3 Calming Micro Actions

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Feeling like you're carrying invisible bricks all day long? When your nervous system is stuck in survival mode, even the most well-intentioned self-care practices can feel like unwelcome demands rather than relief. "You want me to do a full morning routine with juicing, exercising, and journaling? I'm still trying to survive that last group text!"

This episode cuts through the noise of overwhelming wellness advice to offer three nervous system-based micro-actions that actually work with your biology, not against it. 

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Episode Transcript

Emily Feist (00:00):
I get it.
You want to take better care ofyourself, but everything feels
heavy, like you're carryingaround invisible bricks all day
long and adding one more goodhabit to your day feels
impossible.
Today, I'm going to give younot a list of 97 self-care ideas
.
I'm going to give you threenervous system-based micro

(00:24):
actions that work with yournervous system, not against it.
Hello, hello, welcome back to itStarts at Vagus the podcast
where we stop chasing calm andstart creating it, one small
shift at a time.
I'm Emily and I'm your guide torewiring stress, restoring calm
and reclaiming your nervoussystem one small shift at a time

(00:47):
.
So if your to-do list has ato-do list, if self-care feels
like just another chore and thelast time you rested you were
still clenching your jaw in yoursleep you're in the right place
.
Today, we will be talking aboutwhy self-care feels so
overwhelming.
You know, a couple of weeks ago, in an episode called

(01:10):
Rediscovering Yourself SimpleCreative Practices for Busy
Women, we explored how tinycreative sparks can help you
feel more like you again.
Today, we are going even deeper, but more in a body-based way.
That last episode was aboutreconnecting with your joy
versus.

(01:30):
This one is going to be aboutregulating your nervous system
so you can actually have thecapacity to enjoy anything at
all.
And, honestly, these twoepisodes pair really well
together.
So why self-care feels sooverwhelming?
Here's the deal If your nervoussystem is in survival mode,
self-care won't feel soothing.

(01:50):
It will feel more like a threat.
Your brain's like you want meto do a full routine this
morning with the juicing, theexercising, the journaling.
I'm still trying to survivethat last group text.
And the truth is, self-careshouldn't feel like a
performance.
It should feel like relief toyour body.

(02:10):
The vagus nerve is your built-incalm switch.
It's the nerve that runs fromyour brain down to your gut,
your heart and your lungs.
It's called the vagus nerve,but it's basically like it's
your body's button saying it'ssafe now.
But it's basically like it'syour body's button saying it's
safe now.
When the vagus nerve isactivated, your body digests
better, sleeps deeper, thinksclearer which is always a bonus

(02:33):
and stops defaulting to panicmode when somebody says hey, can
I talk to you real quick.
So let's focus on three tinythings that can send your vagus
nerve that message saying we areokay.
Let's discuss these three microself-care habits that actually
work.
First one is breathe.
Like you mean it.

(02:53):
You're going to inhale for fourseconds and exhale for six,
simple, right.
One minute a day of longexhales can calm your heart rate
, signal safety to your body andyour nervous system and gives
your brain like a little minivacation.
When we are in the fight orflight mode, it is much harder

(03:15):
to signal to your body that it'ssafe to slow down and instead
we often take those short, fastbreaths because our brain's
saying get more oxygen now fast.
But when we are able to slowdown our breathing it gives a
signal to our body that we areokay.
Because if we're able to slowdown, to focus, to breathe, we

(03:38):
know and our brain knows thatwe're not being threatened.
So try focusing on yourbreathing before opening up your
inbox or after someone cuts youoff in traffic.
And bonus if you're focused onyour breathing, you won't be
screaming.
Second habit is create a calmcorner.
Pick a surface, just onesurface, declutter it and add

(04:03):
something cozy, like maybe alittle mini plant or a picture
or that one mug.
That makes you feel oddlyaccomplished.
Why does it work?
Your brain is constantlyscanning your environment to
determine if it's in danger orif it's safe, and a peaceful
space becomes a visual exhalefor your brain.

(04:25):
Plus, it creates a familiarenvironment that can create a
signal to your brain to calmdown, just by being in that
space.
You can actually train yourbrain to relax, just by being in
that space that you created.
Side note there is no need toclean out your entire closet
right now.
One calm corner is enough.

(04:54):
Now, let's say you can't find asmall corner in your house to
create that calm space.
Just pick a space that you cango to when life feels heavy.
For example, the bathroom isalso a popular place.
A quick comfort might be anon-toxic candle.
You can watch the candleflicker to create that calming
environment, or even softly blowit out.
Then light it again, then blowit out and just create that

(05:16):
repeat pattern, because evensoftly blowing out that candle
can gently blow away your stress.
Just think about it.
We had so much fun blowing outcandles as kids, so let's just
recreate that in a more adultway.
For me, my happy place is myporch, specifically my rocking
chair.
I have my blanket, a smalltable for my tea and the fresh

(05:40):
air, and all together it createsan instant calm for me when I
feel overwhelmed.
The last third tip is to hum ortouch your neck, fresh air, and
all together it creates aninstant calm for me when I feel
overwhelmed.
The last third tip is to hum ortouch your neck.
Now it might sound a littleweird, but it feels amazing.
Hum your favorite song, garglesome water or gently massage
behind your ears.
These activate the vagus nervethrough vibration or gentle

(06:04):
pressure.
It's giving your vagus nerve alittle massage of its own to
rest and relax.
It's fast, it's free and no onehas to know you're doing a
nervous system ninja work whileyou take your coffee break.
Listen, I know you want to feelbetter, but the idea of doing
more feels like quicksand tosome people.

(06:24):
So let's not do more, let's doless, but better.
Let's regulate your nervoussystem with these micro moments
of calm that actually shift yournervous system.
You don't need that perfectroutine.
You just need one good breath,one safe space and a little
humming tune.
And, most importantly, rememberthat it's not your fault that

(06:48):
self-care feels hard.
Life can be hard, but it isyour time to make peace with
your body.
Again.
Thank you for spending part ofyour day with me.
May your day be gentle and yourtea hot and your nervous system
steady and soothed.