E12 Adult Friendships: Electric Boogaloo

We had more to say (surprise) about adult friendships. We're flipping the script from our last #kthottake to celebrate the beauty of the complexity of adult friendships: more opportunities to be seen and understood, fewer friendships out of obligation, and our personal favorite- the ability to simultaneously support one another and have the time of your life doing it. Oh, there's also some Liver King, Bob Ross, and a handful of other topics that have no business being part of this episode.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Oh my gosh, we watched the liverking.
What's that? Oh, the liver king Kimberly,
what is it? Pat was like you guys got to
talk about this on the podcast. It's literally he was like in a
YouTube TikTok sensation yoked. I mean yoked and all he would
do. He's ancestral living and so he.

(00:22):
Would supplements. So he created supplements, of
course, but he would like eat raw liver and it was like his
like go out his in this documentary about him, he goes
out with his two sons, who you can tell have zero want to be
there. Like our they're going full Jim
Harper on the camera. They're like looking at the
camera being like this guy, Am Iright?

(00:43):
Like, I'm like, that's your dad and his wife.
And they, like, kill a cow and then they go gut it and you
watch them eat. Oh.
No. Straight from it, no and so, but
he is selling himself. People are like or you, you're
on steroids. I mean like just gigantic,
gigantic. And he always said no, always
said no, always said no. And then his blood work got

(01:06):
they. Always say.
No, Yeah. And so he like, it is alarming.
It's like Tiger King, but like with muscles like it was.
He's BANANAS. He's bananas for sure.
And but like talk about and you can tell like how the the
cliffhanger is like he's gonna turn his life into a cult like

(01:26):
he's yeah, if you're sounds likea.
Cult leader. Yeah, call your dad.
You're gonna call because like, because like, yeah, it's really
good. Liver King.
I think it's on. Maybe it's Netflix, I don't
know, but. It's somewhere.
But it was talking about his like core message was really
good. It was like, move your body, get

(01:47):
sunlight. You know, he's all about cold
exposure. Sure, eat from the earth.
All good things, yes, great. As good things go, Power started
to come in and it just exploded his little brain.
And I mean sleeps with like AK-40 sevens over his bed.

(02:08):
Just in case. I don't know.
And they're like painted in gold.
They're like globe gold plated guns all over his house.
Like for decoration or they're functional?
Yes, all of the above I. Think all of the above because
then a lot of the footage was him like out in the field
blowing stuff up with a gun and I was like how's the ancestor
living there? Friends like because that's what

(02:29):
the Cavemen had. Channeling his ancestor 47 so.
I was like, the messaging is unique, but OK.
It was so good. But anyway, Pat was like, you've
got to see if Kimberly's seen itor not.
I. Have not, but now I need to.
Liver king, Liver king, liver king, everybody, and those
supplements sound unique. I mean, oh God, the supplement.

(02:52):
Don't get me started on the social media supplement
industry, but this is that is the thing, right?
Like I'm going to take steroids and not tell anyone and then.
I did this. My vehemently deny that I'm
taking steroids, but which is like such a like it makes me so
upset because wait, to your point, when you have good
messaging, just use the good messaging.

(03:13):
But everyone needs a gimmick to set themselves apart, right?
To like get the shock value, to get a follower of of what am I
trying to say? To get a loyal fanbase and now
if it's real. And none.
Of it's real, he roid it out, but he eaten human.
Yeah, his the growth hormone, human growth hormone was in

(03:33):
there, of course, and steroids and like you watch him take it
on on. It was just, it was great.
It's a great documentary. And was he?
Arguing that eating raw liver iswhat made him, what gave him the
ability to bulk up that much. What a fucking asshole.
And that that's what it is. Is this ancestry of living like
came up with a whole he's a snake oil salesman.

(03:54):
Like here's the nine steps. And like people did it.
People went out and there's there's stuff to be said right
about like. Is are his supplements called
Ancestral? Supplements.
You can buy them off Amazon I think.
Yes you can can. Making millions of dollars,
millions and millions of dollarsoff people.

(04:16):
Look at that. Look at.
That's how many supplements you're supposed to.
Take a what is that, 25? Yeah, pills at least.
Yeah, but it's 1020620626 pills.You too can have huge pecs if
you take this. If you take 26 pills a day and
steroids. And he did 1000 push ups a day.
Sustainable for everyone. Of course he did thousand yeah,

(04:40):
1000 push ups. He.
Was pulling. In trucks with his just, you
know, strapped to his truck and like walking naturally.
Everything was, I mean, everything was extreme.
But they have like the CEOs of his company on this documentary
being like, listen, he is livingthe truth.
Like he is he is living it. He is doing it and also he is

(05:00):
doing steroids and he looks likethat because of that, like he
was famous for. He never had a shirt on.
He always like would walk aroundall the podcasts he did, all the
news. I mean he was on like night,
late night shows with no shirt on.
Very tan the tanist. Like dark like bodybuilders.
Tan Yeah, of course. Always just. 24/7.

(05:22):
Yeah, with no shirt, shorts, I think he probably walked.
He like forces kids to walk. They got ACPS was called on them
because they were like watching them on TikTok.
Yeah, forcing their children to eat raw ass liver out of like an
animal. And they're like CPS was called
and then they're like, they saw how well they're well-rounded.
They are. And they left.

(05:43):
And I was like, OK. OK, well.
Different strokes. I guess so when I.
Were you looking? I'm just looking for a picture
of him. What's his name?
Liver King. Liver King just.
Look up Liver King. He there he is.
Oh, a vision to be. Oh, he.
Is a vision. To be Oh yeah and this man

(06:08):
claims to not be on steroids hilarious that's not you're not
on steroids look at that look atthat his every single vein of
his body is exploding the. Amount of steroids he has to be
on. So many steroids, yeah.
That's not from. Yeah, I know, Deep dive.
Is this the liver that you see him eat?

(06:28):
She's a big old bite out of it. Huge.
All things when I. Throw up, I know Oh yeah, it's
real hard to like that part was hard to watch cause like, Oh
yeah. And not just the liver, like,
you know, all the organs, all the organs.
It was a lot about testicles. People would be like, have you
had testicles? He's like, yeah, those are the
best part. He was like, have you had penis?
And they're like, he's like, yeah, I've eaten a penis like

(06:51):
vagina and he's like, not. Those ones, What's the matter,
bud? They're not tasty.
What? What?
Oh wait, I have to come get. That's terrifying.
What? Well, I have to go get Pat
before I get Sawyer, so. OK, so.
So listen, still two. Yeah, let's just say two.

(07:12):
Yeah, yeah, right. Great.
Yes. And.
Yeah, OK. What are we?
OK, who are we? We got.
Who are we? Who am I?
Who are you? Who am I?
Hi, what are we doing here 8? 29740.
My God. Pat gets a hell of a pissed when
I'm. Gonna say so many people are so

(07:35):
angry. It's not fun to sing in the
normal way. That's boring everybody.
That's what everyone expects. To be fair, I don't know the
real numbers. It's 246 O1. 246 O1.
Oh well, that's fine. It's not as fun.
It's not. No, no, I live on the edge,
always. Even my Les Miss World.

(07:57):
It's just some slight rewrites, you know, just it's.
Fine, it couldn't use a mash up.Any who do you know that Jinx
Monsoon is going on into Jinx Seattle?
Jinx Monsoon. Yeah, she's.
She's going into Hamilton for like a 1:00-ish for like one
night only I don't know her and the Jessie, I don't know.

(08:18):
He was on Glee. But they're going into, they're
going for like one night only. One night only 'cause she's.
Playing they, they are playing Mama.
What's? In Pirates, what?
Do you call it no Chicago? Not anymore.
Come on, she's moved on. She's now in piracy I think.
Pirates of Penzance with. Oh, and the.

(08:41):
Guy from Frazier. Going into going into Hamilton
with Darren Criss. Yes, not Jesse.
Who's Jesse? I don't know.
No, that was his character. I don't know.
I didn't watch Glee. I'm a bad musical theatre
person. I did not get into.
I was like, no. I couldn't.
I had a real hard time with thatRachel Berry.
She just rubbed me, rubbed me the wrong way and I said I don't
feel like this. I don't feel safe with that.

(09:04):
I don't. She makes me feel icky.
What? He's OK, so it doesn't.
Anyway, I don't I saw it on online.
Yeah. Which everything is real, as we
just found out, so maybe it's not, but I know I they did put
up like because Pat was like Jake is going into Hamilton.

(09:25):
I was like, well, that's a weirdturn.
OK, 'cause he's she just opens pirates, I believe.
But anyway. It's the ham for ham.
It's where they. So proud.
Yeah, you know, Yeah. Little Jinxy up there doing
great things. Yeah.
Come on. Crushing it in that witch world
too. You love it?
Yeah, the start of the SO. Fire.

(09:49):
So fire it's on. We haven't even introduced this
podcast by the OH. Hi, guys. 15 minutes in, let's
introduce it. Hi, I'm Tori.
Hi, I'm Kimberly. And welcome to.
It's nothing. It's everything podcast.
You got it. I know you heard the name.
I have really been working on it.
That's growth, babe. Yeah, proud of you.

(10:11):
It's only taken me 700 weeks butit's fine.
Better than never, yeah, You know.
Thanks for being here everybody.Thanks for listening.
I I hope you have liked shared, listened, commented, saved,
saved. You can comment on every single

(10:31):
episode. Oh, look at that.
Which I think is excessive. No.
But not, I mean, now that I knowit's true, please do it.
Please do it, even if it's just some hearts.
Yeah, you could just do emojis. Yeah, it could be controversial
if you like God, Tori's fucked up.
Lame is then yell about me if. If something pissed you off,

(10:52):
leave a comment, we'll talk about it on the podcast.
Yeah, bring it on. Yeah, I'm in my bring it on era
right now. I'm here for it.
We're taking up space. We are taking up space
unapologetically. Yeah, kindly but
unapologetically. Because whose life is this?
Maine. That's right, yeah.
God bless, not anyone else's. But to be fair, I don't know

(11:16):
what we're talking about. I was just going to say that
what are we talking about? What are we talking about today?
I mean, we've had quite the myriad of topics already.
Ilover King Jinx, Bless, we saidour names.
We did, obviously a very important topic.
I don't. I honestly don't I.
Don't. I don't know either.
I know we were going to. I think we'll have to do the

(11:41):
intro. Yeah, Later, yes, after whatever
we're talking. Definitely when we talk about
talking about let me just we talked, we texted about it
yesterday. We was it.
The second we talked about friendship, we wanted to talk.
Yeah, yeah, let's do you know, let's do that Friendship 2 point
O great. Yeah, friendship, friendship

(12:01):
Part 2, because we talked about adult friendships and how hard
it is to navigate adult friendships, which is lay truth
and also in the interest of not going full negative.
Yeah. Right.
Like we can validate for everyone that that like making
adult friends is really freakinghard.
And especially when you're a parent and all that is true and

(12:23):
valid. And also, there are some really
wonderful, really beautiful things that come out of adult
friendships that I think are unique to adult friendships
because they are so much more intentional than when you're
younger. Yeah.
And you've just experienced morelife like you just have been
through so much by the time by the time you get here.

(12:50):
By the time you're here, I mean,yeah, but they are.
I mean, I don't know even what I'm going to say.
We here's what I here's what I really love about the adult
friendships in my life, like thepeople that are very close to me
because when I look at my closest friends, it really is
like a hodgepodge of people fromall different corners of my

(13:12):
life. My best friend from high school,
we are still very close, but shelives 3000 miles away.
You and I are very close, but wehave like, you know, sort of
ebbed and float over the years. We lived in the same place, then
we lived 3000 miles apart, then we lived 10,000 miles apart.
Now we live in the same city again.
And then like one of my very good friends I met working in

(13:34):
Equinox and I'm still close withwell, I I still talk often like
Instagram meme clothes. I don't know how close that is.
Yeah, in. Today's world, I think that's
pretty actual, yeah. That's a lot of effort.
Yeah, we, we. Regularly send multiple memes
every week. That kind of meme clothes.
Not like once every, you know, not once in a blue moon.

(13:55):
Once in 1/4. But she was my best friend from
elementary school. She lived next door to me.
Yeah. So it's like a really diverse
crowd, yes, of people who I'm close to, but we all, we all
like, have a how do I even say what I'm trying to say?
There's just like a mutual respect and understanding that

(14:17):
defies drama and bullshit. Yeah, I think that's The thing
is like keeping each other accountable.
Yeah, 2 Like I have people and and having those people around
you that you you're like, this is my person I lean on when I'm
going through this. Yeah, You know, like, I have my

(14:37):
level headed babes. I'm like, you're one of them.
My friend Sasha, who's a friend of the pod.
Hey, Rahe, Thanks for being here.
Thanks for being here. We love you.
She is also that person where I'm like, I don't know, like
social constructs, like social moments where I'm like, is this
appropriate? And she can always, you know,

(14:58):
give me some kind of work aroundand, like, make me understand
the scenario. I don't even know if that makes
sense, but like, yeah, I have just those, those different
groups of friends that it's like, this is what I need right
now and they're going to always accept whatever shows up, which
is nice because, yeah, I think it's when you get older, you

(15:20):
aren't, you're not here for the bullshit.
Yeah. And because you have that, like,
safety in those friendships, youcan be whatever version of
yourself is showing up. Whereas like with a newer
friend, you can't because you just don't have that level of
intimacy yet or that level of like trust with one another.
Man, it's great to have those friends where you can just show
up and be like, I don't have it.I have no pants on.

(15:41):
Yeah, I ain't got it today. I couldn't.
Even put pants on. No pants on.
Much spaghetti legs around. I got noodles everywhere.
The amount of comments I get about the spaghetti.
People love the spaghetti. Legs.
Listen, that's going to be our first merge.
That's true. A mug with skinny.
Legs. Oh I was thinking just like
leggings that have actual noodles hanging off.
Halloween's going to get lit. I saw this great metaphor or

(16:07):
there was a great metaphor I heard about a tree and
friendships and adult friendships where it's like you
have your you have your root people, you have your people.
Sometimes it's family, sometimesit's not.
But like, they have always been there.
They're the life. They're the lifers, right?
And then there's the branch people who are like a little
bit, they're sturdy and they're around and they're, you know,

(16:28):
they're attached to the trunk, but they're not the trunk.
They're not. Yeah.
They kind of waver in the wind, yeah.
And come and go. And then there's those, those
seasonal flowers that are like, they're here and then they're
gone and and that's OK. They're beautiful when they're
here. And then they die and we have to
let them die so that we can haveanother beautiful flower kind of

(16:49):
like come into our lives. And that really helped me with
the transition of friendships. Like being like, there's some
like core people who I will always turn to and will always
be there. And then there's, you know,
those like people who are just kind of like in and out of my
life. They're acquaintances and or
friends, but like, friend, friendly acquaintances.

(17:10):
And then there's those people who are just like, you're here
for a good time and then you're going to leave.
Yeah. And that's really, really OK.
It took me a long time to be OK with the flower friends.
The flower people are the hardest people.
Because I, I, well, definitely when I was younger, I would take
everything personally, right? It must be me.
If I must have done something, Imust not be good enough.

(17:30):
It must be my fault. It must be whatever.
And like, I'm sure there were too.
Much. Yeah, well, yes.
And I'm sure there are times where that was true, but but
that's also it, I guess really what it took me a long time to
accept was like, that's OK. And like that's a blessing in
disguise. If if somebody perceives me as
too much, if somebody perceives me as like, whatever it is about
my person, my character, that doesn't sit well with them.

(17:53):
That means that we're not meant to be in each other's lives.
And that is a two way St. That is not a one way St.
We if, if I, if you don't believe I'm meant to be in your
life, then then that also tells me that you're not meant to be
in my life. And it took me quite some time
to be comfortable with that mindset.
And I think too, like I, I had awhat am I trying to say?

(18:19):
What are words? How do I make words go together?
I had a tendency to like want toknow what wasn't.
It's the people pleasing right to want to know what wasn't OK
with someone else so that I could fix it.
It's like that doesn't fucking matter.
It doesn't, it doesn't matter ifyou don't like how much I say
fuck, you know what? Sorry, babe.
I respect it. I respect it.

(18:39):
That's how you feel. But I'm not going to change
myself for you. And and it's OK.
Yeah, that's a hard. Lesson and it's OK to not be in
everybody's life forever and it's OK to not have everybody in
your life forever because like that's just the way the cookie
crumbles that's just the way theflower falls sometimes yeah, it
is and that's. OK, yeah, the people pleasing

(19:01):
man, that's going to be the cruxof the biscuit for a lot of
people who out there. And that's why that is so hard.
I mean, I have some, I have somepeople in my life who do that
they like so desperately want also friendship, right?
That they will go above and beyond.
They will show up in whatever capacity that other person
needs. And that is so, that is so has

(19:25):
the potential to be soul sucking.
Yeah. Well, if you can feel that
energy. And it like, and you as the
person who has received that energy, I'm just like, I can
tell you are trying so hard and I all I want in my life is like
people showing up as authentically them as possible
because then I'm like, I can trust it, right?

(19:46):
I'm like, well, I because that'sbig for me is like trust.
I need to trust that you are so you are in somewhat control of
your emotions, that you're not going to put them on me and
expect me to deal with it. And that you're authentically
being who you are. I think that those kinds of
friends who like, want so badly to cultivate a friendship that
they're like, whatever you need,I'll just do it.
That power dynamic makes me feelso uncomfortable.

(20:09):
I don't ever want to feel like Ihave power over someone.
That is not a friendship to me. That dynamic makes me feel so
yucky. I don't.
I don't. That's not that's, that's not.
Yeah. That does not resonate with me.
And. It just makes me sad.
I mean honestly I how I cause agreed that with the power
dynamic like I don't want to be in control of anybody, but it

(20:31):
also just makes me really sad 'cause I'm like you are worth.
Yeah. Taking up the space all by
yourself, if you had nobody around you, you're still worthy
to be here. Yeah.
And. And so for me, it's just really
sad. I just like, it makes me sad for
them, you know, And then I want to save because I'm also a

(20:53):
saver. And so I'm like, it let me
regurgitate all the things that I've, you know, learned about
people pleasing and and all that.
And like, that's also not helpful.
Yeah. For some people you know.
We, there's a term in hospitality or patient care
called Swoop and Save and it's such a, but it, to me, the
visual of it is so good because you literally have to swoop

(21:15):
right? You got to like drop down to
their level to try to pick them back up and lift them up to
whatever level you're at or. The quads you'd get.
The level of care that they deserve or whatever, right?
But it's like in those dynamics where you have this like lost
little puppy kind of energy and you do you believe it's your
responsibility to swoop and save, you then are compromising

(21:39):
your existence to drop down to their level to then try to make
yourself responsible for their happiness and their outcome.
Nobody benefits from that. No, nobody benefits from that
because then you're you don't. You don't sound so horrible to
say, but like you don't belong there.
You don't. No, you did the work.
You did the work to not be there.
Yeah, yeah, Pat. And I'll have those

(22:01):
conversations like in our marriage of like sometimes of
just like in the in the theme ofswoop and save of like yet
again, I want to save. I want to like be helpful.
Yeah, I think that's where my people pleasing cousin is like,
let me help you. I want to save you.
Some people don't want to be saved either.
So some people don't need that in that moment.

(22:22):
They just want to be heard. And that's like Pat.
And I've had that conversation of like, is this is this an
advice moment or is this just a herd moment?
Like do you need just be heard or are you looking for me to
give you help? Because like, I'll just
automatically go in helping and he just wants to like
regurgitate his day and like getthe feelings out.

(22:43):
That's such a valuable question.Such a valuable question to ask.
What are you looking for? How can you?
Do you want me to hold space? Are you looking for advice and
problem solving? What do you need?
And I think that's huge in friendship too, Yeah.
Because yeah, there's those people who come off as know it
alls because they're, I don't think they're intentionally
trying to be know it alls. They're just like, I want to
help and I help with my experiences and my history.

(23:06):
So here's what it all is. And and even in my friendships,
I've had moments of like, do youneed advice or do you need me
just to sit 'cause I can do both.
And that has helped some of the because sometimes those people
get in defensive, right, becausenow you're giving advice that
they have not asked for. Right.

(23:27):
And that they don't. Want so?
And so now you're like, well, you're telling me I did
everything wrong and I'm the asshole, when really now you're
the asshole and now everyone's an asshole.
And so I'm just like, let's sidestep that moment by just
asking a simple question. How do you need me to
communicate with you today? Yeah.
Also, just free framing that your interactions to know that
like the majority of the time, the, I would say probably the

(23:48):
Super majority of the time, everyone is trying to act with
it with positive intention. And so like, if they're not, if
you're not getting what you needfrom that interaction, rather
than immediately deciding that it is like two people against
one another, you can be like, that's not what I need right
now. It took me that that was that's

(24:09):
hard. Yeah, it's hard, but it was,
it's a big moment to be able to say like, don't, don't problem
solve for me right now. I need to sit in it.
I'm not ready to climb out of this hole yet.
Yeah, thank you for bringing me a ladder.
I still want to sit here. And it was, it was really
powerful for me, one, because I love people who aren't afraid of
me. Like I've just been told that

(24:30):
I'm so scary my whole life. Same girl.
And so like, it was the day thatthe record button did not get
hit, the day that no one will ever hear.
Oh. My God.
And your head, your head was exploding.
And I was just like trying to save you from your head
exploding. And you literally turn to me and
you're like, I need to sit in it.
And then I will go. And I said, yeah, babe.
OK, Heard, chef. Just like, yeah, OK.

(24:54):
You weren't afraid to, like, saythat to me.
And I also was open to receivinglike, essentially the shutdown,
which is fine because it wasn't.I was just like, no, OK, she
knows what she needs on it. I will sit here.
And then we got and then it was great and.
We and then we moved on and I was like, that is communication

(25:17):
like at its finest. Yeah, right.
Not taking like and also not assuming the worst of people.
Yeah, not assuming that you're trying to shut down my feelings.
Yes, I didn't think that you were trying to hurt my feelings
because I'm just trying to help you through your feelings.
I didn't think that I was just like, no, she's like showing me
what she needs, telling me what she needs with her big girl
words and I can meet her there instead of like, Oh no, Kimberly

(25:39):
hates me. I was like, no, I no, you know,
because I assume that this you're doing what you need and
I'm going to do what I need. Yeah, instead of like now,
Camberley is a. Bitch, no.
Well, she can't be. Listen, every day is different,
but some days we're going to have those bitchy days because
we're human. Because we are.

(26:01):
And I had to like really refine that skill for myself also
growing up. However you want to look at it.
I'm a strong independent female.I'm an Aries.
However you want to, whatever perspective you want to,
whatever lens you want to see itthrough, right?
Like, I have always been very liberal with all my emotions.
I do not contain my emotions. I have never been a container of

(26:23):
emotions. You're going to see how I feel.
And part of that is part of me processing my emotions sometimes
is just venting. Just venting and it's like.
I, I need to be angry to then get through the anger to go on
to the next thing. I'm not angry at you.
I'm not angry at anything. I just need to be angry and talk

(26:44):
about it so that then I can moveforward.
And man, when I was a kid, the things I would be told like,
one, I was too angry. Two, I was too emotional, I was
too loud, I was too aggressive, I was too opinionated, I was too
judgmental. I was too like the the laundry
list of things where the somebody wanted to put a label

(27:07):
on me. Just trying to get through my
feelings. Me just trying to feel
everything so that I could move on to the next thing.
And I think there were times there's always been like a
strange juxtaposition for me because there have been times
where I've been like, fuck you, I'm going to feel my feelings.
And then there have been other times when I'm like, oh, OK, I
should feel my feelings less or I should keep my feelings to
myself because it's. Going to be too much for.

(27:29):
Them because it's too much for them, it's.
Too scary. It's too scary to see somebody,
like, working through that. Yeah, because I'm also a verbal
processor. Same, Yeah.
Right. And so I think that's us, how we
are moving through the emotion is like, I'm going to throw
every like spaghetti. I'm going to throw all the bad
ideas at the wall and see what sticks.
And that was another moment withPat and I where he was like, do

(27:52):
you just need to verbally vomit?Do you need to vomit right now?
Yeah. And I was like, yes.
And so you're, you're going to hear all the bad.
That's me working through all the bad ideas.
Yes. Right.
I got to get them out so. That I got to get them out so.
Say it out loud to be able to recognize this is not for me.
Like Shrek said, better out thanin, you know, like, like that's
a good motto for my life. Better out than in.

(28:12):
Now knowing who you're safe people are with, that is
important. Not all friendships can handle
that, but all marriages should be able to.
You should know each other. In my opinion, you should know
each other well enough to be like, OK, Tori, she is just
saying things and half of them are going to be bad.
You know, like, and that's, and I think that's OK, but like

(28:35):
understanding that that's part of your process and not being
afraid of it. Yeah.
And understanding that like, even people who have big
emotions still need validation. Yeah, it's important to hear
checking on your strong friends,checking on please, for the love
of God, checking on your strong friends.
Because even though I know I am justified feeling whatever I'm

(28:59):
feeling, there is also still such a sense of relief that
comes from someone else looking at you and saying, Oh my God, I
get it. Even if you don't get it, even
if you don't like you. I mean, that was a big turning
point for me. And Nick was where I because so
many conversations I would bringup something and then he'd be
like, but what about rip your fucking skin off your face?

(29:20):
You will have no testicles. Oh.
No, I'm going. To carve his liver out of his
body. I mean, it's excessive, but
Lorena Bobbitt did it well. She didn't cut a liver, but.
No, just she just took part of it.
Took her bits, she did. Took his bits out the window.

(29:42):
Listen. Anyway, that was a deep.
Deep cut. That's a good one though.
Deep cut? I haven't thought about her in a
minute. I know.
Where is she? What's she up to?
Anyway, you were saying? Lorena Bobbitt.
I was reading her autobiography.I bet she has one.
I bet she has one. Should we have a?
Book club and read Lorena Bobbitt autobiography.

(30:02):
Yes. Is anybody down to have a a
book? Club with us I need, I'm not
going to do it right now becauseI'll get distracted, but I need
to know if she has one. OK, we will put it, put it in
it. Put a pin in it.
Turning point for you and Nick. Yeah, was when he was when I was
like, here's what I'm strugglingwith.
And he started the what about and I was like, stop doing that,

(30:24):
stop doing that. I don't care about that right
now because I'm telling you about what my experience is.
I don't care about what your, what your personal response is.
I am sharing this with you because I'm trying to come to
you so that we can come togetherin our partnership and address
this, this experience mutually. Even though right now it's just

(30:44):
my experience. I need that acknowledgement.
I need to understand that you understand my experience.
And so I was like, that's not what I need right now.
And there was like, silence for a moment.
And then he was like, OK, if I put myself in your shoes, I
imagine you're feeling XY and Z.And it was just like, all of the
tension dissipated. And just like I could feel my

(31:06):
body let go. And I was like, this.
Yeah, yeah, dude, you did it. So now more of that.
That's the thing. Keep doing that.
Because we can talk about the whatabouts.
We can talk about those things, but we can't talk about them
right now. No, we'll get there.
That's further down the road, though.
Yeah, one step at a time. Got to deal with the yuck before

(31:27):
we get to the Yum, you know whatI'm saying?
Yeah, yeah. It's like dealing with toddlers.
I mean, we're all big toddlers. Big old babies walking around in
adult bodies. Yeah, and some of us have had
more time, more trauma, more whatever drama to, like figure
it out. But you got to figure out for

(31:48):
yourself. I mean, I think before you even
have friends, you got to know yourself.
Stop looking for external shenanigans and love and all
that. You can't look out to look in,
right? You can't be like, I'm friends
with Kimberly. And now Kimberly's told me what
kind of human being I am. Yeah.
And that's hard sometimes. It's real hard.

(32:11):
Especially however you grew up. Yeah, and also just like social
dynamics. I mean, Roslyn right now, man,
she what I think is incredible. Yeah, nearly done with her
freshman year. But what I think is so
incredible, there is something really magical about this group
of friends that she has from elementary school where they.

(32:32):
So we started at that school in 3rd grade when we moved back
from Indonesia, started in 3rd grade.
She was like the odd man out came in.
There were already all of the friendships, all of the groups
and forms. Yeah.
Yeah, she speaks 8 languages. And this is pre COVID but
because we have been living in Asia.
Like when she would go to schoolwith a cough, she would wear a
mask and you'll be like, why don't you have a mask on?

(32:55):
Come on. Girl, yeah, but it was so
normal. And, and anyway, not the point
of the conversation, but she, she, you know, infiltrated the
group, I would say. And over time they have, they
were really close. And then they got to middle
school and everyone was like, I'm going to branch out.
And they all like just talked about it with each other.

(33:16):
And they were like, I want to just like go meet new people.
I want to see what other friendsare out there.
And they they like, Can you imagine emotionally?
Intelligent in high school? Not even high schoolers.
Yeah, middle schoolers. Yeah, like the summer between
5th and 6th grade, they were like, I'm going to, I want to do
this and I want to like, we can still be friends, but let's take
a break. And then because they were
really only in 6th grade, it did'cause some friction and there

(33:36):
were some like, breaks in the friendships for, for that school
year. But then by 8th grade, the group
was right back together. And now they're in high school
and it's happening again. It's still like their core
group, but each of them are likemaking friendships and new
groups of friends. And it's amazing to watch how
they navigate it. Where Roslyn also now has a new

(33:57):
boyfriend. Very new as of as of earlier
this week. Yeah, but he's in a different
friend group and. One of cross contaminating
cross. Contaminating and one of and
Roslyn's best friend in that core group from elementary
school is not a fan of some of the kids in the boyfriend's
friend group. So there's not a lot of like all

(34:19):
spending time together. So Roslyn will like go back and
forth between the two, which wasfine until she started dating
this boy and then started spending more time with that
friend group. And what I thought was amazing
is her friend, her best friend came up to her and was like, I
don't like how much time you're spending with them.
I'm not jealous. It's not because I don't like
his friends. It's because I feel like you are
distancing yourself from our friend group and that makes me

(34:41):
feel uncomfortable. And Roslyn was like, you know
what, I can see that. I totally recognize that that is
happening. I'll work on it.
What Can you imagine? What did you even just say?
Can you imagine? No.
And so now Roslyn will like, split her time like she'll do
Lunch 30. Year olds who can talk like.
That for real. So she'll do lunch with one
group and then community time with the other group.

(35:01):
And she just like alternates. Wow, yeah, that gives me hope
for the future. I mean, it's incredible.
Wow. It's incredible.
Wow, for real. Or or there was a day where
because you know, they all end up going with other groups at

(35:22):
certain points. So sometimes that core friend
group is all six kids and sometimes it's only four because
two people are off. And sometimes, you know,
they're, it's like ever shifting.
And there was a day at lunch, I think it was this week, where
Roslyn was with the boyfriend and his friend group.
And one of the core friends was at a dance rehearsal.
And one of the core friends was in the music room doing

(35:43):
something else. And one of the core friends was,
I don't know, doing so that likeeverybody was off in a different
place. And then there was one friend
who didn't have anyone to eat lunch with.
And so she came in, saw that there was the best friend.
She came in, she saw that Roslynwas eating with the group that
she was not a fan of. So she just turned around and
watched out, and one of the friends in the group was like,
oh, she might be upset. So Roslyn went and talked to her

(36:04):
and was like, hey, are you OK? And the friend was like, I just
don't want to sit with those guys.
And Roslyn was like, what do youneed from me?
And the friend was like, honestly, it's OK.
I think I'm going to go have lunch by myself and just, like,
have a mental health day. What?
What? Again?
What? Yeah.
Blows my mind. Blows my mind.
Wow. Well, we need to have her

(36:26):
parents on to talk about how they talked about like, yeah,
these holding space for yourself.
These freaking kids and the way they can just have these
conversations with each other. Yes.
And navigate these tricky socialdynamics that still are hard for
adults to navigate. Yeah.
I mean, it's so hard going into this is, you know, as always,

(36:48):
we've gone S but like having those hard conversations.
It's the reason that miscommunications happen, yes,
because because of the fear. I mean, this has been my last,
you know, little bit like the fear of having hard
conversations because we can't regulate ourselves is it's

(37:13):
detrimental to growing friendships.
Yes, you cannot grow like right.And it's like, and it's OK to
have friends that you don't agree with all the time, but
like, you should still be able to go to them and be like, it's
OK, I'm taking a mental health day for myself and I'll regroup
and we'll come back and it's gonna be fine.

(37:33):
Yeah. You know, But like man, the the
lack of ability. Yeah.
To regulate yourself and regulate yourself and then go to
that person and be like, here's how I'm feeling instead of
accusing that person of how. Yeah, here's how you feel.
It's like this is just how I'm feeling.

(37:56):
I wish I I like don't even know what to say to finish that
sentence just other than I wish it was we were all better at it.
Like I can't wait. Should they have a master?
Class I think that group of friends yes those kids, yes 100%
teach the freaking. Adults of the world how to talk
to each other. Yes, absolutely.
Oh well, the entire point of me talking about her friends.

(38:18):
Sorry, No, it's not I I was the one who took it all the way, all
the way to left. Field went to Indonesia and back
we. Did hey friends, hey, oh, shout
out to my Indonesia. First of all, Indonesia, thank
you for listening to our podcast.
Hey, thanks you guys. And Russia.
And Spain. Come on, we're.
Everywhere. But shout out to my Indo
friends. The the thing that I love so

(38:40):
much about this friend group is they know themselves so deeply.
And Roslyn was talking about howwhen she first got into middle
school, she was like really trying to make an effort to like
get to know the popular kids. And then she sort of did for a
while and then sort of like branched away again.
And she struggled with that for a while.
And now that she is a freshman and she's like looking around at

(39:02):
the popular kids and looking at her friend group, she's, she is
also able to so eloquently put into words that she doesn't.
God, I'm trying to remember eventhe way she said it because it
was like so simple. It was like 1 sentence.
And I'm not going to be able to say it because she's better with
words than I am. But it just like so perfectly
encapsulated the fact that she was like, I don't need to be

(39:28):
liked by everyone in order to feel value in myself.
And she was, that was what she was saying.
And she was like, the thing thatI noticed with the popular kids
is they are all trying to make themselves acceptable for one
another. And she was like, I don't need
that because I love who I am andI think I'm great.
And so I'm just going to be me and the right people will come

(39:48):
to me. Come on.
Oh man, I wish. I wish more children were like
that. I know and I can't wait.
I'm like I, I keep thinking thisbut I don't.
I bear with me. I can't wait to see.
When that generation, if they choose, starts having children,

(40:13):
what those children's experiences would be like
because they have these kids as parents.
I mean, wait a while everybody, but yes.
But yes or don't. You do not have to have children
right? Like this?
It's not. I'm saying like, don't tell you
don't have kids. No, no, don't be in a rush.
I'm just saying, like to have that, that self-awareness and

(40:34):
that emotional maturity at this age, Just imagine, just just
imagine if our parents had that.Even if I had that growing up in
my early, early years, Yeah. I mean, I'm still learning some
of those lessons now, right? Of like, I'm allowed to have the

(40:57):
feelings. There's no bad feelings.
No. But if I take, you know, my rage
out on somebody's face, that's the bad part.
You can have the rage, have the rage process however you need to
process, and then do the brave thing and go to that person if
you value them, right. That's The thing is like, you

(41:18):
have to, you have to figure out if you actually want to be
friends with them. That's your choice.
Everybody's got that choice. Don't have to be a Dick about
it. Yeah, but maybe that's one of
your flower people and they falloff and they die.
And that's OK, because they're still going to fertilize the
soil, which then feeds the roots, which then helps the tree
grow. Boom, metaphors.

(41:41):
Come on. Mother Nature, poetry in motion.
I don't know. I had nothing else I.
Had nothing else. Will you please do an
interpretive dance right now of the flower falling off of the
tree and composting and fertilizing the soil?
Do a dance podcast style. Just with your mouth please.

(42:05):
I don't know what the. Was you were you were preparing
your tongue for you? You were preparing your tongue.
Well, I always. Got to warm it up.
Listen, you can't just go in cold, cold tongue.
But the Liver King would love it.
But he would. He's my new have.

(42:27):
You ever seen a cow tongue? Yes.
It's so big. They're gigantic.
Yeah, there's like the size of my forearm.
Yeah. And it's blue, isn't it?
So heavy, Yuchi. That's Yuchi bruh.
Anyway, adult friendships, they're hard.
They're they're like both harderand easier.
Yeah, because I feel like. Once we get to this point in our

(42:48):
lives, the friendships that havestayed are the they're the real.
Oh geez. Yes.
They're the realist and you have, you have, I think it's
finding that vulnerability in new friendships that is so
challenging because you you needtime to get to that.

(43:10):
Point. Yeah.
And some people don't make it a priority because they're like,
I'm not, you know, I'm not one of those people that make it a
priority to like, go out, branchout, Yeah.
And find any kind of friend, branch or flower because I so
deeply want to foster the relationship I have.
But yeah, life is, as we said inthe last episode, right?

(43:32):
It's like it's hard. Well, you can also.
I mean, two years ago I was like, my roster is full.
Like I'm I'm full up. I'm good.
I don't need to add anyone else.I had this amazing circle of
friends. I value all of our
relationships. It is like as much energy as I

(43:53):
can expend to this corner of my life.
Like I'm good. And then we went to Mexico.
Oh, yeah. I mean, that was also such a
magical group of people. But like I fully unexpected.
I thought I was going to go be by myself for a week, come home
and go back to my life. And instead I met an incredible

(44:15):
group of women and I still see some of them right away.
I went out with yeah, you did with two of them last weekend,
last. Weekend.
That group of women was exceptional.
Yeah. And, and I that that I think is
something that I've grown to love about adult friendships is
that it does seem a little more,however, woo woo, you want to

(44:38):
say it a little more planned by the universe that that these
women were just like dropped in my lap at a time when I was
fully not interested in making friends.
Fully not interested. In making friends.
She wore clothes, but also like I, I value those friendships so
much. Yeah, I love that.
It's I I think that the different generations too, yes,

(45:02):
there was like a study done. They put there was like a group
of older humans and they paired them up with young kids and they
had to it was like once a week for like a year or once a no, it
was like once a week for a whilethat they had to come together
and seen what it did for the older generation, like keeping

(45:25):
them youthful, keeping their minds, like taking all the times
like was helped with dementia and all that stuff.
There's like, you know, they didstudies on both And then for the
the kids, it was they were a little bit more well-rounded.
They were a little bit more grounded because they got to see
like the whole span of life and you just learn from different,

(45:45):
the different generations. Like, and that's what I think
was so magic about that last Mexico group is like we had
quite the array of different generations.
Yeah, we had someone in her 20s,right?
Yeah. We had 20s all the way up to
single. Ready to mingle.
Yeah, We had some people who hadjust gone like, through
breakups, like we had that. And then we had like, our 60
year olds, Yeah. Who are like, doesn't fucking

(46:07):
matter kids. Yeah, hella ground.
Yeah. Hella ground and they're like,
God, I love the elders, I love me, I love you all.
Shout out to the elders. You know who you are.
And we love you. We love you and I can't wait to
go to Mexico with you. Know and you too, Dave.
And you too, Dave. What was The Dirty Dave?
Dirty Dave, Come on. Dirty Dave.

(46:28):
Yes, I'm going to call him that in class.
I need to remember. Please do it.
Come on, Dirty Dave. But yeah, just just the wealth
of knowledge that they that theyare.
Yeah, just. A different, like such a
different energy in a good way, such a such a great energy,
yeah. So look outside the box, right?

(46:49):
For me, I wouldn't look outside the box and be like that
person's older than me so that we're not going to be friends.
And like that's where all the magic is.
Though I think. I think there is magic there.
It's not all the magic. There's some magic there.
And so just being open to whatever might fall on your lap.
Yeah, wherever with whoever. We also are set up culturally to

(47:13):
only interact with people that are exactly the same age as.
Us, yes, which? For a long time, I mean, I have
always been the kind of person that is like, I will be like, if
you and I click, we're going to be friends.
I don't care how old you are. I don't care what gender you
are. None of that matters to me.
Like if we have some kind of chemistry on a friendship level,
if there is something about our interaction that is like

(47:36):
matching vibrations, we're goingto be friends.
I feel like that has been judged.
That is a thing about me that has been judged by people in my
life nearly my entire life. Yeah, Weird, right?
Why would they do that? Because there is this like
social perception that if you are friends with somebody who's

(47:58):
10 years older than you, then that person has a problem or
you're like looking for something out of that
friendship. Or if yeah.
Or if you have friends, if you're friends with someone
younger than you, then that means you're not mature enough
or like, you know, just just unnecessary, unnecessary
judgement on shit that you is not any of your business.

(48:19):
But like the, the friendships, the most impactful friendships
that I've had, I would say it's like 5050.
I would say probably half of them are my age and the other
half of them are not. But there is so much to be,
there's so much to appreciate about friends of different age

(48:40):
ages, different age ranges, different generations.
There's something so complimentary about having a
friend that isn't, has not had exactly all the same life
experience as you at the same time.
It's very nice, right? Like we, you just learn
different things and and different, you have different
kinds of conversations. Yeah, it's it's, I think, in a

(49:01):
magical variety. It's magically delicious.
Tori, don't eat your friends. Yeah, that is a theme so far.
I'm just trying to be out here eating my friends.
I'm sure they just thought it like Lucky Charms.
That's it. Well, but just the marshmallows.
They don't blame you. Because the other stuff is

(49:22):
trash. Oh yeah, like the.
Actual cereal part of it, Yeah. Rip your the roof of your mouth
off. You ever have Captain Crunch?
Oh yeah, raw raw dog, raw roof of your.
Mouth about raw dogging, yeah, but I would just keep going
back. Oh.
Of course. The candy's the sour Sour patch.
Oh, full, raw mouth. Yeah, yeah, your cheeks.

(49:43):
Yeah, all of it. Really I need more.
But just just if you could inject them into my veins would
be great. Yeah, but then.
But then my mandible would be sosad.
I need to chew it. I'll.
I'll you need to get that like tension in your jaw from the
sour part were your mouth watersa little bit.
I'm more of a I'm not a sour gal, I love sour but like

(50:05):
chocolate 200 same like a starburst.
Oh, I love a starburst like I love.
Come on, you don't even. Go to the how?
You can buy it at any store but like I only ever buy them when I
go to the movie theater and it'sthe already unwrapped mini
starbursts. They're already unwrapped the
bags. Of unwrapped tiny so you don't

(50:27):
feel as bad eating the entire bag because I do.
Those bags aren't designed to save half for later.
Let's be honest. They know what they're they.
Have like resealable. I'm like, you know why?
Yeah, for what purpose? It's not coming sealed ever
again. But those, yeah, I can get down
on those. Oh, yeah.
Movie snacks. Come on.
Yeah, Candy. That pop, the popcorn.

(50:49):
I don't like, love popcorn unless I'm at the movie theater.
And it's like that. The butter is like, so thick you
can, like, feel it coating your tongue.
Yeah. And you're like, that's probably
great for me. And the salt.
And the salt. Makes your mouth raw, so salty,
so delicious, crunchy. It's done before the previous
over. You're.
Like, where's the popcorn? Halfway through and you're like,

(51:09):
we ate it all and you're like OK, well go get more.
You don't ration your popcorn. We went to see God.
What do we see? I could be combining 2
completely different memories socan't wait this ahead of time.
I could just be starting rumors but if I remember correctly and
I don't always remember correctly, we went to see.
So far it's really great. Boys in the boat.

(51:31):
Great movie about UW's first rowing team.
George Clooney. Sure.
Yeah, I think he directed. It.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he did direct it.
So good. Such a good movie.
Oh, my God, so good. But my dad, like, like, had a
few bites of popcorn and then, like, rolled the top of the bag
down and then and then put it away for later so that he

(51:52):
wouldn't eat it all before the movie started.
And I was like, what are you doing?
And he was like, I'm saving it for the movie.
And I was like, you're a monster.
You're a monster. But then he had popcorn for the
movie. Popcorn, Yeah.
Whoa, talk about. Some will self-control, yeah.
'Cause like, no, like I'm going in to go ham.
Yeah, either I movie theater popcorn is such a specific.

(52:14):
Yeah, I have no chill like I am.It's either we're going deep or
we're not going at all. Yeah, like I can't either.
Yeah, we'll go to the and I'm like, no, I don't want anything.
But then sometimes I'm like, no,what is life like to enjoy all
these things? So I will.
Yeah, I cannot be stopped with that.
Butter. Yeah, butter sauce pad.
Has like literally I think candycorn's my favorite.

(52:38):
Sure. Which I think is, I know it's a
controversial. Nick puts it on pizza.
Stop. Yeah, that's gross.
He loves it. Pizza.
Yeah. Like what kind of pizza?
Like a like cheese pizza with with tomato sauce?
With candy corn. OK, so now we have to get banana
raped back here, not not cut that out.

(53:05):
That's the. Different kind of.
Situation. Banana crapped, wrapped.
Wait, bacon. Bacon.
Bacon wrapped bananas. Yeah, I'm not.
Even going to say it again. And then we need the bread to
smash in our face. Yeah, and now we need pizza with
candy corn. Yeah, he and he and that is he

(53:25):
and Nana McCabe had a bonding moment about it.
And I was like, how is there another person on this planet
that was also trying that? Is that a thing?
Well, I mean, it is a thing. So now we have to try that.
But candy corn is my favorite and I and because my birthday is
in October when candy corn is thriving, sure, I get my
favorite favorite is the pumpkins because.
There's. Oh yeah, right.

(53:45):
Yeah. It's also a different textural.
Experience you have like a big. Do you sink your teeth into it?
Yeah, and so like I've but it's.Also like eating wax.
Like the text, there's nothing natural about.
It actual wax yeah like I'm suremy insides are trash but but
it's delicious. People have given me the 2 1/2

(54:06):
LB bags and don't worry, I not in one sitting.
OK, but like Pat has had to hideit.
Like Pat's had to hide it and I have a video because I
videotaped myself doing it. He hid it in one of our really
tall cabinets and I full don't have a ladder.
So I scaled the wall to get to to it and I ate.

(54:29):
I still have that video. I'll have to find it because
yeah, we'll have to put that on the gram.
It's nothing. It's everything Pod on
Instagram. Please, if you're not following
it, go follow it so you can see me scale a wall.
For some candy pumpkins. For candy, yeah, it was candy.
I think it was candy corn. The other one is Easter candy.
The. Cat eggs forget about.

(54:51):
It Robin eggs the whopper or theone with hot chocolate?
Yeah, yeah, that. And both my boys like those.
And so I'm like, get out of my way.
Give me that candy. I'm like fine, I'll share so
that I don't eat 4 lbs of. Does the Easter Bunny also bring
you candy in your Easter basket?You know when my mom's in town,
you know. Your mom still makes me easier.

(55:16):
I love that so much. Well, she combines one for me
and Pat and then one for the. Kids and then you take it all to
yourself and. Yeah, 'cause she won't.
Run away like the other one that's.
Surprising is Jelly beans. I don't love a Jelly Bean until
I eat one Jelly Bean and then like, game over.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's yeah, yeah.
I would never seek out a Jelly Bean, but if I eat one, it's

(55:36):
yeah, I'm having fish. Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Peach rings. Oh, I mean I won't, that's my
take it out of bed, but like Peach ring, I will seek it out.
Sure, I love a Peach ring. You like put your tongue through
it? It's also yeah, of course yes,
obviously it's also hard. Now you're supposed to put my
tongue now that I no where it's Peach rings are nothing.

(55:59):
Now that I know that I have foodallergies and I can't have all
the delicious candies it is it is like a.
Like what can't you have? Literally anything because corn,
milk, soy, Oh isn't everything. Is this a really tricky
conversation though? Yeah, I'm sorry.
Sorry. Like so.
Next one I'm going to bring all the candy.
Now I will say in this modern day that we live in, there are

(56:22):
some amazing, oh sure allergy friendly candies.
Like I can still get a Peach ring, a Swedish fish, things
that I couldn't get 10 years ago.
Swedish Fish. Yeah, come on.
What? Makes them Swedish.
They're just from Sweden. I guess.
I've always asked that question cuz like when they got I don't
they got like hot in like high school like Swedish like blew.
Up yeah, cuz they're so delicious but.
I was like, where have these been my whole life?

(56:42):
And I don't think they were anywhere until they were just
present. You just saw that, that
beautiful yellow bag, and you said I need it, Yeah.
Well, I was like, I don't have any other candy, so I guess I'll
try this. And then I was like, whoa, yeah,
this is like candy corn, but squishier.
Yeah, such a. The texture is so perfect.
Yeah, yeah. So like now, there are options.

(57:03):
Which is great. But there's still not a a
Cadbury egg equivalent, which makes me very sad.
That is pretty rough. Like.
Yeah, I mean, I could probably use like not eat them.
Yeah, but why? I used to.
I used to eat. Stop myself the.
Top off of Cadbury eggs and thenpour the filling into my mouth.

(57:27):
Did you ever? And then I use them no.
Oh, some people like freeze themand so that they, you know,
they're, they've got like just areal hard texture.
But I'm like, you have to do so much sucking together.
No, and I don't too much work. That's too much work.
No, I just. Want to scoop it out with my
tongue? Yes.
Tongue it out of there. Yeah, and.

(57:50):
Then yeah, go to the and then like die of a sugar coma.
Like the amount of sugar in a Cadbury cream egg makes my teeth
hurt. And my stomach.
And my, you know, stomach, obviously.
Caramel ones? What?
Oh, there's Cadburys with just pure ass caramel.
No, instead of the white egg part, which is the best part.
Yeah. And but my mom, she would put

(58:11):
those ones in my and I was like,mom, I hate these.
I don't want that one because she loves them and I think Pat
might like them but I'm like no,you give me the OG Cadbury
otherwise. No, give me the cream.
I don't want any of that becausethen it's it like you can't
scoop the karma out. No, you just gotta like RIP it
out with your teeth. And then it's all over your.
Face. Yeah.
No, no, no. Together, Cadbury.

(58:32):
Come on, make it better. Also make an allergy friendly
version someone. Because if you can make the
green ones that now they sell during Halloween time.
Like they have so smart so. Smart.
Come on, you can repackage anything.
There's ones for Christmas now Ibelieve too.
Of course they're because they're hot.
But yeah, they have to. Come on, what would they have to

(58:53):
take out? Everything, probably everything
they would have to make it. Like a goat milk.
Or like you could do it with like coconut cream or like a OK,
I don't know, like should we cashew cream?
Let's do it, let's try. OK.
But then also like you can't, you know, you can't cut the
ingredients with cheaper fillerslike corn syrup and soy lectin.

(59:14):
And so you have to use like all I.
They would be so expensive, but I bet they'd be worth it.
There's people out there. Yeah, come on, come on.
I'm doing it. I'm doing it.
We're going to make allergy friendly.
Yeah. Cadbury Eggs.
I believe in us, I. Think they could?
Yeah. It'll it'll be a great

(59:34):
friendship building experience. Yeah, baking is Baking is
because it's such a science. Also one to do with your
partner, right? Can you survive baking a pie?
With the lattice. Topic There's a.
You know, those it's either a book or it's cards.
My mom, my mom, my mom also got got it for Pat and I But it's
like you open the book and you scratch it off and you have to

(59:57):
do what it is. Yeah.
Yeah, we have an. Adventure, book or whatever.
And it's like tells you how muchtime you'll need.
Is it indoor, outdoor. Do you need to bring anything
with you? Yes.
And the first one, we were like,let's get adventurous and, you
know, had no idea of what we want to do for a date.
And the first one was a pie making and somebody was
blindfolded. So one person was blindfolded

(01:00:18):
and the other person had the eyes and had to like direct
them. Oh no, that's a team.
Building I was like, which I think is great, but like I was
like. But pie baking is already so
messy. And hard.
It's like so hard to be able to make a pie crust blindfolded,
no? I mean, go on to British baking
if you can. Like how did it go though?

(01:00:38):
We didn't do it. You just said fuck no.
Yeah, I said I don't want to bake.
I don't want to bake. Blindfolded.
Especially blindfolded. I already have a problem being
blindfolded. I'm like, no, I would like my
eyes. Yeah, it does not feel safe.
No, I don't enjoy time one time not with Patrick, but like but
and I said I'm so uncomfortable.Get this off of my.

(01:00:59):
Face. Yeah, same.
No, I need more control than that.
Yep, I had exactly Yep, I had exactly 1 experience and I was
like, this feels unsafe, this feels predatory somehow and I
don't want to do this ever again.
Speaking of RAPE, yeah, it's like Get Me Out of here.
Like, it felt gross. Yeah.
So we I was like, OK, that is not for me.
Nope. So I don't want to bake a pie

(01:01:21):
and do it either. You don't want to feel unsafe
while baking a pie. I don't blame you.
I have. To feel safe, to make my pies of
love. I get it.
Yeah, you're going to make it with love.
Anyway. Makes sense.
Anyway, let's go make a pie. Let's go make some Cadbury cream
eggs. Build our friendship, Yeah.
Build. Build our friendship.

(01:01:41):
Building a pie and having some Cadbury eggs anyway.
Solid. I'm here for it.
Cool. If you got anything out of this
episode, do you have any tips and tricks on how to make
friends or where to make friends?
Yeah, tell us about it. Yeah, cuz I have.
No, I have no idea. I accidentally made friends on a
yoga retreat once. That's about the extent all my

(01:02:04):
other friends are from work. We met.
We met at work. Well, yeah, that is work.
That was that was work for us atthat one time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All my closest friends are from
work or from accidents. Happy accidents, Happy
accidents. Come on, Bob Ross, Not just for
accidents. No traumatizing accidents.

(01:02:25):
So yeah, like Cher. Yeah, tell us.
Tell us how you found your friends.
Tell us how you find friends. Tell us, do you go to those
those speed dating events for friends?
Oh my God, do. You go to those.
Those dance churches, No, let's do it.
I don't want to do that, though.Let's go.
I've heard amazing things. Or like the early night
clubbing. And what's it called?

(01:02:45):
I was just I. Was just.
Well, there's one now that I think is like New York, Chicago,
a couple other places, but it's like you go clubbing from 6 to
10. In the morning.
In the night, in the evening. Oh yeah, 6 to 10 and then and
then you're home. Yes, I have seen, I have seen
this. You wash your.
Face you floss your teeth. You go to bed.

(01:03:07):
It's still before midnight. But you've had an evening.
I have seen this, yes. I need that in my life.
Let's go make some friends there.
Yeah. Why yes, I don't know.
Yeah, no, let's go by his friends there.
I'm, I'm back in that same mindset.
I don't have room for more friends.
No, but we want you guys to be our friends.
Yeah, please. We do want you guys to be our

(01:03:27):
friends and be part of this community because that's also
how you make friends, right? Yeah, We have a Facebook.
Look us up on Facebook as well so we can build a community and.
Oh yeah, I forgot about that. I know.
Well, everybody forgets about Facebook, but we do have it.
No one engages. So please be the first to engage
with me. Come hang out with Tori on
Facebook guys. I will try to be there.

(01:03:48):
Me, my grandma, and you. Come on.
Come on, grams. But thanks for listening and see
you next Tuesday. Bye.
Bye.