
You're creative, right, but I'mnot.
But I love you.
So how does the no, no, no, no,no.
So I want to be clear.
Let's go.
Being a creative does not meanthat you're a starving artist.
(27:10):
Maybe you are, maybe yourartistry doesn't pay you, but it
doesn't mean that you'recompletely destitute.
Because what's happening?
I'm actually getting right.
I'm getting, I'm getting acheck.
I know how to take care of myfamily.
I'm getting a check.
I know how to take care of myfamily.
I'm getting a check.
But what does the support looklike?
How does that work?
(27:34):
And how do you align yourselfwith somebody that's going to,
again, like I say, foster yourdreams.
I can't be with somebody thatdoesn't have that, can't dream
outside of that.
Nine to five.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
I'll put.
I'll use myself as an example.
So I feel like my lastrelationship I was married to a
non-creative.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (27:50):
And it drove me crazy , because I was in the studio
all the time prior to ourrelationship, the relationship
that I was in beforehand.
He was a musician.
So, me going to the studio wasnever an issue.
He was interested in my music.
He kind of he came to my shows.
He was very supportive.
We didn't get along with othershit.
But I moved on to somebody thatI felt was meeting a need that
(28:12):
I okay.
So I knew what it was like tohave a creative side met, but I
didn't know what it was like toget to be emotionally available
and like have other needs met.
So I put the creative stuff tothe side because I was
experiencing something new.
But once I got that I still hadthat urge to create and once
that came out, it wasn'tsupported, and I was so used to
(28:34):
getting but you think that thatwas maybe rooted in security as
opposed to it.
It could have been, but I wasso used to like I, I think I
automatically transferred okayhe's gonna.
When I go to the studio, it'snot gonna be a problem, because
it could have been.
But I was so used to like, Ithink I automatically
transferred Okay he's going.
When I go to the studio, it'snot going to be a problem
because and it was a problem-and.
I ended up not going Likecompletely stopped.
I stopped writing, stoppedgoing to the studio, stopped
(28:56):
making music.
I focused on the household,tried to make it work, tried to
suppress it to make it work, andthat shit ain't work for me.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
I think it's kind of like.
I think it's kind of like whenyou go to a strip club, you meet
a stripper.
It's cool when y'all startdating right, and then a couple
of months later you're like,alright, you're going to have to
stop that.
Speaker 3 (29:18):
Don't stop shaking it .
Niggas is coming at me.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Yeah, I don't like it , but you liked it.
Though that's how you met her,you liked it.
I feel personally that's alittle unfair to you.
I don't like drive killers.
You know what I mean.
Don't kill my drive.
Right Find your drive, don'tkill mine.
Right, right, right, youunderstand.
Like I had the idea of this Um,this is what I wanted to do.
(29:42):
I knew how I was going to do it.
Right, you were okay with it.
When you met me, you thoughtthe shit was sexy, blah, blah,
blah.
You know what I mean.
And then, a couple of monthslater, it's like yeah, no, about
that thing that you do.
Nah, I don't think.
I think that we don't realizewhen we're killing somebody's
(30:03):
drive, like somebody could cometo me right now with the most
and it's outside of arelationship, but somebody can
come to me right now with themost ridiculous idea.
You know what I'm going to doSupport it, no, no.
But I am going to try to firmit up though.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
I'm not going to sit there and just poke holes in it
and I have friends that canattest to that.
Yeah, you come to me withsomething, especially, you know,
being older I don't think thatI know anybody, you know that
has like outlandish ideas thatjust think that, you know,
riding in the car upside down isa good idea and this is how
we're gonna do it.
I'm like what, what problem arewe solving with that that part?
(30:43):
So I don't have friends likethat that come to me with that.
But if you come to me withsomething I would deem to be
ridiculous, I'm not going tokill your dreams.
Let's try to talk through itand firm it up.
That's what I would do.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
Communication is key in everything.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
A lot of people get the communication thing confused
too.
They think that communicatingis just talking.
You got to know how tocommunicate.
Speaker 3 (31:05):
Right, and you got to know how to receive it too.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
You got to know your audience.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
Sometimes you have to learn how to say the hard thing
and hear the hard thing too.
Everybody can't do both.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
Both Sorry, damn I'm sorry, I was feeling
uncomfortable.
I don't think that you shouldhave did that to me in that
moment.
Speaker 3 (31:25):
Some people have to learn to say the difficult thing
and hear the difficult thing.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Amen to that and everybody cannot do both.
Amen to that.
You are so fucking.
No, but the remix was crazy.
I like it.
I like it.
I like the remix.
Speaker 3 (31:36):
And it's like so to our next point, the
communication.
Like you said, if the okaynesschanged with me going to the
studio, it should have beencommunicated, but it wasn't.
I felt a shift, I felt the lackof support.
I felt it wasn't a hey, I don'tfeel comfortable with you going
(31:58):
to the studio.
I don't know what it is, itwon't, none of that.
It was just a shift.
So with the communication, likeI said, you got to be able to
say the thing.
That's difficult for you to beall right, and if you holding it
, the resentment is going toshow.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
Let me see the biggest downfall in business and
personal relationships is poorcommunication, and this is true,
just like you say, all right,look for relationships,
discussing, discussing financialexpectations, roles and
responsibilities early.
Yes, because I guess that'sjust basically shoring up what
communicate like you met.
(32:34):
Yeah, you met me.
Listen, you met me in a stripclub.
I had that elephant trunk thongon, feel me, and I was just
basically doing my.
I'm just saying I was doing my.
I'm just saying I was doing myKevin Hart the daddy when he was
going through the aisle, I wasdoing that and you thought the
shit was cute, right, hold on.
And then four months later youlike yo about that Tarzan swing,
(32:59):
we not doing that, no more.
And I'm like hold on, wait aminute.
Well, at least I ain't sellingpics of my feet.
Speaker 3 (33:09):
I'll punch you in your gray.
I will punch you in yourmotherfucking gray.
If y'all ain't seen thatepisode, just punch yourself in
your feet.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
I wish I could sell pictures of my feet.
You understand where I'm goingwith this.
Alright, it's a whole othertopic.
No, but that whole thing let'stalk about.
Let's put a personal touch onit.
Sure, hold on, I had anotherfoot joke in my head, but I'm
going to leave it alone.
So let's put a personal touchon it.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
If y'all see this motherfucking next episode.
Speaker 1 (33:45):
He ain't got none of this shit y'all know what the
fuck happened all this shit?
Speaker 2 (33:51):
just gone, yeah yeah, so my, my wife is a creative
right.
Shout out to height and heels.
That I've been saying, likeevery other episode every
fraudian every yeah, that wholething, fraudian slip and all of
that.
But, um, she's a creative and Ithank god that she's a creative
(34:12):
because the struggles and theshit that I go through I don't
have to.
I'm not whining and you knowwhatever crying on her shoulder,
but I can mention it and she'llunderstand exactly where I'm
coming from.
You understand and we can helpeach other out.
We do help each other out withregards to editing and all this
other stuff.
Even though we're on, we do twodifferent things, but neither
(34:35):
here nor there I don't thinkthat I could have married a
woman.
That's not a creep Right, oreven it's not a mistake, listen,
I could right.
Or even, uh, it's not a mistake, uh, you listen.
I could go as far as to say anentrepreneur.
Right, because shout outs to allthe nine to fivers like I'm a
nine to five or two as am I yeah, but I'm, I'm part of the
(34:57):
underground railroad too, so I'mhustling we hustling
motherfuckers up out of there,you know, to get to where we
need to go, to promised land,you know, take it back to 1950s,
but you know, flip that shit onhis head whereby we're the
master, and you know we're ableto do that thing Right.
(35:18):
But yeah, like I said, just Idon't think that I could have
married anybody else that wasn'tentrepreneur or a creative, you
know, and I lucked out and gotboth you know.
Speaker 3 (35:29):
So discussing the, just just discussing things
early keeps all the bullshitaway later.
Speaker 2 (35:36):
I mean it can, but there's only but.
So much you can discuss upfront, Because, remember, just
like you say, we're evolving allthe time.
Speaker 3 (35:43):
Shit changes, but as a creative, you like you said
we're evolving all the time.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Shit changes, amen.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
But as a creative.
You understand shit changes.
You might not know what it isbut, you know, as a creative,
you're evolving all the time.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Yeah, all the time it is part of your lexicon when
you're a creative or anentrepreneur, because you
constantly have to do so,because you constantly have to
do so.
Speaker 3 (36:02):
But if you're talking about shit early, you can talk
to your partner or your friend,your business partner, your
romantic partner about the waysthat they are able to support,
so you can see where they'relacking and get the support
elsewhere.
If they're not able to do that,though, yeah.
So, like as a like Shadra's aconcert creator, we do
podcasting and I do music Likewe're all, and if I can't
(36:25):
support you in a podcast in oneweek, I can say that and that
will allow you to kind of getyour support elsewhere and get
your needs met and not solelydepend on what you're expecting
from me.
If I can communicate that, youcan pivot like you need to and
it won't be such a burden and itwon't catch you off guard.
It won't be a hindrance becauseI won't catch you off guard.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
it won't be a hindrance because I've
communicated what I can andcan't do, right so if you don't
always want to have to, you know, step up to the podium and and
communicate certain things.
Ie, you know support in certainposts and stuff like that and
you know, which is a whole otherstory.
But, um, you don't want.
(37:06):
What the fuck is she doing?
Upstairs you hear thunder footupstairs fucking 1.30 in the
morning, this bitch getting upto get donuts.
Speaker 3 (37:17):
I almost want to move the table like over, just in
case the bitch come through thefloor nah, nah, that's a lawsuit
.
Speaker 2 (37:22):
Like the chick that couldn't get into the fucking
cab, we, we, good.
Speaker 3 (37:25):
I ain't breaking my neck.
That bitch is not finna fall onme.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
I'll push you out the way.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
But yeah, we gotta let her come through the ceiling
.
Speaker 1 (37:33):
And then we got the cameras and all of that.
Speaker 2 (37:34):
We need to catch all of that and you know that yeah.
Speaker 3 (37:45):
I don't know what I was talking about.
Cause bitch, I got a concussion.
Shut the hell up.
I had a fucking concussion.
What are you?
Speaker 2 (37:49):
manifesting, knowing when to walk away when a
partnership isn't serving youanymore.
How do you, professionally orpersonally, move without burning
bridges?
Speaker 3 (37:59):
Man, I keep a matching gas with Egan.
Speaker 2 (38:01):
But see, that's the fucked up thing I know, I keep
because, and and when shit goeson with me and I tell you, the
first thing you tell me is likeyo, you're gonna have to temper
all of that.
You can't, and I'll be wantingto.
I'll be wanting to because Idon't understand this is my
thing.
I don't understand how youcould do something to me, but
(38:22):
then I'm an asshole.
All right, we're gonna leave italone.
Speaker 3 (38:26):
Listen, yeah, go ahead when a partnership is not.
I've evolved into this versionof me, though lesser evolved.
Just burn the beers down.
I don't give a fuck.
I ain't never got to come backthis way, I'll go another way,
I'll find another way but now Ilook at kind of how you were
saying about your friend earlieryou're still friends.
You kind of how you were sayingabout your friend earlier
You're still friends.
(38:47):
You kind of chucked up the loss.
If the losses are outweighingthe wins, I'm okay with having a
conversation.
Now I'm really okay withsitting your ass down and really
be like, look, I can't fuckwith this shit, like I fuck with
you.
I love you, I appreciate how wegrown.
(39:08):
You gave me like greatexperience, but this can't, I
can't.
I'm sorry it might hurt yourfeelings.
I'm good with that and I don'tknow if it's as me as a
therapist being able to add thatboundary for myself, but I know
I need certain levels of peacein my life and if people aren't
bringing it, I'm okay withboundary.
You know what?
Speaker 2 (39:30):
I do, Nah, I don't need I have little ones that I
need it for.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
So that situation is different, that's different.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Yeah, oh, I'll create my own piece.
You know what I mean, even if,even if it means separation, I
create my own piece.
But that's.
Speaker 3 (39:44):
but that's the same thing, though.
Like how is that not the samething Me, you might not need to
have a conversation you said yes, I'm saying so it's not the
same thing, Cause I don't needto.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
I can create the space I don't need.
So if I need, if I need.
Speaker 3 (40:08):
I'll be on the pause part right here cause god leave
if I need the peace, I cancreate separation.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
I don't have a problem with not speaking to
niggas.
I don't understand.
What confuses me is like thatdoesn't confuse me.
I lie because it may be it maybe a misunderstanding.
Speaker 3 (40:25):
It could be a misunderstanding.
It could be, and I'm willing atthis.
I've grown to this now.
This probably won't be me a yearago.
I've grown to this, but I'mwilling to at least speak about
it so you can learn from it.
Like you know how you, mostpeople know how they fucked up,
most people know what they didwrong.
But I'm willing I'm this personnow.
(40:47):
I'm willing to have aconversation with you so you can
know how your actions affectedme.
Okay, no, I got you.
No, no, no, no, no.
This is the thing.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
This is the thing.
You, a Jedi, right now I'mstill a Padawan, you know what
I'm saying still in my emotionsand my feelings.
So I don't think that a lot ofpeople even deserve me by coming
to them, and you already know,you know how fiery I am at times
, right?
So I just feel like people arejust out to slay the dragon
First chance they get.
(41:15):
Now I don't know that you'retrying to slay the dragon until
we actually try to do somethingand you do some fugazi whack
shit and then just turn aroundand be like, oh so, you was just
trying to kick me in my nutsthe whole time.
Speaker 3 (41:29):
The reason I do what I do is because I don't want to
be a hypocrite when I help otherpeople.
I want to say that I've beenable to do a thing, get through
the emotion, actually dosomething that's serving me.
The conversation ain't fornobody else, it's for me to get
the shit off my chest how I needto and let that shit be.
You go over there and feel howyou're going to feel about it
afterwards.
But because I do what I do fora living, I don't ever want to
(41:52):
preach anything to somebody thatI can't actually do.
I'm glad they don.
I don't give advice, I providea perspective.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
All right.
Well, whatever, I don't want tosee it from a different angle,
I am fine.
I'm not telling you to see itfrom a different angle, I'm fine
.
And until I do grow out of it,I probably will continue to lose
people, right?
But the smaller the circle, theeasier it is for me to keep my
eye on motherfuckers anyway.
So that's how I look at it, youknow, and I'm listen.
(42:24):
Bringing this back to pickingwell, where were we?
Speaker 3 (42:30):
Know when to walk away.
Speaker 2 (42:38):
Know when to walk away professionally or personal,
without burning bridges.
Speaker 3 (42:41):
That's a mouthful, but that's why I decide to have
the conversation, because I'mgoing to leave that on you.
Speaker 2 (42:46):
But see, that's the thing.
I can't have the conversationbecause most can't handle the
conversation.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
I agree.
Speaker 2 (42:54):
And then that turns into something else.
Speaker 3 (42:56):
It don't have to, because once I see that you
ain't being receptive, I'm goingto leave, see, but this is the
thing though.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Now you're saying that, right, you're going to
have have the conversation, butthen you also want to try to
dictate how they react to thisconversation that you feel that
you need to have with them.
They don't feel like you needto have it with them.
Remember, these are the per,these are the people that
perpetrated whatever it was onyou.
They did that you understandwhat I'm saying.
So now, you now feel like youneed to have a conversation with
(43:23):
them.
They didn't feel like theyneeded to have a conversation
when they did what the fuck theydid.
Yeah, like you can fuck out ofhere, I'm not raising adults.
Suck my Sorry, I didn't mean it.
I didn't mean it.
I didn't mean it, but that'swhere I'm at with it, but I you
know, I feel you Like, Iunderstand and we're always like
.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
Here I get that.
Speaker 2 (43:43):
That's how the motherfuckers talking about.
I need to apologize.
Speaker 3 (43:46):
I ain't apologizing, no, I'm not saying that, but
this is the thing.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
I don't feel like I'm getting back on to the adult
level.
I don't feel like I need toexplain to you or get closure
with regards to something thatyou did.
That's just where I'm at withit, and I would rather fade to
black and not speak to you.
(44:10):
You understand what I'm saying,because to me it's like oh, you
didn't give a fuck, guess what?
Me neither With a V, me neither.
Speaker 3 (44:21):
I just feel like it depends on what the relationship
is.
I guess, If it's somebody new,you can get the fuck on.
Speaker 2 (44:29):
I do it with people that are old too.
I do With history, because ithurts worse when it's actually
somebody you have history with.
Reason being is because youknow me, you know my body, and
the first thing people want todo when you come out, your mouth
or whatever, is attack yourcharacter.
(44:49):
Can't attack my character.
My resume is long anddistinguished, you understand.
I'm saying I show up when I'msupposed to show up, absolutely,
and I'm not talking about in aphysical sense and in every
sense.
I show up when I have to showup, right, right.
And the moment that you callout and you don't whatever show
up when you're supposed to showup, when I have to show up,
right, right.
And the moment that you callout and you don't whatever, show
up when you're supposed to showup, I'm not supposed to feel
(45:10):
some type of way.
Then I gotta approach you, Igotta talk to you about what you
did to me.
Now I'm good overstood.
Take that shit up the block.
Okay, they got the two forfives up the block.
Speaker 3 (45:21):
I'm not nah now that we talked about what makes or
breaks a partnership, let's talkabout some resources.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
OK, let's do it.
So we got got a couple of booksactually the Partnership
Charter by David Gage, a guideto building successful business
partnerships All right.
Crucial Conversations that'syour thing, right.
Partnerships all right um.
Crucial conversations that'syour thing, right, um.
(45:49):
By kerry patterson masteringtough conversations in business
and relationships.
Now what I do is this I'm bigon audible.
I don't have time to sit downand thumb through a book because
one I I think that I have.
Adhd.
Swear to god, I do, becauseI'll sit down.
Speaker 3 (46:03):
Nah, they don't, they just making another donut run.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
So yo shit.
What is she walking on herelbows?
This bitch is army crawling tothe fucking refrigerator.
Anyway, outside of that, I'mbig on audible.
Okay, you know I commute to.
It's crazy.
Anyway, outside of that, I'mbig on Audible.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
Okay, you know I commute to and fro.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
It's crazy, she got the GI Joe theme music in the
background, oh yeah, all right,knock it off.
I'm trying to finish this up.
I am big on Audible.
I've been trying to get thatout.
Pause.
So if you commute to and fromwork, these are things that you
need to put on your list ofbooks to actually read, all
(46:54):
right.
So we also have online tools.
These are very important.
We didn't touch on a legalperspective, but Rocket Lawyer
create legal contracts forbusiness partnerships.
That's important.
All right, we really didn'ttalk about that, but we'll get
back to that.
The Rocket Lawyerentrepreneurcom articles on how
to vet a business partner thoseare very, very important because
(47:17):
again, yeah, because I don'tshow up as a person that went to
school for this shit, all right.
So you and I, we school for thisshit, all right.
So you and I, we're actuallylearning together, all right.
So I might say some shit that'sabsolutely incorrect, and if I
did, I'm not, I'm a, I'm humanand I do, yeah, and I do want to
learn exactly.
You can always coach up, so youcan hit us in the comments, dms
(47:40):
, whatever.
So if you feel like we missedsomething, please let us know,
all right, dms, whatever.
So if you feel like we missedsomething, please let us know.
Alright, and that's all I havefor the tools, okay so
evaluating compatibility andavoiding toxic partnerships that
shit say 15 minutes, ain't.
Speaker 3 (47:54):
No fucking way ain't no way defining your
non-negotiables for romanticpartners, discussing core values
, future goals and lifestylecompatibility.
You gave a resource.
I think you gave this onebefore.
I don't know the author seemsfamiliar.
What's?
Speaker 2 (48:07):
that Amir Levine.
Speaker 1 (48:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (48:09):
Understanding attachment styles and how they
affect.
It's called Attached.
The resource is called Attached.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
Not.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
Amir Levine, understanding attachment styles
and how they affectrelationships.
So there's different types ofattachment styles.
Speaker 2 (48:22):
It's a really good book.
Types of attachment styles.
It's a really good book.
I read it with barbie from letme touch your podcast.
Um, she has an entire seasonbased on this book, so if you
feel like you need a a deeperdive into it outside of what it
is contextually, definitely gocheck out let me touch your
podcast so he has another.
Speaker 3 (48:40):
No, I'm looking because you have the the david
gage up here.
So, for business partners,defining your non-negotiables,
speak about vision, work ethic,financial transparency and,
again, the resources, thepartnership chartered by David
Gage.
So real, quick, understanding,communication styles and
conflict resolution.
How do you and your partnerhandle calm?
Speaker 2 (49:00):
We don't argue.
That's like rule number one forme.
I'm not arguing okay right,because the thing is she's a
pisces, I'm a leo, so when weargue, you already know
everybody's trying to go for thew.
Everybody wants to w.
You don't have to get a w everytime.
Well, I do, but not with theperson, right, that I'm laying
(49:25):
down with.
Okay, not with the personthat's actually raising my kids
so it doesn't even have to be anargument.
Speaker 3 (49:30):
So, like up here, are they avoiding aggressive
solution focus, like it doesn'teven have to be an argument.
But how do you handle it, man,if you don't argue?
What does conflict resolutionlook like?
Speaker 2 (49:40):
we have to wait until cooler heads prevail, okay, you
know, and when I, and when Isay that, I mean like yo, we can
.
I'm funny, pause, not funnylike that.
Speaker 3 (49:52):
I'm about to say it's a whole bunch of entendres
because what funny you got tospecify the funny.
Speaker 2 (49:57):
Specify.
Well, I'm funny, weird.
Speaker 3 (50:00):
How about you find me comedic too?
Speaker 2 (50:02):
Yeah, that too.
But um, and you just, I justtry to like get her to smile or
whatever and shit like that.
She's a foodie, Food alwaysmakes her happy.
Speaker 3 (50:12):
That's a woman treat, you get those endorphins going.
Speaker 1 (50:15):
That's a woman treat.
Speaker 2 (50:17):
You know, and this is real shit, that's like I can't
give you a textbook way of doingit.
You would only you have to knowyour audience.
So whoever your partner is, youknow right, whatever that sweet
spot happens to be um tools forimproving communication?
Speaker 3 (50:32):
um include active listening techniques.
Um a resource could be the fivelove languages by gary chapman
um to help you understand yourpartner, how your partner
expresses love and support.
So as a therapist, I say like Idon't like the five love
languages only because what theyleft one out.
No, because I feel like don'trelegate me to two.
(50:54):
I'm not taking a test Like Ineed all of them and I would
expect but there's nobody sayingthat you can't.
No, right, right, right, right,right, right.
But in the book it asks you totake a test to see what your top
two are.
That might not be my top twoevery day, so listen, listen,
listen With a partner.
I would want my partner to beattentive enough and in tune
(51:14):
enough to know what I need thatday, but it is a good resource
to figure out what your lovelanguage is, and usually, when
you figure out your lovelanguage, that's how you give it
.
Speaker 2 (51:29):
You give what you want in return, you're not
giving what your partner's lovelanguage is all biblical.
Anyway, get to the recognizingthe red flags you can talk about
the romantic partnerships, I'lltalk about the business
partnerships okay andrecognizing red flags and
romantic relationships.
Speaker 3 (51:42):
pay attention to the lack of support, inconsistency
and misaligned goals.
When they don't celebrate yourwins, they belittle your dreams
or undermine your hustle.
Speak up about it Like when younotice it.
Don't let that shit ride.
If you feel funny, do not sitthere and just act like you
don't have a voice.
If you're in a relationship andyou have a partnership, you
should have an equal say in yourfeelings.
(52:04):
You should be able to feel safe.
Hopefully you're in a safespace where you're able to speak
on how you feel, how you'vebeen made to feel, and hopefully
y'all can have a resolutionabout it.
But pay attention to yourintuition.
You will know when somebody'strying to shade your ass and
they're not being supportive.
Speaker 2 (52:20):
All right.
So as far as red flags areconcerned with business
partnerships, lack ofaccountability, financial
secrecy and poor communication,it all reads scam.
Scam yeah you just got hit withthe me too.
People scam, you know theydon't follow through on
commitments.
That's a big thing too,especially if they told you like
(52:42):
yo, one of my biggest things isyou give me something, you tell
me to do something, or we sitdown and discuss something, I'm
on it, so they don't followthrough with that, or you got to
chase them down and figure outwhat.
You know what's going on with X, y and Z, and there's only four
you guys in the group.
That's a problem.
Yeah, all right, or they avoidtough conversations about money.
Now, if they're avoiding toughconversations about money,
(53:06):
that's a red banner.
That's like just a global.
Yeah, paint the whole fuckingtown.
Speaker 1 (53:14):
Everything is red.
Speaker 2 (53:20):
Reason being is because when they came to you
with the idea and they ran thewhatever thought they had,
thoughts they had as far aswhere it was going to go or
where it would land and what ittook to take off and they could
easily rattle this stuff offthen you come back to them later
and they can't.
They hemming and hawing redflag.
Leave them alone.
Speaker 3 (53:39):
Leave them alone spell that I know all right, all
right testing the waters beforewe go all in for business.
Speaker 2 (53:49):
Start with small projects before becoming fully
committed.
All right, um, that is withanything.
I know that when we come upwith an idea, the first thing we
want to do is, like we look atit like, oh, I could get 50
grand in 60 days and we all inCan't do it like that.
You cannot do it like that.
You need proof of conceptbefore you do anything.
(54:10):
All right, which means the bestway to eat an elephant is bite,
bite, bite, bite.
That's it, I'm tired.
Bite, bite, bite.
Look, I knew the phrase and Ididn't even catch the merch I'm
like yeah, nigga, exactly, I'mwith it.
(54:31):
All right.
One of the best resources forbusiness entrepreneurs is Forbes
.
Right, there's an articlecalled how to Vet a Business
Partner, all right.
Right, there's an articlecalled how to vet a business
partner, all right.
And for relationships engagingin activities that reveal
character, like travel together,handle a different, uh
(54:53):
difficult, situation, I thinktraveling together is another.
That's big.
I think we need a whole episodeon that, just just on that.
But, um, yeah, right, okay, andbefore we wrap it up, let's
give y'all some reason.
It's a lot of fucking resources.
Anyway, like I said, we're notshowing up as know-it-alls.
We don't know it all.
(55:14):
However, you can definitely veteverything that we say, or even
expand on things that we pleasedo, we, you know, tell you and
stuff like that, with theseresources.
So, before we wrap it up, let'sgive y'all some resources to
help you navigate partnershipsin business and love.
Speaker 3 (55:32):
So, with relationships, you've got the
five love languages, like wetalked about earlier, by Gary
Chapman.
You have Crucial Conversationsby Carrie Patterson.
We mentioned these two before.
Then they have some assessmentsthat you can take, like some
simple tests that you and yourpartner can take with each other
to figure out your personalitytypes and just your preferences.
So you have the MBTI you findout your personality types, how
(55:54):
they affect relationships andbusiness partnerships.
You have the DISC the D-I-S-CPersonality test is great for
business partnerships and how tounderstand work styles.
You want to talk about the appsand platforms.
Yeah, apps and platforms.
Speaker 2 (56:04):
Yeah, have some platforms, so we have Trello and
Asana.
Stay organized and, well, stayorganized when collaborating
with a business partner.
Those are great because you canactually have team members come
in on projects that you'redoing and you guys can work on
it in real time, and or you canactually work on it
independently, but proofeverybody's work.
(56:25):
Relish, a relationship coachingapp for couples.
I'm going to need to check thatout.
I'm going to have to check itout too.
I heard it out, I'm going tohave to look at that.
Founders Dating a platform forentrepreneurs looking for
business partners.
Speaker 3 (56:39):
It's super dope.
Speaker 2 (56:40):
It is super dope, but I don't know how much I trust
it All right and Legal it issuper dope, but I don't know how
much I trust it All right andlegal and financial tools we
already went over Rocket Lawyerbecause you got to get yourself
a lawyer Right and what they do?
What they do is I'm bugging andI'm tired.
Scratch down Rocket Lawyertemplates for creating business
(57:01):
contracts.
How about that?
You don't go there if you'regoing to jail or somebody's
suing you.
That's not what you're goingthere for.
They're not going to give you alawyer.
Anyway, Honeydew, a budgetingapp for couples I'm going to
look at that.
That's crazy.
Okay, Final thoughts Trust Okay, go ahead.
Speaker 3 (57:22):
No, I'll give you a break.
You got that.
Yeah, us go.
Okay, go ahead.
Go ahead now I'll give you abreak, you gotta.
Yeah, we've been in this shitall day fighting it out um.
Trust and communication andaligned goals are the foundation
of any successful partnershipromantic, business, friends,
pastor and friends.
Whether in business or love,choosing the right partner can
make or break your success.
Again Again, the listenerchallenge.
(57:43):
We will have these every week,so get ready, be in it.
Your challenge for this weekreflect on your current
partnerships romantic, businessor friendships and how they are
aligned with your current goalsand value.
Please be aware that you guyswill evolve, so it takes
communication to talk about whenthings change, when the idea
(58:04):
that you liked before ain't theone you own now, speak about it
so that you guys can stayaligned.
Share your thoughts with usthough.
Use the hashtagHustleAndHealPartners on social
media, dm us like it.
Put comments under the postEngage.
Let us know how things aregoing and let us know how we can
help.
Speaker 2 (58:32):
Listen, I'm having a ball doing this.
All right, we're getting out ofhere.
Follow us on hustling hill oninstagram and tiktok, share your
favorite part of the episodeand tag us.
All right, don't forget tosubscribe, rate and review and
we catch our guys on the nextone.
Speaker 3 (58:44):
I'm Bless Jess.
Speaker 2 (58:46):
Peace, peace yeah.
Speaker 1 (58:49):
That's a wrap on another episode of Hustle Heal,
where real talk meets realtransformation.
If today's convo hit homeinspired a shift or just made
you feel seen, do us a solidSubscribe, leave a review and
share it with someone who needsto hear it.
Stay locked in with themovement and follow us at hustle
and heal on instagram, tiktok,youtube and everywhere else you
(59:12):
scroll.
And if you want to tap in withyour host, you can find just at
bless, just and styles at styles, underscore, bk across all
platforms, because healing ain'tsoft and hustling ain't selfish
.
This is the work, this is theway, every damn day.
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