Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Brittany (00:01):
Hey mama, welcome to the inside out mama's podcast.
I'm Brittany Turley, mom of six,and I know what it's like to
feel stuck and overwhelmedtrying to be the perfect mom.
But everything changed for mewhen I learned that small
changes on the inside can bringbig results on the outside.
Each week, I will share simpleyet powerful inside shifts or
(00:25):
outside tips that can transformyour approach to mothering,
helping you thrive from theinside out.
Ready to ditch the mom guilt andenjoy this season of life?
You're in the right place.
It's good to be back.
Sorry I missed last week.
You can kind of still hear Ihave sickness in my voice, but
(00:46):
we have been wading through thesickness at our house, and it
hit me hard last week.
I finally went down.
I'm actually going to share alittle bit of our sickness drama
to help illustrate some thingsthis week.
So, pretty much since school wasBack in session from Christmas
(01:10):
break, so what is that, like the7th of January?
We have had someone at our homesick almost constantly.
I can think of like two dayswhere all my kids made it to
school.
Except for last week, they didmake it to school, but I was
(01:32):
sick those days, so I'm notcounting those.
We've had More days with feversin January than not.
Now we haven't had any off thecharts needing to go to the
hospital sickness.
We've just had constantsickness.
And, I was really starting tofeel overwhelmed and frustrated
(01:53):
and down about this because, youknow, one daughter would get
sick and then two days lateranother, and then the first
daughter would get better andthen three days later she's
homesick again with anotherfever or another symptom and it
was just this round robin.
You can imagine with havingeight people in a house how
sickness spreads quickly, andEverybody's just bringing home a
(02:16):
lot of germs because we're allgoing different directions.
With all of this sickness, I wasjust starting to feel worn down
and overwhelmed and just keptthinking, we are the only ones
getting sick and just feelingkind of bad for myself, like,
why can't I keep my kidshealthy?
(02:37):
I must be the only mom that cankeep her kids healthy and we
must be filthy disgustingbecause we can't stay healthy.
just on and on and on, feelingbad, and sorry for myself.
I knew a lot of this wasn'tnecessarily true, but you know,
when you're feeling sorry foryourself, you gotta really
(02:57):
dramatize it, so I wasdramatizing it as if we were the
only ones getting sick.
Then one day I was talking toanother mother and her girls had
been sick too and she wastelling me that her girls
classroom has 30 students in itand several days last week there
(03:18):
were only 10 students in theclassroom because 20 of them
were sick.
In fact, it was so bad that theschool had someone come in and
fog the classroom to, kill allthe germs in there.
And she also told me that therewere two schools in a nearby
town that shut down for a coupledays because so many kids in
(03:42):
their school were out sick.
With this new information, I wasable to think a little
differently about my ownsituation and all of a sudden I
wasn't feeling quite so bad formyself because I was realizing,
okay, I guess the wholecommunity is feeling sick this
month.
It's just going to be a roughmonth for all of us.
(04:06):
Isn't that interesting, thateven though nothing in my
situation changed, my thoughtsabout it changed once I added
some facts.
Once I added some facts, I wasable to change my thoughts, and
that helped me to feel better,and to better handle my
(04:29):
situation.
So, I'm going to talk a littlebit of facts versus thoughts.
Facts are things that can beproven true with evidence.
Think of something that can beproven in the court of law.
Something that can be proven astrue by multiple people.
(04:52):
Thoughts, though, are ourinterpretations of the facts, or
our interpretation of thecircumstances.
So my thoughts were, we're theonly ones getting sick, and I'm
a terrible mom because I can'tkeep my kids healthy, and we
must be disgusting because wealways have germs.
(05:15):
Where the facts were that mykids each got sick once last
month, and two of them got sickmore than two times.
And then my friend was able tobring in more new facts, that
there were only ten healthy kidsin a class of thirty at my kids
(05:36):
school.
When I was just focusing on mythoughts, I was feeling really
bad.
But when I added some facts tomy thought, All of a sudden my
thought changed and I wasn'tfeeling as bad anymore.
I realized we weren't sufferingalone, which is I think what my
main thought was, is we're theonly ones getting sick and we're
(05:56):
the only ones suffering overhere.
One reason to pay attention tofacts versus thoughts is because
of how they affect you.
My thought We were the only onesgetting sick.
Made me feel overwhelmed,defeated, and like a poor mom.
But with those facts that I thengot, those feelings weren't
(06:20):
there anymore.
So facts can help us see moreclearly.
Kind of like coming into a darkroom and turning the light on
helps us see things as theyreally are more and to have new
thoughts that could be moreenlightening and helpful.
(06:41):
Here are some thoughts momsmight have that could use some
facts.
I'm the only mom with kids thathave accidents in their pants
past the age of five.
My kids are the only kids thatthrow tantrums even though they
are not toddlers anymore.
no other moms lose their temperand yell at their kids.
(07:03):
Here's a hint for you whenyou're looking at your thoughts
and trying to Decide if they'rea thought or a fact is any time
you hear yourself saying Only asin I'm the only one the only mom
the only kids no other Then youprobably need to find some facts
because There's so many peoplein our world that Chances of you
(07:26):
being the only one in thatspecific situation are actually
kind of small.
If I were to take those threestatements and make them factual
without even getting any outsidedata, I could say something like
this, I have an eight year oldand a six year old that each had
(07:46):
three accidents this week.
My ten year old and my eightyear old throw themselves on the
floor kicking and yelling when Italk to them sometimes.
I yelled at my kids when theydidn't obey me for the third
time.
As you're listening to each ofthose factual ones, I don't know
about for you, but for me, Theyhave so much less drama in them
(08:11):
that I don't have the samefeelings with them.
When I think I'm the only momwith kids that have accidents in
their parents past the age offive, I feel defeated.
I feel alone.
I feel like I'm a bad mom.
I feel like there's no way tosolve this problem.
(08:32):
But when I make it factual andsay, I have an eight year old
and this Six year old that eachhad three accidents this week.
It loses its punch.
It doesn't seem quite asdramatic.
Even though it's the same amountof mess, it's the same amount of
struggle.
It just seems so much lessdramatic because we've made it
(08:54):
very factual.
See how even a little bit offacts can just take so much
emotion out of the statementsand just makes them easier for
our brains to handle?
Now, because I believe smallchanges on the inside bring big
results on the outside, eachweek on my podcast I'm going to
give you a small changechallenge.
(09:16):
Something small you could dothroughout the week if you
choose that could end upbringing big results to your
life.
So the small change challengefor this week is find the facts
for the thing that is botheringyou.
We all have at least one thingthat is just something that's
bothering us or we're strugglingwith or our mind keeps going
back to.
(09:37):
Find that thing, that thought,and shed some fact light on it.
Find some facts around it.
Either do some research andrealize that you're not the only
mom with this situation, or takeall of the drama out of it.
Take all of the onlys and the noothers out of it, and just state
(10:00):
things that could be proven in acourt of law.
Then say your statement.
And see how it helps you changeyour thought and feel
differently.
See how it lightens youremotions around that situation.
See how it lightens your loadand your feeling of
(10:21):
discouragement or despair aroundthat situation.
Bringing a little bit of factlight.
Usually also brings a little bitof hope, because we can see that
there might be things that wecan do to resolve, instead of
just spinning in, we're theonly, there's no other, defeat.
So go shed some fact light onyour thoughts, and see what a
(10:46):
difference a little bit of lightcan bring.
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of Inside Out
Mamas.
My hope is that our timetogether inspires more feelings
of peace, confidence, and joy inyour mama journey.
Be sure to subscribe so younever miss a show.
(11:06):
And if you're ready to takethese insights even deeper, head
over to brittanyturleycoaching.
com to check out my digitalworkshop designed to help you
reduce daily mom overwhelmwithout adding to your to do
list.
Thanks for listening, andremember, Small changes on the
inside bring big results on theoutside.
Hey mama, welcome to the inside out mama's podcast.
I'm Brittany Turley, mom of six,and I know what it's like to
feel stuck and overwhelmedtrying to be the perfect mom.
But everything changed for mewhen I learned that small
changes on the inside can bringbig results on the outside.
Each week, I will share simpleyet powerful inside shifts or
(00:25):
outside tips that can transformyour approach to mothering,
helping you thrive from theinside out.
Ready to ditch the mom guilt andenjoy this season of life?
You're in the right place.
It's good to be back.
Sorry I missed last week.
You can kind of still hear Ihave sickness in my voice, but
(00:46):
we have been wading through thesickness at our house, and it
hit me hard last week.
I finally went down.
I'm actually going to share alittle bit of our sickness drama
to help illustrate some thingsthis week.
So, pretty much since school wasBack in session from Christmas
(01:10):
break, so what is that, like the7th of January?
We have had someone at our homesick almost constantly.
I can think of like two dayswhere all my kids made it to
school.
Except for last week, they didmake it to school, but I was
(01:32):
sick those days, so I'm notcounting those.
We've had More days with feversin January than not.
Now we haven't had any off thecharts needing to go to the
hospital sickness.
We've just had constantsickness.
And, I was really starting tofeel overwhelmed and frustrated
(01:53):
and down about this because, youknow, one daughter would get
sick and then two days lateranother, and then the first
daughter would get better andthen three days later she's
homesick again with anotherfever or another symptom and it
was just this round robin.
You can imagine with havingeight people in a house how
sickness spreads quickly, andEverybody's just bringing home a
(02:16):
lot of germs because we're allgoing different directions.
With all of this sickness, I wasjust starting to feel worn down
and overwhelmed and just keptthinking, we are the only ones
getting sick and just feelingkind of bad for myself, like,
why can't I keep my kidshealthy?
(02:37):
I must be the only mom that cankeep her kids healthy and we
must be filthy disgustingbecause we can't stay healthy.
just on and on and on, feelingbad, and sorry for myself.
I knew a lot of this wasn'tnecessarily true, but you know,
when you're feeling sorry foryourself, you gotta really
(02:57):
dramatize it, so I wasdramatizing it as if we were the
only ones getting sick.
Then one day I was talking toanother mother and her girls had
been sick too and she wastelling me that her girls
classroom has 30 students in itand several days last week there
(03:18):
were only 10 students in theclassroom because 20 of them
were sick.
In fact, it was so bad that theschool had someone come in and
fog the classroom to, kill allthe germs in there.
And she also told me that therewere two schools in a nearby
town that shut down for a coupledays because so many kids in
(03:42):
their school were out sick.
With this new information, I wasable to think a little
differently about my ownsituation and all of a sudden I
wasn't feeling quite so bad formyself because I was realizing,
okay, I guess the wholecommunity is feeling sick this
month.
It's just going to be a roughmonth for all of us.
(04:06):
Isn't that interesting, thateven though nothing in my
situation changed, my thoughtsabout it changed once I added
some facts.
Once I added some facts, I wasable to change my thoughts, and
that helped me to feel better,and to better handle my
(04:29):
situation.
So, I'm going to talk a littlebit of facts versus thoughts.
Facts are things that can beproven true with evidence.
Think of something that can beproven in the court of law.
Something that can be proven astrue by multiple people.
(04:52):
Thoughts, though, are ourinterpretations of the facts, or
our interpretation of thecircumstances.
So my thoughts were, we're theonly ones getting sick, and I'm
a terrible mom because I can'tkeep my kids healthy, and we
must be disgusting because wealways have germs.
(05:15):
Where the facts were that mykids each got sick once last
month, and two of them got sickmore than two times.
And then my friend was able tobring in more new facts, that
there were only ten healthy kidsin a class of thirty at my kids
(05:36):
school.
When I was just focusing on mythoughts, I was feeling really
bad.
But when I added some facts tomy thought, All of a sudden my
thought changed and I wasn'tfeeling as bad anymore.
I realized we weren't sufferingalone, which is I think what my
main thought was, is we're theonly ones getting sick and we're
(05:56):
the only ones suffering overhere.
One reason to pay attention tofacts versus thoughts is because
of how they affect you.
My thought We were the only onesgetting sick.
Made me feel overwhelmed,defeated, and like a poor mom.
But with those facts that I thengot, those feelings weren't
(06:20):
there anymore.
So facts can help us see moreclearly.
Kind of like coming into a darkroom and turning the light on
helps us see things as theyreally are more and to have new
thoughts that could be moreenlightening and helpful.
(06:41):
Here are some thoughts momsmight have that could use some
facts.
I'm the only mom with kids thathave accidents in their pants
past the age of five.
My kids are the only kids thatthrow tantrums even though they
are not toddlers anymore.
no other moms lose their temperand yell at their kids.
(07:03):
Here's a hint for you whenyou're looking at your thoughts
and trying to Decide if they'rea thought or a fact is any time
you hear yourself saying Only asin I'm the only one the only mom
the only kids no other Then youprobably need to find some facts
because There's so many peoplein our world that Chances of you
(07:26):
being the only one in thatspecific situation are actually
kind of small.
If I were to take those threestatements and make them factual
without even getting any outsidedata, I could say something like
this, I have an eight year oldand a six year old that each had
(07:46):
three accidents this week.
My ten year old and my eightyear old throw themselves on the
floor kicking and yelling when Italk to them sometimes.
I yelled at my kids when theydidn't obey me for the third
time.
As you're listening to each ofthose factual ones, I don't know
about for you, but for me, Theyhave so much less drama in them
(08:11):
that I don't have the samefeelings with them.
When I think I'm the only momwith kids that have accidents in
their parents past the age offive, I feel defeated.
I feel alone.
I feel like I'm a bad mom.
I feel like there's no way tosolve this problem.
(08:32):
But when I make it factual andsay, I have an eight year old
and this Six year old that eachhad three accidents this week.
It loses its punch.
It doesn't seem quite asdramatic.
Even though it's the same amountof mess, it's the same amount of
struggle.
It just seems so much lessdramatic because we've made it
(08:54):
very factual.
See how even a little bit offacts can just take so much
emotion out of the statementsand just makes them easier for
our brains to handle?
Now, because I believe smallchanges on the inside bring big
results on the outside, eachweek on my podcast I'm going to
give you a small changechallenge.
(09:16):
Something small you could dothroughout the week if you
choose that could end upbringing big results to your
life.
So the small change challengefor this week is find the facts
for the thing that is botheringyou.
We all have at least one thingthat is just something that's
bothering us or we're strugglingwith or our mind keeps going
back to.
(09:37):
Find that thing, that thought,and shed some fact light on it.
Find some facts around it.
Either do some research andrealize that you're not the only
mom with this situation, or takeall of the drama out of it.
Take all of the onlys and the noothers out of it, and just state
(10:00):
things that could be proven in acourt of law.
Then say your statement.
And see how it helps you changeyour thought and feel
differently.
See how it lightens youremotions around that situation.
See how it lightens your loadand your feeling of
(10:21):
discouragement or despair aroundthat situation.
Bringing a little bit of factlight.
Usually also brings a little bitof hope, because we can see that
there might be things that wecan do to resolve, instead of
just spinning in, we're theonly, there's no other, defeat.
So go shed some fact light onyour thoughts, and see what a
(10:46):
difference a little bit of lightcan bring.
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of Inside Out
Mamas.
My hope is that our timetogether inspires more feelings
of peace, confidence, and joy inyour mama journey.
Be sure to subscribe so younever miss a show.
(11:06):
And if you're ready to takethese insights even deeper, head
over to brittanyturleycoaching.
com to check out my digitalworkshop designed to help you
reduce daily mom overwhelmwithout adding to your to do
list.
Thanks for listening, andremember, Small changes on the
inside bring big results on theoutside.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!