Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Hey mama, welcome to the insideout mama's podcast.
I'm Brittany Turley, mom of six,and I know what it's like to
feel stuck and overwhelmedtrying to be the perfect mom.
But everything changed for mewhen I learned that small
changes on the inside can bringbig results on the outside.
Each week, I will share simpleyet powerful inside shifts or
(00:25):
outside tips that can transformyour approach to mothering,
helping you thrive from theinside out.
Ready to ditch the mom guilt andenjoy this season of life?
You're in the right place.
MBFF, Mom's Best Friend Forever.
(00:46):
Who do you think would be thebest friend that every mom
needs?
Well, before we answer that,let's take a look at what a
close friend is.
Some of the qualities of a closefriend are They talk kindly to
us.
They know us well.
They know our faults and ourstruggles, but they love and
support us anyway.
(01:07):
They celebrate victories withus, whether they're big or
small.
They're someone who makes timeto be with us.
They remind us how amazing weare.
They're a cheerleader for uswhen things get hard.
And they show gratitude for Ourfriendship.
All of those qualities wouldreally be beneficial for a mom
(01:31):
on her journey throughmotherhood.
So, as a mom, who do you thinkwould be the best person to be
your best or closest friend?
Do you think it's your mother?
Or your husband?
Maybe your sister?
Or maybe another mom with kidsthe same age as your kids?
(01:53):
Well, it's actually you.
The most important friendshipyou could have would be with
yourself.
You might be thinking, what?
That is really strange.
If you've never heard of thisconcept before, it might seem a
little bit crazy, but stick withme.
I think that you'll end upactually liking it.
(02:16):
You are with yourself more thanyou're with any other person.
So wouldn't it be good to havethat relationship be one that is
supportive and loving, just likehaving a close friend with you
all the time?
I think, it would feel prettyamazing to have a close friend
(02:37):
bringing those qualities that welisted before to me each day.
So, you might be thinking, okay,but how do I be my own best
friend?
What even is that?
First, let's just take a stepback and take a look at how we
(02:58):
may sometimes be treatingourselves, and compare that with
how we would treat a friend.
So, think about how you react toyourself when you fall short on
something.
And maybe these are thingsyou're not actually saying to
yourself, but maybe somethingthat you're thinking to
yourself.
So what do you think toyourself?
(03:20):
Does it maybe sound somethinglike this?
Why do I even try?
I can't make this work.
Or why can't I get it right?
What is wrong with me?
Do you pick apart the details ofthe situation and find all the
ways you think you should havedone things better?
(03:40):
Now pretend that a close friendtells you that they fell short
in that exact same situation.
What would your response to thembe?
Is it different than yourresponse to yourself for the
same situation?
I don't think many of us wouldsay to our close friend, Why
(04:02):
can't you get it right?
What's wrong with you?
My guess is our response wouldbe encouraging them, giving them
support or comfort if needed,and telling them that it's okay,
that it's not a big deal.
Isn't that interesting tonotice?
Interesting how we sometimestreat our friends much better
(04:26):
than we treat ourselves.
Let's now take a look at a fewmore examples of what typically
might happen and then what wouldhappen if we were being our own
best friend.
So for the first example, it'safter school time.
Your kids all have homework andyour plan is to help them with
(04:47):
their homework while makingdinner so that you guys can
spend some quality timetogether.
What ends up happening, though,is your kids are all tired and
grumpy and resisting doinghomework.
They don't want to do it.
And you have one kid doing maththat needs help and another
doing reading that also needshelp, all the while your toddler
(05:08):
continues to whine at you, sonow you're holding them on your
hip while bouncing between bothchildren.
You also have things cooking fordinner.
And that isn't going so wellbecause you're not able to give
it the attention it needs.
At this point, you'refrustrated, your kids are
frustrated, and you end upsnapping at your kids.
Would your close friend say toyou, You should have been more
(05:30):
patient.
Why can't you be like the othermoms who can keep it together?
I don't think so.
A close friend would say, Bringkind words and praise for what
we did accomplish.
They might say something like,Hey, it might have not been
pretty, but all the kids did gettheir homework done and were all
(05:51):
fed.
You're so amazing to be able tojuggle that all at once and not
completely lose your cool.
I'm proud of you.
Or how about this example?
It's been a long day of pottytraining with your toddler.
They only made it to the toiletone time all day on time.
The rest of the day was justmess after mess after mess.
(06:16):
you might say to yourself, wow,I am really terrible at potty
training.
I don't think we will ever getthrough this, but.
Your close friend would probablycelebrate your small victory and
give you encouragement.
They might say something like,Wow, your toddler had a success
today.
That is great, especially sinceit's just the first day.
(06:37):
That is great progress.
You've got this.
Now, let's say you just spentthe whole day taking care of
your family, running them theplaces they need to go with the
things that they need, makingsure they were well fed, playing
with them, cleaning up aftertheir messes, taking care of
them when they got hurt, butnobody seems to notice or even
(06:59):
acknowledge all of your efforts.
And by the end of the day,you're thinking, I do so much,
but it's like no one even cares.
Why am I even trying?
But a close friend would showgratitude and remind you how
amazing you are.
They might say, your family isso lucky to have you.
(07:22):
You spend so much time servingthem and caring for them.
Thanks for being such an amazingmother.
Can you see the difference inhow we may default in talking to
ourselves and how we wouldchange if we were talking to a
best friend.
So what if we tried to take onthat mentality more of being our
(07:48):
own best close friend, thinkabout the impact that that could
have on your mental andemotional state day in and day
out.
If you had somebody close byyou.
With you all the time.
That was showing you kindness,encouragement, and support.
How would that change things foryou?
(08:11):
I can say from personalexperience that it changes
everything.
As I have worked on this conceptfor myself, it really has
changed everything for me tohave a constant support system
always with me.
I'm not perfect at it.
I still don't treat myself likethe best friend all the time,
(08:31):
but even just having a fewmoments a week when I am
supporting myself like a friendwould is huge for my overall
feeling of the entire week.
Let's take a quick visit back tothe qualities I listed at the
beginning of this podcast of AClose Friend, and let's envision
(08:52):
having these qualities forourself.
I am my own best friend.
I talk kindly to myself.
I know myself well.
I know my faults and mystruggles, but I love and
support myself anyway.
I celebrate my victories, bigand small.
I make time to be with myself.
(09:13):
I remind myself how amazing Iam.
I am a cheerleader for myselfwhen things get hard.
I show gratitude for myself.
Now, because I believe smallchanges on the inside bring big
results on the outside, eachweek of my podcast, I'm going to
give you a small changeschallenge.
(09:35):
Something small that you coulddo throughout the week, if you
choose, that could end upbringing big results to your
life.
So, the small changes challengefor this week is to find one
moment to be a BFF to yourself.
Maybe when you lose your temperwith your kids, you would think,
what would my BFF say right now?
(09:56):
Maybe they would say, hey girl,It's been a hard day.
You have a lot on your plateright now.
Why don't you take a littlebreak?
I'll turn on a show for the kidsand put the baby in the crib
with some toys while you get adrink of water and head to the
porch for five minutes of freshair.
And then you do that foryourself.
(10:16):
Remember, small changes on theinside bring big results on the
outside.
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of Inside Out
Mamas.
My hope is that our timetogether inspires more feelings
of peace, confidence, and joy inyour mama journey.
Be sure to subscribe so younever miss a show.
(10:38):
And if you're ready to takethese insights even deeper, head
over to brittanyturleycoaching.
com to check out my digitalworkshop designed to help you
reduce daily mom overwhelmwithout adding to your to do
list.
Thanks for listening, andremember, Small changes on the
inside bring big results on theoutside.
Hey mama, welcome to the insideout mama's podcast.
I'm Brittany Turley, mom of six,and I know what it's like to
feel stuck and overwhelmedtrying to be the perfect mom.
But everything changed for mewhen I learned that small
changes on the inside can bringbig results on the outside.
Each week, I will share simpleyet powerful inside shifts or
(00:25):
outside tips that can transformyour approach to mothering,
helping you thrive from theinside out.
Ready to ditch the mom guilt andenjoy this season of life?
You're in the right place.
MBFF, Mom's Best Friend Forever.
(00:46):
Who do you think would be thebest friend that every mom
needs?
Well, before we answer that,let's take a look at what a
close friend is.
Some of the qualities of a closefriend are They talk kindly to
us.
They know us well.
They know our faults and ourstruggles, but they love and
support us anyway.
(01:07):
They celebrate victories withus, whether they're big or
small.
They're someone who makes timeto be with us.
They remind us how amazing weare.
They're a cheerleader for uswhen things get hard.
And they show gratitude for Ourfriendship.
All of those qualities wouldreally be beneficial for a mom
(01:31):
on her journey throughmotherhood.
So, as a mom, who do you thinkwould be the best person to be
your best or closest friend?
Do you think it's your mother?
Or your husband?
Maybe your sister?
Or maybe another mom with kidsthe same age as your kids?
(01:53):
Well, it's actually you.
The most important friendshipyou could have would be with
yourself.
You might be thinking, what?
That is really strange.
If you've never heard of thisconcept before, it might seem a
little bit crazy, but stick withme.
I think that you'll end upactually liking it.
(02:16):
You are with yourself more thanyou're with any other person.
So wouldn't it be good to havethat relationship be one that is
supportive and loving, just likehaving a close friend with you
all the time?
I think, it would feel prettyamazing to have a close friend
(02:37):
bringing those qualities that welisted before to me each day.
So, you might be thinking, okay,but how do I be my own best
friend?
What even is that?
First, let's just take a stepback and take a look at how we
(02:58):
may sometimes be treatingourselves, and compare that with
how we would treat a friend.
So, think about how you react toyourself when you fall short on
something.
And maybe these are thingsyou're not actually saying to
yourself, but maybe somethingthat you're thinking to
yourself.
So what do you think toyourself?
(03:20):
Does it maybe sound somethinglike this?
Why do I even try?
I can't make this work.
Or why can't I get it right?
What is wrong with me?
Do you pick apart the details ofthe situation and find all the
ways you think you should havedone things better?
(03:40):
Now pretend that a close friendtells you that they fell short
in that exact same situation.
What would your response to thembe?
Is it different than yourresponse to yourself for the
same situation?
I don't think many of us wouldsay to our close friend, Why
(04:02):
can't you get it right?
What's wrong with you?
My guess is our response wouldbe encouraging them, giving them
support or comfort if needed,and telling them that it's okay,
that it's not a big deal.
Isn't that interesting tonotice?
Interesting how we sometimestreat our friends much better
(04:26):
than we treat ourselves.
Let's now take a look at a fewmore examples of what typically
might happen and then what wouldhappen if we were being our own
best friend.
So for the first example, it'safter school time.
Your kids all have homework andyour plan is to help them with
(04:47):
their homework while makingdinner so that you guys can
spend some quality timetogether.
What ends up happening, though,is your kids are all tired and
grumpy and resisting doinghomework.
They don't want to do it.
And you have one kid doing maththat needs help and another
doing reading that also needshelp, all the while your toddler
(05:08):
continues to whine at you, sonow you're holding them on your
hip while bouncing between bothchildren.
You also have things cooking fordinner.
And that isn't going so wellbecause you're not able to give
it the attention it needs.
At this point, you'refrustrated, your kids are
frustrated, and you end upsnapping at your kids.
Would your close friend say toyou, You should have been more
(05:30):
patient.
Why can't you be like the othermoms who can keep it together?
I don't think so.
A close friend would say, Bringkind words and praise for what
we did accomplish.
They might say something like,Hey, it might have not been
pretty, but all the kids did gettheir homework done and were all
(05:51):
fed.
You're so amazing to be able tojuggle that all at once and not
completely lose your cool.
I'm proud of you.
Or how about this example?
It's been a long day of pottytraining with your toddler.
They only made it to the toiletone time all day on time.
The rest of the day was justmess after mess after mess.
(06:16):
you might say to yourself, wow,I am really terrible at potty
training.
I don't think we will ever getthrough this, but.
Your close friend would probablycelebrate your small victory and
give you encouragement.
They might say something like,Wow, your toddler had a success
today.
That is great, especially sinceit's just the first day.
(06:37):
That is great progress.
You've got this.
Now, let's say you just spentthe whole day taking care of
your family, running them theplaces they need to go with the
things that they need, makingsure they were well fed, playing
with them, cleaning up aftertheir messes, taking care of
them when they got hurt, butnobody seems to notice or even
(06:59):
acknowledge all of your efforts.
And by the end of the day,you're thinking, I do so much,
but it's like no one even cares.
Why am I even trying?
But a close friend would showgratitude and remind you how
amazing you are.
They might say, your family isso lucky to have you.
(07:22):
You spend so much time servingthem and caring for them.
Thanks for being such an amazingmother.
Can you see the difference inhow we may default in talking to
ourselves and how we wouldchange if we were talking to a
best friend.
So what if we tried to take onthat mentality more of being our
(07:48):
own best close friend, thinkabout the impact that that could
have on your mental andemotional state day in and day
out.
If you had somebody close byyou.
With you all the time.
That was showing you kindness,encouragement, and support.
How would that change things foryou?
(08:11):
I can say from personalexperience that it changes
everything.
As I have worked on this conceptfor myself, it really has
changed everything for me tohave a constant support system
always with me.
I'm not perfect at it.
I still don't treat myself likethe best friend all the time,
(08:31):
but even just having a fewmoments a week when I am
supporting myself like a friendwould is huge for my overall
feeling of the entire week.
Let's take a quick visit back tothe qualities I listed at the
beginning of this podcast of AClose Friend, and let's envision
(08:52):
having these qualities forourself.
I am my own best friend.
I talk kindly to myself.
I know myself well.
I know my faults and mystruggles, but I love and
support myself anyway.
I celebrate my victories, bigand small.
I make time to be with myself.
(09:13):
I remind myself how amazing Iam.
I am a cheerleader for myselfwhen things get hard.
I show gratitude for myself.
Now, because I believe smallchanges on the inside bring big
results on the outside, eachweek of my podcast, I'm going to
give you a small changeschallenge.
(09:35):
Something small that you coulddo throughout the week, if you
choose, that could end upbringing big results to your
life.
So, the small changes challengefor this week is to find one
moment to be a BFF to yourself.
Maybe when you lose your temperwith your kids, you would think,
what would my BFF say right now?
(09:56):
Maybe they would say, hey girl,It's been a hard day.
You have a lot on your plateright now.
Why don't you take a littlebreak?
I'll turn on a show for the kidsand put the baby in the crib
with some toys while you get adrink of water and head to the
porch for five minutes of freshair.
And then you do that foryourself.
(10:16):
Remember, small changes on theinside bring big results on the
outside.
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of Inside Out
Mamas.
My hope is that our timetogether inspires more feelings
of peace, confidence, and joy inyour mama journey.
Be sure to subscribe so younever miss a show.
(10:38):
And if you're ready to takethese insights even deeper, head
over to brittanyturleycoaching.
com to check out my digitalworkshop designed to help you
reduce daily mom overwhelmwithout adding to your to do
list.
Thanks for listening, andremember, Small changes on the
inside bring big results on theoutside.
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