December 31, 2024 • 38 mins
Get ready for a holiday-themed rollercoaster of hilarity and jaw-dropping stories on Internet Friendsy! Dr. Tanner Goodman of Goodman Dental and his wife, Daniela Goodman, owner of Good Girl Aesthetics, are back for their second guest appearance, and they’re bringing the laughs, the commentary, and the festive vibes.
This episode features four unbelievable tales:
🎅 The Santa Savior: Preston goes all out to fulfill his young neighbor’s Christmas wish to meet Santa, but things don’t quite go as planned.
🐎 Lost in the Wild: One Redditor shares a horseback riding trip gone horribly wrong—complete with plot twists you’ll never see coming.
🏊 Water Polo Woes: A college athlete recalls a wild incident involving his tub of Vaseline and something he definitely wasn’t prepared for.
🎁 Grandma’s Gift Grab: A grandmother’s desperate attempt to swipe presents from her son and daughter-in-law leads to a chaotic (and cringeworthy) holiday memory.
Can you guess which story is fake? Join the conversation on our socials and share your pick!
Don’t miss this laugh-out-loud episode packed with situational humor, holiday chaos, and the Goodmans’ unbeatable chemistry. Perfect for fans of crazy Reddit stories, plot twists, and a touch of holiday spirit!
Listen now and make sure to follow Internet Friendsy for more insane stories, updates, and bonus content!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Well, this is this is big time. This is huge you guys our favorite guests back to join us for some more
(00:07):
Yeah, Tanner and Daniela Goodman
It's cuz I'm hot and sweaty
She doesn't actually that's a big
She's not done that a long time
I'm surprised she tries hard she threw a candy up in the air and she caught it in her mouth for our podcast listeners
(00:34):
She caught the in our mouth
Sometimes Joan we need to talk like Ila
It does
I need to go potty I always say I need to go potty it's fun. Okay. Yeah, we go mr
Goodman dental and good girl aesthetics check them out. What's your what's your app say it right now?
(01:00):
Good girl aesthetics AZ
Let's go
So welcome. We're stoked to have you guys
It's time to be here last week. We hit we did the worst Christmas gift of all time. Yeah, who had the fake I
Thought it was I can't remember but I I'm gonna say Isaiah
Wasn't me. Well, this was the story about getting all the joke gifts for Christmas, right? It was me
(01:26):
Yeah, it was it was me
Yep, that was I forgot the ending friends relationship due to a gift. Yes, that's boyfriend was in a picture. Yes
The friend gave a photo book like a photo album of her and like her new
(01:47):
Friend well, and there's lots of other pictures in there, too
But anyways an X showed up amongst those pictures and it was like a whole thing. Yeah, and at the relationship
Yeah, but it's fake. So that was good. Not real good fake didn't know never know would never know
this week
We have
(02:08):
Ho ho hold my beer
Where the beer is at?
There isn't a fridge chilling
All right, who wants to start oh?
(02:29):
Maybe me. Yeah
Well, ho ho hold my beer. I'm excited to hear your stories
And I'm excited to see who's the fake
And I can kind of feel like it's
Not to win this one
She's like coming out the gate already pointing fingers like cool cool cool probably not gonna be you got it
(02:56):
Okay, well, I'm excited Joe. Do you want to start you want me to start? Uh, you know what?
I would prefer if I went ahead and started
Oh, if that'd be okay. Wow. Sure. I found a gem granted. Thank you
Oh
(03:27):
Today I effed up by trying to help my neighbor's kid meet Santa
This is my first time posting on this sub
I am 29 have always considered myself to be the fun uncle of the family
I don't have kids of my own or even a girlfriend for that matter
But I love my nieces and nephews and would say I'm kind of a kid at heart last week
My neighbor six-year-old daughter Emma told me she really wanted to meet Santa her mom joked if you can make that happen
(03:50):
You'd be your hero. Okay, Emma's mom challenge accepted when I was a kid
my stepdad dressed up is in a in the full Santa suit and
Came in and rang bells for all the kids to wake up to we went downstairs and did the whole meat meat and greet thing
With the worst version of the mall Santa that smelled like curved cologne and fireball
(04:11):
All of us kids were either too young to realize it was just my stepdad at the time or threatened to keep the magic for the younger ones
I decided I'd one up that jump for my pal Emma. I snagged a cheap Santa costume pillow under my shirt the works
Around 11 p.m. I grab a ladder and climb onto their roof. I start lightly stomping and jingling some sleigh bells
I bought off Amazon
(04:32):
I'm feeling like a Christmas wizard until I hear Emma yell
I hear him followed by the sound of her front door opening panic sets in I freeze trying to figure out what to do then I hear
Emma's dad yelling who's on the roof?
That's when I realized I probably should have given them a heads up. I
(04:53):
Try to quietly crawl toward the ladder
But it's dark and slippery and my adrenaline is firing on all cylinders naturally
I lose my footing and thud on my stomach and begin my final descent down the angled roof by the grace of Chris Kringle himself
The only thing in my path leading off the second story roof was their chimney
Smash the chimney and come to rest at this point Emma's dad is outside with the flashlight yelling Preston. I see you you moron
(05:16):
I'm flailing trying to stand up when I hear the unmistakable sound of police sirens
Apparently a neighbor down the street had seen a suspicious figure climbing onto the roof in the middle of the night and called the cops now
I'm stuck on the roof in full Santa gear with the flashlight in my eyes and police pulling up to the house
Meanwhile Emma is standing in the yard absolutely losing her shit yelling Santa's real. I knew it. I knew it
(05:40):
Her dad is trying to explain to the cops that it's just his man-child neighbor with the cops are having none of it
They're screaming at me guns drawn making demands like show me your hands and walk backwards to the edge of the roof
Don't ask me how but I didn't get shot
I did get handcuffed in the Santa outfit in front of a very confused six-year-old
(06:00):
After 20 minutes of combative explanations, thanks officer dick
They finally let my neighbor vouch for me and the cops let me go
But now Emma's core memory will be of Santa getting arrested her dad won't stop calling me jingle jailbird
And I'm pretty sure half the neighbors have ring footage of me sliding down the roof dressed as Santa
I'm not sure if I save Christmas or ruined it, but I won't be forgetting this one anytime soon Wow
(06:25):
That's awesome
There's no way the cops show them and had their guns out right right. There's a dude dressed as Santa like
Yeah, it's doing Santa out there
I'm just gonna say fires in here. Like wait
Israel
I would have been like somebody's somebody's doing something for their kids, you know something like that
(06:51):
Yeah, you think yeah, I if you can see that he's in Santa gear like yeah, it's like
Well, the dad instantly knew that it was him
Soon as he's like shine the light on him
I'm picturing like you see in the movies where like you can see literally every single part of them
It's like lit up light
Star like if it's actually dark it's just a dude on the roof like who knows
(07:15):
It's crazy the story cuz I was telling Joe the other week. I was like I have a great movie idea
He's like I don't want to know and I said no I'm gonna tell you
so I
Think there needs to be like a Santa horror movie
Like literally like there is so many kids that would be literal like lured in by Santa like
(07:37):
Santa coming into a little kids room and she's like
Santa
Santa's that you and Santa's like climb in the bag and let's go puts her in takes her
And that's that's his elves that's his that's saying this elves
It's came out this year last year. I saw her singing and I hate it
(08:01):
Yeah, there's a lot of scary Santa is actually a killer, but he dresses up a Santa and kidnaps
It's giving John Wayne Gacy cuz he was like the clown guy. Yeah, he was like and he like it was like his front
You know, no, what's like the Norwegian Santa? That's like an evil character. What's his name?
(08:25):
I think it's great
Joe I feel like it was a good sir, but it kind of remind me of that vibe
Well, it wasn't supposed to give like murdering little kids vibe. I think I I think I know why he's probably still single
(08:49):
Hey by the way, I'll be on your roof tonight
I know he probably forgets on the first date to tell her even like where to go and be yeah, but his plan is like I live with
My mom and I'm 48
29 oh
You made that
We don't know if he lives with his mom
(09:14):
I thought
He said that the neighbors he had to talk to the neighbors
He didn't I when I read this I definitely thought that he like was just a guy just an adult guy that lives on his own
I'm like
No, he just gave the preface like I like like I'm like cool kids. I like yeah, I'm the fun uncle
(09:37):
He's a man child. Yeah, but he's responsible enough to own his own home
He's not responsible enough to tell his neighbors gonna get on his roof. Yes
I'm in the middle of the night. Yeah, it was like I think it said 11 p.m. Oh my gosh
Is there like an update or anything? No update, but I'll tell you the best comment
Okay, nothing screams holiday spirit like getting cuffed in a Santa Sue while a six-year-old cheers you on truly the Christmas miracle
(09:59):
We all deserve
Wow, just wrap that up a little bow 1.6 K up likes
Yeah, like this is not even afraid of the cops. Let's go Santa. You're so cool
End up in jail and Christmas chronicles even in a Santa Claus. He goes to jail. Yeah. Yeah, he does
(10:21):
Yeah, literally he falls off the roof too. He kills Santa because he scares him
So if you ever
Yeah, that is you see the new Jack Black movie where he's not
The kid accidentally like he
Doesn't know how to spell and so he I don't know that means he's just like say
(10:45):
Santa you write
And he sends the letter
And then Jack Black is the Satan and then he goes and like he's like what do you want?
It looks funny
Because then it's about how Satan can't break this kid like this kid is just so good
(11:07):
Bring the Doritos
Cool ranch to please cool ranch raise your hand
Whoa, so the man nacho cheese
Not cheese really cheese is like I love ranch, but I would say I would rather eat so men like cool ranch women like nacho cheese
(11:32):
I would demolish those mother
Okay, winners
Oh my
Oh, he wrote he wrote the intro. Yes, why did okay?
We miss that you guys this is Tanner in the flesh that literally created our
(11:54):
Our internet, but that's kind of it. My voice is gone
Okay, wait you're up saddle up because this story is gonna take you on a wild ride
(12:18):
Every year my family goes on our annual Fourth of July trip to Sholo and I always bring a friend with me my best friend
Kennedy and I were seniors in high school at the time and she'd be coming with me on this trip for years
She'd be coming with me
(12:39):
This particular year we decided to book a horseback riding trail together and my older sister Macy joined us
My mom put the ride thinking it would be a fun adventure
She drove us to the horseback riding place and when we arrived my sister Kennedy and I got out of the car out of the barn
Came this older homeless-looking man alongside the owner who was a woman the owner asked okay
(13:02):
Who here is the best at riding horses?
Of course, I didn't raise my hand because I've learned the hard way that saying you've ridden horses before often gets you the most
Difficult horse unfortunately my sister Macy decided to speak up saying oh, she's the best
So I was assigned the biggest black horse named midnight who was quite the character
(13:22):
My best friend who had never been horseback riding in her life was given the smallest horse
While my postpartum sister four months out from having her baby was assigned a medium sized horse
We mounted our horses and the owner announced that Jim the old man would be taking us on our trail ride
She told my mom it'll be an hour and you could pick them up here after my mom hesitated for a second
(13:43):
It's uneasy about leaving three girls with a stranger in the woods
But eventually pushed aside the feeling and drove back to the resort. What's the worst you could happen? The resort in solo?
What's that? Torian
Okay, at first everything seemed fine. We chatted with Jim here and there, but I didn't like his vibe
He seemed overly flirty with my sister, which made me uncomfortable
The only good thing about Jim was that he wasn't stripped like most trail ride guides
(14:07):
Usually they have a bunch of rules no galloping no going off trail, etc
But Jim was the opposite he encouraged us to go off trail take photos and even run the horses a little at one point
Jim decided to take us to a scenic spot for photos
We agreed thinking it sounded fun
But little did we know this detour would completely take us off the trail after the photos
(14:27):
We started heading back or so we thought
Time dragged on and I noticed Jim was getting frantic
He kept looking around nervously and checking his phone, but there was no signal. I checked my phone, too
Nothing. That's when I realized we were lost and we were already 30 minutes late getting back
At first my sister didn't notice anything still chatting away and Kennedy was just happy to still be alive on her horse
(14:49):
Meanwhile, my horse was getting increasingly irritated
Midnight kept nipping at my sister's horse causing it to buck which terrified me
Then Jim started leading us down steep treacherous paths where we had to guide our horses sideways
I was absolutely terrified and pissed off. I asked Jim if I could get off and walk my horse because I felt unsafe
But he yelled at me to stay on and insisted I'd be fine
(15:12):
My frustration grew my horse was acting up and my friend who had no experience writing looked completely overwhelmed
Finally after two hours of wandering Jim admitted he was lost
Panic set in to make matters worse. It started pouring rain
We were soaked freezing and wearing summer clothes
My sister who was still breastfeeding was in agony because her chest was full of milk and sore from the bumpy ride
(15:35):
She was
Jim could
Jim's goal is like the sale for these puppies can get
She was completely drenched from leaking
(16:07):
As if that wasn't enough Kennedy whispered to me I'm bleeding through she was on her period and I'm completely
I
Think that could go
And then completely bled through her pants and the saddle there was blood all over the saddle
She ended up taking off her sports bra to use as a makeshift pad
(16:31):
She literally took the sports bra off. No gym was in front then it was the sister then it was me. I mean
So now we had my soaked postpartum sister my friend bleeding everywhere and me
Trying not to get bucked off my angry horse
After eight and a half hours of being lost
(16:52):
We finally found a side road and were able to contact someone we were miles from the barn
The manager came to pick us up in an old beat-up truck with blankets and we were absolutely frozen drenched and sore and bloody
Yeah
Yeah, what's that thing that happens in like 20 minutes if you don't let them out. What do you get? Oh
(17:17):
Mestitis yeah, yeah
When we got back my mom and family were waiting worried sick
I still can't believe they didn't call the police or send out a search party. They just trusted the one manager to find us
Needless to say we survived, but we have never been horseback riding again
Okay, but like does it every horse know its way home like isn't that a known thing midnight?
(17:41):
Didn't this isn't I'm like, yep
Oh, I was just gonna say so this story is a true story and this happened to me and my sister and
(18:12):
And 10 Z yep, and so what happened literally was
She's in front my sister then me and then Kenzie was kind of like off to the side my horse hated my sister's horse
Hated it so it was getting so irritated like literally 30 minutes into this trail ride
We were out there for eight and a half hours and our guide didn't let us get off our horse once
(18:35):
He was screaming at me because I I was the meanest out of all the girls
Towards like how old are you?
We're seniors in high school
And my sister was I don't know maybe 24 25 at that point
Nope, we probably just peed on the saddle. That's probably what Kenzie did. I didn't I didn't have to but literally
(18:58):
We did not get off the horse until we finally found a side road
And we all got off and he was just smoking a cigarette like literally three of them waiting
for the man no
This happens all the time wrong turn again damn it
(19:21):
I just never forget looking over at my friend and her just being like
I was so pissed the entire night
And I kept yelling Jim I need to get off this effing horse like I was so mad but
(19:53):
She's and Kenzie's just like the sweetest human ever and she's just like
I'm gonna take off my sports bra okay
She's like this and then she took it off while she's on the horse
Just another example of men and women are not the same
(20:16):
I'm yoga pants on she's like
She's like all's well
And I'm like
Okay, like and I told Kenzie later on I was like dude
I didn't give a crap about anyone but myself at that point
I was trying not to die
(20:38):
Everyone sitting for themselves
Yes, it was horrible news article
And we get lost
I was so upset that this did see this is my chance to shine with this story
like offer you any compensation they gave it my mom and dad the horseback
Yeah, the money back and they had to fight for it my mom had to fight for it
(20:58):
Yeah, so we finally get to our way to this like end of the road like we find a side road or number
And it's like a dirt road. We're on miles and miles and miles off the
Off the trail or like the barn. I wish I would have remembered but it was so far like so far and
So we finally find the side of the road and then Jim's okay girls. We all can get off. So we're all
(21:27):
Girls go ahead
So we all like
Getting off remember and Kenzie's like trying to like wipe the saddle, you know, so we get off and we literally all three of us
It just hugged each other and we were shivering the whole time like we are so so cold
Or we're just holding just shivering and we're just under these trees and we had to wait
(21:50):
I think it was like a good 20 minutes
For her to drive from the bar actually it might have been longer than that drive from the barn to come get us
And we like get in the back and we don't know either of these people like this is like
Where's the cops? Where's where's the search party like where is
Where's our family you guys are all just out having a good old time and Tori on and we're dying
(22:16):
100% I don't know my dad knew until we got home like so how's your day?
Cool. Oh, yeah, we almost died
But there was a point it was about like three hours in where we were just going on this crazy trail having
having to literally go down this
Hill that's going straight down. We had to literally take our I don't know if any of you have seen this or done this
(22:37):
Take your horses down sideways because they will literally flip
So we're Kenzie's never ridden the horse in her life
and
And she's bleeding out
And bless her heart. She was like, I don't know. I was like, I don't know then I'm just trying to go like literally leave her
Trying to do this. Thankfully the horses kind of knew what they were doing at that point, but
(23:02):
Damn Jim
But there was a point in this
Experience where I was like this man is taking us to his abandoned cabin or like his cabin where he is going to hurt us
Like we would have been screwed. Yeah
Midnight safety!
Yeah!
(23:22):
Yeah!
I might have had the fake and lied to you this whole time you guys or this could be a true story
But I am here I have survived to tell a tale
Yee-haw
I'm gonna be reading from today. I asked up
the title is
(23:42):
Letting my mom use my butthole Vaseline
Oh!
Okay, wait
How long have we all had a Vaseline?
All right, actually I actually I do have a tub. Let's go. I have one
I have aqua fort and Vaseline different ones for different equations, but let's go
(24:05):
You don't like the poop bop or boop
Sometimes you just in a
shower it off. I bidet in the shower
I'll be in the bathroom
Mine's from like sweating, golfing like having the golf bag on it
So this happened a while ago, but I almost busted a lung relieving it today or reliving it today
(24:26):
I told you not to do that! I told you not to do that!
Relieving?
What were you busting again?
Butthole Vaseline and busting! Go!
Let's do it again!
So this happened a while ago, but I almost busted a lung reliving it today
I hope I'm not breaking any rules
(24:48):
When I was in university, I was a division one water polo player
This means we have tight swimsuits that are singular panel with no smaller straps than someone might hold onto
Basically completely covered from neck to panty line, front and back
These swimsuits are extremely tight and zip up in the back
We often had to do long swim sets wearing water polo suits instead of normal swimsuits or do get out drills
(25:12):
Where we would swim, pull ourselves out of the water and do some exercise on land
Burpees
I have extremely sensitive skin, so my water polo suit would chafe my skin horribly
Basically creating burns where the suit rubbed against my skin
I would get burns from swimming long distance and it zipped, unzip it, and get burns in a V pattern where the zipper sat
Water polo suits also ride up like a wedgie giving me chafed burns in my butt crack
(25:38):
My doctor recommended that I try applying Vaseline to reduce the friction
Which I did basically every day, therefore I had a quart 2 pint size tub of Vaseline
When I was moving out of my apartment, my parents came to help me out
(26:00):
I was packing up my stuff when I turn around and see my mom holding the tub of Vaseline rubbing her lips together
How you do when you apply chafstick
She's like a dog
She just sees a giant tub of Vaseline and is like, oh yes, you
I do that all the time
(26:22):
But not your daughters, you're like moving there and you're just like, oh my gosh
The look on my face must have been utter shock and horror
She goes, what?
And I burst out laughing
I tell her that's my water polo Vaseline that I rub all over my body
It's not for lips
I didn't mention exactly what unmentionables I'd applied it to
(26:46):
I'm not an animal, it's not like I was double dipping, but these burns were crazy painful
And I can't be totally sure I didn't say screw it some days and double dip
Double dip
Yeah
One dip isn't enough
Enough for a bowl
A little bit more
(27:10):
Okay, you are right, I did double dip, but I tried not to
Oh, it's true, it's okay
I'm gonna jump into a lot of heavily chlorinated water about 30 seconds later, so I figured sanitation wise it was whatever
Real water sport athletes pee in the pool constantly, sorry, but it's true
(27:32):
I don't know why that happens
I'm not even an athlete, I'm not a dootere
Today while visiting for Christmas, my mom offered me some Vaseline for my lips
From a normal size container that lives in her medicine cabinet
And I said, you don't use this one for your butthole, right?
And she said, I never told her exactly what I used it for, but it's been almost 10 years and she's fine, so whatever
(27:54):
Anyway, I think we both have more core memories of each other's faces on that day, her innocently rubbing her lips together and me wide-eyed in panic
That's so good
Do you guys want to hear a funny comment?
Yeah, I'd love to
Okay, reminds me of the time my granny put some kind of tingling lube on her lips thinking it was chapstick lol
(28:16):
My cousin got it as like a novelty gift and left it somewhere random
Granny asked if she could use the chapstick
Cousin said, sure, from the living room
Next thing we know, my grandma was walking in the room, popping her lips saying they feel funny and asking what kind of chapstick it was
Holding it up in front of the whole family, my cousin got a lesson in putting shit like that in the drawer from that day on lol
(28:38):
It was like a lube
My sister, grandma used to not have, she didn't have teeth like the last few years of her life
She would suck the salt off the pretzels and then put them back
And then Carly comes around and is like, hmmm pretzels and she's like, these are so bland
They're kind of soft and then she realizes, these are grandma's pretzels
(28:59):
Sucked on pretzels
I would throw up
I would literally die
She was old, like this was like right before grandma died
I'm not agreeing, I'm right off
Grandma, I didn't see her laughing years and she was laughing her head off
Well then, thank you Carly for that
Thank you Carly for sucking on grandma's sucked on pretzels
(29:21):
I went up for a dance in Sholo before I lived there
And I forgot to brush my teeth before I drove up there
So before my date for the school homecoming
I was like, oh my gosh, I need to brush my teeth
So I was like, Chase, I need to use your bathroom
So I went peed and I was like, oh my gosh, Chase's toothbrush
So I used Chase's toothbrush to brush my teeth
(29:45):
And then I never told them
So like a year later when I'm living with him, I'm like, hey bro, like I want to tell you something
I had to tell you this, a year ago I used your toothbrush
And he still was using it till that day
It's not that bad
That's nasty
Chase was a Paul
(30:07):
Chase was for reeking out
Okay, but that's like your family, you guys are germaphones
I wouldn't care, I'd be like, cool, you can use that toothbrush, whatever you want
I just wash it off
I agree
That's your family though
This is so funny
I think people wash their chicken with dish soap
(30:29):
But Dawn, like to wash their chicken
Who does that?
People wash ducks
People wash their chicken with soap?
Yes, like scrubbed it
I thought that was just scrubbing
I don't know if that was, yeah
I thought that was on like the father of the bride
Didn't they do that on that one?
Oh did they? I don't know
It was a movie though
(30:51):
So this is from Am I the Asshole
And it's Am I the Asshole for telling my mother-in-law not to place her own gift tags on Christmas presents I ordered for my children
So basically I ordered all my children's Christmas presents online to be sent to my in-laws home
As we were spending Christmas there this year
My mother-in-law said that she didn't mind wrapping them all up before we got there
We arrived here yesterday and all was well
After the kids got settled in their room
(31:13):
I got a chance to ask her about the presents
She told me that she mostly all wrapped with just a couple she needed to finish off
They were stored in the basement
I did ask if she needed a hand finishing the rest off
But she just insisted that she would finish the rest after our journey
So I rejoined my husband in the sitting room
A couple hours later she had gone to take a nap
So I went down to their basement to see how many had been wrapped
(31:35):
Like she had said there were some still left to wrap
But as I was checking some of the bigger presents
I noticed that they already had gift tags taped to them
And when I flipped the tags they read from Grandma
Not just one but all of the bigger ones
So I immediately went and told my husband about what I just found
And he said that his mom had asked if she could put a few of her tags on
(31:58):
As she didn't want to disappoint her grandson
My husband agreed that she could
And told me that it isn't a big deal
And that it's the only time we'll be spending Christmas over it there
As we live four hours away
I'm mad that most of the bigger presents are things that I had pre-ordered for a long time
And put a lot of thought into
And have some toys personalized with their name
(32:20):
Which costed a lot of money
Anyways, my mother-in-law came back downstairs from her nap
So I basically told her that I don't think it's right
For her to just do without asking me also
She got super upset and told me that I am being selfish
And tried to guilt-trip me saying that this could be one of the last Christmas's she will ever have
She's old but not that old
She's 71
(32:41):
She told me that I'm ruining Christmas already
I don't know, I'm trying my best to appear as nothing is wrong around my kids
I do feel bad and that I maybe have overreacted
I don't know what to do, should I leave her tags on and apologize
Or put my own tags on and tell her she should have bought more
This is turning into a nightmare
You're a grandma, you buy your grandkids like with our mom
(33:04):
You'll never have to worry about that
As the mom, would you be upset?
Yeah, 100%
I'd be like, oh no, I got my kids this, I'm gonna put my name on there
I'd be pissed as the dad
I'd be so mad at my husband, why did you think that was okay?
But also I would feel like less than learned
Don't send the gifts, I'm gonna have to do it myself and wrap them and talk to myself
Well, they're coming from out of state
(33:26):
And they don't travel with the big gifts
This is four hours
Yeah, I think that's really not that bad
But then they got to take two cars
But they were going to their parents, they were guests
It wasn't like the parents' childhood, they were home and right
We couldn't get presents here
Right
It was the other way around
Yeah, so grandma should have gotten her own freaking gifts
Go to the dollar store, grandma
(33:47):
I went the other day and there wasn't good stuff
I was disappointed
And they jacked the prices up
It's like the $2 store
It's like, Joe, you're getting dollar store gifts
Oh yeah, dope, I trust me, I know
And they freaking, I'll have like a $5 section
And of course that's the section my kid wants to go
Like why am I at Dollar Tree?
(34:08):
You're at the $5 tree
Hey, may I?
What?
May I contribute?
Absolutely
So there's an easy solution here
Obviously you wouldn't have known beforehand
But I just was putting myself in this scenario
Grandma's poor, she can't afford the gifts for the kids
Like you get out in front of it and say
(34:30):
Grandma, I'm going to send you a $200 Visa gift card
Go crazy, like buy gifts for our kids
They're from you
But go put in the work
You don't get to just take the cool stuff we bought our kids
And save it from grandma's poor
Yeah, that's what it said
Where's the grandpa?
Oh, it did say grandma's poor?
What did it say?
(34:51):
It said that she...
It didn't necessarily say that
She just said that his mom had asked if she could put a few of her tags on
As she didn't want to disappoint her grandsons
My husband agreed that she couldn't tell me that it was a big deal
If the husband already knew, he should have been like, heads up
I would have given you presents
Take the little ones
So then I would have prepared like, here grandma
(35:12):
And for her?
I bought that for you
I know, and you can't do that without asking first
Like I'm just going to put my name on this tag
Well, she did ask the son, the son's just dumb
Oh, and the son being tossed and alive
Yeah, that makes sense
Well, the grandma's smart for asking the husband
For asking her own son
Well, duh
I would want her to pick them so it's like more meaningful
(35:34):
And like you want to give them gifts
Like get out there and pick them yourself
You're not just like taking them
You're not just inheriting them
Like that's like lazy and like pity party
No, I'm not here for the pity party
Here's a hotter box, go get a couple gifts
Exactly
We don't even know if she's poor
But I mean like
Yeah, and if you're just assuming that's probably what she's like
What if it's two last minutes?
Like isn't this on Christmas Eve?
(35:56):
This is all hot
Sounds like it
How's she gonna have time to go get it on the go?
Well then grandma needs to stop doing what I do
And wait till Christmas Eve
Exactly
Christmas is the same day every year
Grandma
You gotta just get ahead of this thing
No, it's coming
Grandma
Save yourself security, grandma
I'm freaking out to get some presents
You're 28,000 a year
You can't spend 200, come on
(36:20):
Oh poor grandma
She just wants to feel special
She doesn't want to feel special
But like I bought those and I want to be special
Especially cause like the mom put in the work
She said it was like personalized
And she had some special gifts in there
I would definitely, yeah customize
I would definitely want that to be like
This is for mommy or daddy
(36:41):
Or Santa Claus
Or Santa
Yeah that's the thing
What about him?
What about Santa?
Would you rather give the grandma or some magical
Man on the list?
No
Oh my good presents came from my parents
My stalking
Really good presents from parents
No way
My moral from Santa
What an episode
What?
Grandma's stealing the gifts
(37:02):
Yeah grandma's stealing the gifts
He was Vaseline in her butt cheeks
On her lip cheeks
You were
Whitney's was the period booby horse
And Jo's was the
What was Jo's?
What was Jo's?
Santa caught on the roof
Oh yeah
Preston
Vanchise
(37:23):
Preston, yes
What are you guys saying?
Preston what the heck?
I think Jo's is fake
Jo's is fake
I even think it's Jo
Or I think Isaiah
Because Isaiah's was so freakin funny
I can't see that happening
I think it could be Whitney
Thanks guys for hanging out
Watching, listening, love ya
Hello to you
Hey internet friends, you're on 3
1, 2, 3
(37:45):
I love you
Love you guys
See you next week
Well, this is this is big time. This is huge you guys our favorite guests back to join us for some more
(00:07):
Yeah, Tanner and Daniela Goodman
It's cuz I'm hot and sweaty
She doesn't actually that's a big
She's not done that a long time
I'm surprised she tries hard she threw a candy up in the air and she caught it in her mouth for our podcast listeners
(00:34):
She caught the in our mouth
Sometimes Joan we need to talk like Ila
It does
I need to go potty I always say I need to go potty it's fun. Okay. Yeah, we go mr
Goodman dental and good girl aesthetics check them out. What's your what's your app say it right now?
(01:00):
Good girl aesthetics AZ
Let's go
So welcome. We're stoked to have you guys
It's time to be here last week. We hit we did the worst Christmas gift of all time. Yeah, who had the fake I
Thought it was I can't remember but I I'm gonna say Isaiah
Wasn't me. Well, this was the story about getting all the joke gifts for Christmas, right? It was me
(01:26):
Yeah, it was it was me
Yep, that was I forgot the ending friends relationship due to a gift. Yes, that's boyfriend was in a picture. Yes
The friend gave a photo book like a photo album of her and like her new
(01:47):
Friend well, and there's lots of other pictures in there, too
But anyways an X showed up amongst those pictures and it was like a whole thing. Yeah, and at the relationship
Yeah, but it's fake. So that was good. Not real good fake didn't know never know would never know
this week
We have
(02:08):
Ho ho hold my beer
Where the beer is at?
There isn't a fridge chilling
All right, who wants to start oh?
(02:29):
Maybe me. Yeah
Well, ho ho hold my beer. I'm excited to hear your stories
And I'm excited to see who's the fake
And I can kind of feel like it's
Not to win this one
She's like coming out the gate already pointing fingers like cool cool cool probably not gonna be you got it
(02:56):
Okay, well, I'm excited Joe. Do you want to start you want me to start? Uh, you know what?
I would prefer if I went ahead and started
Oh, if that'd be okay. Wow. Sure. I found a gem granted. Thank you
Oh
(03:27):
Today I effed up by trying to help my neighbor's kid meet Santa
This is my first time posting on this sub
I am 29 have always considered myself to be the fun uncle of the family
I don't have kids of my own or even a girlfriend for that matter
But I love my nieces and nephews and would say I'm kind of a kid at heart last week
My neighbor six-year-old daughter Emma told me she really wanted to meet Santa her mom joked if you can make that happen
(03:50):
You'd be your hero. Okay, Emma's mom challenge accepted when I was a kid
my stepdad dressed up is in a in the full Santa suit and
Came in and rang bells for all the kids to wake up to we went downstairs and did the whole meat meat and greet thing
With the worst version of the mall Santa that smelled like curved cologne and fireball
(04:11):
All of us kids were either too young to realize it was just my stepdad at the time or threatened to keep the magic for the younger ones
I decided I'd one up that jump for my pal Emma. I snagged a cheap Santa costume pillow under my shirt the works
Around 11 p.m. I grab a ladder and climb onto their roof. I start lightly stomping and jingling some sleigh bells
I bought off Amazon
(04:32):
I'm feeling like a Christmas wizard until I hear Emma yell
I hear him followed by the sound of her front door opening panic sets in I freeze trying to figure out what to do then I hear
Emma's dad yelling who's on the roof?
That's when I realized I probably should have given them a heads up. I
(04:53):
Try to quietly crawl toward the ladder
But it's dark and slippery and my adrenaline is firing on all cylinders naturally
I lose my footing and thud on my stomach and begin my final descent down the angled roof by the grace of Chris Kringle himself
The only thing in my path leading off the second story roof was their chimney
Smash the chimney and come to rest at this point Emma's dad is outside with the flashlight yelling Preston. I see you you moron
(05:16):
I'm flailing trying to stand up when I hear the unmistakable sound of police sirens
Apparently a neighbor down the street had seen a suspicious figure climbing onto the roof in the middle of the night and called the cops now
I'm stuck on the roof in full Santa gear with the flashlight in my eyes and police pulling up to the house
Meanwhile Emma is standing in the yard absolutely losing her shit yelling Santa's real. I knew it. I knew it
(05:40):
Her dad is trying to explain to the cops that it's just his man-child neighbor with the cops are having none of it
They're screaming at me guns drawn making demands like show me your hands and walk backwards to the edge of the roof
Don't ask me how but I didn't get shot
I did get handcuffed in the Santa outfit in front of a very confused six-year-old
(06:00):
After 20 minutes of combative explanations, thanks officer dick
They finally let my neighbor vouch for me and the cops let me go
But now Emma's core memory will be of Santa getting arrested her dad won't stop calling me jingle jailbird
And I'm pretty sure half the neighbors have ring footage of me sliding down the roof dressed as Santa
I'm not sure if I save Christmas or ruined it, but I won't be forgetting this one anytime soon Wow
(06:25):
That's awesome
There's no way the cops show them and had their guns out right right. There's a dude dressed as Santa like
Yeah, it's doing Santa out there
I'm just gonna say fires in here. Like wait
Israel
I would have been like somebody's somebody's doing something for their kids, you know something like that
(06:51):
Yeah, you think yeah, I if you can see that he's in Santa gear like yeah, it's like
Well, the dad instantly knew that it was him
Soon as he's like shine the light on him
I'm picturing like you see in the movies where like you can see literally every single part of them
It's like lit up light
Star like if it's actually dark it's just a dude on the roof like who knows
(07:15):
It's crazy the story cuz I was telling Joe the other week. I was like I have a great movie idea
He's like I don't want to know and I said no I'm gonna tell you
so I
Think there needs to be like a Santa horror movie
Like literally like there is so many kids that would be literal like lured in by Santa like
(07:37):
Santa coming into a little kids room and she's like
Santa
Santa's that you and Santa's like climb in the bag and let's go puts her in takes her
And that's that's his elves that's his that's saying this elves
It's came out this year last year. I saw her singing and I hate it
(08:01):
Yeah, there's a lot of scary Santa is actually a killer, but he dresses up a Santa and kidnaps
It's giving John Wayne Gacy cuz he was like the clown guy. Yeah, he was like and he like it was like his front
You know, no, what's like the Norwegian Santa? That's like an evil character. What's his name?
(08:25):
I think it's great
Joe I feel like it was a good sir, but it kind of remind me of that vibe
Well, it wasn't supposed to give like murdering little kids vibe. I think I I think I know why he's probably still single
(08:49):
Hey by the way, I'll be on your roof tonight
I know he probably forgets on the first date to tell her even like where to go and be yeah, but his plan is like I live with
My mom and I'm 48
29 oh
You made that
We don't know if he lives with his mom
(09:14):
I thought
He said that the neighbors he had to talk to the neighbors
He didn't I when I read this I definitely thought that he like was just a guy just an adult guy that lives on his own
I'm like
No, he just gave the preface like I like like I'm like cool kids. I like yeah, I'm the fun uncle
(09:37):
He's a man child. Yeah, but he's responsible enough to own his own home
He's not responsible enough to tell his neighbors gonna get on his roof. Yes
I'm in the middle of the night. Yeah, it was like I think it said 11 p.m. Oh my gosh
Is there like an update or anything? No update, but I'll tell you the best comment
Okay, nothing screams holiday spirit like getting cuffed in a Santa Sue while a six-year-old cheers you on truly the Christmas miracle
(09:59):
We all deserve
Wow, just wrap that up a little bow 1.6 K up likes
Yeah, like this is not even afraid of the cops. Let's go Santa. You're so cool
End up in jail and Christmas chronicles even in a Santa Claus. He goes to jail. Yeah. Yeah, he does
(10:21):
Yeah, literally he falls off the roof too. He kills Santa because he scares him
So if you ever
Yeah, that is you see the new Jack Black movie where he's not
The kid accidentally like he
Doesn't know how to spell and so he I don't know that means he's just like say
(10:45):
Santa you write
And he sends the letter
And then Jack Black is the Satan and then he goes and like he's like what do you want?
It looks funny
Because then it's about how Satan can't break this kid like this kid is just so good
(11:07):
Bring the Doritos
Cool ranch to please cool ranch raise your hand
Whoa, so the man nacho cheese
Not cheese really cheese is like I love ranch, but I would say I would rather eat so men like cool ranch women like nacho cheese
(11:32):
I would demolish those mother
Okay, winners
Oh my
Oh, he wrote he wrote the intro. Yes, why did okay?
We miss that you guys this is Tanner in the flesh that literally created our
(11:54):
Our internet, but that's kind of it. My voice is gone
Okay, wait you're up saddle up because this story is gonna take you on a wild ride
(12:18):
Every year my family goes on our annual Fourth of July trip to Sholo and I always bring a friend with me my best friend
Kennedy and I were seniors in high school at the time and she'd be coming with me on this trip for years
She'd be coming with me
(12:39):
This particular year we decided to book a horseback riding trail together and my older sister Macy joined us
My mom put the ride thinking it would be a fun adventure
She drove us to the horseback riding place and when we arrived my sister Kennedy and I got out of the car out of the barn
Came this older homeless-looking man alongside the owner who was a woman the owner asked okay
(13:02):
Who here is the best at riding horses?
Of course, I didn't raise my hand because I've learned the hard way that saying you've ridden horses before often gets you the most
Difficult horse unfortunately my sister Macy decided to speak up saying oh, she's the best
So I was assigned the biggest black horse named midnight who was quite the character
(13:22):
My best friend who had never been horseback riding in her life was given the smallest horse
While my postpartum sister four months out from having her baby was assigned a medium sized horse
We mounted our horses and the owner announced that Jim the old man would be taking us on our trail ride
She told my mom it'll be an hour and you could pick them up here after my mom hesitated for a second
(13:43):
It's uneasy about leaving three girls with a stranger in the woods
But eventually pushed aside the feeling and drove back to the resort. What's the worst you could happen? The resort in solo?
What's that? Torian
Okay, at first everything seemed fine. We chatted with Jim here and there, but I didn't like his vibe
He seemed overly flirty with my sister, which made me uncomfortable
The only good thing about Jim was that he wasn't stripped like most trail ride guides
(14:07):
Usually they have a bunch of rules no galloping no going off trail, etc
But Jim was the opposite he encouraged us to go off trail take photos and even run the horses a little at one point
Jim decided to take us to a scenic spot for photos
We agreed thinking it sounded fun
But little did we know this detour would completely take us off the trail after the photos
(14:27):
We started heading back or so we thought
Time dragged on and I noticed Jim was getting frantic
He kept looking around nervously and checking his phone, but there was no signal. I checked my phone, too
Nothing. That's when I realized we were lost and we were already 30 minutes late getting back
At first my sister didn't notice anything still chatting away and Kennedy was just happy to still be alive on her horse
(14:49):
Meanwhile, my horse was getting increasingly irritated
Midnight kept nipping at my sister's horse causing it to buck which terrified me
Then Jim started leading us down steep treacherous paths where we had to guide our horses sideways
I was absolutely terrified and pissed off. I asked Jim if I could get off and walk my horse because I felt unsafe
But he yelled at me to stay on and insisted I'd be fine
(15:12):
My frustration grew my horse was acting up and my friend who had no experience writing looked completely overwhelmed
Finally after two hours of wandering Jim admitted he was lost
Panic set in to make matters worse. It started pouring rain
We were soaked freezing and wearing summer clothes
My sister who was still breastfeeding was in agony because her chest was full of milk and sore from the bumpy ride
(15:35):
She was
Jim could
Jim's goal is like the sale for these puppies can get
She was completely drenched from leaking
(16:07):
As if that wasn't enough Kennedy whispered to me I'm bleeding through she was on her period and I'm completely
I
Think that could go
And then completely bled through her pants and the saddle there was blood all over the saddle
She ended up taking off her sports bra to use as a makeshift pad
(16:31):
She literally took the sports bra off. No gym was in front then it was the sister then it was me. I mean
So now we had my soaked postpartum sister my friend bleeding everywhere and me
Trying not to get bucked off my angry horse
After eight and a half hours of being lost
(16:52):
We finally found a side road and were able to contact someone we were miles from the barn
The manager came to pick us up in an old beat-up truck with blankets and we were absolutely frozen drenched and sore and bloody
Yeah
Yeah, what's that thing that happens in like 20 minutes if you don't let them out. What do you get? Oh
(17:17):
Mestitis yeah, yeah
When we got back my mom and family were waiting worried sick
I still can't believe they didn't call the police or send out a search party. They just trusted the one manager to find us
Needless to say we survived, but we have never been horseback riding again
Okay, but like does it every horse know its way home like isn't that a known thing midnight?
(17:41):
Didn't this isn't I'm like, yep
Oh, I was just gonna say so this story is a true story and this happened to me and my sister and
(18:12):
And 10 Z yep, and so what happened literally was
She's in front my sister then me and then Kenzie was kind of like off to the side my horse hated my sister's horse
Hated it so it was getting so irritated like literally 30 minutes into this trail ride
We were out there for eight and a half hours and our guide didn't let us get off our horse once
(18:35):
He was screaming at me because I I was the meanest out of all the girls
Towards like how old are you?
We're seniors in high school
And my sister was I don't know maybe 24 25 at that point
Nope, we probably just peed on the saddle. That's probably what Kenzie did. I didn't I didn't have to but literally
(18:58):
We did not get off the horse until we finally found a side road
And we all got off and he was just smoking a cigarette like literally three of them waiting
for the man no
This happens all the time wrong turn again damn it
(19:21):
I just never forget looking over at my friend and her just being like
I was so pissed the entire night
And I kept yelling Jim I need to get off this effing horse like I was so mad but
(19:53):
She's and Kenzie's just like the sweetest human ever and she's just like
I'm gonna take off my sports bra okay
She's like this and then she took it off while she's on the horse
Just another example of men and women are not the same
(20:16):
I'm yoga pants on she's like
She's like all's well
And I'm like
Okay, like and I told Kenzie later on I was like dude
I didn't give a crap about anyone but myself at that point
I was trying not to die
(20:38):
Everyone sitting for themselves
Yes, it was horrible news article
And we get lost
I was so upset that this did see this is my chance to shine with this story
like offer you any compensation they gave it my mom and dad the horseback
Yeah, the money back and they had to fight for it my mom had to fight for it
(20:58):
Yeah, so we finally get to our way to this like end of the road like we find a side road or number
And it's like a dirt road. We're on miles and miles and miles off the
Off the trail or like the barn. I wish I would have remembered but it was so far like so far and
So we finally find the side of the road and then Jim's okay girls. We all can get off. So we're all
(21:27):
Girls go ahead
So we all like
Getting off remember and Kenzie's like trying to like wipe the saddle, you know, so we get off and we literally all three of us
It just hugged each other and we were shivering the whole time like we are so so cold
Or we're just holding just shivering and we're just under these trees and we had to wait
(21:50):
I think it was like a good 20 minutes
For her to drive from the bar actually it might have been longer than that drive from the barn to come get us
And we like get in the back and we don't know either of these people like this is like
Where's the cops? Where's where's the search party like where is
Where's our family you guys are all just out having a good old time and Tori on and we're dying
(22:16):
100% I don't know my dad knew until we got home like so how's your day?
Cool. Oh, yeah, we almost died
But there was a point it was about like three hours in where we were just going on this crazy trail having
having to literally go down this
Hill that's going straight down. We had to literally take our I don't know if any of you have seen this or done this
(22:37):
Take your horses down sideways because they will literally flip
So we're Kenzie's never ridden the horse in her life
and
And she's bleeding out
And bless her heart. She was like, I don't know. I was like, I don't know then I'm just trying to go like literally leave her
Trying to do this. Thankfully the horses kind of knew what they were doing at that point, but
(23:02):
Damn Jim
But there was a point in this
Experience where I was like this man is taking us to his abandoned cabin or like his cabin where he is going to hurt us
Like we would have been screwed. Yeah
Midnight safety!
Yeah!
(23:22):
Yeah!
I might have had the fake and lied to you this whole time you guys or this could be a true story
But I am here I have survived to tell a tale
Yee-haw
I'm gonna be reading from today. I asked up
the title is
(23:42):
Letting my mom use my butthole Vaseline
Oh!
Okay, wait
How long have we all had a Vaseline?
All right, actually I actually I do have a tub. Let's go. I have one
I have aqua fort and Vaseline different ones for different equations, but let's go
(24:05):
You don't like the poop bop or boop
Sometimes you just in a
shower it off. I bidet in the shower
I'll be in the bathroom
Mine's from like sweating, golfing like having the golf bag on it
So this happened a while ago, but I almost busted a lung relieving it today or reliving it today
(24:26):
I told you not to do that! I told you not to do that!
Relieving?
What were you busting again?
Butthole Vaseline and busting! Go!
Let's do it again!
So this happened a while ago, but I almost busted a lung reliving it today
I hope I'm not breaking any rules
(24:48):
When I was in university, I was a division one water polo player
This means we have tight swimsuits that are singular panel with no smaller straps than someone might hold onto
Basically completely covered from neck to panty line, front and back
These swimsuits are extremely tight and zip up in the back
We often had to do long swim sets wearing water polo suits instead of normal swimsuits or do get out drills
(25:12):
Where we would swim, pull ourselves out of the water and do some exercise on land
Burpees
I have extremely sensitive skin, so my water polo suit would chafe my skin horribly
Basically creating burns where the suit rubbed against my skin
I would get burns from swimming long distance and it zipped, unzip it, and get burns in a V pattern where the zipper sat
Water polo suits also ride up like a wedgie giving me chafed burns in my butt crack
(25:38):
My doctor recommended that I try applying Vaseline to reduce the friction
Which I did basically every day, therefore I had a quart 2 pint size tub of Vaseline
When I was moving out of my apartment, my parents came to help me out
(26:00):
I was packing up my stuff when I turn around and see my mom holding the tub of Vaseline rubbing her lips together
How you do when you apply chafstick
She's like a dog
She just sees a giant tub of Vaseline and is like, oh yes, you
I do that all the time
(26:22):
But not your daughters, you're like moving there and you're just like, oh my gosh
The look on my face must have been utter shock and horror
She goes, what?
And I burst out laughing
I tell her that's my water polo Vaseline that I rub all over my body
It's not for lips
I didn't mention exactly what unmentionables I'd applied it to
(26:46):
I'm not an animal, it's not like I was double dipping, but these burns were crazy painful
And I can't be totally sure I didn't say screw it some days and double dip
Double dip
Yeah
One dip isn't enough
Enough for a bowl
A little bit more
(27:10):
Okay, you are right, I did double dip, but I tried not to
Oh, it's true, it's okay
I'm gonna jump into a lot of heavily chlorinated water about 30 seconds later, so I figured sanitation wise it was whatever
Real water sport athletes pee in the pool constantly, sorry, but it's true
(27:32):
I don't know why that happens
I'm not even an athlete, I'm not a dootere
Today while visiting for Christmas, my mom offered me some Vaseline for my lips
From a normal size container that lives in her medicine cabinet
And I said, you don't use this one for your butthole, right?
And she said, I never told her exactly what I used it for, but it's been almost 10 years and she's fine, so whatever
(27:54):
Anyway, I think we both have more core memories of each other's faces on that day, her innocently rubbing her lips together and me wide-eyed in panic
That's so good
Do you guys want to hear a funny comment?
Yeah, I'd love to
Okay, reminds me of the time my granny put some kind of tingling lube on her lips thinking it was chapstick lol
(28:16):
My cousin got it as like a novelty gift and left it somewhere random
Granny asked if she could use the chapstick
Cousin said, sure, from the living room
Next thing we know, my grandma was walking in the room, popping her lips saying they feel funny and asking what kind of chapstick it was
Holding it up in front of the whole family, my cousin got a lesson in putting shit like that in the drawer from that day on lol
(28:38):
It was like a lube
My sister, grandma used to not have, she didn't have teeth like the last few years of her life
She would suck the salt off the pretzels and then put them back
And then Carly comes around and is like, hmmm pretzels and she's like, these are so bland
They're kind of soft and then she realizes, these are grandma's pretzels
(28:59):
Sucked on pretzels
I would throw up
I would literally die
She was old, like this was like right before grandma died
I'm not agreeing, I'm right off
Grandma, I didn't see her laughing years and she was laughing her head off
Well then, thank you Carly for that
Thank you Carly for sucking on grandma's sucked on pretzels
(29:21):
I went up for a dance in Sholo before I lived there
And I forgot to brush my teeth before I drove up there
So before my date for the school homecoming
I was like, oh my gosh, I need to brush my teeth
So I was like, Chase, I need to use your bathroom
So I went peed and I was like, oh my gosh, Chase's toothbrush
So I used Chase's toothbrush to brush my teeth
(29:45):
And then I never told them
So like a year later when I'm living with him, I'm like, hey bro, like I want to tell you something
I had to tell you this, a year ago I used your toothbrush
And he still was using it till that day
It's not that bad
That's nasty
Chase was a Paul
(30:07):
Chase was for reeking out
Okay, but that's like your family, you guys are germaphones
I wouldn't care, I'd be like, cool, you can use that toothbrush, whatever you want
I just wash it off
I agree
That's your family though
This is so funny
I think people wash their chicken with dish soap
(30:29):
But Dawn, like to wash their chicken
Who does that?
People wash ducks
People wash their chicken with soap?
Yes, like scrubbed it
I thought that was just scrubbing
I don't know if that was, yeah
I thought that was on like the father of the bride
Didn't they do that on that one?
Oh did they? I don't know
It was a movie though
(30:51):
So this is from Am I the Asshole
And it's Am I the Asshole for telling my mother-in-law not to place her own gift tags on Christmas presents I ordered for my children
So basically I ordered all my children's Christmas presents online to be sent to my in-laws home
As we were spending Christmas there this year
My mother-in-law said that she didn't mind wrapping them all up before we got there
We arrived here yesterday and all was well
After the kids got settled in their room
(31:13):
I got a chance to ask her about the presents
She told me that she mostly all wrapped with just a couple she needed to finish off
They were stored in the basement
I did ask if she needed a hand finishing the rest off
But she just insisted that she would finish the rest after our journey
So I rejoined my husband in the sitting room
A couple hours later she had gone to take a nap
So I went down to their basement to see how many had been wrapped
(31:35):
Like she had said there were some still left to wrap
But as I was checking some of the bigger presents
I noticed that they already had gift tags taped to them
And when I flipped the tags they read from Grandma
Not just one but all of the bigger ones
So I immediately went and told my husband about what I just found
And he said that his mom had asked if she could put a few of her tags on
(31:58):
As she didn't want to disappoint her grandson
My husband agreed that she could
And told me that it isn't a big deal
And that it's the only time we'll be spending Christmas over it there
As we live four hours away
I'm mad that most of the bigger presents are things that I had pre-ordered for a long time
And put a lot of thought into
And have some toys personalized with their name
(32:20):
Which costed a lot of money
Anyways, my mother-in-law came back downstairs from her nap
So I basically told her that I don't think it's right
For her to just do without asking me also
She got super upset and told me that I am being selfish
And tried to guilt-trip me saying that this could be one of the last Christmas's she will ever have
She's old but not that old
She's 71
(32:41):
She told me that I'm ruining Christmas already
I don't know, I'm trying my best to appear as nothing is wrong around my kids
I do feel bad and that I maybe have overreacted
I don't know what to do, should I leave her tags on and apologize
Or put my own tags on and tell her she should have bought more
This is turning into a nightmare
You're a grandma, you buy your grandkids like with our mom
(33:04):
You'll never have to worry about that
As the mom, would you be upset?
Yeah, 100%
I'd be like, oh no, I got my kids this, I'm gonna put my name on there
I'd be pissed as the dad
I'd be so mad at my husband, why did you think that was okay?
But also I would feel like less than learned
Don't send the gifts, I'm gonna have to do it myself and wrap them and talk to myself
Well, they're coming from out of state
(33:26):
And they don't travel with the big gifts
This is four hours
Yeah, I think that's really not that bad
But then they got to take two cars
But they were going to their parents, they were guests
It wasn't like the parents' childhood, they were home and right
We couldn't get presents here
Right
It was the other way around
Yeah, so grandma should have gotten her own freaking gifts
Go to the dollar store, grandma
(33:47):
I went the other day and there wasn't good stuff
I was disappointed
And they jacked the prices up
It's like the $2 store
It's like, Joe, you're getting dollar store gifts
Oh yeah, dope, I trust me, I know
And they freaking, I'll have like a $5 section
And of course that's the section my kid wants to go
Like why am I at Dollar Tree?
(34:08):
You're at the $5 tree
Hey, may I?
What?
May I contribute?
Absolutely
So there's an easy solution here
Obviously you wouldn't have known beforehand
But I just was putting myself in this scenario
Grandma's poor, she can't afford the gifts for the kids
Like you get out in front of it and say
(34:30):
Grandma, I'm going to send you a $200 Visa gift card
Go crazy, like buy gifts for our kids
They're from you
But go put in the work
You don't get to just take the cool stuff we bought our kids
And save it from grandma's poor
Yeah, that's what it said
Where's the grandpa?
Oh, it did say grandma's poor?
What did it say?
(34:51):
It said that she...
It didn't necessarily say that
She just said that his mom had asked if she could put a few of her tags on
As she didn't want to disappoint her grandsons
My husband agreed that she couldn't tell me that it was a big deal
If the husband already knew, he should have been like, heads up
I would have given you presents
Take the little ones
So then I would have prepared like, here grandma
(35:12):
And for her?
I bought that for you
I know, and you can't do that without asking first
Like I'm just going to put my name on this tag
Well, she did ask the son, the son's just dumb
Oh, and the son being tossed and alive
Yeah, that makes sense
Well, the grandma's smart for asking the husband
For asking her own son
Well, duh
I would want her to pick them so it's like more meaningful
(35:34):
And like you want to give them gifts
Like get out there and pick them yourself
You're not just like taking them
You're not just inheriting them
Like that's like lazy and like pity party
No, I'm not here for the pity party
Here's a hotter box, go get a couple gifts
Exactly
We don't even know if she's poor
But I mean like
Yeah, and if you're just assuming that's probably what she's like
What if it's two last minutes?
Like isn't this on Christmas Eve?
(35:56):
This is all hot
Sounds like it
How's she gonna have time to go get it on the go?
Well then grandma needs to stop doing what I do
And wait till Christmas Eve
Exactly
Christmas is the same day every year
Grandma
You gotta just get ahead of this thing
No, it's coming
Grandma
Save yourself security, grandma
I'm freaking out to get some presents
You're 28,000 a year
You can't spend 200, come on
(36:20):
Oh poor grandma
She just wants to feel special
She doesn't want to feel special
But like I bought those and I want to be special
Especially cause like the mom put in the work
She said it was like personalized
And she had some special gifts in there
I would definitely, yeah customize
I would definitely want that to be like
This is for mommy or daddy
(36:41):
Or Santa Claus
Or Santa
Yeah that's the thing
What about him?
What about Santa?
Would you rather give the grandma or some magical
Man on the list?
No
Oh my good presents came from my parents
My stalking
Really good presents from parents
No way
My moral from Santa
What an episode
What?
Grandma's stealing the gifts
(37:02):
Yeah grandma's stealing the gifts
He was Vaseline in her butt cheeks
On her lip cheeks
You were
Whitney's was the period booby horse
And Jo's was the
What was Jo's?
What was Jo's?
Santa caught on the roof
Oh yeah
Preston
Vanchise
(37:23):
Preston, yes
What are you guys saying?
Preston what the heck?
I think Jo's is fake
Jo's is fake
I even think it's Jo
Or I think Isaiah
Because Isaiah's was so freakin funny
I can't see that happening
I think it could be Whitney
Thanks guys for hanging out
Watching, listening, love ya
Hello to you
Hey internet friends, you're on 3
1, 2, 3
(37:45):
I love you
Love you guys
See you next week
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!