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August 2, 2025 13 mins
A legendary variety show blending witty monologues, comic sketches, and musical interludes, all anchored by the impeccable timing of its beloved host. It’s a masterclass in comedic timing.
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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Never mind that. Well, I guess it must have been
my imagination. I'm kind of excited today anyway, Now, Rochester
when I come home tonight. Wait a minute, Rochester, do
I hear someone playing the piano in my house? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (00:16):
That was Joe.

Speaker 1 (00:17):
Joe. Who Joe Pigman? Now cut that out of Rochester.
You're throwing a party.

Speaker 3 (00:25):
Well, Boss, I thought as long as you were out.

Speaker 1 (00:27):
I'd invite about thirty of my friends over.

Speaker 4 (00:29):
We're celebrating New Years.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
New Year's that was six weeks ago. I know we're
wanting up the next one. Well, look, Rochester, I don't
like wild New Year's parties in my house, especially in February.
So tell your friends to go home. But Boss, you've
got the wrong impression about this party.

Speaker 4 (00:49):
All we had is two bottles of seven up.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
Two bottles of seven up for thirty people. That's impossible,
Not when you're thinned out with a case of ninety
proof Centrale Avenue today.

Speaker 4 (01:03):
Fine, tomato juice.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
Well, I'm not going to argue with you any longer.
I'll see you when I get.

Speaker 5 (01:08):
Hold oh Jack, before you hang up. Fine, out of butterflies?

Speaker 4 (01:11):
There were you? Okay?

Speaker 1 (01:12):
Oh, Rochester's Butterfly there with you.

Speaker 3 (01:14):
Yeah, she's in the kitchen making sandwiches.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
Or Miss Livingston wants to talk to her. I'll call it. Oh, Butterfly,
you want on the telephone?

Speaker 2 (01:23):
Honey? Oh goody.

Speaker 6 (01:24):
I was checking this.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
Come Hello Jerome, Butterfly. This isn't Jerome.

Speaker 6 (01:35):
Who is it?

Speaker 1 (01:36):
Foxl No, it isn't Satchmo. It's mister Benny. Miss Livingson
wants to talk to you. Here you are Mary?

Speaker 5 (01:43):
Okay, a Butterfly. This is Miss Livingston.

Speaker 6 (01:45):
Hello, Miss Livingston.

Speaker 5 (01:47):
Now, Butterfly. When you told me you were going over
to mister Benny's house, I didn't know your uncle Rochester
was throwing a party.

Speaker 4 (01:52):
There needs a good one.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
You can get a pleasure supply.

Speaker 5 (01:58):
Yes, very pleasant, living Sin.

Speaker 6 (02:00):
I hope you won't be mad at me, but I
wanted to look nice. I used your bottle of liquid socking. Uh,
my bottle of liquid stockings.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Yes. How much do you have to drink?

Speaker 5 (02:11):
If I don't for your legs, Butterfly, you're not supposed
to drink that. You're supposed to put it.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
On with your ham. Oh.

Speaker 5 (02:27):
I tried that, and what happened?

Speaker 6 (02:30):
I got a pair of glove.

Speaker 5 (02:34):
Well Butterfly. The next time you want to borrow anything,
ask for it and I'll tell you how to use it, Yes, ma'am.
And another thing, Butterfly, I think you're too young to
go to your uncle Rochester's party.

Speaker 6 (02:43):
Oh, miss Livingston, it's a very nice party. We were
just sitting around and listening to your program, but we
had to stop. Why so Uncle Rothmer Radio and all
the Tooth's blue eyes.

Speaker 5 (03:00):
Butterfly, I think you better go home and I'll see
you when I get there.

Speaker 6 (03:03):
Goodbye, good bye, Harry.

Speaker 1 (03:12):
Mary. I'm glad you got off the phone, because now
I got a big surprise for all the boys.

Speaker 5 (03:16):
Oh are you gonna give out that thirty six hour pass?

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yes, at the end of the program. But right now
I have another surprise. You know, if I was last summer,
I was overseas entertaining the boys, and in our USO
unit was one of the most outstanding artists that I've
ever been associated with. I'm speaking of Larry Adler, the
world's greatest harmonica player. And did they go for him?
I'll never forget. One night in al Jeers, the boys
were all gathered around in a circle. The moon was

(03:39):
shining as the melodic streams of his harmonica floated out
over the desert.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
App h.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
M hm, how how I remember that night? And when

(06:30):
Larry finished his first number and the cheering died away,
a hushed expectancy fell over the crowd. Remember, Larry, Yes, Jack,
They're in the desert night under the same romantic moon,
the whole audience moving closer so they wouldn't miss a
note of the haunting strains of.

Speaker 5 (06:57):
Ah.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
Remember that, Larry.

Speaker 4 (06:58):
I'll never forget it. Jack, Your playing was absolutely wonderful.

Speaker 1 (07:04):
Oh, Larry, it was nothing nothing, Oh then you know, Yeah,
But Larry, we sure had a wonderful time on that
trip little way.

Speaker 4 (07:13):
Yes, Jack, remember the day we went to the bazar
in Cairo and you bought a camel.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
A camel I'll never see I could just see it now,
the bizarre and Cairo, Cairo, Egypt, where East meets West,
where an ancient civilization mingoes with the twentieth century Cairo.
The bazaar. Well, well here we are, Larry, Larry, here

(07:54):
we are in a real Egyptian bazaar. Did you ever
think did you ever.

Speaker 4 (07:58):
Think we'd see anything like? Gee, this is even better
than the laylayer room at the mission in.

Speaker 1 (08:05):
Yeah, yeah, I hope I can buy some nice souvenirs here.

Speaker 4 (08:08):
Well, remember one thing, Jack, You've got a bargain with
these people. Don't accept their first price.

Speaker 7 (08:13):
I see.

Speaker 4 (08:14):
You must try and get everything as cheap as possible.

Speaker 1 (08:16):
As cheap as possible. Don't let me forget that, will you?

Speaker 7 (08:19):
Larry?

Speaker 5 (08:21):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (08:21):
Here here comes the clerk.

Speaker 4 (08:22):
Now remember Jack, bargain with him. Don't let him stick you.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
I won't selam alekum, how I got marsaikhan? That's too much?
What do you think we are sucker? What do you
think we are suckers? None of that stuff.

Speaker 4 (08:41):
But Jack, look, he was just bidding you welcome.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
Oh oh oh well look Larry, I want to buy
something from Mary, maybe a bracelet and gold filigree that
will cost about thirty piastres.

Speaker 4 (08:52):
You know, Jack, thirty piastres is a dollar sixty.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
A dollar sixty. Oh well, it's for Mary. How often
do I come to Egypt? Shad, Larry, you speak a little,
you speak a little Arabic. Ask him if I can
have the gold bracelet for a dollar sixty?

Speaker 4 (09:13):
Okay, I'm doc sah dahab caam.

Speaker 1 (09:16):
I buys up and the most Tatmelia. It's all va.
What did he say, Larry?

Speaker 4 (09:22):
He wishes he was on your draft board.

Speaker 1 (09:29):
Well, let me handle this, Larry. I'll talk to him.
I can. And now, look, mister, me like them, buy them,
gif them if not cost them too much? Savvy?

Speaker 4 (09:40):
Oh, how interesting in American India might presume I'm not
an Indian.

Speaker 1 (09:47):
I got red in the face waiting for the riverside bus.
I look, mister, as long as you understand English, where
what can I buy here? That it's a little souvenir
of Egypt.

Speaker 4 (10:01):
Gentlemen, I sell everything from a postcard to a camel.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
A camel, say that's an idea with a gas sord.
See what a surprise when it arrives in Hollywood. Okay, mister,
I'll buy a camel.

Speaker 4 (10:12):
Very good, sir.

Speaker 1 (10:13):
Will you take one hump or two?

Speaker 2 (10:19):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (10:19):
Is there is there a different?

Speaker 2 (10:21):
Or?

Speaker 4 (10:21):
Certainly, sir? A one hump camel can go seven days
without a drink, and a two hump camel can go
twenty one day?

Speaker 2 (10:27):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (10:27):
Really?

Speaker 5 (10:27):
Well?

Speaker 1 (10:28):
What is he keep in his second hump? Bepsicola? Oh?
I say, well, okay, mister, I'll take the two hump
camel and a bottle opener.

Speaker 4 (10:37):
Yes, sir, sir, the camel is yours. Where shall I
deliver it?

Speaker 1 (10:41):
A Shepherd's hotel here in Cairo. I'll pick it up
in the morning. Oh wait a minute, is there a
charge for delivery or nur?

Speaker 2 (10:46):
Sir?

Speaker 1 (10:46):
Well and send it to three sixty North Hampden Drive,
Beverly Hill, California.

Speaker 4 (10:51):
Come on, Larry, let's go.

Speaker 1 (10:53):
Yeah, gosh, what a wonderful street chess. That's real native music.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
That's the time you are so anxious to hear of
taking Well, what do you know?

Speaker 1 (11:15):
An air up from Dallas?

Speaker 3 (11:37):
Friends, If there's anything more delicious than a ballful of
Chris bally.

Speaker 1 (11:41):
Rich grape now, I say, don, that reminds me. Do
you know what I got Jack Free's birthday? Now?

Speaker 4 (11:45):
It's something Chris.

Speaker 1 (11:47):
Can you guess?

Speaker 5 (11:48):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (11:48):
Fail?

Speaker 3 (11:48):
You're sus, friends, grape nuts are truly distinctive. The wonderful
sweetes are not flavor.

Speaker 1 (11:54):
Don my present for Jack has the sweets are not flavored?
Now can you guess?

Speaker 4 (11:58):
All?

Speaker 1 (11:58):
Fail? Be yourself? Let it go and.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
Friends, grape nuts are a mighty thrifty by that big
little twelve bounce package brings you up to sixteen servings
for only about a penny of survey.

Speaker 1 (12:08):
Grape nuts are plentiful and liiteration. Don My present for
Jack is on ration. Now can you guess?

Speaker 3 (12:14):
Oh, brother, you caught.

Speaker 1 (12:15):
Me and friends.

Speaker 3 (12:16):
Grape nuts are chuck full of whole grain nourishment, one
kind of nourishment nutrition experts say we.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
Need every day.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
Oh gee, whole grain nourishment. Hmmm, Well, I can't say
that about my presence.

Speaker 3 (12:28):
What do you mean you can always say that about
grape nuts.

Speaker 1 (12:31):
Grape nuts? Oh, I didn't get grape nuts for Jack? What? Well?
What have you been talking about all this time? I've
been talking about a box of peanut briddle, Donzie, Paul.

Speaker 3 (12:40):
Phil whoever heard a peanut briddle with milk and sugar
for breakfast? You better go out and get Jack some
grape nuts, and our fellas.

Speaker 1 (12:46):
I'm gonna keep my promise and give one of you
a thirty six hour pass. I'm gonna pick the lucky
number out of this box. Now, this is no kidd
and really, I got permit here it is get your
Seio lumbers, dear fellas. Yeah, it's number oh for one
six five, oh oh for to one sixty five? Oh

(13:07):
will a soldier with that number, please stand up and
take a bow. Come up on the stage right after
the show, and you'll get your past for thirty six hours.
Come on up.

Speaker 4 (13:14):
Why here he is.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
No, yes, no, yes, no reading and truly you bet.

Speaker 7 (13:24):
When you buy the big new Economy package of Hot
Great Nuts sweet Meal, you get more cereal for your money.
Compare and see a bargain in quantity and quality too.
Get Hot Great Nuts sweet meal and the big new
money saving package that says economy and really means it.

Speaker 3 (13:38):
This broadcast from Marchfield does not constitute an endorsement of
our products for the War Department.

Speaker 7 (13:43):
This is the National Broadcasting Company
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