August 18, 2025 • 28 mins
A legendary variety show blending witty monologues, comic sketches, and musical interludes, all anchored by the impeccable timing of its beloved host. It’s a masterclass in comedic timing.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The level.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
And Lamerican the Jack Belly Program presented by Lucky Strike.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Feeling low feeling tends eight quarts of common sense.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Smoke Lucky to be your level best.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Smoke Lucky to best.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Your level best.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
That's just how you'll feel when you line up a
Lucky because Lucky's fine tobacco picks you up when you're low,
calms you down when you're tents, put you on the
right level to feel and do your level best. It's
important to know that fine tobacco can do this for you,
and ls m F T L s m f T
Lucky Strike means fine tobacco, mild, right, thoroughly enjoyable tobacco.
(00:49):
So next time you buy cigarettes, remember Lucky's fine tobacco
picks you up when you're low, calms you down when
you're tents, put you on the Lucky level where you
feel your best and.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Do your best.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
So smoke a Lucky to feel your level best.
Speaker 5 (01:12):
The Lucky Strike programs starring Jack Benny with Phil Harris,
Rochester's Dennis Day, Don Wilson, and Yours Truly Merry Livingston,
Ladies and gentlemen. Today is my turn to make the
(01:33):
opening announcement because Jack still has Don Wilson locked in
his den and he intends to keep him there till
Don signs his new contract. As we look at it
on Jack's home, we find him in Rochester discussing the situation.
Speaker 6 (01:44):
Boss.
Speaker 7 (01:45):
I don't like the button to your affairs, but I
think that if you won't let mister Wilson go, you
ought at least give him a little food. He's lost
so much weight his face is getting off within it is. Yeah,
this morning, I'm peeking that and through the keyhole and
saw both his eyes peaking back.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Oh love, Rochester.
Speaker 8 (02:04):
I'll let mister Wilson out when he signs the contract,
and not before, good Boss.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
He's desperate for food.
Speaker 7 (02:09):
You know that moose head hanging over the piano.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Don't tell me he ain't the moose head.
Speaker 6 (02:13):
No, the piano.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Why And with.
Speaker 7 (02:17):
Those keys sticking out of his mouth, he looks like Donna.
Speaker 8 (02:19):
Meg Rochester stopped making out such silly things. I'll get it.
Oh hoo, kids, Hello Jackson. Well, this is a coincidence
all three of you coming at the same time.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
Jack, It's no coincidence. We're over here to make a protest.
A protest yes, just because John won't sign his contract,
you lock him up like a common criminal.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
It's awful, it's humiliating. It's in selling to his dignity.
Oh it is a What have you got to say
about a dentist? Nothing? Tenors are a diamond, doesn't well, looks.
I don't think this is any of your business.
Speaker 8 (03:03):
I happen to be the boss of my program and
I'll run things the way I want it.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Well, we're making it our business, oh you are. Let
me tell you something.
Speaker 8 (03:09):
A business is like a ship, and whether it sinks
or floats depends upon the captain. And you know what
it is when the crew revolts against the captain. Yeah,
that's matinee. That's mute me, Matinee. I'm ashamed of all
of you, but you're the most merry. Imagine you being
the ringleader after all I've done for you, took it
(03:30):
from nothing, put you on the radio, and made a big.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Star out of you, some big star.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
If I didn't double at the Burbank Theater, I starved it.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
The Burbank Theater, Chief Bull of Fire Livingston. So now listen,
all of you.
Speaker 8 (03:49):
Now, my business dealings with Don Wilson don't concern you.
The only things you should be interested in are your
own contract.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Well, I got a beef on that, Jackson. Look at
the way you got me to sign my last contract.
What are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (03:59):
You signed it and I know, but look at the
way you tortured me. You shoved the billiard ball in
my mouth and locked me in a room with a
bottle of bourbon. G Phil, What did you do?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Had to not got my front teeth to get the
ball out, you know, to get the bourbon in.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Now Look, look, kids, you are better off than I am.
Speaker 9 (04:20):
Philed, mister Bennie signed me to the longest term contract
in radio.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
How long is your contract with Jackson, kid?
Speaker 10 (04:24):
I don't know, but when I signed it, he slipped
a ring on my finger and said, till death do
us part.
Speaker 8 (04:31):
You kid, should be happy you're working for me. There's
something to be proud of.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
Well, I still think it's humiliating, particularly that clause. You
have my contact saying that if anything terrible happens to
my sister babe, you have the right to use it
on your program. Well, marry well, Babe wrote me and
said she's fed up with it. All those terrible things
you say about her like she's modeling harnesses or she
was voted miss lower plate wobble or a plain floor
and dropped the veil.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Hey, you gotta stop that.
Speaker 6 (04:56):
Jack.
Speaker 8 (04:56):
Okay, by the way, how are things going with your sister, babe?
Speaker 5 (05:00):
And he meets gorgeous George the Olympic Wednesday?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Did you write that down? Rochester? Got it?
Speaker 6 (05:11):
Good? Yeah?
Speaker 11 (05:13):
Jack?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Jack?
Speaker 12 (05:14):
There Don rattling at the door. He must be stopped.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Jack's not locked that door, so we can talk to him.
Speaker 9 (05:19):
I will now Jack, open that door.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
We want to talk to Don. Oh all right, wait,
wait to tuck you done? Well? Don, are you going
to sign that contract?
Speaker 6 (05:31):
I was, I w was? Who's that with you? Who
are those people?
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Well?
Speaker 5 (05:37):
Don, don't you recognize as I'm Mary? And there's still
in Dennis.
Speaker 10 (05:41):
I hold all these people. Get him out of here. Jack,
so just here to torture me.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
I love Don, Don. I'm your friend Mary Livingstone.
Speaker 10 (05:48):
Oh yes, Mary, Mary, please talk to Jack about my contract, Dennis.
Speaker 6 (05:53):
Dennis, tell Jack to.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Give me a fair deal.
Speaker 11 (05:56):
Tell him how.
Speaker 6 (05:57):
Lousy he is.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Oh, he knows that. Quiet. You better sign that contract. Dantee,
you ain't round and firm anymore? Now, why don't you
listen to reason? And then who's that? Oh?
Speaker 9 (06:09):
Look at the window, mister Benny.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
It's your quartet, the sportsman. I wonder what they want, Jack.
Speaker 6 (06:14):
That's the only pleasure I get. They come over every
day and serenade me.
Speaker 10 (06:18):
Raise the window, Jack please, okay, go.
Speaker 6 (06:25):
Ahead, fellows, sing to me.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
If you had the wings of an angel.
Speaker 13 (06:35):
Form of these prison walls, you could.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Lie, You could lie, and then.
Speaker 13 (06:43):
You can line up a lucky and right honest John
in up. Oh we miss you, dear Dom, We all
miss you.
Speaker 14 (06:59):
And we're a thing that you won't be there long,
won't be there long.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
But if Jack keeps you in there forever and sing low,
be low, intense, a smoke lucky. If you leveldest smoke lucky.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
I mean you turn to We'll always see your very
level best best best levelest.
Speaker 8 (07:48):
That that was very nice, boys, Now, now close the window,
don down. That quartet touched a soft spot in my heart.
Now I'll give you that rage you were holding out for. Now,
sign the contract and go home.
Speaker 6 (07:59):
Okay, okay, give me the pad. I'm Sigy, I'm Sigyn.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
There I did it. I did it. A pray a
pray dear me free look out for the window. Oh
my goodness, he jumped afrae pray, pray hee. It's it's
(08:35):
too it's too bad. He ran away so fast.
Speaker 8 (08:38):
I was going to give him a new suit and
a five dollar bill. Now, look, kids, I hope you
all learned something from this. Now that I let down out,
I don't want to have trouble with anyone else from
now on when we have rehearsals, be on time, pay
attention to your job, and take direction from me, and
there'll be no trouble.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Direction from you, certainly.
Speaker 8 (08:58):
I've been in radio for seven years and I know
how things should be done. That's why I'm so much
in demand.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
A man.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Wait a minute, Dad, you told me you were going
to be on the Fourth Theater last Friday night. So
I tuned in and heard Claudette, Colbert and Vincent Price.
You weren't even on, well, Phil.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
They begged me, but at the last minute I couldn't
make it. Beg you.
Speaker 12 (09:16):
That is what Claudette told me.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Mary. We're not discussing that. Now. What did Claudete tell you? Mary? Mary?
Speaker 8 (09:21):
If you say one word, I'm leaving the room. I
don't want to hear this silly talk.
Speaker 5 (09:24):
I don't care.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
I'm gonna tell him all right, then I'm going out
go on o Levey tell us, Well.
Speaker 5 (09:31):
Here's what happened last week when Jack heard that Claudette
Colbert was going to be on the Fourth Theater program.
Speaker 12 (09:36):
Yeah yeah, he medn't be called out Mis Marca.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
The director of the show, and try to get on
it too.
Speaker 12 (09:42):
He couldn't wait to get to the phone and call.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Mister mark.
Speaker 12 (09:48):
Hello, Keny in a neck Heart radio advertising agency.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
May I speak to mister Markle. Please? Who's calling Jack Benny?
What's your hooper? Uh twenty eight point nine. Oh, then,
mister Markle, we'll talk to you. Thank you.
Speaker 6 (10:08):
Hello.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Oh hello, mister Markle.
Speaker 11 (10:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Uh, mister Markle. Uh this is Jack Benny.
Speaker 11 (10:20):
Yes, mister Benny. What can I do for you?
Speaker 8 (10:22):
Well, I understand that Claude ed Colbert and Vincent Price
are appearing on your Ford Theater program.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
That's right, Well, I thought perhaps you might like to
use me instead of Vincent Price.
Speaker 15 (10:33):
Mister Benny. Didn't you do personal appearances in Europe last summer?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yes, yes I did, and uh you.
Speaker 11 (10:40):
Just finished producing a picture called The Lucky stiff. Uh
huh and uh didn't you just sell your program to CBS?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Yes, yes, that's right.
Speaker 11 (10:48):
Well, please let somebody else make a buck, will.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Mister markl.
Speaker 8 (10:57):
Mister Mirkle. It's it's not a question of money, it's
a matter of for casting. Now, does missus Colbert know
that you have bencent price?
Speaker 1 (11:04):
She picked him?
Speaker 8 (11:08):
Well, don't you think it would be better if we now,
wait a minute, mister Markle, if you give me the job,
I can save you money.
Speaker 6 (11:19):
You care.
Speaker 8 (11:19):
Yes, I cannot only act, but I can play in
the orchestra. You see, I'm also a violinist.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
So you see, by doing two jobs, two jobs for
the same salary, I'll be beating Vincent's price.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Hey, that was a good one, mister Marco.
Speaker 11 (11:38):
Mister Marco, just a moment, pleaze, I'm cutting my wrists.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
I'll wait, I mean, wait a minute. Look, there's no need,
there's no need for bloodshed.
Speaker 8 (11:54):
Now, mister Markle, if you don't mind, I'll call miss
Colbert and take the matter up directly with her.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
I wish you would, thank you.
Speaker 6 (12:00):
Goodbye.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Let's see I look Claudett's number up in the phone book.
Speaker 6 (12:04):
Yeah, here we are.
Speaker 8 (12:06):
Caldwell Caldron, cold fat, cold Cats. I used to go
with a girl named cold Cats Blossom cold Cots. See
(12:27):
here we are Coldbert, Coldbert. Oh here it is Claudette
Colbert Cresview seven three eight seven two.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Hello, Hello, I'd like to speak to Claudette Colbert. Please,
this is Colbert speaker. Oh hello Claudette.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Uh, guess who this is? Well?
Speaker 9 (12:58):
Really, I haven't the slightest I well you you know
me very well?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Come on, get well. No, remember a few years ago
at Paramount, who had the dressing room next to yours?
Speaker 9 (13:09):
Oh, hello, Dorothy, Dorothy.
Speaker 8 (13:18):
Look at this isn't Lamore. Look Dorothy's dressing room was
on one side of yours. Now who was on the
other side?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
That was a wash room.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Only part of 'emqadette Cordette.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
This is Jack.
Speaker 11 (13:36):
Oh Jack?
Speaker 9 (13:37):
Hello Jack?
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Who Lord Jack? Benny be at crdette. You'll never guess
why I'm calling.
Speaker 9 (13:45):
You're starting a pyramid club.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
I mean, besides that. Look.
Speaker 8 (13:59):
One one of the reasons I called is to tell
you that I saw your latest picture, Family Honeymoon.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
I thought you were wonderful in its. Oh thank you,
you were really marvelous.
Speaker 8 (14:07):
I thought your characterization, your sincerity and your comedy interpretation
surpressed anything I have ever seen.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
On the screen.
Speaker 9 (14:13):
Well, that's awfully fleet of you, Jack. I want to
congratulate you on.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I want Claude d what have you been doing lately?
Speaker 6 (14:25):
Lately?
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I'm with Columbia now, oh well, how are.
Speaker 9 (14:28):
Things on Broadway at nine?
Speaker 1 (14:33):
No?
Speaker 2 (14:33):
No, you're you're thinking of Eastern Columbia. See, I'm with CBS.
Oh but look, Claudete, here's what I want to talk
to you about. You see, Fletcher Marco, the director of
the Ford Theater, just called me about the show you're
going to do, called you yes, and he suggested that
I play the part of your husband and the sketch.
Speaker 9 (14:50):
But I understood Vincent Price was playing the plod well.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
He was scheduled to.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
But if you want me, all you've got to do
is speak up, I said, all you've got to do
is speak up, Claudette, just.
Speaker 9 (15:07):
Call me Johnny Belinda.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Oh oh, well, I I wish to think this over
because it would really be a wonderful break, especially for me.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Oh I wouldn't say that. Let's say it'll do us
both a lot of good, shall we?
Speaker 9 (15:24):
Would you mind hanging up?
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Wait a minute, Claudette, how about the idea?
Speaker 9 (15:29):
Honestly, Jack, I have nothing to look on that.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
I've got another idea. Why can't you please.
Speaker 9 (15:33):
Deposit five stats for an additional three minutes?
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Three minutes already? Yes, a second? Would you mind dropping
a nickel in? Claudette? You called me?
Speaker 9 (15:44):
Remember?
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Oh that's right? What am I thinking of here? I've
got a nickel there?
Speaker 8 (15:50):
See it doesn't seem like we've been talking for three minutes,
does it, Claudette?
Speaker 9 (15:53):
You ought to be on this end.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Well, it come to the point when do you start
rehearsing for the place to night at my house?
Speaker 9 (16:04):
But I don't see tonight?
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Well look at at your house? At what time?
Speaker 9 (16:07):
No, Jack, eight o'clock?
Speaker 1 (16:08):
I really don't see eight o'clock. Thanks, Claudette, see you tonight.
Speaker 8 (16:11):
I'll read the part, and Bencent Price will read the part,
and may the best man win, I hope.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
So I knew you'd be plugging for me. Blue goodbye, goodbye?
Oh by the way, Claudee, shall I come for dinner?
Clardere crdett. Gee, that's second. Three minutes went fast?
Speaker 5 (16:26):
And you know kids after that, you think Jack would
have sense enough to stay away, but not little blue Eyes,
no kidding.
Speaker 6 (16:41):
No.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
At eight o'clock, Shark, he showed up at Claudette Colbert's house.
Speaker 8 (16:46):
Gee, Claudette has a nice home. Yes, sir, missus Colbert
is expecting me for rehearsal. I'm Jack Benny.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
All right, this way, mister Bennet, I take your hats
and coat, and here you are. Thank you. Well, it's
the first time I ever saw half of the bird
nest in it. Give me that it came off. They're
going to rehearse in the drawing room, mister Bennam, I'll.
Speaker 6 (17:17):
Show you it.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Thank you. Mister Price is already here. Oh he is
one of those uh, one of those anxious guys. Eh.
Speaker 8 (17:27):
Well, well, mister Bencent Price, I'm Jack Benny the movie size.
Speaker 6 (17:38):
How do you do?
Speaker 1 (17:41):
How do you do, mister Price? So the two rivals meet, Eh, rivals?
Speaker 6 (17:46):
What do you mean?
Speaker 8 (17:47):
Well, perhaps I should let Claudette tell you, but it
looks like I'm taking your place on the Ford Theater program.
Speaker 6 (17:51):
That's ridiculous, old boy. Oh no, it is.
Speaker 8 (17:53):
You see it rehearsal tonight. You and I are both
going to read the part, and of course the best
man will win.
Speaker 6 (17:58):
The best man.
Speaker 16 (17:59):
Yeah, mister Benny, when only two people are involved in
a statement, the comparative is used. You don't say the
best man will win, You say the better man will win. Now,
if three or more people are involved, then the word
best is the correct educate. I see, So before we
compete for this part, mister Benny, it might be well
if you first learned to speak English.
Speaker 8 (18:28):
Well for your information, mister Price, I went to Walkegan
High School for four years and I excelled in English.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
In fact, I got ninety nine every single term.
Speaker 6 (18:36):
Well, ain't that ginger peaching? Now?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
I've heard of sore losers in my life, but this
guy takes the cave step writing here mister Mickle.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Miss Colbert will be with you shortly.
Speaker 11 (18:50):
Thank you.
Speaker 6 (18:51):
Hello, Bencent Fletcher, old boy? How are you fine?
Speaker 11 (18:54):
Fine?
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Hello? Mister Markall.
Speaker 11 (18:55):
What are you doing here?
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Well?
Speaker 16 (18:57):
I just thought i'd drop around and see if that
is fer. I don't know what this is all about,
and my demand an explanation? Am I or Am I
not going to appear opposite? Miss Colbert?
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Of course you are.
Speaker 6 (19:06):
Then what is this schlamielle talking about?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Slamiel Yes, s h l I ain't know how to
spell it. I didn't get ninety nine in English for nothing.
And let me tell you something good?
Speaker 9 (19:25):
You think everybody?
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Oh here's Claudette. Oh hello, how are you doing well?
Everybody's here now.
Speaker 9 (19:30):
Just at the coffee on the table.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Riches, Yes, madam, coffee, Fletcher, No, thank you, yes, three,
I'll I'll have a cup too. Oh I'm sorry you, Jack, thanks,
m gee, Claudette. This is the better coffee I ever taste.
(19:54):
The word is best. There are only two of us
drinking it.
Speaker 8 (19:57):
Make up your mind, for heaven's sake. Oh, we're all here,
so let's get started.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
With the rehearsal. Richard.
Speaker 9 (20:09):
You may take the cups away now.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
But mister Benny hasn't finished his coffee yet.
Speaker 9 (20:12):
Oh well you can take his cup. He's drinking out
of a saucer.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Oh I'm through now, So let's get going with the contest.
I mean, the rehearsal.
Speaker 6 (20:21):
Just one moment, Fletcher.
Speaker 16 (20:22):
Let's get this settled from mister Benny's benefit.
Speaker 6 (20:24):
Is he or is he not replacing me in the place?
Speaker 11 (20:26):
Certainly not. That's ridiculous.
Speaker 9 (20:27):
Of course, it's ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
I think it's absurd. You stay out. Let's take my
saucer like you were told smart Alec.
Speaker 11 (20:35):
Please please let's get on with.
Speaker 15 (20:37):
The rehearsal now, mister Benny, if you insist on staying,
take a chair and be quiet.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Yes, sir, oh Clauette, is it all right if I
have some of these walnuts here? Certainly help yourself, thanks, e.
They're big ones.
Speaker 15 (20:51):
Well, uh, Claudette, if you invincent a ready, please to begin, boy?
Speaker 6 (20:56):
They not so good.
Speaker 11 (21:00):
In this play.
Speaker 15 (21:00):
You're a wealthy society girl who's married to a New
York stockbroker. That's you, Vincent, but he doesn't love you, Claudette,
And as the French say, it's the marriage of convenience.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
That was a tough one.
Speaker 11 (21:21):
Mister Benny, will you please stop eating those nuts?
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Clawdett's that I caught anyway, Mister Marco, I don't want
to sit around here like a bump on.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
A log if I can't have the lead in the play.
Isn't there something I can do? All right?
Speaker 15 (21:31):
It'll make you happy. You can play the part of
the butler. Butler, here's your script.
Speaker 9 (21:36):
Thanks.
Speaker 15 (21:37):
I remember, Claudet, you're the wife, Vincent, you're the husband
who doesn't understand her.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
And Jack I'm the butler whom Claudette really loves.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
You're the butler, that's all. Don't shower at me. I'm
old enough to be your brother. Heaven's to Betsy.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
All right for that?
Speaker 11 (21:58):
Are you start the scene? Remember your husband is too
always late for dinner, and you're a nervous wreck.
Speaker 9 (22:01):
I understand.
Speaker 11 (22:02):
Go ahead, you call a butler?
Speaker 9 (22:03):
Yes, oh, Smedley, Smedley.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yes, Madam Smedley. What is it, madam?
Speaker 9 (22:15):
Are you sure my husband hasn't phoned?
Speaker 1 (22:17):
No, madam? Shall I serve dinner? No? Smedley.
Speaker 9 (22:19):
Now I'm much too upset to read. I've been under
such tension all day. I feel so miserable and low.
Oh feeling low feeling. These eight words are common sense.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Jes Mo, col lock your level better.
Speaker 6 (22:34):
It's not in the square.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Oh oh, I'm sorry.
Speaker 9 (22:40):
Some butler was singing commercials yet yeah.
Speaker 11 (22:44):
Now caught.
Speaker 16 (22:45):
At this point, the husband enters the room. Go ahead, Vinson,
make your entry. Okay, good evening, Darling. So sorry I
am late.
Speaker 9 (22:50):
Oh, Michael, you're always late and you're always sorry. It's
been like this for months.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
What's come between us?
Speaker 9 (22:56):
If I only knew, maybe we could work things out.
Speaker 16 (22:59):
It's nothing my dearest that I've been so busy lately
at the office. Now, let's forget it. Come in and
give me a kiss, and perhaps we can dinner.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Sir, Oh, pardon me, I came in too soon.
Speaker 9 (23:16):
I can't just kiss you and forget it. Michael, we
must come to some understanding.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
This can't go on forever when let's be adult about
the whole thing, shall we?
Speaker 6 (23:24):
Every night?
Speaker 16 (23:25):
It's the same argument, this constant nagging, nagging, nagging.
Speaker 6 (23:28):
I tell you, I've been working.
Speaker 9 (23:29):
At the office and I phoned your office and they
said you left it to this afternoon.
Speaker 16 (23:33):
Well, I had business at the bank. Do I have
to explain my every move to you? Your jealousy is
driving me insane.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
This one's got a worm in it. I'll put it
back on the ball.
Speaker 11 (23:53):
Not interrupting, I'll continue.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Cadet coach knew he's Michael.
Speaker 9 (23:58):
I know you're lying.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Look at you.
Speaker 9 (24:00):
Everything you say, everything you do, gives you away. We
must reach a definite understanding.
Speaker 6 (24:05):
You can keep on talking. I'm going to have dinner, But.
Speaker 9 (24:07):
Michael, I gotta go through with another day of this uncertainty.
Speaker 12 (24:10):
I must know do you love me or not?
Speaker 6 (24:12):
Of course I love you, you're.
Speaker 16 (24:14):
Lying, Michael, lying, Well, then I'm lying. You might as
well know the truth, my dear. I've never loved you, never,
And if you weren't so stupid, you'd have known it
long ago.
Speaker 6 (24:23):
Michael, what I married you for your money, that's all.
Speaker 16 (24:27):
Everybody else knew it. And if you want such a
blind little food, you would have realized it yourself. Michael,
Now that you know how things stand, sooner you divorce me,
the happier i'll be.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
No. No, I'll never divorce you, Michael. I go to
live without you, my.
Speaker 16 (24:41):
Good my god, years, DearS, don't stop the dramatics.
Speaker 6 (24:45):
I'm moving to my club Smedley, pack my clothes.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
I wouldn't touch your dirty cl you stinker.
Speaker 11 (25:17):
Please be quiet, Jack continue, Vincent, well, goodbye, Gren.
Speaker 6 (25:20):
I'm going to the club how a tennis can get
together tomorrow.
Speaker 9 (25:23):
Don't go, Michael, Please don't go hanging on to me.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
I won't give you wealth.
Speaker 6 (25:27):
I won't.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
I won't up.
Speaker 6 (25:28):
And I say that and take that.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
That doesn't striking a woman. Put your dukes, mister, Pipe,
what come on?
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Pipe? Oh?
Speaker 11 (25:40):
Look at Benny.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
He's out cold.
Speaker 9 (25:43):
Vincent, you shouldn't have hit him so hard.
Speaker 6 (25:45):
I didn't hit him, I did, Madam.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Shall I throw some cold water in his face?
Speaker 9 (25:52):
No, you will just go in the other room and rehearse.
Come on, Vincent and bring the walnut.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Tack.
Speaker 6 (26:07):
Will be back in just a moment.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
The first smoker Lucky, smaller, Lucky.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
You see, Luckies, fine tobacco picks you up when you're low,
calms you down when you're tenth. It's good to know
that fine tobacco can do this for you, and that's
why it's so important that you select and smoke the
cigarette of fine tobacco Lucky Strike. For as you know
LS MFT, LS MFT, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. No
wonder more. Independent tobacco experts, auctioneers, buyers, and warehousemen smoke
(26:41):
Lucky Strike regularly than the next two leading brands combined. Yes,
Luckies are the overwhelming choice of the men who really
know tobacco. So when you choose your cigarette, remember that
Luckies fine tobacco put you on the right level, the
lucky level where you feel your best and do your best.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Feeling low feeling.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
He's eat the commonsense SMUK Lucky to be smoke, Lucky.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
To be avel that Mary has a lot of nerves. Oh, Jack, Jack,
holdo for Dad?
Speaker 9 (27:23):
What are you sitting on the curb for?
Speaker 8 (27:25):
Oh, it's all your fault. You told Mary what happened
at your house the other night. Now she's inside telling
it to Dennison Phil And you know Mary, she'll put
in a lot of things that aren't even true.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 9 (27:35):
By the way, Jack, how's your nose?
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Well it's a little better, but it still hurts. Good night, folks.
Where did you gotta let the herd to turn in?
To the city Sunday line up which inclusive credential Hour Jack.
Speaker 14 (27:49):
Benny Ms, Landy Sham Spain and Lemon Abner, don't miss
Dana Meethi and You're a Lucky strike every afternoon and
listen to Dennis Day and a Day in the Life
of Dennis Day.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
This this CB as the Columbia Rock Campting System.
The level.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
And Lamerican the Jack Belly Program presented by Lucky Strike.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
Feeling low feeling tends eight quarts of common sense.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Smoke Lucky to be your level best.
Speaker 4 (00:19):
Smoke Lucky to best.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Your level best.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
That's just how you'll feel when you line up a
Lucky because Lucky's fine tobacco picks you up when you're low,
calms you down when you're tents, put you on the
right level to feel and do your level best. It's
important to know that fine tobacco can do this for you,
and ls m F T L s m f T
Lucky Strike means fine tobacco, mild, right, thoroughly enjoyable tobacco.
(00:49):
So next time you buy cigarettes, remember Lucky's fine tobacco
picks you up when you're low, calms you down when
you're tents, put you on the Lucky level where you
feel your best and.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Do your best.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
So smoke a Lucky to feel your level best.
Speaker 5 (01:12):
The Lucky Strike programs starring Jack Benny with Phil Harris,
Rochester's Dennis Day, Don Wilson, and Yours Truly Merry Livingston,
Ladies and gentlemen. Today is my turn to make the
(01:33):
opening announcement because Jack still has Don Wilson locked in
his den and he intends to keep him there till
Don signs his new contract. As we look at it
on Jack's home, we find him in Rochester discussing the situation.
Speaker 6 (01:44):
Boss.
Speaker 7 (01:45):
I don't like the button to your affairs, but I
think that if you won't let mister Wilson go, you
ought at least give him a little food. He's lost
so much weight his face is getting off within it is. Yeah,
this morning, I'm peeking that and through the keyhole and
saw both his eyes peaking back.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Oh love, Rochester.
Speaker 8 (02:04):
I'll let mister Wilson out when he signs the contract,
and not before, good Boss.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
He's desperate for food.
Speaker 7 (02:09):
You know that moose head hanging over the piano.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Don't tell me he ain't the moose head.
Speaker 6 (02:13):
No, the piano.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Why And with.
Speaker 7 (02:17):
Those keys sticking out of his mouth, he looks like Donna.
Speaker 8 (02:19):
Meg Rochester stopped making out such silly things. I'll get it.
Oh hoo, kids, Hello Jackson. Well, this is a coincidence
all three of you coming at the same time.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
Jack, It's no coincidence. We're over here to make a protest.
A protest yes, just because John won't sign his contract,
you lock him up like a common criminal.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
It's awful, it's humiliating. It's in selling to his dignity.
Oh it is a What have you got to say
about a dentist? Nothing? Tenors are a diamond, doesn't well, looks.
I don't think this is any of your business.
Speaker 8 (03:03):
I happen to be the boss of my program and
I'll run things the way I want it.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Well, we're making it our business, oh you are. Let
me tell you something.
Speaker 8 (03:09):
A business is like a ship, and whether it sinks
or floats depends upon the captain. And you know what
it is when the crew revolts against the captain. Yeah,
that's matinee. That's mute me, Matinee. I'm ashamed of all
of you, but you're the most merry. Imagine you being
the ringleader after all I've done for you, took it
(03:30):
from nothing, put you on the radio, and made a big.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Star out of you, some big star.
Speaker 5 (03:34):
If I didn't double at the Burbank Theater, I starved it.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
The Burbank Theater, Chief Bull of Fire Livingston. So now listen,
all of you.
Speaker 8 (03:49):
Now, my business dealings with Don Wilson don't concern you.
The only things you should be interested in are your
own contract.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Well, I got a beef on that, Jackson. Look at
the way you got me to sign my last contract.
What are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (03:59):
You signed it and I know, but look at the
way you tortured me. You shoved the billiard ball in
my mouth and locked me in a room with a
bottle of bourbon. G Phil, What did you do?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Had to not got my front teeth to get the
ball out, you know, to get the bourbon in.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Now Look, look, kids, you are better off than I am.
Speaker 9 (04:20):
Philed, mister Bennie signed me to the longest term contract
in radio.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
How long is your contract with Jackson, kid?
Speaker 10 (04:24):
I don't know, but when I signed it, he slipped
a ring on my finger and said, till death do
us part.
Speaker 8 (04:31):
You kid, should be happy you're working for me. There's
something to be proud of.
Speaker 5 (04:35):
Well, I still think it's humiliating, particularly that clause. You
have my contact saying that if anything terrible happens to
my sister babe, you have the right to use it
on your program. Well, marry well, Babe wrote me and
said she's fed up with it. All those terrible things
you say about her like she's modeling harnesses or she
was voted miss lower plate wobble or a plain floor
and dropped the veil.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Hey, you gotta stop that.
Speaker 6 (04:56):
Jack.
Speaker 8 (04:56):
Okay, by the way, how are things going with your sister, babe?
Speaker 5 (05:00):
And he meets gorgeous George the Olympic Wednesday?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Did you write that down? Rochester? Got it?
Speaker 6 (05:11):
Good? Yeah?
Speaker 11 (05:13):
Jack?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Jack?
Speaker 12 (05:14):
There Don rattling at the door. He must be stopped.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Jack's not locked that door, so we can talk to him.
Speaker 9 (05:19):
I will now Jack, open that door.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
We want to talk to Don. Oh all right, wait,
wait to tuck you done? Well? Don, are you going
to sign that contract?
Speaker 6 (05:31):
I was, I w was? Who's that with you? Who
are those people?
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Well?
Speaker 5 (05:37):
Don, don't you recognize as I'm Mary? And there's still
in Dennis.
Speaker 10 (05:41):
I hold all these people. Get him out of here. Jack,
so just here to torture me.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
I love Don, Don. I'm your friend Mary Livingstone.
Speaker 10 (05:48):
Oh yes, Mary, Mary, please talk to Jack about my contract, Dennis.
Speaker 6 (05:53):
Dennis, tell Jack to.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Give me a fair deal.
Speaker 11 (05:56):
Tell him how.
Speaker 6 (05:57):
Lousy he is.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
Oh, he knows that. Quiet. You better sign that contract. Dantee,
you ain't round and firm anymore? Now, why don't you
listen to reason? And then who's that? Oh?
Speaker 9 (06:09):
Look at the window, mister Benny.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
It's your quartet, the sportsman. I wonder what they want, Jack.
Speaker 6 (06:14):
That's the only pleasure I get. They come over every
day and serenade me.
Speaker 10 (06:18):
Raise the window, Jack please, okay, go.
Speaker 6 (06:25):
Ahead, fellows, sing to me.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
If you had the wings of an angel.
Speaker 13 (06:35):
Form of these prison walls, you could.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
Lie, You could lie, and then.
Speaker 13 (06:43):
You can line up a lucky and right honest John
in up. Oh we miss you, dear Dom, We all
miss you.
Speaker 14 (06:59):
And we're a thing that you won't be there long,
won't be there long.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
But if Jack keeps you in there forever and sing low,
be low, intense, a smoke lucky. If you leveldest smoke lucky.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
I mean you turn to We'll always see your very
level best best best levelest.
Speaker 8 (07:48):
That that was very nice, boys, Now, now close the window,
don down. That quartet touched a soft spot in my heart.
Now I'll give you that rage you were holding out for. Now,
sign the contract and go home.
Speaker 6 (07:59):
Okay, okay, give me the pad. I'm Sigy, I'm Sigyn.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
There I did it. I did it. A pray a
pray dear me free look out for the window. Oh
my goodness, he jumped afrae pray, pray hee. It's it's
(08:35):
too it's too bad. He ran away so fast.
Speaker 8 (08:38):
I was going to give him a new suit and
a five dollar bill. Now, look, kids, I hope you
all learned something from this. Now that I let down out,
I don't want to have trouble with anyone else from
now on when we have rehearsals, be on time, pay
attention to your job, and take direction from me, and
there'll be no trouble.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Direction from you, certainly.
Speaker 8 (08:58):
I've been in radio for seven years and I know
how things should be done. That's why I'm so much
in demand.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
A man.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Wait a minute, Dad, you told me you were going
to be on the Fourth Theater last Friday night. So
I tuned in and heard Claudette, Colbert and Vincent Price.
You weren't even on, well, Phil.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
They begged me, but at the last minute I couldn't
make it. Beg you.
Speaker 12 (09:16):
That is what Claudette told me.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Mary. We're not discussing that. Now. What did Claudete tell you? Mary? Mary?
Speaker 8 (09:21):
If you say one word, I'm leaving the room. I
don't want to hear this silly talk.
Speaker 5 (09:24):
I don't care.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
I'm gonna tell him all right, then I'm going out
go on o Levey tell us, Well.
Speaker 5 (09:31):
Here's what happened last week when Jack heard that Claudette
Colbert was going to be on the Fourth Theater program.
Speaker 12 (09:36):
Yeah yeah, he medn't be called out Mis Marca.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
The director of the show, and try to get on
it too.
Speaker 12 (09:42):
He couldn't wait to get to the phone and call.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Mister mark.
Speaker 12 (09:48):
Hello, Keny in a neck Heart radio advertising agency.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
May I speak to mister Markle. Please? Who's calling Jack Benny?
What's your hooper? Uh twenty eight point nine. Oh, then,
mister Markle, we'll talk to you. Thank you.
Speaker 6 (10:08):
Hello.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Oh hello, mister Markle.
Speaker 11 (10:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Uh, mister Markle. Uh this is Jack Benny.
Speaker 11 (10:20):
Yes, mister Benny. What can I do for you?
Speaker 8 (10:22):
Well, I understand that Claude ed Colbert and Vincent Price
are appearing on your Ford Theater program.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
That's right, Well, I thought perhaps you might like to
use me instead of Vincent Price.
Speaker 15 (10:33):
Mister Benny. Didn't you do personal appearances in Europe last summer?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yes, yes I did, and uh you.
Speaker 11 (10:40):
Just finished producing a picture called The Lucky stiff. Uh
huh and uh didn't you just sell your program to CBS?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Yes, yes, that's right.
Speaker 11 (10:48):
Well, please let somebody else make a buck, will.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
Mister markl.
Speaker 8 (10:57):
Mister Mirkle. It's it's not a question of money, it's
a matter of for casting. Now, does missus Colbert know
that you have bencent price?
Speaker 1 (11:04):
She picked him?
Speaker 8 (11:08):
Well, don't you think it would be better if we now,
wait a minute, mister Markle, if you give me the job,
I can save you money.
Speaker 6 (11:19):
You care.
Speaker 8 (11:19):
Yes, I cannot only act, but I can play in
the orchestra. You see, I'm also a violinist.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
So you see, by doing two jobs, two jobs for
the same salary, I'll be beating Vincent's price.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Hey, that was a good one, mister Marco.
Speaker 11 (11:38):
Mister Marco, just a moment, pleaze, I'm cutting my wrists.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
I'll wait, I mean, wait a minute. Look, there's no need,
there's no need for bloodshed.
Speaker 8 (11:54):
Now, mister Markle, if you don't mind, I'll call miss
Colbert and take the matter up directly with her.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
I wish you would, thank you.
Speaker 6 (12:00):
Goodbye.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Let's see I look Claudett's number up in the phone book.
Speaker 6 (12:04):
Yeah, here we are.
Speaker 8 (12:06):
Caldwell Caldron, cold fat, cold Cats. I used to go
with a girl named cold Cats Blossom cold Cots. See
(12:27):
here we are Coldbert, Coldbert. Oh here it is Claudette
Colbert Cresview seven three eight seven two.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
Hello, Hello, I'd like to speak to Claudette Colbert. Please,
this is Colbert speaker. Oh hello Claudette.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Uh, guess who this is? Well?
Speaker 9 (12:58):
Really, I haven't the slightest I well you you know
me very well?
Speaker 1 (13:02):
Come on, get well. No, remember a few years ago
at Paramount, who had the dressing room next to yours?
Speaker 9 (13:09):
Oh, hello, Dorothy, Dorothy.
Speaker 8 (13:18):
Look at this isn't Lamore. Look Dorothy's dressing room was
on one side of yours. Now who was on the
other side?
Speaker 1 (13:24):
That was a wash room.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
Only part of 'emqadette Cordette.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
This is Jack.
Speaker 11 (13:36):
Oh Jack?
Speaker 9 (13:37):
Hello Jack?
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Who Lord Jack? Benny be at crdette. You'll never guess
why I'm calling.
Speaker 9 (13:45):
You're starting a pyramid club.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
I mean, besides that. Look.
Speaker 8 (13:59):
One one of the reasons I called is to tell
you that I saw your latest picture, Family Honeymoon.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
I thought you were wonderful in its. Oh thank you,
you were really marvelous.
Speaker 8 (14:07):
I thought your characterization, your sincerity and your comedy interpretation
surpressed anything I have ever seen.
Speaker 1 (14:12):
On the screen.
Speaker 9 (14:13):
Well, that's awfully fleet of you, Jack. I want to
congratulate you on.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I want Claude d what have you been doing lately?
Speaker 6 (14:25):
Lately?
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I'm with Columbia now, oh well, how are.
Speaker 9 (14:28):
Things on Broadway at nine?
Speaker 1 (14:33):
No?
Speaker 2 (14:33):
No, you're you're thinking of Eastern Columbia. See, I'm with CBS.
Oh but look, Claudete, here's what I want to talk
to you about. You see, Fletcher Marco, the director of
the Ford Theater, just called me about the show you're
going to do, called you yes, and he suggested that
I play the part of your husband and the sketch.
Speaker 9 (14:50):
But I understood Vincent Price was playing the plod well.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
He was scheduled to.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
But if you want me, all you've got to do
is speak up, I said, all you've got to do
is speak up, Claudette, just.
Speaker 9 (15:07):
Call me Johnny Belinda.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Oh oh, well, I I wish to think this over
because it would really be a wonderful break, especially for me.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Oh I wouldn't say that. Let's say it'll do us
both a lot of good, shall we?
Speaker 9 (15:24):
Would you mind hanging up?
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Wait a minute, Claudette, how about the idea?
Speaker 9 (15:29):
Honestly, Jack, I have nothing to look on that.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
I've got another idea. Why can't you please.
Speaker 9 (15:33):
Deposit five stats for an additional three minutes?
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Three minutes already? Yes, a second? Would you mind dropping
a nickel in? Claudette? You called me?
Speaker 9 (15:44):
Remember?
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Oh that's right? What am I thinking of here? I've
got a nickel there?
Speaker 8 (15:50):
See it doesn't seem like we've been talking for three minutes,
does it, Claudette?
Speaker 9 (15:53):
You ought to be on this end.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Well, it come to the point when do you start
rehearsing for the place to night at my house?
Speaker 9 (16:04):
But I don't see tonight?
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Well look at at your house? At what time?
Speaker 9 (16:07):
No, Jack, eight o'clock?
Speaker 1 (16:08):
I really don't see eight o'clock. Thanks, Claudette, see you tonight.
Speaker 8 (16:11):
I'll read the part, and Bencent Price will read the part,
and may the best man win, I hope.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
So I knew you'd be plugging for me. Blue goodbye, goodbye?
Oh by the way, Claudee, shall I come for dinner?
Clardere crdett. Gee, that's second. Three minutes went fast?
Speaker 5 (16:26):
And you know kids after that, you think Jack would
have sense enough to stay away, but not little blue Eyes,
no kidding.
Speaker 6 (16:41):
No.
Speaker 5 (16:41):
At eight o'clock, Shark, he showed up at Claudette Colbert's house.
Speaker 8 (16:46):
Gee, Claudette has a nice home. Yes, sir, missus Colbert
is expecting me for rehearsal. I'm Jack Benny.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
All right, this way, mister Bennet, I take your hats
and coat, and here you are. Thank you. Well, it's
the first time I ever saw half of the bird
nest in it. Give me that it came off. They're
going to rehearse in the drawing room, mister Bennam, I'll.
Speaker 6 (17:17):
Show you it.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Thank you. Mister Price is already here. Oh he is
one of those uh, one of those anxious guys. Eh.
Speaker 8 (17:27):
Well, well, mister Bencent Price, I'm Jack Benny the movie size.
Speaker 6 (17:38):
How do you do?
Speaker 1 (17:41):
How do you do, mister Price? So the two rivals meet, Eh, rivals?
Speaker 6 (17:46):
What do you mean?
Speaker 8 (17:47):
Well, perhaps I should let Claudette tell you, but it
looks like I'm taking your place on the Ford Theater program.
Speaker 6 (17:51):
That's ridiculous, old boy. Oh no, it is.
Speaker 8 (17:53):
You see it rehearsal tonight. You and I are both
going to read the part, and of course the best
man will win.
Speaker 6 (17:58):
The best man.
Speaker 16 (17:59):
Yeah, mister Benny, when only two people are involved in
a statement, the comparative is used. You don't say the
best man will win, You say the better man will win. Now,
if three or more people are involved, then the word
best is the correct educate. I see, So before we
compete for this part, mister Benny, it might be well
if you first learned to speak English.
Speaker 8 (18:28):
Well for your information, mister Price, I went to Walkegan
High School for four years and I excelled in English.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
In fact, I got ninety nine every single term.
Speaker 6 (18:36):
Well, ain't that ginger peaching? Now?
Speaker 2 (18:43):
I've heard of sore losers in my life, but this
guy takes the cave step writing here mister Mickle.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Miss Colbert will be with you shortly.
Speaker 11 (18:50):
Thank you.
Speaker 6 (18:51):
Hello, Bencent Fletcher, old boy? How are you fine?
Speaker 11 (18:54):
Fine?
Speaker 1 (18:54):
Hello? Mister Markall.
Speaker 11 (18:55):
What are you doing here?
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Well?
Speaker 16 (18:57):
I just thought i'd drop around and see if that
is fer. I don't know what this is all about,
and my demand an explanation? Am I or Am I
not going to appear opposite? Miss Colbert?
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Of course you are.
Speaker 6 (19:06):
Then what is this schlamielle talking about?
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Slamiel Yes, s h l I ain't know how to
spell it. I didn't get ninety nine in English for nothing.
And let me tell you something good?
Speaker 9 (19:25):
You think everybody?
Speaker 1 (19:26):
Oh here's Claudette. Oh hello, how are you doing well?
Everybody's here now.
Speaker 9 (19:30):
Just at the coffee on the table.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Riches, Yes, madam, coffee, Fletcher, No, thank you, yes, three,
I'll I'll have a cup too. Oh I'm sorry you, Jack, thanks,
m gee, Claudette. This is the better coffee I ever taste.
(19:54):
The word is best. There are only two of us
drinking it.
Speaker 8 (19:57):
Make up your mind, for heaven's sake. Oh, we're all here,
so let's get started.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
With the rehearsal. Richard.
Speaker 9 (20:09):
You may take the cups away now.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
But mister Benny hasn't finished his coffee yet.
Speaker 9 (20:12):
Oh well you can take his cup. He's drinking out
of a saucer.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Oh I'm through now, So let's get going with the contest.
I mean, the rehearsal.
Speaker 6 (20:21):
Just one moment, Fletcher.
Speaker 16 (20:22):
Let's get this settled from mister Benny's benefit.
Speaker 6 (20:24):
Is he or is he not replacing me in the place?
Speaker 11 (20:26):
Certainly not. That's ridiculous.
Speaker 9 (20:27):
Of course, it's ridiculous.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
I think it's absurd. You stay out. Let's take my
saucer like you were told smart Alec.
Speaker 11 (20:35):
Please please let's get on with.
Speaker 15 (20:37):
The rehearsal now, mister Benny, if you insist on staying,
take a chair and be quiet.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Yes, sir, oh Clauette, is it all right if I
have some of these walnuts here? Certainly help yourself, thanks, e.
They're big ones.
Speaker 15 (20:51):
Well, uh, Claudette, if you invincent a ready, please to begin, boy?
Speaker 6 (20:56):
They not so good.
Speaker 11 (21:00):
In this play.
Speaker 15 (21:00):
You're a wealthy society girl who's married to a New
York stockbroker. That's you, Vincent, but he doesn't love you, Claudette,
And as the French say, it's the marriage of convenience.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
That was a tough one.
Speaker 11 (21:21):
Mister Benny, will you please stop eating those nuts?
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Clawdett's that I caught anyway, Mister Marco, I don't want
to sit around here like a bump on.
Speaker 1 (21:28):
A log if I can't have the lead in the play.
Isn't there something I can do? All right?
Speaker 15 (21:31):
It'll make you happy. You can play the part of
the butler. Butler, here's your script.
Speaker 9 (21:36):
Thanks.
Speaker 15 (21:37):
I remember, Claudet, you're the wife, Vincent, you're the husband
who doesn't understand her.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
And Jack I'm the butler whom Claudette really loves.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
You're the butler, that's all. Don't shower at me. I'm
old enough to be your brother. Heaven's to Betsy.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
All right for that?
Speaker 11 (21:58):
Are you start the scene? Remember your husband is too
always late for dinner, and you're a nervous wreck.
Speaker 9 (22:01):
I understand.
Speaker 11 (22:02):
Go ahead, you call a butler?
Speaker 9 (22:03):
Yes, oh, Smedley, Smedley.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yes, Madam Smedley. What is it, madam?
Speaker 9 (22:15):
Are you sure my husband hasn't phoned?
Speaker 1 (22:17):
No, madam? Shall I serve dinner? No? Smedley.
Speaker 9 (22:19):
Now I'm much too upset to read. I've been under
such tension all day. I feel so miserable and low.
Oh feeling low feeling. These eight words are common sense.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Jes Mo, col lock your level better.
Speaker 6 (22:34):
It's not in the square.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Oh oh, I'm sorry.
Speaker 9 (22:40):
Some butler was singing commercials yet yeah.
Speaker 11 (22:44):
Now caught.
Speaker 16 (22:45):
At this point, the husband enters the room. Go ahead, Vinson,
make your entry. Okay, good evening, Darling. So sorry I
am late.
Speaker 9 (22:50):
Oh, Michael, you're always late and you're always sorry. It's
been like this for months.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
What's come between us?
Speaker 9 (22:56):
If I only knew, maybe we could work things out.
Speaker 16 (22:59):
It's nothing my dearest that I've been so busy lately
at the office. Now, let's forget it. Come in and
give me a kiss, and perhaps we can dinner.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
Sir, Oh, pardon me, I came in too soon.
Speaker 9 (23:16):
I can't just kiss you and forget it. Michael, we
must come to some understanding.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
This can't go on forever when let's be adult about
the whole thing, shall we?
Speaker 6 (23:24):
Every night?
Speaker 16 (23:25):
It's the same argument, this constant nagging, nagging, nagging.
Speaker 6 (23:28):
I tell you, I've been working.
Speaker 9 (23:29):
At the office and I phoned your office and they
said you left it to this afternoon.
Speaker 16 (23:33):
Well, I had business at the bank. Do I have
to explain my every move to you? Your jealousy is
driving me insane.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
This one's got a worm in it. I'll put it
back on the ball.
Speaker 11 (23:53):
Not interrupting, I'll continue.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Cadet coach knew he's Michael.
Speaker 9 (23:58):
I know you're lying.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Look at you.
Speaker 9 (24:00):
Everything you say, everything you do, gives you away. We
must reach a definite understanding.
Speaker 6 (24:05):
You can keep on talking. I'm going to have dinner, But.
Speaker 9 (24:07):
Michael, I gotta go through with another day of this uncertainty.
Speaker 12 (24:10):
I must know do you love me or not?
Speaker 6 (24:12):
Of course I love you, you're.
Speaker 16 (24:14):
Lying, Michael, lying, Well, then I'm lying. You might as
well know the truth, my dear. I've never loved you, never,
And if you weren't so stupid, you'd have known it
long ago.
Speaker 6 (24:23):
Michael, what I married you for your money, that's all.
Speaker 16 (24:27):
Everybody else knew it. And if you want such a
blind little food, you would have realized it yourself. Michael,
Now that you know how things stand, sooner you divorce me,
the happier i'll be.
Speaker 1 (24:37):
No. No, I'll never divorce you, Michael. I go to
live without you, my.
Speaker 16 (24:41):
Good my god, years, DearS, don't stop the dramatics.
Speaker 6 (24:45):
I'm moving to my club Smedley, pack my clothes.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
I wouldn't touch your dirty cl you stinker.
Speaker 11 (25:17):
Please be quiet, Jack continue, Vincent, well, goodbye, Gren.
Speaker 6 (25:20):
I'm going to the club how a tennis can get
together tomorrow.
Speaker 9 (25:23):
Don't go, Michael, Please don't go hanging on to me.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
I won't give you wealth.
Speaker 6 (25:27):
I won't.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
I won't up.
Speaker 6 (25:28):
And I say that and take that.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
That doesn't striking a woman. Put your dukes, mister, Pipe,
what come on?
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Pipe? Oh?
Speaker 11 (25:40):
Look at Benny.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
He's out cold.
Speaker 9 (25:43):
Vincent, you shouldn't have hit him so hard.
Speaker 6 (25:45):
I didn't hit him, I did, Madam.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Shall I throw some cold water in his face?
Speaker 9 (25:52):
No, you will just go in the other room and rehearse.
Come on, Vincent and bring the walnut.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Tack.
Speaker 6 (26:07):
Will be back in just a moment.
Speaker 4 (26:08):
The first smoker Lucky, smaller, Lucky.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
You see, Luckies, fine tobacco picks you up when you're low,
calms you down when you're tenth. It's good to know
that fine tobacco can do this for you, and that's
why it's so important that you select and smoke the
cigarette of fine tobacco Lucky Strike. For as you know
LS MFT, LS MFT, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. No
wonder more. Independent tobacco experts, auctioneers, buyers, and warehousemen smoke
(26:41):
Lucky Strike regularly than the next two leading brands combined. Yes,
Luckies are the overwhelming choice of the men who really
know tobacco. So when you choose your cigarette, remember that
Luckies fine tobacco put you on the right level, the
lucky level where you feel your best and do your best.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Feeling low feeling.
Speaker 4 (27:03):
He's eat the commonsense SMUK Lucky to be smoke, Lucky.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
To be avel that Mary has a lot of nerves. Oh, Jack, Jack,
holdo for Dad?
Speaker 9 (27:23):
What are you sitting on the curb for?
Speaker 8 (27:25):
Oh, it's all your fault. You told Mary what happened
at your house the other night. Now she's inside telling
it to Dennison Phil And you know Mary, she'll put
in a lot of things that aren't even true.
Speaker 1 (27:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 9 (27:35):
By the way, Jack, how's your nose?
Speaker 1 (27:36):
Well it's a little better, but it still hurts. Good night, folks.
Where did you gotta let the herd to turn in?
To the city Sunday line up which inclusive credential Hour Jack.
Speaker 14 (27:49):
Benny Ms, Landy Sham Spain and Lemon Abner, don't miss
Dana Meethi and You're a Lucky strike every afternoon and
listen to Dennis Day and a Day in the Life
of Dennis Day.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
This this CB as the Columbia Rock Campting System.
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