H.Y.S.T? | S2 Premiere! | Matinee & Big Trouble in Little China - H.Y.S.T?

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to Heist. I'm Bradly Hackworth joined by Jonathan Ems, otherwise known as Doc.

(00:06):
Hello fellow humans.
And we're jumping in for Matinee versus Big Trouble in Little China.
Let's do this. Season 2 bitches.
Season 2 of Heist.
Got a new shirt even.
Winers?
Niners.
Oh.
I was gonna say, for the crap we do on this show, if your shirt would have said winers, I would have...

(00:32):
Ooh. I'd love it.
No.
Niners. As in the deep space niners.
Man.
I didn't get that. Nobody got...
Somebody might get that.
Somebody will get that and we are friends now.
Simple as that.
There you go. That is yours.
That's how these shirts work.
Alright. Season 2, episode 1, we have returned.

(00:57):
We had our little break. We took a few weeks off to work on my writing, your writing.
And here we are back with matinee versus big trouble in little China.
Man.
I love big trouble in little China.
Always have, always will. It's gonna stay.
It is a cult classic for a reason.

(01:19):
Yeah, matinee tossed in some great moments though.
Oh, it really did. Yeah, no, matinee is... I mean, it's a Joe Dante film.
Joe Dante comes from the Roger Corman school and this is clearly his love letter to that whole idea.
I think every filmmaker has to make at least one movie about what it was like going to movies when they were a kid.

(01:43):
Kevin Smith just came out with his, like a couple weeks ago, you know, so...
What do you say we get into it?
Let's do it.
Alright. So first up, what we're gonna be doing is we're gonna be going up and discussing matinee starring...
Well, matinee directed by Joe Dante, written by Charles S. Haas and Jericho Stone, starring John Goodman, Kathy Moriarty, Simon Fenton, and Omri Katz.

(02:13):
With Lisa... I don't know, like the way it's spelled, I want to say Jacob, but...
That was my assuming as well. Assuming.
So with Lisa Jacob...
That is what I assumed as well. Cut that.
I was wondering if you were gonna catch that. Kelly Martin, James Villamere, Dick Miller, and Robert Picardo, which we've covered them in another...

(02:35):
Dick Miller and Robert Picardo, yes.
Joe Dante film where they were in the burbs as a great cameo, but Dick Miller is like the cameo king of Joe Dante films.
He really, really is, yes. And the man's got...
The man's just got a presence, you know?
Now I'm curious if this is going to adjust any of the love that you have for this film.

(03:00):
Jericho Stone, the original writer of this film, was not credited when this film was released.
Because they did so many rewrites on the screenplay that they just gave it to Charles Haas, and they removed the original writer off.
That's fucked.
That is very fucked.
And from what I read of Jericho Stone's original screenplay, it was better.

(03:25):
Really?
Mm-hmm.
Hmm. I don't know. I don't know.
I like the ending better.
So the ending in Jericho Stone's version, they were coming back as 30-year-olds and stuff like that, and discussing how much they really whooped up and the memories of it.

(03:48):
It was kind of a flashback to that type of thing.
And I like those stories a little bit more, even though the way this ended with John Goodman, I did like...
Yeah, I liked the way they kind of set it off at the ending, because it keeps the whole thing encapsulated into the mentality that was the Cuban Missile Crisis.

(04:11):
This movie takes place during the Cuban Missile Crisis, from beginning to end. The movie ends the day after the Cuban Missile Crisis is over.
And doing that sort of hindsight thing, having them come back 30 years later as adults and kind of sit there.
I feel that that kind of takes away from the actual feeling of it, where it's like now you and I can sit here and talk about the Cuban Missile Crisis as a non-thing.

(04:41):
It was ancient history. It happened before either of us were born.
I can't believe everybody was panicking over this. Well, it's not that they were talking about the Cuban Missile Crisis. It was about them reminiscing over how they were affected by it.
Sure, yeah, I get that. And how they used the movies as an escape from the crisis.
And that's fair. Where, in my eyes, that would have taken it from a children's movie into the long-standing for both.

(05:09):
Because I think this was a kids movie. Yeah, I suppose in a lot of ways it was.
It was an inappropriate kids movie. Ah, it wasn't that bad.
It made me pretty uncomfortable. There were moments. But then again, okay, let's get into it.
Okay. So real quick, I am curious, did you notice Naomi Watts was in this?

(05:32):
No, who was she? This is the film debut of Naomi Watts, and she was like the freaking out grocery shop girl in just one of those scenes.
No, didn't. I was like, wait, is that? Holy shit, it is.
Well, it took me a minute. Like I actually had to go. It's one of the few moments where I will actually be so bothered, but I'll stop the movie and go check.

(05:59):
I was one of the the lead young ladies in this.
I for the first whole scene that she was in, I could have sworn that that was Sarah Michelle Geller.
Oh, Kelly, Kelly Martin. That was her. Yes. I had to stop and go look her up because I was like, is that her?
It so looks like her. But no, it's not. It was it was another TV actress with a long illustrious career that I just that I didn't recognize.

(06:24):
So very true. And I looked through a lot of her credits and weirdly, I don't think I've ever seen anything else she's ever been in.
No, same here. Yeah. She's been in a lot of stuff that I haven't seen. Yeah. It was interesting to see some.
God series after series after series with the same character that has been going on for ever. Never heard of it before.

(06:48):
And I should I should have wrote that down, actually. But getting into the movie, we open on the archival footage of a nuclear test and John Goodman as.
Not Hitchcock, who was he like kind of emulating? He well, he was kind of he wasn't.
I would say he's probably doing Roger Corman because that's who that's who Dante got his start with.

(07:12):
But I imagine he's probably the thinking is this is someone who is like, you know, dime store,
Alford Hitchcock, because they do make a joke about it when when the guy at the gas station calls him Mr. Hitchcock.
He thinks he is Hitchcock, but there is William Castle. I think that's who I was thinking of.
Oh, Cass. OK. Yeah, I could I suppose I could see that. Yeah.

(07:35):
Because it was a thing. It wasn't just Hitchcock that did the side facing like thing with all that.
There were multiple others who did that. We all just remember Hitchcock because he was Hitchcock.
Right. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. No. So I was thinking about that.
So I wrote it down as like very Hitchcockian, but he was literally like homaging William Castle.

(07:59):
And that rumble pack that they had in the theater, that was a real thing that really did happen.
Just not this exaggerated. Right. Yeah. Yep. Right.
So as the as the Hitchcockian Lawrence Woolsey, Woolsey.
That is not an easy word for me to say. No, it's a surprisingly commonly used name, too, because oddly enough,

(08:23):
Woolsey, yes, because it always throws me because like Robert Picardo has played two other characters named Woolsey.
OK, so that's just Joe Dante with that name. Right. Yeah.
He just he just likes that name for some reason.
He must have a real good buddy with that name or he really likes watching people like me struggle saying it.

(08:45):
But he's discussing his new film, Mant.
Mant. Half Ant. Yep. Mant.
And such a throwback to the over the top dumb horror movies from back in the day, which I would probably never stop watching.
No. Too dumb, too funny, too great.

(09:08):
Basically, every episode of MST3K is featured in this movie.
But you got to like I got a lot like and based on these scientific magazines and he flashes them by the camera so fast that you can't even make out what they are.
Fantastic.
The in a Tomo vision, which essentially like as like in the 90s, the 2000s, we called 4D.

(09:33):
Right. Yeah. Yep. With like mist coming out of the seats and like all that stuff.
Always they tried to go to one of those, but I never made it. Did you?
Um, I did. What was it? What do they call it?
They had this one kind where they basically have like extra screens off to the side.
So you get like the sort of not quite panoramic, but near panoramic view of the thing.

(09:59):
Sounds kind of cool. Yeah. The problem was it sounds a little bit like a chore, too.
It was a it was one of the the newer Star Trek movies is what we saw on it.
Oh, with all the lens flares. Yeah. Yeah.
That would have been fun. I want it. It wasn't Into Darkness.
It was the one after Into Darkness. I can't remember which one that is.

(10:21):
But I remember being really upset by because obviously this movie wasn't shot for this effect.
But but because every time they went to a basically like a wide shot that had all three screens, you know,
utilized for this wide for this much wider view, the resolution of the picture dropped down noticeably.

(10:46):
So I was. Yeah, I was like, this was a terrible idea.
So I haven't been back to one of those since.
And I have noticed like the rubble packs in the seats and like I was saying, like with the mist coming out and like the way around.
Never been to any of those. No, I think I would like to.
Like it would definitely be a day where I wouldn't be able to wear glasses. I'd have to go get contacts just so I could go.

(11:09):
Right. Yeah. But it does something like something I would like to do.
That is the most hair I've ever seen Robert Picardo have.
Which they had to they had to have decided they have to put that on him.
Like he either grew out a comb over where they got him a to pay because that end scene when he's panicking and all the hair is standing straight up.

(11:36):
That had to happen. They spent money on that shot of him looking disheveled and he needed way more hair than he had to look that way.
Well, see, that was where I was wondering, this must be the era where Robert Picard finally gave up on having hair on the top of his head.
Because to have it that long, you have to have been having that for at least six months.

(12:03):
So I think this was just the era when Picardo finally went, you know what? I'm a funny bald guy.
Right. Exactly. Yeah. This is who I am now.
Was great. The kids are coming out of the movie theater that they saw with the preview that Woolsey is coming to town, walking back to base and everything that was happening, like kind of the world building, everything that was happening in the background about the missile crisis, all the drills happening, all the panic.

(12:34):
The kids were focused on them because this is about their escape from that situation. And I thought that was done very, very well.
Coming in, you meet their mom and their mom. I loved how caring their mother was.
Yeah. Well, and especially how these kids too, how they like the whole thing gets to them.

(12:56):
For them, it starts with, by the way, your father's not coming home tonight. They shipped him out all of a sudden. And he can't tell us where he's going or how long he's going to be gone.
And as she's telling him that, as he's learning this news, almost immediately after that, that's when President Kennedy suddenly appears on the TV and says, there's some shit going down in Cuba.

(13:22):
And it's like, like a one to punch to this whole family right here in front of us.
So, no, that I did enjoy the fact that they actually use and that's something that I really enjoy every time they do it when they use the archival footage and they don't try to cast an actor and like that.
Right. Yeah. I will say when the watchman cast that that actor is Nixon. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I liked that guy. He was good. He was good. He was very, very good.

(13:51):
That and they never really used the comedian that was a perfect imitation of George Bush.
Joe, oh, to me, Timothy Bottoms that he didn't show up in many movies like they had more Will Ferrell like doing his like comedic version.
But there was an actor out there who absolutely crushed it as a double for George Bush. He did.

(14:17):
And he yeah, he was and he was good. Yes, you're right. He was wildly underutilized for sure.
He was in like one TV show and one movie that I can think of. But he was perfect.
It was crazy how good he was.
And I just I love the scene where the brother comforting the little brother, messing with them, jabbing at him, all that, but still looking out for him.

(14:38):
That was good.
And then Goodman being over the top jazzed about the threat and how good it is for business.
Now, here's the and this is we're getting more of this now as we're as we introduce like why, you know, John Goodman's character is coming to town.
Like what you like, we've introduced to him as a concept with his his trailer.

(14:59):
And now we've got, you know, him coming to town.
He's he's rolling in town with his with his film and his cat like this.
And I told you this before we saw the movie.
When I saw this movie for the first time, when I was like 17 years old, I looked at John Goodman's character and I thought to myself, that's who I want to be when I grow up is he's, you know, low budget sci fi filmmaker.

(15:25):
But he's also taking the movie on tour to movie theaters, driving around the country in his Cadillac with his hot actress girlfriend riding shotgun and just putting on a show in one town after another with his movie.
I'm like, that's the life right there, man. Like that is who I want to be.
I think most of us. That's that's kind of where we were coming from.

(15:46):
For some people. Yeah, it's like that's where people go.
Like we should start a rock and roll band. Like for me, it was like, no, I don't do music, but I can do this. I can do it.
Okay, there you go. Yeah, no, that's like with my friends and stuff like that.
There was a conversation here and then like when we were little kids about going off and doing a band.
And then, yes, the years went by, we went.

(16:07):
None of us can do shit.
It wouldn't be a good band.
Maybe it would work if one of us could play an instrument. Yeah.
One of us could play the rest of us could fake it just hang off of that that one.
Like I was a kid, man.
The only thing that we did, like if we wanted to start a band, it would have had to be a ska band because all we knew how to do was play trombone.

(16:31):
We were in school band. It's all we knew.
We talked about this broke and just I'm love.
I was loving him being recognized and then gets called Hitchcock.
Right. Yeah.
Ruth played by Kathy Corday.
Is that right?
No, that was Kathy Moriarty.
Oh, yeah. I was gonna say like, yeah, the girlfriend.

(16:53):
Yeah, that's Kathy Moriarty.
Her character's name is Ruth Corday and I just wound up like, yes, scrimmage. My favorite role of of Kathy Moriarty is though it's dumb.
I know it's dumb.
I get it.
It is her as a.
Oh, God, what is it like Patty Lowe and analyze that?

(17:18):
I never saw analyze that.
Oh, my God.
I didn't I didn't like analyze this that much. I didn't feel the need to go to the sequel.
I was, you know. Oh, I loved them both.
I love analyze that more than analyze this.
Okay.
Definitely. Definitely. Yes.
But oh, my God, she was dynamite in that.
Absolutely. I mean, okay.

(17:40):
Oh, we haven't really jumped in on anything that has a sequel.
We haven't really.
We haven't.
I guess we haven't.
Hmm.
Out of 50 movies, we haven't done one that has a sequel.
That's crazy.
We should revisit that. That can't be true.
That seems statistically unlikely.
So really?

(18:01):
Well, technically.
Freeway has a sequel. Confessions.
Right. Right.
Which I have not seen and I don't think either of us are really willing to acknowledge because it has nothing to do with any.
Because while technically it shares the title and is technically a sequel, excuse me, absolutely no one involved in the first one was involved in making the second one.

(18:28):
It was still it was still Matthew Bright.
Was it?
It was still Matthew Bright and the stepdad who was all touchy touchy with Reese Witherspoon.
Right.
For some reason, he plays a drifter in the second air in Confessions of a Trick Baby.
I think I remember you telling me about that.
Still that damn title.

(18:52):
Are you kidding me here?
Which did you like I told you last season about that Hawk to a girl.
Remember like.
I do remember you mentioning that and ever since you brought it up, suddenly she's been showing up on my TikTok feed.
You can't blame me for that. She was.
No, I absolutely blame you.
Like I was three of her influence until you said her name.

(19:15):
But I will say the podcast that she came up with, like the name for her show now is called Talk to a.
Oh, my God, I think I just fell in love.
Oh, my. I know, man.
How amazing like that name.
Absolutely like just dynamite.
Absolutely dynamite.
I saw these days.
I swear to God.

(19:36):
Well, I saw a clip where she was like where like Matt Reif, who always jokes around about hooking up with older women and all this stuff.
Like starts like asking her about her mom and she's like, oh, you don't want my mom.
No, I'm a crack baby.
And I'm like, OK, her podcast should have been called Confessions of a Trick Baby.
That was a really long walk just for that.

(19:58):
Yeah, it was. It was.
But yeah, I see where we we're here now.
And OK, no.
I mean, I'm not going to lie that the lady, she is absolutely kind of hilarious.
And I mean, the way she got picked up, it's kind of just goofy and ridiculous and everything like that.
However, when you got somebody who's naturally talented at being that funny, I don't really care how you found them.

(20:22):
No, it's true. I agree. Yeah.
When it comes to people who make me laugh, the only thing I ask for them is that they make me laugh.
Yeah.
No, I think, you know, I mean, that's the thing is like 90 percent of this is, you know, it is chance.
That's true for all of us.
And granted, those of us who put in the work like something like this, yes, that raises the odds, but it is still just chance.

(20:44):
And we can't really hold it against somebody who the chance was their favor one time.
There you go. And the fact that she was smart enough to to let it ride.
Not everybody is that smart.
So now she has zero level of give a fuck and it is working out in her favor and her rent is paid.
So for her. Yeah. Are you going to knock that back to this?

(21:09):
The kids being interested in the bombs and the girl, dude, it took me a while to figure out how or where I recognize Omri Katz from.
Which one was on the oh, the the dark one. Yeah.
OK. Do you know what else he was in that year?

(21:30):
No. Hocus pocus. That's the motherfucker who played Max.
No, I have not seen Hocus pocus since I was a kid.
So, OK, honestly, it really shouldn't matter.
But that kid weirdly the same year that this came out, that movie came out and in this movie, I'm looking at.

(21:55):
He had a good year. Yeah, he had a good year.
In Matt and in matinee, he looked like a 12 year old in Hocus pocus.
He looked like a 17 year old and it I don't like it.
My brain doesn't know how much of a gross per did this little bastard have that year because that is crazy.

(22:18):
Because he literally looks like a little kid in this so much so that every time that he's talking about the girls and you think she'd let me do her if the bomb was about to drop.
It's like, oh, see, and that's what you it might.
It might have been good if I had seen this first as a kid and then walked into it as the nostalgia because where I was watching,

(22:39):
I was just watching little kids talking about wanting to bang each other and I'm like, ah, but yeah, OK, I get that.
But at the same time, it's like I remember being that age and yeah, that was that was how we talked.
That is how we talked. That is how we talk.
It's I think it's just kind of that thing like where you start getting older and then like your kids, your nieces and nephews, like the next generation is coming into that age.

(23:02):
And you're looking at the little girls in your family and you're just thinking about the little boys going, ah, so much time for being a kid.
I feel you there. I feel you there.
I guess my kids are in their 20s now, so I guess I'm just I know.
See, you're like I feel like so you have like passed that.
Yeah, my sweet little baby angel is 14.

(23:25):
OK, oh yeah, that's like the worst. That's like the worst time.
That is the absolute worst time. Yeah, I know. I hate it.
I hate it so much. So the kids are at lunch and just being absolute damn morons and the misogyny talking about going to see man's.

(23:47):
And of course, of course, there's got to be a slow motion, slow motion scene for the girl.
Mm hmm. Yep. Which this is the one that we were talking about earlier, Kelly Martin, that we both kind of thought was Sarah Michelle Geller.
Yeah. And she has had somewhat of a prolific career since.
But it must be, I don't know, not not in not in our genre circles. They're all they're all these like.

(24:14):
I mean, I don't know. Yeah, but yeah, they're all like like suburban crime dramas.
It was what it looks like or something like that, you know, pretty much like it's weird to see so many credits on an actor's IMDb and not recognize any of them.
Like and not even like, oh, I've heard of this show, but I just never seen it.

(24:35):
No, these were all shit that I've never even heard of, which kind of makes me want to go check one out and be like, is there a genre that I just haven't been keyed it on yet?
Do I like it or am I going to go find it and go, oh, that's why.
Because there has been that. There has been. Yes.

(24:56):
I still remember the whole like, you know, I don't know how much of it still is in the day, but there was a time in the 80s and 90s in which you could be a very well paid and and steadily working actor on TV shows that were literally designed to not be seen.
They were just there to fill time on Saturday afternoon. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

(25:18):
Yeah, because they are. No one's expected to be at home watching TV on Saturday afternoon.
They got to have something. And so they fill the time with really cheap, really crappy shows.
There were some really bad things back then. Yeah. You know what I mean?
It would suck to be an actor who is specifically cast for tax breaks.
But you got to imagine that there are actors who are out there doing that.

(25:42):
But there but there are some people who, you know, they figure something out and they go, wait a second.
If we put on a show like that, like here's the thing, folks, you I'm sure a lot of you, even you young people have heard of the show Baywatch and what a huge hit that was.
The secret to that show's success is that it was on on Saturday afternoons when there was literally zero competition.
Everybody else was putting filler and placeholders on on their channels.

(26:06):
Baywatch went, oh, if we go here, we're literally the only thing on.
So I'm sorry. I got to cut in here. I got to cut in here so hard.
The true Baywatch. No.
The reason Baywatch was successful was because of Pamela Anderson and Yasmine Bleeve slow motion in bikinis running on the beach.

(26:27):
That helped. But if that was the if that was the only reason why that show was a hit,
then the the other Pamela Anderson show, I want to say the one where she played a bodyguard.
I only know a lot of home improvement. Yeah, no, it was.
God, what was it called? Yeah, she literally plays a model who becomes a bodyguard.

(26:56):
Like that was the premise of the show. And yeah, and that was on the USA Network.
I know it exists because it was on right after the Highlander series.
So if that was all it took for the show to be successful, then that show would you would have heard of it.
I'm going to put the reason that I said Baywatch became successful over the timing.

(27:20):
It did not matter what time of day or week that was going to be on.
Horny teens and young men were going to go watch go find that show to drool over Yasmine Bleeve and Pamela.
I'm not saying it didn't help.
But but the fact that it had zero competition had probably had more to do with it
because that wasn't the only show that had that for sure.

(27:43):
But they had it the most. And that's probably what did it.
Oh, yeah. Speaking of horny teenagers, matinee pretty much.
Yeah. I'm guessing that you absolutely like teenage you whatever had a huge crush on Lisa Yacob in this coming out,

(28:07):
coming out into the hallway, fight the power. What's going to happen?
What's this going to do? Like all this? Yep.
No. Yeah. The whole fight the power chick. Yeah, I'm very, very sure.
At the movie, the panic at the grocery store, which is what I was talking about.
That was oh, don't do that.

(28:30):
Naomi Watts is film debut as a panicked in a grocery store and movie matinee.
Everybody got started somewhere. And if you're no, no, no, I'm just thinking John Goodman movie.
That's fun. I'm just thinking Panic at the panic at the grocery store would be a good name for a cover band.
That's what I'm just thinking. That's all. Oh, a panic at the disco cover band. Right. Yeah. Yep.

(28:56):
Not not not a bad one. I would definitely give you that.
At the movies for the shopping cart movie. Hated. Right. Oh, my God. That was great.
Yeah. But do you remember all those like 1960s Disney movies that were all about like toasters and stuff that come into life?
I can. No reason. The Adventures of Merlin Jones, motherfucker. I saw them all.

(29:21):
Are you kidding me? I mean, wow, man, the ideas they had in the 60s.
What should we do this week? Toaster comes to life. That's right. Yeah. What should we do? What should we do?
OK, now what should we do next week? Vacuum comes to life. You're a fucking genius.
Brent. Right. Yeah. What the fuck was going on back then? And I and all the way in all the ways they did the whole like, you know, the way the guy does the double take when she when she tells him like my uncle's a shopping cart and he's all you know, he does like a full body triple take on that one.

(29:54):
Like that was very, very 60s Disney comedy right there. I think they may have a patent on it somewhere. Oh, my God. It's Disney.
I wouldn't be surprised. Did you hear that Disney tried to get? No, I'm not going down that one.
We already got two rants. Let's let's let's get moving.

(30:15):
I love that, like when Goodman shows up to face off against the protesters. Oh, yeah, I don't I don't have a speech, but since when do we have and he goes into like this full prepared thing and just perfect.
Got John Goodman being John Goodman just like that. Yep. You want that scene done. Goodman was the guy for it. Oh, 100 percent. Oh, well, and I did enjoy Dick Miller kind of taking that role and like having that bit and just having him show up in this movie as a con man.

(30:47):
That was fun. Yeah, like that was that was a good time for me.
Kelly Martin's character in this.
I have it written here. It's like that's a.
A strong woman.
That is okay. That is a preacher's daughter right there is what that is.

(31:09):
It is and I even wrote it down here. Like I was like, how old are these kids supposed to be?
I always assume they were like, like 1516 like high school freshmen is what I assumed.
You know that that did that did make sense. And then she's talking about how her ex boyfriend that she was all physical with is in prison.
And then you find out that it's like, well, wait a minute.

(31:32):
And this she's all about hooking up with this old like, damn, who is the first for?
We first hear about the ex boyfriend earlier when when his friend is telling him like, oh, she's amazing. I love her. I'm going to ask her out. But you hear about her ex. He's in juvie and for doing this or that.
And then a few scenes later, we actually meet him. He's out of juvie.

(31:55):
He's stalking his ex and he looks like he's 30 years old, which made it just a little bit more uncomfortable for me.
Right. Because I'm looking at a dude I'm like, bro, I could have played this role based off of how old you look. Right. Yeah.

(32:16):
But he was a great character, though. I think that, you know, the the running gag is a subtle and refined art.
And I think he got it perfect with every time he dropped in. I wrote a poem about it.
You know, do you want to hear it like that? It was a good. Yeah, yeah.

(32:37):
I did. I had moments that I did enjoy this. I'm not going to say I didn't.
It's just the things that it me on it were so icky that it over that it overpowered some of them.
And I actually do have a little bit of validation with that. OK, I get to it.

(33:01):
The the two kids having a good and real moment between them.
That was very nice. Like the writing in this and the situations that they created for the characters.
I I thought I thought that was very nice. There were real human moments in this.
Like you could feel the love between the characters. And I thought that was great. Yep.

(33:22):
So well, and even among even even when you take the sort of like the romantic pairs out,
when you take that group of friends, how like you kind of get that sort of like anxiety of like the kids
gathering around the new kid and be like, hey, new kid.
But then, like, as soon as he said, as soon as they're like, oh, yeah, my my dad shipped out, he's he's on the blockade in Cuba.

(33:44):
Like they turn immediately. They're like, oh, bro. OK, here, sit down, have lunch with us.
You're our pal now. You know, it's like that's that's a sort of like.
And that and that is a genuine like kid thing. We see we see things like that happen in real life.
We almost never see it happen in movies and movies.
It's like the intimidating kids stay the intimidating kids the whole way through, you know, often.

(34:08):
Yeah. Yeah. But I feel like that was a that was a good thing.
Like back in the 90s, like a movie that I highly doubt that you ever saw.
The Butter, the Buttercream Gang, the Buttercream Gang.
Nope, I don't believe I've seen that one.
No, that see, that's one of those movies that I think I might be the only person on the planet that saw it.
Huh. OK. Because it but I don't know if this was a thing back when you were in school.

(34:32):
But when I was in school, they had like movie catalogs and book catalogs that would come through
and they'd be like G rated movies and things like that.
OK. And like if you bought a couple, you'd get like a third one free.
OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we had that when I was a kid.
But it was just the books. We didn't get the DVDs in ours.
We had it was school. I mean, we didn't have DVDs when I was a kid.

(34:53):
No, like that was a later thing, too. But it was VHS.
Oh, OK. Yeah.
Now, but I might I might have to go back and look at the cast of the Buttercream Gang
and actually see if that was a good movie and maybe check that out again.
Oh, yeah. Followed by Stan meeting the ex,

(35:14):
which exactly what you were just talking about earlier.
I love it so much. I'll kill you. And I wrote a poem about it.
I hear it like I almost that first poem he recites.
I almost stopped the movie to go write it down
so that I could recite it here on the show to just break down
how this is the most perfectly written bad poem in her any movie history.

(35:39):
Like someone worked really, really, really hard to write the perfect bad poem.
I love bad poetry is a fun thing in and of itself, and I will stand by that.
Yes, I agree. Yeah.
Like I like that there's a there is another scene in another project where

(36:02):
the guy is going he's like a returning soldier from Afghanistan or Iraq.
And he's like, I wrote some poetry. Can I read some wrote to you?
And I was like, no, like, sure. It's really good.
It's like, how about if I can guess one line from one of the poems?
You don't read it. He's like, OK, sure.
But I doubt you're going to. That's our pain burns like frozen fire.

(36:28):
And the guy just like folds it up and puts it into his pocket.
Because shit like that is in every bad poem. Oh, yes. Yeah. Yep.
That is like that is like just the baseline of if you're going to start like if you are in
a like emotionally tortured douchebag and you get into poetry, that's where you start.

(36:49):
Yep. Yep. Which I never fails to get a laugh.
So Jean finds out that Dick is working for John Goodman and Picardo and Goodman.
Oh, this was the scene. This is the scene that basically sold the movie to me when you were pitching it.
Goodman and Robert Picardo chewing scenery up together as going through a tour of the 40 movie theater.

(37:16):
Right. Yeah. What is this? What are you doing? What is this?
Just yeah, it's all it's all good. Yeah. Every part of that was amazing.
Every that was like just absolutely dynamite. The two of them together.
I don't think I've ever seen them together.
Not that I can recall either. Yeah, I think it's the one the one scene I can think of.
What could you imagine the franchise that would have been behind like something with the two of them running the show

(37:40):
or a TV show with the two of them in that?
Oh, yeah. They're both television actors, even though Goodman crosses over nonstop.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Picardo is a heavy TV actor and that never happened.
That that should have happened. Maybe we'll get like a Grayson Frankie type thing.
That would be nice. Yeah. I would like to see.

(38:03):
I would like to see the old guys doing that stuff.
Yeah, like some sort of like new version of the odd couple where they're just two retired guys hanging out.
Like, yeah. Oh, my God. Goodman is Oscar. Yeah. Yeah.
So take my money. Absolutely. And then Stan calls and bails out of pure fear.

(38:30):
Look, I really want to go look at Coral with you, but I just I got to clean and like and yeah, no, you can tell.
Like they did that scene very, very well. I will give them that.
They give that they did that. The acting in this was spot on.
It really was. And I think that's the that's the other thing.

(38:51):
Like like another reason why the I'm forgetting her name again already.
The not Sarah Michelle Geller, Kelly Martin. Thank you.
It was another reason why it was like I kept confusing her with Sarah Michelle Geller is because she had that same kind of like spot on acting talent

(39:12):
where she had her character and the timing and the pacing.
It's like I like it was like she was playing a Sarah Michelle Geller character as well as Sarah Michelle Geller.
You know what I thought she was.
And it really tripped me up because where they staged the movie in I for a moment, I forgot it was in the 90s.

(39:33):
Linda Hamilton. Oh, I can see that, too. Yes.
Yep. That's I thought it was a young Linda Hamilton and I was like, what?
And then it really and then of course I realized it wasn't because this was right years after Terminator one came out and I was like, yeah.
Well, no. But I was like, dude, she. Whoa. She really was spot like this.

(39:54):
Yeah. Oh, this this this kid had had talent.
She had that character down and timing and cadence and everything.
Kind of makes you want to go check out her other work. Kind of does. Yeah. Yep.
Goodman's speech to the theater crew. Outstanding.
And I love that it was just a bunch of old people and all this and they're just like.

(40:17):
And it's getting them to like these are literally like concession stand people and and and and ushers like these are the minimum wage workers of the movie theater industry.
And he's talking to him like they are the troops going into war and they are like, yes, let's do it.
Let's make dreams come true. I like it. I like when you can hype people up like that.

(40:39):
That was good. Yep. Oh, and then Goodman casting Harvey to be mant in the movie theater and giving him the full rundown.
Well, that was a thing. Oh, that was great.
That was that was a guy become the dumb guy. And that's how. Yeah.
Well, and it was an interesting kind of quick one, too, because first we get the scene where it's where it's with Harvey with Dick Miller.

(41:03):
And they're still doing their shtick of like, oh, yeah, this movie that, you know, here's a flyer about how this movie across the street is, is a terrible thing for society.
Even though they're off the clock, they're still doing their con. Good for them. Stay in character.
You know, so I enjoy it. But then he lifts their wallet while he's doing it and they immediately catch him and start smacking him around.

(41:28):
And they give him the best advice this kid has ever had in his life.
They said, dude, get a square job because you're bad at this.
And the very next scene, he's in the man costume talking to John Goodman.
Thanks for this opportunity, sir. Was Dick Miller just cocking back like or that big dude, that big dude, like in the back, just cocking back like he's going to just hammer down on him.

(41:53):
And then Dick Miller give him that. Yep. That was great. That that with that.
That was quality parenting was what that was. You know what? I'll give you that. I'll give it to you. Yeah.
That was that was the five minutes that that kid's life had been missing up to this point. I will agree with that. Yep.
The dream, the dream of the bombs going off and then waking up to his mom watching old home movies of her husband who's off at war.

(42:21):
Oh, yeah. That's what I'm saying. This movie had moments that just I get it. I get it. I get why this movie gets love.
I get why people didn't return. That's what I'm going to stick with that.
OK. The movie starts and then I love that the cardo has like a vault style bomb shelter in the bottom of the theater.

(42:46):
Yeah. Outstanding. Absolutely outstanding. And he's and he's going through the drill.
He's timing how long it takes the door to open and close. And yeah, no, I love this. It is in full panic mode.
Oh, there you go. And then Stan gets busted by the girl for being at the movie because she's there with her little brother.

(43:08):
Right. Yeah. The release of liability in case people die.
One that I love that was that was straight up Hitchcock. Hitchcock actually did that for Psycho. That was that was awesome.
But this is what I wanted to talk about. So the rumble pack and the things that they had in the theater back in the day,

(43:29):
they tried to do for early versions of 4D where they had the movie theater rumbling.
Now in this movie, the balcony falls off. But in real life, what actually happened is people were in the theater and there was one scene where some plaster like fell off the roof and landed on him.
That's all that happened in real life. Of course. Yeah. But that was enough to freak people the hell out. Absolutely. Yeah.

(43:55):
And I kind of get that. Mostly, I don't know what I would be more upset over because it's me. If plaster fell down from the ceiling and landed in my popcorn, I'd be pissed.
I'm crunching away. And then I have to get up because all of a sudden my salt tastes more like roof material. Yeah. Hell no.

(44:21):
That is that is a demand all the money back moment for sure. Yeah. No, I don't I don't disagree.
But they canceled the process for a long time, but they did bring 40 movies back now, which and there are and there are some like I know like if you go to Disneyland,
they've got a couple of movie theaters where they have like the entire seat section will move around.

(44:43):
Like it takes it takes especially engineered theater to do it safely. Yeah, that's the kind of thing that I really want to give like.
But that's the thing like you have to like I would want to choose the right movie.
Like we're probably you know, give it another 1520 years. Oh, yeah, sure. Things that the awesome things that we keep just getting just randomly everything like that.

(45:07):
Give it another 20 years and maybe Jurassic Park because that is the one that is the one that almost all of us are going to agree on.
Yeah, because it has all of the elements that really override.
You have the wind you like could you imagine getting sprayed with some water while the T.
Rex is like screaming at the screen T. Rex spit on the audience.

(45:33):
Yes. Oh, again, shut up and take my money.
What I want. The owner shows up to watch, which I thought was a great thing.
And it just kind of added like wonder from an old man, which is always right.
Which is and it raised the stakes for Goodman's character just a little bit.

(45:55):
You know, it did. But he barely acted like he gave a shit because and that's what I liked about Goodman's characters because it was a lot.
Kids were in trouble. He stepped right up. Yeah, he was like a strangely enough.
He was like the, you know, even though he was supposed to be the very like smarmy, you know,
confidence man coming in to to shill everybody with, you know, this this movie at the same time, he's also like he's the voice of reason in like so many scenes.

(46:22):
Shilling the adults, but he's looking out for the kids.
Good point. That is a very, very good point. Yes. Like that's like that was a that was like a big part of his character is that everywhere he went, everything he was doing, he was always like he was even saying is like, God, I'm in the wrong business.
I could con people so much easier. Yeah. Every one of those kids he treated with absolute respect. Yeah. Pure honesty.

(46:48):
It was great to see like he actually was like a pretty awesome role model. That's true.
Yeah, they do, you know, and when you're just about to get to that, when the kid approaches him and says like that guy who was who was handing out the flyers protesting your movie, I saw him in one of your movies and and John Goodman's.

(47:09):
He tries it first. He's like, oh yeah, he he worked for me. He turned on me. Never mind. Yeah, no, I paid him to do that. Okay, follow me kid. Let me tell let me tell you about the movie business, you know.
And I and I really enjoyed that. Like he just cut the facade and he was being real and kind of offering dreams to kids, which is a really cool character.
One. The funny thing is I totally forgot to because that whole bit where he does like where he talks about the the you know the cave painting.

(47:36):
He's like, you know, we and we put the story, you know, put the cave painting on the wall and we make make the teeth bigger and make it scarier.
And it's you know, it's like I've given that cave painting speech before I forgot that that's where I got it from.
I've talked to I've gone on on tirades about how like the importance of storytelling and I'm like, we've been putting cave paintings on walls before we even knew what money was like.

(48:02):
This is in our blood. Like I've been doing it saying that for years.
And I completely spaced it was from this movie until I literally had a moment where watching it all have stuff like that, man.
Like, yeah, like you hear like the advice that is like an integral part of who you have become.
Yeah. And you know, they're like, yeah, I'm really proud of myself for adopting this.

(48:24):
And then you go back and watch and find out it was from like a cartoon episode. Right. Exactly.
Exactly. Yeah, it's kind of exactly. Yeah. Wait a second. Insulting to the ego. Yeah. I'm like, wait, wait, did I get this from Starscream? Oh my God.
Yeah, no, I need to reevaluate everything.

(48:45):
I kind of dogged myself a little bit here, but at the same time, not. There are life lessons that I took from the X-Men animated series and the Spider-Man animated series from when I was a little kid in the 90s.
Oh, OK. Yeah. Hey, you know, that makes sense.
That. Well, I mean, when you look at the source material for those stories, those that they're not for kids are not for kids. Some are comics that are written for kids are for kids.

(49:18):
Right. Comics as a medium is not is generally less child friendly than any movie and any TV show.
Like they don't they comics pull punches about as much as books pull punches. They don't. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's very true. Like it's very like very real situations. Yeah. Yeah.
You're not if there's no actual humans being harmed and you don't have to ask an actor to even pretend to do it, then you pretty much can do whatever the fuck you want. And they often do. Yeah.

(49:48):
Yeah. No, like there's we've talked about doing some offshoot of like hitting some series and things like that and do stuff that maybe one day we'll we will and then we'll be able to dive in on some stuff like that.
But that's a those are all hefty, hefty subjects. Yeah, no, that's for sure.

(50:09):
But what may have been my favorite singular moment of this movie was when John Goodman was standing in behind and he just reached down and like stole a handful of popcorn and then offered it to the owner.
Little details little moments like that. Yeah, make movies. Perfect for me because why do it.

(50:31):
Just get. Why not. That's the reason. Exactly. Yep.
Watching Mant and I said this earlier, but I probably would watch that movie too.
It was so bad and so good because of it. Yeah, like watching all the actors really tried to be as horrified as they possibly could.

(50:54):
The crazy that goofiest shit in the world. And the crazy thing too is how like there's even like an element of like misdirection involved because what's the preview say?
The preview is like, oh, this is about nuclear war and the end, you know, and yes, it's man fused with an ant because of nuclear radiation.
And then the movie starts. And what is it? It was from the X-rays. He got at the dentist.

(51:22):
That is literally that is the kind of dumb ass movie that I would get too much enjoyment from.
He's sitting there with a giant and had mask on in his dentist's office. That's how the movie starts.
Outstanding. We should never have moved past this. That was that I give credit gold.

(51:44):
Yeah, you got to give credit to Joe Dante. He remembers where he came from.
Well, that but that was the thing. So three of the main actors from that movie were and they're all old, but they were all major actors back in like the 60s and 50s in those kind of movies.
They just they were younger and now they're the older ones. Yeah, that was a great move by Joe Dante. Absolutely. 100 percent. I thought that was awesome.

(52:13):
This is what I'm talking about. Like the movie was so bad. It was good. The movie was in the movie. Right. What do you call that thing? Bill.
That's those that outstanding outstanding. I was all the way in the rumble pack.

(52:34):
But that's that's that's not even the end of it, too. It's like he is the general of the army coming in to try to control the giant ant. And he goes, my God, what do you call that thing?
And she goes, Bill. And he looks at her and then he goes, Hey, Bill.
Okay. Yeah, you're right. You're right. That that is the important part of that one. Yeah.

(52:55):
But how straight face that general was when he did the outstanding perfect. Yeah. Perfect. The rumble pack goes too high and Picardo flips.
He runs down into the bomb shelter thinking that the bombs have dropped because the rubble back in the theater, the man or Harvey dressed as man to come into the movie theater and scare the audience as part of it, which, man, I want to go to a movie theater like that, too.

(53:24):
I miss the showmanship. That's not that sounds so much fun.
And then Stan gets attacked because he's hanging out with Harvey's. Oh, that was. Yeah, that was another great moment.
And again, this goes like and again, like if these kids were not like there's there's the writing of it.

(53:45):
And then there's the perfect delivery of this writing that if these kids were any less talented actors, this would not have worked. And that was the scene before this when our main kid, Gene, is trying to tell the girl, no, no, no, he didn't.
You know, it's not that he didn't want to see you. He's you know, he was because he already promised me that he would come to this and he forgot. And he and it's for my brother. You know, my brother really looks up to him like an uncle.

(54:16):
Oh, yeah. Gene comes in like a strong wingman. Right. Yeah. Gene's really laying it on thick. And the best part about it was when he goes like, yeah, he was he was doing it for my little brother.
And she goes, well, caring about a young boy is important. And right then her brother, her little brother walks up and says, we're missing the movie. And she goes, go away.
And like, boom, boom, boom, perfect timing on all three of these kids wouldn't have like it would not have worked if you didn't have top tier actors and top tier actors that young did kind of give the argument against that the worst things to have on set are kids and animals.

(54:54):
Absolutely. Yeah. No, these these kids nailed it. Yeah. I think I think so. Then they think the attack has begun and they run down to the bomb shelter and find that gun. And then that whole that whole scene, this whole thing.

(55:17):
Here's my here's my justifications. And this is where my justifications are going to start coming in. Okay. We get these two little like babies. 13 year old 14 year old. I don't know how they are 15. Yeah. 1415 is where I look like babies.
And then you get this little girl going, are we the only ones left now? Are we Adam and Eve? Do we need to repopulate the earth? And then they just started going right to the doors have been closed for like two minutes.

(55:48):
And then they like start going into that now I'm like, No, no, no, no, no. This is this is right for me and I know I for me anyway this for me is right in line with that scene from airplane where the little girls all I like my coffee like I like my men to me it's literally the exact same humor comedy on the one side.

(56:12):
I did not want to see Lisa Jacobs first kiss. That's not something I want to be a part of. Okay, more like like Lisa was saying in interviews afterwards she's like, he really wasn't into me I didn't want to do it and it just made it really awkward that we had to do that take like five times.

(56:34):
Oh, damn. Like, so yeah, that's just I mean, just just for Lisa Jacob that really sucks that her first kiss had to be that kind of experience. And I think I was able to feel how much she didn't want to be there.
Because that was really awkward for me. And yeah, I like, sometimes my heart flutters when I see puppy love and stuff like that. This wasn't that neither of those two kids wanted to be there and it was a bunch of adults filming two kids making out who didn't want to be there.

(57:10):
I mean, okay, I could feel that before I before I felt like there was there was awkward hefty awkwardness and that seems it's not it's not that I disagree or anything like that but I for me, I basically had the same experience except instead of in front of a camera it was on stage so I had a live audience

(57:32):
watching me do that. I never had to make out when I was in theater. See I did. Yeah, a smooch. Yeah, I think I think I did a smooch or two. But no, yeah, no, I literally I literally got cast as an actual flanderer in a in a Tennessee Williams play.
So it's and they didn't have you guys pantomime in to like overdo it. And so like that, like, because when we did that they had us like really overdo it and sell it but we were never actually kissing. Nope. Yep. No, it was it was the real thing.

(58:05):
Yep.
In fact, one of them I started dating after the show was over.
Oh no every play I was ever in I dated somebody that was in the play with me afterwards that's just that that only happened to me one time. Yeah.
Really. Yeah.

(58:27):
Way more bored where we came from I guess.
But everyone trying to get in and they're just having a full 14 year old make out session. And then man kids naps the nurse. And then the whole time she said in there. Oh, by the way, when we were watching this Kelly's like, was she in Ghostbusters, I was like,

(58:48):
fuck yeah she was.
Because I complete or not not not ghost of a Casper.
She was the main villain and Casper who was looking right at deed or whatever. That's right. Yes, that's right.
Yeah, like, it took me a moment because like I knew her face already voice. Yeah, but I think we already been all over the place.

(59:13):
She has.
But weirdly.
Another one of those like every time I see her I absolutely love her she blows my mind.
Straight up yes.
I don't think I've seen her in that many things.
Like there there's my genre there's your genre that it goes.
But, no, but, but yeah, like, like you said before, like, that to me like you you mentioned one of your favorite john Goodman moments of stealing the popcorn. For me my favorite john Goodman moment of the movie is after they pop the door, and all the parents catch them there.

(59:46):
You know, and they're and they all of a sudden it's like oh mom, dad, you know, and you're alive and we get and everyone's you know and then the mom says to the kid gene Are you okay, and john Goodman goes, looks like he was doing okay to me.
Like that. That to me was fucking hilarious.
Oh no that was like no like that was funny.

(01:00:07):
Yeah, but just
like I said, I got the kids in my family that are right at that age right now. It ain't working. Okay, it ain't working for me. That's that is not what I want. I don't want. I don't like even thinking about back when I was that age, right now, because I'm worried about boys like me coming up on these girls in my family.

(01:00:30):
I see. Okay, that's what sucks about being a guy is you spend your whole life, being like nah guys aren't that bad. Come on. No, no, no, like kind of stick up for your gender, whatever, until you have little baby girls in your family that start reaching that age and you go.
No,
guys are horrible.
Stay away.

(01:00:55):
The building collapse collapsing with the demented dentist and I love that big boom finale and how good men's like we need to get them out of here and he was right. If you cut that and he says, we can't, they'll stop.
That is the only explanation that is given. And I don't feel like anybody was too dumb to kind of miss that one. But no, no, maybe.

(01:01:21):
Damn.
That triple projection.
Oh yeah, I would love. Yeah, that's another thing I would love to see happen in real life.
I would love to see something like that go down.
Because I could see how well that would work. Yeah, I think, you know, I didn't, you know, they made they made a point because it's kind of one of those like, you know, the technology didn't really exist, but they kind of clued in like, okay, he figured out a whole process

(01:01:50):
to use multiple projectors and that's, that's the thing, you know, and it's in color. That's what really throws everybody off. That's that. That's how it really sells it, you know, and he's able to pull it off because we even when you see when the when the projectors stop that he's got multiple projectors going because one goes out at a time and they're still, you know, and so they're selling the point that while we cannot really explain to you how this works.

(01:02:13):
But the only thing you need to know is that he figured out a way to use multiple projectors to really sell this effect so well that it literally got people running screaming from the theater.
But I bet you could but I mean, how easily we could pull that off now.
A well,

(01:02:34):
depending.
Maybe now what do you mean depending you put like you take one projector going towards the screen and then you rip the screen in a way that can be rebuilt. You have multiple multiple projectors behind that projector doing short projections going into with some potential smoke over it.
So you have the 3D aspect that is going over the project like the projector going on to the smoke, giving it that effect and you could have that kind of flame behind it being projected and looking realistic as hell.

(01:03:05):
They do it at Cirque du Soleil all the time. You can watch like YouTube videos on how amazing that looks.
I like it can be done. I would love to see it be done.
And of course, because it's a 90s movie, does not matter how big or little you need a car chase.
It was. Yeah, but it was a little car chase, you know, but it's Joe Dante. What is his thing? Like I said, big or little. It's a one. It's a it's a it's a one block car chase. That's the that's the Joe Dante signature, a car chase that lasts for a single block.

(01:03:42):
That's it. He goes around the corner. Boom, done. It's like, wow.
I'm really glad that I got invested into that. I feel like I feel like that may have even because it was the 90s and it was kind of one of those things where like studio execs would say like you got to have a car chase audiences love the car chases.
So maybe this was Dante's response to that. Like, OK, I'll give you your car chase, bitch.

(01:04:07):
I would love that to be true. That would be fun. That would give me a little bit of bonus on Dante. However. I doubt it.
I mean, it's just as likely that Dante just said, it's my movie. There has to be a car chase in everyone.
Just like in Tom Cruise, he has to run. Right. Yeah.

(01:04:30):
I would love like I'd love to find out that Dante was the cool guy on it. But there's just as big odds that Dante was a dick about it.
Yeah, you're. Yes, that's true. You're right.
Do the practical effect on saving Dennis on that balcony, the little brother. Yeah.
The practical effects of that whole balcony falling down, the chairs flying up like the seats from the theater launching in the air. So good. Yeah. Incredible.

(01:05:01):
That's that's what we've lost with going on to CG and stuff like that.
Nobody, nobody would ever think to do to CG theater seats in that situation, flying off all cartoon like like that because it didn't look real.
It didn't look real, but it looked awesome. Well, see, that's the thing. Yeah, it was real, but but it didn't look real.

(01:05:27):
So it looked goofy. They remove reality in these CG shots because goofy shit happens that just doesn't match the scene.
No, that's true. Yeah, that was just real. And it increased like the panic and anxiety and the tension of it, which always happens.
Anytime I watch something being done with practical action once again, the bees, the bees. Yep.

(01:05:53):
Talking Candy Man, if you're using practical effects, it is always going to be it's always going to hit us way harder than computer generated.
That's just real. Yep. When the firefighters like come out of the theater like there's no fire in there. No, I turned it off.

(01:06:17):
And so calm to like that's a perfectly reasonable response like that.
That is a better like that is that is I put that as a better John Goodman moment over that vault scene.
Okay, like say so. But that is the personal stuff.
I wish I could show you my note right here. Hard to believe you're a grown up. I wrote that in quotations.

(01:06:44):
That's why Doc likes this movie.
That is literally on my note. Fair, fair, fair.
Like the mom calls the boys in to tell them that it's all over. The Cuban Missile Crisis is done.

(01:07:06):
Their father's going to be coming home. They drive off talking about the two kids and maybe getting married.
Nice moment there. Maybe he doesn't he doesn't propose to her, but he does kind of like that's why I say yeah. Yeah.
He's like, yeah, seeing those kids and you know, maybe it'd be nice to have kids and she's all you got to get married first.

(01:07:28):
He goes, yeah, I know. And then it's just sort of a leave it there. Like life is good.
You know, ending the movie that has been all about these little kids talking about who want to do her with.
Are you fucking kidding me? You literally end this child movie with the jungle sex music.

(01:07:57):
Well, to be fair, they also kind of started the movie with it earlier on. Like that was the that was the that was the music they went to sleep to after the after they got the news that their father might be killed by the Russians.
Oh, was it? I missed that. Yeah. Okay.
Then I'm going to I'm going to eliminate my final critique there because I am aware Ace Ventura is what turned that into.

(01:08:21):
I was going to sex music. I was going to say like that that happened a couple years later. It took not long, like maybe two years later.
But yeah, before that, it was just a very, you know, nostalgic 60s hit. Yeah, I'll have to I'll have to knock that critique.
That is that is one that I will knock. However, time did not serve that well.

(01:08:44):
Because like my little literally my last note is enough with the sex music. These are kids.
So I will I will knock that critique. That song became something after. Yes.
Fair.

(01:09:09):
Personal favorite moments of the movie, Doc, what are your thoughts? Personal favorite moments of the movie.
I did already describe it. The part where John Goodman's given the the kid the the speech about, you know, the cave, the cave paintings and and that sort of like this is something we do.
We do. That was my most heartfelt moment of the movie. That whole walking down that sidewalk. Yeah.

(01:09:32):
That felt like I'm like a mentor. Yeah. Yeah. And that's yeah.
And that's why I say I imagine this was probably, you know, to a certain degree, Dante is just kind of like personal love letter to Roger Corman, because I imagine that was probably a lot of their own interaction.
He probably had a moment like that with Corman that he was heralding in that scene. I would imagine that. Yeah, I can see that.

(01:09:58):
All right. Any final thoughts before we move on to the next?
Oh, are we going to call it a must see? I do.
I think personally and and not because of just specifically this one, but like I said before, every every director has to do at least one movie where they talk about what where they basically make a movie about what it was like going to movies when they were kids.

(01:10:25):
Spielberg's got one. Scorsese's got one. Kevin Smith just came out with his earlier this month.
I think they're all must sees because especially nowadays with, you know, more things and streaming less people spending the time and money to go to theater.
The whole theater experience is starting to tighten in to kind of basically be the same thing as like the like live action theater thing.

(01:10:48):
It's becoming a more special occasion, a more elitist thing. It's not as much of a part of everyday life as it used to.
So I feel like all of these movies about made by filmmakers about the love of going to the movie theater, I think is going to become more and more important over time.
I can see that coming from and for that reason.

(01:11:11):
I can see that I can't call it a must see not like.
And it's it's it's because there are better examples like the one that I would call the must see is the one who did it best.
I don't think this one did it best. And I don't think there was anything specific in this that wasn't done better in another movie.

(01:11:38):
If it weren't for John Goodman and potentially the actor who played Harvey.
Okay. And just the other Joe Dante isms. Right there in there.
Like if you're a fan of Joe Dante, definitely go check this one out, especially if you missed it.
Like, absolutely. Like that is a thing.

(01:11:59):
I would call mannt more of a must see.
That's fucking cold, dude. Come on. Come on.
But there but there are like that's kind of thing.
Like, I don't know if the people who would benefit from this being a must see are still around.

(01:12:24):
Like the ones who recognize these actors from the 50s in the 60s who were in the movie within the movie.
That is like, oh, I don't think that kind of that would come from that.
I don't think it's totally necessary.
I mean, if you are enough of a movie nerd that you go back and research it.
Well, sure. Well, no, that's why I'm saying like this for this movie for general audiences.

(01:12:46):
I don't think people would gravitate to it.
I think specific audiences would like people who were big fans of like 50s, 60s, like sci fi, fantasy horror movies, things like that.
Right. This would be the movie that they would watch and go, yes.
Like, so if you come across somebody who's really into those old movies, send them to matinee.

(01:13:11):
One hundred percent. I don't think that's a bad decision.
But I do think there are still a bunch of people who just.
Me. OK. Filmmakers, movie lovers.
Yes. General audiences.
OK. All right. But that's where I'm coming from.
But I do see where you're coming from.

(01:13:34):
All right. Well, that was all I had to say about it then.
All right. And moving on to.
The Porkchop Express.
Big trouble in little China.
Absolutely. Absolutely.

(01:13:55):
It was down the up just one of my favorite movies of all time and loved loved going back and revisiting it for this channel because.
When you casually watch it, it's fun.
When you really pay attention to it, it's a good movie.

(01:14:17):
OK.
The exposition, the storytelling, there's not a flaw.
There's a flaw. Yeah, sure.
No characters, things like that.
Props. Here's the thing, though.
But the story. This is one of this is one of the better examples.
I got to say, this is and, you know, it's not.

(01:14:40):
So this has been my thing.
I have an issue with John Carpenter and I did do my best to set it aside.
All right. John Carpenter has an issue with storytelling.
Because the first act of any John Carpenter movie is the best goddamn movie you've ever seen in your life.

(01:15:02):
And then it just dies horribly on the vine after that.
That's true. Like there are like within the ending on this one.
This might be my favorite John Carpenter ending, though.
And this definitely is the better one of those. Yes. And I think in this goes to when we were talking about before the even shows the show even started.
You know, the major and I think the most saving grace of this movie is that this is a movie that gives no fucks.

(01:15:27):
There was no part of there was no part of this movie where anybody asked, do we know why we're doing this?
Do we care? Like like Kurt Russell actually specifically tried to turn down this movie not because he didn't want to do it,
but because he had a string of flops going into it and he like he told me, he's like, I don't want like this seems like a lot of fun and I don't want to ruin your movie.

(01:15:49):
John Carpenter said, I don't care. Yeah. You are Jack Burton. Yep.
So, yeah, I think that's probably what was that like the big difference between this and any other Carpenter movie that I've had an issue with is that this one ceased to try.
They're just like, we're just going to do some shit and see what happens. And they did some shit and shit happened.

(01:16:12):
If that is how they went into it, then that is how they should have made every movie because 100 percent.
Yes. Flat out. I'm sorry. Egg Shen played by Victor Wong. Yep.
One of my favorite characters in all of like movie history, he gives all of the exposition for this movie.
You have no narrator in this movie. There's a scene in this movie where Kurt Russell is just like, what's in the bottle?

(01:16:42):
Magic. He's like, what's in the bottle? Magic Potion. Yep. What do we do with it? Drink it. Yeah.
And like all egg is doing is just, yep, yep. And you get this big dumb guy just coming through.
He's asking questions and that's how we're getting the exposition.
Well, and also and also and that was, you know, and the same thing with egg is that, you know, he's got that sort of like old man, you know, kind of non-specific wisdom going on.

(01:17:09):
Like when they're going when they're actually starting the invasion of the secret hideout and it's like, oh, it's a pole that goes down to the ground with weird lights and stuff.
And it's like, what's that? Well, that's, you know, how we're going to get to him. And where's that?
And he just looks and goes, where's the universe? And then they go, but it's like, but it's like, what's creepy magic?
I really, really appreciate it because there's a line we talked about this from the first movie where you were talking about with in matinee where you got that cave painting speech that right.

(01:17:42):
We came from there. The whole tough guys like like the feel of nature on their face.
Yeah. Well, a wise man has enough sense to get out of the rain. Right. Yes. I have used that so many times in my life.
And I am so happy that egg shin gave me that when I was a kid, because, yeah, I know how to be wet and going off and working on something.

(01:18:06):
Is that my desired state? No. Wet shoes suck.
Yes. Yep. All right. The only thing worse than wet shoes is one wet shoe.
Oh, yeah, I'll give you that. That is that is just a disturbing feeling. All right.
So Big Trouble in Little China directed by John Carpenter, written by Gary Goldman, David Z Weinstein and W.D.

(01:18:33):
Richter, starring and I love this Kurt Russell, Dennis Dunn, Kim Cattrall, James Hong and Victor Wong with Kate Burton,
Donald Lee, Carter Wong, Peter Kwong, James Pax and Suzy Pye.
Dude, dude, dude. And I'll tell you, man, and not to knock on Jack Burton,

(01:18:58):
but Kim Cattrall did not get enough screen time in this movie. Her character was so amazing.
She was in almost every scene of the movie after I couldn't get enough.
What could not enough of her? Not enough. She needed more, needed more of her whole weird thing going on as a knock towards the movie.

(01:19:19):
But I put that as an actual bonus towards the movie because you had so much of a character who was a side character and you still wanted more.
Not knocking it at all. Not knocking it at all.
In fact, I'm saying like I'd like not to suck against Burton is what I'm saying. Like, I get it.
But that's the thing. That's basically what I'm saying is like her character specifically was so fucking good that yes, wanted more of her wish that wish there was more of her in it.

(01:19:45):
You know, would have would have been would have been OK if they actually did just write Kurt Russell out and just made her the star of the movie.
I would have been fine with that. Her character was awesome.
You would have been great. Jack Burton was my see. That's the thing.
So this movie is starring not the main character. That's what I really love about this movie.

(01:20:09):
The main the main character in this movie is I think it's Dennis Dunn.
He is the one who is absolutely argument could be made for James Hong, who played David Lopan, which now that you have watched Chuck, did you get that joke?
David Hong plays a character named Lopan in Chuck, like episode three or something.

(01:20:36):
I guess I forgot about it. Remember the sizzling shrimp?
Kind of. Yeah, they go off to that. Right. So yeah, no, you remember in the wheelchair.
That is James Walker. That is. Yeah, that's James Hong.
And his character's name is Lopan. Dude, that show did not catch that every every single episode is just littered with film nerd jokes.

(01:21:00):
It is amazing. I have I have caught a few of them. I did appreciate them. Yes.
But that I missed I missed that one. I missed the Lopan one.
But then back in on Big Trouble in Little China, Big Trouble in Little China.
And we already went through the opening. And so but we did.
We open on Egg Shen, played by Victor Wong, being asked for his version.

(01:21:21):
And I just love the you mean the truth. I love that. I love that.
That was a weird scene, too, like right off the bat.
We're going like, wait, what's going on here? Because first, it sounds like he's being deposed because they've got a stenographer there.
They're like, let's get the. Yeah, right. You know, let's get you know what you're holding.
But then, like right in the middle of it, the guy who's supposedly getting him on the record is like, look, if I'm going to be your lawyer, then we and I'm like, wait a second.

(01:21:51):
What? Why is why is this on the record there if you're his fucking lawyer?
Good question. Good question. All right.
But which again brings us to this this movie gave zero fucks because how else are they going to get that formal introduction of who I who he is and what he's doing there?

(01:22:12):
If not for the police state for the record, you may say this movie gave zero fucks, but the amount of effort that this movie put in and the amount of everything like I loved it.
Ooh, I love it. Yeah. He's just like he's just young. He was young. I don't know if it was. Did he say that he was his lawyer?
I actually did miss that. I didn't. He didn't. He said he said if I'm going to be if I'm going to represent you.

(01:22:38):
So basically, I'm going to help you like out here. I thought I thought it was like the cop type thing.
But yeah, no, he said if I'm going to he says if I'm going to be your lawyer was the actual line. Yes.
And so this was just yelling at him to leave Jack Burton alone. Yeah. And I like like he like he's the judge or he's the cop or something like that.
It's like, dude, what? Yeah. What is this conversation? That is good. That isn't actually really clear. That is a good point.

(01:23:04):
I'll give you that. OK, fine. Fine. But then the guy's like, you believe in sorcery.
How can how can you believe that? How can I know? And then he showcases him, which I like that.
That was a good decision because instead of, well, let me tell you a story and just you should believe.
And then at the end, no, he roped him in right at the beginning. And I enjoyed that very much.

(01:23:28):
We established very early on. Yet this is this is not a audience decides kind of thing.
This is not the usual suspects where what what parts of the truth?
He fucking makes lightning with his hands right there. So it's like, OK, we are establishing that this is not bullshit what we're about to see.
Right. And then right to my favorite. Hello, Pork Chop Express.

(01:23:50):
And then basically the original form of podcasters just kicking stories over the CB radio, cruising down the road.
I and I like the way that we learn about his character, we know who he is the second he opens his mouth.
And, yeah, absolutely perfect. The first mention of in the reflexes, which that got paid off a few times.

(01:24:18):
Yep. Never in a bad way. It always worked out. Even in my notes, man, I couldn't help it.
I just kept referring to him as old Jack Burton, old Jack Burton making his way through Chinatown to the all night game.
And I did enjoy the fact that the way this game went, it was friendly, it was friendly, and then it looked like it was about to turn ugly.

(01:24:43):
And I believed it was. Yeah, like that was something that I really like.
I enjoyed that moment. And then, of course, tries to break the bottle in half for nothing or double, which great decision to say nothing or double.
Never said like that before and immediately puts any time that that is said to this movie.

(01:25:07):
Mm hmm. Yep. Because the because the way most people say it is double or nothing. He says nothing or double.
So, yeah, it gets your attention right off the bat. Yes. Pulls you right into it.
And I appreciate that. And trying to break the bottle and then Jack Burton catching it.
I love that was like, so it works at home. Isn't that the way it always goes?

(01:25:30):
That that was a that was a good line for me. I really appreciated that.
And then to the airport to pick up the girl with green eyes.
There was there was yeah, there was there was an interesting like, you know, progression of, you know, there's this and then there's this.
It's like. He OK, he's at the all night gambling.

(01:25:53):
There's a tense moment, nothing or double. He loses. All right. You owe me two grand now.
I ain't got it. Well, I ain't leaving until you hand it over because I don't try. I'll get it to you next time.
Nope. No next time. Give it to me now. Well, I got to go pick somebody up at the airport. Fine. I'll drive you.
We now have a perfectly reasonable explanation why this random truck driver is showing up at the airport.

(01:26:19):
That's what I'm saying, man. Yeah. The story made sense.
And that to a point, you're going to have to you're going to have to try to hit it because I will defend it.
But when they get there and then we get our first look at Kim Cattrall as Gracie Law.
Yeah. And a joke that a recurring joke that was through the whole movie.

(01:26:41):
And I thought about going back and rewatching it again just so I could write down all the different hells that they mentioned.
The hell of burning fire, fire, the hell of being stabbed, all that.
But my favorite hell that they mentioned was what the hell is Gracie Law doing here?
Like they're going through the different hells and then the hell is Gracie Law doing here?

(01:27:05):
Like the fact that they cut the what from that question made that what it was.
And that was beautifully brilliant writing in my mind. It's pretty funny. Yeah.
How much Wang was absolutely obsessed with Miao Ying or Miao Miao Yao. Crap.
I think it was Miao Ying. But how much he was obsessed with this woman and head over heels there.

(01:27:30):
His spirit is going north and south and everything's out of whack.
Wang is our hero. Right. One hundred percent. Jack Burton is his sidekick.
Yeah, we just are following the sidekick the whole movie. And that was amazing to me.
It was so much fun because what we were talking about with aspects of what we are writing into our books.

(01:27:56):
Right. Yes. And we talked about like the perspective shift.
It was great that we wound up going right into Big Trouble in Little China.
Quite possibly in my mind, the best example of the movie following not the main character. Yes.
Yes. Yeah. Like my god. And even kind of, you know, intentionally tricking the audience, you know, into it.

(01:28:20):
Like usually when we have because they will have stories where you're not following the main character,
you're following someone who's observing the main character, but they usually present themselves to like that.
You know, you're very famously, you know, Watson in Sherlock. He says right up front, I'm not a part of the story.
I'm just telling you what I saw Sherlock do. This does not do that.

(01:28:43):
This is Jack Burton thinks he's the hero of the story and is very much not. And that is somehow better.
Oh, yeah. Oh, God. His bravado is what makes this so damn entertaining.
Without his bravado, this would be just a regular action movie. Yeah. Action, fantasy.
That's it. His bravado is what makes this a top comedy. Yeah.

(01:29:05):
What I loved about the ending of that scene at the airport is that over the top tough guy one liner that just like they kidnap the girl and they run away.
Son of a bitch must pay. Just the sheer insistence on yes, like how he delivered that was and then absolutely aligned that that is Sylvester Stallone

(01:29:33):
would have thought was the deepest line of the movie if it was him.
That's how it would have been delivered. Yeah.
But could you imagine any other actor of that time being this role?
No, no. Yeah. I mean, if we're talking like one other actor that I can possibly think even could have that would have done about about the same.

(01:29:56):
And that's Bruce Willis, his 90s mixture of comedy and tough guy.
Yeah. And maybe and maybe not, because I think that's that was no actually no tough guy.
That wouldn't have. Yeah. No, that wouldn't have worked because that was that was part of his charm was the fact that his action characters didn't even take themselves seriously.
Jack Burden takes himself too seriously. That's what makes it work.

(01:30:20):
See, I don't think anybody else could have done this. Yeah.
Like I was reaching with Bruce Willis, but no, you can make the only other big the only other big action guys at the time where you got your Schwarzenegger, you got Stallone.
Dolph Lundgren was still pretty pretty big at that time, but even he I don't think would have been able to pull it off.

(01:30:41):
So, yeah, yeah. Kurt Russell is probably the only one.
With Snipes around yet, I don't think he came. I don't think he came up until a few years later.
No, Snipes was already in. Was he? Okay. He wasn't big, big, but he was already in. Yeah.
Yeah, no. Snake Plissken. That's him.

(01:31:04):
But then we get our in-story introduction of Egg Shen on his tour bus and they that's what I like.
Egg Shen, he's given that tour and all that and he does that very nice at the end when he's done talking.
Like I thought I thought that was a nice little character addition.
I really enjoyed that. Right. And they have that whole chasing and they wind up on the funeral procession against the Lords of Death.

(01:31:32):
And I forgot to write down the other game, but this was so fucking out of left field.
Like we're chased, where you like kidnap from the airport, chasing her down, bring a Mack truck down an alley in Chinatown to chase down the kidnapped victim and run right headlong into a funeral that is then attacked by a rival gang.

(01:31:59):
What the actual fuck? Good times. That's what that is. That's a good time.
Every part of every part of that is completely insane.
Correct.
And so much fun.
My big one super big nitpick on this is they had a bunch of dudes in white robes get shot and not one drop of blood.

(01:32:27):
No, yeah. Well, you know, don't dress them in white. Dress them in red if you can do that.
They needed their PG-13 rating. So, you know, they couldn't show blood.
Stupid.
But then we get our first look at the three storms and low man, which I don't think it was until this this watching that I realized that you see the human version of young low pan before you see the sorcerer version of young low pan.

(01:32:59):
Yeah, well, and I remember here's the thing, though, and this okay.
And again, with this, this is nitpicky shit. I know that this is not mean knocking the movie or nothing. This is one of those things where, like, when I saw it here, I actually had like a flashback of being angry about it as a kid.
And it was the first scene when we see low pan.

(01:33:22):
And he drives the truck over him.
Okay, and then we find out later the reason why the truck passed right over him is because he's, you know, in this form, he's immaterial. That's his curse. When he's in his young form, he has no material.
That's why he wants to do this whole thing. If he's going to be solid, he's in the crippled old man body that that, you know, hurts to move.
And that's the curse. He's trying to get lifted, except that in that scene, when they drive the truck over him and he passes through it, he doesn't pass through it.

(01:33:49):
You clearly see the low pan dummy get hit and fall under the truck. And that annoyed the shit out of me as a fucking child.
And it just annoyed me all over again when I saw it today.
That is true. That is something that it always kind of that that did bother me, especially when you see how well they show him going through walls later in the movie.
Exactly. It's not like they didn't have the effect on hand. Exactly. Yes.

(01:34:13):
OK, I can give you that. I can give you that. But that is nitpicking. And you. Yeah. And like I said, it's my I'm not that's not one of my reasons why why I would not this movie at all.
I don't. But here's the thing. Like, I don't really knock this movie. I totally get why people enjoy it. I did enjoy it.
I would tell people to see it because, yes, it is. And it's an extravaganza of insanity that must be witnessed.

(01:34:38):
I just don't see it as. Like, it's not it's not it's something other than.
I don't know. I can't I can't put my finger on exactly it to say like, it's not really a story.
That's not true. It's not really a movie. Oh, you're not that guy. You're not going to say that shit.
Oh, no, it is. It is a hell of a story. There is a lot of movie. I. Yeah, I love this.

(01:35:05):
But yeah, it's it's but that's the thing is like for me, it's you know, if we're comparing it to something like Matt and a you know, I think I think if Matt if the time period of Matt and a took place 30 years later,
the so bad it's good movie that they're going to see is Big Trouble in Little China instead of Mant.

(01:35:28):
Oh, you think you got hatred for what you said about Requiem?
Oh, oh, buddy. No. Oh, no.
Manos Hands of Fate. Yes. The Room. Yes. Big Trouble in Little China. No.

(01:35:57):
Oh my God. You can't go into this movie and come out of it having not laughed.
That is not going to happen.
Not for anybody. They like I seriously doubt that. Goofy mode like people like there's not. I don't think a person could watch Big Trouble in Little China and actually come out of it with the actual statement.

(01:36:24):
I didn't have a favorite part. Oh, no, it is. It is a good time. Don't get me wrong. That's kind of what I'm saying. But it is it is a it is it is it is a it is a schlock fest.
It is a it is an exploitation film. It is a you know, the sets were clearly dressed by what they had lying around and granted they did a great job.

(01:36:48):
But this was this was a this was a cheap paycheck for everyone involved like and there's nothing wrong with that. Some great shit has been made that way.
I so you know.
See, but the way that you describe it makes it sound like they failed. And I just don't agree. And I'm not saying that. No, I'm not saying that at all. Say that it like to like the thing like when you're saying like you're trying to figure out like how to describe it.

(01:37:17):
Like it's not a movie. It's not like it doesn't have a story.
Wow, the amount of fights I have coming up with me on that. Okay, but that's the thing. It comes down to like where at the at the end of the conversation, it's would we call this a must see is this something we would recommend to other people?
For me, as much as I can admit that yes, there's a lot a lot of fun in Big Trouble in Little China. It's not one that would call a must see in any regard to anyone. I would say if it's if it's on if it's on like that.

(01:37:50):
Yeah, I definitely call it a must see.
And I guess it is an example of it actually all working. So many filmmakers have tried and failed to do something like this. This is the example of how it should be done, or how it could be done.
Like that's okay. The when you take like when you take it as seriously as because they know they're campy. They know like the camp, it's there and they embrace it. Yep, they know that they weren't making the ultimate horror movie or anything like that.

(01:38:27):
No, for fuck sakes, the final battle had a big skull with neon lights around it. They knew and an escalator. Yes, I know. And an escalator, which was my god. See, like, this is a comedy.
No, and that is where it wildly succeeds. And and I did say this like this movies in in every in every complaint that I could possibly have about this. It's one major saving grace that makes the whole thing worthwhile is that this is a movie that gives no fucks.

(01:39:01):
Okay. And that's great. It that comes out, you can tell that whoever like not just Carpenter, and not just Kurt Russell, everyone involved in the making of this movie was having a great time just going nuts with whatever they were doing. And it shows.
And that's, and that's what makes it fun. If this movie were on TV, I would say, Oh, yeah, since isn't, you know, since it's on, you should watch it. It's fun. Well, here's the thing.

(01:39:30):
Like I said, jumping to the end. I can't think of a person I wouldn't recommend this to. That's that's the thing. Like, like, there are people that I wouldn't recommend go watch a movie about the Cuban Missile Crisis, because they just don't give a shit.
And they don't care about filmmaking aspects and things like that and the general movie going experience.

(01:39:55):
Big trouble and Little China is a movie that people who don't even like movies will still enjoy.
Like it supersedes, even what it is because it's just, oh my god, there's something literally in this one for everybody.
And okay, as much as I kind of want to agree that it is kind of like a Chinese exploitation film.

(01:40:22):
They don't go hard enough in the paint for it to be one.
No, they really mean there were moments of this where I'm wondering if like the fact that they even had Jack Burton and and and Kim Cattrall, Jody Law, Jody Law.
Gracie Law, the Jack Burton and Gracie Law were basically there to sell them to the studio like they wanted to they wanted to just make a full on Chinese action movie with all of the legendary in-flight swordfights and everything.

(01:41:01):
But the studio wasn't going to fund them if they didn't have white people in it.
And so they just plug Jack Burton and Gracie Law in for funsies to sell it. And if the I mean granted as much as both of their characters were awesome.
If you take them both out, the movie still works great. Yep. Yep. It's just not a comedy. That's true.
Yes. No, like the inclusion of them is what makes it a comedy like that. That is very that is absolutely true.

(01:41:26):
Yes. I don't think there's a punchline from anybody else. I mean, egg shin. Yeah.
Out is hilarious, but I don't. Yeah. He's just. Yeah. Yeah.
And most and most of the funny things that he says are making fun of Jack Burton to a certain degree.
So, you know, but yeah, no, I think you're right. Yeah. Yeah.
Like Jack Burton was kind of the character like he was us fish out of water in the world, learning everything as it's coming along.

(01:41:56):
But what I look seriously, what I appreciated about this movie more than.
Oh, my God, the more I think about it, the more it reigns supreme.
The lack of the lack of in your face exposition.
If you cared to listen to it, you you could key in and you could get all of the story, but you didn't need it at all.

(01:42:23):
And they treat you like you needed it. They did.
They did have like a specific exposition scene like the there's that scene where when like after the the first Chinese God that low pan is trying to appease.
I don't remember his name. He said it like 50 times in the movie.

(01:42:44):
That's why I'm saying the exposition is not in your face.
It is so, so hidden. And they like they do tell a little bit.
Really, it's just setups for like when when when when egg first when egg first shows up on the scene that as opposed to like his introduction scenes, you know, the tour and the and the and all that.
Like when he first shows up and he's reading the bones, there's a whole scene where he's literally explaining to Gracie Law what's going on.

(01:43:10):
Jack Burton's not getting any of that story because he's already halfway down the street trying to with his friends trying to rescue the girl.
But he's like that whole scene he's on the phone talking like that's actually where we're at in the notes.
You want to get back to it? OK, OK.
So back at the restaurant with Jackie yelling at the insurance and meeting Eddie and finding out about a stolen truck.
And then you get a wang in the background.

(01:43:33):
How do you think I feel? I lost a whole girl.
That was a good. That was a really good line.
I have to take back what I just said about everybody like nobody else getting a punch line.
That was very funny. That was a good one.
And I love how dumb they make him look when they go to that whorehouse.
Right. Yeah. And the little character that he puts on there.

(01:43:56):
Fun, fun, fun, fun. And everything that is happening around him is very serious.
The the music composition, it is indicating various serious things are that is something I did want to toss to the music composition.
And this was actually very, very good.
But John Carpenter does kind of he lands with that pretty, pretty often.

(01:44:20):
Yeah. Yeah. Well, he usually he usually does his own composition, doesn't he?
Hasn't he always been a musician and he composes the music?
I know that I'm like 90 percent sure he does the music composition for most of his movies.
I know the movie he did with Bon Jovi. He used a lot of Bon Jovi music.
Well, so, you know, there's that I mean, yeah.

(01:44:41):
Let's see. I love like when you get like Gracie Law, like she sneaks off to go talk to that reporter.
She's like, we've got one of our best inside stirring the pot.
Like the way that she is talking is fucking hilarious.
Oh, her whole. Yeah.
Like, yeah, Gracie Law clearly is insane, whoever the hell she is.

(01:45:05):
Yeah. Everyone says that she's a lawyer, you know, which is extra funny that her name is Gracie Law.
She's Gracie Law lawyer. We don't see her do any lawyering at all in this entire movie.
She's just there to basically make things crazy.
No. So the reason that Gracie Law was at the airport in the beginning of the movie

(01:45:27):
is because she was trying to protect her friend Tara's human rights and she was trying to help her immigrate into the country.
Oh, that's right. As a lawyer. OK. In the beginning.
And she's trying like. Yeah, everything went down.
But the attack on the whorehouse meant like this is just I like when they throw these things in,

(01:45:51):
like when the madam or the pimp gets, it's got during the.
Yeah, I loved watching that little old lady just sailing through the wall.
That's kind of a messed up line. Like the stuff the stunt folks really deserve all the awards for this movie for sure.
Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah. Oh, they they really without big trouble in little China.

(01:46:15):
Do you know what we would never have had? Rumble in the Bronx.
Mortal Kombat. Oh, that's right. Yes, that's right.
That's right. Yes, because the because Raiden is even based off of one of those storm guys.
Yeah. And Lope or Shang Chi is based off of Lopan.
That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Johnny Gage is Jack is basically Jack Burton.

(01:46:38):
I guess. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
Like you kind of go all the way through it.
Liu Kang is Wang Gracie Law.
Like you have the blonde with the green eyes who works for law enforcement.
Sonya Blade. Oh, that's a really good point.
Oh, my God. Mortal Kombat is just a rip off of of the big trouble.

(01:46:59):
They own it, though. So it's true.
That's where they kind of get away with it.
But there's a big trouble.
Oh, my God. If you're a Mortal Kombat fan, I have to send you to go watch Big Trouble in Little China.
That is a necessity. Yes, for sure.
Like it is culturally. It has impacted America in a pretty significant way.

(01:47:21):
So I and the world. Oh, I win.
Must see. It has impacted the world. Whatever.
Oh, oh, hell, yeah. I walked into a winning argument on accident.
Over to Gracie's and Margot, I don't like movie fight anymore.

(01:47:47):
Maybe we should come up with more parameters or something.
We need a moderator. That would be the way you need a moderator.
Yeah, that like that way. It's not just kind of us like cave in.
And because we're both kind of pushovers when it comes to friends.
So us having movie fights with each other is not.
We do need a moderator in the future.
And we and we can't do it by audience participation because audience clearly hates me.

(01:48:13):
That's been made very clear. I didn't want to say anything.
But, man, you got to pick some movies that you want to win.
Do you want to know? Do you want to know the score on which would you rather between Big Trouble in Little China and Matinee?

(01:48:35):
Is it another is it another zero to 100? Not quite 100.
The third option was I'd rather watch the V.P. debates on.
And that got 13 percent.
But, yeah, man, Matinee got no love. See, but that's why I'm here because you're wrong.

(01:48:58):
No, I get that. And like I said, I had a few moments in there.
The only reason I think the only reason my movies get such low ratings is because they're movies nobody's even heard of.
And that's the entire reason why I'm choosing these movies is so you'll hear of them.
There is that. But that is why we haven't been playing the audience participation for the polls.

(01:49:19):
It's just. Kind of sad.
But Kate Burton, who plays Margot Litz and Berger in this, is the walking exposition of this movie between her and Egg Shen,
just them kind of going back and forth. And it's usually kind of just happening in the background while we're watching like the action people get ready to do some action.

(01:49:42):
Yeah, she was all she was also gay. It was interesting how they.
Yeah, they like. She's a reporter, but she's not like a big time reporter.
She's like a community newspaper, low grade reporter.
She's very nervous about doing this. She's probably she's not. She doesn't seem to be very good at this job, but she does.
But she does what needs to be done as far as like being that kind of character,

(01:50:05):
another foil with which to tell the story through and and kind of not quite chewing the scenery the way Kim Cattrall is.
But now it looks like she was trying to be like give the same performance as Kim Cattrall, just like.
But every time every time commit as far right.
Yeah, every time King Cattrall delivered a line, she just went, never mind.

(01:50:31):
Yeah, I mean, Kim Cattrall, I mean.
Who was the weak link in this movie, do you think was there one?
I don't think there was one. I think every actor was believable, gave a great performance.
Everybody got their moment. I mean, yeah, no, I don't think anyone was a weak link.

(01:50:53):
The cast very, very well as far as the talent. Yeah, the two.
I mean, basically the two. The two Chinese girls who came in on the plane, both Cattrall's friend and the fiance,
they kind of, you know, they were never really given enough opportunity to be characters.
They were kind of more plot devices.

(01:51:14):
But I don't think either of them really like fell short in what was expected of them when they did have lines.
They did fine. And so, yeah.
So, yeah, I wouldn't call them weak links as much as they were, you know, a little little underused, maybe.
OK, OK, I'll concede to that.
I love this delivery from Gracie. I go with you, but I know there's a problem with your face.

(01:51:40):
Like he says it like in a heroic way and she's just like.
Well, yeah, but like not like that's not how you say that.
You know, to say to have it put that way.

(01:52:02):
Come on, this movie.
Somebody thought that up and was has been waiting for years to put it in a movie.
I would agree with that. I think you and I both have lines that we have been holding on to that I've written down somewhere
in like the depths of our souls that are waiting for the right time to say it.
I'm not I'm not throwing this old phone away because it's got notes on it that might be someone's dialogue someday.

(01:52:26):
There you go.
Sneaking into the bank as repairman and then into the trap elevator that gets flooded and then they like swim out and see the thing is the thought that went into this.
Jack Burton says it's saltwater and then they go in and they actually explain the engineering over how the water comes in from the sea where it goes all this like there was a lot of thought that was put into this.

(01:52:54):
And I did appreciate that.
Then they get. Yeah, they get captured and they get taken in and then old Jack Burton getting beat up by a ball.
That's the thing, man. The biggest, toughest guy in here. He gets beat up by a little red ball.
He has so many sidekick moments in this movie and it is phenomenal.

(01:53:18):
Yeah.
But man, meeting smart ass old low pan was a high point for the movie that would that was that was for me as a kid.
That was my introduction to Hong Hong Hong James Hong.
James Hong. Thank you. That was my introduction as a kid to James Hong.

(01:53:41):
That was the first thing I ever saw him in.
I never forgot him like like that was that was the premier character for him.
And that's who he was forever and ever.
Anytime he showed up in any other movie, I'm like, ah, it's the guy from Big Trouble in Little China.
Like every time for decades afterwards, just walked on and crushed it.

(01:54:05):
Yeah, I mean, loved it.
And then under the scene, we get all of that exposition about lifting the curse, surviving the sacred blade, taming the savage heart, like all of this stuff.
And the grand, the great way he mixed to and this is this is a type of humor that I personally cannot get enough of myself.
And James Hong really, really nailed it in this is the mixing of archaic and modern speaking the way he will.

(01:54:33):
The way he would say things like, you know, and we should and you know, we you know, and I shall be rid of this this blasted curse after this and that, you know, after a thousand years.
And then and then he sees on the on the you know, the video he sees the people, you know, their friends shown up and he goes like, this is the kind of shit I can't stand.
Oh, yeah. Where is like pissing me off to no end. Right. Exactly. Yes.

(01:54:57):
Like that, like shit like that, like those were like the you know, and you get you get a smattering of those over time when you get like the ancient warriors, ancient immortal warriors in modern day.
And they'll and they'll say, you know, I think there were a couple.
The shadow was not the greatest movie, but some of the best lines in that movie were those moments when he's like, I will bathe the world in blood.

(01:55:22):
By the way, where did you get that tie? Like moments like that of that that mixture of the the the classical way of speaking with modern day parlance.
I'm like, I'll have to tell you that's never not funny. Yeah, there's a character I created like seven years ago and I still have like a monologue that I wrote for him.
And I'll tell you about him later. Just. Okay.

(01:55:46):
I'm going to tell him the history of Lopin. Honestly, it doesn't matter the history of these characters, the story that they got. None of it matters.
The movie is just too much fun.
Getting knocked into the wheelchair of death and then almost going down the well, even as a kid, I was like, breaks.

(01:56:10):
Jump to the side out of the chair like, no, you're not over. You're not strapped into the chair anymore. Just get out.
Yeah, no, like that was that was kind of a moment. But then they got to put in this like superhero moment of him, like from sheer strength, stopping himself from falling backwards and then and then go and then and then and then even once he does through sheer strength, managed to write himself and move the chair forward.

(01:56:39):
To get out of danger. He quickly stands up to get out of the chair safely and the chair immediately flies backwards and go down the well.
You got to have it. You got to have it.
One of the kind of scene that is like, it seems really easy to write.

(01:57:02):
But it's it actually like deciding when to use it is tough. They come up with all of those guns and Kurt Russell's like, hey, can we trade?
And then they all just start trading the guns. So you got the pistol, the shotgun and the Uzi. Yeah.
Or some I think it was an Uzi. It was just some sort of semi automatic. Yeah. Yeah, some sort of. Yeah, it was a no, it was a full it was a full auto.

(01:57:27):
OK, I just can't remember what that kind of gun is called. It's not an Uzi, but it's a whatever.
Doesn't matter. But yeah, they go through and basically badass guy or least badass guy gets the most badass gun and it just follows that pattern down and outstanding.

(01:57:49):
Lopan transforms and then full on perving on Miao Ying. Yeah. Like he's like, I would be able to touch you.
And then like he puts his hand over where her boob like where he like her boob is. He's like, yeah, he's trying to grab him.
Yeah, he's trying to grope her, but his hands are passing through her. And yeah, it's like this movie does not hide who David Lopin is. No, not at all.

(01:58:13):
He he a bad guy. This is the first sidekick moment when like they go to fight the guys and he doesn't know how to take the safety off of the gun.
And then you get Wang just kicking all the ass. Yep. Yep. Yeah.
And then he comes out. He's like. Oh, everybody's on the ground because he's the sidekick. Exactly. Yes.

(01:58:37):
And then Wang and Eddie fighting as old Jack Burton springs the prisoners. That is a scene that I actually really every time I see the movie, it always catches me off guard.
How much I'm impressed by that scene when they're going over the bridge and Kurt Russell is going along the side of the bridge on that.

(01:59:01):
How easily he is doing that. And he is doing that. Like I have like I've always been like expressed because they always like in movies, they always do something that it's like, oh, come on.
If they just look over there, they're obviously going to see it. This one they didn't. He was actually hidden. They actually did it. And I thought that was a good job. Yeah. Yep.

(01:59:23):
The escape through the water is still one of the funniest. It's one of the funniest. It's not exactly a movie mess up.
It's just that knife is so wildly fake looking. That is the most that is the most fake looking knife in all of Hollywood history. Yeah.
It's rough, but I do like when Gracie Law is out of there and every time like she picks somebody up, she's asking about the person behind them and it stays in that flow.

(01:59:54):
That was like it was like it was like it was like this close to being a Laurel and Hardy routine.
Like, but it but it was perfectly executed. Yes. Yes. I.
So good. And then all right. This is the final stretch. Pretty normal office buildings. And then he opens the door. Whole army of dudes. Yes. Classic comedy right there.

(02:00:19):
The fact that I didn't even see the fact that I didn't even see it coming that it was just boom boom. He's just he's like at the door.
He's like, all right, everybody ready? We're going to do this. We're going to do that. I'm going to open the door. We're going to charge through with this.
And then he opens the door and they're all right there. And then he shuts the door and he's like, we might be like.
Classic and well delivered. And yeah, the fact that I did not see it come and just goes to show how well executed it was for its lead up.

(02:00:45):
And yes, yeah, very good job. But then they immediately step on it when they're already hacking through the wall.
And he's screaming right next to an army of dudes. They only saw me. It's like, but they can still hear you.
But again, that's the comedy. I just love it. But then the sidekick sidekick moment, number two, Wang goes badass and Jack's knife gets stuck and then flung off to the side.

(02:01:12):
Mm hmm. Yeah. And in the time it takes him to the good actors, Kurt Russell's reactions to being punked this whole movie never failed to get a laugh.
That's true. Yes. But yes. And in the time it takes him to run across the room to recover his knife and then run back to the fight, his buddy has already taken everyone out in spectacular fashion as well.

(02:01:38):
Yeah, like Dennis Dunn. Good job as a stunt man. Everything like that. He was the of all the martial arts that we saw in this. His were just flat out believable the whole way through.
Yep. Like because there's a thing when you have like in martial arts movies like that, you have them like swinging the sword and everything like that and their walk for 15 miles until they get up to the bad guy that they were going up against or whatever. And they're still swinging swords the whole time.

(02:02:08):
When Dennis Dunn did it in this movie, weirdly, it didn't look dumb. Like he actually looked like he was doing like protecting himself going into it. He didn't look like he was putting on a show. Right. Yeah. That is like I give a lot of praise to that.
This was a lot of really good quality like, you know, this was a movie made for stunt people in, you know, in.

(02:02:35):
I'll agree. Yeah. Like stunt people with a sense of humor. Yep, for sure. John Wick with haha.
Oh, then the red eyes in the statue and Gracie gets taken in the dumbest way possible. A wall opens up in a fortress that you're escaping and she just stops and looks.
Yeah.

(02:02:57):
I mean, come on.
And a classic John Carpenter monster just grabs her. Oh, that is that is as classic John Carpenter as it gets. Yep. Yep. With no explanation as to who, what, how, nothing.
There's just a thing doesn't even get a name. Yeah, no, no, no one even goes like, by the way, Bob brought the chicken like we get no explanation about this.

(02:03:22):
He's the only one who survives. None of the other characters even talk to him or look at him.
No, he's just he's just Gracie.
That's how we get it. Yeah.
And then another fiery girl with green eyes shows up and she's just yelling at low pan and he's doing this old creepy man like old creepy Gucci Gucci thing with her.

(02:03:45):
Right. Yeah. How creepy that was is what made James Hong. Whoa. Stand out in my mind how he committed to that character.
He really did. Yeah. And he absolutely nailed it.
Then egg shows up with an army of his own and a gun so Jack can feel like dirty Harry.

(02:04:07):
The gun was huge, too. He's like, well, he was hanging it to him like it's a fucking pacifier for a baby.
It was awesome. It was all I'm sorry, man. But everything like eggshen everything that came out of his mouth was absolute dynamite.
Yeah, Gracie meeting me.
Wow. How many different ways did I spell this woman's name now?

(02:04:28):
Yin and magic low pan that and I liked I liked the juxtaposition from low low pans or James Hong's deliveries as young low pan versus old low pan.
Yes. Yeah. I loved how he made that character decision.
That was really, really good. At least I thought.

(02:04:49):
And just loving. Okay.
Jack's doubt and bravado eggs cockiness and Wang's optimism is this movie that and just Gracie.
What would you want to call it? Beligerance?
What would you what would how would you in one word how would you describe Kim controls character?

(02:05:16):
Kim controls character was like, you know, you know, those those fireworks you get on Fourth of July.
One word, the flowers, the flower fireworks where you just light them and they go with zips and they're bright and colorful and they just bounce around everywhere.
That's what Kim control was. She was a flower firework.

(02:05:37):
In a good way, I'm certain somebody will understand what you meant by that.
I got no fucking idea, but I'm moving on.
Okay. The sewers underneath Chinatown built a little bit different and yeah, otherworldly apparent.
Apparently, they're they're going through the magical passage into the.

(02:06:02):
Yeah, that another line that I like. What what's that black blood of the earth? You mean oil? I mean black blood of the earth. Right.
Yeah, like the deliveries, the lines like mmm mmm mmm. They gave it like they yeah, they just turned their judgment off.

(02:06:24):
They're like, I'm not judging this. I'm committing. Okay, that's that's where I'm going to that's where I'm going to take that.
This is always like the part in martial arts movies or fantasy movies that I always find to be the absolute dumbest.
The three storms doing their start ceremony and bolts that ceremony.

(02:06:48):
Right. Yeah. The swinging the swords around for no apparent reason kind of thing. Yeah, seriously.
Honestly, if we're going to be doing this, honestly, just tell me that it's happening and then let me go watch some other story happening.
That is always a waste of time in a movie, a TV show. You are just literally cutting into your runtime. Yep.
That is, but which which they somehow excuse by by we find out after we sit here and watch 10 minutes of them flailing about for no reason.

(02:07:20):
Then we go, oh, this was the ceremony where he finds out if they survive the flaming dagger and you know, and tame the heart and it's like and it consisted of them.
This grand ceremony to decide which of them would be worthy sacrifice.
It consisted entirely of them standing there like zombies while the storms did their sword dance.

(02:07:44):
And then they touch a ball and neither of them dies and you know what I'm going to actually I'm going to bring up a movie we're going to be covering pretty soon.
Mortal Kombat did it better. Best. Yes.
There was the dinner with Goro and all of this stuff that was happening.
And yeah, like there was that one time where you had that like mega ripped guy that I'm going to say when I was a kid, I was hoping I was going to grow up to look like.

(02:08:11):
He was doing his whole thing the whole time subzero is like gearing up.
He's doing like story is happening while that bullshit is happening.
Right. That's and also and also that bullshit lasted like a minute 30 tops.
That was part of it as opposed to but then also like what felt like an eternity in this one after that where the Kano and Goro were talking and Liu Kang, Johnny Cage and Sonya Blade are all off in the back.

(02:08:40):
And there's still story happening while this happening.
If you're going to include that crap into your show, right.
Let other things happen at the same time or make the thing we're watching so beautiful.
Right. Don't mind watching it.
That's like if you're going to pay for a stunt choreographer, then get a Kata choreographer too.

(02:09:03):
So we're not just walking and watching a guy swing blindly for five minutes for no reason.
Right. That is a very personal nitpicky thing. All that.
But I'm right there with you on that one. Yeah.
Now both both women survived the Burning Blade. They tamed the Savage Heart and then I want to marry both women.
Yeah. Like greedy shit.

(02:09:26):
Yep. But and actually turns out that that actually kind of makes sense to the story even because one of them was supposed to be sacrificed.
So he decided that he was going to actually have one as a bride. Right.
Yes. It made it make sense to the story. No. Yep. So I did appreciate it. So it works.
Yes. Sacrifice one and satisfy my carnal desires with the other. Exactly. Yep.

(02:09:52):
Use that voice somewhere. I don't know why of all the lines in that movie.
That's the one I can rattle off verbatim. Jesus Christ.
Where am I at here? OK. So the others are in the sewer and we come across that random ass Beetlejuice monster.
Just another thing that John Carpenter probably had in his garage.

(02:10:13):
That was the fucking beholder from D&D. I knew that then as a kid. I stand by it now. That's what that was.
I don't know what that means.
If you look up D&D monsters, there's one called the Beholder.
You don't have anything to look up on. Aren't you sitting in front of a computer?

(02:10:34):
I am. But the microphone is also right next to the keyboard with my current setup.
And that would just be clacking right into the microphone. I don't feel like being a dick.
But I will check that out later, though. OK.
Another phenomenal delivery from Egg Shen in this. Now for some more bad news.

(02:10:56):
Ready? I can't not laugh.
Even if I tried not to laugh on that, it would break me. Yeah.
Like I said, gives no fucks. That was the saving grace. This movie. Nobody gave any fucks.
The good thoughts. So run. What do we do?
And then eggs like good thoughts. So what's in the bottle? Drink thoughts. Good thoughts.

(02:11:21):
Do we drink it? Yep. Good thoughts. And he just kept saying that.
And that was where I was saying, like, the exposition was delivered in a comical way, which is just dynamite.
This movie has so many examples on how to deliver exposition in a non-assuming way.
And I got a lot. What if that scene happened because the because the guy who played egg

(02:11:43):
couldn't remember his lines for that scene. And so Kurt Russell was just like, fuck it.
That that top tier, top tier improv. Yeah.
Top tier. I mean, we know Kurt Russell can bring it. He was one of the directors of Tombstone.
Right. Yeah. No, the main. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it.
Like that would almost make it better for me. Like it was already a good scene.

(02:12:04):
If that was where it came from, I'd be like, awesome. That's make.
Imagining that a little bit does kind of up it a bit in my mind, too. I'm not going to lie.
That just that's thinking of that thinking of that being an outtake that made it into the movie.
Yeah. Yeah. That would be like because I because I find that I find that a much easier reality to accept

(02:12:26):
than that someone actually wrote it. That's the thing. As a writer, I'm like, I do not.
I can't imagine me allowing myself to get away with that as a writer.
I know there's as much as all the things I've been writing recently.
I don't think I could have stumbled my way into something like that. Right. Yeah.
Honestly, I mean, being real.

(02:12:50):
The exchange with Lopan and the floaty eye guy.
I'm sorry. Like I like another example of this is not Jack Burton's movie.
They're having a serious conversation about ancient history and all this stuff.
And then Jack shoots the thing goes, you never know unless you try.
Yeah, they look at him like, why are you shooting the ancient monster?

(02:13:12):
And he's like, you never know. Yeah. Which that is very but that is very that's a that's a Jack O'Neill thing is what that was.
So it's like fast forward 20, you know, 10 years Kurt Russell's playing Jack O'Neill in Stargate.
And then we have Harry Dean Anderson playing Jack O'Neill in the TV show.
And he has that exact same attitude. His first approach to everything is shoot it and see if it works.

(02:13:35):
Then Russell, you think? OK, I do. I do. Russell didn't have a sense of humor in that movie.
That's true. Yes. Yeah. He gained a sense of humor in the TV show. That's true.
But yeah, that's it. You want Jack O'Neill is very much shoot first.
And if that doesn't work, then ask questions. There you go. There you go.
Then we get to the neon lit wedding, which, man, even as a kid, I thought the fact that they used neon around that thing was one of the cheesiest, cheekiest, campiest, dumbest.

(02:14:06):
Yeah. Right. Yeah. And like I said before, that was literally like, let's build the set out of whatever we have laying around.
And to their credit, it worked. It kind of worked. It did look pretty dope, but it was clearly, clearly thrown together.
The goal in mind was to be campy. Right. OK. I'm sure of it.

(02:14:29):
It like there's no way they did too good of a job. It was too specifically campy to not be deliberate.
I mean, just think about this one scene right here. The elevator ride of optimism.
They're all heading down to this epic battle. They're like, I'm feeling really good.
They just drank the magic potion and now they're on their way down and they're like, I'm feeling pretty good. Yeah.

(02:14:52):
And the best part is that how like we're getting the sign that this isn't just like a magic potion that gives them powers.
It's a magic potion that's kind of getting them high too, because they're getting really optimistic. They're getting really chummy.
It kind of looks like an elevator ride of Molly. Yeah. Right.
And you see them like slap, you know, patting each other on the back and then the hand stays there and becomes a little bit of a shoulder massage a little bit, you know.

(02:15:17):
And then Jack Burton even kind of realizing he goes in his last line before the elevator doors open are getting kind of hot in here.
Then they arrive and they just watch him get married because egg tells them he needs to be has to finish so he can be mortal.
And I'm like, right. Yeah. And then that little little eye monster that was sitting there survived a couple of bullet shots, but then gets iced by a sword to the brain.

(02:15:45):
Right. Exactly. Yeah. Okay. If he was going to die from a sword, he could have died from a bullet. Yeah.
But, you know, that's that's classic John Carpenter. So true. Sidekick moment number three for old Jack Burton.
Oh, yeah. Probably the single most classic one in all of movie history. Let's be honest.
You're knocking yourself out with debris at the start of the fight from.

(02:16:08):
Ha ha ha ha. Yeah, no issue. Yeah. Shooting. We ha shooting in the air and the roof debris knocks you cold.
That has been and I will give you that one. That bit has been recreated ad nauseum for the last 40 years for good reason.
It works. It works and it's funny.
But then. OK. So the big battle of just unnecessary moves. That is what I in different words. That is what I have always called that fight.

(02:16:38):
This. Yeah. This scene was preemptively making fun of crouching tiger, hidden dragon. Oh, I thought you were going to say Mortal Kombat because there's that scene where Lopan like has his like finger like his.
He's got his pinkies and like they're literally playing Mortal Kombat in the sky and low.

(02:16:59):
I was like, Nails. I wasn't even thinking. No, I was thinking about the sword fight between.
Oh, we are made in in lightning. Yeah. Where they're constantly like they're constantly leaping in the air and like crossing swords in the air and then landing on opposite sides of the room and just keep doing that over and over again.
That's straight up classic Hong Kong cinema. And yeah, definitely.

(02:17:24):
Definitely. But they just they turned it to 11 stuff. OK.
But yeah, I mean, when we talk about this is the inspiration for Mortal Kombat, they're literally playing more of this movie. They're playing Mortal Kombat.
Spirit Mortal Kombat before.
Before Mortal Kombat's even invented. Yes, 100% and Lopan. I'm sorry. This thing.

(02:17:48):
I'm sorry. That is that was so dumb. So over the top, stupid and funny.
And the fact that James Hong committed so far into that man. So many wins in that. So dumb. So campy. So stupid. So fun.
Yeah, that's why you commit all the way to the bit because that's how it can. That's how it can turn out. Yep. Then sidekick moment number four.

(02:18:18):
Old Jack Burton gets trapped under the armored guard.
I remember I remember that from when I first saw it as a kid, that whole bit with the boot knife and then getting stuck there holding the body up. I remember even as a kid sitting there going, come on, man, get your shit together.

(02:18:41):
But that is classic sidekick shit. Yeah, yeah. And what does that and getting.
Oh, man. Oh, and then OK, so Wang takes out rain and then sprints after Lopan.
And then, oh my God, why was there an escalator on that pulpit? Just why? Just why? And the because I'll tell is why not?

(02:19:06):
Right. Yeah. Well, and the why not was because of the the scene before that at the beginning when when rain is escorting the brides in to be married.
They wanted them floating down the stairway to it, so they needed an escalator for that effect.
Amazing. You have to like, I mean, you can just imagine that Lopan goofy ass rich bank owner, everything like that.

(02:19:32):
Like, oh, I wish they could float towards me.
They have escalators now like I want to practice.
And that's I need to use it somewhere. And that's the end. That's right up there with like the whole decorating scheme.
Like we want that entrance to be the mouth of the demon.
And then we got the big demon here. And you know what? Let's get some neon. Let's really make it look sort of make it pop.

(02:19:58):
I know what you're going for, but you sound like Edna mold from The Incredibles.
Let's get some neon in here, darling. Really make it pop.
I don't see that coming at all, man. But you started and all I was thinking was no capes.
But then OK, so Jack and Gracie and the elevator. And I love this line from Jack Burton.

(02:20:23):
I can see things no one else can see. Yeah.
Like that. Every line, every single thing that he says in this is too fucking funny.
Then just like, oh, my God, the amount of lipstick that they put on Kurt Russell for him to come out of that elevator.

(02:20:44):
That was that tough guy speech again. Why not?
You know what old Jack Burton says? Who's Jack Burton?
Me. Amazing.
OK, you know what is actually what no one makes this even more amazing?

(02:21:06):
Star Lord. He played his dad and that was one of the first lines that Star Lord got in Guardians of the Galaxy.
Oh, OK. My right. My brain just connected that.
That makes sense. Yeah, that's pretty good. That is man. That is such a deep cut.

(02:21:27):
I didn't even I just I just now caught that and I am a huge fan of movies and like the like the references they make.
So like somewhere. So somewhere James Gunn is telling telling Chris you like have you seen Big Trouble?
Your character Star Lord, your Jack Burton, that's who you are.
And then when they get the call for the second movie, he's like, OK, who's going to play his dad?

(02:21:50):
Clearly the original Jack Burton, obviously, you know, so dude, I that was I can't believe it.
It took me that long to realize that because that when you when you really put it together and think about it, yes, that's absolutely star like Chris.
James Gunn clearly told told him Star Lord is Jack Burton.
That's who you are, because when you take a look at the entire performance, that is obviously what he's doing the whole damn time.

(02:22:16):
Yeah, he is. I mean, Chris, Chris Rat.
Yeah, man, the second that that dude show like showcase that Chris Pratt sounds like you're just talking about a mouse that survived a house fire.
It sounds like Chris Rat.
You cannot say it without ever since he pointed that out, my brain cannot do that every time.

(02:22:39):
Every time I say Chris Pratt, I think I'm saying Chris Rat.
It is like he broke my brain on that one. But Star Lord is 100 percent Jack Burton.
Yeah. Yep. Oh, man, I cannot believe I never realized that.
I love the the dump. OK, so I want to say I love it.

(02:23:01):
They didn't do it well enough for me to love it, but I did like it.
The knife throw and then the catchback. Right. Yeah.
I didn't like it because it did look like somebody kind of tossed it to him.
It didn't look like he actually caught a throw knife. You know what I mean? Right.
But other than that, I like that he got the kill.
And that's the one heroic thing that he got out of the whole movie after all that is he got to be the one to take out the main bad guy.

(02:23:26):
Yeah. And then and then again, like watching Wang fight thunder just through that doorway.
That was some Scooby Doo shit right there is what that was.
It was. You couldn't do that in a different movie.
You know, that's true. That is very true. Yes.
And it delivered well and it was all pretty good. Yes.
And every like every new it every new frame was another was another laugh.

(02:23:49):
It didn't it didn't go overboard. You didn't go like, oh, man.
No, but it was like, yeah, it was like straight out of a Scooby Doo cartoon, but really, really well done.
Yeah, it was. OK. And then thunder, you know, blows himself up.
Lightning goes out like the ultimate punk that that I just felt bad for him in that one.

(02:24:12):
And a line that weirdly I don't know why this has always stuck out in my brain, but you know that, well, there's my truck, my truck.
Same thing. Yeah, no, that was like when I when I when I think before seeing the movie again today,
whenever I thought back to that movie of the last time I saw it, when I was like, I don't know, 10, 11 years old,
that was like always one of the first things come through is that that delivery of his like, there's my truck.

(02:24:36):
It's my truck. Like that realization.
That's a that's a moment that really stands out in that movie for no reason.
I can't under I don't know why. Yeah.
Whatever reason, I could not tell you. Yeah. Just does. But it's a big moment. Yes. Oh, yeah.
All right. And then then Gracie law screaming red light like the battle's over,

(02:24:59):
but like they're all still hyped up. And that was just an extra like additional laugh that we didn't need to happen.
And that whole bit. Yeah. That whole bit is like, yeah, they're running away.
They're all like panicky run and then she screams red light. They stop.
And once the truck is stopped, they don't even go like, man, that was crazy.
We just like fought some wizards. No, they just turn and look.

(02:25:22):
And the two people are making out and she's like, oh, doesn't that just warm your heart?
Yeah. And he's like, and then and then OK, the lights green now.
Like that's the whole scene. That's literally the whole scene.
But here's the thing about like so the end of this movie where, you know, Jack gets his money, all that talks to Gracie.

(02:25:43):
I'm rich now. I leave the road and settle down.
It's like, dude, you have three thousand dollars.
Let's let's chill it out here on the rich. But it is.
But it is the 80s. That is kind of a lot of money in the 80s.
But when Margo, like when Burton is leaving and she's like, oh, God, you're not even going to kiss her.

(02:26:07):
And he turns around like, no, I'm sorry.
That was a great way to end that. That was pretty funny.
Yeah, it was very, very, very counterculture way to end.
Yes. Yeah. Like expectations of version, I think is what they call that.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Perfectly landed that the movie ends with Jack Burton back on the road just as we talk doing his his CB podcast.

(02:26:32):
Just as we saw him in the beginning and we panned to the back of the truck and the the the the John Carpenter monster starts crawling out of the back of the truck.
Basically saying, you know, Jack Burton will return in Big Trouble in Little China 2, which we didn't ever get.
But that was what that was. That was the that was the big cliffhanger ending that this wasn't over.

(02:26:54):
And yeah, and I suppose it's kind of one of those things where I suppose they're waiting for a short film to come out where Jack Burton and that monster become trucking buddies.
That's what I'm waiting for.
Like a Smokey and the Bandit type thing.
Hell, yeah. Whoa, hey, hey, don't worry about that truck. I just saw a monster.

(02:27:18):
Yeah, don't mind him.
I would watch that. All right. Final thoughts on Big Trouble in Little China.
Final thoughts. You know what? I'm going to have to admit you kind of brought me around on this one.
I'm starting to say it might be I'm starting to think it might be a must see because yeah, there is it has had a little too much of a of a cultural impact.

(02:27:41):
But I still stand by what I said before about how if Matinee took place 30 years later, the movie they'd be seeing is Big Trouble in Little China.
But that's I stand by that as a good thing because there are that it would be a movie like that is part of that whole experience, that culture.

(02:28:03):
I mean, as much as you and I can sit here and talk about how much of our childhood was watching this movie on cable and what that meant to us.
Can you imagine being someone who saw this movie in the theater? How completely bonkers that would have been.
That would be the theater experience like that. Like, you see, that's the thing.
This is the kind of movie I wish I could have seen in the theaters because the amount of fun that people had in the movie theater while watching it had to be amazing.

(02:28:31):
Exactly. Yeah. So yeah, we miss that's the one element of this that we missed out on was how like as fun as the movie already was for us as kids.
It was muted by the fact that we were watching it alone at home.
It would have been 10 times more if we saw it in the theaters.
And that's kind of the that's kind of the message that a movie like Matinee is trying to put forward is how different that experience is.

(02:28:58):
And so I will I will grant you that. Yes, culturally speaking, big trouble is important and everyone should see it.
But I think I still stand by like where its place in history is and why it's important.
It is, in fact, the greatest example of the cave of the cave drawing.

(02:29:25):
All right. So this one is going to kick up for our movie fight.
Matinee versus Big Trouble in Little China movie fight season two, episode one.
First off, who did we hear the most? I'm still not entirely recovered from our last movie fight.
Well, that's why we're doing it this way, because that was just the preliminary round.

(02:29:50):
Yeah, was twenty three fights. Yeah, no, that's that's why we're doing it like this.
So between Matinee and Big Trouble in Little China, who do we care about more?
I feel like that obviously goes to Matinee. Yep, I agree.
One hundred percent. And that was intentional. I'm pretty sure.
I mean, it's kind of hard to turn it like we were like it was a like it was about human trafficking and everything like that.

(02:30:16):
And yeah, there are the people who are going to get wrapped up in that story.
But we weren't given that what characters as much as we were. That's the comedy. Exactly.
Yeah, I don't. I it's kind of tough to discount them for it because they had plenty of reason to kind of shave some of that
overarching empathy off, you know, to kind of make the movie less heavy for everything that's in it.

(02:30:41):
They didn't need to put that much drama into it. And so it's so it's like, yeah, for you know, yeah, definitely.
We've got, you know, the kid with the family with the dad that's been sent to the front lines in Cuba like a like that's an unfair fight right there is what that is.
So, yeah, yeah, yeah. Round one definitely goes to Matinee.

(02:31:03):
Round two, who accomplished what they set out to do better? That's got to be Big Trouble in Little China.
I don't know. I don't know. Because here's the thing.
I still I still stand by the fact that the main the the the saving grace of Big Trouble is the fact that they gave no fucks.

(02:31:25):
I don't know what they set out to do.
I think Carpenter wanted to make a kung fu movie and he just threw all the ingredients into the pot and stirred and it worked out.
I mean, you can say that he got lucky with it. But I mean, John Carpenter, he's got he has landed enough times that I don't think it was an accident.

(02:31:53):
I think that's what he set out to do. And I think he did it very, very well.
I mean, like Matt, like Matt and I think without John Goodman, Matt and they wouldn't have worked as well.
And I certainly think that Big Trouble in Little China would have worked as well without Kurt Russell.
Right. Yeah, it's kind of hard to imagine how it would have worked without them.

(02:32:17):
That's for sure, because they're so perfect. But I mean, I think to a certain degree it but it's still good.
I didn't really care about any of the characters in Matinee.
I cared about the situation. I was connected to it. There was a historical aspect.
But all those kids kind of sucked. And like that was the thing. I'm not a kid.
Like those like their problems, everything like that. I didn't care.

(02:32:40):
I cared about the situation. There was that moment with the mom that, you know, it did.
It tugged at my heartstrings a little bit. But the actual characters in the movie, they got me some chuckles.
But I didn't actually I didn't actually care about them.
Like and I think it's because I knew how the Cuban missile missile crisis worked, worked out.

(02:33:02):
Then I knew there were no actual real stakes in the movie.
There actually felt like there were stakes in Big Trouble in Little China.
Like I was I got jacked. I cared about Wang. OK, yeah.
I didn't because I never really felt like Kurt Russell was ever in any real trouble.

(02:33:24):
That's true. Yeah. But I did no matter how. But I did care about him. Yeah.
I was I was invested in the story.
I was invested more in what was going to happen to the characters in Big Trouble in Little China than I was in Matinee.
I think. Because I got introduced to Harvey too fast.

(02:33:48):
And he wasn't actually dangerous. That's true. Yeah.
But I mean, that's the thing. He kind of was all over the place.
He comes off as intimidating, then turns into a teddy bear and then becomes dangerous all of a sudden out of nowhere.
And then turns out to not actually be that dangerous because he's just incompetent at it.
See, Harvey, it seemed like they couldn't decide which direction they wanted to go with him.

(02:34:13):
That's true. They kind of just gave him everything. Yeah. He was funny.
He was dumb. He was sensitive. He was smart. He was artistic.
He was capable at running everything without with very, very little instruction.
And then he until he gets until he gets slightly distracted by a girl and then it all goes haywire.
Yeah. Super dumb yet hyper capable. Like, yeah. Feeling a little cold out here, pal.

(02:34:44):
But that's why I think for what they set out to do because Big Trouble and also the level of ambition that went with it.
In order to pull off Big Trouble and Little China, it had to kind of be perfect.
You kind of had to do everything right. Matinee, kind of a standard movie.

(02:35:07):
I suppose. You could have dropped a lot of balls along the way and you wouldn't even have noticed because you had John Goodman and Cathy Moriarty.
OK. OK. I guess I could kind of see that.
And I guess it does kind of fall back on the whole like while they both technically pulled off what they were trying to do,
Big Trouble gets the win because they took away more risks in what they were trying to do.

(02:35:32):
There was a whole lot more going on. Yeah.
And I've used that and I've used that argument before in others to say, like, well, I can't say anybody did anything wrong.
That means the one that did more gets it. So.
Big Trouble, Little China gets round two.
The final round, which one would we actually classify as more of a must see?

(02:35:56):
We talked about it during the episode. Yeah, that's Big Trouble and Little China.
It has it has it is the birthplace of a global phenomena.
Mortal Kombat started with Big Trouble and Little China.
Yeah, but that's a tough one, though, because the main reason, you know, that I would say that that that matinees and must see is because it's an homage to the culture that allows something like Big Trouble to become the phenomenon that it became.

(02:36:32):
I don't know if I agree and set aside from that, this isn't the best example of a movie like Matinee.
No, it's true. And you're not wrong that there are other better examples of the of the love of movies genre of movies.
I think Super 8 is a fantastic example of love of filmmaking.

(02:36:56):
That was a good one. Yeah. That was Spielberg's, right? Yeah.
I can't I also can't remember. Kind of a kind of hitting myself on being a movie channel for not knowing who did that. I brought it up.
Well, yeah. I mean, and like, well, I'm like I said, you know, Kevin Smith's got his out just this month. I haven't seen it yet. I want to, you know.

(02:37:17):
Oh, you haven't even seen that yet. No, I hadn't seen that one yet either, but I am looking forward to it. Yeah. The four movie looks good, too.
I mean, that's why like who did the Big Trouble in Little China genre like this in the style? Who did it better?
I think they're the best. Yeah, yeah, probably.

(02:37:38):
I mean, I mean, dude, we're talking about a movie that has spawned so many, so many people trying to emulate it.
They can't do it. Yeah. There's a reason why this one is.
Okay. Yeah, I guess I have to concede that one. I don't I don't like it. I don't, you know.

(02:37:59):
Yeah.
Feels good to win.
I'll have to take your word for it.
Here I am trying to broaden the world's cultural aspects and you're just like, no, I got a cult classic here, motherfucker.

(02:38:22):
We spent almost an hour and a half talking about the movie. That's almost longer than the movie is.
I think we showed it the respect you wanted to show it.
All right. So let's set up for next week. What do you got for me for next week's episode?
Let me think here. What do I I have expanded while we were on break, I expanded my list quite a bit here.

(02:38:45):
Good. I know you were running low. Yeah.
Can't do that when we just did Joe Dante. So I can't give you that one.
I already have another Joe Dante movie on the list. What is it? Is it Gremlins?
No, no, I don't think I don't think the world needs to talk about Gremlins anymore. That that's covered.

(02:39:06):
I would say so. Yeah, but it would be a fun episode to cover one and two.
Yeah, probably. We were talking about doing some Halloween episodes.
That's true. That's true.
OK, let me see here. What do I I'm having trouble deciding.
Why don't you tell me what you have in mind and I'll counter it.
Finder's Fee.

(02:39:28):
Finder's Fee. Matthew Lillard and James Earl Jones.
OK, it's that one I was telling you about the poker game where they bet their lottery tickets.
Oh, OK.
This is one of the like I'm coming in on this one with a lesser known that like I'm doing your role on this one pretty much.

(02:39:49):
OK, well, I don't think I've got any like mainstream counters for that for that then.
Oh, OK. Oh, I know. I know. Owning Mahoney. Sounds good.
What's about it is it is based on a true story about a gambling addict who embezzled money to gamble with from the bank he worked for and collapsed the bank.

(02:40:18):
Sounds good. Let's do as as the as the titular county character Mahoney. It's Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Oh, OK.
Yeah, let's let's go. All right. All right. Season two, episode one.
Guys, we are back. We'll be back next Thursday, 7 p.m. Mountain Time. Until then.

(02:40:44):
Have a good one. Adios.

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