Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Brittany (00:00):
Hey mama.
(00:03):
Welcome to the Inside Out Mamaspodcast.
I'm Brittany Turley, mom of six,and I know what it's like to
feel stuck and overwhelmedtrying to be the perfect mom,
but everything changed for mewhen I learned that small
changes on the inside can bringbig results on the outside.
Each week I will share simple,yet powerful inside shifts or
(00:25):
outside tips that can transformyour approach to mothering,
helping you thrive from theinside out.
Ready to ditch the mom guilt andenjoy this season of life.
You are in the right place.
One of the purposes of mybusiness is to help moms feel
peace in motherhood.
(00:45):
What comes to your mind when youthink of the word peace?
Are you thinking of moments whenall your children are asleep and
you have just a few moments torelax at the end of a long day?
Is peace when you see yourchildren playing together
without fighting and you're ableto spend a moment reading or
(01:11):
doing something you want to do.
Is peace when you're able to goto the bathroom without someone
knocking on the door.
Oftentimes when we think of theword peace, I think we think of
situations.
Maybe globally we think of peaceand being, there's no war and
people are getting along.
We think of peace.
(01:33):
Our homes, as in nobody'sfighting.
Everybody's doing what they'resupposed to be doing without
questioning your direction orthe things you're asking them to
do, and they're talking kindlyto one another.
There's no messes being made, noclutter around the house.
Everybody picks up their thingsas soon as they're done with
(01:54):
them.
Is that a vision of peace?
Peace is actually an emotion.
It comes from within.
It's something that we feelinside of us.
We can feel peace no matter whatis going on in our situation
(02:17):
around us.
Peace is not the end goal.
Once everything is handled, itis something that we foster and
grow in the middle of it all.
Today I wanna talk about sevenways that we can foster and
expand peace in our daily lives.
In a previous episode, I talkedabout how we can build more joy
(02:42):
into our lives and ways we canhelp ourselves feel more joy,
because joy is also an emotion.
And as I was thinking aboutpeace, I realized that the ways
we can foster and grow peace arevery similar to the ways we can
foster and grow joy.
(03:02):
So I'm going to.
Review the ones that we used forjoy.
And then I have two more to addAs I was thinking about peace
and times when I feel most atpeace at motherhood.
It's when some of these samethings are happening, and I'm
going to call these things peaceexpanders.
(03:23):
So peace expander number one isconnection.
I feel peace when I am ignoringall of the things, calling my
attention around me to spend amoment, allowing my daughter to
show me the setup she made withher toys and explain all the
details to me.
Or when I am eye to eye with oneof my children and they're
(03:44):
sharing something they've doneor talking to me and we're
connecting, I feel peace.
Peace expander Number two isbeing aligned with our values.
For example, I have felt peacewhen I'm teaching a child to
notice what is going on with thepeople around them and noticing
(04:05):
where they can help because thataligns with our family value of
service when we're aligned withour values or when we're
teaching our kids how to aligntheir lives with our family
values.
That brings peace, peaceexpander.
Number three, being in thepresent moment.
This is very similar toconnection, but I think it is
(04:27):
just a tiny bit different.
We can connect without stoppingeverything we're doing.
We can connect even over textmessages or a phone call, but I
feel like being in the presentmoment is even deeper
connection.
This one is a harder one for mebecause I'm a very forward
thinker.
I'm a planner.
I'm.
(04:47):
Always thinking ahead, whichmakes being in the moment
something I really have to workat.
But I've noticed that when I,for example, stop replying to my
text message on my phone, or Idry my hands and stop cleaning
the dishes, or I stop foldingthe laundry, even though.
I've been folding laundry solong, I know how to fold it
(05:07):
without even looking at itmostly.
And I give my full attention, myeyes, my hands, and my body to
my child as they tell me thedetails about their day.
I feel more peace than I wouldhave if I had completed the task
while listening to them.
The fourth piece expander isgratitude.
(05:28):
We have a sign in our home thatsays gratitude changes attitude,
and I have found that to be verytrue.
When I'm focused on, what I'mgrateful for, and the things
that I do have, the things thatI am struggling with have less
power in my mind, and I'm ableto feel more peaceful more
often.
The fifth piece expander isserving others.
(05:53):
This is similar to gratitude,but when we shift our focus from
what is stressing us out andfocus on how we can help others,
it seems to make our own burdensfeel lighter.
I fully realize how hard thisone can seem.
I have struggled with this onefor years because as a mom,
you're already literally servingall day.
(06:15):
Sometimes all night.
So it's hard to even figure outwhat is happening outside of
your own family's needs.
And it can seem reallyoverwhelming.
And I struggled with thisthought for years of, well, how
can I possibly serve?
I'm so overwhelmed with what'sjust happening here, and all I
do is serve anyway.
The solution I found was tostart in my family.
(06:38):
I would see how I can serve indifferent ways than I was
already serving in, inunexpected ways, like doing one
of my kids' chores for them as asurprise or.
Being in the right place at theright time to support someone
when they maybe weren'texpecting it, something small.
(06:59):
Within my own family, it stillgives me the same peace as if I
were to go outside of my familyand find a way to serve.
Now, those were all the onesthat were also connected to
feeling joy, but as I wasthinking and researching about
peace, I came up with two more.
So peace expander.
Number six is to be kind toyourself.
(07:23):
I talk about this in one of myprevious episodes about being
your own best friend.
When we offer ourselves the sameencouragement and grace a friend
would, we will be in a bettermental state to create and grow
peace because we won't befilling this.
Inner contention all the time.
If we think about peace as in astate where there is no war or
(07:46):
no contention, but inside ofourselves, we're kind of at war
with ourselves because we're,you know, trying our best to do
this thing, but then beatingourselves up on the back end
saying, well, why didn't you dothis?
Or, you could have done thatbetter, or, I can't believe that
you couldn't pull this together.
So when we are kind to ourself,when we're treating ourself like
(08:06):
our own best friend, weeliminate that inner conflict
and that allows us to feel peacemuch easier.
The seventh piece expander istrusting yourself.
I also talk about this in one ofmy earlier podcast episodes, but
(08:27):
knowing and trusting that youare the perfect mom for your
kids, and that what you have tooffer is just what they're
needing.
Knowing that you are doing yourvery best and no more is needed.
I think too often we fall intothe trap of thinking, well, if
my kids had a different mom,then these things wouldn't be
(08:49):
happening because they wouldparent them better than me and
they would be able to do thesethings that I can't do, which is
just not true.
Trusting that.
You made this child and there'sa reason this child is with you.
In the Love and Logic books,they talk about how it's
important for parents to get toa point where they really.
(09:13):
Believe in themselves and cansay, I did good by that kid.
Knowing that you gave themeverything you could.
You taught them the best thatyou knew how, and you gave them
the skills that they needed tobe successful.
And being sure in that, evenwhen they make choices that you
(09:34):
don't agree with or go againstwhat you taught them.
Now, this was not an overnightchange for me, but as I've stuck
with the thought that I can domy best and be confident that it
was enough for my kids tothrive, makes peace so much
easier to feel rather thanconstantly tormenting myself
thinking.
I didn't do enough and my kids'choices are all my fault.
(09:56):
This is especially coming trueas my kids are growing older and
making their own choices andbecoming adults, and I am
feeling peace that I taught themthe very best way I knew how,
and it was enough.
Trusting ourselves that we arecapable of parenting that we're.
(10:19):
Capable of figuring things outthat we don't know and that our
best is really good enough.
As a mother, life is so full andbusy.
It's easy to just think thatwe're never feeling peace.
I think that I felt peace moretimes than I recognized or
(10:43):
slowed down enough toacknowledge, because I often had
the mentality that peace was theend goal.
I would think to myself, if Icould just get through today,
then after the kid's all in bed,then I will feel peace.
Or if I can just get throughthis crazy week and then on the
(11:03):
weekend when my husband's notworking, then I will fill peace.
And more often than not, thatactually didn't happen.
Something would happen.
It was.
Usually in the middle of thebusyness of life that I remember
feeling peaceful moments themost and I was usually involved
in one or more of these peaceexpanders.
(11:26):
When we take a moment to look atwhen we have done any of these
peace expanding things, I thinkthat we will find more moments
than we realized.
Remember, peace comes fromwithin.
Peace is not the end goal.
Once everything is handled, itis something that we foster and
(11:47):
grow in the middle of it all.
Now because I believe smallchanges on the inside bring big
results on the outside.
Each week on my podcast, I'mgoing to give you a small change
challenge, something small youcould do throughout the week if
you choose, that could end upbringing big results to your
life.
So the small change challengefor this week is to choose one
(12:10):
of these peace expanders and todo one this week to help you
expand the moments of peace inyour week.
Remember, small changes on theinside, bring big results on the
outside.
If you found this episode or anyof them valuable, please share
with other mamas we'd love toserve as many mamas as we can.
(12:32):
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of Inside Out
Mamas.
My hope is that our timetogether inspires more feelings
of peace, confidence, and joy inyour mama journey.
Be sure to subscribe so younever miss a show.
And if you're ready to takethese insights even deeper, head
over to brittany turleycoaching.com to check out my
(12:54):
digital workshop.
Designed to help you reducedaily mom overwhelm without
adding to your to-do list.
Thanks for listening.
And remember, small changes onthe inside, bring big results on
the outside.
Hey mama.
(00:03):
Welcome to the Inside Out Mamaspodcast.
I'm Brittany Turley, mom of six,and I know what it's like to
feel stuck and overwhelmedtrying to be the perfect mom,
but everything changed for mewhen I learned that small
changes on the inside can bringbig results on the outside.
Each week I will share simple,yet powerful inside shifts or
(00:25):
outside tips that can transformyour approach to mothering,
helping you thrive from theinside out.
Ready to ditch the mom guilt andenjoy this season of life.
You are in the right place.
One of the purposes of mybusiness is to help moms feel
peace in motherhood.
(00:45):
What comes to your mind when youthink of the word peace?
Are you thinking of moments whenall your children are asleep and
you have just a few moments torelax at the end of a long day?
Is peace when you see yourchildren playing together
without fighting and you're ableto spend a moment reading or
(01:11):
doing something you want to do.
Is peace when you're able to goto the bathroom without someone
knocking on the door.
Oftentimes when we think of theword peace, I think we think of
situations.
Maybe globally we think of peaceand being, there's no war and
people are getting along.
We think of peace.
(01:33):
Our homes, as in nobody'sfighting.
Everybody's doing what they'resupposed to be doing without
questioning your direction orthe things you're asking them to
do, and they're talking kindlyto one another.
There's no messes being made, noclutter around the house.
Everybody picks up their thingsas soon as they're done with
(01:54):
them.
Is that a vision of peace?
Peace is actually an emotion.
It comes from within.
It's something that we feelinside of us.
We can feel peace no matter whatis going on in our situation
(02:17):
around us.
Peace is not the end goal.
Once everything is handled, itis something that we foster and
grow in the middle of it all.
Today I wanna talk about sevenways that we can foster and
expand peace in our daily lives.
In a previous episode, I talkedabout how we can build more joy
(02:42):
into our lives and ways we canhelp ourselves feel more joy,
because joy is also an emotion.
And as I was thinking aboutpeace, I realized that the ways
we can foster and grow peace arevery similar to the ways we can
foster and grow joy.
(03:02):
So I'm going to.
Review the ones that we used forjoy.
And then I have two more to addAs I was thinking about peace
and times when I feel most atpeace at motherhood.
It's when some of these samethings are happening, and I'm
going to call these things peaceexpanders.
(03:23):
So peace expander number one isconnection.
I feel peace when I am ignoringall of the things, calling my
attention around me to spend amoment, allowing my daughter to
show me the setup she made withher toys and explain all the
details to me.
Or when I am eye to eye with oneof my children and they're
(03:44):
sharing something they've doneor talking to me and we're
connecting, I feel peace.
Peace expander Number two isbeing aligned with our values.
For example, I have felt peacewhen I'm teaching a child to
notice what is going on with thepeople around them and noticing
(04:05):
where they can help because thataligns with our family value of
service when we're aligned withour values or when we're
teaching our kids how to aligntheir lives with our family
values.
That brings peace, peaceexpander.
Number three, being in thepresent moment.
This is very similar toconnection, but I think it is
(04:27):
just a tiny bit different.
We can connect without stoppingeverything we're doing.
We can connect even over textmessages or a phone call, but I
feel like being in the presentmoment is even deeper
connection.
This one is a harder one for mebecause I'm a very forward
thinker.
I'm a planner.
I'm.
(04:47):
Always thinking ahead, whichmakes being in the moment
something I really have to workat.
But I've noticed that when I,for example, stop replying to my
text message on my phone, or Idry my hands and stop cleaning
the dishes, or I stop foldingthe laundry, even though.
I've been folding laundry solong, I know how to fold it
(05:07):
without even looking at itmostly.
And I give my full attention, myeyes, my hands, and my body to
my child as they tell me thedetails about their day.
I feel more peace than I wouldhave if I had completed the task
while listening to them.
The fourth piece expander isgratitude.
(05:28):
We have a sign in our home thatsays gratitude changes attitude,
and I have found that to be verytrue.
When I'm focused on, what I'mgrateful for, and the things
that I do have, the things thatI am struggling with have less
power in my mind, and I'm ableto feel more peaceful more
often.
The fifth piece expander isserving others.
(05:53):
This is similar to gratitude,but when we shift our focus from
what is stressing us out andfocus on how we can help others,
it seems to make our own burdensfeel lighter.
I fully realize how hard thisone can seem.
I have struggled with this onefor years because as a mom,
you're already literally servingall day.
(06:15):
Sometimes all night.
So it's hard to even figure outwhat is happening outside of
your own family's needs.
And it can seem reallyoverwhelming.
And I struggled with thisthought for years of, well, how
can I possibly serve?
I'm so overwhelmed with what'sjust happening here, and all I
do is serve anyway.
The solution I found was tostart in my family.
(06:38):
I would see how I can serve indifferent ways than I was
already serving in, inunexpected ways, like doing one
of my kids' chores for them as asurprise or.
Being in the right place at theright time to support someone
when they maybe weren'texpecting it, something small.
(06:59):
Within my own family, it stillgives me the same peace as if I
were to go outside of my familyand find a way to serve.
Now, those were all the onesthat were also connected to
feeling joy, but as I wasthinking and researching about
peace, I came up with two more.
So peace expander.
Number six is to be kind toyourself.
(07:23):
I talk about this in one of myprevious episodes about being
your own best friend.
When we offer ourselves the sameencouragement and grace a friend
would, we will be in a bettermental state to create and grow
peace because we won't befilling this.
Inner contention all the time.
If we think about peace as in astate where there is no war or
(07:46):
no contention, but inside ofourselves, we're kind of at war
with ourselves because we're,you know, trying our best to do
this thing, but then beatingourselves up on the back end
saying, well, why didn't you dothis?
Or, you could have done thatbetter, or, I can't believe that
you couldn't pull this together.
So when we are kind to ourself,when we're treating ourself like
(08:06):
our own best friend, weeliminate that inner conflict
and that allows us to feel peacemuch easier.
The seventh piece expander istrusting yourself.
I also talk about this in one ofmy earlier podcast episodes, but
(08:27):
knowing and trusting that youare the perfect mom for your
kids, and that what you have tooffer is just what they're
needing.
Knowing that you are doing yourvery best and no more is needed.
I think too often we fall intothe trap of thinking, well, if
my kids had a different mom,then these things wouldn't be
(08:49):
happening because they wouldparent them better than me and
they would be able to do thesethings that I can't do, which is
just not true.
Trusting that.
You made this child and there'sa reason this child is with you.
In the Love and Logic books,they talk about how it's
important for parents to get toa point where they really.
(09:13):
Believe in themselves and cansay, I did good by that kid.
Knowing that you gave themeverything you could.
You taught them the best thatyou knew how, and you gave them
the skills that they needed tobe successful.
And being sure in that, evenwhen they make choices that you
(09:34):
don't agree with or go againstwhat you taught them.
Now, this was not an overnightchange for me, but as I've stuck
with the thought that I can domy best and be confident that it
was enough for my kids tothrive, makes peace so much
easier to feel rather thanconstantly tormenting myself
thinking.
I didn't do enough and my kids'choices are all my fault.
(09:56):
This is especially coming trueas my kids are growing older and
making their own choices andbecoming adults, and I am
feeling peace that I taught themthe very best way I knew how,
and it was enough.
Trusting ourselves that we arecapable of parenting that we're.
(10:19):
Capable of figuring things outthat we don't know and that our
best is really good enough.
As a mother, life is so full andbusy.
It's easy to just think thatwe're never feeling peace.
I think that I felt peace moretimes than I recognized or
(10:43):
slowed down enough toacknowledge, because I often had
the mentality that peace was theend goal.
I would think to myself, if Icould just get through today,
then after the kid's all in bed,then I will feel peace.
Or if I can just get throughthis crazy week and then on the
(11:03):
weekend when my husband's notworking, then I will fill peace.
And more often than not, thatactually didn't happen.
Something would happen.
It was.
Usually in the middle of thebusyness of life that I remember
feeling peaceful moments themost and I was usually involved
in one or more of these peaceexpanders.
(11:26):
When we take a moment to look atwhen we have done any of these
peace expanding things, I thinkthat we will find more moments
than we realized.
Remember, peace comes fromwithin.
Peace is not the end goal.
Once everything is handled, itis something that we foster and
(11:47):
grow in the middle of it all.
Now because I believe smallchanges on the inside bring big
results on the outside.
Each week on my podcast, I'mgoing to give you a small change
challenge, something small youcould do throughout the week if
you choose, that could end upbringing big results to your
life.
So the small change challengefor this week is to choose one
(12:10):
of these peace expanders and todo one this week to help you
expand the moments of peace inyour week.
Remember, small changes on theinside, bring big results on the
outside.
If you found this episode or anyof them valuable, please share
with other mamas we'd love toserve as many mamas as we can.
(12:32):
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of Inside Out
Mamas.
My hope is that our timetogether inspires more feelings
of peace, confidence, and joy inyour mama journey.
Be sure to subscribe so younever miss a show.
And if you're ready to takethese insights even deeper, head
over to brittany turleycoaching.com to check out my
(12:54):
digital workshop.
Designed to help you reducedaily mom overwhelm without
adding to your to-do list.
Thanks for listening.
And remember, small changes onthe inside, bring big results on
the outside.
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