Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hey mama, welcome to the insideout mama's podcast.
I'm Brittany Turley, mom of six,and I know what it's like to
feel stuck and overwhelmedtrying to be the perfect mom.
But everything changed for mewhen I learned that small
changes on the inside can bringbig results on the outside.
Each week, I will share simpleyet powerful inside shifts or
(00:25):
outside tips that can transformyour approach to mothering,
helping you thrive from theinside out.
Ready to ditch the mom guilt andenjoy this season of life?
You're in the right place.
Brittany (00:39):
I remember being very fearful when The nurse hands me
my newborn and we get to leavethe hospital with this baby and
feeling some panic like wait, Idon't even know what I'm doing
here.
How am I going to keep heralive?
I think as a mom, one of ourbiggest fears.
is the thinking that we don'tknow what we're doing and that
(01:02):
if we don't know what we'redoing then we will mess up our
whole kid's lives.
I definitely spent a lot ofyears feeling this way.
It started with the newbornbaby, worrying how to keep her
alive, and then it graduallyturned into making sure that I
taught her all the things thatshe needs to know with exactly
the right time and the right wayand thinking if I didn't do it
(01:25):
right that she wouldn't thrive.
I wanted her to be able to be acontributing member of society,
and to have a successful life,and I felt responsible for
making sure that was somethingthat could happen for her, that
if I didn't teach her all theright things in all the right
(01:46):
ways.
that it wouldn't happen.
So I would read lots of booksand talk to lots of moms and get
a lot of information and trydifferent things.
While all of those things aregood, and they definitely helped
me learn and have moreexperience, it didn't help the
(02:07):
fear of not knowing what I wasdoing.
I think often as moms, we thinkwe have to Parent correctly and
teach them all the right thingswith the right technique.
And if we don't, then we willmess up our kids lives.
Now let's just stop here for amoment and look at this whole
(02:30):
kind of scenario from adifferent perspective.
As a teen, did you think youwere going to learn everything
you needed to learn from yourparents?
As an adult, would you say thatall your knowledge and
accomplishments were because ofonly what your parents taught
you?
(02:51):
If you take a moment to thinkabout what shaped you into who
you are today, was it just yourparents?
Or was it also friends, andteachers, and mentors, and
experiences, and failures?
and successes, and books, and somany other things.
(03:11):
The reality is, that what weknow and the success that we've
had and the things we've beenable to accomplish is not just
from our parents, but anaccumulation from all the
experiences and knowledge we'vegained from lots of different
places.
For example my high school trackcoaches taught me how pushing
(03:32):
myself past what I thought wascomfortable or what I thought I
could accomplish or do helped megain more strength and stamina
and achieve more than I hadoriginally thought possible.
They taught me that I had topush past my comfort zone to
continue to grow both physicallyand mentally.
(03:55):
That was a valuable life lessonthat I have continued to build
on throughout my life that Ididn't actually learn from my
parents.
Not that they couldn't havetaught me that, but I was able
to have that learning experiencethrough track and my coaches.
(04:19):
If you think about it, it'sactually valuable to have many
perspectives and experiencesguiding your learning and growth
rather than learning everythingfrom one person and one
perspective.
I have found this thought veryhelpful.
It's not about knowingeverything right to do.
but about being one influenceamong many.
(04:40):
It's so freeing as a mom torealize all I have to do is love
my kids and do my very best tofacilitate their learning and
growth and helping them even ifI mess up and that everything is
going to be okay, that they arestrong humans, they will figure
it out just like everyone elsedoes, and they can be wildly
(05:01):
successful.
No parents are perfect and yetpeople are still amazing,
contributing humans.
Another thought that's reallyhelped me is to think about how
nobody really knows what they'redoing, whether they're parenting
or anything else.
Everybody's just taking theinformation and knowledge that
they have so far and makingguesses and trying things out
(05:24):
and doing their very best.
With kids, every single kid isdifferent.
And so you could become anexpert at one kid, and then the
next kid comes along.
And you don't know what you'redoing again, because they're
different and they havedifferent needs and they have a
different personality and theyneed to be parented a different
way.
They need to be loved adifferent way.
(05:45):
I've had comments before abouthow, since I have so many kids,
I must really know what I'mdoing.
And while I have a lot of yearsof experience and I have learned
a lot.
Lots by trial and error,mistakes, failures, and trying
again.
I have never been in thiscurrent phase of motherhood that
I'm in with my children rightnow.
(06:05):
Never had kids in these exactages having these exact
experiences.
And so, I still don't know whatI'm doing.
I do have more experiences tohelp me guess what would be the
best, but I don't know what I'mdoing.
I'm doing my best to be the mommy kids are needing at these
stages, and that's all I need todo.
(06:28):
You could also think about itthis way.
That being concerned that youdon't know what you're doing is
not a sign of failure.
But it's actually a sign thatyou're paying attention and you
really care.
If you thought you hadeverything figured out, maybe
you'd miss some important cluesfrom your kids on where things
need to be adjusted to be moreeffective.
(06:49):
So you being concerned that youdon't know what you're doing or
allowing yourself to be okay notknowing what you're doing is a
sign that you are a great mom.
That's a good thought.
Now, because I believe smallchanges on the inside bring big
results on the outside, eachweek on my podcast I'm going to
(07:09):
give you A small changechallenge, something small you
could do throughout the week ifyou choose that could end up
bringing big results to yourlife.
So the small change challengefor this week is when the
feeling of not knowing whatyou're doing or not knowing the
perfect path forward onsomething comes up for you this
(07:30):
week.
Be proud of yourself fornoticing and caring so much.
Then set yourself free byreminding yourself it's not all
on you to teach your kidseverything.
They will learn in many otherways from many other people and
experiences.
Nothing has gone wrong here.
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of Inside Out
(07:53):
Mamas.
My hope is that our timetogether inspires more feelings
of peace, confidence, and joy inyour mama journey.
Be sure to subscribe so younever miss a show.
And if you're ready to takethese insights even deeper, head
over to brittanyturleycoaching.
com to check out my digitalworkshop designed to help you
(08:13):
reduce daily mom overwhelmwithout adding to your to do
list.
Thanks for listening, andremember, Small changes on the
inside bring big results on theoutside.
Hey mama, welcome to the insideout mama's podcast.
I'm Brittany Turley, mom of six,and I know what it's like to
feel stuck and overwhelmedtrying to be the perfect mom.
But everything changed for mewhen I learned that small
changes on the inside can bringbig results on the outside.
Each week, I will share simpleyet powerful inside shifts or
(00:25):
outside tips that can transformyour approach to mothering,
helping you thrive from theinside out.
Ready to ditch the mom guilt andenjoy this season of life?
You're in the right place.
Brittany (00:39):
I remember being very fearful when The nurse hands me
my newborn and we get to leavethe hospital with this baby and
feeling some panic like wait, Idon't even know what I'm doing
here.
How am I going to keep heralive?
I think as a mom, one of ourbiggest fears.
is the thinking that we don'tknow what we're doing and that
(01:02):
if we don't know what we'redoing then we will mess up our
whole kid's lives.
I definitely spent a lot ofyears feeling this way.
It started with the newbornbaby, worrying how to keep her
alive, and then it graduallyturned into making sure that I
taught her all the things thatshe needs to know with exactly
the right time and the right wayand thinking if I didn't do it
(01:25):
right that she wouldn't thrive.
I wanted her to be able to be acontributing member of society,
and to have a successful life,and I felt responsible for
making sure that was somethingthat could happen for her, that
if I didn't teach her all theright things in all the right
(01:46):
ways.
that it wouldn't happen.
So I would read lots of booksand talk to lots of moms and get
a lot of information and trydifferent things.
While all of those things aregood, and they definitely helped
me learn and have moreexperience, it didn't help the
(02:07):
fear of not knowing what I wasdoing.
I think often as moms, we thinkwe have to Parent correctly and
teach them all the right thingswith the right technique.
And if we don't, then we willmess up our kids lives.
Now let's just stop here for amoment and look at this whole
(02:30):
kind of scenario from adifferent perspective.
As a teen, did you think youwere going to learn everything
you needed to learn from yourparents?
As an adult, would you say thatall your knowledge and
accomplishments were because ofonly what your parents taught
you?
(02:51):
If you take a moment to thinkabout what shaped you into who
you are today, was it just yourparents?
Or was it also friends, andteachers, and mentors, and
experiences, and failures?
and successes, and books, and somany other things.
(03:11):
The reality is, that what weknow and the success that we've
had and the things we've beenable to accomplish is not just
from our parents, but anaccumulation from all the
experiences and knowledge we'vegained from lots of different
places.
For example my high school trackcoaches taught me how pushing
(03:32):
myself past what I thought wascomfortable or what I thought I
could accomplish or do helped megain more strength and stamina
and achieve more than I hadoriginally thought possible.
They taught me that I had topush past my comfort zone to
continue to grow both physicallyand mentally.
(03:55):
That was a valuable life lessonthat I have continued to build
on throughout my life that Ididn't actually learn from my
parents.
Not that they couldn't havetaught me that, but I was able
to have that learning experiencethrough track and my coaches.
(04:19):
If you think about it, it'sactually valuable to have many
perspectives and experiencesguiding your learning and growth
rather than learning everythingfrom one person and one
perspective.
I have found this thought veryhelpful.
It's not about knowingeverything right to do.
but about being one influenceamong many.
(04:40):
It's so freeing as a mom torealize all I have to do is love
my kids and do my very best tofacilitate their learning and
growth and helping them even ifI mess up and that everything is
going to be okay, that they arestrong humans, they will figure
it out just like everyone elsedoes, and they can be wildly
(05:01):
successful.
No parents are perfect and yetpeople are still amazing,
contributing humans.
Another thought that's reallyhelped me is to think about how
nobody really knows what they'redoing, whether they're parenting
or anything else.
Everybody's just taking theinformation and knowledge that
they have so far and makingguesses and trying things out
(05:24):
and doing their very best.
With kids, every single kid isdifferent.
And so you could become anexpert at one kid, and then the
next kid comes along.
And you don't know what you'redoing again, because they're
different and they havedifferent needs and they have a
different personality and theyneed to be parented a different
way.
They need to be loved adifferent way.
(05:45):
I've had comments before abouthow, since I have so many kids,
I must really know what I'mdoing.
And while I have a lot of yearsof experience and I have learned
a lot.
Lots by trial and error,mistakes, failures, and trying
again.
I have never been in thiscurrent phase of motherhood that
I'm in with my children rightnow.
(06:05):
Never had kids in these exactages having these exact
experiences.
And so, I still don't know whatI'm doing.
I do have more experiences tohelp me guess what would be the
best, but I don't know what I'mdoing.
I'm doing my best to be the mommy kids are needing at these
stages, and that's all I need todo.
(06:28):
You could also think about itthis way.
That being concerned that youdon't know what you're doing is
not a sign of failure.
But it's actually a sign thatyou're paying attention and you
really care.
If you thought you hadeverything figured out, maybe
you'd miss some important cluesfrom your kids on where things
need to be adjusted to be moreeffective.
(06:49):
So you being concerned that youdon't know what you're doing or
allowing yourself to be okay notknowing what you're doing is a
sign that you are a great mom.
That's a good thought.
Now, because I believe smallchanges on the inside bring big
results on the outside, eachweek on my podcast I'm going to
(07:09):
give you A small changechallenge, something small you
could do throughout the week ifyou choose that could end up
bringing big results to yourlife.
So the small change challengefor this week is when the
feeling of not knowing whatyou're doing or not knowing the
perfect path forward onsomething comes up for you this
(07:30):
week.
Be proud of yourself fornoticing and caring so much.
Then set yourself free byreminding yourself it's not all
on you to teach your kidseverything.
They will learn in many otherways from many other people and
experiences.
Nothing has gone wrong here.
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of Inside Out
(07:53):
Mamas.
My hope is that our timetogether inspires more feelings
of peace, confidence, and joy inyour mama journey.
Be sure to subscribe so younever miss a show.
And if you're ready to takethese insights even deeper, head
over to brittanyturleycoaching.
com to check out my digitalworkshop designed to help you
(08:13):
reduce daily mom overwhelmwithout adding to your to do
list.
Thanks for listening, andremember, Small changes on the
inside bring big results on theoutside.
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