Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker (00:01):
Hey mama, welcome to the inside out mama's podcast.
I'm Brittany Turley, mom of six,and I know what it's like to
feel stuck and overwhelmedtrying to be the perfect mom.
But everything changed for mewhen I learned that small
changes on the inside can bringbig results on the outside.
Each week, I will share simpleyet powerful inside shifts or
(00:25):
outside tips that can transformyour approach to mothering,
helping you thrive from theinside out.
Ready to ditch the mom guilt andenjoy this season of life?
You're in the right place.
Brittany (00:39):
So what makes someone an expert?
When I looked on the internetfor definitions of an expert,
what I found was an expert issomeone who has a high level of
knowledge, skill, or orexperience in a particular
subject or field.
(01:00):
We take our kids to the doctorwhen they're sick because they
are an expert on health.
We take our kids to the dentistbecause they are an expert on
teeth.
It is likely that you've talkedto many experts on different
subjects to get their expertiseto help with different subjects
or problems with your kids orfamily or yourself.
(01:25):
But have you ever considered theidea that you are an expert on
your kids?
If you think about thedefinition that I found, that an
expert is someone with a highlevel of knowledge, skill, or
experience in a particularsubject, I think that applies
very much to mothers.
(01:47):
We have a lot of knowledge, alot of skill, and lots of
experience with our children.
For example, have you ever hadan experience with your kids
where you just know them so wellthat you know how they're going
to react in a certain situation,and you're able to have things
ready to help them through it,or plan ahead of time so that If
(02:11):
something happens, they have thetools they need.
Also, when I was looking upabout an expert, I found online
that generally it's consideredto require around 10, 000 hours
of deliberate practice to beconsidered an expert in a field.
So if you were someone who wasactually working 24 hours a day
(02:35):
with no breaks, no sleep, whichsometimes is what mothering
feels like, then.
You would be an expert in 417days.
That's a little over a year.
Let's say that you're actuallygetting around six hours of
sleep a night, and that we'renot counting while you're
(02:57):
sleeping, even though our braindoes work at night, organizing
and filing away all theinformation we gained during the
day.
Then it would take One and ahalf years to become an expert
on your child.
So, at the very least, by thetime the kid is two, you are an
(03:18):
expert on them.
Another cool phenomenon that IDiscovered is something called
microchimerism.
During pregnancy, fetal cellspass through the placenta and
then get into the mother'stissue, including the
(03:38):
bloodstream, the brain, theheart, and other organs.
And these cells can continue onin the mother's body for decades
after birth.
So, we're literally carryingpart of our children with us
long after they're born.
Making us even better experts onthem?
(04:00):
Because we have their cellsinside of our body.
But if we put all the factsaside and just think about how
would it change how you feel andact to believe that you are an
expert on your kids?
How would you feel around theexperts that you use to help you
while raising your kids likedoctors and dentists?
(04:24):
Would it give you moreconfidence?
Would it help you feel moreconfident in your decision
making?
Have you ever been in asituation with an expert where
they are telling you somethingand they have a lot of data to
prove that it's best for yourkid, but Inside, you just feel
like that is not the best choicefor your kid.
(04:47):
I've had many types of thosesituations.
While I acknowledge that doctorsand dentists and teachers, they
have professional expertise butthey see our children in
specific contexts.
As a mom, we can see our childacross all contexts and all
situations.
(05:07):
This is true not only for ourkids, but also for us as a mom
and as a family unit.
For example, A few years ago, Iwas researching what are the
screen time recommendations forkids.
I was wanting to see what theexperts said about screen time
recommendations for differentage levels and just to make sure
(05:30):
I was being realistic with mykids.
I read lots of articles on lotsof topics and looked in lots of
different websites.
In multiple places, I readadvice from experts that screen
time for kids should be had withan adult right there with them,
watching alongside them.
This brought lots of, uh, guiltfor me.
(05:51):
I was feeling bad because I Idon't give my kids a lot of
screen time, but when I do, Iuse that time to get a lot of
things done.
Then as I read a little further,and I read the bios on these
experts, I realized that theydidn't have any children of
their own.
(06:13):
Then I was able to process theiradvice differently.
I could see the logic in thisadvice that if you're going to
let your kid have screen timethat you watch it with them so
you know what they're consumingand so you could be there to
answer questions and haveconversations around whatever
they're watching.
But then I could also see howthis advice wouldn't work for me
(06:35):
and my kids unless I had thefunds to hire help to do all of
the cooking and the cleaning andthe house management that also
comes along with raising kids.
These experts knew a lot abouthow kids grow and how they
develop and what would be bestfor them, but having never been
(06:55):
a parent themselves, They didn'tunderstand the part of being a
mom that involves the cookingand the cleaning and the house
management and how much timethat takes and to be with your
child every moment is just notpossible.
So owning that I'm the expert onmy kids and on my mothering, I
(07:19):
don't give my kids much screentime, but when I do, I don't
usually sit there with them.
I go get things done.
I also believe that moms haveintuition that no expert can
have.
They can sense what is best fortheir kids.
And sometimes that is right inline with what the expert's
(07:42):
saying.
And sometimes it goes againstit.
But having confidence in knowingthat You know your kid best can
make all the difference Now justbecause you're an expert doesn't
mean that you're always gonnaknow the right answer and that
you're always gonna get itright.
(08:02):
But what I'm trying to get at isholding on to the thought that
you are the expert on your kidscan give you the confidence that
you need when you're insituations and experts are
telling you something that justdoesn't seem right for your
child.
That just doesn't feel right.
(08:23):
As a mom.
You will get lots of advice andideas from experts and non
experts.
My experience is that much of itwill be so helpful to you and to
your kids as you're raisingthem.
But sometimes it can seem sooverwhelming like everybody
knows what's best for your kidbut you.
It's those times when it will bemost helpful to remember that
(08:45):
you are the expert on your kids.
You know what is best for thembecause you can see the whole
child.
You know more about them.
Now, because I believe smallchanges on the inside bring big
results on the outside, eachweek on my podcast I'm going to
give you a small changeschallenge.
(09:06):
Something small that you coulddo throughout the week if you
choose, that could end upbringing big results to your
life.
So, the small change challengefor this week is just to try out
the thought that you are theexpert on your kids.
And when you're in situationswhere people are giving you
advice or you're not sure whatto do, remember that thought.
(09:30):
And see how it helps you gainthe confidence you need to move
forward.
Remember, small changes on theinside bring big results on the
outside.
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of Inside Out
Mamas.
My hope is that our timetogether inspires more feelings
of peace, confidence, and joy inyour mama journey.
(09:52):
Be sure to subscribe so younever miss a show.
And if you're ready to takethese insights even deeper, head
over to brittanyturleycoaching.
com to check out my digitalworkshop designed to help you
reduce daily mom overwhelmwithout adding to your to do
list.
Thanks for listening, andremember, Small changes on the
(10:13):
inside bring big results on theoutside.
Hey mama, welcome to the inside out mama's podcast.
I'm Brittany Turley, mom of six,and I know what it's like to
feel stuck and overwhelmedtrying to be the perfect mom.
But everything changed for mewhen I learned that small
changes on the inside can bringbig results on the outside.
Each week, I will share simpleyet powerful inside shifts or
(00:25):
outside tips that can transformyour approach to mothering,
helping you thrive from theinside out.
Ready to ditch the mom guilt andenjoy this season of life?
You're in the right place.
Brittany (00:39):
So what makes someone an expert?
When I looked on the internetfor definitions of an expert,
what I found was an expert issomeone who has a high level of
knowledge, skill, or orexperience in a particular
subject or field.
(01:00):
We take our kids to the doctorwhen they're sick because they
are an expert on health.
We take our kids to the dentistbecause they are an expert on
teeth.
It is likely that you've talkedto many experts on different
subjects to get their expertiseto help with different subjects
or problems with your kids orfamily or yourself.
(01:25):
But have you ever considered theidea that you are an expert on
your kids?
If you think about thedefinition that I found, that an
expert is someone with a highlevel of knowledge, skill, or
experience in a particularsubject, I think that applies
very much to mothers.
(01:47):
We have a lot of knowledge, alot of skill, and lots of
experience with our children.
For example, have you ever hadan experience with your kids
where you just know them so wellthat you know how they're going
to react in a certain situation,and you're able to have things
ready to help them through it,or plan ahead of time so that If
(02:11):
something happens, they have thetools they need.
Also, when I was looking upabout an expert, I found online
that generally it's consideredto require around 10, 000 hours
of deliberate practice to beconsidered an expert in a field.
So if you were someone who wasactually working 24 hours a day
(02:35):
with no breaks, no sleep, whichsometimes is what mothering
feels like, then.
You would be an expert in 417days.
That's a little over a year.
Let's say that you're actuallygetting around six hours of
sleep a night, and that we'renot counting while you're
(02:57):
sleeping, even though our braindoes work at night, organizing
and filing away all theinformation we gained during the
day.
Then it would take One and ahalf years to become an expert
on your child.
So, at the very least, by thetime the kid is two, you are an
(03:18):
expert on them.
Another cool phenomenon that IDiscovered is something called
microchimerism.
During pregnancy, fetal cellspass through the placenta and
then get into the mother'stissue, including the
(03:38):
bloodstream, the brain, theheart, and other organs.
And these cells can continue onin the mother's body for decades
after birth.
So, we're literally carryingpart of our children with us
long after they're born.
Making us even better experts onthem?
(04:00):
Because we have their cellsinside of our body.
But if we put all the factsaside and just think about how
would it change how you feel andact to believe that you are an
expert on your kids?
How would you feel around theexperts that you use to help you
while raising your kids likedoctors and dentists?
(04:24):
Would it give you moreconfidence?
Would it help you feel moreconfident in your decision
making?
Have you ever been in asituation with an expert where
they are telling you somethingand they have a lot of data to
prove that it's best for yourkid, but Inside, you just feel
like that is not the best choicefor your kid.
(04:47):
I've had many types of thosesituations.
While I acknowledge that doctorsand dentists and teachers, they
have professional expertise butthey see our children in
specific contexts.
As a mom, we can see our childacross all contexts and all
situations.
(05:07):
This is true not only for ourkids, but also for us as a mom
and as a family unit.
For example, A few years ago, Iwas researching what are the
screen time recommendations forkids.
I was wanting to see what theexperts said about screen time
recommendations for differentage levels and just to make sure
(05:30):
I was being realistic with mykids.
I read lots of articles on lotsof topics and looked in lots of
different websites.
In multiple places, I readadvice from experts that screen
time for kids should be had withan adult right there with them,
watching alongside them.
This brought lots of, uh, guiltfor me.
(05:51):
I was feeling bad because I Idon't give my kids a lot of
screen time, but when I do, Iuse that time to get a lot of
things done.
Then as I read a little further,and I read the bios on these
experts, I realized that theydidn't have any children of
their own.
(06:13):
Then I was able to process theiradvice differently.
I could see the logic in thisadvice that if you're going to
let your kid have screen timethat you watch it with them so
you know what they're consumingand so you could be there to
answer questions and haveconversations around whatever
they're watching.
But then I could also see howthis advice wouldn't work for me
(06:35):
and my kids unless I had thefunds to hire help to do all of
the cooking and the cleaning andthe house management that also
comes along with raising kids.
These experts knew a lot abouthow kids grow and how they
develop and what would be bestfor them, but having never been
(06:55):
a parent themselves, They didn'tunderstand the part of being a
mom that involves the cookingand the cleaning and the house
management and how much timethat takes and to be with your
child every moment is just notpossible.
So owning that I'm the expert onmy kids and on my mothering, I
(07:19):
don't give my kids much screentime, but when I do, I don't
usually sit there with them.
I go get things done.
I also believe that moms haveintuition that no expert can
have.
They can sense what is best fortheir kids.
And sometimes that is right inline with what the expert's
(07:42):
saying.
And sometimes it goes againstit.
But having confidence in knowingthat You know your kid best can
make all the difference Now justbecause you're an expert doesn't
mean that you're always gonnaknow the right answer and that
you're always gonna get itright.
(08:02):
But what I'm trying to get at isholding on to the thought that
you are the expert on your kidscan give you the confidence that
you need when you're insituations and experts are
telling you something that justdoesn't seem right for your
child.
That just doesn't feel right.
(08:23):
As a mom.
You will get lots of advice andideas from experts and non
experts.
My experience is that much of itwill be so helpful to you and to
your kids as you're raisingthem.
But sometimes it can seem sooverwhelming like everybody
knows what's best for your kidbut you.
It's those times when it will bemost helpful to remember that
(08:45):
you are the expert on your kids.
You know what is best for thembecause you can see the whole
child.
You know more about them.
Now, because I believe smallchanges on the inside bring big
results on the outside, eachweek on my podcast I'm going to
give you a small changeschallenge.
(09:06):
Something small that you coulddo throughout the week if you
choose, that could end upbringing big results to your
life.
So, the small change challengefor this week is just to try out
the thought that you are theexpert on your kids.
And when you're in situationswhere people are giving you
advice or you're not sure whatto do, remember that thought.
(09:30):
And see how it helps you gainthe confidence you need to move
forward.
Remember, small changes on theinside bring big results on the
outside.
Thank you for joining me foranother episode of Inside Out
Mamas.
My hope is that our timetogether inspires more feelings
of peace, confidence, and joy inyour mama journey.
(09:52):
Be sure to subscribe so younever miss a show.
And if you're ready to takethese insights even deeper, head
over to brittanyturleycoaching.
com to check out my digitalworkshop designed to help you
reduce daily mom overwhelmwithout adding to your to do
list.
Thanks for listening, andremember, Small changes on the
(10:13):
inside bring big results on theoutside.
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