Toxic People, Tense Bodies: How Negativity Affects Your Nervous System

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Your nervous system has a hidden vulnerability that few people discuss: the company you keep. When you surround yourself with chronically negative people, your body's emotional radar—neuroception—picks up subtle cues that trigger a low-level threat response. Even while you're smiling and nodding, your vagus nerve (your body's internal peacekeeper) is struggling to maintain calm.

This podcast reveals the surprising connection between toxic relationships and physical symptoms that seem to appear without an obvious cause. 

Protecting your nervous system isn't just about nutrition, exercise, or breathwork—though these help. 

Your environment matters. Your energy matters. YOU matter. Subscribe now to continue learning practical ways to support your nervous system and reduce anxiety naturally.

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Episode Transcript

Emily (00:00):
Today we are going to be talking about something that
affects your nervous system waymore than you might realize.
That's the people who you spendyour time with, specifically,
how being around negative peoplecan actually mess with your
vagus nerve, your mood and youroverall mental health.
Hi and welcome to It Starts atVagus, where holistic health

(00:21):
meets modern day living throughthe eyes of a massage therapist
and that's me.
I'm Emily, and I am aneuromuscular massage therapist
that helps people every dayrelax their muscles, and I'm
here to guide you through thephilosophy of the vagus nerve.
It's the body's ultimate key tocalm, connection and overall

(00:43):
well-being.
So if you have stress, anxiety,have burnout and you just feel
stuck, you're in the right place.
But before we start, could youdo a huge favor for me and hit
that subscribe button?
It encouraged me to continue tomake time to create this
podcast.
I can't tell you how much itmeans and helps when you hit

(01:06):
that like and subscribe button.
We currently have listeners inover 130 cities and as the show
grows and gets bigger, we canexpand the podcast, bring in
guests and continue to supportyour wellness journey, because I
want this podcast to continueto be worth listening to and
help people all over the worldget stress and anxiety relief,

(01:28):
naturally.
Thank you to everyone who'salready subscribed.
I really appreciate it.
Now take a deep breath in,settle down and let's explore
how we can use our nervoussystem to support our bodies.
Today's topic is about toxicpeople.
Tense body.
Now I know that sounds a bitdramatic, especially when we

(01:50):
jump on the toxic people trend,but hear me out, the people that
we spend the most time withshape who we become, and here's
how.
First off, your brain isconstantly scanning for safety,
especially in relationships.
There's a term in psychologycalled neuroreception, and this

(02:11):
is just your body's emotionalradar.
It picks up on your facialexpressions, tone of voice,
posture and even those microexpressions to assess whether or
not someone feels safe orthreatening.
Now, when you're around someonewho's chronically negative,
maybe they're constantlycomplaining and always finding

(02:35):
that bad, even in the greatestof good Well, your nervous
system can go into that lowlevel threatening mode.
So even when you're smiling andnodding, you're doing that all
on the outside.
Your inside, your nerve systemmight be feeling like, hmm,
something's off and says, hey, Idon't feel safe around this

(02:58):
person or in this situation.
So, since your brain puts yoursafety on top priority.
Your brain wonders why you'reunsure about what's going on,
guarded mode, which then we know, starts creating stress.
Inside that emotional pressuretight muscles and it just

(03:19):
cascades down from there.
So this brings us to our vagusnerve, because the vagus nerve
is your inner peacekeeper.
It's the key to ourparasympathetic nervous system,
which is our rest and digestside of things.
It helps you feel safe,connected, calm, regulated, all

(03:43):
those things that we're lookingfor.
But here's the thing that calmconnection is fragile.
If you're spending time withsomeone who's emotionally just
draining, your vagal tone startsto decrease.
So what does that mean?
That means that your ability tobounce back from stressful
situations emotional or physicalit starts to take a hit and it

(04:08):
can't bounce back as often or asfast or as fast.
And if that's happening often,your body starts to normalize
that stress.
Your brain starts to put asnooze button on that threat
because you're not doinganything about it, you're still
staying in that spot.
So now it starts to feelfamiliar.

(04:31):
And remember, our body likes toknow what to expect.
So when it starts to feelfamiliar, it says, okay, this is
something we've done before andwe can do this again, but it
takes a toll on us.
So now you might start tonotice things like you're
irritable more often, anxietycreeps in more often, fatigue

(04:52):
lasts longer, and then you starthaving digestive issues like
heartburn or tummy troubles andyou're starting to think like
what is going on?
Because all of this is happeningwithout an obvious big stressor
.
We can't quite pinpoint it toone thing.
So just that constant drip ofemotional negativity that you've

(05:17):
been soaking in it startsplaying a toll on your physical
health.
So just having that constantthreat, it wears us down little
bit by little bit.
So if you've been around peoplewho have that negative energy
for a while whether it's a job,a relationship or a draining

(05:38):
social group your body can startgetting in that state of low
level survival.
Again, it's not something wherewe run from.
It starts saying this iscomfortable and it starts
becoming like a comfort stressand it does take a toll on your
body.
Though.
What happens to your bodyphysically?

(05:59):
You start having heightenedcortisol, that hormone during
stressful times.
That starts affecting your body.
So now you've got poor sleepand increased inflammation.
Then you start having troublefocusing and can't stay on task,
which is what we kind of talkedabout in our previous episode

(06:22):
about that brain fog and we caneven have that emotional burnout
.
So over time your baseline forhow much stress you can handle
it starts shifting and thingsthat once felt manageable, okay,
didn't really affect you, nowit suddenly feels overwhelming

(06:45):
and you just can't handle thatload.
And then you've got more burstsof anger, even because your
system just can't handle thecapacity anymore.
It's saying enough.
So this is why our nervoussystem health isn't just about
nutrition, exercise or evenbreathwork, because breathwork

(07:05):
is a great, great tool.
It's one of my favorites.
It's a great tool to help us.
But if we keep putting ourselvesin the same situations and that
familiar piece remember thevagus nerve likes familiarity,
it likes routines and if yourroutine is stress, it will start

(07:27):
seeking it out, which againstarts cascading all of our
physical and emotional, mentalwell-being.
So it's all about protectingyour energy and we all have that
battery inside us and when it'sconstantly working on that low

(07:50):
power mode, your body can't dothe high power tasks, it just
gets overwhelmed.
It's just like a computer where, if we have too many tabs open,
it starts slowing us down andour brain is more effective than
a computer, but again, when allthose things happen, it can
only do so much, your body canhandle so much stress.

(08:13):
So that is where we starttalking about boundaries.
Now, boundaries aren't selfish,they are non-negotiable.
So just like when you wash yourhands to protect yourself from
germs, you also need emotionalboundaries to protect your

(08:33):
nervous system, your vagus nerve.
So what does that look like?
Well, it means spending timewith the people that energizing
you and spend less time aroundthose people that just drain
your energy.
You start choosing when and howyou want to engage with them.
Now, sometimes we're not alwaysable to pick and choose who

(08:56):
we're around.
Some of us have people that wehave to be around, like
coworkers, even family members.
There's things like socialengagements where you can't
quite leave and sometimes youeven want to be there for the
other people around, to be therefor the other people around.

(09:23):
So this is where doing our miniresets really help after tough
interactions where we can say,hey, body, mind.
I know we just went through astressful situation and here's
how I'm going to rejuvenate you.
So it's kind of like talking toyourself, but kind of realizing
that if how you take care ofyourself really does support the
rest of your and remember youdon't owe anyone your emotional

(09:45):
bandwidth, especially when yournervous system is healing.
It's okay to protect that, andI always love the quote by Jim
Rohn that says you are theaverage of choosy.
Who I spend my extra time withbecause I know how they react

(10:09):
will also influence how I reactinternally.
So if you've been, if you havebeen feeling drained down, just
like that dysregulated feeling,take a moment to ask who is in
my space right now and how do Ifeel after I spend time with
them.

(10:29):
Because your environmentmatters, your energy matters,
you matter, and how you protectyourself is one way that you can
encourage a happy life to live.
That is one way that we can say, hey, here are the things that
I like and let's focus on thatand let's expand it.

(10:51):
So this week I'm going to beprotecting my peace by being
mindful of who gets access tospend time with me and my energy
, who gets to have the time whenI need to have those breaks and
I can say, hey, I need timejust to go color or do those

(11:14):
breathing exercises to help myvagus nerve, or have some quiet
time, grab a cup of tea on myporch All those things I know
that I like.
I can then encourage myself todo more of that.
So thank you for spending sometime with me today.
Remember to breathe and do atleast one thing that makes you
happy.

(11:35):
Thanks for listening to ItStarts at Vagus Vegas.
New episodes are released everyTuesday.
If you liked this episode, goahead and give it a subscribe
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on what's coming next.
If you'd like a step-by-stepvideo on how to do a pain-free
and easy vagus nerve exercise,grab my free Vagus vagus Nerve

(11:58):
nerve Reset reset video in theshow notes.
It's what I do when I feel likeI just not like myself.
Until next time, remember,wellness starts at .
vagus.