Self-Care versus Self-Indulgence

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 Word of the Episode: Penitent

• Usage: Came up while studying Psalm 6 (one of the “penitential psalms”).
• Common Associations:
  • Hosts thought it related to humility, kneeling, or seeking forgiveness.
  • One recalled Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, where the “penitent man kneels before God.”
  • Also connected to penance.
• Dictionary Definition: Feeling or showing sorrow/regret for wrongdoings; repentant. As a noun, someone who repents.
• Etymology: From Latin paenitent- (“repenting”) → Old French → English. Related to penance.
• Fun fact: Appears in scientific term “penitent ethylene” (plants shedding leaves under stress, a kind of “repentance”).

Main Discussion: Self-Care vs. Self-Indulgence

• Self-care: Actions that restore or maintain long-term wellbeing (health, mental stability, productivity, relationships).
• Self-indulgence: Actions for immediate personal gratification, often without lasting benefits.

Simplified: Self-care = fixing / preserving health; Self-indulgence = pleasure/escape.

Examples Game (off the cuff):

• Watching a TV show → indulgence.
• Going for a run → care.
• Eating out → usually indulgence.
• Taking a bath → care.
• Lighting a candle → indulgence (for him, since he doesn’t enjoy candles).
• Glass of wine → indulgence.
• Reading a book / podcast → depends on topic, could be care.
• Driving with windows down → indulgence. (He loves this, she hates it.)

Key Insights

• Mom culture marker: Bath + wine = commonly labeled as “self-care.” Hosts argue that’s indulgence or even self-medicating, not true self-care.
• Self-care is incremental/long-term: Prevent breakdowns rather than patching after exhaustion.
• Self-indulgence is not “bad”—just not the same as care. The labels matter because people often justify indulgence using the language of care.
• Litmus test:
  • If it helps you function better for others (family, work, community) = care.
  • If it only benefits you in the moment, selfishly or superficially = indulgence.
• Gray Areas: Some activities (exercise, TV, PTO days) depend on intent and balance.

Personal Examples

• Her self-care: Waking up early before the family—quiet time for prayer, planning, preparation.
• Her indulgence: Soda, used for stress relief (“self-medicating” after hard days).
• His indulgence: Occasional drinks, pizza/ice cream, driving with windows down.
• Shared indulgence: Falling asleep watching TV together—fun bonding, but rarely “care.”
• His self-care: Exercise, reading/listening to books, keeping up on news, taking PTO breaks.

Podcasting: Care or Indulgence?

• They conclude podcasting leans toward self-care, since it adds purpose, creativity, and could benefit listeners—not just themselves.

Closing Thought

• The key distinction: Self-care benefits both you and others long-term. Self-indulgence benefits you short-term.
• Message to listeners: If you enjoyed the episode, share it with one other person—that’s good “self-care” for the podcast community too.

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Any views expressed on this podcast are those solely of the hosts and is for entertainment purposes only. None of the content is medical advice or financial advice.

Special thanks to Tim Wright aka CoLD SToRAGE for his permission to use the song Operatique.