H.Y.S.T? | S2E7 | The World According to Garp & Legend of Drunken Master - H.Y.S.T?

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Heist, I'm Bradly Hackworth, joined by Jonathan Ems, otherwise known as Doc.

(00:07):
Greetings, fellow humans.
And this week we are going to be covering two incredible legends of physical comedy.
Robin Williams is a legend of comedy.
And Jackie Chan?
He's martial arts Charlie Chaplin.
I mean, just, my god.

(00:27):
He is, there's nobody, there's nobody better.
At least not yet.
And I don't know how, like, I don't know if there ever will be.
I think Jackie Chan is kind of, he is the master at his craft.
So, first one that we're going to be covering this week is going to be The World According
to Garp.
And-
Oh, you want to start with that?

(00:48):
Oh, that makes sense.
Yes.
Yeah?
Oh my god.
I don't like that.
The amount of movie in that movie.
Oh my god.
If this winds up being just the Garp episode, that might wind up happening because of how
full this episode is.
But I'm going to aim for it.
In the last five minutes we go, and legend drunken master that's fighting is cool, it

(01:12):
was good.
The end.
Incredible.
Some director drama, you know, you know, get into another time.
Sure.
Covering and researching and looking up everything for the legend of drunken master, by the way,
very very challenging.
I imagine so, considering this was a Hong Kong movie of the 80s.

(01:35):
I imagine there's probably very few records about it.
Well not that, no no, so the first one was late 70s, 80s, but that one was 94.
Really?
Yeah.
Jackie Chan was like 20 years older than that character should have been, but whatever,
it's Jackie Chan.

(01:55):
I mean that happens.
What made that one tough?
We'll get into that one when we get to that one.
The World According to Garp, directed by George Roy Hill, written by Steve Tesich, based on
the novel by John Irving, starring Robin Williams, Mary Beth Hurt, Glenn Close, and John Lithgow,

(02:17):
both kind of a host of other talent, but weirdly not a bunch of them.
I mean, we can try to point out a few of them, but weirdly compared to most Robin Williams
movies, this was not as kind of studded with side characters as most are.
Yeah, that's true.

(02:39):
Yeah, this was, I think this may have been, I'm not sure.
I mean Williams definitely was a star at this point, but I don't think he was a superstar
yet, so I think this movie was very much on its own devices and just happened to get a
really good cast.
I can see it on it.
I don't think there was a lot about getting the big names.
I think it was just, hey, this is going to be a good flick.

(03:01):
It's going to be an impactful flick.
Who wants in on it?
And I don't think even Glenn Close was that big of a name yet when this came out.
I don't know.
I honestly, I should have done a little bit of research into that aspect of it because
of how long ago this movie came out.
I have no connections to it.
I don't remember anything about it when it came out.

(03:22):
Like just, it's before me.
Me neither.
I mean, I saw it.
I saw it on cable.
I think it had already been 10 years old by that point.
And I guarantee what you saw on cable was not this full movie.
There's no way.
There is zero chance of that being the case.
Okay, why don't we just get right into this, man?

(03:45):
All right, let's get into it.
Opening on a bouncing baby boy in Dogs Harbor in 1944 and Glenn Close as Jenny.
Literal actual bouncing baby and just was that necessary?
I mean, whatever.
Could you imagine being in the theater, like in the opening of this movie and everybody

(04:07):
just kind of like, ah, ooh, ooh, no, ah, ooh.
You know, that's the thing is I don't know if anybody really probably gave that big of
a shit about it.
I don't know.
Like I said, I was not around back then, but I do know if that was in a movie theater these
days, you would have 90% of the theater in total protest, either acting like they're

(04:30):
in protest because of like, oh God, what if somebody sees me not protesting to what is
happening on screen right now?
Or they would actually be like protesting.
So yeah, I mean, times change, but the weird, weird, crazy, crazy aspect of that is the
fact that you say that nobody would be bothered by that.

(04:51):
Those are all the people like that age range, that demographic is like they're all the save
the children people.
Oh, yeah, I know that is their main one.
But they had no but like them as a generation had so much like child nudity in their films.
It's the weirdest thing to me.
You know where I'm coming.

(05:11):
You see where I'm coming from.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
And you know what?
Overcompensation is a hell of a drug.
What can I say?
Oh, God.
Yeah, I got to give you that.
That does make pretty much all the all the sense.
And we get the story of T.S.
Garp, senior and sort of but not really.

(05:32):
We don't get the real story until later.
We just get no we get the story.
The dad just doesn't hear it totally like it's there.
She says all of it.
The mom faints.
And it's like it's the dad's hearing aid that he can't totally hear it.
Right.
Yeah.
For you Elden Ring fans out there.
Garp's mom is a death maiden.

(05:59):
And that is when I love that there is reference in modern pop culture that can explain that.
Yes.
That's fantastic.
I am going to lose subscribers as soon as I start describing this.
And I hate that you did this to me.
But this is an incredible movie.
So I hate that this movie is doing this to me because I still have to say what it is.

(06:21):
Oh, God.
So a death maiden.
Jesus Christ.
Is somebody who if a man is on his deathbed and everything like that, like through battle
or through war, like whatever.
And he doesn't have a child.
A death maiden goes to act of the service to make sure that that person has a child.

(06:47):
Oh, my God.
I don't have enough.
But what's crazy about it is the fact is that like for her is that her whole standing is
that she wants to have a kid, but she doesn't want to be.
She has no interest in men outside of that.
She doesn't want to get married.
She doesn't want to be in a relationship.

(07:07):
She doesn't even as far as we can tell, she doesn't even particularly like the concept
of sex entirely.
No, like the whole movie.
Like lust is like she is the enemy of lust.
Right.
Yeah, exactly.
But she wants to have a kid.
And so she sees an opportunity to basically get impregnated by an invalid on his deathbed
and she takes it.

(07:29):
And yeah.
And then that's how Garp is born.
He's named T.S. Garp named after his father, but she doesn't know his actual name.
She calls him T.S. because he's technical sergeant Garp.
And that's the only name she knew him by.
So she names her son technical sergeant Garp.
Which but you do.
I do kind of got to give that.

(07:51):
However, that gave me the ultimate ammo for when anybody ever like, oh, you know, like,
do you think there's Chinese people going around there with the word water tattooed
on them?
Not tattooed on them on their birth certificate.
Maybe.
Yep.
Because that was the first time that I learned of anything like that happened.
And I loved it.

(08:12):
When I when I was when I was in China, the number of people that I saw wearing like American
clothes with American words written on them that were either misspelled or.
Just flat out wrong.
Like I'm OK.
I'm not kidding.
I saw a woman with a baby and the baby had on sweatpants that said the words sex baby

(08:37):
written across its butt.
True story.
That.
In English.
OK, you saw that in China?
Yep.
That's kind of funny because I would imagine like, I mean, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, I can't imagine anybody doing that here.
I can imagine like some weird things, everything like that, like, but not that.

(08:58):
That's right.
Yeah, I would.
I would have to give you that.
That would be like ridiculously like the brain would break at seeing that, I have to admit.
So yeah, no, it is it is guilty across the board.
You know, we all we all, you know, do that.
You're right.
Back to this.

(09:19):
On to listening to the kids have a conversation that we have all had.
Man, if I was a girl, I just take off all my clothes and stare at myself in the mirror.
It's like, oh, God, I'm pretty sure I said that exact sentence when I was a teenager.
I've same.
Yep.
I had to know it.
That's how you make friends as a boy in school is that you basically all go like, we're all

(09:40):
on board with this plan, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just just an entire conversation of little boys talking about becoming little girls.
Yeah.
Weird.
I cannot believe like that is like that is like a precursor to like trans conversations,
which I wonder if they put that in this movie intentionally because of what winds up happening

(10:04):
with Lithgow.
That's a really good question, actually.
I have no idea.
I wonder.
And I thought it was hilarious.
They chase after the porn mag and all that one kid steals it and then they hide it in
the crib with baby Garp.
Yep.
Yep.
Like that nurse mom knew right away that it was Bosworth.

(10:25):
He knew exactly.
Yeah.
She finds the porn magazine in her baby's crib.
She knows exactly who to blame with no other apparent evidence other than just knowledge
of these kids that she's taken care of.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And and what did she threaten him with?
She said, if you ever expose my baby to this smut again, I will infect your jockstrap with

(10:47):
botulism until it falls off.
Like, Jesus Christ, lady.
This lady knows how to do a threat.
Yeah.
I mean, plain and simple.
My God, this lady knows how to do a threat.
So Garp trying to learn about his dad and then this whole scene.
I know.

(11:08):
I think I was supposed to be on board with his mom, right?
I mean, that's the thing about this movie that I find interesting is that there the
characters other than Lithgow's character, I think there are no clear cut characters.
Everyone's got a good side.
Everyone's got a bad side.
These are this is a very these are complicated people to simply say, like to say that one

(11:32):
person were supposed to be on board with or not would be doing it to disservice because
Garp's mom, weirdly, she's right about some things, but she's kind of wrong in her approach
and everything.
As for thank you, thank you for putting it that way, because like the whole movie, everything
that kept going on, I'm like.

(11:55):
Is she a cult leader that is like, because in my mind, eventually I was like, she is
a cult leader that is acting normal with her son.
Right.
Like, when he's gone, I am very curious what the like what chance this woman is doing and
promising space clouds and stuff like that.
I swear to God, it was like I could not understand this.

(12:16):
But then as she said, she's like, was he a tall man?
I don't know.
I never saw him standing.
One minute, the boy's like five.
Well, but that's interesting.
Like, but that is her character.
That is her character.
And that's kind of like the weird dichotomy, because like, yes, she's you know, she never

(12:36):
like agree or disagree with her.
She never lied to him ever.
And I do love that.
Yeah.
Like, not when he was little, she didn't feed him any bullshit.
Like she literally was like, look, your dad's dead.
Sorry.
You know, she doesn't even really encourage his romanticizing that he was a pilot or anything

(12:58):
like that.
She's like, yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Doesn't let like just doesn't.
Yeah.
She is just a matter of the fact.
Would that be a good mom?
Do you think?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean, really good question.
A bit of softness here and there, like cushioning the blow here and there.

(13:19):
But.
Well, let's we can we can dive further into that.
Yeah.
Then kid garped imagining his drawing coming to life and his battling Nazis with his dad.
Like I thought that was I think I had a lot of fun.
You could instantly see how much heart this film has.
Right.
And then crossing over into the kinds of things that come up in movies that, yes.

(13:46):
Prompt a lot of memories in all of and a lot of us, not all of us, a lot of.
Yes.
The.
A well enough number of a sport to matter.
Let's go with that.
Okay.
Okay.
There you go.
Because yeah.
Hanging out with the neighbor kid, same age as him.

(14:07):
Let's be clear about this.
And she's like, I know how to make a baby.
Do you?
It's like, yeah, of course.
Like, how do you you don't even have a dad.
And I'm like, oh, and that whole.
But this whole scene.
Go ahead.
This whole.
Go ahead.
No, I mean, no, you're right.
Like this thing is like this.
They're the awkward painfulness of the whole thing, because it's like, first of all, yeah,

(14:29):
she's like, how would you know you don't have a dad?
And you're just like right away, you're just like puncher.
What did she say that to you for?
Why are you hanging out with this bitch?
You're like six years old.
Go ahead and punch her.
Those are sandbox fights.
Those don't count yet.
You could do better anyway.
But then on top of that, when she starts going into the whole pantomime of how babies are

(14:53):
made, basically telling on her parents.
100%.
Okay.
But let's be very clear here.
She's like, okay, so having a baby starts like this.
You have to come, you have to like nudge me and I have to have a headache.
Right.
Yes, I have a headache.
And then she literally goes, and then you attack me and tear my clothes off and yell

(15:16):
every night with your headache.
Yeah, this like that is a very, very dark moment hidden in a supposedly sweet moment,
which is not innocent at all.
Like all of this.
And then because the dog, oh, who and the dog.

(15:36):
We don't talk enough about how children are monsters.
That's the thing is like we give them way too much credit.
Oh no, we do not, man.
Not my family.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, that's the thing.
Like, no, like kids are horrible.
Kids are awful, horrifying, mean, deviant, little.
They suck.
They just do.

(15:59):
When they become people, they realize how horrible they were as children.
And then it's that guilt that kind of reprograms them to realize what kind of people they should
be.
Yeah.
Which, interestingly, is a direct argument against your optimism over the human human

(16:21):
nature because all young humans are monsters.
They have to be taught how to be decent people.
But yeah, all kids are just.
All kids.
Fuck it.
All kids.
All kids, man.

(16:41):
Yeah, not my kids.
I mean, that was kind of the that was no, seriously.
I mean, that was one of those things like I was like I didn't start truly hating kids
until after I had my kids and I saw how effortlessly it was, how effortless it was for them to
be nice people.
And I'm looking at my friends, kids going like, how did you fuck that up?

(17:03):
Like look at my I didn't do anything.
Look at how nice mine is.
I literally did nothing.
What the fuck did you do to make that?
I have met your children.
I have spent some time with them and I will give you that.
They are they are a bit different.
They are.
I don't know.
I don't know how to describe them.
How would I describe your kids?

(17:23):
Aloof.
They are a little aloof for sure.
Yep.
That's probably I think to themselves.
Yeah, because there's not a bad way to describe your kids like because what I'm trying to
describe is not a bad thing in any way.
I just very, very different from me and very, very different from you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So yeah, kind of.

(17:44):
Yeah, I do like your kids, though.
They're both pretty cool.
Yeah, I think so, too.
Definitely some of the better ones that I have met.
They're definitely like I said, I didn't start hating kids until I had them.
And now I'm like.
All these other kids are monsters.
I like I literally I'm not kidding.
I did nothing.
They just turned out that way all on their own.

(18:07):
And yeah, so if you're if your kid's an asshole, it's your fault somehow.
Sorry, because the guy who did nothing got perfect kids.
So well, yeah.
But the fact that you got perfect kids, that ain't exactly your fault either.
I mean, they just kind of like maybe maybe people just wind up how they're going to wind
up.
That's probably true.
Yes.

(18:27):
Yeah, they're probably.
I mean, you kind of take a look at.
Well, we'll go further into the movie.
When that dog attacks, though, that was getting me like it.
They did a good job of making that look legit.
Yeah, they really did.
That dog like grabbed onto that kid's shoulder and was holding on while the kid was was flailing

(18:48):
around.
So yeah, I don't know how they did that scene, but it was freaking impressive.
Yeah, I yeah, I will definitely get that.
And then that's our introduction.
That's our introduction to poo, by the way.
That is our introduction into poo and cushy.
Cushy.
Yes, cushy is the girl he's doing the play around with.
Who is her sister who right off the bat is creepy.

(19:12):
We can't tell what her thing is.
She just seems to like fucking with her sister and Garp, especially.
Then that's the first.
Oh yeah, she's got a hate on for Garp.
Yeah, she really does.
And I guess, like, depending on how you want to look at this, that is Chekhov's poo.
Oh no.

(19:37):
So when the dad came over and Garp's like, you know, he bit me and the dad's like, dogs
got good taste, huh?
Oh God, yeah.
I liked that.
I thought like if you get bit by a dog or something like that, honestly, I think that
is a fantastic reaction.

(19:58):
That is a good joke.
He didn't come across as like disinterested or anything.
He thought he's like, OK, your mom's a nurse, go run off, she'll fix you up.
He joked a little bit with it and he didn't yell at the kid.
I thought that was a good reaction.
It was a decent reaction.
Yeah, I mean, it was still kind of like he kind of got the injustice of it because he

(20:20):
like straight off the bat accused him of bothering the dog and getting himself bit.
That was where it was just kind of like, hey, man, you know, but but yeah, like trying to
like helping the kid kind of cope with it by going like, it could be worse and you know,
all that sort of stuff.
Yeah, it's a good way.
And then also just, you know, instead of just sending the kid off and go like, go see your

(20:40):
mom, she's a nurse, maybe take the kid, walk the kid home, let him, you know, that sort
of thing.
There was a little blood.
This was the 50s, man.
OK, that's a good point.
That is a good point.
Yeah, but yeah, it still felt a little it still felt a little, you know, so here's where

(21:01):
I'm gonna buy back.
I'm gonna buy back on this a little bit.
Because I am a dog owner, love my dog.
Right.
If anybody wound up like in my yard or something like that, and my dog like had just attacked
them.
I know my dog's well enough to go, what did you do?

(21:23):
That's OK.
You know what?
You have a really good point there.
Thank you.
Yeah.
OK.
Like I said, like I was looking at that guy's perspective from like my own.
I didn't really see anything wrong with that.
But when the mom comes over later and she's like, I will kill your dog.
And I'm like, OK, I don't really see much wrong with her response either.

(21:45):
This just this is a shitty situation.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's like I said, everybody in this movie happens.
Yeah.
There's no real good guys or bad guys, you know, except for Lythgaard's characters, the
only one that seems to be a straight through good guy in the whole thing.
You know, everybody else has their has their moments, you know, the Dean.

(22:05):
The Dean was nothing but a well-intentioned character.
That's true.
That is very true.
Yes.
Bit of a buffoon, but certainly well-intentioned the whole way through.
That is true.
Having him go to the funeral with Alzheimer's or dementia, whatever.
That was perfect.
I love that so much.
But back to the beginning of the movie.
He's about to be forced to play basketball, but and mom won't let him near cushy.

(22:30):
And then when Garb finds wrestling and then follows that wrestler into that literal locker
room, Doc.
Right.
Yeah.
And that's interesting, too, because what attracts him to wrestling is the headgear
they wear looks like the headgear he imagined his father wears as a pilot.
And that's what draws him to wrestling.

(22:52):
Which what a detail.
Yeah.
Right.
That is a fantastic detail to catch on to.
And it's a very it's very like through the child's eyes, like I can remember as a kid
making weird connections like that the same way, you know, and it's kind of like you don't
do enough service to that in your storytelling with kids sometimes.

(23:13):
I will agree with that.
I did like that moment when the coach got caught joking like the boys and then he sees
the nursing is like Jenny.
It's like it like just kind of shrinks in and he kind of like laughing to himself.
That felt like such an actual genuine real moment that didn't even feel filmed.

(23:35):
It was weird.
Yeah, because it all came off so naturally.
It was almost like you wondered if it was an outtake or something like, yeah, it was
a weirdly natural moment.
That was very, very good.
I really loved that.
And then that's that whole sequence where Garp is up on the roof and he's like acting
like he's a pilot and all this.

(23:58):
And then his mom like wakes up hearing that he's on the roof and can't find him.
But then he like almost falls off the roof.
And my God, the way she catches him.
That was that was great.
No, I watched that a few times.
That was amazing.
And so Garp is falling off the roof and then Glenn Close grabs him by like his foot or

(24:24):
his ankle.
She grabs him by the ankle.
OK, yeah, she grabs him by the ankle and he flips upside down and she just like super
mom badass catches him, which awesome.
And the Dean has part of the roof falls down and just plonks him and he's like, oh, did
you see I caught the boy just like that.

(24:46):
Glenn just lets him think that no one no one corrects him.
They're just like, he means well.
Yeah, like he means well.
Let him have it.
Apparently.
You know what?
We never really saw the Dean after and tell the funeral.
What if that thing falling on him gave him brain damage and he actually believed that
the rest of his life?
What if that was his last day as a Dean?

(25:08):
That's a really good question.
They never cleared that up, but I kind of hope that's the case.
That makes it even a little bit better.
But it's the next it's the next scene, though.
It's like when she's got the Dean in the nurse's office, she's patching up the wound on his
head that he just got.
Fantastic scene.

(25:28):
That she actually that's the first time she actually tells the whole story of how she
met Garp's dad and the conception and everything.
And the kid is like, oh, I finally get to hear about it, you know, and the Dean is beside
himself.
He he he leaves the room ending with you know what?

(25:50):
I never heard this.
And go because he's because he's floored and appalled 100%.
He straight up says he's like, you you raped a dying man.
He's not wrong.
Yeah, he's like, I got to get out of here.
This is messed up.

(26:11):
What if I die?
Like, I don't know what is going through his head.
But like, interestingly, right before that, she's like, oh, like she's talking about lust
and she's like really slamming it.
She's like, but I can tell I can it's nice I can talk to you about this, Dean.
You're past all that lust stuff.
He's like, no, I'm not.
What?
My good woman.

(26:31):
I'm still a man.
I'm alive.
His his what might be the bet.
Like that was that that was my first real big laugh for this movie.
Like that got me that got me big.
They go to her father's funeral.

(26:52):
And then he says, well, now you don't have a father either.
And they decide to go for a swim.
And that's our first moment.
That's kind of watch out for the undertow.
Yeah, yep.
And he goes for that he goes for a swim and then he turns into Robin Williams.
And it took a good bit of time before we got our Robin Williams.
But I really appreciated the opening sequences for this film.

(27:14):
Oh, sure.
Yeah.
I mean, not the official opening sequence.
That was a little bit awkward.
But and I think that's what makes this this movie kind of different than most.
Like because, like I said, when I you know, when I told you about last week was that it's
almost like it's a biopic.
It spans it spans an entire lifetime.
And it does kind of like throw you off sometimes because they will jump many years in the future

(27:40):
without any indication.
It isn't until we notice that the kids are older or something like that, you know, that
they've gotten married, that the kids that there are kids that they've got.
Yeah, no, they there was no title card four years later.
There was none of that stuff in this.
We got in 1944 in Dog Harbor and that was pretty much it.
Yep, which.

(28:01):
God, what a beautiful house.
Yeah, yep.
But I'm pretty sure I've seen that house on a lot of shows and in a lot of movies.
For a house like that, I wouldn't be surprised if a studio owns that house just for movies
to film in.
I think that's one of the houses or that's a house from the Black Mirror episode.

(28:26):
San.
What the.
The the Black Mirror episode where dying people like transfer over into like this in between
like a like San Bernardino or something like that.
Yeah, I know what you're talking.
I remember that one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think that house was in that episode.
I only saw that episode once, so I don't remember.

(28:47):
Fair.
A lot of like most of Black Mirror.
It's kind of it's hard that that show is heavy, beyond heavy.
Re-watching that is.
Yeah, no, that's not such a big thing.
I just watched it a couple of months ago, which is why I think so many of these things
are fresh in my mind.
OK, now I have love, death and robots being pushed on to me.

(29:10):
But man, those episodes are so short.
It's just not even it's not that fun to get into it.
I like to get into stuff.
Sure.
I feel like 12 minute episode.
That's not that doesn't feel right, but they are funny.
I will give you that.
The explanation for TS.

(29:30):
Terribly sexy Robin Williams.
I thought that was good.
Yeah, it stands for terribly sexy.
It used to stand for terribly shy, but I've changed.
And then like as it goes to the future, like it goes so terribly shy to terribly sexy to
terribly sad.
Yes.
And like basically that is his core personality points through a lot of this film.

(29:55):
I think that was kind of reductive, but also on the nose at the same time.
Mom catches.
Oh my God.
When his mom catches him making eyes at Mary Beth hurt as a home.
Oh my God.
I like that because you see like, I think that and then like once you cut right over

(30:15):
to his mom, you just see this.
She is.
But that was so that was great.
That was awesome.
You just had you just have the stern, the stern Glen close eyes just going to.
And they'll get you.
Oh, they definitely were effective.
I felt it.

(30:38):
Then cushy returns and man, like you just why?
It had to happen.
I feel like this was included specifically for poo.
Yes, there probably was about about reestablishing, you know, who poo is and basically making
her because poo never says anything.

(31:00):
She's an appearance, but she has a very specific appearance that we needed to be familiar with
for when she shows up.
Right.
And man, I like the way that cushy comes in.
She's like, Garp, it's good to see you.
Let's go over boyfriend goes up and gives Garp a kiss.
Right on the mouth.
I have a headache and I'm like this woman.

(31:23):
Wow.
Yeah, I know.
Right.
Wow.
I think and then.
Just damn cushy.
The walk with Helen as he showcases his knowledge, as he's trying to impress her, like he just
knows everything.
Like that he like that is that is who he is.

(31:46):
He has like he dives into and he learns about all the peripheral knowledge of all these guys.
And one and one could also I mean, and there's there's that too, that one could also take
from it that it's possible because if she's if she's reading Ulysses, that's a multi day
project at the very least.
She's probably been reading that book for a few days now, and he's gone to the library

(32:08):
to read everything there is on James Joyce so you can talk to her about it.
Which is way more impressive in the 50s before the Internet was invented.
That is that is a Herculean effort to go learn everything about your perspective girlfriend's
favorite author in a matter of days.
That is a really good point.
I actually didn't take it to that take it that far, but that is really.

(32:30):
Yeah.
But it is also possible that he does actually know these things because he does he does
prove to be genuinely interested in all of this stuff over time.
So it could go either way.
And it seems like he may have been like looking to be a writer anyway, because he got right
to it.
And apparently his story was really good.
Yeah.

(32:50):
Yep.
Magic Loves, which when sorry, we'll get there.
Typing into the night and his mom is mad that it's about her story, which becomes wildly
ironic later in the film.
Yep.
And fooling with cushy and that's the thing Robin Williams and cushy like Garpin cushy.

(33:10):
They're fooling around all that apparently is something they've been doing for a long
time.
And who is.
Cucked.
I go, what do you want to call this?
Like she's a voyeur.
Like she's definitely like, you know, like my god, she's a terrible character.
I'm sorry.
Wait a minute.
There are no bad characters in this movie.

(33:30):
I'm sorry.
Who is a horrible person?
OK, fair.
That is fair.
That is.
But it's but it's weird.
We don't know her story because her main focus seems to be it starts off.
It's like she's for some reason we don't know if she's jealous of her sister or just
hates her or what.
But it's like her main focus at first appears to be her sister because both times that we
see her fucking with Garp, it's when Garp is with her sister.

(33:53):
So it isn't until way later on that she's fucking with just Garp.
It seems to be some sort of familiar, familial sibling rivalry almost like like you're almost
thinking like, does Poo have a thing for Garp and she's just this is just how she's lashing
out that he's with her sister instead of her.
We don't know.
Or does she just hate her sister so much she doesn't want to see her?

(34:16):
You know, she's just fucking with her while Garp happens to be there.
But I can literally see it being either one of those in the movie doesn't explain any
of that.
The only thing that really bothers me about Poo's character is.
It's funny, like, oh, man, I got to stop slamming Portland as much as I do on this because like,

(34:38):
you know, I got a lot of love for the city.
But who is the character that like if you describe this person, your average feminist
that I came across in Portland would go to the defense of Poo.
Like, oh, you don't know her, sir.
You don't know this.
You don't know this is like.

(34:58):
She's evil.
I don't care why.
Like honestly, let a jury decide why.
Like that is that is not like, oh, my God, when you go out of your way to defend the
most deplorable of people.
You don't look much better.
No, it's like the no.

(35:19):
And this and here is all of my subscribers on this one.
It goes all the way across the board.
The people defending Trump, the people defending women who go around drugging men and raping
that like essaying them and stealing from them and all of the because it's hey, it's
a woman finally doing it.

(35:40):
No, no, no, no.
If you are rooting for the activity, does not matter where it's coming from.
That is horrible.
Yeah.
And I like that has been my opinion on this literally forever.
And as I have traveled this world and this country, I have met so many people like, well,

(36:00):
yeah, but you got to understand, like you can root for them because of what they've
been through.
It's like.
Until what point?
That's kind of that's kind of thing.
Like they're tough.
They're strong rooting for them.
They're tough.
They're strong.
They beat their husbands.
I'm not rooting for them anymore.
No, yeah.
There's a line.
And just because like and that's the thing.

(36:24):
Like I've been seeing all across the board.
There's like I have yet to meet a demographic of people who is excluded from that.
Everybody does it for me.
It's Michael Jackson.
I like the art, the music, everything about it absolutely surpasses every single thing

(36:45):
that I ever heard that he did may have done.
Like, you know, we all had it.
We're all guilty of it.
No, yeah.
I remember I already reading an article some years ago about what to do about the great
art made by horrible people.
And I honestly do not remember how it went out.
It basically was just it was mostly talking about like, you know, things like Roman people

(37:09):
like Roman Polanski and Woody Allen.
It was like, look, we cannot deny that they are auteurs who have made phenomenal stuff.
So what do we do about this?
What do we do about loving the art made by truly, truly shitty people?
And you know what?
I think I think the conclusion was I don't fucking know because I don't remember.
I don't remember what you mean.

(37:30):
You don't know.
So the article itself is a really stupid point.
Somebody made it.
That person is not every actor is not the cameraman and the director and the writer
and the like.
No, you have hundreds of people that come together to make something.
One person's an asshole.
So you boycott literally everything.

(37:51):
No, no, no, you don't.
That is an unfortunate aspect of life.
And that is what is what do we do about it?
We deal with it.
It's unfortunate.
We praise the work.
We don't praise the people.
That's what we do about it.
It's a very simplistic answer.
Trying to trying to throw complication on it is kind of weird.

(38:11):
It's complicated because we tend to attach people to things.
It's part of creating the narrative.
It's why we build statues of people is because if you create a human element to the event,
it helps connect us to it.
So it's the same.
It's the same reason why, you know, it's.
I'm trying to think of an example here, you know, like there's something that adds to

(38:37):
like for all the lore that comes from, you know, and all the good intentions and stuff
that comes like for Star Trek fans.
If you add in the element that the only reason Star Trek even exists in the first place was
because Lucille Ball was the one producer in all of Hollywood with that that was willing
to green light it.

(38:58):
That adds to it.
You know, that makes it a little bit more grand and it adds respect to the whole thing.
And what when you find it and if you what?
What do you mean?
Wily?
Yeah, you didn't know that.
No, I.
When I was a kid, I was not watching Star Trek when I was a kid.
I was watching I Love Lucy.
So my my.

(39:20):
Something kind of magical is happening here a little bit.
I did not know that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Lucille Ball was president of NBC when that show was being developed and she was the last
person to say, no, let's go ahead and do this when everybody else was against it.
Dude.
Yeah.
I had no idea.
And I guess, yeah, my love for Lucy, a little ball or just a little bit more.

(39:44):
I didn't know that was possible.
These human these human connections matter.
And so that's why if we want to try to separate the human from the art, that's difficult.
It's possible, but it's difficult and takes a process as anything else.
And the problem is, is none of us are in the same stage of that process at the same time.
So that's where the conflict happens.

(40:04):
So yeah, you know.
That is that is surprisingly actually not surprising, but that is just true.
What is surprising after all that shit that I just talked and everything that I went through,
we didn't even lose a single viewer.
Hey, thanks for coming along with us, folks.
Yeah, I think our audience is actually starting to figure out who we are.

(40:25):
But that was the thing.
Like it was always going to get tailored.
People were going to come in, figure it out, leave.
And then the people who are our people are going to stick around.
So that's kind of nice.
So you know, hey, guys, I.
God, I really cannot stop hating Pooh.

(40:49):
And she deserves it.
The character absolutely deserves it.
It's just well, God, I know no explanation at all.
For our audience, some people want to watch the world burn.
Right, yes.
And for our audience members who haven't seen the movie yet, we should probably get to why
before you get that far into your hate, because we've only seen it.

(41:11):
We've only mentioned her twice so far.
No, we can't.
We have to like you have to explain the Ellen Jamesians before you explain what she does
become.
You like, oh, my God.
Every relatable moment watching the mom have writer's block and being super annoyed that

(41:35):
just Garp like listening to Garp type in and as the words are flowing and just being like.
Well, it's an interesting thing there, too, because she never even she never it never
occurred to her to ever try writing anything until Garp started writing.
So that makes it kind of a very weird thing where it's like she's been she's made her
entire identity about being Garp's mom more than anything, and now that Garp is a college

(42:01):
student, he's starting to explore his life outside of his mother being a writer, being
interested in girls.
She's not handling it well at all.
And not only is she like, stay away from that.
She goes on the attack of the sexes or sexes of sex.
Yep.
So she's like, you stay away from that homes girl and don't you write about me.

(42:23):
And now she's sitting there trying to she now she wants to be a writer just because
that's what he's doing.
And it seems to make him happy.
And she doesn't want to not be his mom anymore.
And I felt like I was something credible narcissism, like narcissistic tendencies just rolling
off of that character.
Say definitely a major amount of self-importance for sure.

(42:45):
I don't know if I'd call it narcissism just yet, but it's definitely all that way.
Well, yeah, that's a lot of self-importance for sure.
It gets there.
But that I really like, I honestly like there's a you can dive into like the psychology of
these characters.
And like this is a fantastic film.

(43:05):
Right.
Yeah.
Like I should not have like, you know what?
No, I'm glad that I have not seen this movie until I am the age I am now, because I don't
think I would have appreciated this when I was.
Okay.
Yeah.
This is how I should have seen this movie.
I think I definitely appreciate it more now than I did when I first saw it.
I enjoyed it.

(43:26):
I thought it was funny and I thought it was a good film.
But yeah, revisiting it now, I'm definitely taking a lot more from it than I did the first
time I saw it for sure.
Yeah.
I think I'm at the right stage of my life to have seen this and to be seen this.
And also there was that moment because while his mom is sitting there just being angry
because like Garp is typing it like going and he's got it and he's just pushing and

(43:49):
pushing and pushing, there was a moment where I was watching that and I went, when Doc sees
this scene, is he going to have the same level of fuck you for me?
Look, I've tried not to make it a thing.
I've done my best to just respect your process.

(44:11):
You respect mine.
And I think we're doing okay.
And I'm pretty sure I have only said go fuck yourself once.
When you said I spent all day writing and I did 10,000 words today, I think that time
I let it slip.
Go fuck yourself.
I couldn't hold it in.
But I'm pretty sure it's only happened once.
I guarantee it has been under a handful of times.

(44:31):
I know that.
Okay.
But that's kind of what, but again, right into the stage of your lifetime thing, there
was a point in my life that that would have been like, oh God, that would have hit me.
Now I'm at a point that's like, in this context, that is a pretty big compliment.

(44:56):
Yeah.
So, I will take it.
But I had that, that is exactly that moment that you just described.
As soon as she was ripping the page off of hers and staring up and hearing his typewriter,
I was like, Doc.
I swear to God that is Doc's face when I am describing, like every time I have described

(45:19):
going on a flow on the other end of the screen is that face.
And I'm like, sorry, man.
But not at all.
Not at all the entire reason why I recommended this movie.
No, I genuinely forgot about that part of the movie.
And so, no, this was not military or motive.

(45:39):
I promise.
I got a huge laugh out of that, though, because like I said, I'm at a healthier place.
That moment when Helen runs from Garp because she busted him fooling around with another
woman and now she is sprinting away from him and he's like, oh, I'm catching up.

(46:01):
Right.
Because he has no idea.
He didn't know that she busted him.
No, he has no idea.
And like looking at that scene from two different perspectives, it was wild.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because he's because she's like, creep, get away from me.
She's running and he's like, oh, we're playing game.
And he starts chasing after like, hey, lady, like, oh, man, this is this is awkward.

(46:22):
A little bit.
But then a car runs into him, sends his short story flying, and then he apologizes to the
car for the car hitting him, which.
All right.
I was raised in North Dakota.
I probably would do the same thing.
I mean, that's just is what it is when you're a Midwest boy.

(46:42):
You can't you can't help but apologize.
Am I breathing?
Oh, I'm sorry.
Do I have a pulse?
Shit, I am so sorry.
Like it is just it is too much a part of it.
It's great.
I hate it.
I wish I could get rid of it.
She tells him she saw and then he just responds that he's leaving her for New York because
the men in his family die young.

(47:04):
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's too much time because the men in my family die young.
It's like, oh, I.
Does that line work?
Like that's.
Good question.
Relative.
Oh, man.

(47:25):
Oh, I remember I actually did think of a story that I was going to tell this week.
Real quick.
I'm actually going to go all the way into it, but just really short form.
One of the only conversations that I had with this this woman I went to high school with
like we stayed after school.
She was waiting for her little brother to finish practice and I was walking past and

(47:49):
she was like one of the very, very popular people and all that didn't really talk to
this person at all.
Wound up sitting there for like three hours talking to her after everybody left and all
that.
Even the janitor was walking by and like he's like we were sitting on the like in like
the commons area.
He walks by and he turns the lights off.
I turn around, look at him.
He's like.
I'm like damn buddy, but.

(48:14):
In that conversation we were talking about how I just doing the army couple of years
or about a year later.
I get back to this.
I get my marching horse and all that and we wind up at the same party.
First thing that comes to my mouth that comes out of my mouth.
I'm deploying every single dude around me was like, that's a hell of a pickup line.
And I'm like, no.

(48:36):
Because like the last, like the only real conversation that me and this woman ever had
was about the fact that I had just joined the army and how fast I might deploy.
And when I saw her, I flashed right back to that.
And there's not a person on this planet that would not believe that I was not trying to
pick this woman up with that, with saying that.
But that just was not what was happening.

(48:58):
I'm just an awkward shit.
Well I already told you about the time that like, you know, I got picked up in a bar,
you know, immediately after mentioning that I'm leaving for China in a couple of months.
You know, there was that.
I do remember that.
Yeah, you know, I mean.
Things happen.

(49:19):
Yeah.
Biting off bonkers either though.
Oh, yes, I was going to say, I think the main thing, I think the interesting thing about
that is as soon as it's the safety, it's the knowing that you're not going to be around
to make their life miserable is what makes you sexier.
Like that's like that.
I think that's a surprisingly, I think it's a surprisingly large amount where women will

(49:42):
look at you and go, he seems OK, but do I want to deal with this forever?
And if they know that it's not going to be forever, it's going to be like a month or
so at most.
They'll be like, I can take a chance on that.
I think that I think that you just generalize that on women.
But I think you should just go ahead and apply that to people.
No, you're not wrong.
You got a good point there.

(50:03):
Yeah, that that that fight that Robin Williams has with bonkers and then he writes his ear
off.
I mean, oh, man.
And then the angry dog owner comes over.
There's blood everywhere.
Like all this dog won't come out.
No, I was like.
Garp it bonkers and then shut the window.

(50:24):
And I'm sorry, even as a dog owner, the hell am I going to say to that?
I mean, yeah, we're I mean, we're even now basically is what happened.
So, you know.
Often New York with mommy and they walk past a hooker and she goes, is that the latest
fashion?
No, mom, it's the oldest profession.

(50:45):
Great line.
Fantastic line.
Poetry.
Poetry.
That was absolutely amazing.
And the mom wants to learn about lust from swoosie Kurtz.
I did not recognize her at all.
I never knew her before she was like.

(51:05):
The swoosie Kurtz that I grew up with.
There's not a wrinkle on that woman.
No, yeah.
No, I did not recognize her at all.
No, me neither.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
She's under a lot of, you know, poor makeup.
So it was tough to kind of recognize her.
It shouldn't be because every character she's ever played since then is constantly covered

(51:28):
under a bunch of poor makeup.
Oh, that's true.
That is very true.
Yes.
She is absolutely dynamite and hilarious in that role.
And she has made a very prolific career off of doing that.
And she's great in this one, too.
I mean, she like she doesn't have a big role in this one, but it is a memorable one.
Like.
I've seen her like three times, I think.

(51:48):
Yeah, like she shows.
And yeah, and then Garb's mom is all like, I'll give you 20 bucks and I'll buy you coffee.
I just want to ask you some questions about about this.
And she's very matter of flight.
And here and I think that's the delicious irony of this of this character is the fact
that she is anti sex, but pro sex worker.

(52:14):
I don't think she's anti sex.
She's anti sex with men.
They don't really differentiate with her in this one.
She sees she's.
I don't know about that.
OK, I don't.
I mean, all the lesbian lesbians, like there were a lot of discussion over lesbian communities
really being about her.

(52:38):
So why would the lesbian community be about her if like it was straight up?
I mean, it wasn't just feminists.
It wasn't just feminists.
It was the lesbian community as well.
So if there was a specific community about who you have sex with and not about not having
sex and she wasn't like she said she tried to stop the Ellen Demesians.

(52:58):
Right.
Am I saying that right?
Jamesians, I think Jamesians.
Yeah.
Well, what a dumb thing.
That was that's probably that is to the hardest part.
Yeah, that is probably the hardest part of this whole movie is the Ellen Jamesian bit.
Yeah.
Yeah, I got to say.

(53:19):
But then so that whole conversation that he has with him, his mom and the hooker.
And then she's like, well, here, here's twenty dollars.
You guys go do whatever you would like to do.
He pays.
She pays for her son's hooker.
And then they're like, oh, my God, this is the most horrible, awkward thing ever.

(53:39):
And then she leaves and they're like, oh, that are gone.
It's not so awkward anymore.
Is there a little eyes, a little smile?
And they do.
Like she's like, your mother's weird.
You could say that.
Yeah, I got to stop.
I'm trying so hard to do Robin's voice.
And that's just I got to stop.

(54:01):
Because I mean, because Kelly and I were even talking about this.
Any movie with Robin Williams now hurts ten times more than it should.
Yeah, it just like it like there's like.
I used to be able to do his voice a little bit because practicing his voices is what

(54:22):
I was doing when I was a kid to be a voice actor.
Every voice that Robin Williams did, I practiced.
So I have stumbled my way into being able to do his voice.
It does not make me feel good anymore.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
Like it's yeah.
Anyway, I like that line from The Hooker.

(54:43):
Your mother's weird.
You could say that.
And just that that sexual tension look that they that they have with one another.
Right.
Yeah.
What this makes me want to do is go back and check if Robin Williams and Suzy Kurtz ever
actually did additional roles together after this and see how they performed and what the

(55:04):
like the dynamics of those those roles, because very, very easily you could do a callback
to this without an.
Oh, yeah.
Never would have noticed at all.
No, I am kind of curious.
That would have been.
Yeah, that would be interesting to look into.
Yeah, I agree.
The mom's writer's block is over and Garp goes to the blinds and using the blinds to

(55:27):
transition through his memories was unbelievably.
This was for we got we got a couple of layers to this because first of all, we're seeing
we're seeing the beginning of Garp's writing process.
You know, it's where it starts.
He's kind of getting lost in his head and he's looking at the window.
He's thinking about his memories.
He's thinking about, you know, when he was a little kid, seen scenes that we've already

(55:49):
seen, you know, the all the way up to him, like collecting the pages of his first short
story with the with the girl that dumped him, you know, and to start it off, to start off
this whole thing, which I freaking loved, I thought was amazing is as he's walking
through his little writing studio, go into the window.

(56:09):
We hear this very soulful saxophone music being played and it feels very kind of just
like, you know, you know, he to the night kite moment.
And as he's looking out the window, we see the first thing we see out his window is the
building next door.
And there's a guy playing the saxophone in the in the building next to it.
So it's like we're hearing this saxophone soundtrack and then, oh, it's coming from

(56:33):
across the street.
That's what I love.
What is happening in the real world like that is awesome.
Yes.
And I want to sing the praise of the saxophone again, because if there was any instrument
I wish I would have learned, it would be the saxophone.
I almost learned the saxophone.
I think like that is an instrument that there is no difficulty in carrying that on to the

(56:58):
rest of your life.
No, no, for sure.
You can play a saxophone somewhat quietly or soothing and all that.
You can't do that shit with the trumpet.
No, trumpet trumpet is loud and blaring no matter what.
Yeah.
No, when I was when I was in school, they did like, you know, they had like band band
class type stuff where you could just pick an instrument and they'd teach you.

(57:19):
And I did I did one year of saxophone.
And to this day, I wish I'd kept up with it.
But I do.
I hear you there.
I was an undisciplined child with undiagnosed ADHD who could not.
The fact that the fact that learning to play the saxophone involved practicing with it
for at least an hour a day at home.
I was like, fuck that.

(57:41):
Okay.
All right.
Yeah, that is the discipline of a child.
That is fair.
Yeah.
So I was visualizing his tragic short story and watching the short story was was interesting.
Hearing the short story was incredibly beautiful.
Yeah, I liked watching all the setups and everything like that come together.

(58:05):
And when he described the random elements, everybody that he touches, he can make them
happy, but he can't feel the happiness because it's the gloves that do it.
So he takes the gloves off and dies, but he actually feels something for a split second
before he does.
So even though it's the end of his life is the happiest moment of his life.

(58:27):
Yeah, that is.
What?
That was beautiful.
Yeah, that was beyond beautiful.
And I loved it.
And what does the mother do?
Didn't really get it.
Right.
He just explained it to you, lady.
Comment on it.

(58:48):
Well, no, it was the other way around.
That's the thing is like he she read it and she was like, it's fine.
It's adequate.
I didn't really get it.
And he goes like, no, it's about this.
And he tells her that part how he can't touch anybody.
And then she goes, oh, well, if that's what it's about, then I like it.
And then she leaves because she's got her because while he's been writing this short
story, she's taken her conversation with the hooker and turned it into like this big of

(59:13):
a manuscript and she's on her way to a publisher right now, which, you know.
Fuck yourself, lady.
You do your first one and you instantly get famous.
I've been trying this forever.
And yeah, OK, let's get that out goes.
Well, yeah, that literally is how it goes.

(59:34):
I left North Dakota to get into the entertainment industry.
Three years later, my fucking dad winds up on Gold Rush on the Discovery Channel.
The fuck is that shit?
No, no, that is literally exactly how that goes.
Yeah, I still can't believe that actually is something I get to say.

(59:55):
That is come on, man.
Do we already did that?
Oh, so he grabs his story as well when they go off to meet the publisher and she's like
and grab the typewriter will return that.
I'm like, oh, she's done now.
Yeah.
She doesn't need her typewriter anymore.
She's done.
She's she's.
No, she sat down, did her work, and now she can return it that she doesn't need it anymore.

(01:00:18):
Just my God.
Like come on.
And I love that like meeting with the publisher and it ends with him just like looking at
the manuscript going.
Oh my God.
Yeah, I think I think he gets.
Yeah, I think he very quickly got the part about how her son was conceived and he's like,
oh shit, I got to publish this.

(01:00:39):
I'm thinking so because he even says your mom is not a writer like this is like it's
not a story.
It's not like this is this is dangerous.
Yeah, he mentions it right away.
Like you are a perfectly fine writer.
You are a good writer.
Yep.
Your mom is not a writer.
She is a cult.

(01:01:01):
And that is exactly what happens.
Ellen reads Garp story and is absolutely destroyed.
And I have to say that is the most relatable moment in this entire movie.
Yes, when when she when she finishes reading it and she says, I'm so sad and he jumps

(01:01:21):
up and goes, yes, yes, and does a dance.
He's like, you're sad.
You're devastated.
That is exactly I'm sorry.
Like as like when you're writing something, if you get emotions from the reader, it doesn't
matter which one you got one.
Yeah, exactly.

(01:01:42):
Yes.
When when my wife read part of my part of my story and then when she came out of the
off the computer, looked at me and went, I'm turning my phone on.
I'm putting my headphones in and I don't want to talk to you for a while because I killed
her favorite character.
Like she was sad and she was mad and I was over the moon happy.

(01:02:05):
Like I said, that was that was exactly like exactly how he responded.
Jumping in the air, everything like that over the moon happy.
I completely understood that.
And that was what a what a relatable moment, man.
Yeah.
And it's funny.
We're talking about them like doing time jumps.

(01:02:26):
Apparently, she forgave him at some point because now they're talking about getting
married.
Yeah, like anything about the forgiveness.
Yeah.
It was the first time that it happens in this movie.
We see a lot of their relationship go by really, really fast.
So yeah, like this is the first time we've seen her since she told him to basically go

(01:02:46):
fuck himself over over the other girl.
And now she's reading it and she's like, yes, I love it.
And he goes, you did say that you wanted to marry a writer.
And she goes, yes, I did.
And so and like right off the bat, like, let's get married.
And so we don't know how much time has passed since then or what their interactions have
been.

(01:03:06):
But apparently, either they've been doing a lot of work for a couple of years to get
there or his story really was just that good.
I mean, I don't know, man, like maybe.
Maybe it was that I thought it was that good.
I loved it that when he gave the explanation to his mom, I was like.

(01:03:28):
I didn't catch that.
And I want to read that story.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, it doesn't really explain.
I mean, that's kind of like why his explanation works is because we don't see it.
We only see the elements.
We see the elements of where he got the story when he finds the gloves up on the ground
and stuff like that.
And then we see kind of the action sequence of the of what his story is.

(01:03:52):
But we don't get the narrative until he tells it to his mom.
Well, yeah.
And that is I mean, but that is honestly that is filmmaking versus storytelling.
And that is why the book is always better.
Yeah.
And it's difficult to combine these things.
And I think that's kind of why it's impressive how they made it work in this sequence, how
they were able to both show us the story and tell us the story at the same time.

(01:04:17):
This is what we were talking about.
OK.
So when the booker returns for the first time, she's like, oh, it's nice to see you again.
She's like, am I in your book?
And she's like, in a way.
And that was I'm not going to lie.
The writer in me went, oh, what?
That is the right way to literally for anybody who ever asked that question, anything like

(01:04:41):
that, be like, hey, man, we've been friends for all these years.
Am I in your book?
Say in a way, because how is that not true?
Right.
Yeah, exactly.
Like, if you've been my friend for 20 years, there's no chance that I can write a 300 page
book and one of our inside jokes not be somewhere on that page.

(01:05:03):
Of course.
Exactly.
So no, that literally is the correct answer pretty much across the board.
But also at the same time, those 300 pages aren't enough to fully explain that character.
And so you got to kind of narrow things down a bit, maybe throw in a few things to kind
of speed it along.
No, I would easily need 30,000 pages to describe any friend that I have.

(01:05:25):
I swear to God that is exactly.
Yeah, that's it.
Yeah.
So it's like I had like in a way, in which case, like, yes, there is a character that
is archetypically speaking based on you.
But I'm not going to say that because that character also has flaws that I know are going
to piss you off.
Oh, good call.
That is a good point.
But this was like we were talking about like your mom's not a writer.

(01:05:48):
She's a cult.
And that reaches a really good point about sales and marketing writers.
Yeah.
If somebody's in the mood for this or not that.
But people who are overly political or like really culty and stuff like that, they will
give you all of their money.
Like that is like that's the dip.
So I really did appreciate that little bit of explanation in there, even though they

(01:06:12):
never went into detail.
That is a very important distinction.
Yes, if you want to make a lot of money, convince people that they're living the wrong way.
Just that is that is which is.
Yeah.
That is just what they all do all the time.
It's crazy to me.
Definitely was not expecting that assassination attempt.

(01:06:35):
But weirdly, that is the craziest version of Chekhov's gun that I have ever seen.
Because it is the whole when the OK, they go to look at that home and the realtor like
freaks out.
She's like, not the bastard son of Jenny Fields.
I'm like, did you just say that?

(01:06:57):
She actually says it.
Yeah.
And he's just like, yeah, that's me.
Yeah, I got to say, man, a lot of sympathy towards Garp in this movie.
Like, this scene, this is the scene that has always stuck with me.
Like I like I told you, is it this part?
I want to finish the note real quick.

(01:07:18):
He says that he's also a writer.
And what does the realtor say?
Oh, isn't that nice?
Yeah.
Isn't that practically says isn't that precious?
Oh, we had some on the head almost.
Yes.
Yeah.
Oh.
So few lines from that realtor and I hated her more than anybody in this movie.

(01:07:43):
Just wow.
But yeah.
Yeah.
And then the plane crashes into this is this is I know this is the scene.
Go ahead.
This is the scene.
Yes.
And it's the one that stuck with me all these years.
It's like while they're sitting there looking at the house and the realtor is doing the
whole like, oh, that's so that's so nice that you're a writer too.
Isn't that cute?
As they're sitting there doing that, we see this this prop job by plane come flying towards

(01:08:07):
the house.
And like the you know, the wife notices it and is kind of staring at it.
And then the realtor stops talking all of a sudden and stares at it and then Garp realizes
they're both stop talking and he turns around and sees and he sees it just in time for it
to go right over them and smash directly into the house, just blowing away almost a half

(01:08:29):
of it.
And then it's like and this is right after the assassination scene of his mom.
And so there is kind of an alarming moment of just like what the hell just happened.
But then the guy gets out of the plane and he's like, is everybody okay?
Like this was an actual accident.
This guy didn't mean to crash.

(01:08:50):
What does he say when he recovers from the accident?
Can I use your phone?
Can I?
And they're like, oh, yeah.
No, that was that was a good scene.
And then Garp turns to the realtor and says, we'll take the house.
It's come pre-disastered.
Yeah, it's safe here.

(01:09:11):
We'll be safe.
Yeah.
And so, yeah, I have on many occasions, you know, because my kids, they have anxieties,
you know, like like their father has a lot of anxieties.
And so I try to reassure them with the, you know, it's like, it's like, well, why?
You know, why are you so worried about this?
And they're like, because last time this happened, this happened.
And I'll go, hey, you know what?

(01:09:32):
The odds of that happening again are astronomical.
You know what?
Good advice comes where it comes from, you know?
Yep.
Garp getting furious because his mother's book has been translated into Apache.

(01:09:53):
It's like not even Shakespeare has been made into Apache.
Shakespeare, Dickens, nope, but Miss Fields?
And you got to feel, you got to feel all the way for him because being a writer was not
his mom's dream.

(01:10:13):
No, the only dream.
It was his dream that she just gave a shot at.
Yeah, almost, almost deliberately just to fuck with him, it seemed like.
It seemed like that.
I will agree with that.
That's where I say like the narcissism came in.
It's like, oh, my son is about to do something.
Shit, I have to do something.
So are they looking at me instead?
Like that was like, ouch.

(01:10:37):
Because and there was, oh, a thought just hit.
It's not a nice one for the mom.
It is straight up narcissism.
It's control.
She didn't, it wasn't about the lack of wanting sex or a father or anything like that.
She literally wanted 100% control over that child.

(01:10:59):
That is wild narcissism.
And then when he tried to have his own personality that was not dictated by her, she rebelled
and then did it first.
Okay, you make very good points.
My main thing though.
My main thing as to why, okay, like, yes, this is definitely an overinflated sense of

(01:11:22):
self-importance that she has.
I'm going to say it's not narcissism, mainly because of what happens later on when there
is trouble in Garp's marriage, the amount of work she does to repair the marriage as
opposed to picking sides.
That is not a narcissistic thing to do.
That is true.

(01:11:45):
So that that's the one thing.
That's kind of the one big thing that really kind of shows that she does have like 40 things
in this movie that work against her on that argument.
So that's what I'm saying.
Major inflated sense of self-importance, but not quite narcissism.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
I'll give you that one.
The way she tells him his pregnant was absolutely beautiful.

(01:12:07):
The scene was just too much for me.
Like, I think I know somebody who else is going to like your book.
There's this kid.
I invited him over and then like, you can kind of hear that he's keying into what's
happening, but he's like afraid to come out of the bathroom until she actually like goes
all the way to saying he'll be here in about seven and a half months.

(01:12:27):
How excited like the look of joy on his face was.
You could feel it.
Oh, you just you just could.
And because of when this movie is set in, the baby is born and you know, I had concerns
about this.
Yeah, I did.
Like I didn't know if the mom was going to make it.

(01:12:48):
The kid was going to make it like the world, according to Garp seemed like it was going
to be an intense tragedy and it was, and I didn't know when the tragedy was going to
take place.
That's the thing is like this, that's what was amazing about this is that this is a movie
that in the beginning paints itself as a comedy, albeit a dark comedy.
It is a comedy, but they definitely give us plenty of warning.

(01:13:09):
No, this is going to be a tragic story.
Starting with the very fact that Garp himself is a tragic writer.
He writes tragedies.
And so we get lots and lots of foreshadowing that tragic shit is going to happen.
And we are waiting for a lot, especially in their happiest moments, right when they are
excited about having a baby.

(01:13:30):
We're like, OK, this is going to be it right here.
But it doesn't.
The tragedies actually come out of fucking left field when they happen.
I mean, that's how tragedy works.
So yeah, you know, you got.
When he first chases that truck and then just leaves the baby in the bassinet in the yard,

(01:13:50):
again, I was expecting for something crazy to happen, but just nothing happened.
Like all the time that I expected something bad to happen, it didn't go down until the
very one particular one that you really saw it coming from a mile away.
And yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, we're almost there to the beginning of that section of notes.

(01:14:13):
And that's why I avoided wealth and fame, referencing moochers around his mom's house.
Right.
Because the cult has arrived.
Her house is now filled with.
Hangers on volunteer like we're never entirely sure what they are.
We just know that there's a shitload of women living in his mom's house and they kind of
seem to just sort of be hanging out there.

(01:14:34):
But we just know that it kind of seems like a mental like hospital or something like a
little bit.
Yeah, it seems like it seems like an institution, but we have no world building on that.
We just know that they're there.
And that's where we're introduced to the two.
To hold on, hold on, hold on.
This is our we get another look at Suzy Kurtz changing a tire and like high heels, which

(01:14:59):
is a perfect character moment for her.
Absolutely.
Yep.
Absolutely.
And she looks good, too.
Like she's lost the makeup.
She looks all like fit and healthy and stuff.
And she sees Garp and she's like, hey there, buddy, I remember you.
And he's all the wife's here.
Yeah, she's like, hi.

(01:15:19):
And his response.
Hi.
Yeah, 100 percent.
I assume you want to talk about John Lithgow as Roberta.
I do want to.
Well, it's two things because we kind of get at the same time we get our introduction to
John Lithgow and the the the Ellen Jamesians at the same time, because, you know, like

(01:15:42):
at first it's weird that these ladies aren't talking to them.
They're writing notes to say hi and stuff like that.
And he accidentally there there's a woman there who is apparently very traumatized.
And so when he touches her by accident, she flips out and it causes this whole thing.
And here comes Roberta played by John Lithgow, who is.

(01:16:08):
OK, clearly not the first trans woman ever to be on in a movie, I'm sure.
Oh, God, no.
It's like transitioning was already huge in the Middle East at this point.
Right.
Yeah.
But like, like when you think movies from like the 70s and 80s, you don't think the
trans character is going to be the most normal, well-rounded, grounded character that you've

(01:16:34):
ever seen in the movie.
And that is that is that is who Roberta is.
Roberta is weird.
Like Robin Williams even says it in later on in the scene as they're talking or he
like turns to her and goes like, so are you visiting someone here?
And she's like, no.
And he goes, because you're like the most normal person here.

(01:16:54):
And so and that's Roberta.
Roberta is the eight foot tall trans woman who is the most normal person in the entire
movie.
And that was not a thing that was done as early as the 80s.
No, that seems crazy.
I don't want to say tolerant because I mean, what are you actually tolerating in that?

(01:17:15):
Like, right.
Exactly.
I would say that seems like crazy, excepting for that era.
Yeah.
And I think that was probably like and the weird thing is, is like, like you want to
kind of give it like some progressive props of being this like, oh, yes, you know, really
kind of showing the representation.
I think really truly they were trying to be deliberately ironic in the same way that the

(01:17:36):
mom is both anti sex but pro trans worker pro pro sex worker.
They were basically saying, hey, let's put a trans character in there and make her the
most normal person.
Like that's never been done before.
That was the audiences would not know what to do with that.
So like, like, like Lithgow comes in and like, so a woman falls and Garp goes to help her

(01:17:57):
up and then she starts just screaming, like, like touched by a man or whatever that was.
Right.
And like, he's trying to apologize.
And then a woman straight up comes over and like tries to tackle him and like attack him.
And it's like, y'all realize you ain't the good ones in this situation, right?

(01:18:17):
Right.
Yeah.
And the sad part of it, they don't.
And that is where I keep like, I was talking about like, where like the, a lot of the feminists
that I've met, a lot of like people in Portland, these like these people would just be automatically
defended nonstop if they were real.

(01:18:38):
Like that and that is, and that is the thing.
And where I've talked a little bit about this very much want to be accepting over any chosen
lifestyle.
What makes it a little bit tougher though, is it's harder to figure out, it's harder
to see the signs of an actual mental health crisis when you're supposed to accept literally

(01:19:01):
whatever a person says.
Yeah.
I know it's true.
Like that, that is, and I, so like, I understand the, the, the fears behind that and stuff
like that because where, if you do have somebody who legitimately healthily of sound mind and
body wants to transition, you got my support 100%.

(01:19:26):
But if you are having a mental health breakdown or a crisis and everything like that, and
instead of being surrounded by people who will, who can recognize a red flag or something
like that, you have put yourself around a bunch of people who support you to make this
decision because it fits the narrative of these things instead of being an actual friend

(01:19:48):
and going, I don't think this is you.
Like me, like we could talk, like talk, like, are you sure you want, like, do you need to
see somebody?
Is there something like this?
Like those are all very normal, healthy questions, but those questions can be important and life-saving.
True.

(01:20:08):
But, and that's my perspective on it.
Sorry.
Right.
And I can only draw from my own experience on this one, of course.
And for me, it was, you know, when I was married to someone who had clinical depression and
was very bad at taking her meds, I soon learned that if I ever came home from work and all

(01:20:35):
the furniture in the house had been rearranged, I could count down exactly two days until
we had a knockdown drag out fight about absolutely nothing.
Because it meant she was off her meds.
Wow.
Because that was how it would start.
She'd stop taking her meds and she would start feeling a little squirrely and she would start

(01:20:55):
thinking that there's something wrong with her life.
And the first, first thing that she would do is think, oh, I just need to rearrange
the furniture and everything will be fine.
And of course, that's not it.
Now here's the thing, the problem with that, how like, yes, I, after going over that, you
know, a few times was able to see that pattern and figure that out.

(01:21:15):
99 times out of 100?
Sometimes you really do just need to rearrange the furniture and that'll fix everything.
And how to tell the difference?
Good fucking luck.
How long were we off subject there?
Oh my, I don't know.
Too long.
Apologies to our viewers.
Oh man.

(01:21:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Where were we even?
Oh, we were this.
Okay.
We were, we just, we think this was just on Lyft Gal.
We haven't even gotten to the Ellie and James Ian's yet.
Motherfucker.
What are you doing?
You, not me.
You, you know me.
You gave me this movie to cover and take notes on.

(01:21:59):
You didn't have to do that.
You knew how I was going to respond to all this stuff.
I'm here to broaden your mind, bro.
That's the thing.
Like I said, I'm already an ally.
I just enjoy having conversations and asking questions.
So when people tell me I'm not allowed to, you turn me directly into your enemy, even

(01:22:22):
though I am an ally to your cause.
That is my point.
I said my piece on that already.
And I have said mine.
I gotta, I gotta stop.
I gotta let it go.
Move, move, move.
So we move on to, I think it's another time jump and it's Halloween time and bears are
afraid or bears are afraid of nobody.
Dude, dude, dude.

(01:22:42):
We got to talk about the alien James Ian's.
I don't have that in me, but fine.
Oh, God, just go.
It's a major plot point, man.
Like it's a major plot point.
We got to at least talk about, we got to at least describe who they are at the very
least.
Okay.

(01:23:03):
Because they, they, they are the major plot point.
Yes, they are a plot point.
They are a major, major plot point.
They are a cult.
They are a sub group.
That's like this whole gathering of women at the Garp's mom's house.
There is a sub group among them that he finds out the reason why they're not talking is
because they've all had their, their tongues cut out because of a young girl named Ellen

(01:23:25):
James who was raped and the rapist cut her tongue out so that she couldn't tell anyone
about them.
And this group of women are activists who in a form of protest slash solidarity have
cut their own tongues out.
And, and I'm 100% with Garp.

(01:23:48):
Yeah.
Like, okay.
That is, that is what, okay.
There you go.
There you go, doc.
That is why I'm in this place.
I am Robin Williams in this scenario.
I have the 11 year old who was assaulted has my sympathy.
The 11 year old who had her tongue cut off has my sympathy.
All these fricking lunatics that are doing it to themselves.

(01:24:10):
That is nothing but self mutilation and they deserve zero.
I am way, I am Garp in this conversation.
That is, I am all the way on board with them.
I completely see where he's coming from.
I do not understand the other side.
And I mean, it would take a psychologist to explain it, but yeah, it's the, no one's defending

(01:24:36):
that and it's even kind of a point later on in the movie where, you know, even Ellen James
herself is begging these women to stop and they, and they refuse to, even though the,
the girl that they are supposedly doing this solidarity for has demanded that they stop
doing it.
They're not listening to her.
And yes, that is a very, very, you know, not even just today.

(01:25:00):
This does go back to many, many, many movements of the past as well of, yeah, folks allying
so hard that they even turn who they're supposed to be an ally to into their enemy because
their cause becomes more important than the reasons behind the cause.
Yeah, and that is absolute burnacy.

(01:25:24):
And this is a thing that is a through line in every great political cause and an unfortunate
byproduct of a lot of these things.
And this is just, you know, Ellen James is a fictional character in this movie that is
a stand in for this entire mentality of creating a self-destructive solidarity movement that

(01:25:45):
then sees itself as more important than the actual people they're supposedly trying to
protect.
And to describe the types of women that are involved in this movement, who is a Jamesian?
Yep.
We find that out near the end is that our, you know, the girl that sicked a dog on Garp

(01:26:08):
because he was making out with her sister, we find out later on that she's, yeah, she's
cut her tongue out.
Yeah, which I really, yeah, we're gonna get there.
All right.
Now Halloween and bears are afraid of nobody?
Except death.
All right.
Everybody's aging quickly and we get our look at Michael Milton.

(01:26:33):
And my first note on Michael Milton is death to Michael Milton.
And that fucking sweater, man, I tell you, has that white knit sweater been worn by-
Oh, I thought you were talking about the sweater I'm wearing.
I'm like, what are you talking about?
No, no, no, no, no.
Let's talk about my sweater.
The sweater, when we get our first look at Michael Milton, he's wearing, just for those

(01:26:55):
of you out there who haven't seen the movie, if you've seen Knives Out, the sweater that
Chris Evans wears in that movie is the sweater that Michael Milton is wearing in this movie
and it's the douchebag sweater.
I have never, ever, ever seen any character in any movie wear that sweater and it not
turn out that he's a complete and utter piece of shit.

(01:27:16):
I need to go watch Knives Out again, apparently.
I don't, damn.
But no, Michael Milton is like, he is our antagonist and I think the only character
in this movie that actually gets what they deserve.
I think you're correct.

(01:27:37):
Like this movie, it's a little bit realistic, a little bit real world, just kind of life
happens and people don't get what they deserve and life is life.
Presumably Pooh does go to jail.
We don't see it, but they did catch her.
So you know.
Yeah, but at the same time, why did she do what she did to Garth?
I still don't understand that, but we will get there.

(01:27:59):
Jogging with Lithgow as she continues to get used to hormones and talks about having a
hormone fit and then Robin Williams sees the truck go through and then he has a hormone
fit of his own.
Right.
Yeah.
He goes total testosterone on that truck.
Yes.
All the way.
It's kind of epic.
And it's kind of because I mean, we have seen that car before and we do know that his first

(01:28:21):
time seeing it was back when his kid was his oldest kid was a baby.
And we now know that that oldest kid is close to seven, eight years old now.
So that means he's been seeing this asshole drive like a madman through his neighborhood
for years.
Yeah.
And so, yeah, he snaps and he he freaking like destroys this car.
And then, you know, once the guy gets back in the car, tries to run them down, driving

(01:28:47):
through yards and stuff like that guy clearly had it coming to him.
Garb shit and stopped when he did.
No, no, no, we should know.
It's Lithgow.
Lithgow held him back and that was the mistake.
Yeah.
But then I like when they bolt and they both realize like, oh God, and then they just take
it.
Now that was but watching Lithgow jump over that hedge, man, dude had ups.

(01:29:09):
Oh, yeah.
He had upset.
I didn't even realize that was kind of that was kind of very impressive.
Then coming out of that movie and hurts.
Hi.
Back to Milton.
Oh, I knew what was going to happen in this movie.
The second I heard that high and it broke my heart.

(01:29:31):
I was like, don't you do this?
Don't you do this?
And then.
And then, you know, Garb kind of asks for it in the very next scene.
That's the thing.
Yeah.
And that was that I'm sure creates a lot of again, a complexity there because yeah, like
you bang the babysitter and he has the audacity to get mad at her banging one of her students.

(01:29:56):
Like that's kind of fucked up.
It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.
I still can't really rectify that one, to be honest.
Yeah.
I. But hey, you know, whatever.
How he arrives home is even more dangerous than the other guy running the stop signs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, realistically, he was running a stop sign too.

(01:30:19):
He cuts the motor, turns off the headlights and coasts the car like the last half a mile
down their street into the driveway.
Running the same stops on the same stop sign that he was like screaming at the other guy
about and where.
Yes.
He's like, the kids love it.
It feels like flying and all that.
It's like, oh God, I remember being that kid.

(01:30:41):
Yep.
And that raised into it's a through line with Garb.
You know, he's all, you know, because he thought his, you know, his dad was a pilot and so
he's kind of always had this sort of weird connection to the idea of flying.
And so we kind of we kind of get it there as to why this would be a lapse in judgment
for him, because it's been a lapse in judgment for him throughout his entire life.
Yeah.
And well, just yeah, I'm thinking about that final scene and I can't.

(01:31:09):
We'll get there.
We'll get there.
I can't talk about that.
I don't.
I. That the emotions, they were high.
Every new domino put in place that brings us to that scene is more painful than the
one that came before it.
It very much is because we can't because this.
Yeah, this is like you were saying, this is the one tragedy in the movie that we can see

(01:31:33):
coming and seeing it coming is what makes it worse.
Yeah.
It's just one thing after another.
Oh God.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Yep.
Like the anxiety was very, very high through these moments.
Yeah.
And so Robin takes the babysitter home and while he's taking her home, like they just

(01:31:59):
have those little back and forth.
She's reading his book.
She's obsessed with it, all this stuff.
And then he asked how old she is and she says she's 18 and he says the line, one of the
only lines that has ever made me want to strangle Robin Williams.
It was a creepy line.
That is the maximum.
Are we even going to do you want to say it?

(01:32:21):
No, no.
Yeah.
So he says there's nothing sexier than like I'm 18.
There's no sentence sexier than that.
And then he's like, do you promise you're 18?
And then he pulls the car over and it's like, oh dude, Robin, you couldn't.
You can.
I mean, and it's not Robin.

(01:32:41):
It's Garth.
I mean, it's Garth.
It's the character is everything like that.
Like I was rooting for Garth real, real hard and so far through the story, you never really
had a moment that really like beat him down.
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, even when, even when he's, you know, yes, I think it was like, even when he's fooling
around with cushy while he's, you know, courting Helen, it's like, okay, that's a gray area

(01:33:06):
there.
Understandable because, you know, not, not exclusive, everything like that.
Right.
It's not like they're, you know, yeah, she, you know, they're not dating, you know, sure.
It's a gray area there.
I, I've, you know, I could see this.
It's a great, it's a best thing.
It's like, this is the one, this is the one time where you can sit there and go like,
that's not a mistake.

(01:33:27):
That's not, you know, being naive.
No, actually that was a straight up deliberate bad decisions.
Well, okay.
That was a bad decision.
What happened afterward was where I saw Garth as a bad guy.
Let me explain in bed.
And then she asked, did you seduce that babysitter?
And his response like, Oh, well that just makes me mad and all this stuff.

(01:33:49):
Okay.
I can say deflecting.
Sure.
Defensive.
Sure.
She's reading Michael Milton story and smiling when talking about him while she was accusing
him of seducing somebody.
And then what does he do after he hooks up with this 18 year old babysitter?
He's like, let's go look at the kids and he just goes and stands at the kids door and

(01:34:12):
he talks about being a family man and a father and a husband.
And all he's ever wanted to be is a family man.
That to me felt like a masterclass in manipulation.
That was messed up.
And it's well, and it's interesting too, cause for two things going on here, because we got
extra layers here.

(01:34:33):
Okay.
One is that she said she's reading, she's reading Milton stuff, you know, and she's
and she suspects there's an argument could be made that she's glad that he banged the
babysitter because now she's got free license to do what she's got the green light.
Yeah.
Yep.
The second, and then the other layer is that while yes, what Garp is doing there is manipulative

(01:34:57):
and argument could also be said that he had that moment of realizing how close he came
to losing everything.
I can see that as well.
Because we also see in the following scenes, he is not even just when she's around, like
when it's just him and the kids, he is Mr. Family Man.
Like having that brush with almost getting caught and almost losing everything he's realizing

(01:35:23):
now that's I can't do that.
I can't lose that.
I am going to be Mr. Family Man now.
Yeah.
I can really see that.
Yeah, doesn't, you know, doesn't doesn't wash his hands clean at all.
But also at the same time, one could argue fuels why he's so angry when he finds out
about her affair, because he just did this whole thing to commit how great he how much

(01:35:48):
he loves being in the family.
And it's after that, after he made that that that secondary, like renew renewing of his
vows almost.
It's after that that she starts sleeping with the other guy.
And so now that it's not it's not justified, don't get me wrong.
I'm not saying that it's that makes it OK.
I'm not saying I'm not I'm not saying that that's where you were coming from.

(01:36:09):
Well, I'm thinking.
OK, I do agree with you that made it even worse where he made a bad decision.
She did.
She had a full relationship.
She was a straight up.
He made a decision.

(01:36:30):
He was half ass seduced, like in the lightest of ways.
He was not.
I mean, he's the one who opened it up by asking her how old she was in the first place.
So no, this is entirely on him.
And no, that was what sealed it sealed the deal.
It was already there was the flirting.
There was all this.
I was already starting everything like that.

(01:36:50):
That was the final thing that happened before he got over.
So no, but I mean, like she definitely was no Michael Milton.
I'm not saying that.
OK, because like he's playing with the kids and he and he and let's go playing with the
kids and Milton is and he sabotages her car, pulls a full on Jesse Waters and just stare.

(01:37:14):
You know what I'm talking about there, right?
Jesse Waters from from like Fox and Friends or the five or whatever that is.
Don't know him.
He's the slimy guy that took over Tucker Carlson.
Oh, they found someone worse than Tucker Carlson.
That's no, he tried.
I don't think he actually succeeded.

(01:37:36):
The way that he got his wife is he let the air out of her tires so she didn't have a
ride home from work and forced and like forced like basically forced the situation to make
him be the one that was there for it.
He told that story live on air.
That is like, isn't that crazy?

(01:37:59):
He didn't get fired.
He didn't get nothing like nothing like he straight up admitted to sabotaging his wife's
car so she didn't have a way to get away from him.
And he was like how and that was how they.
Yeah.
I mean, he's a Fox News guy, so I don't know why I'm shocked.
I like that things like that still do shock me.

(01:38:22):
They just they just do.
Okay.
So yeah, like you said, he pulls the full Jesse Waters and then she gets in his car
and they make this full deal.
If anybody finds out it's over, it's like, yeah, lady, but what should be over is your
marriage if anybody finds out not.
Oh, haha.
If anybody finds out this is embarrassing.

(01:38:42):
No, like like how how this deal was struck.
I did not like it felt weird, really, really weird.
And then she's like, only if only at your apartment and only if it's clean.
And then his frickin girlfriend watches him drive away with the teacher.
Yeah.

(01:39:03):
This was okay.
I'm glad this was a dumb character, but this was a dumb character.
Yep.
No, yes.
No, it's kind of interesting because he's a graduate student.
Because that means he's already he's already finished college.
And so it's like, how did this moron get into a graduate program?
Gradual student.

(01:39:24):
Right.
Right, right, right, right.
Yeah.
Because the kid mispronounced at one time.
And so now that's the family inside joke.
Now they're all now she teaches at graduate school.
And yes, I thought it was a good joke.
I did enjoy this.
Oh, what's graduate school?
Well, it's where you gradually go to find out you don't want to be there anymore.
Right.
Yeah.

(01:39:44):
Fantastic.
Well done.
Dinner with the fam and talking about writing a Christmas story, just seeing the renewed
sense of happiness on Robin Williams and the epic guilt on hurt Mary Beth hurt.

(01:40:04):
Painful scene.
Mm hmm.
Yep.
Very painful scene.
And the fact that, oh, oh, God, a second watch would be so painful on this one.
I didn't even think about knowing everything that's going to be happening and seeing the
setups even even more setups this time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because like, I never get to die.

(01:40:25):
Let me die.
Oh, yeah.
Wow.
Yeah, that that that's that's just hitting me now.
All with aunt Lethgoe and the look at the Jimmy Jamesians.
The James.

(01:40:45):
Yeah, the Ellen Jamesians.
Yes.
The Ellen Jamesians.
I want to say Jamesians, but that sounds too much like a gymnasium who continue in spite
of her disapproval, which we have talked about.
And I thought it was great discussion with Lethgoe as she's developing female intuition.
And never talks about what she has intuition about.

(01:41:09):
No, she just sort of foreshadows.
What do you think she's referencing?
I think she was I think it was I mean, like, because at that moment there was perfection.
The kids were, you know, were playing in the ocean.
Everyone was having fun.
There was harmony in the Garp household.

(01:41:31):
And I think I think Roberta was basically getting that too good to be true feeling that
this is.
Ah, OK, I can see that.
So I think I don't know if she specifically thought what was going to happen.
I think there was a part of her that just kind of went something is about to go wrong
because this kind of genuine happiness is not allowed to last.

(01:41:58):
I can I can I can get that.
I can understand that.
It's like, OK, wait, life is good.
Everything's all right.
No, there's a semi on the way through the living room right now.
Right.
Something's about to happen.
No, I understand that.
That's a good point.

(01:42:22):
Oh, God.
So yeah, Michael Milton's girlfriend shows up to rat on the fact that they that his her
boyfriend has been having an affair with Garp's wife.
And because she can't talk, be sure she's so nervous and so afraid.
Garp thinks she's an Ellen Jamesian and is like, oh, God, look, look.

(01:42:45):
And then she starts talking.
He's like, you can talk.
He's just so that was another huge chuckle.
I did not like that was a very heavy moment.
I felt bad for how hard I was laughing.
But damn right.
I forgot to mention, like probably one of the biggest laughs for me in this movie, we
actually skipped over.
I totally forgot to mention it.

(01:43:06):
And that was when the first conversation with the hooker, when when when Glenn Close is
starting to ask her, you know, like, well, how much do you charge?
And she's even like turn into Garp and she's be like, do you want to sleep with her?
I mean, like, are you into this?
And and she's all like, all right, look, no, no, no, I don't care.
Like I don't.
She and she goes like, look, whatever you want to do, your mom can't be there.

(01:43:27):
I'm still a Catholic.
OK, yeah, I forgot about that.
Oh, I never laughed so hard.
I think she's like, I'm still a Catholic, believe it or not.
Right.
No.
OK, that was that was absolutely fantastic.
Way backtracking.
But yes, that needed to be called out.
That's fair.

(01:43:48):
Fair.
So Helen comes home and finds the letter, gets a call from Garp and they're off to the
movies.
This whole like this whole scene, too, like this is like where Garp is really treading
the line and turn into a villain because he's pissed and he's taking out how pissed he is
on his kids.

(01:44:09):
He's yelling at his kids.
He's dragging them around like he like, OK, we get it.
You're pissed, buddy.
But like, stop yelling at your fucking kids like Jesus Christ.
We are trying really hard to be on your side here, but you're not making it easy, guy,
you know, because he keeps snapping at his kids like really badly.
It's a bit rougher than you would like to see.

(01:44:30):
But at the same time, if you got a dad, you've been there.
Yeah.
Or I assume if you are a dad, you've probably been there, too.
But I'm just I'm not.
So I just I just know that I have been snapped at like that.
So but I also know my personality and I'm pretty sure I've I've deserved it.

(01:44:53):
Gosh.
So she calls Milton and breaks it off and he's just on the phone.
He's crying and he's just guy.
Yeah, he's a fucking guy.
I'm on my way.
I'm coming to your house.
He's like, dude, you are looking to get shot.

(01:45:17):
That is whole scene.
The next five minutes is a parade of people making the dumbest fucking decisions they
could ever make.
Like everyone in the scene does the worst thing they could think of doing.
Like Milton, the wife Garp, both of the kids, like everyone is an epic moron.

(01:45:38):
And for this like five minute span of this movie, it's and it's yeah.
And it's it's the dominoes I was talking about before starting to fall.
And holy shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's and it's yeah.
Oh, man.
I didn't.
I got to give you that.
So Milton comes over and he brought champagne and a couple of glasses.

(01:46:01):
And I was like, what are you what are you doing?
You think was going to happen?
Oh my God.
She broke up.
She has a husband and you come over with champagne and.
Oh my God.
What is this?
Hosting your husband found out.
What the fuck are you thinking, dude?
Yeah.
And then Garp calls and there's no answer because what does he say?
It's like he doesn't say that it's going to he's ending it with his wife.

(01:46:22):
He doesn't say that it's done.
Everything like that.
What he says is it's over.
No final sexcapade or anything like that.
You know, nothing for the road.
It's done.
He leaves the movie, tries to call and no answer.
And the fury that would come with a lack of an answer at that time.

(01:46:44):
You cannot blame this man for anything that he does at that point.
I'm sorry.
That's literally why they have temporary insanity as a defense.
That's just could you oh, I could not imagine how mad I would be at that moment.
I'd probably get so mad I'd have a straight up heart attack.

(01:47:07):
Like I wouldn't even survive the drive home.
That would like no, I know myself well enough.
So that that scene.
No, that I felt that and even trying to make his children happy as they're on the way home
and because they asked to make the car fly.
Yep.
They asked for the thing that his wife told him not to do.

(01:47:30):
Turning the headlights off, turning the motor off, coasting down into the driveway and he
hits the back of the car, which by the way, we're also going to layer in the next thing.
This moron, Milton basically begs her for a one last blowjob.
No, not one last one is the thing that he's always wanted.

(01:47:52):
Oh, right.
That's right.
Yeah, right.
So she's she's got and she's like, if I do this, do you promise you'll leave?
And he's like, yes.
And of course, he's lying.
Obviously.
Oh my God.
So she's flossing with his dangle when the car accident.

(01:48:21):
We already said the word blowjob.
Why are you being coy now?
Well, because I like there are times like we will lose monetization if we go too hard.
So, you know, I might have to blip one at some point.
I haven't decided how I'm going to handle that when that comes up.
But I was a little proud of myself for coming up with flossing with his dangle.

(01:48:44):
It wasn't the worst effort.
Thank you.
Because I'm not going to say this man I'm not going to give this man the props of saying
that he has a gargantuan fella.
Yeah, no, I hear what you're saying.
Yeah.
And this is where I found it.
So Lithgow returns from the cruise that she went on to Club Med.
We skipped.

(01:49:05):
I mean, they of course, they crash into it.
So yeah, you said that.
Yeah.
We backtrack to what was going on in the car beforehand.
But yeah.
Well, yeah, he does he crashes right into the back while she is doing her thing.
And when the car hits, huh?

(01:49:29):
It's a weird cut they do with the camera.
It is an incredible cut that they did because they did a freeze frame on the child that
died and they just slowly zoomed in on that frame.
And all you could hear was crashing the horn and rain and reactions.
Yeah.
And so without saying outright, they basically just let us know, you know, in certain terms

(01:49:51):
that the youngest kid dies in this accident, even though we're not we're not showing any
gory details.
There's nothing there's no they show us without telling us, you know.
Yeah, I don't.
Yeah, it was kind of and it was kind of it was interesting how they how they went about
doing that, I thought with that with that.
I think that was like a really good way.
Like if if you had a scene that something went wrong with the car crash, the film didn't

(01:50:15):
work out quite right.
Something like that.
And you couldn't get it a second time.
I figured that was a really like that might be a really good way to do that.
Also.
No, no, no, that that's pretty much my only theory, because I mean, there's a little bit
will get shot in this movie.
So I was going to say, maybe.
But that doesn't make sense.
Of all the things that happen in this movie, of all the cinematography and stuff in this

(01:50:38):
movie that weirdly felt like, you know, a scene from like Unsolved Mysteries when they're
like they got the family photo and they're slowly zooming in to the one kid that's missing
and they're like and they were last seen, you know, as they were walking home from,
you know, it's like that's what it felt like to me as opposed to a scene from a movie.
It felt like a really cheap weekly magazine type shot, you know.

(01:50:58):
OK, OK, I can see that.
But it also the film was made when it was made.
So yeah, kind of kind of tough.
Like figure that one out, really.
So let's go return.
At least it was effective.
You're not walking away from it.
It was wondering what happened.
Yeah.
So you knew.
Let's go returns from Club Med.

(01:51:20):
And I.
I was so happy, so happy to find out that it was bitten off.
And the way that he said the way that she says it, too, is like I had mine surgically
removed, but to have it bitten off.
And I'm like, thank you for delivering that information.
Thank you for delivering it in that way.

(01:51:40):
That was fantastic.
Thank you.
This character.
Should not have a penis anymore, and I'm glad that he doesn't.
He didn't know how to use it.
He did like he used it for you.
Yep.
No, that was that was someone he got.
He got his man card taken away for a reason.
And OK, now here.

(01:52:02):
Here's where I am a hard man.
And I will admit this.
I this is not like this is not my softer side, my kinder side or like that when they're having
the piano fight because she is playing that song and he recognizes it immediately and
she kind of goes off on him like everybody.
You're not the only one hurting here.

(01:52:24):
Everybody here is hurting and I'm one of them.
Sorry, lady.
Who gives a shit about your heart?
You caused this.
I'm sorry.
I was like they're still together.
Like my brain melted at like this portion of the movie.
I was like, I'm sorry.
Like I get like this movie is about sympathy for women.

(01:52:45):
I'm kind of seeing that everything like that.
And I had none for her.
I had no idea for her.
Like her child was is dead because she had an affair.
That is 100 percent.
I don't feel bad for her at all.
The child, the brother, the husband.

(01:53:05):
That is who I feel bad for.
And well, and that's, you know, definitely probably where, you know, where most people
would go.
But I think that's kind of and this is something that I've been like figuring out over the
last week or so is that, you know, you know, grief has stages.

(01:53:27):
You know, we've talked about the stages of grief before.
They do not go in order.
They do not go through one and then you're on the next one.
Like you are back and forth hopping around all over the place.
You don't go through the phase just once most of the time.
Oh, most.
Yeah.
And and when you are whatever stage of grief that you are in, you have zero patience for

(01:53:51):
anyone who is not in the same stage of grief as you.
Like people who are in the angry phase do not have time for bargainers.
Oh, that's a good point.
Yes.
I didn't really think about that.
That is fair.
So basically, that's what we're seeing here is that, yes, there is major amounts of grief

(01:54:14):
happening in this house.
You know, for, you know, not just the tragedy, but for their partner, because it is not just
everything she did.
There's he he as far as, you know, the affair and the marriage and everything.
But there's also the fact that, yeah, he was being unreasonably angry with the kids.

(01:54:35):
He shouldn't have been dragging them around town like that, like he was.
And he shouldn't have coasted into the driveway like that.
Like he has a part in that, too.
And yes, while a lot of blame lies on her.
Okay, yes.
There are the parts that he played are accidental.
The parts that she played were all intentional.

(01:54:57):
Okay.
Yeah, that's fair.
Yes.
So that's that's where the sympathy that's where the sympathy comes from.
Right.
But at the same time, it's like, yeah, everyone here is grieving and you are looking at, you
know, and especially especially Garp, he wants to blame her for everything.
And he wants to see her suffer for it.

(01:55:19):
And then we see that in the very next scene after that, you know, after that blow up where
his mother says to him, look, I understand where you're coming from, but you're never
going to heal if you keep doing this.
Like you need to heal and you need to heal with her.
It's unfortunate.
Okay.
And that's and that's where I disagreed with the mom, where the mom was more about just

(01:55:42):
women in general than any than any point with Garp.
Once she found her cult, it was all about them.
A mother, if I had a child and I've already said I don't have any children, so I don't
have any of these perspectives or anything like that.
But if I had one and their significant other because of what they did and all that, I lost

(01:56:09):
my grandbaby and my baby cannot talk.
All these because you were fooling around on my baby, I lost my grandbaby.
I would not be going, you should forgive her.
No, I'd be like, sorry, bitch, get out of my house.
You don't get to recover here.
Like that's I am so not that kind of person that I cannot like I cannot empathize with

(01:56:36):
Jenny Fields in like after like after that, I just can't.
The fact that she lost her the fact that she lost her own grandchild and she never, never
showed any like we never got to see her show any emotion about it.
I didn't like that.

(01:56:57):
Well, that's the thing she and that was interesting about her character.
She kind of immediately went into healer mode.
She didn't deal with any of this.
She didn't deal with the affair.
She didn't deal with, you know, Garp's affair.
She didn't deal with the death of her kid.
Her entire role in that was to be the nurse, to nurse the family back to health, whether
you would agree with that or not, or consider that right or wrong.

(01:57:19):
That was the role that she put herself in.
No, I'm not saying I agree or disagree with it.
I'm just saying I can't see it.
That is very much not something that I can connect with because I was very, very attached
to what was going to happen to that family and to see how that went down.

(01:57:41):
And where, yes, if she had a moment of weakness like he had, she might have my sympathy.
She went out and targeted that stuff and then this happened.
So she doesn't get any of my sympathy.
She didn't have a moment of weakness.
She had a full on affair and stretch of it and like decision after decision after decision.

(01:58:05):
So just no.
But again, just my personal stance.
That is not an objective thing.
That is very subjective.
And it may even be, hold on, there's something I got to check something real quick here.
I could be wrong about this.
Okay.
So we know that Garp was born in 44 and that just before all this went down, he said he

(01:58:29):
was 30.
So that means this is 74.
Okay.
Divorce was legalized.
Divorce was legalized, but pretty recently, only like five years before that.
So it's still not exactly a socially taken hold, I don't think.

(01:58:50):
So it could very well be that's part of the motivation there.
It's just in this cultural milieu of this family, they're not thinking divorce is a
possibility.
And I did take that into consideration.
But yeah, I looked up that while I was watching the movie too, because I'm like, why is he
still with this bitch?
So I had that.

(01:59:11):
I had that.
Yeah.
And then Decker, oh, sorry.
So the stitches are out and he can talk and he just forgives her.
And they immediately start going into talking about wanting a replacement child, which I
didn't like that at all.
That was weird.
But as far as, okay, I see, here's the thing.

(01:59:33):
I can sympathize with what he was doing there.
Okay.
Because I've been where he's at on that.
All right.
And there comes a point where as you've processed all of it and you've gotten over the initial
anger and you've gotten over some of the initial depression and all that sort of stuff, there

(01:59:57):
comes a point where the thing you want desperately more than anything is for everything to go
back the way it was before you found out.
You literally do not give a shit about anything else.
I don't think I've ever had that.

(02:00:18):
As soon as I've ever found out about anything, to a degree of something like this, which
I've never lost a child, it's nothing like that.
But anything that has ever set me in a direction of just extraordinary, just this is too much.
No, it's been, okay.

(02:00:42):
I have a lot of life ahead of me.
You don't get to be there.
And that's fine.
Yeah.
I don't think it's a-
And that's why this is super subjective.
This is for who you are is what you're going to see something different.
You're going to feel, you're going to root for something.
That is because there is so much movie in this movie.

(02:01:05):
That's true.
There is a lot.
Yes.
And I think the journey that I saw in this was that, yeah, you saw the anger.
And then when his mom came to him and said, you have every right to be angry, but that
anger is a poison.
You need to start learning to let it go.

(02:01:25):
Once he did, we don't know exactly how much time has passed, but we do know that the cast
and the stitches all came out.
So sometimes-
We never know how much time passes in this movie.
Right.
And it's at least a few weeks at the very least.
So he's been processing what his mom told him to let go of his anger.
Now that he's let go of his anger, all he wants is what we saw before, that genuine

(02:01:48):
happiness of the family around the table, playing with the kids.
All of that stuff that was so perfect and wonderful, he literally does not give a shit
about anything else other than getting that back.
Okay.
That is very central to this character.

(02:02:09):
And I can say that because like I said, I've been there.
So I get it.
All right.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Yeah.
I just have to give you that.
Decorating for Christmas.
And I liked that Duncan was just really excited about the different kinds of glass eyes that
he could have.

(02:02:29):
I know.
And how brilliant was that idea he gave?
Oh, the snow globe one.
Yes.
And snow globe glass eye.
Yes.
Where he goes like this and it would be snowing inside his eye.
I'm like, that's genius.
That was a fantastic.
And the fact that that was not part of last action hero, very surprised.

(02:02:52):
Wrote something about attacking the Jamesians and the publisher heavily advises against
it.
And just again, fast forward, daughter is born and mom is off for politics.
I got scared when he shouted over the helicopter.
I never needed a father.
I'm like, dude, those are last words.

(02:03:15):
I'm like, what?
Something's about to happen here.
Those are straight up last words.
Yeah.
And like, yes, the second assassination attempt was successful this time.
Yep.
And then Garp finds out at the funeral, Garp finds out and at the funeral, Lithgow is
unbelievably destroyed because he sees or she sees the shooter right before it happens.

(02:03:42):
And Lithgow goes to try to save her.
And just as soon as he grabs her, she gets shot.
It was a remarkably timed shot, too, because you see Lithgow tackle her and just as his
arms hit her, the squib goes off.
And so it is literally he was a millisecond late.
And yeah, she is devastated.

(02:04:04):
She's weeping at the funeral.
Like I was this close.
I could have saved her.
And she's saying to Garp, like I would have taken the bullet for her.
And he's like, yeah, I know.
I know.
And I'm curious because like I said, you and I are both allies.
You are much more of an ally than I am.

(02:04:24):
That is just that is that is the credit that I will give you.
That is the credit you deserve.
What was your position on the feminists not letting him attend his own mother's memorial?
Oh, well, that yeah, no, that's definitely that's definitely nuts.

(02:04:46):
Yes.
Because I mean, it's like, look, I understand where you're coming from as far as like this
is a feminist memorial.
This is about honoring women.
It would not be that that out of place to let her son be there, especially if her son

(02:05:07):
except for the fact that it was, of course, it's probably the Ellen Jamesians because
he had just published that book that had taken a powder on the Ellen Jamesians.
So they probably didn't see him as an ally anymore.
They probably saw him as a traitor.
Which is weird because even Ellen James, like he was on her side, which yeah, that's what

(02:05:28):
he's from Plummer.
Amanda Plummer.
Yeah.
But that's what his book was about.
He basically wrote a book saying straight up Ellen James does not support the Ellen
Jamesians, you know, and that's what they were so mad about.
But yeah, well, and the funny thing like like I am my I remember my mother once telling

(02:05:48):
me about when she went and attended a women in technology conference back in the 70s,
you know, so we're like, you know, early days of technology, let alone women in technology.
And so she went and attended a women technology conference.
And she said when she arrived, she noticed that there were no men, there was zero men

(02:06:12):
there.
It wasn't even just a case of men not welcome.
There were just men not interested in being there.
It was 100 percent women, except, of course, me in the little baby Bjorn that she was carrying.
I was the only male in the entire building.
And so my mother literally put a name tag on me that said token male.

(02:06:34):
That is fantastic.
And now I understand why you are you.
You as a baby were carried into a sea of estrogen and it never washed off.
No.
Hey, you know what?
Here's the thing.
There are worse things on on on a serious matter.

(02:06:55):
No, no, honestly, the story the story you just told being raised by a woman like your
mother, that is that is very much I can I can see a lot of personality quirks where they
could have began.
It served me well.
What can I say?
I mean, I've lost count of a number of times that I've been invited to ladies night out

(02:07:20):
as a honorary lady along with the other ladies.
So you know, well, I mean, back when I was a bouncer, they used to invite me to because
I would go out to the bar just be me and seven women.
And it's because I was the I was a bouncer.
So yeah, so very much I had the same story, not the same reason.

(02:07:41):
Right.
Yeah, I was welcome because I was girly enough to fit in.
And I don't think that was the same reason for me.
But I don't know.
I'm from North Dakota.
I'm a little thin for them.
For them.

(02:08:01):
I'm sorry, man.
I'm just kind of straight up that's like I moved to the city and found out they're like,
oh, no, everything that you described.
No, that's the past.
That's like 60 years ago.
I'm like, no, that's 800 miles that way.
Like, no, sorry.
That's men like that still exist.
But yeah, no, it's and and as far as like this goes, yeah, it's a little it's a little

(02:08:25):
nuts to say if you're going to be honoring a woman to to not welcome her own family to
that.
Yeah, it's like I said, you are you're more of an ally with feminism than I am.
So I wasn't exactly sure where you were going to take on your take was going to be on that.
And if it was going to be pro that I was going to have some questions.

(02:08:47):
I was really going to dig in for some justifications because I could not see it.
Right.
I mean, it's one of those things where it's like considering the time, considering the
subject matter, considering the relationship he has with no small number of the of the
women that are going to be there.
I can see where that I can I can see where that claim would be made.

(02:09:11):
But I don't see it.
I don't see it.
No merit or holding up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
OK.
So all right.
Fair enough.
And then he goes in drag to his own mother's memorial.
And that is how that is his compromise.
And honestly, that is a pretty strong ass compromise because there's no way he would
be able to eulogize his mother as her only child and not be allowed to do the eulogy.

(02:09:36):
I mean, that's a pretty big sacrifice in and of itself.
So like there's that.
And then, oh, it was it was interesting, though.
I want to go back on his reasoning because that was a very powerful thing that he said
when he says, you know, I'm going to be mourning her for the rest of my life.

(02:09:57):
But for right now, I want to be around other people that are mourning her as well.
Like he wants to be at that.
That's a good.
I mean, he's right.
Yeah.
It's a room full of people who are going to be talking about her and being sad that she's
gone.
That's who he wants to be around.
Even if it is a room full of of Jamesians that hate him, he doesn't care.

(02:10:19):
He wants to be with them while they mourn his mom.
And so he yes, he's willing he's willing to go incognito, if that's what it means.
And then who sees him and then loses her mind?
And then we find out that she has become an Ellen Jamesian, cut her own tongue off and
goes up, rips his disguise off and just or or trying to like and start to ride on him.

(02:10:46):
Yeah, does.
And then everybody starts attacking him and then let's go and we find out Amanda Plummer
as was how awesome was that bit on Lithgow when he's full on body checking these women
that are trying to attack Robin Williams and we and we watch Roberta just literally just
bring because she's a former football player.

(02:11:08):
And so she footballs all of them.
And even and yeah, the last one just decks one of them straight on.
Like she she failed protecting his mom.
She ain't going to fail protecting him.
Oh, God damn.
That is.
Yep.
You are 100 percent.
She took that like serious and that right at the end, like ready to go.
Absolutely.
And then the Ellen Jamesians who like after they do Ellen James, like Amanda Plummer as

(02:11:34):
Ellen James helps him escape and thanks him with a kiss on the cheek.
And the whole is like you're an Ellen Jamesian.
I get it.
I get it.
She's like, no, no, no.
I'm she's pointing to her name on the cover of the book.
And I'm sorry, man, but I started bawling at that moment straight up bawling.

(02:11:55):
Like it's like every once in a while, some of these movies that you have put on me, like,
yeah, they fuck pretty much all of them.
They can cry, dick.
But there's been like two or three of them that have actually gotten me sobbing.
This one got me sobbing.
This was wow, like a very, very powerful moment.

(02:12:18):
Go ahead.
I don't remember what comes next.
Oh, so they're going over the kids classes because he's decided to return back to their
hometown and become a teacher.
And he takes over the wrestling classes.
Now, this is the part that I do not understand.

(02:12:40):
He says he'll return to writing if he wants and all that.
The part that I get, I get that.
Sure.
Like he's trying to focus on his family, do some things and just live in that world.
Right.
Why did Poo shoot and kill him?
There can be any number of reasons.

(02:13:00):
Like just because he sucks.
Yeah, we don't know enough about Poo.
That's the interesting thing about Poo is that she is a through line in this entire
story and we don't know her story.
We only see her in the background, kind of.
We don't know if it's because she was in love with him when they were kids and he spurned

(02:13:21):
her for her sister.
And that just made her angry.
On top of the fact that she became an Ellen Jamesian and then he shed on the alien Jamesians
and then top that off.
He had the audacity.
Oh, that's okay.
Okay.
That's why she became an Ellen Jamesian.
He wrote the entire book slamming them and all this stuff.

(02:13:44):
Okay.
That actually does explain it.
Because literally it's like, dude, she literally just trolled his whole life until she ended
it.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And even down to the fact that when she outs him at the funeral and he gets away, she may
just still be pissed about that.
You know?
Yeah.

(02:14:05):
So she's decided early on in her life, for whatever reason it was to begin with, that
Garp needs to suffer.
And for her whole life, he was never suffering enough.
And now she snaps and just walks into his school and shoots him right there.
Yeah.
She literally jumps down the throat and attacks a guy who lost his child, lost his mother,

(02:14:26):
like all this stuff.
And as far as we can tell, she comes from a healthy family, mostly-ish for the 50s.
And yeah, no, she has a non-broken home.
They come from money.
She has the ability to do apparently whatever the hell she wants.
Because you can't imagine, you got to imagine that most Ellen Jamesians don't have jobs.

(02:14:51):
Probably.
Yeah.
So you got to imagine they're just kind of doing whatever they want to do.
It's probably why they were all living at Garp's mom's house is because that was the
only place they could afford.
I can honestly, I could honestly see that.
But they're in the helicopter because apparently after all those shots and all that, he still
didn't die.

(02:15:12):
But he's on the way to the helicopter and he looks out the window and he says, I'm finally
flying.
Ouch.
And then roll credits.
So thin.
We can pretty much assume that he didn't even make it to the hospital the way that was done.
Was an epically beautiful movie.

(02:15:34):
Yeah.
And this week we are going to be covering part two because last week we really tried
to go through, but we wound up covering the like spilling the entire time, all three plus
hours just talking about Garp.
So we split it up, hopefully first time last time where we're going to be splitting the
episode up.

(02:15:54):
But this is season two, episode seven, part two and Garp versus the legend of drunken
master.
Also known as drunken master two.
True.
I mean, I mean, come on, man.
It's got a Mandarin title.
It's got a Chinese title.
It's got a numbing.
No, this is like this movie is known by quite a few things.

(02:16:15):
I think it's like Lai Ken or like when or shouldn't even try.
I should.
I honestly shouldn't even try and going through the cast and crew on this one is probably
going to be a little bit insensitive, but I'm giving it my best shot.
Go for it, man.
All right.
So the legend of drunken master directed by Chia Liang Liu and Jackie Chan.

(02:16:40):
The film credits Lao Kha Leung, which like I said, you have the actor's names in Mandarin
and you have the actor's names in Cantonese.
So it does get a little bit confusing.
Written by Edward Tang, Man Ming Tong and Kai Qi Yuan.
Or is that Wen?

(02:17:02):
Wow.
This was a mistake.
Starring Jackie Chan, Leung T and Anita Mui with Carlock Chin, Felix Wong.
I can say that one and Ho Sung Pak.
Anita Mui, if I'm saying that correctly, and I kind of doubt it.

(02:17:26):
She passed not in like the very early 2000s and every once in a while you kind of see
like an actor who passed young, Brittany Murphy, for example, probably would have gone on to
do tremendous things.
Anita Mui.
Oh my God.
She was amazing.

(02:17:46):
Her martial arts, her comedic timing, everything about her was absolutely fantastic.
By all rights, she basically was a female Jackie Chan.
It's kind of shocking she never got her own star in that regard.
And I think probably her passing.
I think it just didn't happen.
Like if she would have survived, she would be like Michelle Yao.

(02:18:08):
Exactly.
Yeah.
I mean, that's the thing is like same thing with Michelle Yeoh.
She was another female Jackie Chan and she managed to, you know, yeah, break through
the ceiling and get her own name out there and stuff like that.
Anita Mui probably would have done the same if she hadn't passed away.
Yeah, for sure.
Oh my God.
She was tremendously talented.
Real quick on this one.

(02:18:29):
I already kind of discussed that anyway.
The director, Chia Liang Liu, left the project to go make another drunken boxing movie due
to creative differences with Jackie.
And Jackie basically, Jackie did direct the final fight of this film.
That was all Jackie because the director left because he couldn't handle working with Jackie.

(02:18:52):
Huh, okay.
I could see that.
But that's the thing.
Like Jackie does not like working on Western films because it's always about the money.
Get it, get it, get it, get it, move on, move on, move on.
Yeah.
Jackie Chan's movies, they take 200 takes sometimes to get that shot.
Yeah.
That's the thing that's kind of always amazing because people, when they talk about directors

(02:19:15):
like, oh, I'm blanking on names all day today.
Hey man, we all have those days.
We just do.
Yeah.
The Shining.
Kubrick.
Barry Lyndon.
Kubrick, thank you.
Jesus.
How embarrassing is that to forget Stanley Kubrick's name?
That one is a little off.

(02:19:35):
Yeah.
That was one of those things about Kubrick is like, Kubrick famously has to do hundreds,
a hundred plus takes of every scene and is a nightmare to work with because everyone's
like, we got it, man.
It's perfect.
And he's like, no, do it one more time.
And people have big stars like Jennifer Jason Lee have quit halfway through Kubrick movies

(02:19:58):
because he's impossible to work with.
That's what Shelley Duvall.
Jackie Chan is apparently Shelley Duvall when she ended up in a sanitarium because of him.
Yeah, exactly.
Yep.
Yeah.
But that's the thing is like Jackie Chan is essentially the Chinese Kubrick.
No one gives him any shit about it because his movies are that fucking amazing.

(02:20:20):
Well, I imagine that people do give him shit.
I mean, like literally, like this director left the movie because Jackie wasn't happy
with his takes.
It does happen, but because he's Chinese and I'm guessing all that stuff kind of comes
out there.
Like in America, people still have conspiracy theories over how Bruce Lee died.

(02:20:40):
And like when you watch an interview with Jackie Chan, they're like, no, that's not
how everybody knows.
Like, what are you talking about?
Like, that's just Americans like trying to throw mystery into the land of China.
Like, that's all that they really is all that is.
But although there are conspiracies about the death of Kubrick as well.

(02:21:02):
I'm sure, man, there's conspiracies about everything.
Yeah.
I, and like you said, like Robert Funches, that's his name, right?
Ron Funches?
Ron Funches.
Sorry, excuse me.
Oh, right.
Yes.
No, yeah.
If you believe in every conspiracy, there's something a little bit wrong with you, but

(02:21:23):
you don't believe none?
Right.
Yes.
I mean, come on, you think the government's batting a thousand?
Exactly.
Yeah, no, he, you have to be reasonable with this stuff.
And that's where, like, what is Ron Funches doing right now?
I just realized there's a serious lack of Funches in my life.
What show was he on now?
I'm going to go watch it.

(02:21:43):
I don't think I've seen.
Yeah, because like, I know he's in, he's in Harley Quinn.
He does The Voice of King Shark and Harley Quinn, and that's awesome.
But as far as like actually seeing him, I haven't seen him since that powerless show
that he was on.
And I feel like, I feel like I'm jonesing for some Funches now, now that you brought
him up.
I mean, he kind of comedically nails it every time.

(02:22:06):
So I can see that.
So good.
All right.
Getting into The Legend of Drunken Master.
Or Drunken Master 2, however you want to.
I don't like, I'm going to run out of the ability to tag this just on the different
names of a frigging movie, man.
Or you'll have more tags than any other video we've ever had.

(02:22:28):
There might be that.
All right.
So the the film opens on Jackie Chan, his father and their assistant on a train station
and they're trying to hide ginseng to avoid taxes and then only to have it be mistakenly
switched with a stolen artifact.
I love that.
It's like, I could hide it in my trousers.

(02:22:50):
And then he says, we can put it on the master and he can look like he has an adult diaper.
I'm sorry, man.
How goofy this movie is.
And we talked about this before.
Like if we were able to watch Secret Ballad in Iranian and actually understand Iranian,
might be way better of a movie.

(02:23:12):
There's probably a lot of wordplay going on that we are just not privy to because it's
in a different language.
So were you able to find the original Chinese with subtitles or how did that work?
Yes.
Yes.
No, yeah.
You know, I got it in Chinese with with English subtitles.
Very, very cheap ass version.

(02:23:32):
It looked like it had been subtitled before they had like invented the border around the
the closed captioning.
Kinda yeah.
I mean, it didn't have the sound effects listed in it, but it was like nowadays they're good
with the captions because they'll put like a little black, it's like white letters, a
little black border so that if something on the screen is white, you don't lose the letters.

(02:23:55):
Did not have this in the version that I had in the version I had.
Occasionally I would miss some words because the background is also white.
So that is why I've seen plenty of movies like that.
We're watching the subtitles.
Yeah, no, I get that.
I hate that always.
This is the first look at the English console and then everybody's just kind of like busting

(02:24:17):
through like, how come they don't have to pay taxes?
Well, if you become a console, then you won't have to pay taxes either.
Oh, is that all I have to do?
Just how cheeky Jackie Chan always is in all of his movies.
Perfect.
I love it every time.
And it's interesting too, because all of this is very like comedic tongue in cheek setup

(02:24:42):
to what is eventually going to become some very, very biting commentary about the British
occupation of child's territories.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, I'm sorry, but I mean, like the point that he makes in this movie is like,
and you know, if we're not careful, careful, our children will have to go to Britain to

(02:25:04):
learn about our culture.
And I'm sitting there going, Ooh, that happened.
Yeah.
That still happened.
That is what happened.
Ouch.
Well, I mean, keeping in mind, Hong Kong was a British territory until 1997.
And I don't know if this is supposed to take place in a Hong Kong territory or just like
another Chinese territory.
I don't know how much of the Britain held, how much of China Britain held before they

(02:25:29):
actually just hold on Hong Kong until recently.
I don't know, but this movie was released in 1994.
So this was made about four years before that separation.
So and that's the thing, like this movie is talking about like our Chinese culture has
to stay in China, all of these things.

(02:25:50):
Right.
The anti-immigration, like some xenophobia and stuff like that.
However, in this film, very righteous.
Right, exactly.
Yeah.
Very deserved kind of xenophobia, which is a weird, I'm sorry, that is a weird word for
me to try to get out tonight.
I don't know what's going on with that one.

(02:26:10):
Hey, you can't get names.
I'm struggling with just basic communication.
It's gonna be a fun episode.
It must be a full moon.
I don't, I haven't actually looked out the window.
I don't know.
I don't even know if I could see it.
And they finally let all of the regular people kind of bust through the gates, come down,

(02:26:30):
they let them in, watching everybody bust through the windows of that train to find
their seats.
I know, right?
Like that's, that's one of those things that's always kind of like whenever I see and it's
like in true in China and I see it in like India and Middle Eastern countries and stuff.
When you see these trains that are so heavily packed and you've got people riding on top,

(02:26:57):
you've got people hanging on the side as it's going.
Oh, you're talking like videos of like the people who work at the train station, like
shoving people through the doors to like make sure that they get it.
Yeah.
So like these things stress me the fuck out every time I see them.
You lived in China for a little bit.
Like is that, don't you have experiences like that?
I never went anywhere near a train.
Never went anywhere near a train.

(02:27:17):
I rode the, I rode the bus everywhere.
How long were you in China?
Two years.
You never even tried the train?
Like nothing?
No.
I would have, I would have tried to go for an experience.
I definitely would have taken all of my money and everything and left it at home and all
that.
Like I would have prepared and planned to be a pickpocketed, but I still would have,

(02:27:38):
I mean, it's an experience.
I would have gone for it.
Somebody tries to pickpocket the dad and then just honestly like expert catches him, busts
him, chops him up a little bit.
But then the ego driven son, Jackie Chan just goes chasing him down and gets called back.

(02:27:58):
I like the lesson that his dad gave him.
Like what have I told you about chasing the local or chasing local thieves?
The local man always has the advantage.
Right.
Exactly.
I thought it was cool.
I thought it was weird that they only cast somebody eight years older than Jackie Chan
to play his dad.
I thought that was cool.
Yeah.

(02:28:18):
Yeah.
It's a, there was a lot of, it was interesting.
Even when, even as the movie progresses and the father becomes a little bit more antagonistic,
there's never not any wisdom behind anything that he does.
That's the interesting thing about his character.
Oh no, I mean, he is a master.
He has some goof moments, which I really appreciate.
But his goof moments come from the fact that he is surrounded by just legendary comedy.

(02:28:44):
Yep.
Could you, I mean, I'm sorry.
Like I could see two things happening.
Having a family like that and either laughing my ass off all the time or being so annoyed
that I'm about to lose my mind.
You're in a constant state of about to lose your shit.
Because can my son, the wily fucking coyote, please just chill out for one day?

(02:29:10):
Yep.
Yes.
Like that is, I could see it going both ways.
No matter what, it would be entertaining to be the buddy of that guy though.
Right.
No, sure.
Yeah, for sure.
Oh my God, that would be.
And let me ask you this question.
When Jackie Chan is like cheating at Shoji and he's like, look dad, giant beaver.
And his dad's like, I've seen lots of them.

(02:29:32):
What joke do you think that was?
I can't even begin to imagine.
Like I said, probably something lost in translation.
There's probably probably would have been more obvious if we, you know, we spoke Chinese.
I think it was pretty obvious.

(02:29:52):
I honestly, I watched it.
I was like, did they just, did they just make that joke?
Outstanding.
Because I never would have caught that when I was a kid.
Clearly I didn't.
Probably.
No, that's true.
That's a very good point.
Yeah.
Probably would have thought, like, no, yeah, beavers and they're all over China.
Yeah, I wouldn't have.
Nope.

(02:30:12):
Would not have caught that joke.
But then we go to the marketplace incident and Jackie goes to retrieve the, oh wait,
no, no, no.
On the.
Take your time.
Take your time.
So Jackie Chan goes to retrieve the ginseng because he switched it and he wound up with
what we'll find out is an emperor's jade seal.
I don't know which emperor.
I don't remember if they actually said.

(02:30:35):
They do.
In fact, I think they make a point to basically say like, it doesn't matter just by the very
nature of the fact that it is an emperor's jade seal is what makes it important.
It is a historical relic one way or another.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Fair enough.
The scene where they go to release the ducks into the rich people's cabin and then they
just come up.
There's a whole thing of ducks in their hands and I.

(02:30:59):
I wanted one of those ducks to just snap it, Jackie, just because I wanted to see a Jackie
Chan reaction to having a duck go after him.
So I'm a little sad that didn't happen, but did you see the final shot of that?
The very final frame.
The very fine when like the ducks are like literally like flying at people, right?

(02:31:19):
Yeah.
Like they like the people in that car were straight up accosted by those ducks.
Did you notice when they cut though?
No.
A duck flew right into a flaming bowl and that was when they cut the scene.
Oh my God.
You have to go back and watch that and see like it's a little messed up.
I'm not going to lie.
I'm sorry.

(02:31:39):
Pete is going to come after me, but that was oh my God.
Like as soon as I saw it, I was like, wait a minute, did that just backed it up?
Did roasted duck?
Wow.
I thought that was hilarious.
But I could understand why they cut at that moment, but I kind of want to know what happened
after that.

(02:32:03):
Because no matter how messed up, they had a flaming duck flying around set.
At least for a second anyway, yeah.
I imagine.
So, like I said, it doesn't really matter how messed up that is.
Because it is.
Because yeah, there's just like there is no stuntman like Union protecting the lives of

(02:32:26):
the stuntmen in China.
And that's one of the reasons why these movies are so hardcore.
But they also don't have an ASPCA.
There's no one making sure no animals were harmed in the making of this film.
No, no, no.
All bets are off when these movies.
I have a note later on, apart from later on.
That bamboo fight scene in the restaurant, I would not have wanted to be a stuntman there.

(02:32:51):
No, no, that was terrifying.
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely terrifying scene.
And that's just like in very, very cool, very awesome, like stunning fight choreography.
I imagine about a dozen of those guys got seriously injured.
Probably.
Yeah, no, that was genuine threats to life going on in that scene.

(02:33:12):
Yes, for sure.
That was rough.
The impressive display of drunken boxing against the director, because that was the director
of the film.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, the guy who played Fu Wen.
Yeah, the master.
Yeah, that was the director.
Interesting.
Okay.
Yeah, so I was like, dude, the guy definitely knows his stuff.

(02:33:33):
So that's the guy you want.
Right.
And he did a very good job for the entirety of the movie.
And I'm not disappointed with the final fight sequence at all.
It doesn't even break from the directing style of the entire film.
No, it all comes off pretty seamlessly.
Yeah.
So that's that I was very impressed by that.

(02:33:56):
So the under the train starts off with just Jackie versus a spear, then a sword versus
a spear, escaping through the steam and then Jackie demanding the apology.
He's like, you called me a traitor.
You thought I was somebody else.
I want you to say you're sorry.
And then like he gets the apology.
He's like, I don't think you mean it.
No, he's just out looking for a fight.

(02:34:17):
No, yeah.
No, it's made very clear.
This kid's clearly got issues.
He's trying to prove something to somebody.
He's in a constant state of...
Jackie Chan is older than me in this movie.
But he's the kid in this.
That's the thing.
I know.

(02:34:37):
Watching this movie, it feels like watching like community theater or literally high school
theater because everybody is the same age and they're playing mom, dad, stepmom, like
all this stuff.
Right.
Yeah.
I got I couldn't stop laughing about that the entire time.
I'm sorry.
Go ahead.
Well, no, I'm just I was just thinking how it was like, yeah, like this this kid's got

(02:34:58):
something to prove like constantly.
The movie starts with like sneaking, having trying to sneak the ginseng past the the customs
in order to not have to pay the tariff on it, basically.
There's no reason to do that.
Like there's zero reason.
He has the money.
His dad can afford it.
His dad's just going to turn around and sell the stuff right to another customer.

(02:35:22):
He's probably already factored in the price of the tariff to that to the price of selling
to this other townsman.
There's literally he's only doing it because he feels like he has something to prove.
I see that.
And then and then when the you know, the other guy steals it, thinking it's the it's the
artifact, he manages to get it back, but then still chases the guy down to get an apology

(02:35:47):
from him about the about, you know, you called you dare to call me a traitor like, dude,
you're going to miss your fucking train.
Oh, yeah.
And he almost does like the.
Yeah.
But this is the first hint that Jack Lee only knows how to use drunken boxing for defense
because he like keeps pushing himself back and he like holds himself in that position

(02:36:07):
and he's like, come on, attack me.
And the master's like.
No.
Like, clearly, that's your strong suit.
Why would I do that?
No, no, no.
You come over here, you're ass kicked.
Right.
No, I thought that was a really clever way to end that scene.
And then also with like Jackie trying to like run off and catch it.

(02:36:28):
But that when he gets on the train, they kind of sit there and look at each other and realize
or they don't look at each other.
They look at what they have and realize that they don't have the right items.
Right.
Yeah.
Good classic.
Master got away.
Master got away with the ginseng and Jackie got away with the jade seal.
And yeah.
But you've got to admit it like.
The fact that Jackie Chan is playing like an impetuous child in this film and the first

(02:36:53):
fight that he loses is because he didn't pick up his toys, basically.
I thought like if I thought that was a fantastic choice to kind of like show the situational
awareness of Jackie versus this other master.
Right.
Yeah.
I thought that was done very, very well.
He almost misses the train, the ginseng mix up and when they go searching for the people

(02:37:18):
and Jackie panics because he finds the seal and then he gets saved by that military intelligence
officer.
Yeah.
The military and that guy is interesting because his motivation is kind of weird right from
the get go.
And I'm going to take a shot in the dark here because he first notices Jackie like with

(02:37:39):
the pickpocket bit, you know, sees him try to go after the pickpocket.
And then he's also watching him, sees him cheat at Shogi, his dad at Shogi.
And then when they notice the jade seal is stolen and now they're turning over the train
and they're like everybody empty out all your luggage and all this.
He steps forward and is like, hey, I know these people.

(02:38:00):
You can leave them alone.
Like what's his motivation?
And all that in line, I'm going to say that I'm pretty sure that this agent just straight
up had a crush on Jackie and just wanted to impress him.
Be like, don't worry, guy, I got this.
You don't need to check their luggage at all.
Here's my badge.
I'm intelligence.

(02:38:20):
You can leave my friend here alone.
Wow, wow.
No.
You didn't see any of that.
Really?
Honestly, the English consulate was going through looking for the thing that they were
trying to smuggle out and the counter intelligence officer realized what was like where it was

(02:38:44):
and when no, no, it ain't there.
I don't think he did.
I honestly think he was just like, I don't think you saw it.
I think he had to have because that was the like what you were just talking about when
he first saw Jackie Chan.
Like when he first met him that or when he when we first get eyes on the counter intelligence

(02:39:05):
officer, he's looking at Jackie watching him switch the ginseng with the Jade.
That's the first.
Oh, I missed that.
That's the first look that we get him.
He looks through and he smiles at and he smiles and he's like, nice, like kind of type deal.
So he knows that the J.
I miss that with him and the English consulate is looking for it.
He literally went through and stopped them from finding it.

(02:39:30):
OK, I missed that first interaction.
I thought his first interaction was with the pit was watching him with the pickpocket.
OK, but we do get our quick look at the English discussing the seal of the emperor talking
about like all the power that comes with it, the importance of it.
And it's just a real quick scene to kind of explain that and give us a little bit of information

(02:39:53):
on the steelworkers.
It's like, yeah, we have steelworkers that are working as much as they have.
They've been lured there by free room and board.
But now they're like, nope, you're going to keep working and we're not going to pay you
any extra.
And they understandably go into a protest that probably would have turned into a riot.

(02:40:14):
But the others kind of made it become one before they had a chance to.
Right, yeah.
So the guys, the union busters they sent also happened to be Kung Fu masters.
And so they broke up that protest pretty quickly.
Yeah.
But I got to say, one of my absolute favorite, because I watched it a few times, and the

(02:40:38):
best, the mom playing mahjong.
Oh, praying to the idol and like in front of the shrine and all that and then turns
around and then she hammers and then she wins at mahjong.
Everything.
Jackie Chan coming through the door and just constantly ratting her out nonstop.
And she's like, you need to shut up.
Yep.

(02:40:58):
Also that.
Yeah.
And that whole that whole routine of like her and her friends like pretending to be
sick.
Like we're playing mahjong.
I'm caring for my friends.
And it's it was almost like and I know we draw this.
Yeah.
And it just kind of like almost like like people try to draw this through line between
like martial arts movies and like Broadway dance musicals and stuff like that.

(02:41:21):
It is most apparent right there in that scene.
Because when she's when she's like jumping around, like grabbing the evidence out of
the air and doing like full acrobatic stuff and then immediately dropping right into just
made, you know, the contest suppose perfect contest suppose right there.
It's like this is musical theater right here.

(02:41:42):
You can see it.
Oh, very much.
But and but the comedy that comes out of that, the doctor comes home and he's like, all right,
who's first?
And she's like, oh, it's fine.
They only have cramps.
Right.
Oh, my God.
Because even because even even the town doctor doesn't want to hear about woman problems.
Oh, too far.
I mean, it was just well, I mean, she says she's like, oh, my God.

(02:42:04):
All they need is a healing touch.
And that's what you say I have.
Oh, OK.
Yeah, yeah.
So that I was oh, it was killing me.
But then moves like the wind to hide the gambling because when they like Jackie Chan picks up
those chips and just like that whole little effect that they give on that loved it.

(02:42:25):
Then they realized the ginseng is gone.
And I think it's Mr. Wong, maybe Mr. Wang.
I don't know.
But the servant, right?
No, no, the servant's name is Cho.
So oh, right.
No, it was the guy who's buying the ginseng.
Yeah, the patient shows up to get the ginseng because, you know, needs it.

(02:42:46):
Right.
Then, oh, my God, the mom coming out like she doesn't know what ginseng looks like,
comes out, grabs a giant radish like, is it this?
Jack's like, no.
And I don't understand.
Maybe this is a Chinese cultural thing.
I don't know, maybe Chinese Hollywood dropping to the ground and grabbing your earlobes.
What is that?

(02:43:07):
Yeah, no, I don't know.
I've seen it in a lot of movies, too.
I'm not 100% sure either.
OK, all right.
I don't I'm not going to throw conjecture.
So yeah, I'm going to go with some sort of cultural thing.
Yeah, that's that's my guess.
And then just they bank on blaming like no matter what it's like, OK, just just blame
Cho.
Like you got like doesn't matter what's going to happen.

(02:43:30):
You'll be fine.
Just blame Cho.
Right.
I had a lot of fun with that.
The stepmom has no clue what.
No, no one has any clue.
Yeah, no one has any clue what ginseng looks like apparently in this family, except for
the dad, the dad, the doctor, like Jackie doesn't know what ginseng looks like.

(02:43:52):
Mom doesn't know what ginseng looks like.
Cho, the servant doesn't know what ginseng looks like.
The guy buying the ginseng doesn't know what ginseng looks like.
Well, Jackie, what somebody does, they grab that bonsai root and they do their best.
And it does kind of look like ginseng.
OK, yeah.
Do you mean if they do close enough?
I've been oh my God, Jackie coming through, be like, you need to keep it close to your

(02:44:14):
heart.
It likes to be nice, warm and close to your heart.
The dad was like the only straight man in this movie.
Everybody else was the goofball.
Right.
But it worked.
It worked really well having it go that way.
Yeah.
And I like the way that the scene ends like, maybe you won't die.

(02:44:36):
And Jackie's like, maybe, maybe you won't be fatal.
Yeah, just knock on wood.
Just brush it off.
You might not die.
I don't know.
But yeah, we were talking about the steelworkers and the grim reality of workers being exploited
for overtime and our first look at Chekhov's alcohol.
Yeah, it was a very, very good.

(02:44:57):
It was a very clever inclusion to have it go down that way.
Yep.
And it starts very peaceful.
Throw some alcohol on the fire to kick up the flames.
And apparently it is very, very potent alcohol because those flames went up pretty good.
Oh, yeah.
You got to get that.
Well, that's the thing that I've always found impressive.
And not just in this movie, but in a lot of Jackie Chan movies about how when it comes

(02:45:19):
to stuff like that, and we see it later on in the bamboo fight as well, how the exposition
to let you know what is dangerous is very minimal.
It is the absolute minimal of what you need to know to know what is dangerous.
And that's kind of one of those subtle arts of Jackie Chan movies that I have always been

(02:45:41):
impressed by.
Aaron, that's one of them.
There's about a million things about every Jackie Chan movie that absolutely impresses
me and always has, always will.
And the older I get and the less capable I get, I'm going to find it even better.
I'm going to love it even more.
I know it.

(02:46:03):
So a new form and new working rules, which we talked about, and that breaks out into
a brawl.
And that scene pretty much ends and sums up with them walking out of the steelworker to
find that the Kung Fu school next door is practicing and they're like, I want them gone.
Right.

(02:46:23):
Yeah.
This this this British consulate guy for some reason is just unbelievably annoyed that there
are martial arts people practicing next door to him for some reason.
He doesn't like the noise of their of them or something like, yeah, he's just like, no,
no, yeah, straight straight up.

(02:46:44):
Yeah.
He's just kind of mean about everything.
The weird thing is, he never got his in the whole movie.
No, he really didn't.
Yeah.
That he kind of he kind of vanished.
You just sort of left town and never.
Yeah.
No one ever said anything about it.
Like, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
That's that probably wouldn't happen in the in the Americanized version if they did.

(02:47:07):
Probably.
Yeah.
Well, no, I mean, because I mean, a lot of like, well, I don't want to say they do, but
they they do succeed, but they do try to wrap up most things.
And yeah, well, and that might be kind of like kind of the point to it, because the
the main villain villain of this of this movie isn't the British consulate, the British consulate,

(02:47:31):
they're just run of the mill assholes that everyone expects British people to be.
Who do you think the main bad main villain is?
The Chinese national who is working for him and is and is exploiting his own people on
behalf of the British.
OK, I thought you were going to take it to a different standpoint, like, like, because
like the real villain of this movie is either immigration.

(02:47:56):
Or it's alcoholism.
That's where I thought you were going.
I thought I thought you were taking like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
it's the it's the guy who's basically betraying his own people.
That's the real video.
The guy the guy who is willfully exploiting his own people on behalf of the British oppressors.

(02:48:18):
That guy is the real villain.
OK, I will give you that.
I love that.
OK, I love the market showcase.
When Jackie Chan goes to the market to pick up some fish or whatever, and he winds up
getting challenged by saying he sang, how do I say that?
Sang.

(02:48:39):
Oh, yeah.
I don't know.
Challenges Jan because he's jealous of funds, admiration of his skills.
And yeah, that was a great scene.
Yeah.
And you just kind of felt sorry for this guy, too, because he's sitting there like she couldn't
be more obvious where he's like, you know, he can tell she's in.
She's she's being very physical in her work.

(02:49:01):
She's clearly got skills.
And he's like, hey, I could teach you some, you know, some real kung fu.
And she's like, yep, no, thanks.
Don't care.
And then as soon as Jackie walks in, she's like, hey, Jackie, you can teach me drunken
boxing.
And this guy's like, oh, man.
I know I felt bad for the guy.
I did.
Right.
Yeah.
But you know what?
Don't compete with Jackie.
No, I mean, that's a pretty life lesson right there.

(02:49:24):
Yeah.
No, I mean, the what I really loved about this is just the subtlety in it.
Never said.
But Jackie Chan, like he goes from like that drunken boxing, like the finger thing and
then like right to the right one, because he's not allowed to do that in public.
His dad has forbidden it.
So we see like this epic struggle that Jackie Chan is having with knowing he has all the

(02:49:49):
skill in the world to completely tank this fight, but knowing that he has to show that
restraint to respect his father's wishes.
Right.
Never.
And I mean, for whatever reason, and this can be, you know, this is true for everybody.
You know, some styles of martial arts work better for you than others.
You know, there is no one martial art that is the absolute best.

(02:50:12):
It depends on your body type.
It depends on your own physical skill set.
And for whatever reason, Jackie's character.
How long did you do martial arts?
For like 10 years.
For 10 years.
OK.
Yeah.
And, you know, I had a few friends that all practice different stuff, too.
So, you know, I've been familiar with, you know, a lot of different things.
I had friends that, you know, did judo.

(02:50:34):
I had friends that did some kung fu.
And it was very much like your body type does dictate which ones you're going to be good
at, honestly.
And yeah, so for whatever reason, Jackie's character feels way more comfortable in drunken
boxing and feels more confident and is better at fighting in drunken boxing than kung fu

(02:50:56):
but his father has decided no, drunken boxing is offensive.
You're going to do kung fu and that's it.
I love the explanation that his dad actually tosses into why he's against drunken boxing.
But that does come a little later and we will get into that.
But we cut from there.
I mean, obviously this fight at the marketplace, Jackie Chan is going to win it.

(02:51:17):
He gets his free food.
He's honorable.
He's a nice guy.
Right.
Fantastic.
Like the chick loves him for it, for being a stand up guy.
And even the guy who's challenging him can't be mad at him because he's like, has a fair
fight, you know.
Fair fight.
I definitely, because that was the thing.
Like Jackie kept trying to like hide the fact that he won the fight over and over again.

(02:51:38):
Like he got the guy like here and he's like, ooh, and then he let go to let the fight keep
going.
And just by the end of that, man, how just utterly defeated Sang must have felt.
Like I didn't just get beat once, man.
I got beat like seven times.
That had to.
And the fact that he's not even reveling in that means on top of it, this motherfucker

(02:52:03):
pities me.
Yep.
That would sting a little bit.
Got to give him that.
Yeah.
Then we cut from here right over to the family dinner and the underlying tension as the family
is discussing like Jackie's future.
And the mom's like, well, you know, we'll have like, he's lonely.
I mean, maybe we should have a little boy or a little girl, a sibling or something like

(02:52:25):
that, which I'm like, guys, Jackie's 40.
He has a grandchild at this point.
This was.
Although in this whole thing, though, I do, you got to appreciate that at the very, very
least they managed to cover it just a little by making sure they point out that she's not

(02:52:47):
his mom.
She's his stepmom.
So it's not that weird that she's actually younger than him.
So happy that you said not that weird because you know who his mom is, right?
No, her sister.
I did not catch that.
Oh, it is such a subtle moment.
So later in the film when she is praying to his ex-wife and Jackie's real mom about for

(02:53:13):
guidance and all that, and she's like, for our husband, dear sister, because she calls
the man our husband and she's talking to her sister.
Well, okay.
See, I do remember that line.
I took that as like a relation thing that is, if you're married to the same guy, that

(02:53:36):
technically makes you sisters, not like that they were actual sisters before they were
married.
I'm going, I'm not diving in and creating anything.
I'm going right with the obvious thing because that knew I mean, because of this, this ain't
real.
You know, they did that for you.
Like probably no, actually, you know, you got a point there.

(02:53:58):
Yes.
If they were going to, if they were going to do like a comedy line and throwing in the
like, oh yeah, he married the baby sister.
Then yeah, for sure.
No.
That's not intentional.
That's why, that's why I'm going to, I'm going to double down on mine on that one.
Okay.
All right.
I'll go with you there on that.
The Ling's like unbelievable comedy to keep the peace was just, I loved it.
Just trying to hawk the jewelry.

(02:54:19):
And then when the like, and I liked it, I liked this, this moment where like all the
bros are trying to like comfort the master, like, Hey man, it's not that bad.
It's like we fall in hard times.
You don't have to tell us.
And he's like, I literally have no idea what's going on.
I'm fine.
Right.
Yeah.
And the mom plays it so well.

(02:54:41):
It was, Oh, I loved it so much.
It was too good.
The restaurant brawl though, the very first one.
And again, Anita Mui.
Oh my God.
Her comedy, the fact that this hasn't been gift yet or turned into a meme or something
where she's like, Robert, Robert, like this whole thing.

(02:55:01):
Oh my God.
That should, I don't know.
I don't know how that's not my screen saver.
If I still had a screen saver, but that is that.
Oh my God.
That was, that had to be one of the absolute most diabolically hilarious moments of this
film.
No, it was, it was brilliant.
That whole like the, the, the comedy routine of her selling the jewelry all the way up

(02:55:24):
to when the fight breaks out and she's even like, kind of like taking off her shoes and
getting ready to get to join the fray, you know, like that whole.
Like she, like she actually, and I know that maybe it's will be argued and I know this
may be even like a, a blasphemy to say, but in that section of the movie, she outshined

(02:55:45):
Jackie Chan of all.
Oh, she very, she very much did because like the, like the smugglers, they punch her in
the face and her mouth goes, and like she's doing all of her lines like, like throw the
purse and then she like hikes her dress up, comes up and then one handed like he man catches
the purse and then everybody starts applauding.
No, that is wildly hilarious.

(02:56:08):
Why?
And even after she, and even after she does that, after she like does the skirt hike and
grabs the purse and she's, she's getting ready to like come out to this guy.
That's when, that's when, that's when Jackie steps in and he's like, Hey step mom, the
rest of the town's ladies are watching.
And then she's like, Oh right.
I'm the lady now.

(02:56:28):
And she drops the skirt and just like all demure and she's like, Oh, save me son.
You know, like, Oh God.
That's just.
Exactly.
Like Jackie does the exact same thing like two scenes later when Fu Wen shows up.
But so she just, she's like, all right, it's time.
Drunken boxing.
And he's like, are you sure?
She's like, I'm telling you like, what about dad?

(02:56:50):
Me.
Right.
I like that.
I like that.
He's not here.
You listen to me.
I'm your mom.
40 year old man.
I'm never going to get past that.
But then like he gets drunk and just tanks everybody and is up the comedy and that like
he's just chugging down this line.

(02:57:11):
He's like, Ooh, that's the good stuff.
And he just wrecks everybody.
But then the dad shows up and Jackie can't quite figure out that that's him.
Right.
He's so into the fight.
He basically starts punching his own dad without even realizing he's not one of the
robbers.
And it really showcased how unbelievably masterful his dad was because all these guys are getting

(02:57:34):
their ass kicked by Jackie.
Jackie can't land a single punch on him.
Right.
Yeah.
Like this guy is the true like you go like the boss status.
No, he is the he is the one clearly.
Yeah.
And I love that.
Like he's when he realizes that it's his dad, he's like, yeah, he which I'm so sad I didn't

(02:57:55):
get to watch this in like with Jackie Chan's actual voice with the subtitles.
I had to watch it on Amazon.
I hated that.
I hated it so much.
But is what it is that getting back to their home and the lecture from dad and as he's

(02:58:16):
just kind of going off on everybody on how you know, drunken boxing like leads to alcoholism
and all this.
And he's kind of whooping some ass.
Yeah.
Oh, no, sorry.
It's not at this point when he finds out about the bonsai.
Then Jackie gets his ass whooped.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
No, this this scene is kind of a it's kind of a cascading thing that we have happened

(02:58:39):
here because it's like one thing after their first first dad's pissed him about drunken
boxing.
Then he's pissed at mom because he's like, what's this I hear about you selling jewelry?
And then that's immediately followed up by the guy's wife showing up saying, like, yeah,
that ginseng you sold him wasn't ginseng.
He's nearly dead.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

(02:59:00):
He only took half.
Thank God.
So he's only half dead.
That was a learning dunes line.
It really, really was.
Yeah.
And so, yeah, it's like it all all everything that Jackie has done wrong up to end his mom,

(02:59:21):
everything that Jackie and his stepmom have done behind dad's back all comes out all at
once.
And it's like, I don't know who I feel sorry for more.
Dad having his world crash down around him, realizing how much crazy shit has been going
on behind his back for the last 24 hours or the family because he unleashes on them when

(02:59:43):
he finds out.
That's kind of a thing because both Kelly and I like we were talking about this during
this scene.
Like it was very uncomfortable.
This is a comedy.
Yes, it's a fighting movie, but this was like a straight up abuse scene.
And yes, that was that moment.
It's like, OK.
You can push an asshole, but when you push a nice guy too far, that's what happens.

(03:00:12):
Assholes kind of know how to deal with anger and stuff like that in somewhat of an emotionally
healthy way.
They get it out.
Right.
The ones who harbing that Jack Nicholson anger management with Adam Sandler.
That was a surprisingly good movie, actually.
But honestly, yes, there are two types of people who need anger management.

(03:00:36):
There's the explosive guy who is just yelling at the cashier.
Then there's the quiet guy, the guy who sits in the back of the store, listens to everything,
yelling and all that.
And then one day decides to come to the store with a gun.
You're the second guy.
The dad was the second guy.
Yes, the dude had been pushed way too far.

(03:00:59):
But they went into it with a little bit of comedy.
They came out of it with some comedy because even though he is like beating the crap out
of Jackie and he's trying to disown him and kick him out, kicking him out and dragging
him to the front door came with some very uncomfortable laughter.
Because he's dragging him out.
The music and the tension, everything in the scene is very emotional.

(03:01:23):
But he's tripping over shit and he's falling into plants on the way.
So it's also funny.
It's a very confusing scene.
It's a roller coaster is what it is, for sure, yes.
Then the mom, Ling, just oh my god, her comedy in this and then her fake cry, she's literally
like, and then she's like, I'm pregnant and I'm like, wait a minute.

(03:01:47):
And the pantomime crying, yeah.
This was theater.
This was filmed theater is what this was.
Absolutely.
But it made it so good.
So much better than if they would have gone any other route, I swear to God.
But literally Anita Mui's physical comedy in this one, where she's trying to throw herself

(03:02:08):
on the ground and everything like that and they wind up doing that little dance move
and all of this stuff.
This movie is incredible.
I love this movie.
No wires.
No wires for that.
She's literally leaping through the ground and he's catching her and they just do it
over and over again.
It was amazing.
Yeah.
You want to talk about a trust fall?
Watch this scene.
Yeah, no, seriously.

(03:02:29):
Because if she would have landed, oh my god, she would have, like her chin would have gone
through the back of her head.
Exactly, yes.
Oh, we already got that.
But then after he does successfully kick Jackie out of the home and everybody's yelling at
him and all this, he sends, or the mom sends Joe after Jackie and then his dad's like,

(03:02:51):
no.
He sends him the other way.
And she's like, oh dude, I forgot.
Like I said, I watched this a few times this week, but I forgot about that the first time.
So when he directed him to actually go after him, my heart was on the ground.
I was like, oh shit.
Good dad.

(03:03:15):
Despite it all, despite it all, he still, no matter what he says.
Yeah, oh man.
Like, look, the kid's got to learn some hard lessons, but I don't want him sleeping on
the street.
Send the servants to go follow him.
I have no idea what timeline, like when this took place.
I know trains existed.

(03:03:36):
That's about all I know.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know either.
No, but it doesn't matter.
But the reason that I bring that up, people used to be able to spank their children with
impunity.
That was a thing.

(03:03:57):
It very recently ended.
It basically was, with my generation becoming parents, we were the ones who basically started
bringing up like, maybe we shouldn't be doing this.
Yeah.
There's a lot of people that are mad at your generation about that.
You know what?
Stand by it.
There are.
You don't like, I'm not saying that every kid needs to be spanked or anything like that.

(03:04:22):
However, I am saying, I will never stop saying, there are some people who have went way too
far in their life without knowing what physical pain feels like, and it is very obvious.
No, yeah.
No, for sure.
Some people still do need to get taught a lesson.
And realistically, it's probably a little bit better if it's your mom or your dad versus

(03:04:43):
some random angry dude at a bar.
I mean, sure.
Yeah.
I mean, I've said before, there are some people you meet and you know right away they haven't
been punched enough in life.
I think I may have cross-stitched that somewhere.
But yeah, also at the same time, it's like, yeah, there is a line between spanking and

(03:05:08):
abuse.
And I do agree.
Yeah.
But and I think the issue is, is that there are too many people who don't seem to know
where the line is.
And so, societally, it's best for everyone if we just push that line a little further
into the safety side for everyone's sake.
That's where I stand on that.
That is a very understandable position to take.

(03:05:31):
I don't have any kids, so I don't really actually have to have a position on this one.
So sure.
Honestly, that's fine.
Yeah.
I respect the struggle that parents go through trying to like weigh the decision over how
to actually discipline your children.
I respect that.
I'm glad I don't have that problem.
Yeah.
Plain and simple.
But when he gets to that restaurant and he's sitting down, he's like, I want to sing a

(03:05:56):
song.
I want to sing I Hate Daddy.
You know, I hate daddy.
And the guy's like, of course I know that song.
And he just immediately starts playing a song.
I was fine.
That I think was probably one of my biggest laughs in the movie where he's just sitting
there drunk and be like, do you know the song I Hate Daddy?
And the music is like, yep.

(03:06:17):
I'm just like, Jesus Christ.
Right answer.
Never saw that joke in an American movie.
Holy shit.
No, that was incredible.
I loved it.
Gitson, I mean, he's a little bit too drunk to fight and they show up, they're like, that's
the guy.
He's incredible.
He took everybody out.
Well, he's too drunk to fight, which is his dad's point, basically.

(03:06:40):
And he winds up getting his ass whooped and then strung up naked.
Little rough.
Yeah.
Little rough.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, he had a bad day.
He had a really bad day.
I gotta say, man, when he comes out of it and so is sitting there talking like there's
no point in really crying about it.
And you think like, okay, yeah, Jackie Chan's not actually crying.

(03:07:02):
No, he is.
And Jackie Chan is a very good actor.
Like a lot.
Oh yeah.
I don't know if he's underrated as an actor in America, but I don't think it's not as
obvious to the American audiences how good of an actor he is.

(03:07:22):
I don't think.
That's the thing.
And I think that there were attempts at it, but they didn't go so well.
And so as far as American studios are concerned, they're not really like I heard.
I never saw it.
But apparently in the remake version of The Karate Kid, when Jackie played, took on the

(03:07:42):
Miyagi role, from what I hear, he did really, really well as Mr. Miyagi.
They say he was quite on par with Pat Morita on that role.
Oh no.
Yeah, that part of the movie was good.
Yeah.
But that's the thing.
He was really otherwise tanked because there was nothing else good about it.
And so his one foray into just being a dramatic actor instead of being an action comedy guy

(03:08:06):
goes to the dogs.
American studios aren't going to give him a second chance.
That's what they do.
I don't know.
I've been really hesitant about this because, well, I just am.
But there's the movie that he came out with called The Foreigner.
I don't know that one.
That is one of his most recent releases and it is an American film and I do want to watch

(03:08:27):
it.
I just haven't because it's one of those things.
If you know something is probably going to be one of your new favorite movies, you kind
of save it for a bad time.
You know what I mean?
Okay.
I hear what you're saying.
I've been holding on to that one until it's like, God, when am I really going to need
to just watch something brand new or take it?
Maybe I'll do it for the show.

(03:08:48):
I don't know.
But.
Why not?
Absolutely loved it.
I love it.
When Joe is trying to comfort him, he's like, hey, now that you were strung up naked, all
the women in town now want to marry you.
Once again, we bring this up a lot.
What is it with these directors making a point to just talk about how big their dicks are

(03:09:12):
on these movies?
We've made that point on the show.
What?
We have?
Yes.
Off the top of my head, Buffalo 66, you brought it up.
Oh, OK.
I feel like there was one other one.
I remember what I was talking about in Buffalo 66 where there was like the guy in the bathroom.
OK, you are right.
You are.

(03:09:33):
All right.
All right.
You are right.
No, Vincent Gallo in Buffalo 66.
There was a scene where he's like in the bathroom and a guy like looks over at his junkies like
it's just so massive.
But then like later on in the movie, we see him in these little tic tac tighty whities
and it's very, very obvious that I'm sorry, Vincent Gallo, but no, it's not like so it's

(03:09:57):
just a really weird option to put yourself in tighty whities in your own movie and then
reference how giant your anaconda is.
That's just goofy.
Yeah, that was my point on that one.
But damn it.
OK, technically you're right, because I did bring that.
All right.
And like I said, I feel like there was a second one somewhere in there.

(03:10:19):
I just don't remember where.
I'm not going back through all those episodes to try to figure that out.
You can do that on your time.
Hearing his dad discuss the downfall of drunken boxing and just all the tears falling and
how destroyed he is, he's like it only like only a few ounces can take you.
You think you're invincible.

(03:10:39):
You think you're Tom.
It is how you become an alcoholic by chasing that feeling, by chasing that strength.
And that's where I was talking about, like when you were distinguishing over what is
the real bad guy.
And that was where I was.
I didn't know if that was like the Chinese letting the British into China.
If that was alcoholism, I couldn't actually figure out what the real actual deep message

(03:11:04):
of the movie was.
However, considering the very final scene of this movie, I'm pretty sure we do know
what the actual message is.
Yeah.
I mean, it's fair to say that there's definitely, I mean, there's more than one for sure because
like we've got the union busting, we've got the British occupation, we've got alcoholism,

(03:11:26):
we've got wives that don't obey their husbands.
I mean, it's all over the board on this movie.
Like there's social commentary all across.
You took that to a pretty far point.
But I mean, like, I mean, come on, like I loved Ling in this movie.
Anita Mui, I loved her in this movie.

(03:11:46):
She was not a protagonist in this movie.
Oh my gosh.
Either she was a hard enabler or she was an antagonist.
Like she was not.
She was putting gasoline on every fire she could find in this movie.
She was lying about being pregnant all the way to the end.

(03:12:09):
She never.
Thank you.
Okay.
I didn't, I wasn't sure where you were going to take that one, but that didn't seem like
like really a massage thing.
But because the dad was, I mean, the dad was just doing his thing.
We never really got to see him be like a bad guy, a misogynist or anything like that.
Or you will listen to what I say.
That kind of stuff.
Or maybe.
No, it's true.

(03:12:30):
But we did see her just tank him every frickin scene.
So I'm not, I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm not, I'm not a hundred percent sure on that one, but all I know is the dynamics were
unbelievably wonderful.
Oh, laughing the entire way through.
This is where we get our first, um, first time that we hear this water is good for us,

(03:12:53):
but it can drown us as well, which is what winds up being Jackie Chan's Bart Simpson
moment for the rest of the film.
Bart Simpson moment.
Yeah, he had to write water is good for us, but it can drown us as well on every fan over
and over and over again.

(03:13:14):
I forgot.
That is 100% the Bart Simpson treatment.
Yes.
That took me a moment to connect Bart Simpson to that.
I'm like, his Bart, and I'm sitting here going like, have a cow man.
What?
What is that?
That is a way deeper cut than the intro of every episode for 30 some years.

(03:13:35):
But this was a master Fu Wenqi's arrival and we get a little duel between them.
But then Ling is like showing off her fighting skills against him, which was really, really
cool until Jackie comes out and then he takes over.
And then this is what I was talking about earlier, where like the mom kind of acts like,

(03:13:56):
oh, no, dad comes in and she's like, are you okay?
He's like, oh, yeah, I'm fine.
I'm just letting dad be a hero.
The amount of unnecessary lines and everything that were in this movie that just sold the
hilarity was incredible.
Yeah.
It was also a good choice not to make Jackie the best master.

(03:14:18):
No, yeah.
He's got a lot to learn.
And a lot of this movie is about his journey of learning up to even the final scene where
he willfully goes in to be the hero.
This is not just him trying to get out of a tariff.

(03:14:40):
This is not him trying to get revenge or steal something.
By the end of this movie, it's straight up, I have learned what the right thing to do
is and this is the right thing to do and so I'm going to do it.
Yeah, which they were pretty heavy with the symbolism at the end of the movie too.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I mean.
Where Jackie's shown up.

(03:15:01):
Whole movie, Jackie is wearing black robes the entire movie until he is wise and then
he shows up at the end of the movie as Gandalf the White and just shows up.
He's practically like, he just walks in with his white robes, no guns, wisdom, like all
of this stuff.
It's like, I'm sorry.
I've been watching you for over an hour and a half now.

(03:15:23):
This is not you.
Well you know, he was taken prisoner by the consulate for a couple of days.
Clearly they beat something into him.
Character development right there.
See, there you go.
Getting whooped is a good thing.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't quote him on that.
Don't quote him on that.

(03:15:45):
I loved it because when his dad comes in and we get to see the master V master fight, that
was great.
And I love the respect that they showed.
All of that.
That was just very charming.
It was interesting too because yeah, and it was interesting too because we got these two
masters who kind of go head to head and it happens pretty quick.
They only like exchange a couple of quick blows, but it becomes very quickly.

(03:16:09):
At the same time, they're both like, you mean no harm.
I can tell you mean no harm too.
They can tell they are so good that they can tell, oh, this guy who's punching me, he's
not out to get me.
He's just defending his family or something like, or this guy is this guy doesn't have
that animal killer bit to him.
Like this is a good, we, we can put our fists down and talk this over.

(03:16:29):
They both figure it out at the same time.
They can read each other's interstitium.
Nice callback, sir.
Thank you.
Very good.
Nicely done.
I want to dock and foreign me of a few episodes is there is some sort of new, um, development
that they've realized that there is some sort of additional organ, but like in our epidermal

(03:16:52):
layer, that it's, it's almost like a second nervous system and it connects every cell
in our body all into one superhighway system.
It gets like dehydrated or something like that because of our preservation method is
that's what you use?
Right.
I've said it before because the method we use to dissect our, our, our, our organs after
death in order to take a look at stuff.

(03:17:14):
Yeah.
Apparently just, uh, dries it out and desiccates it enough to make it like almost invisible.
And when people do see it, they assume it's just a flaw in the, uh, the, the organ due
to the post death, you know, dissection.
So definitely all the way up until with like the last five years.
That's a fun one.

(03:17:34):
Well, I said I was going to research that and I still haven't, but I do actually want
to check that out.
I just wanted to make a crack about that because how does that pair with Chi basically perfectly?
Right.
Yeah.
That's, that's what, that's what they've kind of come down to.
And when they were telling, when they were given their findings in China, all the Chinese
doctors were like, we already know what you're talking about.

(03:17:55):
Like, yeah, we've been using, we've been doing this for a few thousand years.
Yep.
Right.
Fair enough.
So yeah.
The fact that Joe was using the Jade seal as a mortar and pestle.
That was, I thought that was unnecessary.
Yeah.
I felt my asshole clinch up when I saw that scene.

(03:18:15):
I was like, yeah, artifact.
No, that was, that was great.
And we alluded to this earlier, but Fu Wen discussing the importance of keeping Chinese
relics within China.
And that feeds right into the restaurant brawl with the Axe Gang, which is why I went to
go watch Kung Fu Hustle after this, this week.

(03:18:37):
I'm sorry.
You mentioned the Axe Gang.
My instinct is to go watch Kung Fu Hustle.
No, I feel you there.
Yeah.
I mean, that is like, we're talking martial arts movies, everything.
I'm sorry, but Kung Fu Hustle is one of the best ones and it has nothing to do with Jackie
Chan.
I know.
Yep.
Which is weird.

(03:18:58):
I do want, I think that you think they would have at least called him for a cameo or something.
Yeah.
You think, you think Cho would have been like, Hey Jackie, do you want to see like even like
be a walk on?
There is Kung Fu Hustle 2 coming.
So we don't know yet.
That has been announced this year.
We're getting a Kung Fu Hustle 2.

(03:19:18):
Oh hell yeah.
No, and Steven Cho is returning to direct.
So I have such high hopes.
But where we're talking about the restaurant brawl with the Axe Gang, honestly, like just
real quick, I'm just going to list off kind of what happens who's fighting.
Then we'll go through and discuss a deal.

(03:19:39):
Sure.
Okay.
Jackie and the master, they realize that they're under attack because everybody leaves and
the fight kicks off.
Jackie jumps off the second balcony, goes through into a table, then uses tables for
the fight, fighting with the bamboo shoots and using his shirt as the shoot breaks.
This is the scene I was talking about.

(03:20:00):
I wouldn't even want to be a stunt man there.
I wouldn't want to be an extra.
I wouldn't want to be anything that I swear to God, every single person involved in that
could have been unbelievable martial arts.
I mean, oh my God, Doc, go ahead, man.
Just like, well, I mean, I'm right there with you, man.

(03:20:21):
I don't even know.
Okay, so like I said, in the bamboo scene, we get that sort of like just enough exposition
on how dangerous it is in that when he first starts fighting with the bamboo thing and
it first starts splitting on him, the first thing we see is his hands getting cut to shit
by the bamboo thing that he's holding.
The master figures it out instantly, rips his shirt off, uses it to tie the bamboo thing

(03:20:46):
together so it's not cutting his hands anymore, and then even on top of it grabs a thing of
cooking oil and dumps it all over Jackie.
So now he's got no friction because he's covered in oil.
So now he's essentially safe from the flying piranha razor blade that is the bamboo reeds

(03:21:08):
that he's flinging around.
And so we get right off the bat, this is serious.
And so when we see him flinging this bamboo at guys and their faces and hands getting
cut to shit as he does it.
So yeah, this is like the amount of extras that were in the scene.
I mean, it was scores.

(03:21:29):
It was like a hundred extras or something like that that were there.
And they all had axes.
It was crazy.
And they were all part of it.
But something that comes up a lot in movies like that stunt man are sitting in the back
and they're just kind of doing this thing and all that.
But in this type of situation, it was completely understandable.
It was never, I was never taken out of it.

(03:21:51):
I was like, why isn't somebody coming in there?
Because in real life, I mean, think about going to a carnival game and you are watching,
you're watching, you're waiting for your opportunity, waiting for your opportunity.
And you just realized your opportunity went by you.
That's probably how something like this would go is you're one of those guys looking to
take your, get your shot, getting in there and fighting the guy.

(03:22:13):
But you're pretty hesitant and you might just realize that it just went by.
So in a situation like this, and this is not just a dude with a knife or something like
that, that nobody's doing anything.
No, this is expertly choreographed, planned out the weapons that they used and how they
did it, how they secluded themselves.
The master dropping that staircase to seclude themselves.

(03:22:39):
The scene was perfect.
I mean, I have a lot of confidence in actually saying that that scene was perfect because
God damn it was good.
Yeah.
I mean, like I said at the beginning of this, like this movie is 90% boy, you just got to
see it.
Agreed.
This is probably the most you got to see it moment in the movie for everything that you

(03:23:02):
just described.
Yes.
Or the fire.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
That right.
So we'll get to that.
And then this moment, Jackie's real life students show up to help a little late.
And that's what I love is like Jackie Chan actually has like for decades has had apprentices

(03:23:22):
that he's brought into his films and he's like trying to pass the torch.
All of this.
Like you gotta love Jackie for this.
You gotta love him for having that kind of commitment.
But they're a little late and when she dies, but they called him men men key.
So I don't seriously dude, like when it comes to figuring out what people's names are, when

(03:23:46):
you're going for the Mandarin, the Cantonese, the English dub, it gets confusing as hell
man.
Yeah.
But yeah, it really does.
Then we get the confrontation with the British officials and meeting them at the British
consulate and Jackie and saying sneak in separately.

(03:24:06):
How clever it was to have that British dude not realize that that was a different Chinese
guy.
That whole that was like that's the Wile E. Coyote.
Like I mentioned Wile E. Coyote before, but this whole scene is a weirdly like Wile E.
Coyote type stuff because you've got the British guy who doesn't realize that his Chinese guard

(03:24:29):
is a different Chinese guard than he entered the room with.
You get Jackie and his friend not realizing that they're on each other's side at some
point because they're both like trying to tail the same British guy and they both think
the other guy's the guard.
This is some of that comedy gold that we're talking about here where they just like went

(03:24:50):
with a they took a bizarre situation and just kept making it funnier.
And it ends with them slinking across the floor when the lights turn on and they use
a fish eye lens to hide everybody and it comes up and there's your final Looney Tunes moment
and then he gets into a real serious one.

(03:25:11):
Yeah.
Going into that present boxing.
Yeah, it turns real serious real fast.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If being captured was funny, then being captured was not.
No, that was rough.
But that but and we talked about this a little bit on the off time this week, but the reason
why Jackie Chan's fights are better than anybody else's is because he gets hurt.

(03:25:34):
Right.
Exactly.
Like he understands the he understands that the hero's role is to rise up to be put down
and and have an obstacle to to overcome.
And that is a big point.
The other reason why Jackie Chan films are better, like their fights are better, is because
in a lot like in a lot of Western films, what they do is the camera will be here for this

(03:25:57):
moment and then they'll cut away and they'll go to a reaction and then they'll be at this
moment and they'll come back in and you'll just see the reaction.
Jackie Chan, how he does it, he comes in for the hit and then he does it again.
So where you see the hit back here from another angle and you get to see the full force as
it's striking.

(03:26:19):
So in Western films, you never see the hit.
Jackie Chan's films, you see the hit twice.
So I mean, and the second time almost seems like it's.
Yeah.
And the second time it almost seems like it's being hit even harder.
You know, so it's like every.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, like digging in and diving in on how these things were done and why they

(03:26:43):
were done makes me really understand why I have so much extreme nostalgia for Jackie
Chan films.
Sure.
Yeah.
I mean, God, they were just so good.
I mean, still are like, what am I talking about that?
But then Ling and the data going back and forth and she is manipulate.

(03:27:04):
This is what I was talking about earlier.
Ling manipulates the dad by asking his dead ex-wife, her sister, for help in handling
him or our husband.
What the hell is that?
Is that like an old Chinese culture thing that they probably don't do anymore?
I'm hoping where like you just have to stay connected to the family like where families

(03:27:28):
were connected to keep it.
It's so weird.
I don't think it's even I don't think it's even just a Chinese thing, dude.
I think that's in the Bible.
I don't remember that in the Bible.
I'm like 90% sure there's a there's like one of the like, you know, one of the there's
something in there's something in the Bible about like if a man dies and leaves a widow,

(03:27:51):
it's his and he has a brother, it's his brother's duty to marry the widow to make sure she's
taken care of.
Oh, I do.
Okay.
Yeah.
I remember something about that, too.
Okay.
Okay.
That is sounding a little bit.
I think it's a Chinese thing.
I think this is just a general old world thing.
Okay.
I think everybody was doing it to some degree.
Okay.
I mean, I mean, yeah, if you do literally have like the dowry gifts and stuff like that

(03:28:12):
for deals and arrangements and things like that for families to be connected.
Yes, that does make sense.
Yeah.
Oh, what a weird, weird thing to wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Especially these upper upper class, especially these upper class families where it's like,
yeah, these are like mostly political arrangement type marriages.

(03:28:34):
If one of you dies and you got to keep that, you got to keep the treaty alive.
Well, here, take the other kid then.
Fair.
Dark.
Fair.
Yeah.
Okay.
Do it.
Rich people are rich people are dark, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I want to say I know, but I barely know any rich people.

(03:28:57):
So, I don't know.
I just know what we see and no, okay.
No, no, no, no politics.
Not during the main show.
Right.
Yeah.
Moving on.
They find out dad sold the property to get them freed and man, you got to, ah, everything.

(03:29:18):
They were trying to figure out how to get rid of the Kung Fu school, how to do all this
and this entire movie, Jackie Chan has just been trashing his father's reputation and
everything that's been going.
All the way to now he has to get rid of his home, his school, his business, everything
because of Jackie and the incredible thing.

(03:29:40):
Incredible dad moment is he ain't even mad or he doesn't show up.
He just doesn't, it's like, it's no point in focusing on this.
It's time to focus on the future.
Right.
Yeah.
What, what a man.
It's like you're, you're, you're, you're home and you're safe.
You're home safe now, that's all that matters.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.

(03:30:00):
Like that's like, Oh yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
And when I say like, that's a man, I know the modern era has like put like some like
disdain on stuff like that.
But realistically being a man is not about being tough.
It's not about being strong.
It's not about any stuff.
Being a man is just straight up whatever your responsibilities are, you handle them.

(03:30:23):
That's it.
Yeah.
And that is the, that is the core lessons that have been handed down to us.
Everything else that's just kind of other people throwing stuff on that.
That's the lesson that is, that gets passed down about being a man.
It's just handling your responsibilities and just shutting up and dealing with it.

(03:30:44):
And I loved, cause like that's not a bad thing.
No, yeah.
This dad is a perfect example of that.
Doesn't matter.
You messed up.
You trashed my life.
Am I going to cry about it?
No, I'm going to sack up and I'm going to take care of you because that's my job.
Exactly.
Yep.

(03:31:04):
And I really, you're, you're, you're my son and I am going to keep you safe.
That is what I do.
You know?
Yeah.
And I did, I did appreciate that.
Let's see.
Oh, then we go to that steel factory infiltration.
They fire all the steel workers and they're all going to rise up.
And then the spies find out that they're smuggling the goods.

(03:31:26):
Right.
That little tiny itty bit, um, like that steel rod fight.
It was such a short thing, just such a short, small, tiny moment.
But that French Indiana Jones just tanking them, tanking those guys.
Evil Indiana Jones just come like, and you know, you know, they did it on purpose.

(03:31:50):
You know, Jackie was just like, no, he's Indiana Jones.
He's got the hat.
He's got the whip.
That's totally who that he is.
Yeah.
Oh, he literally is going like, no, I'm going to beat Indiana Jones.
Exactly.
Yes.
Mr. It belongs in a museum.
No motherfucker.
It belongs in China.
Oh, which I don't know if they did this in the sub, like in the original version, but

(03:32:17):
in the dub, they kept introducing names of other Jackie Chan movies.
What?
Yeah.
So he goes like, all right, ready to rumble.
Like he get like, like he just kept saying like his lines from his other movies, which
honestly is the only incredible thing about the dub.
Because that was just cheeky.

(03:32:42):
That's spectacular.
That is.
Yeah.
I think there were three different.
I think it was like, no more Mr. Nice guy ready to rumble.
Like it was, it was stuff like that.
Like he kept tossing those in and it was our fault.
I, I wish I would have written down which ones they were.
I love it though.
Prepping to fight.

(03:33:02):
Oh, this is where we're talking about where the dad leaves Jackie Chan to his Bart Simpson
punishment.
Just writing down over and over again on the fan, you know, basically I'm not going to
drink too much.
Right.
That was the core lesson.
And Ling is all in on the Prager's lie all the way.
You can't come with us.

(03:33:23):
You're pregnant.
And she's like, huh, you're right.
Well, then you go.
She up.
I know this is a Jackie Chan movie, but you are right.
She stole the show.
Yeah.
Yep.
Hands down.
She was incredible.
The steel factory showdown.
Look, well, I don't want to skip over one real.
One thing because this, this, this, go, this goes to what we were talking about before

(03:33:47):
about the hundreds of takes in, in a Jackie Chan movie.
Oh yeah.
And, and there is, but when his, when his friends come and be like, we need help, there's
trouble at the mill.
And she sends him off just before she leaves.
She goes, Hey, wait, you're going to need this.
And she tosses him a fan and it kind of loop the loops through the air and he catches it

(03:34:08):
in the air and does this.
And you know, you know, that was at a bare minimum, 50 ticks had to be, I mean, that
was in the bloopers.
They were like some of the interviews that I showed, he specifically talked about, there's
a scene that I have to grab this fan and we had to do that over.
Yeah.
Specifically talked about that one scene and just a short moment, such an amazing thing.

(03:34:33):
Short moment.
Not even like at any point, like I know even me.
I consider myself to be, you know, somewhat of an artistic filmmaker in the attempts that
I didn't, I would have, if it would have been me, I would have gotten to maybe take 15 before
I went, you know what, this doesn't need to be in the movie.
And that's why Jackie beats us.
Exactly.

(03:34:53):
Yes.
I mean, it just is.
The protest turns violent as Chan shows up all, like I said earlier, Gandalf the gray
into Gandalf the white.
He is now Jackie the white showing up in all his white robes with his little fan that has
its wisdom on it.
Not the character that we have known the whole movie.
But he's got, he's got one hand behind his back as he talks, just, you know, like a wizard.

(03:35:17):
Yes.
He, no, he is full of Kung Fu master now and all that took was getting his ass kicked in
prison.
Yeah.
A lot, a lot.
Yeah.
But then I like, they take, they get the guns from that, I love the scene where the guy
was trying to shoot, but then saying drops the sword and right before the hammer comes

(03:35:39):
down to let the bullet fly that what I loved.
I mean, oh my God, that's awesome.
That's the stuff that the little kid in me is like, yeah, Kung Fu.
Yeah.
Like, no, that is like, that's the stuff that I remember just getting absolutely jazzed
about and loving the fact that it still works on me.

(03:36:00):
Oh yeah.
Like the fact that I still get that reaction, I, that, that makes me really happy.
But then they get the guns and Jackie says, no shooting.
Like it that he keeps it, he just keeps it in honorable grounded hand to hand fight.
And they all go, okay.
And they turn the guns over and start beating the guards with the butt of the rifles.

(03:36:23):
That's how you do it.
But then, yeah, we go up against the French Indiana Jones again.
And he has like the chain, like, yeah, instead of a whip, he has chains instead of, uh, no
Ascot.
He has an Ascot.
He's like, he's just, he's very, very French.
Yeah.

(03:36:44):
But then, oh my God, the final fights, the henchmen are coming in and Chan gives his
lesson on patriotism and the response from the bad guys, like, who cares?
We want money.
Like, okay.
So the lessons in this patriotism, anti-immigration, greed, alcoholism, like the movie is a little

(03:37:08):
bit more complete than I realized as a kid.
I'm not going to lie.
Right.
There, there's, there's a lot of like almost afterschool special level preaching going
on and like every other scene in this movie.
But that is understandable because like, like the Chinese government funds a lot of these
films.
So the messages that need to be in them are very much very like Chinese government.

(03:37:33):
And no matter how much, this does get a little bit awkward because a lot of people have a
lot of hatred towards the Chinese government.
I'm not a big fan myself.
Sorry, Alvin Rhythm.
That's probably not going to work very well for me for saying that.
But Jackie Chan is heavy, heavy China patriot.

(03:37:55):
I'm not, I'm not a hundred percent sure on that.
What?
Cause Jackie, cause it depends on who you ask.
To a certain degree, Jackie Chan is more Hong Kong than he is China.
And they do still kind of see themselves separately.
Maybe not as much now.
You lived in China, so I'm going to have to just, yeah, I'm gonna throw my hands up on

(03:38:20):
that one.
But that is something because like how much of a superstar he is, a music star, movie
star, everything like that.
I thought that he like worked with the Chinese government and stuff like that or the Hong
Kong guy, but I don't know the geopolitical nature of China.
I really don't.
Right.

(03:38:40):
Okay.
Well to my, okay.
So this is all that into the after hour.
Okay.
All right.
Sure.
Okay.
All right.
Was there something that you wanted to say on the fight though?
Nope.
Nope.
I was mainly just talking about the morals of the story there.
Like you said, you know, okay.
All right.
But we will get that soon.
The henchman, the henchman fight with the bosses pulling the levers that go watching.

(03:39:05):
I mean, that's really all we can really say when it comes to things like that.
Just go watch the scene, go watch the movie.
Right.
Yeah.
And then we get the end of that fight where he just chucks the pipe at Henry and just
kind of looks at him and Henry's little giggle at that.
Good bad guy.
Good bad guy.
Yeah.
I got to give him that.

(03:39:25):
And then we get our good, good guy move where even though he's fighting the guy, the guy
winds up on fire and Jackie goes out of his way to put him out.
Right.
Yeah.
He's even keeps like some dude is still trying to fight him and he's just like just barely
keeping that guy off while he tries to put the other bad guy out.
You know, like, yeah, he's making a very.

(03:39:45):
But he does it in a lot of his movies.
Like if you see like one guy dangling off of a building and another guy's up there kicking
Jackie, like he's fighting that guy while trying to save this guy's life.
Those are incredible.
Yeah.
Like those are perfect tension scenes.
They are.
They just flat out are.
And I love how well he does them every time.

(03:40:06):
God, I just want to watch another 50 Jackie Chan movies after this.
It just is too good.
Then we get Chan versus Henry and the Mr. Kiki guy, John.
And one of them in a scene or an image that has stayed in my mind my entire life since
I have seen this is John shoving his chin into Jackie Chan's eye during that fight.

(03:40:29):
Right.
Yeah.
Oh.
But when Jackie gets the upper hand later in the fight and then shoves his giant nose
into his eye, turning that from a lot of pain into a bunch of comedy.
Right.
Exactly.
That was absolutely fantastic.

(03:40:49):
John realizing that Chan can't do it drunk and then kicking Chan into that fire and then
the slow motion as that is going across.
Everything, obviously, this is a Jackie Chan film.
Everything was real.
Everything was real.
Like all the fire, all the coals, everything.
Jackie and Jackie directed this portion of the film.

(03:41:14):
He was not satisfied with his first take going through those coals.
So he actually did that twice.
You cannot have like nobody could ever possibly say anything against Jackie Chan's dedication.
No, that's true.
Yeah.
I don't think there is.
It's and it's.
Yeah.
And that and that may be that may be where the line is between Jackie and someone like

(03:41:39):
Kubrick because Kubrick is behind the camera the whole time.
When Jackie Chan's doing a hundred takes, he's the one having to do them.
He's the one putting himself through that shit.
And so that's a good point.
In that in that degree, that's where he's he's different because he's not just torturing
his actors.

(03:41:59):
He's the one he's dedicating.
He's willing to do it himself.
He's an actual general in this.
I will not order my troops to do anything that I am not willing to do.
Very fair.
He lives that.
One thing and this is a different movie, Rumble in the Bronx.
I'm pretty sure it was Rumble in the Bronx.
Jackie Chan has this amazing stunt that he has to jump.
I think it was like 70 feet or something and land on a hover ship.

(03:42:25):
The first time he did that, he made the jump and he broke his foot.
Then with a cast on, he did the jump again with a cast on and a rubber like right.
That went around.
It was like he was wearing a shoe and he did that with a cast on his foot.
Yeah.

(03:42:45):
Jackie Chan is the man.
Hands down, flat out.
I remember seeing that outtake of him putting the fake shoe on over the cast.
Yeah, that was either Rumble in the Bronx or Supercop.
I can't remember which one.
Oh, I was thinking it was either Rumble in the Bronx or Mr. Nice Guy.

(03:43:08):
Then it was probably Rumble in the Bronx.
This is the only one we're both remembering on that list.
Okay, fair enough.
Henry reads off what's on the fan and then father's wisdom drives him to drink.
I just had to write the note like that.
Yeah.
Chan takes that alcohol that earlier in the film, they use this alcohol to kick up the

(03:43:34):
flames on the coals that they're working in the steel mill.
This stuff is not drinking stuff.
It literally says warning industrial alcohol on the label.
It says it in Chinese, but that's what it translates to is warning industrial alcohol.
Yeah.
I don't know what makes alcohol industrial, but apparently it's a lot.

(03:43:58):
I don't know, but I'm pretty sure I drank it in high school.
I'm sorry, man, flat out.
If you don't understand that you can clean a carburetor with Everclear, you have not
drank moonshine.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I don't know if I should be admitting that shit.
Oh God, everybody all over the country.

(03:44:21):
So many people do it.
It's got to be fine at this point.
It's one of those things, man.
Yeah.
Okay, fair enough.
But I love when he's drinking the alcohol, he just starts choking on it and he has that
cold.
That was awesome.
That was kind of like what got me most about this scene.

(03:44:42):
And well, and a little bit in the other fight scenes, but this one even more so, it wasn't
just the fact that the stunts and the fighting and all this other stuff, it's how through
this as he's drinking, his face gets beat freaking red and he's frothing at the mouth.

(03:45:03):
He looks ill.
I am more concerned for what the alcohol is doing to him than I am the fire, honestly.
And for good reason, as it turns out.
But then yeah, he has that cold breath.
Oh my God, no, before that, when he jumps up on the guy and he has that monkey move

(03:45:25):
where he's just shaking, oh my God, how hard that had to be for the two of them to pull
that off.
I love that.
I love that move.
That was brilliant.
Yeah, that was like him fighting as a drunken monkey was incredible.
Like that was great.
But that was the he has the cold breath and then the vomit and in the English dub, this

(03:45:47):
is where the moment he goes ready to rumble.
But at this point, he is indestructible and straight up unstoppable now.
Having him take that break to go into a rage fit on that box.
Brilliant.
And I remember a comment hitting me because it was like I mentioned like how he's all

(03:46:09):
red in the face and frothing at the mouth.
Like I had thought at the time, like literally he's turned into Red Hulk.
Like that's what's happened.
Like he he drank the alcohol and now he's the Red Hulk.
He's beat freaking red and he is raging everywhere.
I just thought he looked like a straight up alcoholic at that point.

(03:46:29):
Like 100 percent.
But this is that the nose in the eye and then just go watch the fight.
I mean, I don't know how to talk about this without literally talking about it for five
hours each fight.
It's not like right frame by frame by frame, basically.
Yeah.
So I mean, just go watch it because the wrestling finish.

(03:46:50):
Great moment.
But then just all the bubbles.
Fantastic.
And which that's one of those things because it's like you kind of you kind of like.
Because we see that that joke often, you know, they had especially in cartoons and even in
some Disney movies where the, you know, the drunk guy hiccups and a little bubble comes

(03:47:10):
out.
And so you don't give it much thought until we get to the outtakes of the movie and we
see Jackie with all of his frothed up spit trying to make a bubble and get it to work
on film that you realize, oh, wait, that one wasn't a cell shade like we usually see it
as.
He actually made bubbles with his mouth and like, dude, dude, Jackie, calm down, man.

(03:47:37):
No, no, I love it.
I love it all the way.
And now we get to the ending.
Now we watch this two different ways.
I'm very jealous of how you watched it because you watch it in the original.
I watched what I got the original.
Right.
Yeah, I got the original Hong Kong version.
Yeah.

(03:47:57):
And what happened in the dub is the audio and subs have been cut because Miramax did
not approve of the ending.
So you can see it and you can see why they didn't approve of it, but you can't hear what
they say or read the subtitles.
You can.
So go ahead and fill us in.
So, yeah, they're basically the whole town is celebrating because they got the artifacts

(03:48:20):
back and I think they've even taken ownership of the steel mill.
The workers now have their own ownership of the steel mill.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
And so and that's like I some magistrate, I think he's supposed to be mayor or something.
I'm not sure who he is, but he's some big wig who's basically there to like give an
award to Jackie and his whole family to thank them for everything they did to save the artifacts

(03:48:43):
and save the steel mill and all this sort of stuff.
And everyone's there having a great time.
Dad is shaking hands like so proud.
Mom is eating it up like, yes, I'm glamorous.
I'm wonderful.
Thank you.
And then the servant Chen is there going like, I helped.
Thank you.
You know, everyone's there.
Everyone's there but Jackie.
And as they do the ceremony, it is until after the ceremony is over that the, you know, that

(03:49:07):
the mayor guy goes, by the way, where where is your son?
Like he was the main thing.
And they're all like, oh, yeah, no, he's out back, you know, practicing.
He's doing physical therapy because he got he got injured and and because he drank the
industrial alcohol, it's caused some blindness and some speech problems.
So he's out back just doing, you know, training as physical therapy.

(03:49:29):
And he's like, oh, OK, all right.
Well, you know, he still he still could come out, you know, I think everybody would love
to see him in there like.
No, see, you see, the problem is, is that it's not just his eyes and his talking.
It's his brain.
It's his brain.
And they and we and as they're doing that, they walk back and they see Jackie there and
he is doing karate.

(03:49:50):
He is physically like fighting people.
It. To quote another film.
He's physically fighting people that is not in the no, he's not.
He's not.
He's not fighting.
He's training.
He's basically doing a kata is what he's doing, you know.
Oh, OK, because in the ending I got, he is just stumbling around the back while Joe is

(03:50:11):
like making sounds with a stick or like like basically look like, oh, maybe that.
Yeah, it looked like they were playing Marco Polo.
Right, right.
OK.
Yeah, I guess.
But I didn't have any subtitles.
I have no idea because he was he was doing he was kind of almost at the beginning when
they walk in before he faces the camera.
He is kind of doing stances.

(03:50:31):
So like I think maybe it was a misdirect to make it look like he was training and I just
fell for it.
Oh, but yeah, I honestly I couldn't tell you.
I don't know.
But yeah, then he suddenly turns around and faces the camera and does an actual phone,
you know, like he's he's absolute brain fried.
You know, is basically how it ends is that after drinking the industrial alcohol to to

(03:50:55):
turn into drunken master, he's basically now a monkey.
So he is a full on brain damaged individual for the rest of his life.
Yes.
Yes.
And so that's like I said, like the message of this movie based off how it ended.
It's well, I mean, yeah, yeah, I see what you're saying as far as like, you know, the,

(03:51:19):
you know, we've got imperialism is, you know, a villain here.
Alcoholism is a villain here.
Immaturity and hotheadedness is a villain here.
I think the final lesson workplace safety is important.
You know, that's I know, I know it seems like I'm it seems like I'm a mess.

(03:51:45):
I swear I'm not just a shill for OSHA.
I I genuinely do believe this.
And when the when the sign says warning industrial alcohol, do not drink.
It's there for a reason.
Where OK, fair enough.
All right.
So that is going to bring a close to the legend of drunken master and part two of this week's

(03:52:11):
episode.
So now for the movie fight.
Oh, boy, this is going to be rough, right?
Yeah, this is this is going to be rough.
Who did we care about more?
Now here's the thing.
Legend of drunken master had more scenes than I realized to make me care about the

(03:52:34):
characters than I remembered.
OK, so I would like I see what you're saying there.
Like that scene with the with Jackie, with his dad and the stepmom.
Yeah, that is.
Hard.
Jackie crying because of the effects of being an alcoholic or everything like that and his
dad's fears of it over it.
I cared about him.

(03:52:55):
I cared about like I sure.
When Jackie was strung up naked after that fight and the disappointment and like when
they had to sell the school and all, like I actually did care.
So I mean, I said that I would say I didn't care.
I'm just giving some love to the drunken master.

(03:53:15):
No, sure.
Of course.
And that's the thing is like that's the thing about this is that to say to say that, yeah,
Garp made us care more that that that.
Yeah.
And I've said this before and I'll say it again.
I don't approve of this movie fight stuff, you know, because it is it to say that one
is better than.
Sorry, Matt.
100% of our audience voted yes for more movie fights.

(03:53:42):
So I think our audience hates you.
Every last one of you.
I just think our audience hates you.
Probably.
That's probably what's going to get started with you bashing Requiem.
That's where that started.
I stand by it.
I refuse to back down.
OK, so round one very clearly goes to Garp Garp.

(03:54:04):
Yeah.
Round two.
I think that actually has to go to drunken master.
Well for the technical.
Technical aspect.
Yeah.
OK.
Yeah.
I mean, for sure, especially the fact that, yeah, after that, like you said, with that
bamboo fight, the fact that no one died in this movie is a minor miracle that we know
of.
That's true.

(03:54:25):
That's true.
It was in Hong Kong.
They could have covered it up a lot easier than they.
So the actual breaker on this one is going to be.
What like which one would we recommend or.
Is there anybody that you wouldn't recommend Drunken Master to?

(03:54:45):
No, but there's all but I mean, if I'm being honest, there's also nobody I wouldn't recommend
the world according to Garp to at the same time.
Yeah.
Maybe in different occasions for different moods, but I honestly cannot think of anyone
I know anyway that wouldn't appreciate both of these films equally.
Well, we're definitely not going to bank on the audience to tell us who won this one,

(03:55:10):
because Drunken Master got over a hundred more votes than Garp.
Savages.
Every last one of you.
OK, let's keep in mind here, Garp's like 20 years older than Drunken Master as well.
So the amount of people who have seen it, very, very little in comparison.
All right.

(03:55:31):
I think we should kind of massage the quizzes now instead of like, which would you rather
see more of like, have you seen it and would you see it again?
Because which would you rather see is an unfair comparison, especially when we're doing a
horror movie against the comedy in October.
That's just not cool, man.

(03:55:53):
I can see that.
And I think I'm actually going to steer into what you said.
And the occasion.
There's not anybody that I wouldn't recommend go watch The World According to Garp, but

(03:56:16):
there's not a time that I wouldn't recommend somebody to go watch Drunken Master.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
OK, I see.
All right.
And I guess that that does edge it a little bit.
Yes.
Do you have that?
I mean, it's I wouldn't say that I would not call Garp a Christmas movie for sure.

(03:56:38):
But I wouldn't see anything wrong with seeing with seeing Drunken Master on Christmas.
It would be part of the whole party, you know, joy, you know, it's a bit interesting world.
World According to Garp is a good movie to watch at a funeral.
That's OK.
No, no.
OK, that is a good, like a decent, like somewhat life affirming movie, even though it was made

(03:57:00):
in the 70s.
So obviously the main character has to die.
God, what was going on with people in the 70s?
But yeah, I think I I I I kind of want to give it to Drunken Master on that.

(03:57:20):
But here's the caveat that I'm going to take in there.
Drunken Master can't go to the tournament.
Why did you say that?
Because it's too different.
Like we actually have to do a martial arts type tournament because there's no there's
no way to.
Yeah, there's no way.
OK, I see what you're saying.

(03:57:40):
Because how much I love Jackie Chan and how much I love martial arts films and how much
I love comedy action, like all that.
Drunken Master is going to win.
I'm going to fight for it non-stop because like there's not a second of this movie that
I don't find incredible.
OK, so when putting it up against like other stories and storytelling and things like that,

(03:58:05):
I kind of want to set it aside or like when we have like and when we've done enough action
movies to have an action movie fight.
OK, I see what you're saying.
OK, yeah, I got nothing.
I cannot.
So can I dispute that?
So I'm like this one would say, in my opinion, Drunken Master wins.

(03:58:26):
But I want to.
But I do want Garp to be in the tournament because I do actually want to fight for Garp.
Like that is something that is something.
And I feel like it would be more and that's the thing is, I feel it would be more interesting
to see Garp go up against a story movies.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
No.
OK.
All right.

(03:58:47):
So there you go.
Drunken Master wins.
But Garp wins.
So what we have.
Be we not fair.
We try.
We try.
Yeah.
What we have for next week, though, for you, I have 10 Things I Hate About You.
Ten Things I Hate About You.
A semi-modern.

(03:59:07):
I've seen that before, but I.
Go ahead.
I have seen that before, but it is it is a good flick.
I don't mind talking about it.
Because, yeah, it's.
I'm trying to remember if that was one of the first because there was a run of movies
where they were basically taking Shakespeare and turning them into modern day teen comedies.

(03:59:29):
Oh, yeah.
I feel like that there was in that era.
I think this is the same area that they actually did that Romeo and Juliet with like Leo and
John.
Leo DiCaprio and Claire Danes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So from the late 90s to like the early 2000s, there was this run of just turning Shakespeare
into teen romance comedies.

(03:59:50):
And lest we forget, Garfield, A Tale of Two Kitties.
I don't even know where to begin with what you just fucking said.
I had to.
I had to.
I haven't seen it yet, but that's I mean, that's basically named after a Shakespearean
play, so.
No, that's Dickens.
God damn it.
Even when I tried to do a sideways joke, I still did it wrong.

(04:00:19):
God damn it.
That's why I said I didn't know where to begin, because I'm like, first of all, that's not
even Shakespeare.
No, it's not.
And I'm not even sure if that should be first of all.
Oh, that was bad.
But this is a movie channel, not like we ain't coming in here talking to the pintameter and
everything every week.
So all right.

(04:00:42):
But yeah, I know actually now that I think now that you brought it up, I think the Romeo
and Juliet was actually the first one.
So yeah, so but this was definitely one of the high points of that run, in my opinion.
I really enjoyed it.
Made me a Julia Stiles fan pretty, pretty immediately.
So now there's there's already some stuff I know about that movie going into it, but

(04:01:04):
we'll save it for next week.
All right.
What do you got for me?
I have for you.
I'm going old school, super, super old school.
I'm going black and white on your ass.
This movie was made in the 30s, I think, maybe early 40s.

(04:01:24):
It's called Duck Soup.
It's a Marx Brothers movie.
Starring who?
Droucho Marx, Chico Marx and and Harpo Marx.
OK, so not directed, but starring.
OK, starring.
Yes, directed.

(04:01:45):
I'm not sure who it directed by, but yes, and I'm kind of sort of directed because that's
the thing is the Marx Brothers were a comedy troupe.
So even if they weren't director in name, they had a lot of creative control over what
was going on.
So I would say directed by is a very gray area in here.
OK, fair.
What's the premise?

(04:02:06):
Well in this one now, here's the thing about Marx Brothers movies.
The premise really doesn't matter.
It's basically just this, like I said, this comedy group, the Marx Brothers just doing
their thing in every movie.
And I've been wanting to bring the Marx Brothers to this channel because they are one of those
epic comedy troops of the past.

(04:02:27):
They started out on vaudeville before they went to movies.
That's how far back these guys go.
And I figure I would get away with one.
I figure one Marx Brother movie throughout the life of this channel is what I could do.
And so I've been thinking really hard about which one to do.
And I settled on Duck Soup because in Duck Soup, there is a specific Marx Brothers routine,

(04:02:50):
one of their bits that you are going to recognize because it has been recreated ad nauseum since
they did it in this movie.
When you see it, you will be shocked that this is where it began.
You will know exactly what I'm talking about.
Fair enough.
I'm looking forward to it.
But as far as the premise goes, Groucho Marx plays the newly crowned dictator of a country

(04:03:17):
and hilarity ensues.
And Chico is a spy trying to just basically get dirt on him for a nonspecific reason.
Like I said, the premise don't really matter in Marx Brothers movies.
It's just about these guys being the Marx Brothers.

(04:03:38):
All right.
So that is going to be next week.
That is going to be 10 Things I Hate About You and Duck Soup.
From now until then, stay safe and stay sane, guys.
One way or another, we'll get through this together.

All Episodes

H.Y.S.T? | S2E7 | The World According to Garp & Legend of Drunken Master

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Dateline NBC

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}H.Y.S.T? | S2E7 | The World According to Garp & Legend of Drunken Master