February 4, 2025 • 40 mins
Valentine’s Day.. the one day a year when love is supposed to be in the air. but for some, it's pure chaos. In this episode of Internet Friendsy, we’re diving into the wildest, most disastrous Valentine's Day stories the internet has to offer. From grand romantic gestures gone horribly wrong to dates that ended in ways no one saw coming, these stories prove that sometimes, love just doesn’t stand a chance. And, of course, one of them is completely made up..can you guess which one? Tune in and prepare to laugh, cringe, and feel a little better about your own Valentines mishaps!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome back. Holy smokes
(00:04):
Me too
Been a minute
That's been a minute. I say that a lot, but this time feels like it's actually been a minute
We've taken a week off. No one knows. No one knows no one will know well, you'll know now
Peak behind the curtain sleep. No, but last last episode was fun
But I think we just got a little just got a little hungover from having the arms on yeah
(00:26):
Yeah, that's true. No, well in Dallas. We had a good old time with them. I'm still scarred by my story. I'm not gonna lie
I don't think I'll ever forget it and I'm
It's over right merrim it'll forever haunt me. Do you mean to remind you? Yeah one word vibrator?
Yeah, yeah, that was that was that was why like I think that's gonna be the story I'm known for for the rest of my career
(00:52):
The rest of it. Yeah, you peeked there. Oh, no
Peak like a little valley is more like a climax. Oh, hey, I'm so sorry
So that's the same as a peak
Yeah, I was trying to give you the the word valley like
(01:16):
Guys
That's story. I yeah, that was grotes. I can't but we all know mine was not the fake because
I'm telling you right now. It was not the fake
Who do we think was the fake of last week?
So Noel voted Marley as the fake and Dallas our guest voted Isaiah as the fake and we will say that one of them
(01:41):
was right
Boys rule it was the dude. He was right there
We did it again the boys
Stupid boys when it's anything
You just gonna do sign language
trying to be garlic
Didn't say anything
(02:04):
Let's go
How did Phil to get called out though? What I thought you were gonna scoop by with no one guessing you
Mm-hmm. I don't know. I think it was because he just I think it's because he saw my phone. Oh
You think I'm out you're calling him out
Yeah, Dallas listening Isaiah thinks you cheated you're exposed. I don't think you cheated but I think you knew I wasn't on reddit
(02:30):
I think that's what it was
Maybe
Maybe he's just a really good guy looking at my phone
Yeah, but all of you guys were like like but everyone else just kind of just chill with it
Yeah, I would have overreacted you wouldn't they would have both no, yeah, you're right. You know, but also I think he just called you
I think he guessed it right. Let's give him a little credit. I'll give him credit. He did it. He did it
(02:53):
He did whether you saw it or not a good job Dallas. I'm proud of it and we're excited. We need to have them back on
You know that was a vibe. It was really fun. Well, I'm looking forward to this week's let's go
It's Valentine's Day's around the corner. Oh
Yes, if you guys have plans absolutely
(03:13):
So Joe and I honestly, okay, if there is any couple to talk about Valentine's Day with it's me and Joe
We go all out. Are you stressed right now? Yeah, Dave?
My dog. I'm so sorry my dog
The only the hell comes to it
I'm getting ready to kill someone. I'm so sorry my dog just scared the crap out of me. Okay, anyway
(03:37):
That little 30 pound killer back there did something crazy. Yeah, that was terrifying
Okay, if anyone you need to talk to about Valentine's Day
It's Joe and I so every year you guys should do this if you want you don't have to be us
But you probably should want to be for this not for everything
Anyway, I'll tell you something after go ahead. Okay. Yeah. Yeah every year we take turns being in charge of Valentine's Day
(03:57):
So this year it's my year and Joe and I go all out like we really try and make it special and
For the first like few years we would like take work off for Valentine's Day
Like we spent like the whole day the whole day we would do things like oh my gosh the Valentine's Day is that Joe
Has planned for me. There was one that I will never forget
(04:18):
It was absolutely
Amazing we woke up
We went out into the mountains we climbed up onto this like hole in the rock in Phoenix
So romantic first sunrise watch sunrise. He had a picnic. There was a blanket
He had a yogurt yogurt like yogurt parfait
(04:38):
And then he brought his laptop and he created a video for me slideshow saying all the reasons why he loved me
I'm not kidding you guys this man is so romantic then we're not done. That was literally just the morning
The a am yeah take notes literally then we went to
I'm waiting to see if she even remembers at all. We went he surprised me
(05:03):
He blindfolded me and we went to an ice skating rink and we went ice skating
Then he blindfolded me and we went to the movies
Saw a rom-com. It was bad. It was really bad
But we saw a lot of fun then he blindfolded me and then we went and got massages
Couple massage. It was the best couple massage. I've ever had my life central oils massage an hour and a half. It was
(05:27):
Unbelievable then we're all oiled up and feeling Lucy goosey. Guess what we did next
No
No, I
Tricked yeah, no then we went home and I got ready for the day
We looked super cute and then all of a sudden I get out of the bathroom and Jobs know where to be found
(05:50):
He's gone and I see notes and he took me on a scavenger hunt where I had to go find him
So I'm going to different places
Literally like our mailbox are like all over the place getting all these different notes and then I find him at a park
And he is dressed up in a suit and tie with a rose in his hand you guys
(06:12):
And he read me a poem that he wrote me and I cried it was the most beautiful
It sounds so cheesy, but like when you're in love you're in love and you're feeling it, okay?
And I was crying and it was raining by the way
It was like sprinkling like the good kind of rain not like oh my gosh. I'm soaked my makeup my hair
It was like let's make out in the rain, but like it feels nice
(06:35):
so then
He reads me the poem and then guess where he takes me
Then our butts go to cheesecake factory my favorite restaurant shout out please sponsor and
We go to cheese factory then we go home. He had chocolate strawberries ready for us and then we did a little
Date like a little dainty the sexy time thing and then we went to bed
(06:58):
Did I get it you get it? You did good? Yeah?
Those are our Valentine's Day is so cute
You want to hear why first of all?
Uh
The title of this episode is romance stood no chance. Yes, so perfect place to start. It's our first Valentine's Day together
Cirque up 2016. I'm living with my brother at the time. I'm working at the golf course. We're dating
(07:24):
We were not yet engaged, but we were talking about marriage and
She for Valentine's Day. She decided she was gonna heart attack my house
My my brother's house. She has no doubt what heart attacking is. Yeah, like the spoons and the things and all of it
I'm working at the golf course at the time, right? So I'm waking up early
On the days that I go in it's whatever so she spends an
(07:48):
Unbelievable amount of time writing all the things she loves about me. She puts them all over my car
She does like the saran wrap thing on the car photos on individual hearts and like literally like
It's so long. It wasn't just like cutting out hearts and putting them out there. It was like each heart was individualized
Beautiful cute and this is Valentine's morning. It was a Sunday. I remember vividly kissed his car everywhere
(08:10):
Red lipstick on his uh windows and she started so early. She started at what time?
Probably like 435. Oh no earlier than that. I bet. Oh probably. I don't because you were you were calling me at like 550
Oh
So
I like this is what happened. She did all this work and then she's just she's just sitting in her car
(08:32):
And she's just waiting. She's like she's so excited
Like for me to wake up for me to see it. So she
Like calls me and calls me and somehow she gets me to wake up
and
I'm no I'm just like
What time is it like she's
Okay
And like so I'm like not coherent not all there, but she's super stoked. So she like
(08:56):
Tries to get me to go outside. I don't know what's going on and then she finally like
She gets me to go out there and we're going through all of it and I'm like it's amazing
I'm I'm loving it. There's so many things that I get to read. It was very thoughtful. It's so sweet
And we go back inside and it's like 620
And I'm like yawning and just like I'm just like tired, but like like
(09:18):
Happy to be with her
And she asks me the question. She's like should I just like let you sleep?
Did you say yes? I said yes
Oh
I literally
No, I was so excited. This was my first like real boyfriend during Valentine's Day
(09:40):
It was it was cute and like looking back
I feel like the biggest dickhead of all time and I like
I'm like we'll never live it down and so that's why like everything that's come after that
I feel like I'm the rest of my life
I'll be making up for this because she just like sad puppy like instantly just like eyes just welled up. She just was like
And like boom darts that darts out the door. I was like, I'm sorry and I just left
(10:04):
And I was just like we didn't see it to the rest of the Valentine's Day until that night
He convinced me to come
And I was pissed the whole time. It was terrible. It was the worst Valentine's Day ever
It was so bad. Yeah, but I felt like the biggest jerk of all time dude
It was freaking you made me you've made it up. Well that yeah that one Valentine's Day that alone made up for it
(10:26):
Yeah, and I've never felt worse about anything in my life. So
Yeah, he's that literally I used to get emo thinking about it
Yeah, you did
Do you think you could still know if you really thought about it? Well, yeah, for sure if I wasn't mad at you
Yeah, that's true
Joe and I are in a little fighting but we're really excited for Valentine's Day
It's gonna be lit to your turn. Yeah, he's like count so glad I don't have to do it
(10:48):
Oh, yeah, I don't did we say that on the podcast that Joe and I we take turns every year being in charge. Okay
Yeah, so it's my your dang it and we've like we've watered it down
So like we don't take work off anymore. We're like just doing the normal thing now
At least for now if we're like rolling in the dough we for sure will take it off again because it's so fun
It is fun. Yeah, but I mean we haven't been rolling in the dough since a long time ago. So I know
(11:14):
Times are tough man. Life's hard. But hey internet frenzy pop off
Sponsor us cheesecake factory. We'll go to belt. We'll do our podcast there for Valentine's Day for it
We'll be able to hear one word we say so loud there
And it's dark. Yeah, just ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping
It's like literally a freaking
(11:37):
battlefield in there
Well, you know, what's crazy is this will be mine and Isaiah's first
valentines in like three years like together like spending it actually together. That's fun. Do you guys have plans?
We're going to Utah for a wedding. Oh heck yeah
Yeah, so we'll be there only word of advice I have for you guys and anyone else all our listeners out there
(11:58):
For a Valentine's Day if you are going to take your spouse or girlfriend or boyfriend out to dinner
only go places that there are reservations or
Eat at home
please
Eat at home make it make like whatever the meal is at home because it's way better to just
(12:21):
Be together. Yes, because at restaurants. It's so packed in the waiting it takes so long
It's not romantic. Then you sit on top of each other like a cheesecake. You know, they sit you like
So that's something we started doing a few years ago and we really like it
But hey, it's each their own
I also love the switching off part because it doesn't like put the load all on one person like every single time
(12:46):
I love that my favorite Valentine's Day tradition is waking up really early and going to like
Wherever fries or whatever is open to buy flowers and there are
100 dudes there doing the same exact thing
Valentine's morning. It's like all the procrastinating dudes. We're all there spending 50 bucks on a bouquet. It should cost $12
(13:08):
I don't and I tell them every year. I'm like go to Trader Joe's
You will save so much money and you can also buy me chocolate too when you're there and still pay less
Yes, always go to Trader Joe's. Yeah, but how like
How do you how do you hide it? How do you keep it a secret?
Because I'm not I can't go to Trader Joe's
Before you wake up. I mean I can but it's Trader Joe's opens at eight. Oh
(13:33):
For sure. Okay. I mean, it doesn't have to be secret. Why don't you go?
Okay, this year you go at night the night before
And then and then it's not a surprise Valentine's morning. Do you see the dilemma? Oh
Okay, okay. I get you I get you I get you
Hey girls don't have to worry about that. We don't get you flowers. Yeah, I know
You always hear the whole thing like it's sad that the first time a man gets flowers is during their funeral
(13:56):
Yes, because we don't care about flowers. So sad. Do you need flowers?
No, I want flowers. What do you want?
I want golf balls
Yeah, you have so many golf balls. Me more. Give me give me a watch band. Yeah, you like that big boy?
You like that
(14:18):
Do you like that big boy?
You want a watch band?
Give me a watch band. Oh
Okay, well, I'm excited for this episode. Thanks for letting us start out with a little Valentine's Day stories. Yeah, how's that for an intro?
It's beautiful. I'm feeling good. Let's hear the story that you found miss. Oh, okay
(14:41):
You get to go first. I guess I love that for me. Listen. Is that kind of rhyming or yeah, that's oh
It's it rhymes for sure and chat you be cheating come up with that one. That's straight Joe this brin
You love that it's in there
(15:20):
No
the worst Valentine's Day imaginable
and possibly ruining the holiday for her forever.
All right, so I20M might have just single-handedly
destroyed a girl's ability to ever celebrate
Valentine's Day again.
Like, I genuinely think I scarred her.
And before you assume anything,
no, I did not ghost her, insult her, or stand her up.
I showed up.
I tried.
(15:41):
And that was the problem.
It started with me matching with this girl.
Let's call her Emily on a dating app.
We had a couple of good conversations
and I figured why not ask her out?
Only day she was free?
Valentine's Day.
Did I take that as a warning sign?
No, I did not.
I took it as fate.
Oh, it looks so.
Red, black.
Yeah.
Now let me be clear.
(16:01):
I did not plan this date with her in mind.
I planned the perfect date for me
and I assumed she'd just be down for the ride.
When I picked her up,
she walked out in a dress and heels
and realized she was probably expecting a romantic evening
and that's not what I had planned.
I took her to my favorite spot in town
and it's like an arcade bar, comic book shop, hybrid,
that I go to with my boys a lot.
Is that like a thing or are there things out there like that?
(16:24):
Sounds like a hype place to hang out.
Wait, so what's the combo?
It's like a arcade bar, comic book shop, hybrid.
Arcade bar, comic book shop.
If this...
Arcade bar, that works.
Throw some comics in there and the nerds are in.
It's cool.
Okay, sure.
I wonder if there's anything down here like that.
(16:45):
You wanna go?
Cool.
Sounds like a good place to pick up dudes.
Yeah, we should go.
She's just testing the waters to see
if you're down for this Valentine's.
Oh yeah, that sounds like the...
Is this like something you would want me to plan for you?
Yeah, that's the hang for sure.
When we walked into the arcade,
she started to look a bit uncomfortable
so I tried to warm her up and said,
sick, right?
(17:06):
I love this place.
She kind of smiled.
We played some games and I felt like she was opening up
a little more so I continued on with my plan.
I took her to my favorite place to eat a wings joint
where they have a blazing inferno death challenge.
Who is this guy?
Who's this guy you know?
He should have taken a literal boy.
I know.
He's a Chad.
(17:28):
I ordered the spiciest wings on the menu for myself.
Didn't ask what she wanted.
Didn't even check if she liked spicy food.
I just assumed she'd watch me suffer and be into it.
She ordered a salad and then my wings arrived.
I took one bite and immediately started sweating.
My nose was running, my eyes were watering,
but instead of emitting defeat, I tried to play it cool.
(17:49):
She just sat there visibly repulsed,
like actually physically leaning away from me
as I turned into a human waterfall of sweat and regret.
That's funny.
At this point, at this point, she looked checked out,
but did I pick up on it?
No.
Instead I asked her,
ever wonder what your future kids will look like?
I feel like ours would have sick hair.
(18:10):
My gosh.
She said nothing and kept taking small bites of salad
looking around like she was looking for help.
To cap off this terrible day,
I decided to give her a gift.
Romantic, right?
No.
As we're driving home,
I had a photo of me pinned in the passenger seat visor
for my high school wrestling days.
When she pulled it down to look at herself in the mirror,
she saw my photo and said,
(18:30):
oh, I then said, here, take it as I unpinned it
and handed it to her.
I thought you might like something to remember tonight by.
Her mouth was literally open
and she burst it out laughing
and said nothing the entire car ride home.
We pulled up to her house and she quickly said thanks
and practically jumped out.
She didn't even let me walk her to the door.
So yeah, I'm pretty sure I traumatized this girl.
(18:52):
I don't think she'll ever be able to hear the words
Valentine's Day without thinking about me.
So guys, am I the asshole?
It's not giving asshole.
It's giving just dumb boy,
like there's just X on every category.
Everything he does.
Like this is thick, right?
(19:12):
This is where me and my boys go all the time.
And she's literally wearing a dress and heels.
Here's the thing though,
I'm the type that a guy's taking me on a date
to the arcade.
I'm getting down.
I'm gonna beat him in basketball every time.
And like air hockey, he beats me.
He can take that.
Look, why are you lying about one
and being truthful about another?
(19:33):
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
How'd I beat you in basketball?
That was once and I was like, my arm was sore.
I was, I broke my arm.
I was shooting lefty.
I would bet $50 right now.
That's a lot of money.
$50 that if we went to my arcade tonight
and we did it one time, the first time, I would beat him.
(19:58):
Okay, this is for the listeners.
You can get in on this wager.
We will live stream this event.
Yes.
We'll go live.
Any platform.
Deal.
$50?
$50.
Okay, it's a $50 gift card to cheesecake
or a $50 gift card to the golf store.
Deal.
Okay.
I want my shoulder.
And guys, me and Joe went on a date.
(20:18):
Many golfing and I beat him by six strokes
and he was a college golfer.
So guys, I am very athletic.
And I will destroy you.
Blind squirrel finds a nut.
This one comes from, am I the asshole?
17 days ago, go find it.
Am I the asshole for not letting my friend's husband
(20:39):
come to my Gallentine's party?
No, cause you know what a freaking Gallentine's is.
This dude's gotta go.
Oh, you guys just buckle up, okay?
Your Gallentine's parties are gonna be threatened forever
after this one.
Backstory, one of my 29 F best friends, 32 F,
(21:00):
got married last spring.
Since she got married, we do mostly group hangouts
with her husband who's 38 M,
my partner and some other friends,
which is totally fine and fun.
Now, I have a Gallentine's party every year
for my girlfriends, usually about four or five of us
and we all bring in appetizer and have wine,
play some games, et cetera.
I texted the group to let them know
and everyone responded.
My friend messaged me privately to say that
(21:21):
if her husband can't come, she can't come
and asked if he could come with her.
I normally would welcome him,
but no one else's husband or boyfriends will be there
and it just isn't that kind of party, LOL.
I told her that no one else's partners would be there
and she said that since being married,
they are a package deal and only attend things together.
(21:42):
Gag.
I told her I respected whatever arrangements
they had in their marriage
and if she wasn't able to attend, I understood.
However, a few days later, a mutual friend told me
that they talked and she said she was hurt by the fact
I wouldn't invite him and felt I was being rude.
Oh my gosh.
I do plan to talk to her about it,
but I just need some feedback from Reddit.
Uh, this is weird.
Edit, a few words.
(22:03):
Edit number two.
Because a lot of people asked,
this party is held on the 13th, not on Valentine's Day.
Edit number three.
Thanks everyone who has taken the time to respond.
I had a lot of anxiety about this.
I knew I had done the right thing in my head,
but then I second guessed myself.
Now I feel good in the boundaries I set.
But wait, there's more.
Edit number four.
Valentine's Day, a day to celebrate female friendship
(22:24):
similar to Valentine's Day,
but for friends instead of romantic partners.
It's often celebrated on February 13th,
the day before Valentine's Day.
It's for all female friendships and not just singles.
That was, this is obviously,
she's referring to stuff that's in the comments.
And then update.
My friend ended up reaching out to me.
She said that her husband is uncomfortable
(22:44):
with girls nights or events that he cannot attend.
He told her, I know what happens at girls nights.
I guess he was cheated on in his previous marriage
and he said he worries a lot.
Doesn't mean you can be the only person with a d*** this party.
That's right.
You wish.
No, that's exactly what it means.
Oh yeah?
Yeah, tell her dude.
Yeah.
(23:04):
Like.
Stick it to me.
You guys are a package deal.
Stick what?
For sure.
No.
No.
No.
When you do your stuff,
I'll, yeah, you just go do your stuff.
When I do my stuff, I do my stuff.
Yeah.
Oh, so you're normal?
You do our stuff together.
That's tight.
You guys are normal, that's tight.
But I don't think, yeah.
(23:26):
That's so weird.
Like.
That dude's crazy.
And if he's already uncomfortable as a girl,
like, you know how freaking,
like that would just change literally,
like that would make everybody else so uncomfortable
if he was there.
He's just like the one dude,
they're all talking about like their favorite toys
and all the stupid stuff that girls talk about
at girls nights.
And the dudes are just over there like.
(23:49):
Yeah, that's cool.
Like that guy is weird for even wanting to go.
Like.
Yeah.
Like to see just like the girls attention,
like that's obviously some, like I just,
I get being triggered because of,
in his past relationship,
she cheated on him during a girls night.
However, this is a completely different girl.
(24:11):
And they're girls, she says what they're doing.
They're literally at someone's house
with appetizers and playing games.
Drinking some wine.
Drinking wine, but you're not at a,
you're not going clubbing.
Yeah, no, you're not going out.
Where there'll be other people, you know, like.
It's a very different.
It could influence.
It would be different.
And I would understand if it was like a trip to Vegas.
(24:32):
Right. Yeah.
Like something weird.
I can understand being triggered,
but however, this is not that.
No.
Just like, hey girls, we're going to Vegas
for Galantines this year.
This dude's just like, I'm ready to go.
Like I will be with you.
We're going to make sure that none of you
cheat on your partners.
(24:54):
That actually killed it.
I'll be the police.
Unless it's with me.
Oh.
Right. Yeah. Maybe he just wants to bang.
Plot twist.
All right.
I mean, hey, no one's,
no guy's actually wanting to go to a Galantines
unless he likes the attention of other girls.
I would legitimately rather sit at home
and watch paint dry.
Then go to a Galantines party.
Like I cannot think of a place I'd rather not be.
(25:16):
Five girls, five of Marley's friends,
all doing a little paint night.
And you're like, I'm coming.
Not like if it's at your house,
it's at someone else's house.
It's a different thing if it thinks
it's at your house. Yeah, I know I'm not going.
I'm gonna go golf.
Exactly.
It's night.
You're gonna freaking play video games.
Yeah, you're gonna do anything but go.
(25:38):
Yeah, no, I'm not going.
Yeah.
That's like a,
And I wouldn't even ask to go.
I would ask like, oh, are other guys going?
No, it's just girls.
Okay, I was down.
Like I'm home.
You're like, oh, are other guys go,
like there's other guys that are going?
They're stupid.
Tell them to have fun.
But here's the thing too,
this guy, you don't get to stop Galantines from happening
because you're feeling a little insecure
(26:00):
from your past relationship.
Yeah. Right.
Like going to hang out at a friend's house,
doing a girls night, if you can't handle that,
like you got bigger fish to fry.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Like maybe you go to the therapy.
Am I overreacting to my boyfriend having his mom
get my Valentine's gift?
My boyfriend, 17N and me are big on sentimental gifts
(26:23):
rather than expensive gifts
since we are young and saving up for college.
Because of this, for Valentine's Day,
I got him a picture book of us,
a letter and some small gifts.
I was very surprised with what he got me
because it was bigger than any other previous gift.
However, I was slightly suspicious about the contents.
He got me a weight loss journal.
I'm a healthy weight and have never expressed any urge
(26:45):
to lose weight.
Various chocolate nuts.
He knows I hate nuts.
A candle and a stuffed animal.
These ones are normal.
I just assumed the journal and the nuts
were an honest mistake.
He also made me a very nice card
where he cut out construction paper
to make a cute arts and crafts for me,
which was my favorite gift.
When asked about the weight loss journal,
(27:05):
he claimed to not have paid attention when he bought it.
Fast forward to recently,
I was playing on his phone because mine was charging.
We have each other's passcodes and are okay
with each other being on the other's phone.
Now, I know it was probably an invasion of privacy,
but I decided to look up my name in his text
to see what he said about me to other people,
just out of curiosity.
(27:26):
That was genius.
I found a conversation with his mother
where he asked her to buy me a gift
the day before Valentine's Day.
She asked what kind of candy I like
and he didn't respond, explaining the nuts.
I also found out that she made the card I liked so much.
I completely understand if he couldn't afford
to get me anything,
but the fact that he couldn't even bother
(27:48):
to go to the store with his mom
to pick out my gifts makes me feel so insulted.
He couldn't even be bothered to make a card for me.
I thought that it was so thoughtful of him
to take the time and effort to do that for me,
but finding out it was all his mother hurt me.
I confronted him about it
and he said that he had procrastinated until February 13th
and he didn't get me anything himself.
(28:10):
He's starting early.
Even though it was a few months ago,
I still feel betrayed and saddened.
How old are they?
17.
17.
See, here's my thoughts.
He's just still too young.
I don't think he's the asshole.
I don't know that she's overreacting.
Am I overreacting?
Okay, yeah, I think she's overreacting.
(28:30):
I think that's a hard word.
I don't know if it's overreacting,
but I do think that she needs to recognize
and know that a boy will be a boy.
That seems very much on character for a 17-year-old little kid.
But she's also a 17-year-old little girl.
But girls are way more mature and responsible
and thoughtful and better than little boys.
(28:50):
I think that's a bunch of bullshit.
Boy, you were 20.
How old? And you said, yeah, I wish you let me sleep.
Huh? On Valentine's Day.
You were 17 and you woke me up at 5.30.
I was not 17.
I was 19.
Right.
And you're 20-something.
That's my point, though.
It's like you...
(29:11):
Yeah, I messed up, but so did you.
Because boys are...
But generally speaking,
girls are better at planning that out.
Yeah.
Make a case for the weight loss journal.
Let's hear it.
Yeah, this mom...
That was pretty bad.
That's like balancing.
And that was a girl.
That was a lady.
A grown woman gave a little 17-year-old girl
(29:35):
a weight loss journal.
This mother-in-law needs to teach her something better.
And it just shows how terrible she is
because she's giving her a terrible gift.
That's messed up.
That's just like...
That's just mom...
That's boy moms.
They would...
They do stuff like that because they're like...
They love their son so much
and then there's this other girl in their life.
(29:55):
Like, she probably loved that he gave her that opportunity
so that she could just sabotage.
That was...
100%.
All right.
100%.
That was bad.
The weight loss journal.
That weight loss journal is bad.
Yeah.
You don't just do that.
Like, oh my gosh, she's gonna love this.
Like, what did you think?
Oh, this is just a daily planner.
And she literally is probably...
(30:17):
And she says, she's like,
I've never struggled my way like...
Yeah.
But this girl is kind of pimp, though,
because it's not a fact.
The weight loss journal, she just said,
she was like, oh, maybe just thought it was a daily planner.
She's just banged up months later
that Valentine's Day sucked.
And that's the part where I'm like,
okay, she's obviously a little kid because get over it.
(30:38):
Yeah.
Like, I'm just saying, like, a couple months later,
and it's like, you got gifts.
Yeah, she's still struggling.
Your boyfriend is a high school kid.
Like, yeah, he's still gonna have mom help him out
with some things occasionally.
Like, the gifts and what the mother-in-law did,
that's a different story.
But like, if she's not banged up about the weight loss thing,
(31:00):
that's the only thing that bears any weight, in my opinion.
Because she made the gift, she made the card,
like whatever, you got like five things
for Valentine's Day and you're a little kid.
Do you guys wanna hear one of the comments?
Yes.
Well, bad.
Foreign cow 1189 said, weight loss journal,
bunch of question marks, the gift that all women love.
(31:24):
Facts.
Like, obviously that's a horrible gift.
That's not the mother-in-law.
I thought I was like, is this being sarcastic or serious?
Yes, something's like that.
Okay, yeah.
That would be horrible.
That's a stupid ass gift.
It doesn't matter who you are.
A dude doesn't wanna weight loss journal.
Yeah, it's like that just sucks anyways.
Especially for like a romantic holiday.
(31:46):
Yeah.
It's like, just get over it.
Is she overreacting?
It's okay to be mad, but a few months later,
it's time to like move on.
Cause like, you could have been broken up
and with a new guy and in love by now,
in high school, like you never know.
True that.
Definitely.
Okay, so this is from Relationship Advice.
And it's, my boyfriend thinks my dad's gifts are creepy.
(32:10):
Oh.
Every year for Valentine's Day,
my dad, a 59 male,
Gives slash sends me 23 female flowers
and a box of chocolate.
He has done this every year
since I've been old enough to remember.
He'd always give them to me when I was little,
when we went to college and beyond,
he was, he has them delivered to me.
It's just a tradition for us.
I think it's sweet.
I grew up in a really tight knit close family.
(32:32):
I started dating my boyfriend, Mark, 25 male,
a little over a year ago.
Last Valentine's Day,
I got the usual delivery from my dad.
Mark saw and said,
Oh, your dad sent those?
Oh, okay.
And then that was it.
Fast forward to this year last night,
Mark and I were discussing our Valentine's Day plans
for this year.
Like what restaurant we should go to.
And he had a passing comment about hoping
(32:53):
I don't get any creepy gifts in the mail this year.
I was confused and asked him what he meant.
He said, you know how you got that stuff
from your dad last year.
It's creepy for a dad to be sending his adult daughter
Valentine's Day gifts.
I was taken back because it's not like my dad
had sent me lingerie or something.
It was just flowers and some chocolate.
I tried explaining to Mark that this is a tradition
(33:16):
and I've always shared with my dad.
He stands firm that it's creepy and weird.
And he said he asked his friends
and they thought it was weird too.
I tried to let it go,
but it was, it has been bothering me.
One, I have never heard these kinds of negative comments
from Mark before.
And I'm not sure whether it's a red flag.
I have never been in a serious relationship before
(33:36):
and I'm still figuring it out.
Two, my dad's delivery comes this month.
I don't want Mark to feel uncomfortable.
Three, is it actually creepy for my dad
to be sending this stuff?
I've never found it so,
but I would like to hear other perspectives.
Thanks.
That guy sucks.
He does suck.
What's his name, Mark?
Mark.
Yeah, Mark can go freaking poop
(33:59):
and then throw it down his throat.
He wrote it.
This is the dude.
Sounds like you hate him.
Yeah, I do.
Like Mark is, Mark is a bad guy.
Cause I say it's about to be a girl dad.
So he's like,
Oh yeah, he knows.
No, that's so messed up.
That's, you can't do that.
That's like, yeah.
So this is weird
because this is the first time this has happened.
(34:21):
My brain melted when you started reading this story
cause I've come across this story before.
Oh really?
For a different episode.
And I was like the first, a minute of it,
I was thinking,
did I read this already on the podcast?
And obviously you guys didn't recognize it.
So I didn't, but I 100% have read the story.
You're not fake.
And yeah, I cannot believe.
(34:43):
I like what type of trauma does Mark have to have
to think that that's creepy?
Yeah.
Right.
Because that is so, that's so tender.
That's so sweet.
It's so sweet.
That's goals.
Like literally.
Goals.
Goals.
100%.
Like the dad is still like, this is about love.
I love my daughter.
Yes.
Here's some chocolate and flowers.
No, and that's how, like he wants the person
(35:07):
that she falls in love with to treat her the same way.
Like he's just showing her how she deserves to be treated.
Then it broke my heart to feel like she's now questioning
like, wait, is this creepy?
Like does anyone else think this is?
Like because that's such a special memory and bond
that she has with her dad.
Then it liked to think she, what if she's still with Mark?
You know, like what if they don't actually break up?
(35:29):
Wait, but my dad used to literally do this.
He would always bring flowers to school.
Like if it was on like a school day, like he would always,
we would always get called to the office
and there'd always be like a little bouquet of flowers
for each of us girls.
I know he doesn't do it anymore,
but and it always came with like, you know,
like the like little card, you know?
(35:49):
And like I have like, I'm pretty sure I have all of them.
Like somewhere in like a box somewhere,
but I just always loved it.
So I'm like, girl dads are the best.
Just saying.
So there is an update.
So they did end up breaking up.
She said, we broke up.
I've tried, I tried having a legitimate conversation
with Mark about why he found the gifts creepy.
(36:11):
He is close with his family.
They show a regular amount of affection
for close, for a close American family.
So it wasn't that he could not articulate to me
why he found it creepy.
He just kept saying it made him uneasy.
No further explanation.
This, there is only so much I can do regarding that.
So I gave up on trying to find the root of the issue.
(36:31):
He originally said he talked to his friends about it
and they all found it weird.
Yeah, he never did that.
He admitted he made it up.
Cause I'm like, if he really talked,
like they would have been like, dude, you're so dumb.
He also confessed he cheated on me with two different girls,
which took me by complete surprise.
I got tested, I got tested all is fine in that regard.
(36:52):
So yeah, I ended it.
He begged me this day and I was, and said I was the one.
I refused.
I said something along the lines of you cheated on me,
you lied to me and we have different core family values.
When he realized I wasn't coming back,
he told everyone I cheated on him.
My friends were furious on my behalf,
wanting to give me a piece of their minds,
but I told them I don't want to deal with him ever again.
(37:14):
I am so done.
I just don't care anymore.
He's blocked.
So basically I have no idea what his problem is
with the gift was, but good riddance.
And for everyone who said I had a good dad, trust me,
I know and I'm so lucky.
I'm going to visit him next month and can't wait.
Thank you all.
Oh my gosh, it's crazy.
Cause when you first started talking about the update,
I was thinking, oh my gosh,
she probably was literally projecting
(37:36):
that he's never going to be that for her.
Like the dad's way better than him.
And then you're like, he's cheating.
And I'm like, oh my gosh.
It all makes sense.
It all makes sense.
He was probably just jealous.
Yes.
He loves the relationship that she has with her dad.
Yes.
And he just probably doesn't have that.
Yeah, he probably felt bad
cause he'd probably cheated on her.
(37:56):
And then her dad is sending her something.
He's like, oh, that's weird.
But also me being a girl, I think it wasn't weird.
Yeah, I was just saying.
Why does he have any respect for you?
I don't get it.
Yeah.
Does he love you now that you're over 18?
Is that like real love or?
Just thinking how cool is it that this guy,
(38:16):
like whether she was single,
she's been dating this guy for a year,
but like he sent her the flowers and the chocolates
when she was single too.
Cause they like, they live far apart, right?
So like this was just their normal tradition.
He doesn't know if Mark's going to stick around
for the longterm.
If he's just going to go bang another girl like he did.
Like what a guy just, just holding down the fort
(38:37):
for his daughter.
And for a second there, I was so lost.
I'm like, why is the cheating?
Like, huh?
What happened here with like, oh yeah, by the way,
not only did I not figure out why he had a problem
with this, but he banged two other girls.
So we broke up.
It's like, not the update I was expecting, but.
He's the ultimate dirt bag.
(38:58):
But glad she found out so she could just fricking leave
and not feel bad about her dad being sweet.
Yeah.
I cannot wrap my head around this.
I'm just thinking, he's like, yeah, no, seriously,
your dad's a creep.
It's weird.
And I had sex with two other girls.
And I made it up that I didn't talk to my friends.
Because yeah, he's like, you know,
the truth is that I lied and I've lied about other stuff,
but your dad's still weird.
(39:19):
Like, how did this?
Yeah.
It's so weird.
I would really love to know like, his actual genuine,
like why he thought that that was weird.
So like, us going to that extent for Valentine's Day,
I used to get in trouble with the boys.
Like the homies would be like, dude.
Why are you doing this?
What are you doing, bro?
(39:40):
Really?
Like you're making us all look bad.
Two separate ones in particular.
We'll not name names.
Yeah.
But like, they're like, yeah, be like.
Cause their wives would be upset with them.
Cause they would see what Joe did for me.
Well, they're like, dude.
Level up, level up, level up.
Thank you guys for listening.
(40:00):
Tell us who you think the fake is.
Comment on socials, follow us.
We have a slightly growing podcast audience.
So we just want to let you know, we appreciate all of you.
And if you would take the few seconds that it takes
to give us a five star review,
it will help us reach more people.
We're having fun with this.
And so we appreciate the support.
(40:20):
Thanks for listening.
Let us know who you think is the fake.
It's not Marley or me.
Or me.
Or me.
So you let us know what you think.
I don't know.
And we'll see you guys next week.
Internet frenzies on three.
One, two, three.
Internet frenzies.
Welcome back. Holy smokes
(00:04):
Me too
Been a minute
That's been a minute. I say that a lot, but this time feels like it's actually been a minute
We've taken a week off. No one knows. No one knows no one will know well, you'll know now
Peak behind the curtain sleep. No, but last last episode was fun
But I think we just got a little just got a little hungover from having the arms on yeah
(00:26):
Yeah, that's true. No, well in Dallas. We had a good old time with them. I'm still scarred by my story. I'm not gonna lie
I don't think I'll ever forget it and I'm
It's over right merrim it'll forever haunt me. Do you mean to remind you? Yeah one word vibrator?
Yeah, yeah, that was that was that was why like I think that's gonna be the story I'm known for for the rest of my career
(00:52):
The rest of it. Yeah, you peeked there. Oh, no
Peak like a little valley is more like a climax. Oh, hey, I'm so sorry
So that's the same as a peak
Yeah, I was trying to give you the the word valley like
(01:16):
Guys
That's story. I yeah, that was grotes. I can't but we all know mine was not the fake because
I'm telling you right now. It was not the fake
Who do we think was the fake of last week?
So Noel voted Marley as the fake and Dallas our guest voted Isaiah as the fake and we will say that one of them
(01:41):
was right
Boys rule it was the dude. He was right there
We did it again the boys
Stupid boys when it's anything
You just gonna do sign language
trying to be garlic
Didn't say anything
(02:04):
Let's go
How did Phil to get called out though? What I thought you were gonna scoop by with no one guessing you
Mm-hmm. I don't know. I think it was because he just I think it's because he saw my phone. Oh
You think I'm out you're calling him out
Yeah, Dallas listening Isaiah thinks you cheated you're exposed. I don't think you cheated but I think you knew I wasn't on reddit
(02:30):
I think that's what it was
Maybe
Maybe he's just a really good guy looking at my phone
Yeah, but all of you guys were like like but everyone else just kind of just chill with it
Yeah, I would have overreacted you wouldn't they would have both no, yeah, you're right. You know, but also I think he just called you
I think he guessed it right. Let's give him a little credit. I'll give him credit. He did it. He did it
(02:53):
He did whether you saw it or not a good job Dallas. I'm proud of it and we're excited. We need to have them back on
You know that was a vibe. It was really fun. Well, I'm looking forward to this week's let's go
It's Valentine's Day's around the corner. Oh
Yes, if you guys have plans absolutely
(03:13):
So Joe and I honestly, okay, if there is any couple to talk about Valentine's Day with it's me and Joe
We go all out. Are you stressed right now? Yeah, Dave?
My dog. I'm so sorry my dog
The only the hell comes to it
I'm getting ready to kill someone. I'm so sorry my dog just scared the crap out of me. Okay, anyway
(03:37):
That little 30 pound killer back there did something crazy. Yeah, that was terrifying
Okay, if anyone you need to talk to about Valentine's Day
It's Joe and I so every year you guys should do this if you want you don't have to be us
But you probably should want to be for this not for everything
Anyway, I'll tell you something after go ahead. Okay. Yeah. Yeah every year we take turns being in charge of Valentine's Day
(03:57):
So this year it's my year and Joe and I go all out like we really try and make it special and
For the first like few years we would like take work off for Valentine's Day
Like we spent like the whole day the whole day we would do things like oh my gosh the Valentine's Day is that Joe
Has planned for me. There was one that I will never forget
(04:18):
It was absolutely
Amazing we woke up
We went out into the mountains we climbed up onto this like hole in the rock in Phoenix
So romantic first sunrise watch sunrise. He had a picnic. There was a blanket
He had a yogurt yogurt like yogurt parfait
(04:38):
And then he brought his laptop and he created a video for me slideshow saying all the reasons why he loved me
I'm not kidding you guys this man is so romantic then we're not done. That was literally just the morning
The a am yeah take notes literally then we went to
I'm waiting to see if she even remembers at all. We went he surprised me
(05:03):
He blindfolded me and we went to an ice skating rink and we went ice skating
Then he blindfolded me and we went to the movies
Saw a rom-com. It was bad. It was really bad
But we saw a lot of fun then he blindfolded me and then we went and got massages
Couple massage. It was the best couple massage. I've ever had my life central oils massage an hour and a half. It was
(05:27):
Unbelievable then we're all oiled up and feeling Lucy goosey. Guess what we did next
No
No, I
Tricked yeah, no then we went home and I got ready for the day
We looked super cute and then all of a sudden I get out of the bathroom and Jobs know where to be found
(05:50):
He's gone and I see notes and he took me on a scavenger hunt where I had to go find him
So I'm going to different places
Literally like our mailbox are like all over the place getting all these different notes and then I find him at a park
And he is dressed up in a suit and tie with a rose in his hand you guys
(06:12):
And he read me a poem that he wrote me and I cried it was the most beautiful
It sounds so cheesy, but like when you're in love you're in love and you're feeling it, okay?
And I was crying and it was raining by the way
It was like sprinkling like the good kind of rain not like oh my gosh. I'm soaked my makeup my hair
It was like let's make out in the rain, but like it feels nice
(06:35):
so then
He reads me the poem and then guess where he takes me
Then our butts go to cheesecake factory my favorite restaurant shout out please sponsor and
We go to cheese factory then we go home. He had chocolate strawberries ready for us and then we did a little
Date like a little dainty the sexy time thing and then we went to bed
(06:58):
Did I get it you get it? You did good? Yeah?
Those are our Valentine's Day is so cute
You want to hear why first of all?
Uh
The title of this episode is romance stood no chance. Yes, so perfect place to start. It's our first Valentine's Day together
Cirque up 2016. I'm living with my brother at the time. I'm working at the golf course. We're dating
(07:24):
We were not yet engaged, but we were talking about marriage and
She for Valentine's Day. She decided she was gonna heart attack my house
My my brother's house. She has no doubt what heart attacking is. Yeah, like the spoons and the things and all of it
I'm working at the golf course at the time, right? So I'm waking up early
On the days that I go in it's whatever so she spends an
(07:48):
Unbelievable amount of time writing all the things she loves about me. She puts them all over my car
She does like the saran wrap thing on the car photos on individual hearts and like literally like
It's so long. It wasn't just like cutting out hearts and putting them out there. It was like each heart was individualized
Beautiful cute and this is Valentine's morning. It was a Sunday. I remember vividly kissed his car everywhere
(08:10):
Red lipstick on his uh windows and she started so early. She started at what time?
Probably like 435. Oh no earlier than that. I bet. Oh probably. I don't because you were you were calling me at like 550
Oh
So
I like this is what happened. She did all this work and then she's just she's just sitting in her car
(08:32):
And she's just waiting. She's like she's so excited
Like for me to wake up for me to see it. So she
Like calls me and calls me and somehow she gets me to wake up
and
I'm no I'm just like
What time is it like she's
Okay
And like so I'm like not coherent not all there, but she's super stoked. So she like
(08:56):
Tries to get me to go outside. I don't know what's going on and then she finally like
She gets me to go out there and we're going through all of it and I'm like it's amazing
I'm I'm loving it. There's so many things that I get to read. It was very thoughtful. It's so sweet
And we go back inside and it's like 620
And I'm like yawning and just like I'm just like tired, but like like
(09:18):
Happy to be with her
And she asks me the question. She's like should I just like let you sleep?
Did you say yes? I said yes
Oh
I literally
No, I was so excited. This was my first like real boyfriend during Valentine's Day
(09:40):
It was it was cute and like looking back
I feel like the biggest dickhead of all time and I like
I'm like we'll never live it down and so that's why like everything that's come after that
I feel like I'm the rest of my life
I'll be making up for this because she just like sad puppy like instantly just like eyes just welled up. She just was like
And like boom darts that darts out the door. I was like, I'm sorry and I just left
(10:04):
And I was just like we didn't see it to the rest of the Valentine's Day until that night
He convinced me to come
And I was pissed the whole time. It was terrible. It was the worst Valentine's Day ever
It was so bad. Yeah, but I felt like the biggest jerk of all time dude
It was freaking you made me you've made it up. Well that yeah that one Valentine's Day that alone made up for it
(10:26):
Yeah, and I've never felt worse about anything in my life. So
Yeah, he's that literally I used to get emo thinking about it
Yeah, you did
Do you think you could still know if you really thought about it? Well, yeah, for sure if I wasn't mad at you
Yeah, that's true
Joe and I are in a little fighting but we're really excited for Valentine's Day
It's gonna be lit to your turn. Yeah, he's like count so glad I don't have to do it
(10:48):
Oh, yeah, I don't did we say that on the podcast that Joe and I we take turns every year being in charge. Okay
Yeah, so it's my your dang it and we've like we've watered it down
So like we don't take work off anymore. We're like just doing the normal thing now
At least for now if we're like rolling in the dough we for sure will take it off again because it's so fun
It is fun. Yeah, but I mean we haven't been rolling in the dough since a long time ago. So I know
(11:14):
Times are tough man. Life's hard. But hey internet frenzy pop off
Sponsor us cheesecake factory. We'll go to belt. We'll do our podcast there for Valentine's Day for it
We'll be able to hear one word we say so loud there
And it's dark. Yeah, just ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping
It's like literally a freaking
(11:37):
battlefield in there
Well, you know, what's crazy is this will be mine and Isaiah's first
valentines in like three years like together like spending it actually together. That's fun. Do you guys have plans?
We're going to Utah for a wedding. Oh heck yeah
Yeah, so we'll be there only word of advice I have for you guys and anyone else all our listeners out there
(11:58):
For a Valentine's Day if you are going to take your spouse or girlfriend or boyfriend out to dinner
only go places that there are reservations or
Eat at home
please
Eat at home make it make like whatever the meal is at home because it's way better to just
(12:21):
Be together. Yes, because at restaurants. It's so packed in the waiting it takes so long
It's not romantic. Then you sit on top of each other like a cheesecake. You know, they sit you like
So that's something we started doing a few years ago and we really like it
But hey, it's each their own
I also love the switching off part because it doesn't like put the load all on one person like every single time
(12:46):
I love that my favorite Valentine's Day tradition is waking up really early and going to like
Wherever fries or whatever is open to buy flowers and there are
100 dudes there doing the same exact thing
Valentine's morning. It's like all the procrastinating dudes. We're all there spending 50 bucks on a bouquet. It should cost $12
(13:08):
I don't and I tell them every year. I'm like go to Trader Joe's
You will save so much money and you can also buy me chocolate too when you're there and still pay less
Yes, always go to Trader Joe's. Yeah, but how like
How do you how do you hide it? How do you keep it a secret?
Because I'm not I can't go to Trader Joe's
Before you wake up. I mean I can but it's Trader Joe's opens at eight. Oh
(13:33):
For sure. Okay. I mean, it doesn't have to be secret. Why don't you go?
Okay, this year you go at night the night before
And then and then it's not a surprise Valentine's morning. Do you see the dilemma? Oh
Okay, okay. I get you I get you I get you
Hey girls don't have to worry about that. We don't get you flowers. Yeah, I know
You always hear the whole thing like it's sad that the first time a man gets flowers is during their funeral
(13:56):
Yes, because we don't care about flowers. So sad. Do you need flowers?
No, I want flowers. What do you want?
I want golf balls
Yeah, you have so many golf balls. Me more. Give me give me a watch band. Yeah, you like that big boy?
You like that
(14:18):
Do you like that big boy?
You want a watch band?
Give me a watch band. Oh
Okay, well, I'm excited for this episode. Thanks for letting us start out with a little Valentine's Day stories. Yeah, how's that for an intro?
It's beautiful. I'm feeling good. Let's hear the story that you found miss. Oh, okay
(14:41):
You get to go first. I guess I love that for me. Listen. Is that kind of rhyming or yeah, that's oh
It's it rhymes for sure and chat you be cheating come up with that one. That's straight Joe this brin
You love that it's in there
(15:20):
No
the worst Valentine's Day imaginable
and possibly ruining the holiday for her forever.
All right, so I20M might have just single-handedly
destroyed a girl's ability to ever celebrate
Valentine's Day again.
Like, I genuinely think I scarred her.
And before you assume anything,
no, I did not ghost her, insult her, or stand her up.
I showed up.
I tried.
(15:41):
And that was the problem.
It started with me matching with this girl.
Let's call her Emily on a dating app.
We had a couple of good conversations
and I figured why not ask her out?
Only day she was free?
Valentine's Day.
Did I take that as a warning sign?
No, I did not.
I took it as fate.
Oh, it looks so.
Red, black.
Yeah.
Now let me be clear.
(16:01):
I did not plan this date with her in mind.
I planned the perfect date for me
and I assumed she'd just be down for the ride.
When I picked her up,
she walked out in a dress and heels
and realized she was probably expecting a romantic evening
and that's not what I had planned.
I took her to my favorite spot in town
and it's like an arcade bar, comic book shop, hybrid,
that I go to with my boys a lot.
Is that like a thing or are there things out there like that?
(16:24):
Sounds like a hype place to hang out.
Wait, so what's the combo?
It's like a arcade bar, comic book shop, hybrid.
Arcade bar, comic book shop.
If this...
Arcade bar, that works.
Throw some comics in there and the nerds are in.
It's cool.
Okay, sure.
I wonder if there's anything down here like that.
(16:45):
You wanna go?
Cool.
Sounds like a good place to pick up dudes.
Yeah, we should go.
She's just testing the waters to see
if you're down for this Valentine's.
Oh yeah, that sounds like the...
Is this like something you would want me to plan for you?
Yeah, that's the hang for sure.
When we walked into the arcade,
she started to look a bit uncomfortable
so I tried to warm her up and said,
sick, right?
(17:06):
I love this place.
She kind of smiled.
We played some games and I felt like she was opening up
a little more so I continued on with my plan.
I took her to my favorite place to eat a wings joint
where they have a blazing inferno death challenge.
Who is this guy?
Who's this guy you know?
He should have taken a literal boy.
I know.
He's a Chad.
(17:28):
I ordered the spiciest wings on the menu for myself.
Didn't ask what she wanted.
Didn't even check if she liked spicy food.
I just assumed she'd watch me suffer and be into it.
She ordered a salad and then my wings arrived.
I took one bite and immediately started sweating.
My nose was running, my eyes were watering,
but instead of emitting defeat, I tried to play it cool.
(17:49):
She just sat there visibly repulsed,
like actually physically leaning away from me
as I turned into a human waterfall of sweat and regret.
That's funny.
At this point, at this point, she looked checked out,
but did I pick up on it?
No.
Instead I asked her,
ever wonder what your future kids will look like?
I feel like ours would have sick hair.
(18:10):
My gosh.
She said nothing and kept taking small bites of salad
looking around like she was looking for help.
To cap off this terrible day,
I decided to give her a gift.
Romantic, right?
No.
As we're driving home,
I had a photo of me pinned in the passenger seat visor
for my high school wrestling days.
When she pulled it down to look at herself in the mirror,
she saw my photo and said,
(18:30):
oh, I then said, here, take it as I unpinned it
and handed it to her.
I thought you might like something to remember tonight by.
Her mouth was literally open
and she burst it out laughing
and said nothing the entire car ride home.
We pulled up to her house and she quickly said thanks
and practically jumped out.
She didn't even let me walk her to the door.
So yeah, I'm pretty sure I traumatized this girl.
(18:52):
I don't think she'll ever be able to hear the words
Valentine's Day without thinking about me.
So guys, am I the asshole?
It's not giving asshole.
It's giving just dumb boy,
like there's just X on every category.
Everything he does.
Like this is thick, right?
(19:12):
This is where me and my boys go all the time.
And she's literally wearing a dress and heels.
Here's the thing though,
I'm the type that a guy's taking me on a date
to the arcade.
I'm getting down.
I'm gonna beat him in basketball every time.
And like air hockey, he beats me.
He can take that.
Look, why are you lying about one
and being truthful about another?
(19:33):
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
How'd I beat you in basketball?
That was once and I was like, my arm was sore.
I was, I broke my arm.
I was shooting lefty.
I would bet $50 right now.
That's a lot of money.
$50 that if we went to my arcade tonight
and we did it one time, the first time, I would beat him.
(19:58):
Okay, this is for the listeners.
You can get in on this wager.
We will live stream this event.
Yes.
We'll go live.
Any platform.
Deal.
$50?
$50.
Okay, it's a $50 gift card to cheesecake
or a $50 gift card to the golf store.
Deal.
Okay.
I want my shoulder.
And guys, me and Joe went on a date.
(20:18):
Many golfing and I beat him by six strokes
and he was a college golfer.
So guys, I am very athletic.
And I will destroy you.
Blind squirrel finds a nut.
This one comes from, am I the asshole?
17 days ago, go find it.
Am I the asshole for not letting my friend's husband
(20:39):
come to my Gallentine's party?
No, cause you know what a freaking Gallentine's is.
This dude's gotta go.
Oh, you guys just buckle up, okay?
Your Gallentine's parties are gonna be threatened forever
after this one.
Backstory, one of my 29 F best friends, 32 F,
(21:00):
got married last spring.
Since she got married, we do mostly group hangouts
with her husband who's 38 M,
my partner and some other friends,
which is totally fine and fun.
Now, I have a Gallentine's party every year
for my girlfriends, usually about four or five of us
and we all bring in appetizer and have wine,
play some games, et cetera.
I texted the group to let them know
and everyone responded.
My friend messaged me privately to say that
(21:21):
if her husband can't come, she can't come
and asked if he could come with her.
I normally would welcome him,
but no one else's husband or boyfriends will be there
and it just isn't that kind of party, LOL.
I told her that no one else's partners would be there
and she said that since being married,
they are a package deal and only attend things together.
(21:42):
Gag.
I told her I respected whatever arrangements
they had in their marriage
and if she wasn't able to attend, I understood.
However, a few days later, a mutual friend told me
that they talked and she said she was hurt by the fact
I wouldn't invite him and felt I was being rude.
Oh my gosh.
I do plan to talk to her about it,
but I just need some feedback from Reddit.
Uh, this is weird.
Edit, a few words.
(22:03):
Edit number two.
Because a lot of people asked,
this party is held on the 13th, not on Valentine's Day.
Edit number three.
Thanks everyone who has taken the time to respond.
I had a lot of anxiety about this.
I knew I had done the right thing in my head,
but then I second guessed myself.
Now I feel good in the boundaries I set.
But wait, there's more.
Edit number four.
Valentine's Day, a day to celebrate female friendship
(22:24):
similar to Valentine's Day,
but for friends instead of romantic partners.
It's often celebrated on February 13th,
the day before Valentine's Day.
It's for all female friendships and not just singles.
That was, this is obviously,
she's referring to stuff that's in the comments.
And then update.
My friend ended up reaching out to me.
She said that her husband is uncomfortable
(22:44):
with girls nights or events that he cannot attend.
He told her, I know what happens at girls nights.
I guess he was cheated on in his previous marriage
and he said he worries a lot.
Doesn't mean you can be the only person with a d*** this party.
That's right.
You wish.
No, that's exactly what it means.
Oh yeah?
Yeah, tell her dude.
Yeah.
(23:04):
Like.
Stick it to me.
You guys are a package deal.
Stick what?
For sure.
No.
No.
No.
When you do your stuff,
I'll, yeah, you just go do your stuff.
When I do my stuff, I do my stuff.
Yeah.
Oh, so you're normal?
You do our stuff together.
That's tight.
You guys are normal, that's tight.
But I don't think, yeah.
(23:26):
That's so weird.
Like.
That dude's crazy.
And if he's already uncomfortable as a girl,
like, you know how freaking,
like that would just change literally,
like that would make everybody else so uncomfortable
if he was there.
He's just like the one dude,
they're all talking about like their favorite toys
and all the stupid stuff that girls talk about
at girls nights.
And the dudes are just over there like.
(23:49):
Yeah, that's cool.
Like that guy is weird for even wanting to go.
Like.
Yeah.
Like to see just like the girls attention,
like that's obviously some, like I just,
I get being triggered because of,
in his past relationship,
she cheated on him during a girls night.
However, this is a completely different girl.
(24:11):
And they're girls, she says what they're doing.
They're literally at someone's house
with appetizers and playing games.
Drinking some wine.
Drinking wine, but you're not at a,
you're not going clubbing.
Yeah, no, you're not going out.
Where there'll be other people, you know, like.
It's a very different.
It could influence.
It would be different.
And I would understand if it was like a trip to Vegas.
(24:32):
Right. Yeah.
Like something weird.
I can understand being triggered,
but however, this is not that.
No.
Just like, hey girls, we're going to Vegas
for Galantines this year.
This dude's just like, I'm ready to go.
Like I will be with you.
We're going to make sure that none of you
cheat on your partners.
(24:54):
That actually killed it.
I'll be the police.
Unless it's with me.
Oh.
Right. Yeah. Maybe he just wants to bang.
Plot twist.
All right.
I mean, hey, no one's,
no guy's actually wanting to go to a Galantines
unless he likes the attention of other girls.
I would legitimately rather sit at home
and watch paint dry.
Then go to a Galantines party.
Like I cannot think of a place I'd rather not be.
(25:16):
Five girls, five of Marley's friends,
all doing a little paint night.
And you're like, I'm coming.
Not like if it's at your house,
it's at someone else's house.
It's a different thing if it thinks
it's at your house. Yeah, I know I'm not going.
I'm gonna go golf.
Exactly.
It's night.
You're gonna freaking play video games.
Yeah, you're gonna do anything but go.
(25:38):
Yeah, no, I'm not going.
Yeah.
That's like a,
And I wouldn't even ask to go.
I would ask like, oh, are other guys going?
No, it's just girls.
Okay, I was down.
Like I'm home.
You're like, oh, are other guys go,
like there's other guys that are going?
They're stupid.
Tell them to have fun.
But here's the thing too,
this guy, you don't get to stop Galantines from happening
because you're feeling a little insecure
(26:00):
from your past relationship.
Yeah. Right.
Like going to hang out at a friend's house,
doing a girls night, if you can't handle that,
like you got bigger fish to fry.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Like maybe you go to the therapy.
Am I overreacting to my boyfriend having his mom
get my Valentine's gift?
My boyfriend, 17N and me are big on sentimental gifts
(26:23):
rather than expensive gifts
since we are young and saving up for college.
Because of this, for Valentine's Day,
I got him a picture book of us,
a letter and some small gifts.
I was very surprised with what he got me
because it was bigger than any other previous gift.
However, I was slightly suspicious about the contents.
He got me a weight loss journal.
I'm a healthy weight and have never expressed any urge
(26:45):
to lose weight.
Various chocolate nuts.
He knows I hate nuts.
A candle and a stuffed animal.
These ones are normal.
I just assumed the journal and the nuts
were an honest mistake.
He also made me a very nice card
where he cut out construction paper
to make a cute arts and crafts for me,
which was my favorite gift.
When asked about the weight loss journal,
(27:05):
he claimed to not have paid attention when he bought it.
Fast forward to recently,
I was playing on his phone because mine was charging.
We have each other's passcodes and are okay
with each other being on the other's phone.
Now, I know it was probably an invasion of privacy,
but I decided to look up my name in his text
to see what he said about me to other people,
just out of curiosity.
(27:26):
That was genius.
I found a conversation with his mother
where he asked her to buy me a gift
the day before Valentine's Day.
She asked what kind of candy I like
and he didn't respond, explaining the nuts.
I also found out that she made the card I liked so much.
I completely understand if he couldn't afford
to get me anything,
but the fact that he couldn't even bother
(27:48):
to go to the store with his mom
to pick out my gifts makes me feel so insulted.
He couldn't even be bothered to make a card for me.
I thought that it was so thoughtful of him
to take the time and effort to do that for me,
but finding out it was all his mother hurt me.
I confronted him about it
and he said that he had procrastinated until February 13th
and he didn't get me anything himself.
(28:10):
He's starting early.
Even though it was a few months ago,
I still feel betrayed and saddened.
How old are they?
17.
17.
See, here's my thoughts.
He's just still too young.
I don't think he's the asshole.
I don't know that she's overreacting.
Am I overreacting?
Okay, yeah, I think she's overreacting.
(28:30):
I think that's a hard word.
I don't know if it's overreacting,
but I do think that she needs to recognize
and know that a boy will be a boy.
That seems very much on character for a 17-year-old little kid.
But she's also a 17-year-old little girl.
But girls are way more mature and responsible
and thoughtful and better than little boys.
(28:50):
I think that's a bunch of bullshit.
Boy, you were 20.
How old? And you said, yeah, I wish you let me sleep.
Huh? On Valentine's Day.
You were 17 and you woke me up at 5.30.
I was not 17.
I was 19.
Right.
And you're 20-something.
That's my point, though.
It's like you...
(29:11):
Yeah, I messed up, but so did you.
Because boys are...
But generally speaking,
girls are better at planning that out.
Yeah.
Make a case for the weight loss journal.
Let's hear it.
Yeah, this mom...
That was pretty bad.
That's like balancing.
And that was a girl.
That was a lady.
A grown woman gave a little 17-year-old girl
(29:35):
a weight loss journal.
This mother-in-law needs to teach her something better.
And it just shows how terrible she is
because she's giving her a terrible gift.
That's messed up.
That's just like...
That's just mom...
That's boy moms.
They would...
They do stuff like that because they're like...
They love their son so much
and then there's this other girl in their life.
(29:55):
Like, she probably loved that he gave her that opportunity
so that she could just sabotage.
That was...
100%.
All right.
100%.
That was bad.
The weight loss journal.
That weight loss journal is bad.
Yeah.
You don't just do that.
Like, oh my gosh, she's gonna love this.
Like, what did you think?
Oh, this is just a daily planner.
And she literally is probably...
(30:17):
And she says, she's like,
I've never struggled my way like...
Yeah.
But this girl is kind of pimp, though,
because it's not a fact.
The weight loss journal, she just said,
she was like, oh, maybe just thought it was a daily planner.
She's just banged up months later
that Valentine's Day sucked.
And that's the part where I'm like,
okay, she's obviously a little kid because get over it.
(30:38):
Yeah.
Like, I'm just saying, like, a couple months later,
and it's like, you got gifts.
Yeah, she's still struggling.
Your boyfriend is a high school kid.
Like, yeah, he's still gonna have mom help him out
with some things occasionally.
Like, the gifts and what the mother-in-law did,
that's a different story.
But like, if she's not banged up about the weight loss thing,
(31:00):
that's the only thing that bears any weight, in my opinion.
Because she made the gift, she made the card,
like whatever, you got like five things
for Valentine's Day and you're a little kid.
Do you guys wanna hear one of the comments?
Yes.
Well, bad.
Foreign cow 1189 said, weight loss journal,
bunch of question marks, the gift that all women love.
(31:24):
Facts.
Like, obviously that's a horrible gift.
That's not the mother-in-law.
I thought I was like, is this being sarcastic or serious?
Yes, something's like that.
Okay, yeah.
That would be horrible.
That's a stupid ass gift.
It doesn't matter who you are.
A dude doesn't wanna weight loss journal.
Yeah, it's like that just sucks anyways.
Especially for like a romantic holiday.
(31:46):
Yeah.
It's like, just get over it.
Is she overreacting?
It's okay to be mad, but a few months later,
it's time to like move on.
Cause like, you could have been broken up
and with a new guy and in love by now,
in high school, like you never know.
True that.
Definitely.
Okay, so this is from Relationship Advice.
And it's, my boyfriend thinks my dad's gifts are creepy.
(32:10):
Oh.
Every year for Valentine's Day,
my dad, a 59 male,
Gives slash sends me 23 female flowers
and a box of chocolate.
He has done this every year
since I've been old enough to remember.
He'd always give them to me when I was little,
when we went to college and beyond,
he was, he has them delivered to me.
It's just a tradition for us.
I think it's sweet.
I grew up in a really tight knit close family.
(32:32):
I started dating my boyfriend, Mark, 25 male,
a little over a year ago.
Last Valentine's Day,
I got the usual delivery from my dad.
Mark saw and said,
Oh, your dad sent those?
Oh, okay.
And then that was it.
Fast forward to this year last night,
Mark and I were discussing our Valentine's Day plans
for this year.
Like what restaurant we should go to.
And he had a passing comment about hoping
(32:53):
I don't get any creepy gifts in the mail this year.
I was confused and asked him what he meant.
He said, you know how you got that stuff
from your dad last year.
It's creepy for a dad to be sending his adult daughter
Valentine's Day gifts.
I was taken back because it's not like my dad
had sent me lingerie or something.
It was just flowers and some chocolate.
I tried explaining to Mark that this is a tradition
(33:16):
and I've always shared with my dad.
He stands firm that it's creepy and weird.
And he said he asked his friends
and they thought it was weird too.
I tried to let it go,
but it was, it has been bothering me.
One, I have never heard these kinds of negative comments
from Mark before.
And I'm not sure whether it's a red flag.
I have never been in a serious relationship before
(33:36):
and I'm still figuring it out.
Two, my dad's delivery comes this month.
I don't want Mark to feel uncomfortable.
Three, is it actually creepy for my dad
to be sending this stuff?
I've never found it so,
but I would like to hear other perspectives.
Thanks.
That guy sucks.
He does suck.
What's his name, Mark?
Mark.
Yeah, Mark can go freaking poop
(33:59):
and then throw it down his throat.
He wrote it.
This is the dude.
Sounds like you hate him.
Yeah, I do.
Like Mark is, Mark is a bad guy.
Cause I say it's about to be a girl dad.
So he's like,
Oh yeah, he knows.
No, that's so messed up.
That's, you can't do that.
That's like, yeah.
So this is weird
because this is the first time this has happened.
(34:21):
My brain melted when you started reading this story
cause I've come across this story before.
Oh really?
For a different episode.
And I was like the first, a minute of it,
I was thinking,
did I read this already on the podcast?
And obviously you guys didn't recognize it.
So I didn't, but I 100% have read the story.
You're not fake.
And yeah, I cannot believe.
(34:43):
I like what type of trauma does Mark have to have
to think that that's creepy?
Yeah.
Right.
Because that is so, that's so tender.
That's so sweet.
It's so sweet.
That's goals.
Like literally.
Goals.
Goals.
100%.
Like the dad is still like, this is about love.
I love my daughter.
Yes.
Here's some chocolate and flowers.
No, and that's how, like he wants the person
(35:07):
that she falls in love with to treat her the same way.
Like he's just showing her how she deserves to be treated.
Then it broke my heart to feel like she's now questioning
like, wait, is this creepy?
Like does anyone else think this is?
Like because that's such a special memory and bond
that she has with her dad.
Then it liked to think she, what if she's still with Mark?
You know, like what if they don't actually break up?
(35:29):
Wait, but my dad used to literally do this.
He would always bring flowers to school.
Like if it was on like a school day, like he would always,
we would always get called to the office
and there'd always be like a little bouquet of flowers
for each of us girls.
I know he doesn't do it anymore,
but and it always came with like, you know,
like the like little card, you know?
(35:49):
And like I have like, I'm pretty sure I have all of them.
Like somewhere in like a box somewhere,
but I just always loved it.
So I'm like, girl dads are the best.
Just saying.
So there is an update.
So they did end up breaking up.
She said, we broke up.
I've tried, I tried having a legitimate conversation
with Mark about why he found the gifts creepy.
(36:11):
He is close with his family.
They show a regular amount of affection
for close, for a close American family.
So it wasn't that he could not articulate to me
why he found it creepy.
He just kept saying it made him uneasy.
No further explanation.
This, there is only so much I can do regarding that.
So I gave up on trying to find the root of the issue.
(36:31):
He originally said he talked to his friends about it
and they all found it weird.
Yeah, he never did that.
He admitted he made it up.
Cause I'm like, if he really talked,
like they would have been like, dude, you're so dumb.
He also confessed he cheated on me with two different girls,
which took me by complete surprise.
I got tested, I got tested all is fine in that regard.
(36:52):
So yeah, I ended it.
He begged me this day and I was, and said I was the one.
I refused.
I said something along the lines of you cheated on me,
you lied to me and we have different core family values.
When he realized I wasn't coming back,
he told everyone I cheated on him.
My friends were furious on my behalf,
wanting to give me a piece of their minds,
but I told them I don't want to deal with him ever again.
(37:14):
I am so done.
I just don't care anymore.
He's blocked.
So basically I have no idea what his problem is
with the gift was, but good riddance.
And for everyone who said I had a good dad, trust me,
I know and I'm so lucky.
I'm going to visit him next month and can't wait.
Thank you all.
Oh my gosh, it's crazy.
Cause when you first started talking about the update,
I was thinking, oh my gosh,
she probably was literally projecting
(37:36):
that he's never going to be that for her.
Like the dad's way better than him.
And then you're like, he's cheating.
And I'm like, oh my gosh.
It all makes sense.
It all makes sense.
He was probably just jealous.
Yes.
He loves the relationship that she has with her dad.
Yes.
And he just probably doesn't have that.
Yeah, he probably felt bad
cause he'd probably cheated on her.
(37:56):
And then her dad is sending her something.
He's like, oh, that's weird.
But also me being a girl, I think it wasn't weird.
Yeah, I was just saying.
Why does he have any respect for you?
I don't get it.
Yeah.
Does he love you now that you're over 18?
Is that like real love or?
Just thinking how cool is it that this guy,
(38:16):
like whether she was single,
she's been dating this guy for a year,
but like he sent her the flowers and the chocolates
when she was single too.
Cause they like, they live far apart, right?
So like this was just their normal tradition.
He doesn't know if Mark's going to stick around
for the longterm.
If he's just going to go bang another girl like he did.
Like what a guy just, just holding down the fort
(38:37):
for his daughter.
And for a second there, I was so lost.
I'm like, why is the cheating?
Like, huh?
What happened here with like, oh yeah, by the way,
not only did I not figure out why he had a problem
with this, but he banged two other girls.
So we broke up.
It's like, not the update I was expecting, but.
He's the ultimate dirt bag.
(38:58):
But glad she found out so she could just fricking leave
and not feel bad about her dad being sweet.
Yeah.
I cannot wrap my head around this.
I'm just thinking, he's like, yeah, no, seriously,
your dad's a creep.
It's weird.
And I had sex with two other girls.
And I made it up that I didn't talk to my friends.
Because yeah, he's like, you know,
the truth is that I lied and I've lied about other stuff,
but your dad's still weird.
(39:19):
Like, how did this?
Yeah.
It's so weird.
I would really love to know like, his actual genuine,
like why he thought that that was weird.
So like, us going to that extent for Valentine's Day,
I used to get in trouble with the boys.
Like the homies would be like, dude.
Why are you doing this?
What are you doing, bro?
(39:40):
Really?
Like you're making us all look bad.
Two separate ones in particular.
We'll not name names.
Yeah.
But like, they're like, yeah, be like.
Cause their wives would be upset with them.
Cause they would see what Joe did for me.
Well, they're like, dude.
Level up, level up, level up.
Thank you guys for listening.
(40:00):
Tell us who you think the fake is.
Comment on socials, follow us.
We have a slightly growing podcast audience.
So we just want to let you know, we appreciate all of you.
And if you would take the few seconds that it takes
to give us a five star review,
it will help us reach more people.
We're having fun with this.
And so we appreciate the support.
(40:20):
Thanks for listening.
Let us know who you think is the fake.
It's not Marley or me.
Or me.
Or me.
So you let us know what you think.
I don't know.
And we'll see you guys next week.
Internet frenzies on three.
One, two, three.
Internet frenzies.
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