Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Come on. No.
Well, I was going to. Hear the noise?
That was like a so many different Come on babe, why
don't you? That's what I was going with,
but I. Also, would have none of the
words. You get it.
Your mom's silly, huh? She's a silly lady.
Oh crap. So do you like to sing with your
mom? No Got the honesty of children
(00:24):
blessed. Honesty of children.
Come on, baby. Why don't we paint the town?
Are you in there? I don't know.
Oh. I love that he didn't even have
to think about it. I asked him and he immediately
was like no. I don't do that.
(00:48):
Next I have to. Eat my microphone today.
It's funny. Well.
Can I have it for breakfast? I had that question because
hilarious I are we recording yeah, I had that thought because
I when I listen to it now I don't do what Nick says sorry
Nick, where I'm supposed to download it Oh yeah to listen to
(01:10):
it yeah I just raw dog it hard yeah, I just push play because
otherwise if I download it I'm like where is it downloading to
I don't know I don't know like it's.
It's the universe like. I didn't get.
Is your mom funny? She's still waiting.
But anytime I listen to him, I'mlike, man, I sound just right
(01:31):
there. Yeah.
And then you sound like you're out here.
But I was like, you have the girthy mic.
Why is that so? Girthy.
It's probably because you're listening to it in Google or
whatever like rather than downloading it 'cause when you
download it, that's when the audio equalizes.
I mean, I don't care so much because when you listen to it,
fix it. Fix it.
(01:53):
Nick's name? Nix it.
Fix it. Mix it, fix it.
Because when you listen to it onSpotify, it sounds great, yeah.
No, I assume it's going to always sound great because
Nick's going to fix it, so thank.
You nick the fixer. Nick the fixer.
Nix it. Fix it, Mr. Nix it.
Fix it. So Chapel is next Tuesday?
(02:16):
Yes. Coming up, Number six is Chapel
Rowan. Yeah, that's not the one.
What is French? And time.
Come on, fingers. Why don't we paint the towel?
Oh shit. That is the one, though.
Before Mother's Day. Mother's Day.
So I don't think we can do that.Yeah, we could do.
(02:37):
Post yeah Post follow up Sure I.Don't know what are you hoping
or we'll do it next year. We'll catch that one next time.
We'll get it next time, you know.
What are you? What were you hoping to talk
about? Oh, nothing in particular other
than. Mother's Day is special, and we
are mothers and we are special. What inspired me is I saw one of
(02:57):
those fit fluencers that I followed by love.
She's like, I don't want flowers, she started.
She started by saying. Yeah, but.
She started by saying she's likethis and a picture popped up of
this is how big an epidural needle is.
And then next was this is the incision that happens to
C-section moms. I don't want flowers like I
(03:21):
don't want, I don't want flowers.
I want, you know, XY and ZI wanttime.
I want to feel like I'm at a spa.
I want to feel celebrated because these are the these are
the things God bless that I'm going through.
But I feel like a lot of people expect their partner to come up
with it for them. Yeah, don't do that.
(03:42):
Well, And that's my, that's my, I think my biggest, my biggest
thing is, I mean, is this even real, this conversation?
Yeah, yeah. Is there anything?
We'll figure it out. I I see so many moms get so sad
after Mother's Day because they weren't celebrated in the way
they actually wanted to be. And I was like, but also your
partner, whoever they might be, are not.
(04:02):
And your children are not mind readers.
Well, not only that, but like, Ifeel like culturally we're told
to give mom a card and some flowers and some chocolates,
right? Like, like Mother's Day is like.
I like those, but like, sure, give me that.
Give me that on a Tuesday. Yeah, that's not like.
You're still alive. Celebrate me.
Yeah. Give me yeah, give me flowers on
a Tuesday. Don't give me flowers for a
(04:24):
special occasion because it's a special occasion.
It's a monumentous occasion. It is celebrating the most
incredible thing your body can do.
And like, sorry dads, but. Well, what do you do here?
Yeah. At some point, I'll tell that
story of my monologue that I gave my husband after I gave
birth for the first time. It was a it's a, it's a treat.
(04:46):
Well, we'll have to put a pin init.
OK. All right.
But other other than that, I'm like, what do you do here, you
know? But anyway, I think a lot of
women get really sad because they don't, they don't just ask
for what they want. Yeah.
Like, here are the things and what I'll tell Pat is I'll be
like, here are the things that Iwant.
I want time. I want to move my body in a way
(05:06):
that feels good, which is on me.But like, I want time created
for that. I want to, I want time away.
I want time with. And that's usually it.
Yeah. I'm a Libra, so I want equal
parts time away and time with. I'm the same way though.
(05:28):
I want to celebrate with and then I want to be by myself.
Yeah, I'm. To do something for myself,
something to refuel myself. Yeah, which looks different on
everybody, right? Because like that could be, I
mean, I love cleaning my house and I would love a house not
because that's not what I want to do on Mother's Day, but like,
but like that does really fill, fill up my cup.
(05:49):
It's like get out of my way and I'm a clean it.
She's going to go hard. I'm.
Going to go hard. Sawyer, you can move that chair,
bud. You can just scooch it.
Why I moved it back? I had moved it.
Oh. So he wouldn't fall.
So he wouldn't fall anyway. OK.
Yeah. Yeah.
Same. I and I don't.
(06:10):
I mean, here's what I actually want for Mother's Day.
No gender wage gap, you know, equity in health research.
I don't know, like just general health research on female
bodies, but because I can't havethose things.
Oh, like actual healthcare access for all female bodies?
(06:31):
Yeah. Universal abortion on demand
without reason. But because we can't have those
things today, because my husbandcan't give me those things, I'll
settle for, like, yet. I'll settle for like a spa day.
I'll go to the spa if I can't. If I can't have Asher's Martian,
if I'll get an ash Bush Martian,I'll go to the spa too.
(06:53):
If I can't have. My.
But for real, if I if my body can't be cared for by our
medical system, then I guess youknow the spa.
The Naked Spa. Yeah, Naked Spa is typically my
I don't go on Mother's Day, but like, I bet it's bananas.
It's bananas on Mother. 'S day.
That's like, Pat tried to golf on Father's Day, you know?
And he was like, that's the worst idea ever.
(07:13):
Yeah, he's like everybody tryingto do that.
And it was like everything took 700 years and it was awful.
So I can imagine that the spas are pretty heavy.
Those all those fathers have to celebrate donating their sperm.
Yes, hard work. Who are you pointing at?
OK, nothing anyway. But I think that also is
(07:34):
outside, even outside of Mother's Day, your birthdays,
your any day that you're like being celebrating yourself, like
just ask for what you want. Yeah, I'm like, very.
I get real uppity about people being like, I didn't get what I
want. I was like, did you ask or are
you expecting people to read your mind?
Yes. And take away all the decisions.
(07:55):
That's a big gift. Like, I don't want to decide
anything. Yeah, that would be a huge gift
for a lot of people. Like, take away the mental load
for a day. A day.
And I understand the like desireto be celebrated by your
partner, right? Yes, of course you want to be
celebrated by your partner and you want them to do something
that is like thoughtful and their idea, yes.
But that's why I have an open I,I leave it open-ended.
(08:16):
Yeah, right. I'm like, I don't care what kind
of surprise I get, but give me asurprise.
Yeah, do something to celebrate.I mean that, that you, that is
your representation, celebratingme.
I want no time. Expectations So I don't want you
to be like dinner's at 5. I'd be like, no, I'll show up
when I show up when I. Feel.
Like, but yes, I would love to show up and there'd be dinner.
Yeah, so figure that out. There's no way to have it ready.
(08:39):
Good luck. Yeah.
So I mean, what this is really proving is Pat's doing the
Lord's work. Bless him, bless him, bless him
anyway. Anyway, cap on that.
Hey mothers. Yay mothers, yay.
Mothers. Yay, mothers.
Hell yeah. You're doing the hard ass work.
We're doing great, yes. Babe, not for a while.
(09:01):
So play you. That's why you have lots of
toys, babe. I'm sorry.
That's what we're doing right now.
Do you? Want to go hang out with Nick
while he works? Oh yeah, you wanna go hang out
with the dog? OK.
Oh my God, I got it. OK, ready.
(09:21):
OK. Do you need anything before we
start? All right, buckle up, baby.
Hi, guys. I'm Tori.
I'm Kimberly. And welcome to.
It's nothing. It's everything.
The only podcast where we pretend to know what we're
talking about and somehow you keep listening.
And thank you for that. God bless.
Before we dive in today's chaos,do us a solid follow.
(09:42):
Like, subscribe, smash all the buttons.
Tell your friends if you've gotten even a chuckle out of
listening to us. Please, please, please, Cher.
Please and thank you. Please and thank you, you're the
best. Let's dive in.
Let's do it. Hi.
Hello. We're here.
On a. Beautiful Friday, a beautiful
day. Yeah.
It's like hot in Seattle, which is, I mean, so welcome.
(10:06):
It's glorious. So past to do.
Yeah. Yeah.
How's. Your day Oh you know my day has
been actually OK. It was chaos because we went
from 2 cars to 1 car and figuring that out in the
morning, chaos of schools and no, yeah, no, was chaos
(10:27):
inducing. But we figured it out.
And if you hear a little person in the background, listeners,
it's because our mascot Sawyer is here.
Come on, Soybean. Come on, Soybean, you're going
to be with us till the end. You.
Better believe that. Yeah, so there's that.
But today we're just going to, Ithink, how are you?
(10:50):
That's what I meant to say. That's what I.
Meant to say I'm here, I'm. Here and and what are your
insides feel like? What a great question.
My brain is mush. This has been a.
Week this. Has been, there has been a lot
happening this week, a lot of like high stakes things have
happened this week at work, at home, Just I just am like ready
(11:15):
for a weekend and I would like to sleep all day every day, but
I would also like to be outside all day every day.
And I also like to be moving my body.
So until we can figure out how to sleep whilst moving our
bodies, I guess I'm going to have to compromise somewhere.
Yeah. But I did want to share.
(11:35):
Yeah. OK.
So Roslyn, my older daughter, she's freshman in high school,
Roslyn is in geometry this year.And she nightmare.
Yeah, 100% geometry is also where I broke down, like, loved
algebra. And Roslyn's the same way.
She loved algebra and got to geometry and she was just like,
(11:56):
till a nightmare brain malfunction, like cannot, will
not, cannot. And that's exactly how I was,
too, which is great because whenshe had algebra homework, I was
like, yeah, I can sort of mostlyremember some of this stuff.
I mean, luckily Nick still remembers all of it.
So Nick, I don't know how so he can help her with her geometry,
the homework, but I'm like don't.
Look the second I see a small 2 or an X.
I'm out. Is there a number above the
(12:17):
numbers? No.
Why is it so small? Yeah, no.
And they're doing like, like sign and tan and remember all
that. No, I don't.
Are you kidding? Why?
Why would I take up my brain space?
I didn't even take up my brain space back then with that.
Proofs. I literally.
Anyway, I have a good story for what we're about to talk about.
So anyway, so she's struggling in geometry.
(12:38):
She was a straight A student until geometry.
She got her first B. It was very upsetting.
And I'm like, I know. And I'm like, listen, you're
not, I don't expect you to be a perfect child in all of your
classes. I will never enforce that
straight A's give you more valueas a human than not.
Straight A's also like colleges like to see growth.
(12:59):
It is. You are still as valuable if you
have 1B. It's AB.
It's AB. It's very passing.
But because her school breaks down, they have high honor roll
and then honor roll and honor roll is like 3.7 to 3.9 and high
honor roll is 3.9 to 4.0. They don't do extra credits, so
you can never get above 4.0. But she's always been high honor
(13:21):
roll. They might call it something
else. I might be confusing about
something else. But either way, they have two
honor rolls. Yeah.
So she's always been a higher honor roll, but now she's the
lower honor roll. And so she, like, had a moment
of having feelings about that. But anyway, so she had this
geometry test, and she came homefeeling very big feelings about
(13:41):
it. She did horribly.
She knows. She knew she did horribly.
She was like, it's it's going toremember everything.
I'm going to fail math. I'm going to have to, you know,
just like full. Yeah, like spiral.
She went to the full spiral. And then that day, I mean, this
is sent literally at the end of the school day.
It's 2:53 PM when he sent this. Her geometry teacher sent her
this e-mail. Hello, Roslyn.
(14:03):
I'm sorry you had a tough assessment today.
Don't let it get you down. It just means you haven't
learned it yet. I believe in you.
I loved the way you kept making progress after I challenged you
to do a little more. That was awesome.
And then he says, have a great break.
Plenty of. Rest yes, yes.
Because I'm like, never did I ever have a teacher like this.
(14:25):
No. Well, does it go on?
No, I mean it just then he says but goodbye, but it's just like
the whole like he it's like so simple.
I'm sorry it was hard. Don't want to get you down.
I believe in you. I also love how he was like it
just means you haven't learned it yet.
There's still time. There's still time.
(14:46):
There's still room. I believe in you.
You're a freshman. Come on, just like and and once
she received that e-mail, her whole demeanor changed.
And then when she went back and did the retake, she did
significantly better, of course,but she also just gets like like
she. Gets.
I mean I'm I'm scorch earth whenI get super whelmed.
Brain foggy when she has anxiety, when she feels like
(15:09):
she's not prepared. And so she sat down for that
test and just was like, I don't know anything.
And she would ask him for help and he'd be like, well, I'm not
going to give you help, but let me ask you a question to just
like get her brain moving in theright direction.
And then after doing that a few times, you know, then she left
feeling super discouraged. And then he sent that e-mail.
And I just was like, man, what? First of all, thank you.
(15:31):
Thank you, Mr. Culbertson, for being a supporter of children,
for being a true teacher. That is teaching.
That is truly teaching. That's what that's outside of
the math class, teaching them tobe good, beautiful human beings.
And she has had yes. And and this is like the first
class where she's had a lot of anxiety because she just is not
(15:53):
naturally good at it. And so she she has at certain
points thought that she wasn't gonna get through the year that
she was gonna have to, you know,retake it again.
And so like for her in that environment to have the teacher
in that environment give her that much positive reinforcement
and the fact that he just like felt like sending that e-mail.
(16:14):
Yeah, you didn't have to. Just out of the blue, Yeah.
I mean that if I had had that support, if I had had that kind
of support, I don't, I don't know that I ever had a teacher
that was like that. I had teachers that were like
complimentary and supportive. But when I struggled, I don't
know that I ever had a teacher that took that kind of approach
(16:34):
or just blatantly says I believein you.
Yeah, I I did have a few, which was amazing and and it was in
the I did not do well surprise in math and science just not how
my brain works. I just didn't get it.
And she's like didn't. And because I wasn't good at it
(16:57):
right away, I was like, screw it, not meant for it.
But I did have a math teacher who would take extra time with
me and like had me come in just like for one on ones.
Like created space for me to come in on one on ones.
This is before e-mail, you know,we didn't have an e-mail in high
school. Are you kidding?
(17:18):
You didn't have a Juno account? No, I don't even know what that
is. Juno, Alaska.
What? Juno.com I had it.
My e-mail account was. That was like before AOL.
Oh no, I had none of that. No, I didn't even have like an
AOL. I don't know what year I was in
high school, but I don't remember which.
And then I had a science teacherwho I had horrible test anxiety.
(17:39):
And so she said, do you think that you'd be able to talk
through it? I was like, yeah, I can talk
through it. Hello.
And so she said, great, then I want you to come in and you and
I will talk through this test and like, we'll verbalize it.
Brilliant. Yeah.
Which was like brilliant. Yeah.
Which Treelore call out. She was so excellent.
(18:04):
I also needed, I also needed people to realize like I needed
to be seen like him saying that to her, be like, I see you and
all that. I was like, I just need somebody
to like push me at a English teacher who was like, I wouldn't
raise my hand because I didn't want to sound dumb.
And so she would call me and I hated it.
(18:27):
And she's like, because I know you know the I know you know it.
I know that, you know it. And like, because I was so
introverted, I didn't even like try.
It was for the honors English like, yeah, you know, and I was
in, I was in that class. I was, you know, smart enough to
get in that class, talented enough to get in the class.
But I never wanted to like, really try.
(18:49):
And she was like, I'm going to push you.
I'm going to call on you. We're going to get you over the
hump of like I'm fearful to be heard out loud and Gen.
Dotsy call out. And look at you now.
And now I talk all the time. Yeah, she was, she was
excellent. And like, but seeing the kid,
(19:11):
seeing where they could grow, but nobody else is necessarily
pushing them in that way. And so taking that upon
themselves to like, see the kid and help them in that way is,
yeah, those are like life. Changing guardians along the
way. Yeah.
Well, and for Roslyn too, like she wants to be, she wants to
work in architectural engineering.
(19:34):
And so like math, you know, you got to, you got to have the
maths. And so when she was struggling,
she was like, maybe I'm just not.
Maybe I have to change my whole career path.
Maybe I obviously like she's a freshman, there's time for that
to change anyway. But it was just like for her, it
meant something different for the rest of her life if she
couldn't get through this class remember when?
The stakes were that high, yes. Like the stakes were high, yes.
(19:56):
Because you just have no like outside.
The stakes are that. High because that's all that you
have been exposed to. Yeah.
And that's all that everyone talks about, right?
So she's like, you know, all of her peers are talking about what
they want to do and where they want to go to school.
And so it's just like this, thisconstant conversation in her
social groups and just at schoolin general.
And so just the pressure that she felt from performing poorly
(20:19):
on this one test was it was justlike so much bigger than that
for her. And man, I, it's so amazing to
me. What, how do I say this?
It's just so amazing to me. Like the way that you approach
someone struggling, the impact that it can have based on how
(20:41):
you approach it, right. If if he had taken a punitive
approach and just been like, well, you did poorly and so you
failed. To study harder.
Yeah. So you didn't work hard enough,
which was definitely like, I feel like a lot of my teachers
when I was a kid came with that mindset.
Well, you didn't work hard enough.
You didn't prepare yourself hardenough, rather than the reality
which is that like, we are not all meant to be good at all
(21:01):
things. No, no.
Otherwise, what we were the appreciation, beware, the
gratitude be yeah. And also like, we learn.
We'd all be Superman the way. Exactly.
And the way that we learn in school is like we learn one
learning style for most things, which helps 1 certain kind of
person, but not all people. And so like to have that, to
(21:25):
have to be singled out in that way with that kind of support
and to be able to say, like, I see you're struggling, I believe
in you. I know you can do it when she's
not believing in herself. That would have been a game
changer for me. Yeah, same.
Yeah, same. It's that, it's that.
It's a call. You're right.
It's a call. It's the English class.
Like her saying I see you and I know you are.
I know your capability. I'll believe it until you
(21:48):
believe it. Yeah.
I was just like, oh, maybe I am good at it.
Yeah, that actually reminds me. I had a math teacher in middle
school that was like that. Mister Bright, Mr. Bright, he
was amazing. And he moved me up early, moved
me up into pre algebra and then algebra early.
And I really struggled when he moved me up.
(22:08):
And so then he was they, I thinkI moved up and then back and
then up again. I don't know, it's all very
fuzzy, but he was one of those teachers that was like, I will,
I will stay after with you. I will work with you.
I can see that you have it. And so then I built a lot of
confidence. Then I went to high school, I
went into algebra and I was like, Oh my God, this is so
amazing. I love algebra so much.
And then I went into geometry and it ruined math for me, just
completely ruined math for me. And I had a teacher that was
(22:29):
very much, she was just, like, super dismissive.
And any time I didn't understandanything or any time I didn't
understand something, she would be like, go, you know, go find a
classmate to help you. Like, she just did not assume
personal responsibility for helping her kids on their way.
And I'm pretty sure that was thelast math class I ever took.
I'm pretty sure after that I waslike, yeah, I'm just not doing
(22:50):
this anymore because I felt likeI had lost so much of my
knowledge that it was impossiblefor me to move on.
Yeah, I it's funny. That's funny because the English
teacher, the amazing one, Zazzy,she was yeah, changed changed it
for me. And then the teacher after who
was like the higher, you know, he was the why can't I remember?
(23:14):
It's like block class, but it wasn't block class anyway, The
he was he played favorites a lot.
And as I have a justice issue with that and I was like screw
you pal. Yeah, like.
I was like, I know I'm not your favorite.
And then he would call me Victoria and try to embarrass me
(23:38):
like, you know, and I was just like, I am doing my freaking
best friend. So like, and now I hate English.
Yeah. I need you to be careful with
this, OK? Love you.
Just be careful of this. God bless you.
And also like why I have AI havea real problem with those
teachers that want to make kids feel.
He made himself. Everyone adored him.
(24:00):
Everyone adored him. My boyfriend at the time adored
him. I didn't.
I had a science teacher like that freshman year.
He was actually my first detention in high school.
Oh. It was one of those like we
also, we butted heads a lot because, you know, I'm stubborn
and I'm like, don't try to make me look like an idiot because
then I'll make you look like an.Idiot.
(24:21):
Yeah, so. We were doing like a classroom,
like out reading out loud and it's like everyone gets one
paragraph and. Oh my God, did you ever like
read ahead? You're like 123412.
Yeah, OK. To know what I was going to read
practice, but I but also I wouldbe like slow readers.
So I would just read ahead and then I was either like so weird
(24:43):
trying to talk to the person next to me, or maybe I was like
passing a note or something. I did something and he tried to
call me out to make me look dumb.
He was like, Kimberly, what's the next sentence?
And I just said it out loud because I had already read
ahead. So I knew it was coming back.
And so I said it. And then he got mad that I said
it. And there was God, what did he
(25:04):
say? He was like, like he got all
flustered because, you know, he was hoping to like put me on the
spot. And then I told him exactly what
he was asking me. I don't remember what he said,
but I know that I had like some kind of smart ass comment like
you what you asked me and I answered your question like,
what do you want? And so I got detention for
insubordination. That tracks for you though.
(25:27):
Tracks for me 100%. If I could get adult detention
it would also probably be for insubordination.
Yeah, I mean. People don't like to feel dumb.
Sorry about it. Sorry about it.
Yeah. And also like the man, he he
also had such an ego. And then he.
Got schooled by a he got little girl by a freshman.
(25:48):
I'm a freshman girl. Yeah.
I mean, but here's The thing is that teachers, my mom was a
teacher for, you know, almost 40years and like, they truly are
the backbone of America. Yeah, I'll say it like they, I
mean, they are so underappreciated.
And I'm like, you know, it's crazy because it's like, did we
(26:08):
not learn anything in COVID whenwe were all trapped with our
kids and we had to try to teach them?
Yeah, it. So how did we not?
Yeah, it was horrible. I didn't even have kids who were
school age and I was like, I don't know, horrible.
I guess we could work on ABC's Yeah 123.
Let me get on my blackboard. What do you I don't know and
which my mom did in COVID we hadgosh, how old was Finn?
(26:30):
Finn was like 4. Oh, he's seven.
Yeah. Thank you.
Sawyer. He's 7 now.
Yeah, but he. But she started like a little
kindergarten essentially so thatit would have something for us
to do, but also like, keep them engaged.
Brilliant. Which is brilliant.
But even that was like so much. Yeah.
And but yeah, I was like, how have we not paid them more?
(26:53):
How are we not paying them more?Like how are we not appreciating
them more? Capitalism.
Yeah, yeah. Because we have so much burnout,
yeah. It's so much burnout.
Because it's so much. It's so bad, so much and they're
there's so much responsibility put on them and like half
depending on where you teach andespecially in public schools,
like teachers are also counselors in safe spaces and
(27:17):
they're like looking out for kids with mental health, yeah,
mental health needs or like Rocky home lives and like, man.
The stuff they see is incredible.
Yeah. So anyway, to the teachers out
there, we see you. We salute you.
Yeah, you deserve so much more. I'll be better at my teacher
appreciation gifts. Oh yeah, that's a really good .0
(27:41):
God. Yeah, which is coming up
everybody. So you know.
Yeah, good. Good call, Good call.
Don't just give them mugs. I don't know.
Or an apple. Or an apple.
I think too, like the thing thatI the thing that why that e-mail
from Mr. Culbertson was so impactful for me is because
watching Roslyn's anxiety spiralabout it.
And then like what it was going to mean for the rest of her life
(28:03):
if she couldn't figure out geometry, just being able to
like see how one simple communication completely changed
her perception of her struggles.Because then to her, it was
like, yes, she's struggling and she can do hard things, rather
than like, she's struggling and she's stupid and she's never
(28:25):
going to get it, which becomes the internal monologue, right?
Which we are all guilty of. Even as adults, we try.
We don't get it right away. And especially as adults,
because we're so used to, like, knowing how to do things.
Yeah, trying new things is superscary.
It's super scary, and you forgethow you internalize things.
Yeah. I mean, that was part of this
teacher training round, is remembering watching adults
(28:48):
remember how to learn. Yeah, and when they weren't good
at it or they got scared becausethey weren't good at it yet, it
can spike so many things. You know, it wasn't just like
embarrassment. It was like there were tears,
there were rage, there were, there was self deprecating,
constant self deprecating, right.
(29:08):
Or self apologizing all the time.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.Like there was so much.
And as a facilitator, you have to be ready for that.
Otherwise it would feel just like pure chaos, like, you know,
so that, but and then once you remember, you're like, oh,
right, everything's new. Yeah, like everything is new,
right? We're just not in an environment
(29:30):
where we're learning new things all day every day anymore, so it
suddenly becomes like personal if we're not good at.
Something yes, I will say the other thing that that would ease
my mom heart if I got an e-mail from a teacher like that for one
of my kids is like knowing that the village is larger than I see
(29:50):
100% right. And it's like I the fact that,
you know, Roslyn has teachers inher life that are like that and
like looking out for her. It would my mom anxiety goes
down because I'm just like, oh, thank God.
I and oh, right. I'm not the only person in their
life. That's like molding them as a
(30:10):
human being, which is also scarybecause there are people who
are, you know, trash bags. Yeah, they're or also in their.
Lives, but also they have to build resilience and learn hard
lessons. But also they have to learn how
to learn that. Right.
Yeah. Because like, yeah, I remember
the conversation you and I, you and I had about Finn on the
playground, like when he was a little bit younger.
(30:33):
And he was, you know, he's quirky and he has such a huge
imagination that, like, pulling it down or like letting people
in is really hard, right? Like, we're not on that same
journey as you, bud. Like I don't know what this
world looks like I want to be part of.
It I'm not in your head. But other 6 year olds, 7 year
olds are going to probably be Dicks about it on the playground
and they might not. And I remember watching him try
(30:55):
to fit in with these new people.We were just at a random park
and they were like, you know, not not playing along with his
story. And essentially it, it looked
like they weren't letting him play.
And of course, my mom heart wentfull monster.
And I was like, I'm gonna kill those kids.
(31:16):
I wouldn't actually kill anybody.
But I I was like, how do you with those special snowflake
kids who have big imaginations who might be looked at as
unique? Like, how do you help them
through that? And your advice was different
than I thought it was going to be.
You were you were just like, youwere just like, he's going to
(31:37):
have to figure it out. He's going to probably have to
be sad that not everybody wants to play with him.
And he has to learn how to deal with it.
And and like, let him know that it's OK that if if they don't
vibe with you either, if you don't vibe with them, it's OK to
walk away. Yeah.
And everyone's supposed to be your friends.
That's exactly right. Yeah.
And I just remember that was a alesson for me in resilience, in
(31:59):
teaching them resilience. Yeah, I mean, Roslyn was very
similar. She was, she was kind of the
weird. Kid, I mean, that's why I came
to you, because I was like, I know your kids and I know
they're special, beautiful, special snowflakes who have huge
imaginations, huge, huge brains.Huge brains.
Yeah, and she was always so content to play by herself.
Yeah. So she didn't know how to, like,
engage with other kids on the playground.
(32:19):
And then when other kids would try to engage with her, she
would just like, stare at them. Full blue screen, Yeah, you'd be
like. Do you want, but I was a
helicopter mom in the beginning.I was like, I'm going to manage
all these social interactions. And then I was like, this is
doing her a huge disservice. She has to figure out how to be
her own person. And also like she has to figure
out what she likes and what she doesn't like and what she and,
(32:40):
and does she want to play or does she not want to play?
And, and whatever the outcome is, she has to voice that for
herself. She can say yes, she can say no,
but it has to come from her, notfrom me.
Yeah, so hard though. It's so hard.
It's so hard to like be hands off, man.
And I will say after and it started to go a little bit
better in that that situation, but there were some big kids.
(33:02):
There was like, I don't know, hehad to be probably 10 or 11.
I don't know. Kids are huge nowadays.
Feels like went to a high schoolbaseball game the other day and
I was like, why is that? A 35 year old out on the center
field, 100%. But but this, I don't know now
he had to be 9. No, there's an older kid and
then a slightly younger kid. And the younger kid looked at
(33:22):
and Finn was wearing a yellow Power Ranger shirt.
He's like, let's beat up the yellow Power Ranger.
And I stepped in front of that kid.
So fast and I was like. Say it to my face.
I was like, are you kidding me? And the older friend was like,
no, no, he's just kidding. And I was like, yeah, OK.
Pretty sure you are. I was like.
You're my size, but I could takeyou friend.
I was I was like, let's beat up the yellow powder truck.
(33:48):
I was so mad. The.
Mom raged. I was and then I had to check
myself. I took a deep breath and I said
let's just use our kind words and not threaten people, shall
we? Good for you.
Namaste. Away from my kid like so.
It was so ragey. I was so ragey.
Yeah, cuz somebody was threatening your and also like
big the whole big kids praying on little kids like I just no.
(34:09):
I mean, the older kid saw me andhe was like, he was like, oh,
and like went full white as a ghost.
Like he was like Oh yeah, save, save my friend.
He's about to get beat up by a mom.
Listen, there are those moments,though.
I remember we were at the trampoline park and there was
this kid. I was like halfway across the,
you know, warehouse, whatever. You call it.
And there was this kid on the trampoline next to dot who was
(34:30):
just like, like, hammer fisting her on the head over and over
again, like full force. And I was like, from across,
like, I was so far away. And I just like full voice.
I was like, hey, I scared so many.
People never but. The parent wasn't watching.
Yeah, parent was not paying attention.
Hi, pay attention to your children when they're around
(34:51):
other children. Don't let your children.
Don't let your child be the Dickparent wasn't watching and she
was she like couldn't get away from the kid.
She was like trying to shield herself but like could there
were so many kids around she couldn't get away and so he was
just like hitting her over and over again for no reason.
She was also like 2 at the time.Oh yeah.
Like Oh my mom rage. I was so angry.
(35:11):
That's the Yeah. I mean, swear, the other day got
hit by a kid who was much older,I mean five years older.
I was like, what are you doing, friend?
Yeah, and I like, literally madeeye contact with this kid and I
was like, he's 4, How old are you?
I don't know if it was the best parenting.
It was not my kids or I don't have to, but his, you know, I
(35:34):
was just like, why? Well and also like if his grown
up were paying attention you wouldn't have to.
Well, and just, you know, it's that whole.
Yeah, it, it, it's the, well, you know, he hit me first and I
was like, he's 4. Yeah.
He doesn't know any better yet. And still I will talk to him
(35:55):
about that. But like, I was like, what?
What? Yeah.
I don't know how to not like want to kneecap those kids.
Yeah, it's real hard. The mom rage is real.
The mom rage is real and I, I don't know how to, I also am
like so fearful of other people's children too.
Like when there is an injustice,I don't know how to step in
because I'm like so fearful thatthey're I'm, I'm going to get
(36:15):
kneecapped by somebody, you know, and or that I'm not
handling it the way that they. Yeah, but that's not your.
Responsibility. I know.
Because, like, if they wanted itto be handled the way they
wanted it to be handled, they would be handling it.
I have a lot of feelings about parents who check out on the
playground. A lot of feelings because that's
your responsibility. Like, just because there is a
(36:35):
playground with other children doesn't mean that you are, like,
off the clock. Yeah, you are still responsible
for your child now in a social setting.
I mean, I'm so fearful that I'm going to lose them.
When I, like, look down at my phone, I'm going to be like, now
they're gone. I don't know where they went.
Yeah, they move fast. They move fast.
Fast little bastards. And Roslyn was always cut when
(36:56):
she was, she was always so easy.She would just like stay close
to me, never ran away. Just chill.
Yeah, monsters. And then dots like, oh, here I'm
going to Sprint as far away as possible as fast as possible.
And if there's a body of water or like A5 lane Rd. that's even
better. Like if I could be sprinting
toward danger, I would prefer that option.
Like that child is going to giveme a heart attack.
(37:18):
Yeah. I got these beautiful silver
hairs sprouting out of my head from her, thank you very much.
But there was something else I wanted to say about Mr.
Culbertson. Now I don't remember.
(37:40):
I have smoothie on my nose. You got it.
Thanks, I haven't noticed that before.
Great. But you just have a thing in.
Letting me sit here this whole time like.
Smoothie on my nose. Embarrassing.
Oh my God, people are watching what?
Was it? Did it have to do with his kind
heart? He's just such a it's a
(38:02):
wonderful kind heart. Oh, just all in how you handle
somebody underperforming, right?Like that's such a through, it's
such like a common theme in all stages of our life.
Like we don't, we, that conversation doesn't stop when
you Graduate School. It just becomes different people
having that conversation with different people, right?
But the conversation translates like into friendships, into
(38:23):
marriage, into professional settings.
Like, Oh my God, when I left maternal health, you know, a
year and a half ago, that was also very sad for a number of
reasons. But also like I had been working
in maternal health, you know, inone facet or another for over 10
years. And I went from being a subject
(38:46):
matter expert and having like a really clear understanding of
how the industry that I worked in was functioning.
And like how to, you know, like I, I knew the insurance and
outs. I knew everything frontward to
backward. And then after that, after that
startup died, I end up getting ajob in orthopedics, which is
(39:08):
classic, Yeah, obvious natural transition, natural transition
from maternal health to orthopedics.
And it just was so like my, I don't remember the last time I
had that much anxiety because I one, was not a subject matter
expert. I didn't have familiarity with
like how like inter organizationally, how people,
(39:29):
how organizations interacted andlike how to like it was just, it
was like going in completely blind to something new.
And I it was horrible. It was horrible.
And every day, every day I was like, I don't know this
territory. I don't know where I am.
I don't know how to function within the space because I have
no context for like what anything around me looks like.
Every day was awful. Awful.
(39:51):
Awful. But I had a great support
system. My manager also was wonderful.
She was super supportive, and nobody was, like, expecting me
to be perfect. And I'm the same way when I
manage new people. Like, anything is a learning
curve, right? Like, I expect you to start and
then end up pretty immediately in the bottom of the well,
looking around like, I don't understand anything.
Everything's horrible. I'm so scared.
I'm so scared. Yeah, I don't get it.
(40:13):
Help me understand. When you can find those bosses,
yeah. I mean, that's a good place to
like dive in like that, you know, like be like, I'm scared
everyday, but like, at least I know that my boss has my back.
Yeah. You know, that's.
Are you OK? OK, 100%.
(40:34):
That's how my boss at the studiois.
She's like every day is going tobe learning.
We're going to learn. Yeah.
Well, and because like we, anybody who learns anything,
there's a learning curve, right?Like that is to be expected.
But also we put, I feel like forme too, specifically in this
situation, because I had been a subject matter expert for so
long in my industry, I went intothis role being like, you need
(40:57):
to be at a senior level of understanding and at a senior
level of execution of your responsibilities.
And like I couldn't do that because I didn't have my
bearings yet. But like I was so hard on
myself. And I think, too, that's part of
why that e-mail resonated with me, is because Roslyn has that.
We could all use that e-mail that.
Specialness that I have where I mean, and I know I'm this is not
(41:19):
unique to me. A lot of us are very hard on
ourselves when it comes to learning new things.
But like, yeah, to have that advocacy because we could, like
you said, we could all use that.Everybody could use that e-mail
once a week. You know, you're doing great.
And yeah, and I do think that there's some bosses out there
that don't they expect because, and probably because they were
treated that way. Like day one, you should be up
(41:41):
to snuff. Yeah.
And every day, you know, you're,you got to be 100%.
Yeah. And so therefore, when then they
move up and now they're some in some managerial, managerial
position, they're like, well, I was treated this way.
And I was like, let's be cycle Breakers then.
Yes, shall we? Please.
Like, let's foster those people.Let's help them learn how
(42:04):
whatever they need to learn, butin like the most supportive way.
And sometimes you don't have like this, I guess, space and
time, right? Like I have low stakes in all my
jobs. Like, you know, yoga is its own
thing. Performing is its own thing.
Performing is a thing Where that's why they have the saying
of like, people are like fine wines.
We just get better with age. And it's because we've been like
collecting data our whole lives to perform at a higher level or
(42:29):
maybe not, right. But like, but if you had
somebody who was like, that's OK, that's OK, that today wasn't
the best, Yeah, well then also. Like if you suddenly tomorrow
decided that you wanted to be a trapeze artist.
I do actually. I love those circus people.
Same. I'm every time I do Bohemia.
The burlesque. Burlesque and the trapeze.
(42:50):
Come on. Come on.
I mean, I want yes. When they were like, Tori, do
you feel comfortable, like doingsome lifts?
I was like, yes, teach me how. Like I want to do all the things
I want to. Yeah.
I want to learn how to like liftmyself up by a no leg, leg rope
climb on those. Oh, yes, on the silks.
(43:11):
On the silks. So good.
It was so cool. Circus people are also just so
impressive. The I was trying to say the
cat's pajamas and all, I said I thought it was banana tits, that
you know what they are the banana tits, The banana.
What does that even mean? I don't know, but I'm saying it
now. Those are the that's the
(43:32):
bananas, the tits. Pajamas is the other.
It's been a long day. It's been a long day, long week.
This is an especially brain melty Friday for me.
Yeah. Banana tits.
But I mean, that's like, just like podcasting, right?
Like, yeah, do we know? We know some stuff, yeah.
I know nothing. We know very.
We know very few things. Very.
(43:53):
Few things. I know nothing, but I also have
people around me who do know something.
And also when I, like, fuck up and I'm like, what are we
talking about? You're like, I got it and you're
OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're doing great. Yeah, I believe in you.
Yeah, and I but, but also like when we launched, I was like,
why is it not #1? Because it's gonna, it's not
(44:15):
going to be ever probably right?Like I mean.
People have to find out about itfirst.
And people have to find, please share us everybody.
But also, I mean, I just like getting to talk to a friend and
some of the things we talk aboutresonate with other people.
And like, I think that's the most important thing.
Yeah. Hey, guys.
I believe in you. You're doing great.
(44:36):
You are doing great what in whatever fashion you are living
your life. You're doing great.
Just be nice to people. Yeah.
And yourself. Yeah, and everyone extend grace
to everyone. Because what man life is, it's
not the tits bananas. It is not the tits, bananas and
the world around us is not the tits, bananas and.
Their bananas are on fire. It feels like everybody's
(44:56):
bananas are on fire. And they're in gasoline.
You've got no jammies, no potassium.
Oh my God, did you know that bacon has more potassium than
bananas? Oh, that means I should start
eating bacon instead of bananas.Yeah, I guess, but I learned
that the other day. Carcinogens.
Well, I know nothing about that,but.
I didn't know that actually, butthat's great because also high
(45:19):
sodium and bacon. So like if your sodium potassium
pump is not functioning properly, eat bacon.
Who knew? Eat bacon and it tastes way
better than a banana. Great for your kidneys.
Well, your cholesterol. When I actually ever since I've
had dengue, my sodium potassium pump just gets like I.
(45:39):
Didn't know we had a pump for such things.
Wah wah put. Your pumps, that's my pumps and.
Some. People sound like that.
Some people sound like wee woo. And I that's when I drink, you
know, my, my salt water. But I guess now I'll just eat
bacon instead. I mean it's so tasty I'm sure
you can find like healthier bacon but maybe not like the
(46:01):
highest sugar one the. Sugar and bacon.
Girl like the Maple? Maple.
Yeah. Candied bacon.
You better. I love a candied bacon.
I do because you just wrap it ina banana.
A bacon wrapped banana. Has anyone tried it?
I don't know. About.
(46:21):
That if you tried it, listeners,I want to hear about it. e-mail
us. It's nothing.
It's everythingpodcast@gmail.com.
Preferably a video. And preferably.
Of you trying it and real. Maybe not.
Well, yeah, I mean, some people will be down with that.
Do you ever like when you eat a banana?
Like, there's not a good time toeat a banana?
No, I always feel inappropriate eating a banana. 100%.
(46:44):
I can't do it in front of a. Help.
No, it also doesn't help that bananas are what they use in sex
Ed when they when they demonstrate how to put a condom
on. They're so phallic and you just
have to stick it right in your mouth.
Like I like to go to a good corner and or like break it in
parts, break it up. I like shame eating my bananas
in life. But like you have like hard eye
(47:05):
contact with people, like eatinga banana.
No, except I'm sure somebody's like, enjoyed it.
Enjoyed witnessing you eating a banana from afar?
And could you imagine if it was wrapped in bacon?
Even. Better.
Could you imagine? Oh, the only fans that we could
create. The banana eating only.
(47:26):
Fans. I mean, if they can make it
about toes, they can make it about me eating a banana.
Have you seen the the people whosmashed bread into their face?
What? Yeah, it's a thing that exists.
Wait, I don't know. What do you mean though?
Like, there's literally a video of this, like, beautiful Asian
woman, and she has, like, all kinds of different breads.
(47:47):
Can you know how you, like, crack it open?
And it's got that really satisfying crack sound.
Yeah. She does it with her face.
Like, she takes the bread loaf and she smooshes it on her face.
And it's just like, and then she's like, puts that, you know,
loaf down. And then here's, like a
hamburger bun, and she just smashes it on her face.
It's just like her facing these carbs.
(48:08):
What is the thing that exists? I think it's like ASMR.
It's ASMR for your eyes, for your eyes.
But also the sound like this. I was a crunch against the face.
Is that a different sound than against?
Them just cracking it open. I don't know.
Should we try it? That's right.
That's for our subscribers. That's our first video is US
smashing our faces into bread and bananas and bananas.
(48:30):
You've got a banana. Wrapped in bacon.
You know the sound that a bananawould make on your face?
Yeah. We don't have to experience it
to really experience it. Think about it.
So wet it'd be sticky. Anyway, we've really gone off
the time. Teachers, you're the best.
Teachers are the best and also non teachers positive people who
are positive positive. People.
(48:51):
Positive people who are positiveinfluences on other people's.
Lives as my friend Morgan says. He says be the rainbow to
somebody's cloudy day. Come on, that's what Mr.
Culbertson does. Yeah, and that's.
What we should all do? Yeah, I like to say be the rock
to somebody's ripple, right? Like be the thing that starts
their better day. I always think about, you know,
when you're driving down the road and you see, you see
(49:13):
somebody just like just jamming out in their car.
Yeah. And just like it's me
unapologetically, like just fistpumping.
Just like, yeah, to feel. It.
And there's not a time when that's not going to make you
feel better, like watching as the watcher of it.
I remember like, being so like, I love music.
And when I'm in my car and I'm just like, doing the thing and
(49:33):
I'm singing out loud and we're dancing and I'm just like, yeah,
it's getting it. And somebody catches me.
I used to be like, so like instant, yeah, regret and shame.
And now I'm like, I know I hope you enjoy, like, I hope, I hope
that I get to be the start of that ripple for you.
Yeah. And I hope that you, like, turn
up your music a little bit louder.
I hope you, like, roll down a window.
And, like, all I have is free falling stuck in my head, Right.
(49:58):
Who was that? Tom Petty.
Tom Petty? Yeah, I got Tom Petty stuck in
my head. And or like, you know, let your
free flag fly like when you're at the store.
Like, my kids love to dance. Does not matter where they love
to dance. And they're, they've got like
spaghetti legs again with the spaghetti legs, we're bringing
it back different, kind of different.
We don't have spaghetti coming out of our horse, but we have
(50:19):
spaghetti noodle legs. And and instead of being like,
oh, embarrassed or whatever, I join in.
Same. I'm like, the more I can live in
some kind of like kid like state.
Yeah, because somebody's going to see it and allow their freak
flag to fly a little bit higher.Yes, and also like why would you
not? Like why do we have to go
through life being like super controlled and super like muted?
(50:43):
Like why do we always need to turn ourselves down?
I don't think. I say let's crank it up.
I shan't, I shan't. I shan't.
Take your noodles for a walk, everybody.
Take the noodles outside. Take them outside, it's
beautiful. Get that vitamin D and your
potassium. I love At the Dead by eating
bacon. By eating bacon.
Screw the bananas. Never again.
(51:04):
Who needs those nutrients now? I'm gonna start putting bacon in
my smoothies. Oh, just kidding.
Salty. Just kidding.
Salty. So gross.
Meaty. A meaty oil that comes out of it
anyway. Anyway, be the good.
Be the good, be the good and it's just small acts and it.
And really, that's The thing is like being the good doesn't
(51:24):
always have to be for the betterment of others.
Yeah. Being good for yourself and the
betterment of your life, yeah, will be the ripple, right?
That's going to be the rainbow. You can like, love yourself a
little bit more, be a little bitmore gentle with yourself.
And then start to take that loveand that gentleness and just
sprinkle it and. Sprinkle it around you.
Be like, listen, I see that you're having a hard time.
(51:47):
I've had a hard time too, yeah. You're doing great.
You're doing. Good, just keep showing up.
Your hard time is still great, you're still doing great in your
hard time, and if your hard timemeans you're doing nothing,
you're doing exactly the right thing and you're doing great.
Man. That's like a whole different
conversation around like struggles and how struggles are
perceived as like not doing wellwhen the reality is that like
(52:09):
our whole ass life is hills and valleys.
We don't. Yeah.
Talk about not knowing. You're never going to know.
No. And also like when you're in the
Valley, that doesn't mean you'redoing poorly.
That means you are like in a transition phase.
That means you are learning hardlessons because there is room
for growth and growth is always uncomfortable.
But when it looks messy or when it looks scary, or when it looks
quote UN quote bad, that doesn'tmean you're not doing well.
(52:31):
It just means you're struggling and struggling.
I mean, this is what we always talk about, right?
Like you have to struggle to make change.
If you don't want to ever struggle in your life, then you
will never change anything. Your life will look exactly the
same for the rest of your life, and that is a choice.
That is a choice. I personally will never live my
life that way. No.
Because I want to be growing andevolving and learning and
(52:53):
understanding deeper and enriching myself and my life.
Which means I'm going to go through some huge ass valleys
and I'm going to be deep in the bottom.
I'm going to be deep in that well, and it's OK, I.
Wish I'd learned that lesson a little earlier.
Of of like when you're struggling, it's not bad.
I I remember the day and this was actually Emeril gave this to
(53:16):
me. She said this too shall pass.
Like when I was in deep postpartum and we had a she and
I had a great conversation of like coming out of like knowing
that this Yep, right now sucks right in this moment, everything
sucks. I hate it here, but knowing that
(53:40):
I've never not come out. Yeah, right.
Like I've never not been in the well and not crawled my way out
of the well. And so like, trusting that
process, trusting that. And that doesn't mean it's gonna
happen tomorrow. I'm gonna wake up all giggly,
right? Or even a month from now, right?
Or even a year. And you're not gonna know what
it looks like. And you don't.
And that's The thing is like, that's also kind of the magic,
(54:01):
the fun of life is like, you don't know what it's gonna look
like. Yeah.
And if you're just like open to it, right Spaghetti legs, you're
just. Leaning into it, leaning into
spaghetti legs, Yeah. Yeah, but that was such AI.
Wish I'd like learned that. I don't know.
I think you're meant to learn lessons when you're meant to
learn lessons. Right.
Yeah, Well, that's another. Why didn't we learn it all in
(54:23):
our 20s though? Because we were too busy trying
to learn how to like, be stable adults who are responsible for
ourselves. Like I don't know about you, but
in my 20s did I eat 3 square meals a day?
Probably not for a long. Time.
I don't even do that now. Yeah, like I.
She's a snacker. Same.
She grazes. Yeah, she grazes.
I get. I get the macros in but I have
(54:44):
multiple meals. Sometimes I have two lunches,
sometimes I have two dinners. I definitely have two meals a
day but like my lunch. Oh, I meant like.
You know not. Yeah, like I have breakfast,
lunch and dinner, and sometimes I'll have two lunches.
Or two dinners, Yeah, no, I'm like a three, definitely 2 meals
and then like 4 snacks throughout the day or like 4
(55:05):
snack breaks or I'll have three meals and like 2 SNAP.
Breaks. Yeah.
Lots of food all the time. Yes, but what was I saying?
I was going to say something about tchotchkes.
Oh, tchotchkes. What's the saying?
Trust the. Trust the process.
Trust the I like. You see that everywhere, right?
You see that meme? Everywhere.
(55:26):
That's right. Everywhere and I hated it for
the longest time. Trust the process.
But it is true. Like you can't.
That is, it's all about your perspective, right?
You can sit in the unknown and know, like you were saying, that
you will come out of it at some point and you're not there today
and that's OK. But like eventually you will get
there. And in the meantime, trusting
(55:47):
that you will get to that point,even though you can't see the
stepping stones today is so freaking hard.
And, and I want to trust the process.
And at the same time, I do really want to trust the process
because that's to me what changes my entire outlook.
My entire perspective is like knowing that there will be.
The goods. Goods happening, Yeah.
The goods going to come, Yeah. And you don't know when it's
(56:08):
going to. Come no and you don't feel it
today. And you don't feel it today or
maybe even tomorrow, but yeah, that even that visual of like a
really long road and like there's like a sunshine.
Like that's how I visualize it. It's like I'm in the the deep
right now. So like I can visualize that
road and visualize that happy day when I'm gonna, when I will
(56:28):
wake up and I'll be like, OK, we're good now.
Yeah, like I worked through this.
The yuck worked through the shitand she's on the other side
cool. And knowing that, you know, a
darker time, another valley is going to come.
But like, but that's why. But when you're not in the yuck,
or even when you are in the yuck, you're learning those
tools, like getting the tools sothat when you're not, you're
(56:50):
like, uh huh. And when it happens again, I'm
going to be better, it'll take less time, blah blah blah.
And that outside voice from Mr. Culbertson in this situation of
you're doing great, I believe inyou, becomes your inside voice.
At a certain point, when you have that message delivered to
you, when you are struggling by someone else, eventually you
(57:10):
internalize it and it becomes your inside voice and your
message to yourself and changes the way that you feel about
struggling. Yeah, and not putting yourself
around trash people don't do it.I mean, you have the choice,
right? We take that, we tell that to
the boys all the time. It's like you cannot control
other people. You can't control where your
body is. Yeah.
So if you don't want to be somewhere, if somebody's making
you feel in some way, shape or form not good, then you get up
(57:34):
and you leave. Yeah.
You know, we don't need it. So goodbye.
Goodbye. I mean, it can't be like at
school. I know.
I mean in the middle of class, you know, in the middle of
class, right? There's, you know, I anyway,
that's a different podcast, but I, yeah, I think that's where
that whole village doesn't stop in just childhood.
No, like the village is, you know, and there's this, this,
(57:59):
this idea, this rumor that villages don't exist, right?
I mean, they sure look different.
But they, and that's The thing is like you can say they don't
exist, period. Yeah, that's not a yes and
situation, right? That's a no.
I'm going to live in my yuck. Yeah.
Which is also a choice and not bad.
Sometimes. Sometimes you need to like, not
have a fucking village. But I think that villages look
(58:20):
different for every person. Yeah.
And different every family. Because I have a few moms in my
life who don't have extended family.
Right. I'm looking at, I'm looking at
you right now. But there's a few of them.
And it's like, but you've found a way to make your village work.
Yeah. And it's not going to be like,
(58:40):
it's just going to look different.
Yeah, my village is different than your village.
Yes. And I think that that neither 1
is better or worse. Some mine is a little bit more
convenient because I live 3 minutes.
Yeah, from everybody. But yet again, I had to
sacrifice that. I had to sacrifice a lot of my
wants or some of my wants to do that.
Yeah. But yeah, I think that the
(59:01):
villages is always they're always out there, even if
they're like Co workers. Yeah.
That you can verbally process with 100%.
That's huge. That's free therapy.
Yes, yeah, Look for your villagers.
They're out there. The village people are out
there. The.
Village people are out there or I went we went to go see
Minecraft movie and and the I didn't know.
(59:22):
I don't know much about Minecraft.
Oh, same. I know there's the Steve is the
leader played by Jack Black. Oh, sure.
Oh yeah. Oh my gosh, He's playing
Minecraft as we talked. That's so good.
Did you build that? That's good.
Why is it raining? Because.
Sometimes it rains, sometimes itrains come.
(59:43):
On Could you not be more poetically correct right now?
Yeah, sometimes it rains. Sometimes it's a rainy.
Day, but you can still build in Minecraft.
That's right, even if it's raining you.
Can't control the weather, but you could still be.
Out yeah, but they have villagers in Minecraft that look
so phallically silly. Oh no.
If you ever see yes yeah, the villagers nose in Minecraft look
(01:00:07):
like. Phallic symbols to me, like when
they popped I was like, that's ajoke, That's got to be a joke.
I'm sure it is. I don't know, I don't know about
Minecraft, but but man, they have a good time.
They have a good time with it anyway.
Spooky voice. You're so cute.
(01:00:30):
You're cute. He's like leave me alone.
Do you? Like I was wearing my dad's face
on his shirt. I love it.
That was for my dad's. That was like 2 years ago and he
still fits in that shirt. It's real cute.
And I was like, I sent my dad that picture and I was like, you
went to kindergarten today? Congrats.
He's like, I knew it. I knew I'd always end up back
there. I mean, if I could end up back
there. Yeah, no anyway.
(01:00:51):
Anyway, be the light, people's light, be the ripple.
No be what'd you say? Be the rainbow to some.
Be the rainbow in somebody's cloudy day.
Yeah. Or be the rock to somebody's
ripple. You choose which one you're
like. In fact, we'll put a poll up.
Perfect. What a poll up somewhere I don't
know follow us on at in on Instagram at it's nothing.
(01:01:13):
It's everything Pod. Yeah.
Please send us your if you have any questions, concerns.
Question. Comments.
Concerns. Have you eaten banana wrapped in
bacon? Please send us an e-mail about
that because I would love to seeit.
Have you smushed bread on your face?
Are you one of those people? And how much money are you
making? Is there a market for this I
(01:01:35):
need to understand? If this doesn't work out.
We're going to do bread smashing.
Smash it with high face, she'll like lay it on the table and
like smush it with her face. Oh, like her face is the tool?
Yes. Not the surface that it smashed
on, but the tool. That smashed base is the tool.
All the times, whether she's holding it and she's smashing
(01:01:55):
uncomfortable or she's putting her face, smashing it on the
table into the bread, it's out there everybody.
I'm I'm. Sure.
The people who watch are like, yeah.
It's the best. I don't remember, sorry, I don't
remember the name. What about a loaf of like like
crusty like rustic bread? Like a sourdough.
Yeah, like at that. Oh, I'm thinking that's I think.
(01:02:18):
Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, that'snot maybe a ramming face.
That's a gentle crunch. Maybe a forehead.
Your forehead could take a lot, that's true.
Just not your cheeks. No.
Anyway, Anyway, so. On that note.
Thanks for being here. Thanks for listening.
You're the best. Please like, comment, subscribe.
(01:02:41):
Follow share share share share please share we want our
community to grow so that we can.
So that we can be the rock. Yeah, the RIP, no the the
rainbow. And the rainbow.
Sorry. Thanks for being here.
Get your potassium up, everybody, and see you next
(01:03:03):
Tuesday. Bye.
I have to be. Stop it.