Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Brittany (00:01):
Hey mama, welcome to the inside out mama's podcast.
I'm Brittany Turley, mom of six,and I know what it's like to
feel stuck and overwhelmedtrying to be the perfect mom.
But everything changed for mewhen I learned that small
changes on the inside can bringbig results on the outside.
Each week, I will share simpleyet powerful inside shifts or
(00:25):
outside tips that can transformyour approach to mothering,
helping you thrive from theinside out.
Ready to ditch the mom guilt andenjoy this season of life?
You're in the right place.
As the sickness saga continuesat our house, we just cannot
have a single week of everyonebeing healthy still.
(00:49):
And the weather is snowy andvery cold.
We have been doing a lot ofLegos.
One of my sons decided to getout all the Legos.
And wants to put together all ofthe sets that we own.
And after like probably 15 yearsof kids getting sets for
(01:11):
birthdays or Christmas, we'veaccumulated quite a few sets.
We do have our Legos kind ofsorted a little like the big
chunky pieces, the small flatpieces, the itty bitty pieces,
the slanted pieces.
But other than that, all of thesets are together.
So yesterday I was helping oneof my sons find some pieces for
(01:35):
a set he was putting togetherthat he was struggling to find
pieces for.
We probably did this for a goodhour but he would show me which
piece he would need and I wouldstart looking through the pile
for that piece.
For example he would say I needthis red piece, it's this size
and I'd sift through the pileand find the red piece and get
it to him.
(01:56):
Well, one of the pieces wasyellow And I hadn't had a yellow
piece and I thought, Oh wow, ayellow piece.
Like, this is going to be prettyeasy to find.
I don't think there's manyyellow pieces.
So I started looking through thepile for this yellow piece, and
I am seeing so many yellowpieces now.
And I thought, wow, I didn'trealize we had that many that
were yellow.
(02:16):
I didn't even notice these.
All the other times I waslooking for different colored
pieces, I never even noticed allof these yellow pieces because
now that I was looking foryellow, all the yellow pieces
were popping out at my eyes.
And then the next piece he gaveme was blue.
And so I'm doing the same thing.
I'm looking through the pile forblue and now I don't really see
(02:39):
the yellow pieces anymore.
I'm seeing so many blue piecesbecause that's what I was
looking for.
That's what I was focused on,all the blue pieces were popping
out and I hardly noticed theyellows or any of the other
colors.
So I started noticing howinteresting it was that whatever
piece I was looking for, that iswhat just popped out to my eyes.
(02:59):
I would, you know, be like,okay, now I'm looking for a
black piece and all the blackpieces would just kind of pop
out at me and it would be easierto find because my brain was
sorting out what I was seeingand just showing me.
all the black pieces.
That's what my focus was on andthat's what my brain was helping
me to see more easily.
(03:20):
Now this concept, is also truewith motherhood.
What we are focused on will bewhat we notice.
So when we are focused on how achild is misbehaving, we will
notice All the times that he orshe misbehaves, and we will be
more likely to miss when theyhave great behavior, just like
(03:42):
when I didn't see any of thoseyellow pieces because I hadn't
looked for one yet, they werethere the whole time.
I just never really noticed thembecause I had been focusing on
other colors.
But when I decided to focus onyellow.
I realize there are a lot ofyellow pieces.
The same would be true for ourkids and their behavior.
(04:04):
When we're focused on just themisbehavior, we are more likely
to miss the times when they havegreat behavior.
And you might think, oh, no.
It would be so rare for them tohave good behavior that I
wouldn't notice for sure.
But if you were to change yourfocus and trying to find the
(04:24):
good behavior, I think that youwould be surprised at how much
more good is going on than yousaw before.
Last month, I did a love notechallenge for my kids.
I talked about it in anotherpodcast, but basically, I wrote
a love note to each one of themeach day for a month, saying one
(04:47):
thing that I loved about them,and my goal was to never repeat
myself.
And I didn't keep track exactly,I just tried to in my mind
remember, so.
I could have messed up, but mygoal was to never repeat myself.
And like I mentioned in thatpodcast, at first it was pretty
easy because, you know, there'slots of things that are easy to
say you love about your kids,but I really wanted mine to be
(05:07):
meaningful and I didn't want torepeat.
So after you do like 10, thenyou've got to dig a little
deeper than just the, you know,top of the line stuff.
I love your hugs.
I love your smile.
And, um, Um, some days wereharder, especially if I was
having a rough day, it washarder for me to write them
(05:27):
down, but there was alwayssomething that I could see.
And most of the times I tried towrite something from that day
that I loved about them becauseI was looking for it.
And because I was focused onthat and looking for it because
I knew I would need to write anote that night and I was trying
to like prepare myselfthroughout the day.
(05:49):
I noticed so many more thingsthen I would have had I not been
focused on that.
Now this could be applied tomore than just focusing on bad
behavior and good behavior.
It could be applied to anything.
What is it that you want tofocus on?
It could be applied to noticinghow smart our kids are.
(06:12):
It could be applied to noticinghow caring our kids are.
It could also be applied to us,noticing how easy motherhood is
instead of focusing on how hardit is.
Focusing on how enjoyingmotherhood is instead of how
frustrating it can be.
(06:34):
Focusing on all of the things weare accomplishing instead of
just all the things we're notaccomplishing.
Focusing on the parts of ourhouse that are clean instead of
all of the parts that aren't.
Focusing on the impact for goodwe are having on our kids rather
than feeling defeated becausewe're noticing all of the impact
(06:57):
we think we're not having on ourkids.
Now because I believe smallchanges on the inside bring big
results on the outside, eachweek on my podcast I'm going to
give you a small changeschallenge.
Something small you could dothroughout the week if you
choose that could end upbringing big results to your
life.
(07:17):
So the small change challengefor this week is to think about
what you are looking for today.
What is it that you are focusedon today?
Is that what you want to findmore of?
And if not, pick something youdo want to find more of and
(07:40):
focus on that for today and seewhat you end up finding.
Remember, small changes on theinside bring big results on the
outside.
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of Inside Out
Mamas.
My hope is that our timetogether inspires more feelings
(08:01):
of peace, confidence, and joy inyour mama journey.
Be sure to subscribe so younever miss a show.
And if you're ready to takethese insights even deeper, head
over to brittanyturleycoaching.
com to check out my digitalworkshop designed to help you
reduce daily mom overwhelmwithout adding to your to do
(08:21):
list.
Thanks for listening, andremember, Small changes on the
inside bring big results on theoutside.
Hey mama, welcome to the inside out mama's podcast.
I'm Brittany Turley, mom of six,and I know what it's like to
feel stuck and overwhelmedtrying to be the perfect mom.
But everything changed for mewhen I learned that small
changes on the inside can bringbig results on the outside.
Each week, I will share simpleyet powerful inside shifts or
(00:25):
outside tips that can transformyour approach to mothering,
helping you thrive from theinside out.
Ready to ditch the mom guilt andenjoy this season of life?
You're in the right place.
As the sickness saga continuesat our house, we just cannot
have a single week of everyonebeing healthy still.
(00:49):
And the weather is snowy andvery cold.
We have been doing a lot ofLegos.
One of my sons decided to getout all the Legos.
And wants to put together all ofthe sets that we own.
And after like probably 15 yearsof kids getting sets for
(01:11):
birthdays or Christmas, we'veaccumulated quite a few sets.
We do have our Legos kind ofsorted a little like the big
chunky pieces, the small flatpieces, the itty bitty pieces,
the slanted pieces.
But other than that, all of thesets are together.
So yesterday I was helping oneof my sons find some pieces for
(01:35):
a set he was putting togetherthat he was struggling to find
pieces for.
We probably did this for a goodhour but he would show me which
piece he would need and I wouldstart looking through the pile
for that piece.
For example he would say I needthis red piece, it's this size
and I'd sift through the pileand find the red piece and get
it to him.
(01:56):
Well, one of the pieces wasyellow And I hadn't had a yellow
piece and I thought, Oh wow, ayellow piece.
Like, this is going to be prettyeasy to find.
I don't think there's manyyellow pieces.
So I started looking through thepile for this yellow piece, and
I am seeing so many yellowpieces now.
And I thought, wow, I didn'trealize we had that many that
were yellow.
(02:16):
I didn't even notice these.
All the other times I waslooking for different colored
pieces, I never even noticed allof these yellow pieces because
now that I was looking foryellow, all the yellow pieces
were popping out at my eyes.
And then the next piece he gaveme was blue.
And so I'm doing the same thing.
I'm looking through the pile forblue and now I don't really see
(02:39):
the yellow pieces anymore.
I'm seeing so many blue piecesbecause that's what I was
looking for.
That's what I was focused on,all the blue pieces were popping
out and I hardly noticed theyellows or any of the other
colors.
So I started noticing howinteresting it was that whatever
piece I was looking for, that iswhat just popped out to my eyes.
(02:59):
I would, you know, be like,okay, now I'm looking for a
black piece and all the blackpieces would just kind of pop
out at me and it would be easierto find because my brain was
sorting out what I was seeingand just showing me.
all the black pieces.
That's what my focus was on andthat's what my brain was helping
me to see more easily.
(03:20):
Now this concept, is also truewith motherhood.
What we are focused on will bewhat we notice.
So when we are focused on how achild is misbehaving, we will
notice All the times that he orshe misbehaves, and we will be
more likely to miss when theyhave great behavior, just like
(03:42):
when I didn't see any of thoseyellow pieces because I hadn't
looked for one yet, they werethere the whole time.
I just never really noticed thembecause I had been focusing on
other colors.
But when I decided to focus onyellow.
I realize there are a lot ofyellow pieces.
The same would be true for ourkids and their behavior.
(04:04):
When we're focused on just themisbehavior, we are more likely
to miss the times when they havegreat behavior.
And you might think, oh, no.
It would be so rare for them tohave good behavior that I
wouldn't notice for sure.
But if you were to change yourfocus and trying to find the
(04:24):
good behavior, I think that youwould be surprised at how much
more good is going on than yousaw before.
Last month, I did a love notechallenge for my kids.
I talked about it in anotherpodcast, but basically, I wrote
a love note to each one of themeach day for a month, saying one
(04:47):
thing that I loved about them,and my goal was to never repeat
myself.
And I didn't keep track exactly,I just tried to in my mind
remember, so.
I could have messed up, but mygoal was to never repeat myself.
And like I mentioned in thatpodcast, at first it was pretty
easy because, you know, there'slots of things that are easy to
say you love about your kids,but I really wanted mine to be
(05:07):
meaningful and I didn't want torepeat.
So after you do like 10, thenyou've got to dig a little
deeper than just the, you know,top of the line stuff.
I love your hugs.
I love your smile.
And, um, Um, some days wereharder, especially if I was
having a rough day, it washarder for me to write them
(05:27):
down, but there was alwayssomething that I could see.
And most of the times I tried towrite something from that day
that I loved about them becauseI was looking for it.
And because I was focused onthat and looking for it because
I knew I would need to write anote that night and I was trying
to like prepare myselfthroughout the day.
(05:49):
I noticed so many more thingsthen I would have had I not been
focused on that.
Now this could be applied tomore than just focusing on bad
behavior and good behavior.
It could be applied to anything.
What is it that you want tofocus on?
It could be applied to noticinghow smart our kids are.
(06:12):
It could be applied to noticinghow caring our kids are.
It could also be applied to us,noticing how easy motherhood is
instead of focusing on how hardit is.
Focusing on how enjoyingmotherhood is instead of how
frustrating it can be.
(06:34):
Focusing on all of the things weare accomplishing instead of
just all the things we're notaccomplishing.
Focusing on the parts of ourhouse that are clean instead of
all of the parts that aren't.
Focusing on the impact for goodwe are having on our kids rather
than feeling defeated becausewe're noticing all of the impact
(06:57):
we think we're not having on ourkids.
Now because I believe smallchanges on the inside bring big
results on the outside, eachweek on my podcast I'm going to
give you a small changeschallenge.
Something small you could dothroughout the week if you
choose that could end upbringing big results to your
life.
(07:17):
So the small change challengefor this week is to think about
what you are looking for today.
What is it that you are focusedon today?
Is that what you want to findmore of?
And if not, pick something youdo want to find more of and
(07:40):
focus on that for today and seewhat you end up finding.
Remember, small changes on theinside bring big results on the
outside.
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of Inside Out
Mamas.
My hope is that our timetogether inspires more feelings
(08:01):
of peace, confidence, and joy inyour mama journey.
Be sure to subscribe so younever miss a show.
And if you're ready to takethese insights even deeper, head
over to brittanyturleycoaching.
com to check out my digitalworkshop designed to help you
reduce daily mom overwhelmwithout adding to your to do
(08:21):
list.
Thanks for listening, andremember, Small changes on the
inside bring big results on theoutside.
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