E10 Ten Secrets, Zero Chill

Y'all, it's our tenth episode! Ten very public displays of the things that make us tick, ten hours of subjecting you to topic-pinball, ten opportunities to validate your own experiences and feel a little less alone. So now, ten impromptu questions (not secrets, really) that get to the heart of who we are. We laugh, we cry, we say some weird shit... and we love that you're here for it. Strap in!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
OK, we room toned it. OK, we did it.
We dude it. Oh, was there a staple in my
couch? Oops, see.
Oops. See.
Just to keep you sharp. Dumb, I thought it was great.
Listen. She makes herself cackle.
OK. And that's all that matters.

(00:21):
Hi friends. Hi, I'm Kimberly, I'm Tori.
And you are listening too. It's nothing.
It's everything. Hey, hi.
Hey there. Hey there.
You there? Hi there.
Hey there guys, it's our 10th episode.
You talented back in our younger.

(00:42):
Years back in my day, I had a voice.
What a glorious time that was, 1010 whole episodes we have been
doing this, you have been listening.
Thank you, Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
All the way down to my toes, down to my sacrum.
Down to down to my loin. Down to my cock sex if you will.

(01:05):
Oh, sorry, Dragon Ball Z. So I feel like we should
probably let listeners into the magic of our recording space at
some point, which is my husband's office, Nick's office.
Come on, Nick. Nick's it fix it.
Nick's it fix. It and you know he's a fan of a
lot of things and a lot of thosethings are on the wall like Luau
like does. He like a luau Or just drag that

(01:28):
dragon. The Dragon.
The dragon. Ball Z sign.
Wait, that's not Dragon Ball Z, that's Mortal Kombat.
Why are you asking? Me, I'm sure.
I don't know. There's a dragon.
I don't know. There's definitely a lot of
Dragon Ball Z stuff. Yeah, When I like to make him
frustrated, I call it Yu-gi-oh. Well, if you because.
They're. Not the same.
If you want to see it and you haven't seen it, go to our

(01:50):
Instagram at It's Nothing, It's Everything pod and you can see
on our reels, you can see some pictures of some pretty epic
stuff and I'll try to. Remember, maybe we'll give you a
whole tour, a whole tour 'cause there's a lot of Godzilla in
here and. There's also some cute kids
stuff. Yes, lots of kids there's.
Three big books of Helsing. So Oh yeah, vampires.

(02:11):
That's cute. Oh.
Roslyn's calling me. Hey girls.
Hello. Micah kidnapped you.
OK. So you went to Micah's house and
he's feeding you. Great.
Thanks, Micah. Thanks for feeding her.
Is that you just called to let me know that you're eating food?
Nourishment's important. Thank you for updating me.

(02:32):
I appreciate it. I know where you are.
Look at you go. You're an adult.
OK, well, have fun at Micah's house and tell him thank you for
Yeah, Tori's here. You're you're on the podcast
right now. Podcast right now, girl.
So you are so famous. Have a great show tonight.

(02:53):
Break legs. Tell Mike to break legs as well.
And love you. And I'm glad you're eating food.
And please have dinner. Please don't break your bones.
But please have more than, like,wafer cookies.
Like, have a real dinner, please, because I know you.
Rice crackers and coconut rolls and wafer cookies.
Yeah. well-rounded, colorful, fibrous.

(03:14):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lots of antioxidants, vitamins,
minerals. Good.
Oh, great vibes. OK, have fun.
Wait, and what time is your showover?
No, I know how I said what time is it?
Great. See you at 9.
OK, bye. Come on.
She called me to tell me where she is.
Look at that responsible child. Come on now.

(03:35):
Anyway, yeah, our recording studio, it's magical.
It's really, it's really festiveit.
Really matches our vibe. It really matches our vibe.
You know, Yeah. Mm.
Hmm. Yeah, skulls.
They're skulls. There's Palo Santo, there's Palo
Santo, there's kids toys. I mean, this guy's been my

(03:56):
friend for all 10 episodes. He is who's Broly?
No, Broly's just the only character's name that I know
other than Yu-gi-oh. I so just call it Yu-gi-oh if
you just want to, you know, Ruffthose feathers a little bit Zing
Zing if you just want to be like.
Who's this alpha book character?Alfie.
Alfie, you look ragey, babe. She roided out.

(04:23):
She roided. OK, OK, so for our 10th episode,
we wanted to do, I think we're doing 10 questions.
Yeah, about. Getting to know.
You getting to know is that the are those the words doesn't
matter, Yeah, yeah. Boy, those are the words.

(04:47):
Yeah, you found them well. Cool.
So first, before we even get into it, I want to say thank you
for being here. Thank you for still listening
for all 10 episodes. And if you don't mind, please
like, share, comment everywhere,save, save, follow us on

(05:08):
Instagram. That's the thing.
Follow like there's too many things now.
There's too many other words I know it's too much.
Yeah, yet again, on Instagram and Facebook.
So you and your grandma send it to your grandma.
On the Facebook, it's nothing, it's everything.
And then on Instagram it's nothing.
It's everything. Pod and also we're on Amazon,

(05:29):
Amazon pods, YouTube pods, Applepods, Spotify pods.
We are also it's something maybeI shouldn't even say that
because we don't know when we'regoing to transition to having
video video, but we're going to do that someday.
So probably in like 27 years we will shut up a camera. 27 years.
And we'll just sit there chain smoking our Virginia Slims when?

(05:52):
Podcasts aren't even cool anymore.
Yeah, cool. So.
Vibes. I say let's give.
Should we just let's? Do it.
Are we doing alternating? Do you want to alternate or we
answer the question? Oh, I don't know if we have time
to each answer the question. Do you think we'd speed round
it? Maybe.
Yeah, let's give short answers. I don't know, can't.

(06:13):
Do that. No, I mean, listen, we could
try. Let's try.
We could try. We'll do our best.
OK, great. Question number one.
If a book were written about your life, what would the title
be and why? I mean, I still want to go with
my first answer, which was, uh oh, a memoir.
A memoir. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(06:33):
And because for the first, I'd say 30 years, no, no, no,
probably 18 years. I had no filter.
So I had to, I said a lot of things that I definitely meant,
but I offended probably a lot ofpeople.
I heard a lot of feelings on theway there.
And then even when I found it, sometimes I still couldn't craft

(06:57):
it the right way. And so it's just like, Oh yeah,
there she goes again. Maybe that's it.
Oh, there she goes again. So the life lessons of filters,
I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The the the progress your chapters will progress from
filter less to somewhat filter red, Yeah.

(07:20):
Yeah, mm, hmm. That's my answer.
That's my quick answer. And there I think, I feel like
there's probably multiple like there's.
I think you have different booksfor different times.
I can't, yeah. I can't limit myself.
To one, I'm like a I'm an encyclopedia.
Yeah, there you go. Britannica.
Yeah. OK, what would the title of my

(07:42):
See, here's here's my problem. I can never pick one of
anything. Well, yeah, that's a problem.
It's not. It makes your life more
colorful. It's like when people ask me
what my favorite anything is, I'm like, I don't have one
favorite. I don't have.
No, I don't have one favorite. I like lots of things for
different reasons. Yeah, there you go.
That's the title of of my book. I like lots of things for
different reasons. Just leave me alone.

(08:04):
Just generic AF. Yeah, I don't have to answer to.
You. Yeah.
Fuck. Off.
This is as much of an answer as you're getting.
It doesn't make sense to you, and I don't care.
The longest title. Yeah, that's the subtitle.
That's the whole subtitle. That's it.
Just the whole page of the wholecover of the book is just text
because the title is so long andthe subtitle is so long.
Yeah, well, that's all. I think that's funny.
Great. Well, that's it, all right.

(08:25):
And it's not going to be cohesive at all, because my life
ain't that. Because our brains aren't,
obviously. You've listened to 10 episodes
of us not stay on a topic for probably longer than like 5
minutes. No, no, which somebody said to
me, Speaking of a new topic, waslike, I kind of like that
though, because it does feel like it's the conversations.

(08:48):
It's the conversations I have with my girlfriends.
Yeah. Because like when you are with a
girlfriend, you're just like spitballing and just like, throw
on a ping pong, Boo, Boo, Boo, Boo.
It's no, you're going to go all down every rabbit hole.
No, we're here to keep you on your toes and also ourselves and
also like, you know what this world doesn't need.
And by this world, I mean the world of Kimberly and Tori is a
scripted podcast. Not never know.

(09:11):
No, no, You can tell when we've scripted things like when I
listen back and I'm like, yeah. Gross.
Yeah, that does not sound like me.
Trash. Trash.
OK, so question 2. What's a memory that instantly
makes you smile no matter how many times you think about it?
Oh. I have too.

(09:32):
Many. Yeah.
Which? What a blessed problem to have.
What a blessed problem to have memories.
I have a memory of playing stackhands with my grandmother
that's like that's. So funny you bring up a
grandparent because I was like instantly I was like, I got to
come up with a grandparent like.A lot of them, a lot of the
memories that I have that like still make me genuinely smile to

(09:54):
this day are with Gigi, with my Gigi Stackhands is a big one
also. She used to let me, you know,
you know how the old grannies were.
She would always get her hair done.
She would have like hair done with the rollers and it was
always set and you know, and sheused to let me put her hair in a
Mohawk and and her hair was thatbig deal.
Like she needed her hair done, but like she used to let me put

(10:15):
her hair in a Mohawk and Oh my God, it just was like I just was
the happiest kid. I loved it.
So thanks, Jige, bless up. Bless up Ben.
You doing great up there? Let's see what else?
Probably my children. Just like like each of them
being born. You know, on your, on your
phone, the widget, the photo widget, yeah, it can alternate

(10:37):
or it'll like change all the pictures every time you open
your phone. And most of them are my
children. And it that any of those.
Yeah, just a picture of my a baby of one of my babies.
Little squishy faces. That'll that'll do it.
Yeah. Them saying any of the words,
like remembering the words that they said.

(10:58):
Funky. Yeah.
Like instead of Yucky, it was Yetchy.
Which we still used to we. Still used to this day.
That's hella yetchy. Roslyn's was fwabbits.
Strawberries were fwabbits. We still say.
Fwabbits. Yeah, Yeah, it's a good one.
Fwabbits. Wwabbits Yeah, so I think the
kids are the kids are an easy one.

(11:18):
Yeah. If I want to like make it
romantic that Pat and I had to see each other on our, we did
not want to see each other before our wedding.
We wanted to go traditional thatway.
Yeah, because also Pat was goingto lose it no matter what.
But ever that was like it was like building up to this moment
and like we want the pressure. Yeah, publicly loses.

(11:41):
Yeah, talk about the pressure for Pat, but he.
But I was I was like, I need my grounded human being.
And so we stood on at the churchthat we were getting married.
We stood on each side of a pole,and we just, like, help.
We wouldn't look at each other, but we held each other's hands
from behind the pole. And then I felt so much better.
I was like, OK, yeah, right. Because it would like, that

(12:03):
anxiety of not seeing each otherwas really Frenching it up for
me. I was just like, I'm not doing
well with that. And so, like, him grounding me
down. And then he that always makes me
smile. He also forgot his vows so he
had to like write them like thatday.
Damn, Patty. Which is actually probably
better because he is very long winded because I remember him

(12:24):
reading me his vows and I was like what's?
Going to have to trim it up babe, but.
Also I think mine were long too.That's a that's a a smile of
mine too. Is our wedding day that our
courthouse wedding day. Not our big everybody wedding,
but that whole day was just so magical.
It was just us and our parents in a warehouse in Portland.
They were just like, we just rented it for the day and we had

(12:46):
champagne and had take out for lunch.
No, we went to the food trucks and got, yeah, got like food
truck food for lunch and then walked across the Burnside
Bridge. No, the, my father is screaming
right now. He hasn't listened to this
podcast, but if he weren't listening to this podcast, he'd
be like, it's not the Burnside. It's the, I don't know, Multnom.

(13:07):
I don't even know what a bridge in Portland.
We were, we were walking across the bridge.
I, you know, Nick and I are in our, he's in a suit.
I'm in a, you guys look real cute.
I'm in a, a romper, A pantsuit with a veil and a train.
I have my bouquet. I got flowers from the, from the
Pike Market the day before. We drove, we literally drove
down at 4:00 in the morning to Portland.

(13:29):
Why did you do this? Because.
Because I remember. I remember because you were not
here. Yeah.
You were in Indonesia, I believe, right?
And I remember, like, you posteda picture on social media.
We didn't tell anybody. You're fucking mad.
I was like, what? I was so livid.
I was so mad. And then I was like, wait, it's

(13:49):
not about me. Chill out, T And then I was just
you looked so cute in that, likeit was a silk.
Yeah, one piece. Yeah, silk.
Like pantsu. Silk Pantsu.
Yeah, and just like, so you guys.
Yeah. But then I remember, like,
telling, like, texting or something.

(14:10):
Yeah. What's happening to you being
like, Oh my God, congratulations.
And like, screw you, man. Yeah, screw you.
Let us celebrate your love. And then we did.
And then we did. But you told me you were like,
don't worry, chill out. Yeah.
But why? I've always wondered.
I've always wondered. Why So we so OK, how do I how do
I make this a short story? This is when Emma and I were

(14:32):
building Roo Space, which was a pre and post Natal fitness
boutique that we were going to be opening in Miami.
So we were going to be moving toMiami.
Emma and I were working on Roo Space, but it with the timeline,
I would have had to move to Miami before the school year was
over. And so Nick would have been in
Seattle solo parenting Roslyn. And at that point, like he had
no legal rights, right? And so we were like, OK, well,

(14:55):
let's just like, let's just like, we'll just do it.
We'll just do it. And it was in August and we
thought that I was going to be moving like sometime before
Christmas. And so Nick's parents, there was
a planned trip. I had just come back from being
in it. I was working in Indonesia.
I had just come back from consulting for like 3 weeks in
Indonesia. I came back like on a Tuesday

(15:17):
and his parents were coming in the next day and they were
coming in like Wednesday or Thursday through Sunday.
It was like a short ish visit. And so we were like, well, if we
know we're going to do a courthouse wedding anyway, why
not do it while they're here? Why not see if my parents can
like, let's see if we can get everyone together?
And then, yeah. And then in this, in the state
of Washington, there is a 72 hour waiting period when you get

(15:40):
your marriage license before youcan actually like do the do the
service at the courthouse. But in Oregon, there's not.
So we were like, great road tripto Oregon, drove down to
Portland, Literally did a day trip, drove down to Portland.
My parents came up and met us. So my dad, my mom, my mom,

(16:00):
Nick's parents, and then my bestfriend from childhood, Meg,
who's a photographer, came and did the photos and we just like,
had a courthouse wedding and it was so magical.
It was so lovely. It was hot as balls, which of
course I loved, but everybody else is miserable.
And also like I got to be in like this beautiful sleeveless
silk pantsuit and all the men were in suits with jackets.

(16:24):
And we're like walking across the bridge in like the heat of
the afternoon. It is August, direct sunlight.
And also it was the weekend of the Hood to Coast Relay.
And so there were we were crossing the bridge and there
were a bunch of marathon runnersrunning past us, which is fun.
We got lots of congratulations, and people like, taking selfies
with us, which is really cute. Went to the courthouse.

(16:46):
We were married by a man that mymom knew from back in her days
when she was a paralegal in Portland in the 80s.
And then we did this, like, beautiful little Indonesian
wedding tradition, like at the waterfront in Portland where
there's a tradition where you hold an umbrella over you and
then they pour the turmeric riceand it has dates in it which are

(17:06):
represent, like, the sweetness of life.
And then Rupia in it, which represents like, money and and
wealth and like, you know, financial whatever.
Goodness. Yeah.
And so we did that and then we went to this amazing Spanish
tapas restaurant for dinner and had champagne and ate tapas and
it was such an incredible day. So that that one makes me smile.

(17:27):
Yeah, that one does it. That's a good one.
Yeah, it's a good one. And then and then I didn't move
to floor. We didn't move to Miami because
then there was just like a minorinconvenience that was like
global pandemic. So anyway.
So it's fine, Chestnut. Everything's fine, OK?
If you could relive one day in your life exactly as it
happened, which would it be and why?

(17:48):
And. Now, I mean, it's to clarify,
yeah, because I have mine in my head, yeah.
But is it? I'm living it the same way, but
I am making different choices. I think you, I think you get to
interpret it however you feel you want to interpret.
It OK, so there is one day that I just regret wholeheartedly I

(18:13):
loved everything about the day It was my 25th birthday Pat who
we had just started dating like we were fresh dating.
He was trying to like really, you know, impress and he had and
25th birthday is kind of a big deal and I was doing where was
I? I was doing a show, I was doing
chorus line at a summer stock theater and he had planned,

(18:38):
gosh, we had planned this whole birthday and my 24th birthday
was a real duck fart. Like it was like, it was really
bad. My boyfriend at the time, like
who was a baby, just like reallyshit the bed.
Like he was like, he's like, I have dinner planned and that's
it. And then he took me to dinner in
LA at a place I had eaten the night before and I had like told

(19:01):
him about it. I was like cool, man, neat.
And that was like it. And like birthdays for me are
very big deal. Like I think fucking celebrate
me. Celebrate and celebrate yourself
and yes, yeah, be like I made ita whole another year on this
planet. So like, good job me.
I'm the same way. Like if nothing else, celebrate
your birthday. You are alive and you are worth
celebrating. Yeah, well, it's like that

(19:22):
Mother's Day thing. It's like, this is what I want
on my day. Yeah.
And I will also show up for other people if that's what you
know. Yeah.
That they value. And so.
But Pat went with gangbusters. He was he he took he we went to
piano, our keys on main. So the Julian piano bar, which I
had never been to. And I remember they were like

(19:42):
come up here, birthday girl and they're like give us a song.
I for some reason chose sister Christian.
I don't know. Why hilarious?
System Christian Banner and I was and they turned the pianist
turned his his stool or his bench yeah so that I we were
like quote UN quote on a motorcycle and like I was behind
him like and he was singing the song like we were in some kind

(20:05):
of music video amazing and. I wish there was a fan in your
hair that's. What I just me.
That was me trying to make my hair be a fan.
Yeah. And then, like the next day,
there was a boat ride, Patty, with all our friends.
Come on. And then that same night we got
off and he had rented a hotel room that we all got, you know,
party in a hotel room. And it was it was truly amazing.

(20:27):
He had just really like thought of all the details.
And the reason I want to change that is because I was the
biggest Dick ever to to him, to him, to him.
Nice to everybody else. Thanks for being here to
celebrate me. But you shenanigans.
I hate you. I didn't I mean, but one it got
real. It set me off because he, my

(20:49):
husband has a beautiful beard and that night he decided to
shave it off. And so Babyface Delente showed
up. No, I was like, who the French
are you? I was.
So and I was so get that face away from me.
Face out of here and yet. Again, what a birthday.
If Nick showed up with a baby face, clean shaven face, which

(21:09):
by the way I've never seen in 10years, I'd be like get out, get
out. And like we had, we had just
started dating, like, you know, for a few months maybe.
Maybe. I think like officially started
in August. My birthday isn't.
Yeah, you can't. Bite and switch a girl.
You can't come in with a beard and shame, like, no shame on
you. But also like, this man is doing

(21:29):
something so incredibly kind forme.
And no one had ever a man had ever done that for me.
And so like self-conscious storyinstead of being like, Oh my
God, thank you. I'm like, oh, yeah, well,
whatever. Black.
And just like, just such a Dick.I was so mean to him.
I was so mean to him. And so that day I, I could, I

(21:51):
it's the only day that I regret in my life.
Wow. For 30, almost 39 years that
that one is like, I would do that over.
Damn. Yeah.
Damn. I love you, Pat.
I mean. Yeah, to be fair, he's never
gone that big for any other birthday sunset.
Oh. Yeah, what are we doing for

(22:11):
Torres 40th? I mean, let's start planning it
now. I mean, we got to let's do it.
I mean, I don't let anybody justplan it because like, you know.
Yeah. No, you, they got to, they got
to be the right kind of planners, Yeah.
But so yes, that's mine. How about?
You, if I can relive one day of my life exactly as it happened.

(22:32):
See, now that you read that back, I'm like, oh, it's a good
day it. Well, it can be bad, it can be
whatever. It was a good day.
There's we. It's like the thing that it's
here. It's weird the thing that comes
to my mind first. Yeah, we're going first.
It's weird. That's fine.
It's the day my grandmother passed away.
Oh. Touch my pearls.

(22:53):
Yeah. Hey, why do you think?
I, I don't know, I don't understand enough about death
yet to be able to really speak to like why.
But I will tell you, we were living in Indonesia at the time.
My grandmother was in Gigi. This is Gigi.
My grandmother was in Hospice. I flew back, spent a week there.

(23:16):
It was very evident to me that she was, she was like barely
conscious, not really interacting.
Would like have moments of like sort of awakeness but not
really. She was clearly like in
transition. And I after a week had to go
back to go back to work, go backto Indonesia.
And also like this was the firsttime I left Nick and Roslyn

(23:37):
alone together. Yeah, so high, so high.
But high energy. Yeah, high, high stress.
High anxiety and I went back andI was literally home in
Indonesia for a week and could not sleep, could not think about
anything. I was like my, my, just my mind
and my heart. We're still in Oregon with her.
I couldn't like I couldn't focuson anything.

(23:58):
I was in the middle of a teachertraining and I was supposed to
be like mentoring when I want mentoring and giving feedback
and I just was like my brain just I could not, I couldn't
focus on anything and I would literally just lay in bed at
night and all I could think about was being back there.
And so after like, I don't know,a week of that or not even I was
like Nick, I can't. And he was like, please go, just

(24:19):
go. And so I bought a flight for 24
hours later and I flew back and I got in on like a Saturday, a
Friday, a Saturday, I don't know.
And I got there, I saw her Saturday, I saw her Sunday, I
saw her Monday, Monday. It was very evident, like
something had changed. And then, like, also in Hospice,

(24:39):
they give you lots of reading material and, like, what to
expect and, like, the signs to look for.
And so I was, like, trying to pay attention to all the signs.
And I had noticed that her feet had started turning purple,
which means there's no longer circulation to your feet.
And usually that means that that's like the last sign,
right? Yeah.
So I sat by her bedside all day long.
And then my my aunt was there atone point and then she had left

(25:05):
to go back up to Portland. And I think my uncle stopped in
at one point or there were like people in and out all day.
And then my dad came and they were like repositioning her
because, you know, they have to move their bodies every so often
so you don't get bed sores. So we stepped out of the room,
they repositioned her. We came back into the room and
there was just like one single tear on her face.

(25:26):
And I was like, OK, but it was you could feel it.
There is like there is like an energy about death that is that
I cannot put words to, but like you can feel it.
You can feel it. And we were we were there when
my grandfather passed. Yeah, it's and and so I man.
Gotcha. It's got me, it's a hard 1.

(25:49):
So I was laying on the I was on the left side of the bed and I
was either sitting in the chair,but I was like sort of laying
next to her and I was just like,you know, stroking her head.
My dad was on the other side holding her hand or something.
And and we watched her take her last breath and, but, but also
like, I can't imagine if I hadn't been there.

(26:10):
Like there was something. So yeah, like there was just
something so powerful about being there and being with her.
And like, no, I like, I knew that that's where I needed to
be. Yeah.
Like it, it, it was like so invasive.
Yeah. And I couldn't.
I just knew that that's where I needed to be.
And I knew, I knew I needed to be there.

(26:33):
And there was just something so,so like healing about being
there and so powerful about being there.
Well, it's finite. It's like finite, right?
You're like I, I was there for the last.
Yeah, Yeah. There's no questioning.
There's no like. What ifs or anything like that,
Right. Yeah.

(26:55):
And like, simultaneously, I don't ever want to relive that
day again. And also like, there's something
about it that just is like, so Idon't even know how to put it
into words, but there's just something so meaningful about
it. Yeah.
Well, that's a really big thing.Yeah.

(27:15):
That's not a small thing to be in the presence of somebody.
Like, how often are we ever going to experience that in
life? Hopefully not a lot.
Yeah, right. Let's knock on one there.
But so like that, that's a huge momentous life changing for
them, right. This this life has this sheath,
this thing is no longer Yeah, this vessel.

(27:38):
You have left your vessel and you are and and you are also at
the same time a completely changed person because you've
now witnessed the full circle, the full completion.
Yeah, of a life. Yeah.
And it's. So wild how you can feel like I
I. Like felt a soul.
Felt hurt. Yes.
It's I, It's, it's. It feels inexplicable.

(27:59):
Yeah. So anyway, what's your favorite
color? Oh no, well, this question, OK,
great, here we go #4 what's fluffing up?
What's something seemingly smallthat had a big impact on who you

(28:21):
are today? Seemingly small.
Seemingly small. Seemingly small.
Let's say it one more time. Seemingly, seemingly.
Small, small. That's a what?
A. Interesting question, seemingly

(28:42):
small that makes a big impact onwho you are today.
Man, I'm having a hard time. OK, let's try the next one.
Wait, do you want to come back? No, no, no.
Hold on. No.
No, no, just give me, just give me a second.

(29:04):
No, no, you know, is it, I don'tknow if it's seemingly small.
Well, we won't know until you say it.
I think just my my high school sweetheart.
Oh. His mom was just lovely and
wonderful and always took care of me and was concerned about my
experience and made me feel likea person and didn't make me feel

(29:24):
bad for who I was. And one could say that that's
seemingly small. But like, there I can't think of
like, any specific thing that she did.
It was just like how she treatedme that had made a huge impact
on me because I was like, oh, itwas like the first time I ever
realized that, like, yeah, I wasenough.

(29:47):
Yeah. I don't know.
Being. Seen by somebody, not family.
Yeah, you know, has to love you.Yeah, yeah.
You know, it's like somebody just chose to love you.
Yeah. Which is nice.
Yeah, that's good. Yeah.
And she there was never like anyone significant thing that she
did. It was just like she just loved
me. That reminds me, I think,

(30:09):
because, I mean, I was having a hard time with that one.
I was like something small, but that reminded me of a sophomore
year. I was going through a hard time.
I was just real angry. Sure, there's the common thread.
Sure. And instead of it was my

(30:31):
softball coach, who was she had,she was a alumni of the high
school and she was, you know, just ended up being the the
softball coach. And she was driving me to a
theater. She's driving me to like a show
or rehearsal or something because she was helping my
family out. I don't know why we're doing

(30:52):
that, but she turned into more of a friend, right?
She was young, so she was an alumni.
She has my brother's age and so only two years older than me.
Oh wow. OK.
Yeah, and so it like, or maybe she's three years because Ross
is only two years older than me.But anyway, so she was back to
help and she asked me. Instead of just being like, stop

(31:15):
doing that, stop being so mean, she asked me why are you so mad?
And like somebody asking me, it made me instead of just judging
myself, it made me think of like, why?
It made you ask yourself a. Question.
It made me ask myself a questionand the answer was easy for me
to find. I was like it was a family.

(31:38):
I was mad at my mom for something and instead of dealing
with it, I would just take it out on myself and I would take
it out on her, but I couldn't. I understand why are you so mad
instead of I'm just mean, it waslike, why are you so mad?
Yeah, I was just like, yeah, made a huge.

(31:58):
I think about that all the time.And I think about that all the
time when parenting my children.Instead of being accusatory,
it's like ask question, ask the right question, or ask any
questions instead of just yes, accusing, don't point a finger.
Ask a question, open the conversation, right?
Cool. I love that.

(32:19):
OK, OK. Who in your life has influenced
your values the most and how this.
Influenced my values. Yeah, influenced my values.
Values. What are value?
I mean, my parents. Yeah, I'm close with my parents.

(32:44):
I love my parents. We don't see eye to eye and.
All the things but like, sure. I think.
That's going to be my short, my short and sweet answer.
My parents. Can you can you name the?
Values that you feel like. No.
And I'm like all of them values,like loving my family.

(33:07):
Yeah. You know, family comes first.
That is something that I think we disagree sometimes on.
It's like the family is the mostimportant.
We bend over backwards for our family.
And I don't believe that I will meet you halfway.
I will always meet halfway. But you got to show me that

(33:31):
you're willing to meet me the other way.
Yeah. Because otherwise, then no, you
don't get my magic. Sorry.
I want your magic. But.
But it has to be mutual. Yeah.
And. And so that in our adulthood,
like between my brother and I, we've had the, I've had that
conversation with my my parents like, well, when we're dead and
gone, what are you going to do? When I was like, I'm going to

(33:55):
cross that bridge when I get there.
But also like, you know, I'm going to love my brother and
hopefully he loves me back. And I do love my brother.
He's one of my favorite people, but we just have different
priorities in our lives. And so we move in different in
different ways, but I think thatthe common goal is the same.

(34:17):
But it has had. There's been a conversation
about it where it's like. I want to be.
I want to. Be your family.
Yeah. So this is how I function.
I'm not going to just be the little sister.
Yeah. And just be protected.
No, no, no. I want a friend who has been
there my whole life, man. Somebody said that the other
day. They were like, you know, out of

(34:37):
all the relationships, your siblings are the ones that are
through and through. Oh, yeah, right.
They are. I mean, they, they're they they
have seen you in every aspect ofyour life.
They will. And they've been closest to it.
And they've been closest to it. And I like hearing that.
And that changed the perspectiveon me.
I was like, I want to like, growthat.
I want to foster that. And so like, yeah.

(34:59):
But also like knowing you're worth.
My parents have given me. Allowing me to take up.
Space trying to figure out who Iam and why I function the way I
do. I think came the the seed was
planted by my mom and then I've had to do a lot of watering on
that plant. So yeah, I think, I think, yeah,

(35:23):
I think that's good. Those are good ones.
Yeah, I think probably for me, it's also my family.
Yeah, I think. Honesty.
Integrity. Those are those are like big,
big from my dad. Integrity's a big one.
Doing the right thing, Trust manDoing.
The. Right thing, even if it's not

(35:44):
the popular thing. That's a good one.
That's a good one, yeah. Always doing the right thing,
just like. Getting out and.
Being in the world and seeing the world and, you know, he, we
were super active growing up andhe was always taking us skiing
and fishing and camping and we were always having an adventure.

(36:07):
Yeah, and that's a big one for me too.
Yeah. Life has to be an adventure for
my mom. Just like the open mindedness of
the world not deciding that any way of life is is one right way
or or any way of being is one right way.
We she was she was good about. Just exposing us to different.

(36:28):
Like different religions, like different, you know, like we
went to a Unitarian church and but then she also exposed us to
like native spiritual traditions.
And yeah, I remember going with her to a sweat lodge once when I
was like 10. I thought I was going to die.
I was, I thought I was going to die.

(36:49):
My mom went through a Native American.
Phase where she was like really intrigued and like researching
and like diving into it. We went through a phase there,
whereas like we had to draw a card every morning of like, you
know, did you have dream? Catchers in the house.
Yeah, Yeah. Feathers.
She was a teacher and she had her hall pass Was it was a

(37:13):
coyote leg with AI believe it was a turtle rattle on the end.
On the end. Sorry, yeah, I'm not even by my
microphone. So it was a coyote leg, and if
you had to go to the bathroom, you had to carry the coyote leg
like a taxidermy coyote. Leg or like a bone?
Oh, like a whole ass leg, like fur, Fur on it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the it's got the foot on it.

(37:36):
Yeah, it was a moment. Did it have like a Jingle jangle
on it? It was a rattle.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, that was a turtle
show, Yeah. And 'cause I mean, she was like
the, the kinky musical theatre gal, you know, like, or, you
know, the arts gal. So yeah, that was yeah.
But what I did love about that is like my mom was the same open
minded, like we're looking at all the people.

(37:57):
Yeah. And we're.
Experiencing all the experienceswe had, we she brought Tibetan
monks in at one point to into Salem to do like this sand
mandala presentation and like wehoused one of them, a couple of
them, our neighbor across like they were just there's monks
everywhere there. Are monks everywhere?

(38:19):
God, what else did she do? I mean, like, she was always
going on like writing retreats and in like, you know, the San
Juan Islands and like, we were always just tagging along.
So like, the the idea of like exposing yourself to people who
do not live like you, which I think is such an incredibly

(38:39):
valuable lesson. And unfortunately, we live in
such a large country where it's very easy to put your blinders
on and only expose yourself to people who look and act and
think and behave and navigate the world like you.
I think it's incredibly damagingto go through life only
believing that people like you have validity in the world.

(39:04):
And so that's a value that that I really, I hold very high and
prioritize passing on to my children.
You know, like a lot of our lifedecisions have been rooted in
that mindset. Yeah, all forms of life.
Yeah, yeah. Oh, When I moved to New York, I
was like, whoa, look at all the colorful.

(39:26):
People. You know, it was, it was, it
was, it was a moment. It was a core, core memory for
me. Like just stepping off into New
York, Manhattan and being like, whoa, It's so refreshing to.
Me which after just being there for a week, like all of the
different nationalities, all thedifferent cultures you, like,

(39:46):
you are walking down the street and at any given time, people
around you are speaking multipledifferent languages.
Like you just, it's such a strangely unifying thing because
like you, there is still like a shared experience even when
you're not speaking the same language or going like
practicing your religion in the same way, but everyone's still.

(40:08):
Yeah, I was worried about that. Living where we live, and I was.
But what's amazing is in our neighborhood, we have a full
melting pot in our, we have every kind of culture in our and
religion. And I mean, we've gotten to see
like Kwanzaa celebrations. And I'm going to remember or
forget everything that we've seen ever in my life what we've

(40:31):
gotten to see. So the boys are seeing all of
that because I, yeah, I went to high school.
It was like 5 black kids in US and I was and then so yeah,
going it was a culture shock forsure.
And not that wasn't intentional,right?
That's just how it was. And but yeah, OK, OK.

(40:53):
We're on. Oh, what's a dream or goal
you've had since childhood that you still secretly hold onto A.
Goal that I had. Since childhood that I still a
dream or a goal a. Dream or a goal that I had
since. Childhood that I still secretly
hold onto. Dream or a?

(41:23):
Goal that I've had since childhood that I still secretly.
I don't keep many secrets. Secrets are not really like my
what secret thing. Is that what you said?
Secretly hold on to Yeah, No, not the secrets.
But what is the one that you hold on to?
You don't. Even have to be secret.
About it, yeah, it's not secret.Paving my own path, like living

(41:45):
my own life. I've gotten, I've done.
I always wanted to travel. I've done a decent amount of
that. I wanted to perform.
I did a decent amount of that, yeah.
You know the only thing I. Didn't get to do is become a
doctor. Really wanted to be an
obstetrician, you know, a lot ofstuff.
Though I do know a lot of stuff.And I know a lot of doctors.

(42:07):
Yeah, I know a doctor. And.
I work with them, but I didn't become I've seen a doctor once,
one time I. Went to a doctor.
Yeah, that I still hold on. To.
I mean, that speaks a lot. That speaks a lot that you've
you've had the dream and you made it a reality.

(42:29):
Yeah, I think the only. Dreams that like aren't, well,
the billionaire well. Yeah.
Yeah, being a billionaire, whichis not really a dream anymore, I
don't need to have that much money.
But I've met those people and I don't want to be them.
But other than that, it's like Iwouldn't even call them dreams
like I wanted to. I wanted to, you know, be in the

(42:50):
lights of no, be in Hollywood. I wanted to like, go to the
Oscars. I don't like none of that
appeals to me anywhere, no. Yeah, I think that I I've done
the childhood dream of like wanting to perform.
I do it still. Yeah, so like I'm still doing
it, but 100% has started to shift of like do I wanna do

(43:12):
that? What are what are some because
like being on Broadway, but evenwhen I was young, I was like
being on a Broadway seems like alot like you have to there's a
lot that that isn't talked aboutthat you have to do and the
sacrifices I I've not one to sacrifice.

(43:32):
In a negative way. For really anything, you know,
I'm just like, because my, because I respect the deathbed
too much, right. I'm like at the end of my life,
I want to look back and be like,I traveled, I experienced, I
loved hard. I lost hard.
Like I did all of the things that I wanted to do.
And I've never had a job that I would allow get in the way of

(43:56):
any of that. If it wasn't giving me
something, I was out. Yeah.
So, you know, so there's that. I love that.
I love that one. Yeah.
Oh my gosh. I actually just ran.
Somebody came and it was such a beautiful moment.
I talk about you're never too old to like pick up the dreams.
There was there's this guy, I don't don't know her, but she's

(44:18):
a local. She saw Bohemia and she was
inspired by like grown-ups doingit, I guess, and and singing.
And she now like got she went into classes, come on, did like
a little competition and like I because a friend, a friend of

(44:41):
mine was like, Hey, by the way, this person's doing this.
And, you know, we saw Bohemian and she said it inspired her.
And I just wanted to like let you know that positive things
came and like all this stuff, like somebody was inspired by
you. And so I reached out to the gal
and I was like amazing. Like I'm so like, like proud of
you. It's hard to like be, you know,

(45:03):
out there and be like, I'm oldernow and is it stupid to pick up
dreams? And I'm like not even a little
bit big. No.
And I told her I was like, we'refine wines.
We get better with age, right? So get out there and now, like
she's she told me she got hired to do like Anne of Green Gables
and like, OK, I was like, yes, way to go.

(45:26):
Way to leak, lean in way to likedo the uncomfortable thing and
like believe in yourself. Yes, at a time.
When you're supposed to be like quote, UN quote, set in your
yeah, whatever, set in your, whatever there's.
No, there's no set. Anymore so if you're listening.
Good job you did it so. She did say she was like I.
See, you just opened it or did apodcast or Oh yeah, she's
listening. I hope you're listening, 'cause

(45:47):
that's 'cause she's inspiration.Because you're an inspiration.
Because that, that was truly inspired me.
I was like, what dreams have I not leaned into because I've
been scared? Yeah, or.
Because you've decided you're too old or two, whatever.
Yeah, yeah. There's that negative.
Self talk again. Yeah, OK.
How do you define home and wheredo you feel it most?

(46:12):
This is cheesy, but it's. Pat, that's not cheesy.
Yeah, that's Pat. That's not cheesy at all.
Home is a Home is a place for sure.
I mean a a a feeling not attached to a place is what I
meant to say. I got you.
I will. Say, I mean, like there is a
time where my parents travel a lot and when they're out of
town, we don't go to their houseright there, have strangers

(46:33):
staying there to like watch their house.
And so we don't ever go. And I will say that Pat and I,
there's something just like, I mean, it's the house I grew up
in, so there is. That.
The, the nostalgia of it all andlike, seeing my kids there is
very like, I feel safe. Yeah, yeah.
Even though like every time I goto the house, I'm allergic to

(46:55):
everything, like everything inside, everything outside.
Like I always have an asthma attack every time I'm there in
my bed, you know? Which is funny because I'm like,
what's in the wood guys? Like.
They've because they've done. Everything they can to try to
like make it but it's from the 1800s like it's an old farmhouse
that they like. Didn't the house get moved it
literally split it in half and moved it from Seattle.

(47:17):
A Victorian farm home farmhouse split it in half and went to
where they lived now put it on flatbed trout and.
Yeah, back in the. Day and they put it back
together back when moving houses.
Was actually cost effective because now it's outrageous.
Yeah. No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. So but.

(47:37):
They live on beautiful land withlike a Creek and the loudest
fucking train you've ever heard.Like Pat, the first time we
stayed there, the train is you could you can literally throw a
rock and hit the train. That's how.
But to me, where is it? Oh.
It's on the other side of the Creek.
Yeah, so there's the Creek and then there's a a railroad track.
And so have I just never been there when the.

(47:59):
Dreams come by, maybe because itis alarming.
For people who have. Experienced more but like.
It put lols me to sleep like youknow, anytime I it's away when
you yeah, I don't. Hear it and.
So the first time Pat was, and it happened at like 3:00 in the
morning, it was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
And he's like, Oh my God. Do you think the train was
going? Through your house sometimes

(48:20):
when there's a lot of entrance. Yeah, sure, sure.
Yeah. But I love it.
I have a Choo. Choo, you know, a Choo.
How are you my? Home is also people.
It was my grandmother. It's at times it's my parents,
my brother. Yeah, for sure.
Do you have like an unspoken? Like language or like mind meld

(48:44):
with your brother, Yeah. Ross and I are the.
Same where like we get together and it is Pat, he's it.
He's like, 'cause we'll have even inside jokes that we aren't
even inside, you know, or just like we have those nostalgic
moments where like, remember, or, you know, like all the
things. But it is very, very specific

(49:08):
and special, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's not just us. No, I think there's something
very special about. About our sibling relationship
as adults. Yeah, my best friend from high
school, Vanessa, she feels like home to me, Nick.
It's people. Yeah, it's people.

(49:28):
It's people for sure. Also, I don't have my my
childhood home is not no more isno more.
But also I had so many, you know, we moved a lot.
We I had we were in one home until I was 5.
And I don't think that that would feel nostalgic to me at
all. But like my my parents home, but
my dad and my stepmoms home thatwe were in from like 6th grade

(49:49):
until they only sold it a coupleof years ago.
I was very sad when they sold it.
That home felt like home ish to me.
My grandparents home really feltlike home.
It's weird to drive by it now. And like you know, people have
done things like renovate and add on and there's like a porch
on the back where there didn't used to be a porch and there's
like a fence around it now. And I'm like who are you and why

(50:10):
do you think you would just go into your own home and change
everything? Because it's not.
You know, my grandparents, they left us a house, Bras and I,
when my grandmother passed and they, my grandfather was a pilot
and lived on one of those like airfields, right, with all the
old folks who all have a plane and that they called it the Taco

(50:32):
Bell house because it was like, here's all these ramblers, all
these like one story old people live here.
And then this Aztec looking TacoBell house literally in the
middle. It was like stucco walls and it
looks like a Chihuahua in the in100 Watt Ling Taco Bell.
Like like an. Arizona house like it was like

(50:54):
what is that house? And they gave it to us when they
both passed. It was like in the will so we
could sell it and that's how we could afford our home.
And so thanks. Thanks guys.
But that also felt very like home.
And he tell like, I went there once before we sold it and I was
like, this is probably the last time.

(51:14):
And I got so sad. Yeah, so sad.
It's like a little part of my heart.
Yeah, Yeah, 'cause it's part of it is.
Part of who you are. Yeah.
Yeah, I get it. Oh wait.
It's your turn. I.
Love this one. If your emotions were colors,
what color have you been feelingmost often lately and why?

(51:39):
Rainbow A. Rainbow A.
Rainbow, a rainbow. I do not feel one color.
I feel all the colors. I feel all the feelings.
Yeah. I feel and shades and shades,
Yeah. I would say lately the colors
have been more pigmented, you know?

(52:00):
But also, we do live in the Pacific Northwest and it's
summer. It's summertime.
I'm like, yeah. Give me a bright ass short.
Yeah, come on. I'm like, I'm like, we are
alive, we are living. Talk to me in winter though.
She's shades, then she's. Gray.
She's, yeah, white. Shades of Gray, Dark Gray, Not
50. Though.
Nah, definitely not 50, no. Well, I think that's great.

(52:21):
Yeah, yeah. What about you?
Boom, poor. Nick, you don't have to shush
them. It's fine.
I don't think we can hear them. And if we can, we have children.
Surprise, surprise. They're children on here.
Oh crap. It's it's fine.
We good, we good, we're close. If your emotions were colors,
what would it be? It would be a rainbow.
I agree with everything. You just said right, move on.
Wait. Wait, is your turn?

(52:43):
Oh. No, I asked that one.
Wait. Oh, you're right.
Damn it, what's a part of your personality that you think is
misunderstood by most people? Well.
The biggest one, this is a this is a new one, But I am, I am
that my when I am passionate about something, it comes off as

(53:04):
aggressive, Yeah. That's the same for me.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm just feeling my feelings. Yeah.
And I'm not, I'm not. I'm not raging.
At you? Yeah, I'm not.
It has nothing to do with you. Yeah, Unless it does.
But it doesn't usually. Have to do with the person it
just like and that's that's bit me in the ass more times than

(53:25):
not because I'm just passionately living and people
are like, why are you so aggressive?
And I'm like, I'm not aggressive.
I'm passionate about it, yes, I feel bigly and.
Deeply. I feel bigly and deeply.
And outwardly. I don't.
Stuff it down. No.
I let it out. Yeah, but even switching.

(53:47):
That in my head, even when, you know, Pat and I are like having
conversations and I am gesticulating Yeah, like until
my arm's off and he's like, you know, you're getting pretty
passionate over there. Over there, which is code for
like you're getting a little like you don't have to be so
aggressive, which he would he would not say, but it was it was

(54:08):
a moment for us as a couple whenwe made that realization
together. It's like I am not being
aggressive at you I am passionately living and there is
a difference. Yeah.
Yeah, it's definitely the same for me.
My. My yeah, my feelings are large
and deep and outward, and that is part of who I am.

(54:30):
And I will not suppress or change who I am to make other
people feel comfortable. That's a hard lesson for me.
I'm trying to learn. That yeah.
And well, I'll say it's an ongoing lesson for me.
But what that means is that you are going to see my large, deep,
wide, broad outward feelings and.
And I'm a verbal processor, so Italk through everything.
So I'm talking through it and I'm feeling through it.

(54:51):
And when I am heated about something, I talk faster, I talk
louder. I get like super spun up.
Like my brain goes, all the bad ideas have to come out.
With all the good ideas, yeah. Every idea has to come out of my
mouth full. That's exactly right, yeah.
And that is seen for a number ofthings.
And that's just it's, you know, because I don't present as like

(55:12):
a as like a demure, you know, well spoken.
It's just not. I'm just a person.
I'm just a person and I just a person.
And I feel, yeah, so. Get into it.
Or get out of it. Yeah.
Oh, wait. Oh, we're on the last one.

(55:34):
When do you feel most like your true self?
Oh man. I feel most like my true self
when. I.
Am with the people that feel like home.

(55:59):
When I am. Exploring something new, like
when I am in a foreign country, like when we are like I think
about there was a Christmas thatNick and I went to like Poland
and Hungary and Slovenia and Croatia and we just did like a

(56:19):
European heavens tour. And just like being out in the
world around no one that I know,around languages that I don't
speak, and just like exploring and learning and being
completely out of my element. There was something about that.
That makes me feel so much like myself, makes me feel alive.
Makes. Me feel alive and and makes.

(56:41):
Me feel it. There's like the such a raw
experience to it because you're not prepared for anything and
you really are just like going blind into whatever The thing
is, right? Like even if it's just walking
out of your hotel, there's something about that that just
makes me feel so much anxiety. I love it like it scares me so

(57:06):
maybe that'll be my next. My next goal is to live out loud
in different places like you do lol lol lol.
Do it. What about you?
I the 1st. Thing that came to mind is when
I teach like I feel I am unapologetically myself, my most

(57:28):
my most self when I'm teaching which is.
It's kind of scary. Because it is like, well, I
could say anything. I mean, we talked about back
farting yesterday. Well, it happens it.
Happens and I was like. Well, let us engage a little bit
more so we're not back farting right But, but.

(57:50):
I mean, I have, you know, the. Answer of like.
My. I will say like my my true self
is yeah, sure, at home with witheverybody, but like my most.
Proud Self. Is there like teaching and or

(58:12):
when I am C and I'm like. I'm in charge.
What I say is, you know, making people, giving them joy, and I'm
still able to be my sassy self. Yeah, like I'm sassy.
I'm sassy and funny without having to apologize for it.
If you're offended, get out of my show.

(58:33):
Yeah, sorry, this is my show. You can't have your fucking
money back, bro. You know, like that's never
happened yet. But but I I think that that's my
when I feel like all my Spidey senses are like on are firing.
Yeah, is when I'm like, that's my.
True self. I feel I haven't taught it's.

(58:54):
Hard though. Yeah, you know, yeah.
Keeping that stamina your spicy.Sense going for that long like
yeah, yeah, keeping that much ofyou that outward.
For that long until it takes a lot of energy, especially as an
introvert. Yeah, I haven't taught in a
number of years. So it's sort of like not in the
forefront of my mind anymore. But when you said that it it's.
That sounds very familiar. I feel, I feel most like myself

(59:17):
when I teach, when I was teaching, I because it is like
you. To be a good teacher of
anything, you have to be authentically yourself.
That's the only way you can communicate and relay the
message in a way that's going toland with people.
If you try to be someone else and communicate the message,
it's not going to land because it's not authentic.
And it's always more fun. Yeah, it's way more fun when you
get. To be yourself.

(59:38):
But yeah, teaching I definitely that's like a that's AI mean
it's because it's all performing.
Right, there's perform, it's performative.
It's it's performative, but it'sstill.
You, you're not, you're not putting on another character.
You are just you. But I think that's why I love.
Bohemia so much is because it that character.
I mean, I'm the only person who's played that character.

(01:00:00):
But she is me on cocaine and quaaludes and and I I feel like
I'm on cloud 10. So thank you Mark and Opal for
creating that. Go see Bohemia if it happens
again. But when I get to like embody
that character, it is it's like a drug for me.

(01:00:22):
She a lot of fun because she's. So much.
Fun. I mean like.
And it was. She's one of those characters
that changed me. Mm hmm, for the better where I
was like, well, if she can live like that, why can't?
Why can't I? Yes, why can't I be like that?
And so like, I have AI, can't they?
There was a Art Nouveau picture of this like beautiful, you

(01:00:47):
know, goddess painted. And if you look close enough,
she's giving the middle finger. And it was backstage for some
reason. And but I was like, that's
Wormwood. Like that is that's, that's who
she is. And I asked, I was like, can I
have this, please? And she lives in my house.
She lives on my desk. I love that.
It's just like a gentle. Reminder of like.

(01:01:08):
She is beauty. She is grace.
And she is fuck you all wrapped up as she can get out of here.
She's like going to take up space and sorry if it hurts your
feelings, not sorry. But sorry not sorry you.
Deal with your own feelings, yeah?
But when I can find characters. Like that and like, dive in like
that or live that way just even a little bit.
I mean, without hurting people. Yeah.

(01:01:31):
Yeah. Then I'm all.
About it. So you're here.
You're here. Speaking of here, we're glad
you're there. We're glad you're here.
Thanks for being here guys for our 10th.
Episode, which does I mean, it'sonly 10, right?
Like, yeah. But it.
We've recorded. So many.

(01:01:51):
More. We have recorded so many more.
But like, it still feels crazy that we've that there's 10
episodes of us out in the world,out in the world and you guys
are sharing. And if you haven't shared,
please. And so far, nobody hates us.
So far, that we know. Of we haven't.
Gotten any? No hate mail, yet, no hate.
Mail yet, but listen. If you.

(01:02:12):
Want to send us hate mail? Do it.
Do it. I want to know what you hate.
I'm curious. It's everything.
[e-mail] Yeah, Tell us what you hate and why.
Like. Share, follow, comment, do all
the things that everybody who has a podcast tells you to do
and and thanks. For being here.
And keep keep telling us how youfeel.

(01:02:36):
Keep trying to find your true. Self, we believe in you.
We. Believe in you.
Boom Shaka. See you next Tuesday.
Bye. Hi.
Oh. My God.
Sawyer and I have to peel out. You have to be it, hey.
Ball with a bunch of four. Year olds.