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May 24, 2025 13 mins

RALLYING YOUR SUPPORT TEAM

Helping Them Help You

Our friends, our families, our therapists, our books, our cultural

responses—they’re all most useful, most loving and kind, when they help

those

in grief to carry their pain, and least helpful when they try to fix what isn’t

broken.

Most people want to help; they just don’t know how.

There’s such a huge gap between what people want for us, and what they

actually provide with their support. It’s no one’s fault, really. The only way

to

close that gap is to let people know what works, what doesn’t, and how we

can

all improve our skills in caring for each other.

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