#60 How to Stop Shrinking for People Who Knew the Old You

You’ve grown — but others still expect the old you. If you’ve been shrinking to keep the peace, this episode helps you stop self-editing and start honoring who you’ve become, without apology.

You’ve evolved. But the people around you — family, clients, old colleagues — still relate to the version of you that no longer exists. And without realizing it, you begin shrinking. You soften your words. You avoid saying what’s true. You tone it down to keep connection intact.

But here’s the truth: shrinking doesn’t preserve connection — it fractures authenticity.

In this episode of Identity-Level Recalibration, Julie Holly helps you name this stretch with compassion and clarity. You’ll learn why your nervous system resists visibility, how “don’t be too much” becomes a quiet script, and what to do when you feel the pull to edit your voice or shrink your spark.

You’ll also hear how Julie navigated a personal season of outgrowing a table she once set — and why honoring identity growth sometimes means releasing roles that no longer align.

This episode is a deep exhale for anyone who’s tired of self-abandoning for the sake of loyalty, image, or familiarity. If you’ve been shrinking — even subtly — this is your permission to stop.

In This Episode, We Cover:

• Why we shrink even when we’re proud of our growth
• The nervous system’s hidden role in tone-policing yourself
• “Don’t be too much” — how it shapes our identity expression
• Julie’s personal experience of outgrowing a table she created
• How to model identity integrity in leadership and life
• Why alignment requires visibility — even when it’s uncomfortable
• A fresh take on Michelle Obama’s Becoming and identity as evolution
• How ILR helps you outgrow survival roles and honor your next chapter

Today’s Micro-Recalibration:

Ask yourself:

• Where have I been shrinking so others don’t feel stretched?
• Where am I still apologizing for who I’ve become?

Anchor this:
“Shrinking doesn’t preserve connection. It fractures authenticity.”

If people look to you — whether in your family, your workplace, or your friend group — you’re shaping culture. Model what it looks like to stand in your integrity. Not arrogantly, but unapologetically.

Let them see the real you — even if they’re still catching up to her.

If this episode gave you language you’ve been missing, please rate and review the show so more high-capacity humans can find it.

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