Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Brittany (00:00):
Hey mama.
(00:03):
Welcome to the Inside Out Mamaspodcast.
I'm Brittany Turley, mom of six,and I know what it's like to
feel stuck and overwhelmedtrying to be the perfect mom,
but everything changed for mewhen I learned that small
changes on the inside can bringbig results on the outside.
Each week I will share simple,yet powerful inside shifts or
(00:25):
outside tips that can transformyour approach to mothering,
helping you thrive from theinside out.
Ready to ditch the mom guilt andenjoy this season of life.
You are in the right place.
School's almost out, and I don'tknow about you, but for me, it
(00:45):
brings a mix of excitement andanxiousness.
I feel excitement because it'smy turn with my kids.
I get to be with them more.
I get more time to teach themthings that I think will help
them, and we won't have therigorous school schedule.
But I also feel anxious.
(01:06):
I feel anxious because of allthe change that summer brings.
Being with my kids is wonderful,but is also more demanding of my
energy, of my time.
They're coming off of a setschool schedule where they're
used to being told what to doall day long, and now they have
free time, and there is always atransition there of them not
(01:29):
knowing how to handle that andcomplaining about being bored
all the time.
Which every summer tricks me,and at first I think, oh, I have
to entertain them.
I need to get them inactivities.
I need to help them do things.
And then I come back to myself,and I remember that being bored
is good for them, and they justneed to remember this skill of
(01:50):
entertaining themselves.
So as we prepare for summercoming, I wanted to share a
strategy that has made a hugedifference for me and my kids.
It's simple, but it's a verypowerful strategy that helps
reduce my overwhelm, replenishmy energy.
It helps my kids build theirindependence.
(02:11):
It helps them learn how to becalm without a screen and it
prevents evening meltdowns forboth me and my kids.
So the original idea for thisstrategy comes from the book on
becoming baby wise, and theysuggest giving crib time.
To your babies.
(02:32):
It's basically a time where youput the baby in the crib, not
for a nap, but for time for themto play on their own, to be with
themselves and to learn someindependence.
It also gives mom a littlebreak.
I did this strategy fairlyregularly with my babies and I
saw the benefits of it.
When my oldest came home fromthe school for the frist summer
(02:54):
I noticed that it was a hardtransition.
She was coming from havingsomething to do almost the
entire day and being told whatto do when to now having all of
this free time.
And she wanted me to entertainher all day long.
So when the babies would havenap time, I would often play
with her during that time andkind of give her special time.
(03:15):
We would play card games becausethat's what she loved to do, and
this worked pretty well, exceptI never got time to be alone or
recharge.
And I was used to having somedowntime because she had been at
school all day and the youngerbabies and kids would have at
(03:36):
least an hour nap where I couldhave time to myself to do
something I needed to do, getsome work done I needed to do,
or just read a book or relax.
I started to realize that notonly did I wanna spend
one-on-one time with her, but Ialso needed some time and she
needed.
To learn how to have time on herown.
(03:58):
So this is when what I calldowntime was created in our
home.
And what we would do is thosewho still had naps would go down
for a nap, and those who didn'thave naps would have.
Downtime at the same time, theywould go to their room, or if
they were sharing a room, theywould go to another place in the
house and they could read, theycould look at books, they could
(04:22):
do puzzles, they could play withquiet toys.
I would often get audio booksfrom the library.
Ones that they could followalong with, or even ones they
could just listen to.
I also, as they got a littleolder, would at the beginning of
the summer, take my kids to likea craft store and let them, each
pick out some kind of a newcraft or a little project that
(04:44):
they could work on on their own,like little wooden cars that
they would put together orRainbow Loom, just something
they could do on their own thatwasn't very physically demanding
of them, and that was quietenough so that the napping kids
could nap.
Then for me, when everyone elsewas having downtime, I could use
(05:05):
that time however I wanted.
If I needed a shower,'cause Ihadn't gotten one in that day, I
would do that.
Sometimes I would spend thattime reading, sometimes I would
use that time to work on aproject I was working on, or
sometimes I would just get donestuff that I needed to do.
Downtime lasted for one hour.
It was just one hour when all ofus could just have a break.
(05:28):
A break from the hot sun, abreak from all the activities
and all the exerting of energyand a break from each other.
And even though it takes a lotof effort sometimes to get
everybody to downtime, it'sstill so worth it every time.
Now, even though we've beendoing downtime for.
(05:53):
Almost two decades, and my kids,know what it is and they're used
to it.
My kids every summer still arein shock about it and so every
summer we have to adjust.
We have to spend time gettingall of us adjusted to downtime.
And they usually kind of fightme about it at first and hate it
(06:15):
and tell me that it's no goodand that they don't wanna do
downtime.
But after I'm persistent theyactually start enjoying it
because the summer months arehard.
You're outside playing or goingto a pool or doing activities,
and it's hot, and your energydrains quickly.
But you can tell as the summergoes on how they actually start
(06:37):
to enjoy that time becausereally we all need it.
We all need a break and time tojust recharge.
I've noticed as my kids getolder, it's harder and harder
because I have teens who havejobs and I have to drive them to
those jobs, and I don't get toset those schedules.
And so we've had to be way moreflexible with downtime.
(07:00):
Downtime for years at our housewas one o'clock from one o'clock
to two o'clock.
The house was down and.
We didn't have friends over andeverybody took a break right
after lunch.
Now we have to be more flexibleabout it.
And sometimes downtime.
It doesn't happen till threeo'clock, and sometimes we don't
even get downtime during the daybecause of the activities going
(07:23):
on or wherever people need tobe.
We're out of the napper phaseso.
We have more freedom to be outof the house all day long, and
so it's been trickier, but eventhough now my youngest is seven
and my oldest, that's stillliving at home will be 16.
I still plan on having downtime.
(07:44):
Downtime does take effort.
It takes planning.
It takes patience.
But the benefits way outweighthose.
I get a chance to recharge.
My kids get a chance torecharge.
I learn how to be calm and bewith myself.
My kids learn how to be calm andbe with themselves, and they
(08:05):
learn how to be calm withoutneeding the screen to distract
them, which is so importantthese days.
I remember a couple summers agoI was really having a struggle
with it, and the older kids weretelling me how silly it was that
they had to have downtime.
None of their friends havedowntime, so baby-ish.
(08:26):
And I happened to find out froma mom that I really look up to,
and she has kids that are alittle older than my kids.
So she's further along in hermotherhood journey than me, and
I found out that her house hassomething very similar.
They all have downtime, but Ithink they all take a nap.
(08:46):
Even though her kids are older,their house also shuts down for
an hour each day, and sheactually takes a nap.
And that just gave me the energyand strength I needed to keep
pushing forward in my housebecause.
I really look up to her as a momand I see how much her kids have
thrived.
So if this is something thatyou're like, oh, this sounds
(09:09):
cool, I might wanna tryimplementing this, please
remember to just be patient withyourself and patient with your
kids.
It takes time to get them usedto, first of all, just being
home from school.
And second of all, now this newroutine.
Just be very flexible withyourself.
We are never perfect at this.
We have some weeks where it'sjust golden and we do it every
(09:31):
day and it's great.
And then we have other weekswhere everything falls apart and
we might not even get a downtimethat week, but when I do it
consistently enough, I get usedto it.
The kids get used to it, and itreally saves my sanity all
summer long.
Now because I believe smallchanges on the inside bring big
(09:51):
results on the outside.
Each week on my podcast, I'mgoing to give you a small change
challenge, something small youcould do throughout the week if
you choose, that could end upbringing big results to your
life.
So the small change challengefor this week is to make a plan
for summer for what you will doto help both you and your kids
(10:12):
get the time you need torecharge and rest amid all the
summer activities.
It doesn't have to be downtime.
This is just an idea.
You could try downtime and thenmorph it into something that
works best for your family andfor your situation.
But find some way how you'llgive yourself and your kids a
chance to rest, learn someindependence, and have time to
(10:37):
yourselves.
And remember, if the firstversion of what you decide on
doesn't end up working out, justmake changes and try again.
And as your kids grow, you'llhave to continue to morph it
into things that will work forthe new dynamics of your family.
But it's so important that bothyou and your kids have time to
(10:59):
rest.
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of Inside Out
Mamas.
My hope is that our timetogether inspires more feelings
of peace, confidence, and joy inyour mama journey.
Be sure to subscribe so younever miss a show.
And if you're ready to takethese insights even deeper, head
over to brittany turleycoaching.com to check out my
(11:22):
digital workshop.
Designed to help you reducedaily mom overwhelm without
adding to your to-do list.
Thanks for listening.
And remember, small changes onthe inside, bring big results on
the outside.
Hey mama.
(00:03):
Welcome to the Inside Out Mamaspodcast.
I'm Brittany Turley, mom of six,and I know what it's like to
feel stuck and overwhelmedtrying to be the perfect mom,
but everything changed for mewhen I learned that small
changes on the inside can bringbig results on the outside.
Each week I will share simple,yet powerful inside shifts or
(00:25):
outside tips that can transformyour approach to mothering,
helping you thrive from theinside out.
Ready to ditch the mom guilt andenjoy this season of life.
You are in the right place.
School's almost out, and I don'tknow about you, but for me, it
(00:45):
brings a mix of excitement andanxiousness.
I feel excitement because it'smy turn with my kids.
I get to be with them more.
I get more time to teach themthings that I think will help
them, and we won't have therigorous school schedule.
But I also feel anxious.
(01:06):
I feel anxious because of allthe change that summer brings.
Being with my kids is wonderful,but is also more demanding of my
energy, of my time.
They're coming off of a setschool schedule where they're
used to being told what to doall day long, and now they have
free time, and there is always atransition there of them not
(01:29):
knowing how to handle that andcomplaining about being bored
all the time.
Which every summer tricks me,and at first I think, oh, I have
to entertain them.
I need to get them inactivities.
I need to help them do things.
And then I come back to myself,and I remember that being bored
is good for them, and they justneed to remember this skill of
(01:50):
entertaining themselves.
So as we prepare for summercoming, I wanted to share a
strategy that has made a hugedifference for me and my kids.
It's simple, but it's a verypowerful strategy that helps
reduce my overwhelm, replenishmy energy.
It helps my kids build theirindependence.
(02:11):
It helps them learn how to becalm without a screen and it
prevents evening meltdowns forboth me and my kids.
So the original idea for thisstrategy comes from the book on
becoming baby wise, and theysuggest giving crib time.
To your babies.
(02:32):
It's basically a time where youput the baby in the crib, not
for a nap, but for time for themto play on their own, to be with
themselves and to learn someindependence.
It also gives mom a littlebreak.
I did this strategy fairlyregularly with my babies and I
saw the benefits of it.
When my oldest came home fromthe school for the frist summer
(02:54):
I noticed that it was a hardtransition.
She was coming from havingsomething to do almost the
entire day and being told whatto do when to now having all of
this free time.
And she wanted me to entertainher all day long.
So when the babies would havenap time, I would often play
with her during that time andkind of give her special time.
(03:15):
We would play card games becausethat's what she loved to do, and
this worked pretty well, exceptI never got time to be alone or
recharge.
And I was used to having somedowntime because she had been at
school all day and the youngerbabies and kids would have at
(03:36):
least an hour nap where I couldhave time to myself to do
something I needed to do, getsome work done I needed to do,
or just read a book or relax.
I started to realize that notonly did I wanna spend
one-on-one time with her, but Ialso needed some time and she
needed.
To learn how to have time on herown.
(03:58):
So this is when what I calldowntime was created in our
home.
And what we would do is thosewho still had naps would go down
for a nap, and those who didn'thave naps would have.
Downtime at the same time, theywould go to their room, or if
they were sharing a room, theywould go to another place in the
house and they could read, theycould look at books, they could
(04:22):
do puzzles, they could play withquiet toys.
I would often get audio booksfrom the library.
Ones that they could followalong with, or even ones they
could just listen to.
I also, as they got a littleolder, would at the beginning of
the summer, take my kids to likea craft store and let them, each
pick out some kind of a newcraft or a little project that
(04:44):
they could work on on their own,like little wooden cars that
they would put together orRainbow Loom, just something
they could do on their own thatwasn't very physically demanding
of them, and that was quietenough so that the napping kids
could nap.
Then for me, when everyone elsewas having downtime, I could use
(05:05):
that time however I wanted.
If I needed a shower,'cause Ihadn't gotten one in that day, I
would do that.
Sometimes I would spend thattime reading, sometimes I would
use that time to work on aproject I was working on, or
sometimes I would just get donestuff that I needed to do.
Downtime lasted for one hour.
It was just one hour when all ofus could just have a break.
(05:28):
A break from the hot sun, abreak from all the activities
and all the exerting of energyand a break from each other.
And even though it takes a lotof effort sometimes to get
everybody to downtime, it'sstill so worth it every time.
Now, even though we've beendoing downtime for.
(05:53):
Almost two decades, and my kids,know what it is and they're used
to it.
My kids every summer still arein shock about it and so every
summer we have to adjust.
We have to spend time gettingall of us adjusted to downtime.
And they usually kind of fightme about it at first and hate it
(06:15):
and tell me that it's no goodand that they don't wanna do
downtime.
But after I'm persistent theyactually start enjoying it
because the summer months arehard.
You're outside playing or goingto a pool or doing activities,
and it's hot, and your energydrains quickly.
But you can tell as the summergoes on how they actually start
(06:37):
to enjoy that time becausereally we all need it.
We all need a break and time tojust recharge.
I've noticed as my kids getolder, it's harder and harder
because I have teens who havejobs and I have to drive them to
those jobs, and I don't get toset those schedules.
And so we've had to be way moreflexible with downtime.
(07:00):
Downtime for years at our housewas one o'clock from one o'clock
to two o'clock.
The house was down and.
We didn't have friends over andeverybody took a break right
after lunch.
Now we have to be more flexibleabout it.
And sometimes downtime.
It doesn't happen till threeo'clock, and sometimes we don't
even get downtime during the daybecause of the activities going
(07:23):
on or wherever people need tobe.
We're out of the napper phaseso.
We have more freedom to be outof the house all day long, and
so it's been trickier, but eventhough now my youngest is seven
and my oldest, that's stillliving at home will be 16.
I still plan on having downtime.
(07:44):
Downtime does take effort.
It takes planning.
It takes patience.
But the benefits way outweighthose.
I get a chance to recharge.
My kids get a chance torecharge.
I learn how to be calm and bewith myself.
My kids learn how to be calm andbe with themselves, and they
(08:05):
learn how to be calm withoutneeding the screen to distract
them, which is so importantthese days.
I remember a couple summers agoI was really having a struggle
with it, and the older kids weretelling me how silly it was that
they had to have downtime.
None of their friends havedowntime, so baby-ish.
(08:26):
And I happened to find out froma mom that I really look up to,
and she has kids that are alittle older than my kids.
So she's further along in hermotherhood journey than me, and
I found out that her house hassomething very similar.
They all have downtime, but Ithink they all take a nap.
(08:46):
Even though her kids are older,their house also shuts down for
an hour each day, and sheactually takes a nap.
And that just gave me the energyand strength I needed to keep
pushing forward in my housebecause.
I really look up to her as a momand I see how much her kids have
thrived.
So if this is something thatyou're like, oh, this sounds
(09:09):
cool, I might wanna tryimplementing this, please
remember to just be patient withyourself and patient with your
kids.
It takes time to get them usedto, first of all, just being
home from school.
And second of all, now this newroutine.
Just be very flexible withyourself.
We are never perfect at this.
We have some weeks where it'sjust golden and we do it every
(09:31):
day and it's great.
And then we have other weekswhere everything falls apart and
we might not even get a downtimethat week, but when I do it
consistently enough, I get usedto it.
The kids get used to it, and itreally saves my sanity all
summer long.
Now because I believe smallchanges on the inside bring big
(09:51):
results on the outside.
Each week on my podcast, I'mgoing to give you a small change
challenge, something small youcould do throughout the week if
you choose, that could end upbringing big results to your
life.
So the small change challengefor this week is to make a plan
for summer for what you will doto help both you and your kids
(10:12):
get the time you need torecharge and rest amid all the
summer activities.
It doesn't have to be downtime.
This is just an idea.
You could try downtime and thenmorph it into something that
works best for your family andfor your situation.
But find some way how you'llgive yourself and your kids a
chance to rest, learn someindependence, and have time to
(10:37):
yourselves.
And remember, if the firstversion of what you decide on
doesn't end up working out, justmake changes and try again.
And as your kids grow, you'llhave to continue to morph it
into things that will work forthe new dynamics of your family.
But it's so important that bothyou and your kids have time to
(10:59):
rest.
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of Inside Out
Mamas.
My hope is that our timetogether inspires more feelings
of peace, confidence, and joy inyour mama journey.
Be sure to subscribe so younever miss a show.
And if you're ready to takethese insights even deeper, head
over to brittany turleycoaching.com to check out my
(11:22):
digital workshop.
Designed to help you reducedaily mom overwhelm without
adding to your to-do list.
Thanks for listening.
And remember, small changes onthe inside, bring big results on
the outside.
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