May 13, 2025 • 62 mins
#kthottake: Another round of Not Your Mom's Advice Column, where we peel back the layers on society’s long-standing obsession with attaching human value to a number on a scale. Our horse today is quite high as we discuss a tale as old as time: body image as a social construct shaped by power and profit (womp womp). If you've ever been unhappy when looking in the mirror, this one's for you.
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(00:00):
Sick tits, Sick titties. Do I have to clap?
Do it 5. 678. I like the.
We get a 567. Yeah.
Hi, friends. I'm Kimberly.
I'm Tori. And you're listening to.
It's nothing. It's everything.
Every single thing. Something really fun is
happening today. Yes, people are sending us
(00:20):
questions. God, I love that already.
People are asking us questions. They're sometimes it's a voice
note, sometimes it's a message. Today we have a message, so
we're going to do. What are we calling it so?
We're going to do a little KT hot take.
Yeah, this is our hot take. I'm.
Just trying to think of some kind of fun song to be like.
I think the Nellie is on hot take.
(00:41):
Oh, that's funny because it might have my hot take where we
go. I remember this like, not that I
don't. I don't need Nelly to be my.
No, Nelly, come on, what was that?
Band-Aid, Heidi and. Nothing.
Take that band. Nothing and everything.
(01:03):
Probably it's it's full of secrets, that Band-Aid.
That tiny little Band-Aid has somany secrets.
But if also you have a question and you're like, I want to ask
them, there's no silly questions.
No silly questions, no TMI. Questions.
No, we want it all. It can literally be anything.
It can literally be anything. What's your favorite breakfast?
Yeah. You can send it to us on.
My. Because and.
(01:26):
We're we're going to consult AI for that one.
Dear chap GBT, why do dogs have noses?
Why? But we're going to be hella
funny when we but make it witty.But make it witty, Yeah.
So send us your questions. Yes, please.
You can do it on Instagram and that's.
It. That's really all you can.
We're not giving you our phone numbers.
No, no, no, no, no. If you know me personally, we're
Kimberly personally. You can, but.
(01:48):
And if you know either of us personally, send it with no
context so we're completely caught off guard.
You're it's. OK.
So our question today comes fromthe beautiful Maureen.
Am I allowed to say that? Yeah, just yeah.
It comes from Maureen. It comes from Maureen, a human
in this world, and her question is as a woman in her late 60s
(02:09):
and with admittedly good genes, I've never been a big person.
I continue to watch my peers of a similar age obsess about what
they're eating and putting on weight and becoming skinny.
There is so much out there that is wrong or misleading about how
one should eat, but over and over again I see my friends fall
prey to 1 fad diet after another.
(02:29):
I suppose the origin of this is built into our systems via media
and misleading assumptions as wewere raised, but the notion of
this continuing on our entire lives is so painful to watch.
I'm interested in your thoughts about it.
First off, Maureen, thanks for that kick ass question.
Maureen took us straight to the heart of the matter.
(02:53):
She is everything. She is everything.
She is literally period. There's nothing.
She's done everything. What a good 60s.
I mean all people though. Right.
Well, this is where I'm like, I don't even know which side of
the pool to dive into this from because I wanna.
Dive probably the deep end from.All sides, I'm gonna deep it.
And then deep. Into the shallow.
(03:14):
We're gonna get deep in it. We don't get balls deep all up
in you. All up in you.
First of all, Maureen one, thankyou 2.
I love that she specifically highlights the age that she is
because I feel like it's very easy for people who are our age
(03:34):
and younger to be talking about this, but it's so important to
highlight the fact that it's still like it never, it's never
not happening. People are never not thinking
this way because it has been so deeply ingrained in our society
that we as women have to be perfectly formed, shaped, tight,
the skin, the muscles, that everything has to look a certain
(03:57):
way in order for us to be deemedacceptable.
When with men there is no same exception or expectation rather.
But like, even if you are a bigger person, it's more
acceptable. Yeah, for a a bigger man, yeah,
than a bigger lady. Yeah, yeah.
(04:19):
And even I mean, I love that shecalled out genetics, right?
Genetics, genetics are the root,one of the primary roots of this
conversation. You cannot control your genetic
background. You came onto this into this
earth, into this life with the genetics that you have.
There's only you can't do anything about that.
(04:40):
So when we are presented with this idea that we are meant to
look a certain way, and then we are provided in in pop culture
and in modern society and in every magazine you see on a
newsstand, one specific example of the quote UN quote ideal body
type. First of all, that's fucking
(05:02):
insane. Because I don't have that
person, you know, whose geneticsI don't have.
Everybody else's. Literally anybody else's.
I do even have their own genetics.
No, none of their they're not. Real.
None of. That's real.
But like, Oh my God, who's the, what's her name?
Giselle. Giselle.
Yeah, that one. Yeah, Bunchin.
(05:24):
I don't have her genetics. I'm not going to look like.
Her you're not 5-10. I'm not 5-10 believe it or not
my legs did not finish growing so I did.
If you take the 0 off steroid screwed me there I am.
That's another podcast. #Steroid screwed me, yeah.
Sucks to my ass. Mar Yeah.
(05:46):
And there's no. But they also in the 60 or in
the 60s, Well, yes, but women intheir 60s and above, right, grew
up in the deep fads, like deep fads of like of the Kellogg's
diet and what were Weight Watchers And remember, gosh,
(06:08):
what were some of the other ones?
What's it called? Slim Slim fast.
Slim fast. Slim fast.
Yes. And this is also the Oprah
thing, right? When, like Oprah came out with
her little red wagon and everybody was watching back then
the day when, you know, they were raising babies and they
were at home. They're watching Oprah and not
(06:31):
sitcoms. What are the the dramas?
Oh. The the the melodramas.
The the daytime soap operas. Soap operas.
Got there. The soap operas where everyone
was just like, so beautiful and like, manicured.
Yeah, everything was manicured. I mean, don't fuck with my head
too. Yes.
(06:51):
And also like you look at historically the way that women
who have been deemed acceptable to be shown on screen, right?
Like you look at the way that every single woman on screen
looked and it's all the same. They all truly are malnourished
and unwell. Corsets.
(07:13):
But socially accepted, thereforethat's what gives them value as
humans. It's the most asinine.
It's the most asinine and and not to.
I mean, I feel like the plastic surgery conversation is like a
whole different conversation I don't want.
Looking like. Filters I don't want to judge
people for getting plastic surgery.
(07:33):
I it's not my decision to make. It is not my business what
anyone else chooses to make themselves look like.
But the idea that we have to go to such lengths to make
ourselves quote, UN quote, acceptable is deeply
problematic. And then genetics are only one
component of it. Then there's hormones.
(07:56):
Then there's life, lifestyle. And I don't mean lifestyle, like
do you see on the couch all dating bonbons?
I mean, like, how stressful is your life?
Yeah. How much can you actually
regulate your systems? How much sleep can you get?
How much can how much are you taking care of your body?
Do you have the opportunity to cook a home cooked meal?
(08:20):
What is your What does every dayof your life look like?
That you have the ability to support yourself to look a
certain way. Yeah.
And then everything that we lookat, especially now, everything
that we look at in pop culture is like, so specifically
curated, like you look at anybody who's on the cover of
Shape magazine. Oh, sure.
(08:41):
Not only did she starve herself to get to cover photo ready, she
starved herself. She's dehydrated herself.
Everyone that I know in fitness who's ever done a photo shoot
has intentionally you, You. That's part of the process.
You eat less and less and less. You stop drinking water and then
on the day of the photo shoot, you take shots of vodka to
(09:03):
dehydrate your body so that yourmuscles are more prominent in
the photo shoot. Feels like a nightmare.
And then you go to the hospital.That's fine.
But you got a cute photo. That.
They're probably that they're going to have to edit.
I mean that. They're going to, yeah.
There's some Instagram follow, like influencers that I follow
who are like big advocates for not editing.
(09:30):
Yeah. And have, like, have done, have
been models of some kind, fitness models, and they have
been edited and they, like, callout the photographers because
they're like, why? Yeah.
Why was I not cute enough? You hired me to begin with.
Yeah. Why are you editing?
And that's the other thing is, like, understanding that
nothing's real, right? Like the and accepting that be
(09:55):
like that if you can just, like,see it as art, right.
And not even good art, maybe. But like, not taking that on
internally, right? Of like, I have to look like
that person. Yeah, Right.
That has to be my truth. It's like, no.
And can we just throw away all scales?
I mean, I know people who are going for just a number on a
(10:15):
scale, and it's like if you got on that scale over there, it'd
be different. So like, what does it matter?
Not only that, but like what time of day have you peed yet?
Have you? Pooped yet?
Yeah, that's my favorite game. My parents have a scale so we
don't own a scale. I have not owned a scale in, I
don't even know, decades maybe My parents have a scale.
Whenever I am at home at my parents house I use the scale to
(10:36):
see how much I pee. That's literally the reason that
I do it. And my volume is almost always
close to 16 ounces which is pretty impressive but like I can
lose a pound by peeing. Like your weight It's and your
weight will fluctuate. Especially people in female
bodies with constantly fluctuating hormones.
Your weight is going to fluctuate multiple times
(10:59):
throughout the month if you are actively cycling body and
that's. Normal, it's good.
It's probably good. That's good that you have a
period still. You.
Know because those people who are starving themselves and or
you know the orthorexias of the world's which hi, my name is
Troy Sparrow and I have dealt with that in my life really.
(11:20):
Oh my gosh, yes. Where I was like weighing every
day. Yeah.
And tracking to the point that it it took up so much mental
load. I don't mind tracking like I
don't mind macro tracking. I have no problem with it.
I still do it, but not to the point where I am like 1 grain of
rice is going to make me, you know?
(11:43):
And it's a control thing for me more than anything else.
But also and, and, and not to say you can't have goals 'cause
I think that's where it gets misleading is like, well, I have
physique goals or, you know, athletic goals or whatever it
might be. You can have those without doing
the unhealthy craziness. Yeah, you know.
(12:07):
Yeah, well, and you're and, and what are your true goals, right.
If you have athletic goals like you want to push more weight,
that's not necessarily going to produce the aesthetic outcome
that you want. In order to push more weight,
you have to have more reserves, which means you have to bulk up,
which means you have to carb load, which means use like any
(12:30):
bodybuilder that you've seen that isn't like peak
performance. Peak physique performance went
through a chubby phase to be able to bulk up enough to then
have the reserves to work their muscles to the point that you
see them at. Oh, when I was eating even 1700
calories I was getting injured every time I was in the gym.
1700 calories. And doing CrossFit five days a
(12:53):
week and teaching yoga. This is not that far, far away
from right this moment. And I was getting injured so
much. And then I started.
To work with a. Professional who had gone to
school, a nutritionist who went to school and was like, yeah, if
(13:15):
you're eating, if you're that active, like for for a child,
for a for a teenager, the lowestthat they go on like the, you
know, out there in the world, like all the good words are
coming out of my mouth right now.
She like showed me this thing and it was like nothing below
1800. Yeah, right.
(13:36):
And that's for a teenager. Yeah.
I am not a teenager and that's asedentary human being, right?
And so which I am also not. And so like the second I started
to, I don't know, eat a fucking carb, my performance in the gym
went up, which is my goal. That was my goal is like my
where I had to mentally shift mybrain instead of taking up less
(13:59):
space, instead of being the smallest version of Tori, which
wasn't getting me the actual things that I wanted in life.
I wanted to be able to push likebig weights in the gym.
Yeah. Right.
You can't do that on 1800 you. Cannot do that on 1800 calories
or not even that like right And everything was I was grumpy.
(14:23):
I was like, life did not get better.
How was your brain fog? I mean, probably trash and and I
was frustrated anytime and then anytime I would go out, try to
eat with people, it was like, here's, you know, I never got to
the point of like having like myTupperware at a restaurant,
right? But there was guilt of eating
food and it's like. Nourishing your body.
(14:46):
And enjoying, enjoying time withfriends, enjoying the food,
right? Like having a burger and be like
Oh my God. Yeah.
And so I had to be really activein my reprogramming of my brain.
Which takes a lot when the message is delivered to us from
everywhere we turn, everywhere we turn.
(15:06):
Yeah. No matter what, no matter what
age you are, no matter what gym you're going to, no matter where
you grocery shop, the message isstill coming at us from
literally everywhere. Well, and if if you're, you
know, in my mom's bracket, my inthe 60s, right, If it's age 60,
you're not on like social media and or your social media is
curated to just be the fit, be small, right?
(15:30):
Like I also had to look at my social media and be like, are
those how are those accounts making me feel?
Do they make me feel less about myself?
Or are they they are they part of the reprogramming of like
bone density and muscle mass areimportant?
Yeah, right. And so if they weren't, I
stopped following them because Ilove that I couldn't.
(15:51):
But I don't think the the women in their 60s right, as Maureen
asked us was like, are a are necessarily even see it that
way, right. Yeah.
It's like, well, this worked forme when I was in my 40s.
Well, baby, you're not in your 40s anymore.
No, your body has different needs.
Your body has way different needs.
Your and you can't assume like what worked for me in my 20s
doesn't work for me now in my 20s.
(16:14):
Come on, I could stay up past midnight now forget about it.
That's like, it's like drinking a gallon of vodka if I if I stay
up too late. It's horrible.
I feel like absolute. Trash the next day and I was
like, damn it, it's. So bad.
That's, I think that's probably why I was like such a zombie
yesterday, because I went out onWednesday night for my birthday.
I went out to dinner with Kyle. Dinner was at 7:45.
(16:37):
I was like, great, I'll be in bed by 11.
I got home at 11:45 and I was yeah.
And I was like, OK, it's fine. It's fine.
It's just one night. I'm a muscle.
I, by the way, had one glass of champagne all night.
So I was not like drinking. I had a glass of champagne.
Woke up. Woke up.
Yesterday morning and I was likeI can't function what I'm
supposed to do things today. It was horrible.
(16:59):
I had to take a nap. I fell asleep on the couch at
like 9 I. Had to take a nap I.
Had to take a nap. That one glass of champagne did
it. But I think.
There's also, like, so many layers in Maureen's message,
too, because I love how much shecares about the experience of
people around her. She's like, how?
Like what? How can we help them?
And I feel the same way. I think you do too, right?
(17:21):
Like this knowledge that to takecare of your body you must fuel
it is like knowledge that is notperpetuated in our modern
culture at all. You know skinny talk is a thing.
What's that? It's literally TikTok for skinny
people. No.
Yeah, I just learned about that today on my way here when I was
(17:42):
before I was driving, but. Driving and scrolling.
Driving and scrolling I've seen people do.
That stop doing that. So angry.
Please. On the freeway.
Oh my God, Watching shows? Yeah, on.
No. Shame on you anyway.
But but yeah, I, I. Saw this thing of like beyond
skinny talk and yet again, I've curated my my Instagram that
(18:05):
it's these women who are incredibly strong and have
worked on like building muscle and bone density and stuff.
But they're like, can we talk about why that's not it?
No, it's not. It's not it, and it's going to
lead you down paths that you do not want to end in.
Like let us reframe what healthyis.
(18:26):
Yes, and also like, let us be gender specific if you live in a
female body, first of all. I mean, let me get on my soapbox
for a minute, please. It was not required.
It's your podcast. It's my I'm going to get on my
own goddamn soapbox on my own goddamn podcast.
It was not required to include female bodies in medical
research until the 90s. The 90's the fucking. 90s So we
(18:51):
spent all of these years tellingwomen how to eat, to stay skinny
and giving them horrible advice.Horrible advice.
Yeah, horrible advice. That now that we're doing
research on menopause and on theimpact of diets on menopause and
on the impact of no carb diets on, on female postmenopausal
bodies. And we're looking at
(19:12):
correlations between low carb diets and dementia and women,
and we're looking at correlations between low calorie
diets and menopause transitions is an osteoporosis and premature
broken bones. Like, the research is really
compelling and we have done women such a disservice for so
long by sending this message that what that what allows them
(19:34):
to be a valuable existence on this planet is to appear in a
certain way when all we're doingis setting them up for failure
for literally the rest of their lives.
And not even a long, healthy life.
No, we're taking years off theirlives by telling them to diet
this way. Yeah, yeah.
It makes me so angry. It makes me.
It makes me ragey. And, and to be fair, there are
(19:56):
plenty of men who experience disorder eating as well.
Oh my goodness. Would not ever really talked
about. Yeah, not ever really talked
about. Yeah.
You know, and it's. So accurate.
It's so out there guys. You have.
One life, only one life, and only one body.
You only get one of each. Please take care of it.
(20:16):
And and enjoy it. Please.
Enjoy it, eat the burger, man. Enjoy it, burgers are delicious
just. Get outside, go for a walk, have
water, water. More than once a day.
Water does incredible things forweight regulation.
Incredible things. Water and sleep.
It also, yeah, I mean, I also don't think that it's, you know,
now we're going too long, but like the they've complicated it.
(20:41):
They've made it so complicated to like live a healthy what?
What is healthy? There's the first question.
And because I like think about the elders in my life and
they're like, well, I can't havethis.
I can't have this. I have to eat this much.
And it's like, have you walked today?
Have you had water? Have you had protein?
(21:04):
Like the lack of. Protein in the elders of my life
is alarming because I'm like your insides though.
But they also, to be fair, have had the absolute worst of it,
right? They were told only eat meat.
Then they were told never eat meat.
Then they were told never eat carbs.
And then we went, and then we went to like, never eat fat,
(21:26):
which is the worst possible thing that we could do.
Literally every system in your body functions on fat.
Fat and carbohydrates are so vital to operating systems of
yourself. So vital.
But we told them don't eat this,don't eat this, don't eat this.
And so then they just like bounced from 1 fad to another
and then everything got rebranded, right?
(21:47):
Adkins is now keto. Like there is just like this
endless cycle. Atkins, Atkins.
Atkins, yeah. That was like, that was the 90s,
right? Early 2000s.
That was like no carbs only, only proteins and fats.
Like eat was. I remember it was like, eat lots
of eggs and bacon. Remember when, like IHOP, had an
(22:08):
Atkins diet menu? Menu, yeah.
And like they're. Intermittent fasting got pushed
on. Real hard intermittent fasting
and and all of these, I shouldn't say all some of these
diets have scientific value. Intermittent fasting has
scientific value for specific populations for specific periods
(22:30):
of time. Same thing with keto.
Specific populations, specific periods of time.
Yeah. These are meant to be
implemented at certain stages, planned, strategized, executed,
and then you move on from them. You don't just live your life
that way forever. And, and unfortunately, like,
that's also not, well, one, it'snot communicated, but two, it's
(22:53):
like, that's whatever. That's what everyone receives,
right? It's like you receive the newest
trending diet because the research came out and it said
that intermittent fasting reduces inflammation and
increases your body's ability toprocess whatever, whatever,
whatever. And, and, but that's like those
studies are based on like 6 weektrial periods, 12 week trial
periods. And we take those trial periods
and then we decide that we're just going to live out the rest
(23:13):
of our life that way until the next new thing comes along.
Until it stops working too. Right.
And then we pivot from one to the other instead of just like
living a life where you eat goodfood and you eat.
Whole Foods, right just. Like go back to the basics.
Drink more water, go to sleep, be a happy person.
(23:33):
Do you know how much stress? Sunlight.
Do you know how much stress impacts your body's ability to
manage a healthy weight? I would.
Say you think a lot, right? Yes, you know scientist, but I
know scientist. But if you're spending all of
your days obsessing over how many grams are on that food
scale and whether or not you need to include or remove that
(23:56):
extra grain of rice, the amount of like resting stress that is
in your body is not going to help you get to the ultimate
results that you want. And does it feel good?
No. Because I do think that there's
a time and a place for things, right?
There's yes, there's a time and a place, right?
But I mean, that's why I still track.
It's like it's because of performance.
(24:17):
Yeah. It's to make sure that I'm
supporting my inside so that thethings I want to do on the
outside I'm not going to crush myself with, right?
Well, and it's. Also data collection right?
If you want, if your goal is foryour Macs to be 50 lbs more than
it is right now, what have you done?
Heavens, heavens, what have you done calorically to get yourself
(24:40):
to where you are now? And therefore, what do you need
to do calorically to get you to an additional 50 lbs of Max
weight? I mean, talk about energy too.
I think that was the biggest take away.
When I went from, like, eating 1700 calories or less to eating
2000 calories, I was like the Energizer Bunny.
(25:02):
Yeah. I was like, you want to go for a
run? Let's go.
I don't even like running. Let's do it.
I was like, I mean, just happierthroughout my day.
I could be like, more active with my kids.
Like all of it is connected, right?
Because it's a few, it's literal.
Fuel like changing it? It is literal fuel and it's fuel
for your brain. It's you're beating your brain
(25:23):
and if you have a female body that is is actively in a monthly
transitional hormonal cycle, your liver needs carbs to
process the hormones. Say it again for the people in
the back. Your liver needs carbs give up
to them and I'm God, there's like so many things I want to
say last thing I'm going to say going back to genetics yes,
(25:46):
because I feel like what Maureenpointed out with admittedly good
genes, IE I've never been a big person same admittedly good
genes. I think the quote UN quote
heaviest I've ever been when I've been unhealthy is maybe
close to 130 lbs. Not pregnant.
(26:07):
Yeah, not pregnant. OK, not pregnant.
I was like, what? No, no, no.
She gained a lot of weight when she was pregnant.
It was like nearly 60 lbs with each of my children.
God bless. But which is a whole different
conversation about gaining weight for women.
Guess what? I gained 60 lbs nearly with each
of my children. I am 5 foot one.
Are you really? 515 eighths.
OK, I'm 5/1. Generally my resting weight is
(26:30):
somewhere between like 112 and 118.
It fluctuates. Imagine.
That's my one leg. But like that's my point is so
when I have when I have been at my heaviest, quote UN quote, not
pregnancy related, just like when my health was not
optimized, I was still barely 1:30.
But the comments from people. Oh yeah.
(26:53):
But my point is, I'm a petite person.
I'm not very tall, I'm not very big.
I if I don't take in close to 300 or excuse 303,000 calories a
day when I'm active, I can't function.
So my tiny body, which accordingto all the charts, if you look
at charts for BMI and height andweight and how many calories you
(27:15):
should be taking in based on that information.
Which don't will. That's a whole another episode.
It's all bullshit. It's all bullshit.
It's all bullshit. If my if I were to take in the,
I don't know, 1600 calories, 1800 calories that, like
textbooks say is standard for mybody, I would not get out of
bed. No.
I would not be able to get out of bed.
Days where I'm super busy and I miss a meal.
(27:35):
I feel like I'm gonna die. Should take a lot of calories.
Good, because yet again. Your brain needs calorie.
Your brain, your body needs it. Also, just like you're so
beautiful, however you are, however your body is, that is
your vessel and it's powerful and it's keeping you alive.
(28:01):
I mean right. I love the the saying you can't
hate yourself into like loving yourself essentially.
Yeah, it's like. That starts right now.
Right now. Yes, and it's not too late.
It's never too late. You're in your 60s and you're
trying the next nude next nude fad.
Why? Why?
(28:21):
My question is why? Why?
What's your motivation? What's, what's the what was the
impetus? And what's the feeling behind
the impetus? What got you to that impetus?
Do you want your health to improve?
Great. See a nutritionist.
Do you want your body to look different?
OK, why? Yeah, because I don't think
(28:42):
that's bad, No. But I think it depends on the,
the why, the why matters and like, what's different?
Like what? What does that mean, right?
Do you want to like put on more muscle?
Yeah, because like, there's that.
What in the end this? Goes don't worry, but just like
that whole like I'm. Going to put on lean.
(29:04):
Lean muscle Lean. Muscle.
Toned muscle, and I'm still dealing with that as an
instructor where I get comments like that people would be like,
I just want to put on just the lean.
Like I don't want to get bulky. I don't want to eat too many
carbs because I'll get bulky. I don't want to lift too heavy
because it's like the muscles there, right?
You build the muscle. It's inside your body already.
(29:25):
It's already. There, that's as lean as it's
going to get because it's not very strong.
So like, so you did it, I guess.But if if we're going for what
the visual is, then you need to make it bigger and stronger.
Yeah, if you want, if your look that you're going for is
atrophied muscles. OK, Mm.
(29:46):
Hmm. Check.
Stop working out I guess. Yeah, like skinny fat is that's
the skinny fat, right? Yeah.
And but like if you wanna have this quote, UN quote tone
situation, right, it's like you have to build the muscle, the
muscle to be visual on the outside of your fat and skin.
So. Build your muscle.
Feed it fuel. And you have to fuel.
(30:07):
It it starts with feeling it, yeah.
Can't just like bicep. A curl into it, into having a
bicep like that. No.
No, you can try I guess. I guess, I guess it's a harder.
Road, I'm sure at some point it would, you know, either snap and
look like Popeye. Just just get out your shake
weight. Remember Shake?
Weight. Oh my God, Remember Shake
Weight? Talk about a fad.
(30:29):
So cute. What a great look for everyone
using the Shake Weight. I mean that was definitely
produced by a porn 100% king A. 100%.
I mean, I think that's where we leave that.
Let's get Shake Weight. We're going to buy you a Shake
Weight, Maureen. Maureen, thank you so much for
your question. It was an amazing question.
(30:50):
Here's a Shake Weight. Here's a shake weight.
You too get a shake weight. Thanks for coming to KT Hot
Takes. Hot take.
Hot take? Was that a high kick or a fan
kick? It was a pancake.
Into a layout. How do we end it?
I would like to have a little more balance.
(31:11):
I feel like I really. You really went for it?
High up on that soapbox she was.She went to the top of Mount
Everest. I think that's important
message. Yes, but you have that.
Yes, but you have the knowledge,you have the science back
backing of that. I'm just like, let's be nicer to
ourselves. Yeah, thank you.
Thanks. And also, please be nice to
(31:33):
yourself. Actually I had a conversation
about with a student of mine who's also of the Marine age and
she was saying. Just.
Future, future episodes of like,let's talk about perimenopause
and like, how can we help those people who are in our age and
going into that so that they're not fucking miserable?
(31:54):
Yeah, for 100 and for 10 years, because that's also a hot topic
right now in the world is like, what is perimenopause and why
are we not educated on it? Why has nobody told us about it?
Because we don't study women's. Bodies so I know so then that'll
be a great episode for you to jump high high on that I'll
build I'll I'll build it and youhit it out we're.
(32:15):
Going to go to the top of Mount Everest and then we're going to
build a skyscraper on top of it and then we're going to go to
the roof deck of the skyscraper and I will.
And talk about. To the stars.
Yeah, So what's Maureen's? I feel like there was a really
important there was a response in my heart that was really
important to me that I didn't get out of my mouth because my
(32:36):
mouth was too busy being angry. I got rage mouth with calm
brain. It's real hard.
Yeah, it is hard. It's like how you balance.
So yes, I got high on my high horse because I am like the Mama
bear who wants to protect all ofmy little little bear Cubs.
And my version of that is like, let me get rage.
(32:59):
Let me go full rage and like, bare my fangs and my bear claws
are out and I will RIP you to pieces.
However. And so that's like my feeling
toward the Wellness industry in general.
Because it is. AI don't even know what it is
multibillion dollar industry at this point.
Years ago it was already hundreds of billions of dollars
(33:22):
in values. So I don't even know what it is
today in 2025. But it's like basic marketing,
right? People look for an opportunity
for a hole in the market, for anopportunity to provide or
present a product to your end user that they feel like they're
lacking or that they there's like this need that's created,
(33:45):
right? Like whether the need is real or
not, that's what marketing does is creates a need so that you
are more invested, interested ininvesting in their product.
And so there has been like this campaign that goes way farther
back than the modern Wellness industry about how women
specifically need to buy certainthings, do certain things, have
(34:08):
certain practices, eat certain things, drink certain things,
take certain. Because we're the weaker sex.
Yeah, to make their bodies look a certain way.
Because we have been told over and over again that that's what
provides value, right? If we can have a certain kind of
body, then we are more valuable as a human.
(34:28):
That is such an upsetting concept to me, and aside from
all of the anger. That it brings out in me.
There is a, there is such a piece of my heart that makes me
so sad for all of these people, for all of these.
And I don't just want to say women because it's not just
(34:49):
women. No, it's not just women.
A lot of the time it's women, right?
I mean, we're. Yes.
Because the problem that they'vecreated is telling us that we
are, we are lacking. Yeah.
That's the problem that they've created.
Yeah. And we provide more value by
augmenting our parents. Yeah, or our personality or
whatever The thing is, right? Like we are told that we can
(35:10):
have more value by changing how we present to the world.
And that is, that's the message that I want to light on fire.
Just light it right? Down the fire.
And punt it into the atmosphere.Wherever you punt things,
wherever you punt things straight.
Down to hell, I don't know, straight into a black hole.
(35:33):
I don't know where it goes, I don't know.
So I can fuck off somewhere else.
Send it with those Janko's. Straight with those janko's out.
Of here and the waist trainers. The waist trainers, but I think
really the root of this questionthat Maureen asked that I want
(35:53):
to address is for all of those women and it and it in past
versions it has been Kimberly. And.
Past versions it has been Tori for all of us.
Where is the message coming fromthat we are not valuable enough
as we stand today in this moment?
(36:15):
And for most of us, the messaging starts externally,
right? Nobody comes out of the womb.
And it was like, well, I'm goingto have to think about
maintaining a certain physique when I'm older.
That's the messaging that we receive.
And then we embody it and then we make it a part of our
identity. And so my question and also my
(36:35):
challenge to those people. And as Maureen is talking about
her peers that are also in their60s, these people who have
spent, if they're in their 60s, I'm going to guess they've spent
50 years at least being concerned about how their body
looks. Who are you if you're not
looking in the mirror? And if you're not looking in the
(36:56):
mirror, do you? Are you still valuable?
I think the answer is yes. I mean the answer.
It's not that you think it is. It is.
It is. You are still valuable no matter
what you look like. I mean, the invention of mirrors
really fucked it up for everybody.
Honestly. And then scales.
(37:17):
And then, well, and then scales,right.
But that's just part of the business.
That's part of the it's a tool that was created with the mask
of helping when really it's hindering.
And I mean, there's times where shit's important.
Like, you know, all of those tools are important, but then we
(37:38):
start to use them as like as ouridentity in our crutch.
And you know, if I don't have these things then I am lacking
somehow. Yeah, yeah.
Like those, like those things contribute to you having enough
control over your body, how you present that then you are
valuable enough as a human. And so I think my first truly to
(38:01):
those to those people, to those women and people of all genders
and all ages who are having, whoare experiencing that.
Is there somebody, is there a person in your life who is
giving you that message? Or is it just society, right.
And if it's society, it's a lot harder to tune it out.
And it's also easier because like you're not directly
attached to those people. You can stop looking at the
(38:23):
tabloids. You can stop looking at People
magazine. You can stop reading Us Weekly
and reading about all the fad diets and reading all of the
gossip magazines where they where they literally make money
by trashing celebrities for having weight fluctuation bodies
for being normal humans. Yeah.
But like, if there is a person in your life who is actually
(38:46):
delivering that message to you, whether it is an external person
or it exists in your own body, Iwould encourage you to have an
open dialogue and say, like, what is it that makes you
believe that my value is attached to the size of my body,
(39:06):
the size of the clothes that I wear, the way that I look in a
swimsuit, the way that I look onmy yoga mat?
Yeah. Because when you're on your
deathbed, respect the deathbed, respect the deathbed.
When you're when you're on your deathbed, does that matter?
(39:29):
Do you think you're going to look back at your whole life and
think, like, man, I'm really glad I spent so much of my life
stressing about making my body look a certain way.
And it's also a hard. But even now, even now, like
even now in my life, and I've only had what, 3, almost 4
(39:53):
decades? I mean that I, there have been
times where I mean, I look back and I'm like, man, I wish I had
not wasted or you look back at pictures.
I've that's I've noticed that I'll look back at pictures where
I like, didn't feel good. And I look back now Tori looks
back and I'm like, what the fuckwas I thinking?
Like I look great. Yeah, yeah.
(40:14):
She's a hottie with a body. I mean, let's talk about body
dysmorphia. Right.
And like and, but and I think that it all comes from this
multibillion dollar thing yeah and I don't even think it's
tabloids anymore because like who's really looking at those?
I mean, maybe the 60 year olds, but like social media is really
where it comes from, right And the the idea that this like AII
(40:37):
just had this experience IA few days ago where AI is now doing
like headshots. I've seen that yes.
And I but in the in this moment of talking to this person, they
literally said they're like theysaw a picture of the their real
(40:59):
self compared to their IAI headshot.
And they're like, oh, I don't like myself anymore.
Like literally said it out loud.And I was like, that is the
problem. That's a big problem.
Like I understand using like a tiny little like thumbnail,
right? So just you can't really see if
it what that is like for business, right?
Yeah, but but, but that's a that's a problem.
(41:22):
It's taking something that kind of looks like you and enhancing
all these features to whatever this standard is, whatever this
gold standard is. And therefore, I mean, there's
like kids going into doctors andbeing like, make me look like
this filter. So it makes me so sad and you
(41:42):
know, but that's no different than than the tabloids and and
and all that. But now it's readily available.
Yeah, and it's everywhere you look.
And it's also this like even thesubconscious shit out there
that's happening is is hard for like the younger, the younger
generations right where they don't even know that that's
(42:04):
necessarily a bad thing, But allof a sudden they're looking at
themselves and then be like, Oh well, why are my arms look like
that? Or why does my face not angular
like that? Yeah.
Right. Why don't I have a thigh gap?
Is thigh gap so hot? Are we still looking for thigh
gaps? I would say in some markets,
yes. Like even on my skinniest of
(42:24):
days, it's how your body's built.
Yeah, that's. Because you have like, it's
because you have blood in your veins and you have skin on your
bones and you have muscle and you have Cellulite.
But by the way, BT doves, everybody has Cellulite.
Everybody. You can't get rid of it.
You can just dehydrate. It Oh my God, did you always
(42:45):
going to be there? Do you ever have a fascia
blaster? Come on the.
Fascia Blaster. I definitely fought one 100% and
I sat in my shower with some like kind of I don't know, it
was not, I guess it was an oil, but some kind and just just
rubbed it on my. Thighs and did a blast your.
And I was black and blue, so that's cool.
(43:09):
That's like, what? A trade off, you know?
And did I have Stellulite still?Yeah, Yeah.
I mean. Yeah, because it's a part of our
structure. It's a part of our physiological
human structure. We all, every single one of us
on this planet has Cellulite. We all have it.
Some of it, some of us have morevisible Cellulite than others.
(43:33):
But like that's who you're that's that's your body.
And if that makes you less valuable of a human because your
Cellulite is more visible that there's no if, by the way, that
doesn't make you more valuable of a human to have less visible
Cellulite, no, does not increaseyour value.
It's not something I have a checklist for.
(43:53):
When I have friends, I'm like, show me your Cellulite.
I can see it get out of here. In fact, if you do, I want you
to sit at my table because, you know, I'm like, yeah, let's all
talk about it. Let's talk about how it's never
affected my life. No, you know, like in the in the
respecting of the deathbed, in the things that I've done in my
(44:14):
life and all the fun adventures I've gone on, my cellulite's
never stopped me. Of course not.
So like and look at how strong you are and all the things that
your body can do. Yes, aside from, by the way,
creating and building a human. Your body built a human twice. 2
times, yeah. A whole ass human, A whole ass
(44:37):
big babies you. You're not.
A big ass baby. Big old babies.
Come on. I mean, yeah, large.
Large and in charge. I've never though.
When I was pregnant, it was the sexiest I've ever felt.
I know that's rare, so I know I'm not.
There's not a lot of people sitting at that table with me,
(44:57):
but it is when I felt the sexiest.
There is something, I mean, I imagine partially it's hormones,
but there is something very likevery empowering about being
pregnant, especially I mean, and3rd trimester I feel like is
horrendous for the majority of us.
I was. My body was so in pain in 3rd
(45:18):
trimester, but I also felt so magical.
I felt so powerful. It depended on which one we're
talking about. First or second?
First I felt good. Yeah.
I was like, oh, we are crushing it.
Bam bam bam. Second one, everything happened
fast. And so by the time I got to my
third, I was third Friday Master.
I was like, all right, we could be done now.
(45:39):
We could be my joints. Oh yeah.
My I'm just my body. I had the worst pubic synthesis
dysfunction. Ouch.
Ouch. Pubic bone pain.
Don't recommend it to anyone, ever.
Never. I have a touch of it right now
'cause we did a hip thrust at the gym and they don't have
enough. They don't have.
They have one singular like cushion that goes around the bar
(46:02):
at my gym. Why they only have one?
Well, what's everyone else supposed to use?
Well, if you're me, you use yoursweatshirt because I was like,
which I'm sure the balance is soaccurate and so on point.
But yeah, the next day I woke upand I felt like somebody had
punched me right in the vagina. I was like, Ouch.
Fun, yeah. Cute.
I love it but my butt strung so.And.
(46:25):
Start off question mark. Your butt strong, which means
you have pelvic stability, whichmeans when you are in menopause
and post menopausal you're goingto be less likely to have hip
fractures and that's really important.
Oh, what a good day. Come on.
Come on. Come on future Tori High 5.
Come on, future Tori. I think what is what I felt was
(46:49):
most important to say is if you believe that your value is
connected to how you look and that message has been so deeply
ingrained in you because societyhas provided that message to you
since you came out of the womb, it is not too late.
It is never too late for you to be able to reframe your
(47:10):
perception of the world and yourperception of yourself.
And that is way easier said thandone.
Like I have only been exposed tothat messaging for 40 years of
my life. And I think it took me well into
my 30s to be able to like, really walk away from that
messaging after I'm, I think decades of trying and like
vacillating between like that messaging means nothing to me
(47:33):
and I am who I am and feeling like really powerful and
confident in who I was. And then, you know, like to the
man sticking it to the man, thatman can suck.
It. But then and then regressing and
then sliding back into like whatI hate to say comfortable
because it's not comfortable, but like what is?
What is comfortable because it'swhat is known.
(47:54):
Yeah. I've, I've vacillated I don't
even know how many times over recent decades.
So if you have been receiving that messaging now for 60 plus
years, it's going to be even harder because you've been
receiving that message for even longer.
And also at any given time you get to decide what your own
(48:15):
priorities are. Yeah, redefine.
You get to redefine. Yeah, it, I mean, yeah, it's
100% hard. It's deeply the deeply
ingrained, the well is deep. And so to climb out of the well
also when water keeps rushing in, you know, from the outside
world, yeah, it feels impossible.
(48:36):
But I definitely do. I mean, I agree it is something
the reprogramming of the brain is necessary if you want to live
a well, if you want to like lookback at your life and be like,
thank God I didn't waste time worrying about my Cellulite, you
know? Yeah, and being able to be
present. I mean, there's such a, there's
(48:58):
such like a shift that comes from not sitting down and
looking at your dinner plate andthinking about what every single
thing on that plate is going to do to your body.
There's something really freedompowering and really liberating
to just like sit down and enjoy a meal and be present with the
(49:18):
people that you're with. Yeah.
And put clothes on that make youfeel good and that feel
comfortable and that fit who youare instead of like a a thing
that you're trying to achieve toplease.
Who even knows who? I I don't know, who are we
(49:38):
trying to please? Yes, who are we trying to please
out there? And why isn't it yourself?
I mean, it should be yourself. Yeah, I don't know.
You're you're the. I mean, here's the thing.
You're good. You're good.
Wherever you are. Whoever you are, you're good.
You're valuable. You are a worthy human.
You belong here. You deserve to be here just as
(49:59):
much as everybody else. The way that your body presents
has nothing to do with that. We want you at our table.
We want you at our table. Come on, sit down.
And if somebody else doesn't want you at their table, they
can get fucked. Well, I mean, they just don't
deserve you. Yeah, period.
Yeah, and that's how you and that's how you weed out the
trash. The weeds take out the trash,
(50:21):
take out the trash. If they don't want you at their
table, you don't belong there. You don't want to be there.
No, because there are some really kick ass tables.
Yeah, find them, find them, findthem.
Let them find you. We get 30.
We're doing that. Energy's low, Energy's low.
(50:43):
Yeah, yeah, we tard. That was my message.
That was what I really wanted toget across after being after
raging for 30 minutes, I really just wanted to.
Say, I don't think you're raging, though I think you were
passionate, but because you alsosee you've been in the Wellness
industry for so long that you'vegotten to witness first hand how
(51:05):
negatively impactful it can be to the human psyche.
I mean it can be life altering. For people is life altering.
I mean, as somebody who has oscillated back and forth, just
like you were just saying, like I have come from not caring to
very much caring to over caring to going back to not caring.
And that can happen in a day. For me, that can happen like 10
(51:26):
times, like from moment to moment because the reprogramming
takes so long. So I think it's an OK thing to
put your body on a soapbox and and say, because you also have
the knowledge to back it up, right?
For me, I just like look at themand like it.
Look at myself and look at thosewho are also affected by it and
say it's just a sad, lonely place to be.
(51:49):
Like I have never felt so alone when in those moments and not
good enough and being like, why don't I look different when I'm
working so hard? And it's like, I can't this the
(52:09):
stuff that, that I, that I've wanted to change about myself
are it's you can't like I can't,I cannot make myself fucking
taller. She tried, you know, like I
can't change that. And so I'm going to like
embracing being a hippie lady, being a curvaceous babe.
I've always, I mean that, you know, when we were told back
(52:31):
when we were little to not have an ass?
Yeah. It's the one thing the
Kardashians have given us. Thanks, guys.
That butts. Are cool my butts not trending?
Thanks a lot, Kardashians. Scott, you just here's a great
point you just made. You can never win.
We never win. I just want my butt to be
trendy. Got to get.
(52:52):
Your pelvic pain by doing some. Hit crust because, I mean, so I
think it's fine that you're in asoapbox because we need to hear
it. And I think that's a little bit
of the reprogramming is putting yourself around people who have
reprogrammed themselves. Yeah, in the female space, like
(53:13):
finding people who know the other way to live instead of
putting yourself around. It's the social media feed.
If you're like, if you're seeingthe social medias that are like,
you can only look like this, youshould only look at this.
Put this waist trainer on. Drink this shitty.
Tea. That's literally going to make
you poop yourself. Like if you're seeing those
(53:34):
things, it is your job to figureout how to get them off of your
feed. You stop following those people,
you change the algorithm, or youput social media away. 5 million
silly cat videos until your algorithm changes, yeah.
I start we started watching withthe boys like funny animal
videos on Instagram and now that's all I.
(53:56):
See all day long. That and like female
empowerment, right? Yeah, you know.
So and it's a way better space. It's a way better space and I
have started to or like for the,for me, who wants to like learn
how to lift really heavy and puton more muscle before I turn 40.
I'm like, I have to find those women out there who are doing
(54:17):
that and like, how are they doing it in a healthy Safeway,
right? So we're not like injecting
things, even though like God bless, get out there and do it
if you want to. But like I'm not injecting like
Botox. I'm not talking about that, but
like the steroidy vibes, you know, but like, here's how you
(54:38):
eat to fuel your food because food is fuel.
Yeah, full stop. Yeah, full stop.
That was the biggest lesson I have taken away in the last five
years, that food is fuel, Not how much can that food can I
take away to make myself smaller, which I I did that for
about a decade too. But like, you know, it was like,
oh, if I want to if I want to build muscle, I have to eat
(55:02):
things. Yeah, you have to support that
goal. Your.
Vehicle. Yeah.
And yes, your car's not going todrive if your tanks aren't
empty. Somebody said that about sweets
and kids. Shout out to my friend Kirsten,
who used this analogy of like, like we call him Kachau.
(55:22):
Yeah. Lightning McQueen.
I love that you got that dog. Good chow.
We say that. In the chow all the time.
Good chow, Good chow. And so she was like, listen, if
you're, you know, Kuchao was outthere trying to like run that
race. He can't just have the good, you
know, the the sweet gasoline. He's got to have the good fuel
that's going to make him go fast.
Just talking, trying to talk to your kids about balance of like
(55:44):
not bad food and good food, right, Which is also a whole
nother topic that I've that's one that's deeply ingrained of
like, Oh yeah, that's bad and that's good and it's like, no,
no, no, they're not good they'renot bad it's just different kind
of fuel yeah they. Exist and they serve different
purposes for your body, and yourbody has more needs from some
(56:08):
food groups than others. Because it's a good fuel.
That's what's going to make you like, run your race, right?
Your race of life. Right.
Actually run it, babe. And so, yeah, I just think it's
it's I think the soap boxes are needed.
And you find the people who you don't mind, listen to scream
(56:28):
from their soap box, get ragey and get ragey.
And it's OK to get ragey and then take a breath like you did.
And you came back and you're like, I didn't need to be ragey.
But the but the message is important.
Yeah. So I think it's fine.
Great. And I'm gonna, yeah, it's, it's
balanced, right? It's all about the balance.
(56:49):
I'm going to be ragey. I'm going to be on my soapbox.
And I'm also going to tell you, hey, babe, you're enough.
And if you have somebody in yourlife that's telling you you're
not enough, then I'm then I'm going to direct my rage toward
them and they can get fucked. On that note.
And if you want to go out and get Botox and breast implants
and a nose job and do all the things, that's your prerogative.
(57:10):
That's your choice. There's that's not my place to
decide either way, right? But it's like that's a decision
that you have to make for yourself.
Yeah. Who's telling you?
Is it you or somebody else? Yeah, that's what matters.
Yeah. Because I know.
I mean, lots of women who have done all of those things.
Yeah. And some.
I mean, I had a reduction. I didn't get my boobs augmented
(57:31):
outwards and had them cut from my body.
But but best decision I've ever.Best decision of my entire life.
Oh yeah, I would do it 17 more times.
I believe it just structurally, how much better do you feel?
Oh my God, Oh my God, how much better can I breathe?
My asthma like got so much better because I didn't have
weight. 10 lbs. Like Oh my gosh, do we even have
(57:52):
time for that story? Do it.
So to get insurance to cover my breast reduction, my mom had
one, my grandmother had one. So I was like, and in 4th grade
I was like AC. In 4th grade.
Yeah, baby. Tori, Yeah, baby Tori, it was
huge. Yeah, she had, she had a rack
for days. And I would like wear polos like
(58:12):
'cause when I was at a school where we had to wear uniforms,
Catholic school it wasn't, but we were up until like 5th grade,
you had to wear a uniform this school.
Doesn't even exist. Anymore.
In the 90s had Catholic. It was uniforms but we were not
Catholic. There was no religion to the
school that I was aware of. And then during 6th, 7th and 8th
(58:33):
you could wear what you express yourself.
But so 4th grade when I got huge, I was the only girl that
had actual bra and I wore polos to try to hide it, which made me
just feel even bigger because like boy polos.
And then I mean, I spent a good,no, I spent all of my life up
(58:56):
until I had them cut off hiding under big shirts.
And but I mean, the best decision of my life.
What was I even going to say? Hold on, I've lost it.
We're talking about breast reduction.
Oh yes. So to get it, to get it covered
by insurance, 'cause I was like 21 when I got this done.
(59:19):
As such, I was already still a baby.
But it was necessary, especiallyfor theatre.
I couldn't dance the way I wanted to dance.
Singing was hard. I'm hard.
And you know, I mean like, you can't even, you just have like.
Kardiosis forever. You can't even like you can't
even like you. Can't even like you can't even
like you can't. Even like you can't.
Even like you can't even, like you can't even like you can't
even like, I was pretty serious.So I went into my so I got a
chiropractor, you know, a note from my chiropractor.
(59:40):
But I was like, let's double down.
I went to my asthma specialist who had I, I'd had, he had been
my doctor since I was 2, is thiscute little Asian man.
And I went in and did all the normal tests and then we did
them again and I lifted my tits off of my chest.
So that was a weight bearing anddid them again.
(01:00:01):
And every single test got better.
And so he was like, Yep, here you go.
And so I got a for the most part.
I still would pay, you know, a little bit, but not anything
compared to what it would have been.
So, you know, I believe that. There's some good things that
plastic surgery. Can do for you, yeah, You know.
Yes, yes. And, and that was the best
(01:00:23):
decision of my life. I would do it again.
I have a deviated septum I'm going to have to end up getting
my nose worked on at a certain point and like maybe I'll change
the shape of it, I don't know. And if I do that it will 100% be
purely for vanity. But also like, am I?
This is like a whole new tangent.
I don't even want to go on. I don't want to no, never mind.
(01:00:44):
Stop it. You don't get to know.
You don't get I'm giving. It to myself.
You have to keep listening to our podcast because we got some
stuff to talk about. God damn it anyway.
That's our problem. We just keep going.
We just keep going. We'll have to listen to the
other one and put it. Yeah, we'll figure out how to
because. Otherwise, it's an hour and a
half now. Yeah, OK, well, guess what?
(01:01:07):
You're enough. You're never too much.
You're always enough. Yep.
And that person, if there's a person or people in your life
who are telling you otherwise, punch him right in the throat
straight. Just throat punch.
Get him out. We're not condoning no, but
metaphorically punch. Them in the.
(01:01:32):
Throat. Tori and Kimberly told me to do
it. So yeah, please don't do that.
I mean. No.
OK, fine. Fine, but I guess we're done
here, so. See you next.
Tuesday. Bye.
(01:01:54):
That's what a Hills and Valleys episode that was.
Sick tits, Sick titties. Do I have to clap?
Do it 5. 678. I like the.
We get a 567. Yeah.
Hi, friends. I'm Kimberly.
I'm Tori. And you're listening to.
It's nothing. It's everything.
Every single thing. Something really fun is
happening today. Yes, people are sending us
(00:20):
questions. God, I love that already.
People are asking us questions. They're sometimes it's a voice
note, sometimes it's a message. Today we have a message, so
we're going to do. What are we calling it so?
We're going to do a little KT hot take.
Yeah, this is our hot take. I'm.
Just trying to think of some kind of fun song to be like.
I think the Nellie is on hot take.
(00:41):
Oh, that's funny because it might have my hot take where we
go. I remember this like, not that I
don't. I don't need Nelly to be my.
No, Nelly, come on, what was that?
Band-Aid, Heidi and. Nothing.
Take that band. Nothing and everything.
(01:03):
Probably it's it's full of secrets, that Band-Aid.
That tiny little Band-Aid has somany secrets.
But if also you have a question and you're like, I want to ask
them, there's no silly questions.
No silly questions, no TMI. Questions.
No, we want it all. It can literally be anything.
It can literally be anything. What's your favorite breakfast?
Yeah. You can send it to us on.
My. Because and.
(01:26):
We're we're going to consult AI for that one.
Dear chap GBT, why do dogs have noses?
Why? But we're going to be hella
funny when we but make it witty.But make it witty, Yeah.
So send us your questions. Yes, please.
You can do it on Instagram and that's.
It. That's really all you can.
We're not giving you our phone numbers.
No, no, no, no, no. If you know me personally, we're
Kimberly personally. You can, but.
(01:48):
And if you know either of us personally, send it with no
context so we're completely caught off guard.
You're it's. OK.
So our question today comes fromthe beautiful Maureen.
Am I allowed to say that? Yeah, just yeah.
It comes from Maureen. It comes from Maureen, a human
in this world, and her question is as a woman in her late 60s
(02:09):
and with admittedly good genes, I've never been a big person.
I continue to watch my peers of a similar age obsess about what
they're eating and putting on weight and becoming skinny.
There is so much out there that is wrong or misleading about how
one should eat, but over and over again I see my friends fall
prey to 1 fad diet after another.
(02:29):
I suppose the origin of this is built into our systems via media
and misleading assumptions as wewere raised, but the notion of
this continuing on our entire lives is so painful to watch.
I'm interested in your thoughts about it.
First off, Maureen, thanks for that kick ass question.
Maureen took us straight to the heart of the matter.
(02:53):
She is everything. She is everything.
She is literally period. There's nothing.
She's done everything. What a good 60s.
I mean all people though. Right.
Well, this is where I'm like, I don't even know which side of
the pool to dive into this from because I wanna.
Dive probably the deep end from.All sides, I'm gonna deep it.
And then deep. Into the shallow.
(03:14):
We're gonna get deep in it. We don't get balls deep all up
in you. All up in you.
First of all, Maureen one, thankyou 2.
I love that she specifically highlights the age that she is
because I feel like it's very easy for people who are our age
(03:34):
and younger to be talking about this, but it's so important to
highlight the fact that it's still like it never, it's never
not happening. People are never not thinking
this way because it has been so deeply ingrained in our society
that we as women have to be perfectly formed, shaped, tight,
the skin, the muscles, that everything has to look a certain
(03:57):
way in order for us to be deemedacceptable.
When with men there is no same exception or expectation rather.
But like, even if you are a bigger person, it's more
acceptable. Yeah, for a a bigger man, yeah,
than a bigger lady. Yeah, yeah.
(04:19):
And even I mean, I love that shecalled out genetics, right?
Genetics, genetics are the root,one of the primary roots of this
conversation. You cannot control your genetic
background. You came onto this into this
earth, into this life with the genetics that you have.
There's only you can't do anything about that.
(04:40):
So when we are presented with this idea that we are meant to
look a certain way, and then we are provided in in pop culture
and in modern society and in every magazine you see on a
newsstand, one specific example of the quote UN quote ideal body
type. First of all, that's fucking
(05:02):
insane. Because I don't have that
person, you know, whose geneticsI don't have.
Everybody else's. Literally anybody else's.
I do even have their own genetics.
No, none of their they're not. Real.
None of. That's real.
But like, Oh my God, who's the, what's her name?
Giselle. Giselle.
Yeah, that one. Yeah, Bunchin.
(05:24):
I don't have her genetics. I'm not going to look like.
Her you're not 5-10. I'm not 5-10 believe it or not
my legs did not finish growing so I did.
If you take the 0 off steroid screwed me there I am.
That's another podcast. #Steroid screwed me, yeah.
Sucks to my ass. Mar Yeah.
(05:46):
And there's no. But they also in the 60 or in
the 60s, Well, yes, but women intheir 60s and above, right, grew
up in the deep fads, like deep fads of like of the Kellogg's
diet and what were Weight Watchers And remember, gosh,
(06:08):
what were some of the other ones?
What's it called? Slim Slim fast.
Slim fast. Slim fast.
Yes. And this is also the Oprah
thing, right? When, like Oprah came out with
her little red wagon and everybody was watching back then
the day when, you know, they were raising babies and they
were at home. They're watching Oprah and not
(06:31):
sitcoms. What are the the dramas?
Oh. The the the melodramas.
The the daytime soap operas. Soap operas.
Got there. The soap operas where everyone
was just like, so beautiful and like, manicured.
Yeah, everything was manicured. I mean, don't fuck with my head
too. Yes.
(06:51):
And also like you look at historically the way that women
who have been deemed acceptable to be shown on screen, right?
Like you look at the way that every single woman on screen
looked and it's all the same. They all truly are malnourished
and unwell. Corsets.
(07:13):
But socially accepted, thereforethat's what gives them value as
humans. It's the most asinine.
It's the most asinine and and not to.
I mean, I feel like the plastic surgery conversation is like a
whole different conversation I don't want.
Looking like. Filters I don't want to judge
people for getting plastic surgery.
(07:33):
I it's not my decision to make. It is not my business what
anyone else chooses to make themselves look like.
But the idea that we have to go to such lengths to make
ourselves quote, UN quote, acceptable is deeply
problematic. And then genetics are only one
component of it. Then there's hormones.
(07:56):
Then there's life, lifestyle. And I don't mean lifestyle, like
do you see on the couch all dating bonbons?
I mean, like, how stressful is your life?
Yeah. How much can you actually
regulate your systems? How much sleep can you get?
How much can how much are you taking care of your body?
Do you have the opportunity to cook a home cooked meal?
(08:20):
What is your What does every dayof your life look like?
That you have the ability to support yourself to look a
certain way. Yeah.
And then everything that we lookat, especially now, everything
that we look at in pop culture is like, so specifically
curated, like you look at anybody who's on the cover of
Shape magazine. Oh, sure.
(08:41):
Not only did she starve herself to get to cover photo ready, she
starved herself. She's dehydrated herself.
Everyone that I know in fitness who's ever done a photo shoot
has intentionally you, You. That's part of the process.
You eat less and less and less. You stop drinking water and then
on the day of the photo shoot, you take shots of vodka to
(09:03):
dehydrate your body so that yourmuscles are more prominent in
the photo shoot. Feels like a nightmare.
And then you go to the hospital.That's fine.
But you got a cute photo. That.
They're probably that they're going to have to edit.
I mean that. They're going to, yeah.
There's some Instagram follow, like influencers that I follow
who are like big advocates for not editing.
(09:30):
Yeah. And have, like, have done, have
been models of some kind, fitness models, and they have
been edited and they, like, callout the photographers because
they're like, why? Yeah.
Why was I not cute enough? You hired me to begin with.
Yeah. Why are you editing?
And that's the other thing is, like, understanding that
nothing's real, right? Like the and accepting that be
(09:55):
like that if you can just, like,see it as art, right.
And not even good art, maybe. But like, not taking that on
internally, right? Of like, I have to look like
that person. Yeah, Right.
That has to be my truth. It's like, no.
And can we just throw away all scales?
I mean, I know people who are going for just a number on a
(10:15):
scale, and it's like if you got on that scale over there, it'd
be different. So like, what does it matter?
Not only that, but like what time of day have you peed yet?
Have you? Pooped yet?
Yeah, that's my favorite game. My parents have a scale so we
don't own a scale. I have not owned a scale in, I
don't even know, decades maybe My parents have a scale.
Whenever I am at home at my parents house I use the scale to
(10:36):
see how much I pee. That's literally the reason that
I do it. And my volume is almost always
close to 16 ounces which is pretty impressive but like I can
lose a pound by peeing. Like your weight It's and your
weight will fluctuate. Especially people in female
bodies with constantly fluctuating hormones.
Your weight is going to fluctuate multiple times
(10:59):
throughout the month if you are actively cycling body and
that's. Normal, it's good.
It's probably good. That's good that you have a
period still. You.
Know because those people who are starving themselves and or
you know the orthorexias of the world's which hi, my name is
Troy Sparrow and I have dealt with that in my life really.
(11:20):
Oh my gosh, yes. Where I was like weighing every
day. Yeah.
And tracking to the point that it it took up so much mental
load. I don't mind tracking like I
don't mind macro tracking. I have no problem with it.
I still do it, but not to the point where I am like 1 grain of
rice is going to make me, you know?
(11:43):
And it's a control thing for me more than anything else.
But also and, and, and not to say you can't have goals 'cause
I think that's where it gets misleading is like, well, I have
physique goals or, you know, athletic goals or whatever it
might be. You can have those without doing
the unhealthy craziness. Yeah, you know.
(12:07):
Yeah, well, and you're and, and what are your true goals, right.
If you have athletic goals like you want to push more weight,
that's not necessarily going to produce the aesthetic outcome
that you want. In order to push more weight,
you have to have more reserves, which means you have to bulk up,
which means you have to carb load, which means use like any
(12:30):
bodybuilder that you've seen that isn't like peak
performance. Peak physique performance went
through a chubby phase to be able to bulk up enough to then
have the reserves to work their muscles to the point that you
see them at. Oh, when I was eating even 1700
calories I was getting injured every time I was in the gym.
1700 calories. And doing CrossFit five days a
(12:53):
week and teaching yoga. This is not that far, far away
from right this moment. And I was getting injured so
much. And then I started.
To work with a. Professional who had gone to
school, a nutritionist who went to school and was like, yeah, if
(13:15):
you're eating, if you're that active, like for for a child,
for a for a teenager, the lowestthat they go on like the, you
know, out there in the world, like all the good words are
coming out of my mouth right now.
She like showed me this thing and it was like nothing below
1800. Yeah, right.
(13:36):
And that's for a teenager. Yeah.
I am not a teenager and that's asedentary human being, right?
And so which I am also not. And so like the second I started
to, I don't know, eat a fucking carb, my performance in the gym
went up, which is my goal. That was my goal is like my
where I had to mentally shift mybrain instead of taking up less
(13:59):
space, instead of being the smallest version of Tori, which
wasn't getting me the actual things that I wanted in life.
I wanted to be able to push likebig weights in the gym.
Yeah. Right.
You can't do that on 1800 you. Cannot do that on 1800 calories
or not even that like right And everything was I was grumpy.
(14:23):
I was like, life did not get better.
How was your brain fog? I mean, probably trash and and I
was frustrated anytime and then anytime I would go out, try to
eat with people, it was like, here's, you know, I never got to
the point of like having like myTupperware at a restaurant,
right? But there was guilt of eating
food and it's like. Nourishing your body.
(14:46):
And enjoying, enjoying time withfriends, enjoying the food,
right? Like having a burger and be like
Oh my God. Yeah.
And so I had to be really activein my reprogramming of my brain.
Which takes a lot when the message is delivered to us from
everywhere we turn, everywhere we turn.
(15:06):
Yeah. No matter what, no matter what
age you are, no matter what gym you're going to, no matter where
you grocery shop, the message isstill coming at us from
literally everywhere. Well, and if if you're, you
know, in my mom's bracket, my inthe 60s, right, If it's age 60,
you're not on like social media and or your social media is
curated to just be the fit, be small, right?
(15:30):
Like I also had to look at my social media and be like, are
those how are those accounts making me feel?
Do they make me feel less about myself?
Or are they they are they part of the reprogramming of like
bone density and muscle mass areimportant?
Yeah, right. And so if they weren't, I
stopped following them because Ilove that I couldn't.
(15:51):
But I don't think the the women in their 60s right, as Maureen
asked us was like, are a are necessarily even see it that
way, right. Yeah.
It's like, well, this worked forme when I was in my 40s.
Well, baby, you're not in your 40s anymore.
No, your body has different needs.
Your body has way different needs.
Your and you can't assume like what worked for me in my 20s
doesn't work for me now in my 20s.
(16:14):
Come on, I could stay up past midnight now forget about it.
That's like, it's like drinking a gallon of vodka if I if I stay
up too late. It's horrible.
I feel like absolute. Trash the next day and I was
like, damn it, it's. So bad.
That's, I think that's probably why I was like such a zombie
yesterday, because I went out onWednesday night for my birthday.
I went out to dinner with Kyle. Dinner was at 7:45.
(16:37):
I was like, great, I'll be in bed by 11.
I got home at 11:45 and I was yeah.
And I was like, OK, it's fine. It's fine.
It's just one night. I'm a muscle.
I, by the way, had one glass of champagne all night.
So I was not like drinking. I had a glass of champagne.
Woke up. Woke up.
Yesterday morning and I was likeI can't function what I'm
supposed to do things today. It was horrible.
(16:59):
I had to take a nap. I fell asleep on the couch at
like 9 I. Had to take a nap I.
Had to take a nap. That one glass of champagne did
it. But I think.
There's also, like, so many layers in Maureen's message,
too, because I love how much shecares about the experience of
people around her. She's like, how?
Like what? How can we help them?
And I feel the same way. I think you do too, right?
(17:21):
Like this knowledge that to takecare of your body you must fuel
it is like knowledge that is notperpetuated in our modern
culture at all. You know skinny talk is a thing.
What's that? It's literally TikTok for skinny
people. No.
Yeah, I just learned about that today on my way here when I was
(17:42):
before I was driving, but. Driving and scrolling.
Driving and scrolling I've seen people do.
That stop doing that. So angry.
Please. On the freeway.
Oh my God, Watching shows? Yeah, on.
No. Shame on you anyway.
But but yeah, I, I. Saw this thing of like beyond
skinny talk and yet again, I've curated my my Instagram that
(18:05):
it's these women who are incredibly strong and have
worked on like building muscle and bone density and stuff.
But they're like, can we talk about why that's not it?
No, it's not. It's not it, and it's going to
lead you down paths that you do not want to end in.
Like let us reframe what healthyis.
(18:26):
Yes, and also like, let us be gender specific if you live in a
female body, first of all. I mean, let me get on my soapbox
for a minute, please. It was not required.
It's your podcast. It's my I'm going to get on my
own goddamn soapbox on my own goddamn podcast.
It was not required to include female bodies in medical
research until the 90s. The 90's the fucking. 90s So we
(18:51):
spent all of these years tellingwomen how to eat, to stay skinny
and giving them horrible advice.Horrible advice.
Yeah, horrible advice. That now that we're doing
research on menopause and on theimpact of diets on menopause and
on the impact of no carb diets on, on female postmenopausal
bodies. And we're looking at
(19:12):
correlations between low carb diets and dementia and women,
and we're looking at correlations between low calorie
diets and menopause transitions is an osteoporosis and premature
broken bones. Like, the research is really
compelling and we have done women such a disservice for so
long by sending this message that what that what allows them
(19:34):
to be a valuable existence on this planet is to appear in a
certain way when all we're doingis setting them up for failure
for literally the rest of their lives.
And not even a long, healthy life.
No, we're taking years off theirlives by telling them to diet
this way. Yeah, yeah.
It makes me so angry. It makes me.
It makes me ragey. And, and to be fair, there are
(19:56):
plenty of men who experience disorder eating as well.
Oh my goodness. Would not ever really talked
about. Yeah, not ever really talked
about. Yeah.
You know, and it's. So accurate.
It's so out there guys. You have.
One life, only one life, and only one body.
You only get one of each. Please take care of it.
(20:16):
And and enjoy it. Please.
Enjoy it, eat the burger, man. Enjoy it, burgers are delicious
just. Get outside, go for a walk, have
water, water. More than once a day.
Water does incredible things forweight regulation.
Incredible things. Water and sleep.
It also, yeah, I mean, I also don't think that it's, you know,
now we're going too long, but like the they've complicated it.
(20:41):
They've made it so complicated to like live a healthy what?
What is healthy? There's the first question.
And because I like think about the elders in my life and
they're like, well, I can't havethis.
I can't have this. I have to eat this much.
And it's like, have you walked today?
Have you had water? Have you had protein?
(21:04):
Like the lack of. Protein in the elders of my life
is alarming because I'm like your insides though.
But they also, to be fair, have had the absolute worst of it,
right? They were told only eat meat.
Then they were told never eat meat.
Then they were told never eat carbs.
And then we went, and then we went to like, never eat fat,
(21:26):
which is the worst possible thing that we could do.
Literally every system in your body functions on fat.
Fat and carbohydrates are so vital to operating systems of
yourself. So vital.
But we told them don't eat this,don't eat this, don't eat this.
And so then they just like bounced from 1 fad to another
and then everything got rebranded, right?
(21:47):
Adkins is now keto. Like there is just like this
endless cycle. Atkins, Atkins.
Atkins, yeah. That was like, that was the 90s,
right? Early 2000s.
That was like no carbs only, only proteins and fats.
Like eat was. I remember it was like, eat lots
of eggs and bacon. Remember when, like IHOP, had an
(22:08):
Atkins diet menu? Menu, yeah.
And like they're. Intermittent fasting got pushed
on. Real hard intermittent fasting
and and all of these, I shouldn't say all some of these
diets have scientific value. Intermittent fasting has
scientific value for specific populations for specific periods
(22:30):
of time. Same thing with keto.
Specific populations, specific periods of time.
Yeah. These are meant to be
implemented at certain stages, planned, strategized, executed,
and then you move on from them. You don't just live your life
that way forever. And, and unfortunately, like,
that's also not, well, one, it'snot communicated, but two, it's
(22:53):
like, that's whatever. That's what everyone receives,
right? It's like you receive the newest
trending diet because the research came out and it said
that intermittent fasting reduces inflammation and
increases your body's ability toprocess whatever, whatever,
whatever. And, and, but that's like those
studies are based on like 6 weektrial periods, 12 week trial
periods. And we take those trial periods
and then we decide that we're just going to live out the rest
(23:13):
of our life that way until the next new thing comes along.
Until it stops working too. Right.
And then we pivot from one to the other instead of just like
living a life where you eat goodfood and you eat.
Whole Foods, right just. Like go back to the basics.
Drink more water, go to sleep, be a happy person.
(23:33):
Do you know how much stress? Sunlight.
Do you know how much stress impacts your body's ability to
manage a healthy weight? I would.
Say you think a lot, right? Yes, you know scientist, but I
know scientist. But if you're spending all of
your days obsessing over how many grams are on that food
scale and whether or not you need to include or remove that
(23:56):
extra grain of rice, the amount of like resting stress that is
in your body is not going to help you get to the ultimate
results that you want. And does it feel good?
No. Because I do think that there's
a time and a place for things, right?
There's yes, there's a time and a place, right?
But I mean, that's why I still track.
It's like it's because of performance.
(24:17):
Yeah. It's to make sure that I'm
supporting my inside so that thethings I want to do on the
outside I'm not going to crush myself with, right?
Well, and it's. Also data collection right?
If you want, if your goal is foryour Macs to be 50 lbs more than
it is right now, what have you done?
Heavens, heavens, what have you done calorically to get yourself
(24:40):
to where you are now? And therefore, what do you need
to do calorically to get you to an additional 50 lbs of Max
weight? I mean, talk about energy too.
I think that was the biggest take away.
When I went from, like, eating 1700 calories or less to eating
2000 calories, I was like the Energizer Bunny.
(25:02):
Yeah. I was like, you want to go for a
run? Let's go.
I don't even like running. Let's do it.
I was like, I mean, just happierthroughout my day.
I could be like, more active with my kids.
Like all of it is connected, right?
Because it's a few, it's literal.
Fuel like changing it? It is literal fuel and it's fuel
for your brain. It's you're beating your brain
(25:23):
and if you have a female body that is is actively in a monthly
transitional hormonal cycle, your liver needs carbs to
process the hormones. Say it again for the people in
the back. Your liver needs carbs give up
to them and I'm God, there's like so many things I want to
say last thing I'm going to say going back to genetics yes,
(25:46):
because I feel like what Maureenpointed out with admittedly good
genes, IE I've never been a big person same admittedly good
genes. I think the quote UN quote
heaviest I've ever been when I've been unhealthy is maybe
close to 130 lbs. Not pregnant.
(26:07):
Yeah, not pregnant. OK, not pregnant.
I was like, what? No, no, no.
She gained a lot of weight when she was pregnant.
It was like nearly 60 lbs with each of my children.
God bless. But which is a whole different
conversation about gaining weight for women.
Guess what? I gained 60 lbs nearly with each
of my children. I am 5 foot one.
Are you really? 515 eighths.
OK, I'm 5/1. Generally my resting weight is
(26:30):
somewhere between like 112 and 118.
It fluctuates. Imagine.
That's my one leg. But like that's my point is so
when I have when I have been at my heaviest, quote UN quote, not
pregnancy related, just like when my health was not
optimized, I was still barely 1:30.
But the comments from people. Oh yeah.
(26:53):
But my point is, I'm a petite person.
I'm not very tall, I'm not very big.
I if I don't take in close to 300 or excuse 303,000 calories a
day when I'm active, I can't function.
So my tiny body, which accordingto all the charts, if you look
at charts for BMI and height andweight and how many calories you
(27:15):
should be taking in based on that information.
Which don't will. That's a whole another episode.
It's all bullshit. It's all bullshit.
It's all bullshit. If my if I were to take in the,
I don't know, 1600 calories, 1800 calories that, like
textbooks say is standard for mybody, I would not get out of
bed. No.
I would not be able to get out of bed.
Days where I'm super busy and I miss a meal.
(27:35):
I feel like I'm gonna die. Should take a lot of calories.
Good, because yet again. Your brain needs calorie.
Your brain, your body needs it. Also, just like you're so
beautiful, however you are, however your body is, that is
your vessel and it's powerful and it's keeping you alive.
(28:01):
I mean right. I love the the saying you can't
hate yourself into like loving yourself essentially.
Yeah, it's like. That starts right now.
Right now. Yes, and it's not too late.
It's never too late. You're in your 60s and you're
trying the next nude next nude fad.
Why? Why?
(28:21):
My question is why? Why?
What's your motivation? What's, what's the what was the
impetus? And what's the feeling behind
the impetus? What got you to that impetus?
Do you want your health to improve?
Great. See a nutritionist.
Do you want your body to look different?
OK, why? Yeah, because I don't think
(28:42):
that's bad, No. But I think it depends on the,
the why, the why matters and like, what's different?
Like what? What does that mean, right?
Do you want to like put on more muscle?
Yeah, because like, there's that.
What in the end this? Goes don't worry, but just like
that whole like I'm. Going to put on lean.
(29:04):
Lean muscle Lean. Muscle.
Toned muscle, and I'm still dealing with that as an
instructor where I get comments like that people would be like,
I just want to put on just the lean.
Like I don't want to get bulky. I don't want to eat too many
carbs because I'll get bulky. I don't want to lift too heavy
because it's like the muscles there, right?
You build the muscle. It's inside your body already.
(29:25):
It's already. There, that's as lean as it's
going to get because it's not very strong.
So like, so you did it, I guess.But if if we're going for what
the visual is, then you need to make it bigger and stronger.
Yeah, if you want, if your look that you're going for is
atrophied muscles. OK, Mm.
(29:46):
Hmm. Check.
Stop working out I guess. Yeah, like skinny fat is that's
the skinny fat, right? Yeah.
And but like if you wanna have this quote, UN quote tone
situation, right, it's like you have to build the muscle, the
muscle to be visual on the outside of your fat and skin.
So. Build your muscle.
Feed it fuel. And you have to fuel.
(30:07):
It it starts with feeling it, yeah.
Can't just like bicep. A curl into it, into having a
bicep like that. No.
No, you can try I guess. I guess, I guess it's a harder.
Road, I'm sure at some point it would, you know, either snap and
look like Popeye. Just just get out your shake
weight. Remember Shake?
Weight. Oh my God, Remember Shake
Weight? Talk about a fad.
(30:29):
So cute. What a great look for everyone
using the Shake Weight. I mean that was definitely
produced by a porn 100% king A. 100%.
I mean, I think that's where we leave that.
Let's get Shake Weight. We're going to buy you a Shake
Weight, Maureen. Maureen, thank you so much for
your question. It was an amazing question.
(30:50):
Here's a Shake Weight. Here's a shake weight.
You too get a shake weight. Thanks for coming to KT Hot
Takes. Hot take.
Hot take? Was that a high kick or a fan
kick? It was a pancake.
Into a layout. How do we end it?
I would like to have a little more balance.
(31:11):
I feel like I really. You really went for it?
High up on that soapbox she was.She went to the top of Mount
Everest. I think that's important
message. Yes, but you have that.
Yes, but you have the knowledge,you have the science back
backing of that. I'm just like, let's be nicer to
ourselves. Yeah, thank you.
Thanks. And also, please be nice to
(31:33):
yourself. Actually I had a conversation
about with a student of mine who's also of the Marine age and
she was saying. Just.
Future, future episodes of like,let's talk about perimenopause
and like, how can we help those people who are in our age and
going into that so that they're not fucking miserable?
(31:54):
Yeah, for 100 and for 10 years, because that's also a hot topic
right now in the world is like, what is perimenopause and why
are we not educated on it? Why has nobody told us about it?
Because we don't study women's. Bodies so I know so then that'll
be a great episode for you to jump high high on that I'll
build I'll I'll build it and youhit it out we're.
(32:15):
Going to go to the top of Mount Everest and then we're going to
build a skyscraper on top of it and then we're going to go to
the roof deck of the skyscraper and I will.
And talk about. To the stars.
Yeah, So what's Maureen's? I feel like there was a really
important there was a response in my heart that was really
important to me that I didn't get out of my mouth because my
(32:36):
mouth was too busy being angry. I got rage mouth with calm
brain. It's real hard.
Yeah, it is hard. It's like how you balance.
So yes, I got high on my high horse because I am like the Mama
bear who wants to protect all ofmy little little bear Cubs.
And my version of that is like, let me get rage.
(32:59):
Let me go full rage and like, bare my fangs and my bear claws
are out and I will RIP you to pieces.
However. And so that's like my feeling
toward the Wellness industry in general.
Because it is. AI don't even know what it is
multibillion dollar industry at this point.
Years ago it was already hundreds of billions of dollars
(33:22):
in values. So I don't even know what it is
today in 2025. But it's like basic marketing,
right? People look for an opportunity
for a hole in the market, for anopportunity to provide or
present a product to your end user that they feel like they're
lacking or that they there's like this need that's created,
(33:45):
right? Like whether the need is real or
not, that's what marketing does is creates a need so that you
are more invested, interested ininvesting in their product.
And so there has been like this campaign that goes way farther
back than the modern Wellness industry about how women
specifically need to buy certainthings, do certain things, have
(34:08):
certain practices, eat certain things, drink certain things,
take certain. Because we're the weaker sex.
Yeah, to make their bodies look a certain way.
Because we have been told over and over again that that's what
provides value, right? If we can have a certain kind of
body, then we are more valuable as a human.
(34:28):
That is such an upsetting concept to me, and aside from
all of the anger. That it brings out in me.
There is a, there is such a piece of my heart that makes me
so sad for all of these people, for all of these.
And I don't just want to say women because it's not just
(34:49):
women. No, it's not just women.
A lot of the time it's women, right?
I mean, we're. Yes.
Because the problem that they'vecreated is telling us that we
are, we are lacking. Yeah.
That's the problem that they've created.
Yeah. And we provide more value by
augmenting our parents. Yeah, or our personality or
whatever The thing is, right? Like we are told that we can
(35:10):
have more value by changing how we present to the world.
And that is, that's the message that I want to light on fire.
Just light it right? Down the fire.
And punt it into the atmosphere.Wherever you punt things,
wherever you punt things straight.
Down to hell, I don't know, straight into a black hole.
(35:33):
I don't know where it goes, I don't know.
So I can fuck off somewhere else.
Send it with those Janko's. Straight with those janko's out.
Of here and the waist trainers. The waist trainers, but I think
really the root of this questionthat Maureen asked that I want
(35:53):
to address is for all of those women and it and it in past
versions it has been Kimberly. And.
Past versions it has been Tori for all of us.
Where is the message coming fromthat we are not valuable enough
as we stand today in this moment?
(36:15):
And for most of us, the messaging starts externally,
right? Nobody comes out of the womb.
And it was like, well, I'm goingto have to think about
maintaining a certain physique when I'm older.
That's the messaging that we receive.
And then we embody it and then we make it a part of our
identity. And so my question and also my
(36:35):
challenge to those people. And as Maureen is talking about
her peers that are also in their60s, these people who have
spent, if they're in their 60s, I'm going to guess they've spent
50 years at least being concerned about how their body
looks. Who are you if you're not
looking in the mirror? And if you're not looking in the
(36:56):
mirror, do you? Are you still valuable?
I think the answer is yes. I mean the answer.
It's not that you think it is. It is.
It is. You are still valuable no matter
what you look like. I mean, the invention of mirrors
really fucked it up for everybody.
Honestly. And then scales.
(37:17):
And then, well, and then scales,right.
But that's just part of the business.
That's part of the it's a tool that was created with the mask
of helping when really it's hindering.
And I mean, there's times where shit's important.
Like, you know, all of those tools are important, but then we
(37:38):
start to use them as like as ouridentity in our crutch.
And you know, if I don't have these things then I am lacking
somehow. Yeah, yeah.
Like those, like those things contribute to you having enough
control over your body, how you present that then you are
valuable enough as a human. And so I think my first truly to
(38:01):
those to those people, to those women and people of all genders
and all ages who are having, whoare experiencing that.
Is there somebody, is there a person in your life who is
giving you that message? Or is it just society, right.
And if it's society, it's a lot harder to tune it out.
And it's also easier because like you're not directly
attached to those people. You can stop looking at the
(38:23):
tabloids. You can stop looking at People
magazine. You can stop reading Us Weekly
and reading about all the fad diets and reading all of the
gossip magazines where they where they literally make money
by trashing celebrities for having weight fluctuation bodies
for being normal humans. Yeah.
But like, if there is a person in your life who is actually
(38:46):
delivering that message to you, whether it is an external person
or it exists in your own body, Iwould encourage you to have an
open dialogue and say, like, what is it that makes you
believe that my value is attached to the size of my body,
(39:06):
the size of the clothes that I wear, the way that I look in a
swimsuit, the way that I look onmy yoga mat?
Yeah. Because when you're on your
deathbed, respect the deathbed, respect the deathbed.
When you're when you're on your deathbed, does that matter?
(39:29):
Do you think you're going to look back at your whole life and
think, like, man, I'm really glad I spent so much of my life
stressing about making my body look a certain way.
And it's also a hard. But even now, even now, like
even now in my life, and I've only had what, 3, almost 4
(39:53):
decades? I mean that I, there have been
times where I mean, I look back and I'm like, man, I wish I had
not wasted or you look back at pictures.
I've that's I've noticed that I'll look back at pictures where
I like, didn't feel good. And I look back now Tori looks
back and I'm like, what the fuckwas I thinking?
Like I look great. Yeah, yeah.
(40:14):
She's a hottie with a body. I mean, let's talk about body
dysmorphia. Right.
And like and, but and I think that it all comes from this
multibillion dollar thing yeah and I don't even think it's
tabloids anymore because like who's really looking at those?
I mean, maybe the 60 year olds, but like social media is really
where it comes from, right And the the idea that this like AII
(40:37):
just had this experience IA few days ago where AI is now doing
like headshots. I've seen that yes.
And I but in the in this moment of talking to this person, they
literally said they're like theysaw a picture of the their real
(40:59):
self compared to their IAI headshot.
And they're like, oh, I don't like myself anymore.
Like literally said it out loud.And I was like, that is the
problem. That's a big problem.
Like I understand using like a tiny little like thumbnail,
right? So just you can't really see if
it what that is like for business, right?
Yeah, but but, but that's a that's a problem.
(41:22):
It's taking something that kind of looks like you and enhancing
all these features to whatever this standard is, whatever this
gold standard is. And therefore, I mean, there's
like kids going into doctors andbeing like, make me look like
this filter. So it makes me so sad and you
(41:42):
know, but that's no different than than the tabloids and and
and all that. But now it's readily available.
Yeah, and it's everywhere you look.
And it's also this like even thesubconscious shit out there
that's happening is is hard for like the younger, the younger
generations right where they don't even know that that's
(42:04):
necessarily a bad thing, But allof a sudden they're looking at
themselves and then be like, Oh well, why are my arms look like
that? Or why does my face not angular
like that? Yeah.
Right. Why don't I have a thigh gap?
Is thigh gap so hot? Are we still looking for thigh
gaps? I would say in some markets,
yes. Like even on my skinniest of
(42:24):
days, it's how your body's built.
Yeah, that's. Because you have like, it's
because you have blood in your veins and you have skin on your
bones and you have muscle and you have Cellulite.
But by the way, BT doves, everybody has Cellulite.
Everybody. You can't get rid of it.
You can just dehydrate. It Oh my God, did you always
(42:45):
going to be there? Do you ever have a fascia
blaster? Come on the.
Fascia Blaster. I definitely fought one 100% and
I sat in my shower with some like kind of I don't know, it
was not, I guess it was an oil, but some kind and just just
rubbed it on my. Thighs and did a blast your.
And I was black and blue, so that's cool.
(43:09):
That's like, what? A trade off, you know?
And did I have Stellulite still?Yeah, Yeah.
I mean. Yeah, because it's a part of our
structure. It's a part of our physiological
human structure. We all, every single one of us
on this planet has Cellulite. We all have it.
Some of it, some of us have morevisible Cellulite than others.
(43:33):
But like that's who you're that's that's your body.
And if that makes you less valuable of a human because your
Cellulite is more visible that there's no if, by the way, that
doesn't make you more valuable of a human to have less visible
Cellulite, no, does not increaseyour value.
It's not something I have a checklist for.
(43:53):
When I have friends, I'm like, show me your Cellulite.
I can see it get out of here. In fact, if you do, I want you
to sit at my table because, you know, I'm like, yeah, let's all
talk about it. Let's talk about how it's never
affected my life. No, you know, like in the in the
respecting of the deathbed, in the things that I've done in my
(44:14):
life and all the fun adventures I've gone on, my cellulite's
never stopped me. Of course not.
So like and look at how strong you are and all the things that
your body can do. Yes, aside from, by the way,
creating and building a human. Your body built a human twice. 2
times, yeah. A whole ass human, A whole ass
(44:37):
big babies you. You're not.
A big ass baby. Big old babies.
Come on. I mean, yeah, large.
Large and in charge. I've never though.
When I was pregnant, it was the sexiest I've ever felt.
I know that's rare, so I know I'm not.
There's not a lot of people sitting at that table with me,
(44:57):
but it is when I felt the sexiest.
There is something, I mean, I imagine partially it's hormones,
but there is something very likevery empowering about being
pregnant, especially I mean, and3rd trimester I feel like is
horrendous for the majority of us.
I was. My body was so in pain in 3rd
(45:18):
trimester, but I also felt so magical.
I felt so powerful. It depended on which one we're
talking about. First or second?
First I felt good. Yeah.
I was like, oh, we are crushing it.
Bam bam bam. Second one, everything happened
fast. And so by the time I got to my
third, I was third Friday Master.
I was like, all right, we could be done now.
(45:39):
We could be my joints. Oh yeah.
My I'm just my body. I had the worst pubic synthesis
dysfunction. Ouch.
Ouch. Pubic bone pain.
Don't recommend it to anyone, ever.
Never. I have a touch of it right now
'cause we did a hip thrust at the gym and they don't have
enough. They don't have.
They have one singular like cushion that goes around the bar
(46:02):
at my gym. Why they only have one?
Well, what's everyone else supposed to use?
Well, if you're me, you use yoursweatshirt because I was like,
which I'm sure the balance is soaccurate and so on point.
But yeah, the next day I woke upand I felt like somebody had
punched me right in the vagina. I was like, Ouch.
Fun, yeah. Cute.
I love it but my butt strung so.And.
(46:25):
Start off question mark. Your butt strong, which means
you have pelvic stability, whichmeans when you are in menopause
and post menopausal you're goingto be less likely to have hip
fractures and that's really important.
Oh, what a good day. Come on.
Come on. Come on future Tori High 5.
Come on, future Tori. I think what is what I felt was
(46:49):
most important to say is if you believe that your value is
connected to how you look and that message has been so deeply
ingrained in you because societyhas provided that message to you
since you came out of the womb, it is not too late.
It is never too late for you to be able to reframe your
(47:10):
perception of the world and yourperception of yourself.
And that is way easier said thandone.
Like I have only been exposed tothat messaging for 40 years of
my life. And I think it took me well into
my 30s to be able to like, really walk away from that
messaging after I'm, I think decades of trying and like
vacillating between like that messaging means nothing to me
(47:33):
and I am who I am and feeling like really powerful and
confident in who I was. And then, you know, like to the
man sticking it to the man, thatman can suck.
It. But then and then regressing and
then sliding back into like whatI hate to say comfortable
because it's not comfortable, but like what is?
What is comfortable because it'swhat is known.
(47:54):
Yeah. I've, I've vacillated I don't
even know how many times over recent decades.
So if you have been receiving that messaging now for 60 plus
years, it's going to be even harder because you've been
receiving that message for even longer.
And also at any given time you get to decide what your own
(48:15):
priorities are. Yeah, redefine.
You get to redefine. Yeah, it, I mean, yeah, it's
100% hard. It's deeply the deeply
ingrained, the well is deep. And so to climb out of the well
also when water keeps rushing in, you know, from the outside
world, yeah, it feels impossible.
(48:36):
But I definitely do. I mean, I agree it is something
the reprogramming of the brain is necessary if you want to live
a well, if you want to like lookback at your life and be like,
thank God I didn't waste time worrying about my Cellulite, you
know? Yeah, and being able to be
present. I mean, there's such a, there's
(48:58):
such like a shift that comes from not sitting down and
looking at your dinner plate andthinking about what every single
thing on that plate is going to do to your body.
There's something really freedompowering and really liberating
to just like sit down and enjoy a meal and be present with the
(49:18):
people that you're with. Yeah.
And put clothes on that make youfeel good and that feel
comfortable and that fit who youare instead of like a a thing
that you're trying to achieve toplease.
Who even knows who? I I don't know, who are we
(49:38):
trying to please? Yes, who are we trying to please
out there? And why isn't it yourself?
I mean, it should be yourself. Yeah, I don't know.
You're you're the. I mean, here's the thing.
You're good. You're good.
Wherever you are. Whoever you are, you're good.
You're valuable. You are a worthy human.
You belong here. You deserve to be here just as
(49:59):
much as everybody else. The way that your body presents
has nothing to do with that. We want you at our table.
We want you at our table. Come on, sit down.
And if somebody else doesn't want you at their table, they
can get fucked. Well, I mean, they just don't
deserve you. Yeah, period.
Yeah, and that's how you and that's how you weed out the
trash. The weeds take out the trash,
(50:21):
take out the trash. If they don't want you at their
table, you don't belong there. You don't want to be there.
No, because there are some really kick ass tables.
Yeah, find them, find them, findthem.
Let them find you. We get 30.
We're doing that. Energy's low, Energy's low.
(50:43):
Yeah, yeah, we tard. That was my message.
That was what I really wanted toget across after being after
raging for 30 minutes, I really just wanted to.
Say, I don't think you're raging, though I think you were
passionate, but because you alsosee you've been in the Wellness
industry for so long that you'vegotten to witness first hand how
(51:05):
negatively impactful it can be to the human psyche.
I mean it can be life altering. For people is life altering.
I mean, as somebody who has oscillated back and forth, just
like you were just saying, like I have come from not caring to
very much caring to over caring to going back to not caring.
And that can happen in a day. For me, that can happen like 10
(51:26):
times, like from moment to moment because the reprogramming
takes so long. So I think it's an OK thing to
put your body on a soapbox and and say, because you also have
the knowledge to back it up, right?
For me, I just like look at themand like it.
Look at myself and look at thosewho are also affected by it and
say it's just a sad, lonely place to be.
(51:49):
Like I have never felt so alone when in those moments and not
good enough and being like, why don't I look different when I'm
working so hard? And it's like, I can't this the
(52:09):
stuff that, that I, that I've wanted to change about myself
are it's you can't like I can't,I cannot make myself fucking
taller. She tried, you know, like I
can't change that. And so I'm going to like
embracing being a hippie lady, being a curvaceous babe.
I've always, I mean that, you know, when we were told back
(52:31):
when we were little to not have an ass?
Yeah. It's the one thing the
Kardashians have given us. Thanks, guys.
That butts. Are cool my butts not trending?
Thanks a lot, Kardashians. Scott, you just here's a great
point you just made. You can never win.
We never win. I just want my butt to be
trendy. Got to get.
(52:52):
Your pelvic pain by doing some. Hit crust because, I mean, so I
think it's fine that you're in asoapbox because we need to hear
it. And I think that's a little bit
of the reprogramming is putting yourself around people who have
reprogrammed themselves. Yeah, in the female space, like
(53:13):
finding people who know the other way to live instead of
putting yourself around. It's the social media feed.
If you're like, if you're seeingthe social medias that are like,
you can only look like this, youshould only look at this.
Put this waist trainer on. Drink this shitty.
Tea. That's literally going to make
you poop yourself. Like if you're seeing those
(53:34):
things, it is your job to figureout how to get them off of your
feed. You stop following those people,
you change the algorithm, or youput social media away. 5 million
silly cat videos until your algorithm changes, yeah.
I start we started watching withthe boys like funny animal
videos on Instagram and now that's all I.
(53:56):
See all day long. That and like female
empowerment, right? Yeah, you know.
So and it's a way better space. It's a way better space and I
have started to or like for the,for me, who wants to like learn
how to lift really heavy and puton more muscle before I turn 40.
I'm like, I have to find those women out there who are doing
(54:17):
that and like, how are they doing it in a healthy Safeway,
right? So we're not like injecting
things, even though like God bless, get out there and do it
if you want to. But like I'm not injecting like
Botox. I'm not talking about that, but
like the steroidy vibes, you know, but like, here's how you
(54:38):
eat to fuel your food because food is fuel.
Yeah, full stop. Yeah, full stop.
That was the biggest lesson I have taken away in the last five
years, that food is fuel, Not how much can that food can I
take away to make myself smaller, which I I did that for
about a decade too. But like, you know, it was like,
oh, if I want to if I want to build muscle, I have to eat
(55:02):
things. Yeah, you have to support that
goal. Your.
Vehicle. Yeah.
And yes, your car's not going todrive if your tanks aren't
empty. Somebody said that about sweets
and kids. Shout out to my friend Kirsten,
who used this analogy of like, like we call him Kachau.
(55:22):
Yeah. Lightning McQueen.
I love that you got that dog. Good chow.
We say that. In the chow all the time.
Good chow, Good chow. And so she was like, listen, if
you're, you know, Kuchao was outthere trying to like run that
race. He can't just have the good, you
know, the the sweet gasoline. He's got to have the good fuel
that's going to make him go fast.
Just talking, trying to talk to your kids about balance of like
(55:44):
not bad food and good food, right, Which is also a whole
nother topic that I've that's one that's deeply ingrained of
like, Oh yeah, that's bad and that's good and it's like, no,
no, no, they're not good they'renot bad it's just different kind
of fuel yeah they. Exist and they serve different
purposes for your body, and yourbody has more needs from some
(56:08):
food groups than others. Because it's a good fuel.
That's what's going to make you like, run your race, right?
Your race of life. Right.
Actually run it, babe. And so, yeah, I just think it's
it's I think the soap boxes are needed.
And you find the people who you don't mind, listen to scream
(56:28):
from their soap box, get ragey and get ragey.
And it's OK to get ragey and then take a breath like you did.
And you came back and you're like, I didn't need to be ragey.
But the but the message is important.
Yeah. So I think it's fine.
Great. And I'm gonna, yeah, it's, it's
balanced, right? It's all about the balance.
(56:49):
I'm going to be ragey. I'm going to be on my soapbox.
And I'm also going to tell you, hey, babe, you're enough.
And if you have somebody in yourlife that's telling you you're
not enough, then I'm then I'm going to direct my rage toward
them and they can get fucked. On that note.
And if you want to go out and get Botox and breast implants
and a nose job and do all the things, that's your prerogative.
(57:10):
That's your choice. There's that's not my place to
decide either way, right? But it's like that's a decision
that you have to make for yourself.
Yeah. Who's telling you?
Is it you or somebody else? Yeah, that's what matters.
Yeah. Because I know.
I mean, lots of women who have done all of those things.
Yeah. And some.
I mean, I had a reduction. I didn't get my boobs augmented
(57:31):
outwards and had them cut from my body.
But but best decision I've ever.Best decision of my entire life.
Oh yeah, I would do it 17 more times.
I believe it just structurally, how much better do you feel?
Oh my God, Oh my God, how much better can I breathe?
My asthma like got so much better because I didn't have
weight. 10 lbs. Like Oh my gosh, do we even have
(57:52):
time for that story? Do it.
So to get insurance to cover my breast reduction, my mom had
one, my grandmother had one. So I was like, and in 4th grade
I was like AC. In 4th grade.
Yeah, baby. Tori, Yeah, baby Tori, it was
huge. Yeah, she had, she had a rack
for days. And I would like wear polos like
(58:12):
'cause when I was at a school where we had to wear uniforms,
Catholic school it wasn't, but we were up until like 5th grade,
you had to wear a uniform this school.
Doesn't even exist. Anymore.
In the 90s had Catholic. It was uniforms but we were not
Catholic. There was no religion to the
school that I was aware of. And then during 6th, 7th and 8th
(58:33):
you could wear what you express yourself.
But so 4th grade when I got huge, I was the only girl that
had actual bra and I wore polos to try to hide it, which made me
just feel even bigger because like boy polos.
And then I mean, I spent a good,no, I spent all of my life up
(58:56):
until I had them cut off hiding under big shirts.
And but I mean, the best decision of my life.
What was I even going to say? Hold on, I've lost it.
We're talking about breast reduction.
Oh yes. So to get it, to get it covered
by insurance, 'cause I was like 21 when I got this done.
(59:19):
As such, I was already still a baby.
But it was necessary, especiallyfor theatre.
I couldn't dance the way I wanted to dance.
Singing was hard. I'm hard.
And you know, I mean like, you can't even, you just have like.
Kardiosis forever. You can't even like you can't
even like you. Can't even like you can't even
like you can't. Even like you can't.
Even like you can't even, like you can't even like you can't
even like, I was pretty serious.So I went into my so I got a
chiropractor, you know, a note from my chiropractor.
(59:40):
But I was like, let's double down.
I went to my asthma specialist who had I, I'd had, he had been
my doctor since I was 2, is thiscute little Asian man.
And I went in and did all the normal tests and then we did
them again and I lifted my tits off of my chest.
So that was a weight bearing anddid them again.
(01:00:01):
And every single test got better.
And so he was like, Yep, here you go.
And so I got a for the most part.
I still would pay, you know, a little bit, but not anything
compared to what it would have been.
So, you know, I believe that. There's some good things that
plastic surgery. Can do for you, yeah, You know.
Yes, yes. And, and that was the best
(01:00:23):
decision of my life. I would do it again.
I have a deviated septum I'm going to have to end up getting
my nose worked on at a certain point and like maybe I'll change
the shape of it, I don't know. And if I do that it will 100% be
purely for vanity. But also like, am I?
This is like a whole new tangent.
I don't even want to go on. I don't want to no, never mind.
(01:00:44):
Stop it. You don't get to know.
You don't get I'm giving. It to myself.
You have to keep listening to our podcast because we got some
stuff to talk about. God damn it anyway.
That's our problem. We just keep going.
We just keep going. We'll have to listen to the
other one and put it. Yeah, we'll figure out how to
because. Otherwise, it's an hour and a
half now. Yeah, OK, well, guess what?
(01:01:07):
You're enough. You're never too much.
You're always enough. Yep.
And that person, if there's a person or people in your life
who are telling you otherwise, punch him right in the throat
straight. Just throat punch.
Get him out. We're not condoning no, but
metaphorically punch. Them in the.
(01:01:32):
Throat. Tori and Kimberly told me to do
it. So yeah, please don't do that.
I mean. No.
OK, fine. Fine, but I guess we're done
here, so. See you next.
Tuesday. Bye.
(01:01:54):
That's what a Hills and Valleys episode that was.
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