July 23, 2025 • 22 mins
A legendary variety show blending witty monologues, comic sketches, and musical interludes, all anchored by the impeccable timing of its beloved host. It’s a masterclass in comedic timing.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
All the Jello program, sorrying Jack Benny with John Bester
and his Orchestra.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
The orchestra opens the program with take it easy now,
(01:15):
ladies and gentlemen, I present to you that wizard of
mirth and wit, that gentleman of gentlemen. I see a
man who is a credit to his community, loves.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
And honored by all.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Mister Jack Sennish.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
I get you.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
I get it, I get it.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Wilson's not fooling equos. Christmas is nine days off.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
He knows what he's doing.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yes, sir, this is the time of year when every
rat turns into a lamb until.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
After the holidays.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Yeah, well it doesn't change me.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
No, you're still a rat. Well, Jack, to you my spirits,
he's me from punching you in the nose.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Yes, Don, we must be happy, although I didn't like that.
Speaker 5 (02:00):
That's cracked.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
You're right, Jack.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
We should forgive our enemies to let joy the unrefined.
Right now, Don, there's no one in the world that
I hate.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I feel so good. I'm afraid I'm overdoing it. How
do you feel, Don? My rumism is bumming you terribly? Well,
just ignore it until after the holidays. I've got falling arches.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
But I'm not gonna pick him up until after Christmas,
I'll say, Jack, Tomir, I'm making out my Christmas list.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Now, what do you think all to get for Frank?
Speaker 4 (02:28):
Parker?
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Parker?
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Let's see, see there's a hard guy to fix anything
for all?
Speaker 4 (02:35):
About a shirt? No, he's got one. Hey, I'll tell
you what?
Speaker 3 (02:41):
How about us?
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Food of pajamas? No, I'm not Parker. He wears a
nice job.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Oh he does, well, then get him a yard of
blue riftons.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
What are you going to do, Parker?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Jack, I've got a necktie for him. Don This is
a nice looking tie.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Sure, the one you gave me Christmas? Remember?
Speaker 6 (03:01):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Yes, well here I am.
Speaker 5 (03:04):
As a fiddle, but thin as a flute.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Hey Parker, Parker, how did.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
You get here so early?
Speaker 6 (03:12):
Jake sent me?
Speaker 4 (03:13):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (03:15):
Hey, Jack, I'm making out a Christmas list.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Now. Want you think I ought to get John Wilson
for Christmas? I don't know, Frank. You know he and
I have been pretty good pals. Well, I don't know
how much? How much do you want to spend? Oh
about a half a dollar? We get to send your
Pala telegram?
Speaker 5 (03:31):
You know, well, thanks, Jack, Say what size shirt.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
Is best to wear? Best? I don't know. I think
he wears a twelve and a half. Did you buy
it yet?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (03:41):
But I got sy seventeen.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Well you've got to allow for shrinking, you know, Yeah,
but gee, do you think it's gonna shrink that much? Say?
The shirt you buy will probably evaporate? Now?
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Oh you're here too? Uh? Mary?
Speaker 4 (03:56):
What's killing you? Oh?
Speaker 5 (03:57):
Well, human everything?
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Listen, Jack water Parens.
Speaker 5 (04:03):
I just wear a black suit.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
But he doesn't marry. He wears a red suit. I
mean after he gets down the chimney. Oh, I see,
what's the answer.
Speaker 5 (04:11):
It's a chimney a joke.
Speaker 8 (04:14):
Mary?
Speaker 4 (04:14):
Where do you get those jokes every week ending? Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:18):
There, don't bother me for a while. Jack, I've got
to make out my Christmas list?
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Oh yeah, who's on your list? Mary? Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:24):
The boys in this program? This and Jack? I want
to get a shirt to Wilson. What side sky shirt
you wear?
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Well?
Speaker 4 (04:31):
I wear a fifteen. What's I gotta do with Wilson?
Speaker 5 (04:33):
Well, you're always wearing a shirt.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
Oh that's right, get him a fifteen? Then? What are
you going to get your father married? Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:40):
I've got him a cigar lighter. But I've got to
change it.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Why Mary, that's a beautiful cigar lighter. Why do you
have to change it?
Speaker 8 (04:47):
I just remember he smokes cigarettes.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Oh, yes, it would be hard to light a cigarette
from a cigar lighter. Yes.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
By the way, Mary, what happened to that gold ring
I gave you last Christmas? I never see you wear it?
Speaker 6 (04:58):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:58):
I was to play to tell you that's all lost it.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Oh that's fine, and you said you take such good
care of it.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
I did, well?
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Then how did you lose it?
Speaker 5 (05:06):
The finance company took us.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
The last time I'll buy anything from that company.
Speaker 8 (05:11):
You're telling them?
Speaker 5 (05:13):
Oh, Russian? Where do you think I ought to get
my mother? She's sixty four years old and doesn't like fitness.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
Here it comes, folks.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Get her some jello at all.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
And she'll find it plice as rich as last Christmas.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
He got sick right into my budget.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Well, now that we got our advertising in, Don Besser
will play the medley from the Music Box Review.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Are you ready?
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Don? Yes, Jack, Let's just come here a minute, will you?
What is it? I was Christmas shopping all day and
I don't know what to get for five boxers. Can
you suggest something, Well, how about a cigarette case or
a razor. That's it. I'll get him a nice safety rasor.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
No, Don getting one of those straight barbers razors.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
But he's like I was a cut himself.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
That's the idea he played, Don, So.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Not as long as they keep wearing those fats, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
A man who wears fats is an or a hero.
Speaker 5 (06:13):
Then again, they have holes in the top.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Well, anyway, Don, I wouldn't hurt your boys feeling for
the world.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
You know, I used to be a musician myself.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Well, I had my own orchestra at the Barrison Theater
in Walkegan, Illinois.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
You did, eh, yes, sir? How big was your orchestra?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
I had a great fun don Let's see, there was me,
of course, I was the leader and first.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
Fiddle, I see.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
And we had a fellow named high Fet played second fiddle,
I think is I think his name was Yashka, I
don't know. Then I had a Polish fellow at the piano.
He had a funny.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
Name like pat Ruski something. The Rudy Valley was my
saxophone players.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Abe Lyman played drums, and then we had a blues
singer Lily Pond.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
Christ what happened to all those they're doing that alone?
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Well that was somehow happened to all those people. All
they're doing that along the country. They can't seem to
get anything steady?
Speaker 5 (07:10):
Do you still like to play the violin jacket?
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Don wants a violin player, always a violin player.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
You know, every time I hear.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Your boys tune up their fiddles, I feel like an
old fire horse when he hears the bell playing. You
look like one too, Mary, whoever heard of a horse
playing a fiddle?
Speaker 4 (07:28):
What kind of stuff do you? Ruben Stein? You play?
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Jack? Oh?
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Anything? You know ruben Stein's Stormy Weather or Mandelssohn's Hold
that Tiger? Say? Do you know what I'd like to
do tonight? John?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
You see, my dad came out to visit me from
Waukee in and he's up here in the studio watching
the program. And I think there'd be kind of knights
if I played the violin solo right now. He get
a big kick out of it. Sure, Jack, go out
of here and.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
Have one of your boys loan me his fiddle with
you done during no spike, lo mister Benny your fiddle.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Spike, Spike, alright, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
See what.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
I told you?
Speaker 3 (08:09):
This is a pretty good sittle, isn't it?
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Is there? It has a heavy grave.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Oh I suppose Christ played on his tuncle? Well, don
what'll I play?
Speaker 4 (08:19):
Want the thing at all?
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Joy? All right, tell you what I'll do.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Don, I'll play if I had a million dollars from
the picture I was in.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
Now listen to this, dad, I'll about a little introduction. Okay, come,
ice and slow and saw.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Surprise.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
There ought to be a fact.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
On that.
Speaker 6 (09:08):
Pedigree if.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
Had a million dollars.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
This broken down genius comes to you through the courtesy
of Jello.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
With that you expert trap fruit flavor.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
It tastes twice as.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Good as ever before.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
Fine time for advertising.
Speaker 9 (09:53):
Party boy, Happy, I guess, Thank.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
God, I go I I've already put that over with
a bang. Oh dad, old dad, how did you like it?
Speaker 5 (10:20):
He left after the first aid.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
By He must have been tired.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
And our ladies and gentlemen, Frank Hawker are soulful soloists
will sing someday. I'll find you from private lives. Say Frank,
how did you like my violin solo?
Speaker 4 (10:36):
I can get more music out of a new pair
of shoes.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Try and get credit from these guys. Well, Frank, the
(11:01):
Nightfall are cities of Russian art plays.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
We glad we shollow, you shoved.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
And tonight we are getting you an original drama, an
original drama entitled Russia through a Keyhole or the Private
Life of the Vulgar Boatmans your title us tight Private
Life of the Vulgar Boatmans or if you're fighting of
a pure nighting of.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
A better title user.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
This will offering will go on immediate with the next summer,
which is a needle.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
In a hate stack from the motion picture The Gay Divorces.
Speaker 5 (11:35):
He divorced me, Jack came back to some post marriage.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Your mad ai. Don you imagine that? Play Donan his mustache.
There was a needle in a hate back played by.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Don Better and his dignitarians. And now for our drama,
Rush You through a Keyhole by Ivan Winston. I will
play the part of Boris Benovich and Mary Levyson will
play the part of Olga my Sweethearts.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
The first scene takes place from the home of Boris.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Benovitch on Tobacco Road in Kishinev, which is not unlike
Grenovich Villovich.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
All right, boys, certain music.
Speaker 8 (12:28):
John chet Chon, Chutch, I will phone Cherchon.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
What is it, Carlos?
Speaker 1 (12:52):
There's the Telegramovich for eurvish?
Speaker 4 (12:55):
Is it collectivich?
Speaker 3 (12:58):
No PASTI.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Get it to me from It's from my sweetheart, Ulga
Petrov here boris.
Speaker 4 (13:06):
You must come to Odessa at once. Stop of it.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
The Cozacks have raided our house and taken away my
sister Natasha. Merry Christmas, come at once, Olga.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Mmm.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
So those Cossacks have taken away Natasha. Ah, this is terrible, terrible,
not to play folks, the situations. This is awful. Oh
talof bring me a glass of what chair? What kind
of votch? I must go away, Karloff, I must go away.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Pack my bag? What shall I put in it? Two
shirts and a herring?
Speaker 1 (13:39):
And hurry, I must catch the first boat up the
Hudson for the vulgar Tarloff, send for the vulgar boatmans.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
I send in for him on it? How did you
know I wanted him? I remember this from the high school.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
Oh thank you. The scene now changes to the Vulgar river.
Quick boys, it's the change, apph.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
She should see this river.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
It's in a pail right here in the studio.
Speaker 7 (14:09):
A man, yeah, shup, yah ah.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
Ah, here comes the bookman.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Now, hey, Vulgar, I must get to her death at once,
snap it up, of it? Okay, jump him down, goodbye,
caw of good bye.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
Let's go, Vulgar.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
There's no time to lose Rushdania Mania.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
You said it?
Speaker 4 (14:41):
Sorry, oh Josh, I'm.
Speaker 5 (14:43):
Just talking to think with the byepator for Christmas.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Mary, get out of here. Will you make it quick? Vulgar?
Speaker 7 (14:50):
Ah ah you yeah, shup.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Tell me, tell me, Vulgar, how long will it take
to get to Odessa?
Speaker 4 (15:02):
A few minutes? Go back to your song?
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Ah ah, Hey, I'm sick of that song already.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Can't you see something else?
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Like cocktails for two cocktail falt Please make it tweet, Vulgar,
I must go to my sweetheart Olga.
Speaker 7 (15:28):
Olga you mean Olga Petra?
Speaker 4 (15:31):
Yes? Do you know Oulgar? A?
Speaker 3 (15:34):
Yeah, I see, I see?
Speaker 6 (15:39):
How well do you know Olga I?
Speaker 1 (15:50):
The theme now changes to the home of Olga Petrov.
I'm delmesy boulevard in Odessa. Half a bight o'clock, oive
o a knight, such a miserable night, and put him
(16:10):
a pasha in the hands of the kasa.
Speaker 5 (16:15):
Oive o a knight.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
Blither it's me, that is?
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Who can I come in?
Speaker 5 (16:26):
I wouldn't leave a dog out on a knife like this?
Speaker 4 (16:29):
Woof, woof, Come in, Hello, old my dolly. I got
your message and came as queak as I could.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
Oh, boys, I'm so glad you're here. You look tired
and cold. Take off your boost and put your feet
by the fire.
Speaker 4 (16:45):
I'm hungry too, old guys, got anything to heat?
Speaker 5 (16:48):
No, but keep your feet but the fire and we'll
have hot dogs.
Speaker 4 (16:51):
Oo Oh, can't you fix me up? I'll cave you
out of sandwich.
Speaker 5 (16:55):
Where do you see? Tadya?
Speaker 4 (16:57):
You got something in your hands?
Speaker 5 (16:58):
It freckles?
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (17:02):
Say, have you'd like a nice pizza? Herring?
Speaker 7 (17:04):
That ain't?
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Yes? White meat?
Speaker 5 (17:14):
Say boris yellow? Say boris yellow?
Speaker 4 (17:19):
Say Boris? How about it?
Speaker 5 (17:21):
Ditch of yellow?
Speaker 4 (17:22):
Do they have je? Do they have yellow? And Russia?
Speaker 5 (17:25):
If they don't, it their own fault.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
Thanks Barry Wilson. Get off the stage. All right, boys,
All right, Boris, go down and be comfortable.
Speaker 5 (17:34):
I will make some.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
Tea for you.
Speaker 5 (17:37):
I hate succie that evening son you go down street?
Speaker 4 (17:41):
Is that lowski? Let's tell me Olga what happened to Natasha?
Speaker 5 (17:47):
Be careful, boris not for lion? That a cross us everywhere?
Speaker 3 (17:51):
They came here early this morning.
Speaker 5 (17:52):
It's just Natasha.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Way, you know which one it was?
Speaker 5 (17:55):
Yes, Nikolai parser that low life. Yes, she came here.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
I wanted either, so I gave him Natasha.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
Wasn't I smart?
Speaker 4 (18:06):
You gave him Natasha?
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Old guy?
Speaker 4 (18:07):
I'm ashamed of you.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Ashamed of you, ashamed of you?
Speaker 4 (18:10):
How can you act like that? I can ask the good,
I can ask a good as you can. I don't
mean that.
Speaker 5 (18:19):
Someone is coming by, slave, I wonder who can be?
Speaker 4 (18:21):
Look to the window quick, that's coming back. That's all
I want to know. Don't worry, Yoga, open the door
and let them in.
Speaker 5 (18:29):
What will you do?
Speaker 1 (18:30):
I will heighten the closet and protect you. Hey, no
wind here, I'm just going in the closet.
Speaker 5 (18:42):
Come in.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
Why are you scarface talker?
Speaker 4 (18:50):
My ten?
Speaker 5 (18:51):
And who is your friend?
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Jello face Wilson? Well, at least that'll please a sponsor.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Why do you want now, you brute? You came here
this morning.
Speaker 5 (19:03):
It took away my sister Natasha.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
Isnt that a NAUGHTI not for the two of us.
I want to send for jelloface.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Come on, baby, g you're coming with us?
Speaker 5 (19:12):
No, no, no, ses sirees spski.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Who punches a hair on Ougus's head?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Die?
Speaker 4 (19:20):
He's like our dog who touches a wa hair.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
I don't get it.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
My hair, my hair? What's on your head?
Speaker 3 (19:26):
It's on my chin.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Now we're in Russia.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
Come on, Auga, you are going with Pus.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
He is not going with jewels. Oh yes she is.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Come on Auga, over my dead body.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
They can't take a joke, Olga. Oh yeah, they got me?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
No it was me?
Speaker 5 (19:55):
Or give me the credit.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
So it's a june my own sweet heart who shocks me?
Speaker 5 (20:00):
Goodbye? Cut?
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Come on boys.
Speaker 9 (20:04):
First, put down here Maniana.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
They all deserted me, left me here alone to die.
Natasha gone all you're gone here, I am all alone?
Who's there?
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Ah?
Speaker 4 (20:28):
Vulgar? Vulgar? What are you doing here? Oh vulgar? I'm
making up my Christmas list.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Let's try sure that you're there.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
It's too late. Now take me back to Kishener and
if I die before I get there, I want you
to deliver.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Our message to one of the cousins, which one the
one with a spat what what's the message?
Speaker 4 (20:52):
Get a pencil and paper quick, I'm going fast.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
All right, all right, what's the message? Please?
Speaker 4 (20:59):
Please play gon.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
That was the last number of the tenth program in
a new Jello series. You see I didn't die after all.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
Folks. You're glad. Oh I almost forgot. Tonight, I want
to welcome Minneapolis and Saint Paul's to our list of stations.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
They are hearing it for the first time on this
series tonight, Jelo Mini Jello, Paul Wilson.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
They Mary f Where did those corsoks.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
Take you to to the autumn. It's a good thing
I had my own nickels to night, folks,
All the Jello program, sorrying Jack Benny with John Bester
and his Orchestra.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
The orchestra opens the program with take it easy now,
(01:15):
ladies and gentlemen, I present to you that wizard of
mirth and wit, that gentleman of gentlemen. I see a
man who is a credit to his community, loves.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
And honored by all.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Mister Jack Sennish.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
I get you.
Speaker 4 (01:34):
I get it, I get it.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Wilson's not fooling equos. Christmas is nine days off.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
He knows what he's doing.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yes, sir, this is the time of year when every
rat turns into a lamb until.
Speaker 4 (01:46):
After the holidays.
Speaker 3 (01:49):
Yeah, well it doesn't change me.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
No, you're still a rat. Well, Jack, to you my spirits,
he's me from punching you in the nose.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Yes, Don, we must be happy, although I didn't like that.
Speaker 5 (02:00):
That's cracked.
Speaker 3 (02:01):
You're right, Jack.
Speaker 4 (02:02):
We should forgive our enemies to let joy the unrefined.
Right now, Don, there's no one in the world that
I hate.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
I feel so good. I'm afraid I'm overdoing it. How
do you feel, Don? My rumism is bumming you terribly? Well,
just ignore it until after the holidays. I've got falling arches.
Speaker 4 (02:20):
But I'm not gonna pick him up until after Christmas,
I'll say, Jack, Tomir, I'm making out my Christmas list.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Now, what do you think all to get for Frank?
Speaker 4 (02:28):
Parker?
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Parker?
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Let's see, see there's a hard guy to fix anything
for all?
Speaker 4 (02:35):
About a shirt? No, he's got one. Hey, I'll tell
you what?
Speaker 3 (02:41):
How about us?
Speaker 4 (02:42):
Food of pajamas? No, I'm not Parker. He wears a
nice job.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Oh he does, well, then get him a yard of
blue riftons.
Speaker 4 (02:53):
What are you going to do, Parker?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Jack, I've got a necktie for him. Don This is
a nice looking tie.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Sure, the one you gave me Christmas? Remember?
Speaker 6 (03:01):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (03:01):
Yes, well here I am.
Speaker 5 (03:04):
As a fiddle, but thin as a flute.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Hey Parker, Parker, how did.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
You get here so early?
Speaker 6 (03:12):
Jake sent me?
Speaker 4 (03:13):
Oh?
Speaker 7 (03:15):
Hey, Jack, I'm making out a Christmas list.
Speaker 4 (03:17):
Now. Want you think I ought to get John Wilson
for Christmas? I don't know, Frank. You know he and
I have been pretty good pals. Well, I don't know
how much? How much do you want to spend? Oh
about a half a dollar? We get to send your
Pala telegram?
Speaker 5 (03:31):
You know, well, thanks, Jack, Say what size shirt.
Speaker 4 (03:33):
Is best to wear? Best? I don't know. I think
he wears a twelve and a half. Did you buy
it yet?
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Yes?
Speaker 7 (03:41):
But I got sy seventeen.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Well you've got to allow for shrinking, you know, Yeah,
but gee, do you think it's gonna shrink that much? Say?
The shirt you buy will probably evaporate? Now?
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Oh you're here too? Uh? Mary?
Speaker 4 (03:56):
What's killing you? Oh?
Speaker 5 (03:57):
Well, human everything?
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Listen, Jack water Parens.
Speaker 5 (04:03):
I just wear a black suit.
Speaker 4 (04:04):
But he doesn't marry. He wears a red suit. I
mean after he gets down the chimney. Oh, I see,
what's the answer.
Speaker 5 (04:11):
It's a chimney a joke.
Speaker 8 (04:14):
Mary?
Speaker 4 (04:14):
Where do you get those jokes every week ending? Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:18):
There, don't bother me for a while. Jack, I've got
to make out my Christmas list?
Speaker 4 (04:22):
Oh yeah, who's on your list? Mary? Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:24):
The boys in this program? This and Jack? I want
to get a shirt to Wilson. What side sky shirt
you wear?
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Well?
Speaker 4 (04:31):
I wear a fifteen. What's I gotta do with Wilson?
Speaker 5 (04:33):
Well, you're always wearing a shirt.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
Oh that's right, get him a fifteen? Then? What are
you going to get your father married? Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:40):
I've got him a cigar lighter. But I've got to
change it.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Why Mary, that's a beautiful cigar lighter. Why do you
have to change it?
Speaker 8 (04:47):
I just remember he smokes cigarettes.
Speaker 4 (04:49):
Oh, yes, it would be hard to light a cigarette
from a cigar lighter. Yes.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
By the way, Mary, what happened to that gold ring
I gave you last Christmas? I never see you wear it?
Speaker 6 (04:58):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (04:58):
I was to play to tell you that's all lost it.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
Oh that's fine, and you said you take such good
care of it.
Speaker 3 (05:04):
I did, well?
Speaker 4 (05:05):
Then how did you lose it?
Speaker 5 (05:06):
The finance company took us.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
The last time I'll buy anything from that company.
Speaker 8 (05:11):
You're telling them?
Speaker 5 (05:13):
Oh, Russian? Where do you think I ought to get
my mother? She's sixty four years old and doesn't like fitness.
Speaker 4 (05:23):
Here it comes, folks.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Get her some jello at all.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
And she'll find it plice as rich as last Christmas.
Speaker 5 (05:31):
He got sick right into my budget.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Well, now that we got our advertising in, Don Besser
will play the medley from the Music Box Review.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Are you ready?
Speaker 4 (05:39):
Don? Yes, Jack, Let's just come here a minute, will you?
What is it? I was Christmas shopping all day and
I don't know what to get for five boxers. Can
you suggest something, Well, how about a cigarette case or
a razor. That's it. I'll get him a nice safety rasor.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
No, Don getting one of those straight barbers razors.
Speaker 4 (05:59):
But he's like I was a cut himself.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
That's the idea he played, Don, So.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Not as long as they keep wearing those fats, you
know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (06:11):
A man who wears fats is an or a hero.
Speaker 5 (06:13):
Then again, they have holes in the top.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Well, anyway, Don, I wouldn't hurt your boys feeling for
the world.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
You know, I used to be a musician myself.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Well, I had my own orchestra at the Barrison Theater
in Walkegan, Illinois.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
You did, eh, yes, sir? How big was your orchestra?
Speaker 2 (06:28):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
I had a great fun don Let's see, there was me,
of course, I was the leader and first.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
Fiddle, I see.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
And we had a fellow named high Fet played second fiddle,
I think is I think his name was Yashka, I
don't know. Then I had a Polish fellow at the piano.
He had a funny.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
Name like pat Ruski something. The Rudy Valley was my
saxophone players.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Abe Lyman played drums, and then we had a blues
singer Lily Pond.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
Christ what happened to all those they're doing that alone?
Speaker 1 (07:02):
Well that was somehow happened to all those people. All
they're doing that along the country. They can't seem to
get anything steady?
Speaker 5 (07:10):
Do you still like to play the violin jacket?
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Don wants a violin player, always a violin player.
Speaker 4 (07:15):
You know, every time I hear.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
Your boys tune up their fiddles, I feel like an
old fire horse when he hears the bell playing. You
look like one too, Mary, whoever heard of a horse
playing a fiddle?
Speaker 4 (07:28):
What kind of stuff do you? Ruben Stein? You play?
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Jack? Oh?
Speaker 4 (07:31):
Anything? You know ruben Stein's Stormy Weather or Mandelssohn's Hold
that Tiger? Say? Do you know what I'd like to
do tonight? John?
Speaker 1 (07:40):
You see, my dad came out to visit me from
Waukee in and he's up here in the studio watching
the program. And I think there'd be kind of knights
if I played the violin solo right now. He get
a big kick out of it. Sure, Jack, go out
of here and.
Speaker 4 (07:50):
Have one of your boys loan me his fiddle with
you done during no spike, lo mister Benny your fiddle.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Spike, Spike, alright, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
See what.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
I told you?
Speaker 3 (08:09):
This is a pretty good sittle, isn't it?
Speaker 4 (08:11):
Is there? It has a heavy grave.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Oh I suppose Christ played on his tuncle? Well, don
what'll I play?
Speaker 4 (08:19):
Want the thing at all?
Speaker 3 (08:20):
Joy? All right, tell you what I'll do.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Don, I'll play if I had a million dollars from
the picture I was in.
Speaker 4 (08:25):
Now listen to this, dad, I'll about a little introduction. Okay, come,
ice and slow and saw.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Surprise.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
There ought to be a fact.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
On that.
Speaker 6 (09:08):
Pedigree if.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
Had a million dollars.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
This broken down genius comes to you through the courtesy
of Jello.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
With that you expert trap fruit flavor.
Speaker 4 (09:44):
It tastes twice as.
Speaker 3 (09:45):
Good as ever before.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
Fine time for advertising.
Speaker 9 (09:53):
Party boy, Happy, I guess, Thank.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
God, I go I I've already put that over with
a bang. Oh dad, old dad, how did you like it?
Speaker 5 (10:20):
He left after the first aid.
Speaker 4 (10:21):
By He must have been tired.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
And our ladies and gentlemen, Frank Hawker are soulful soloists
will sing someday. I'll find you from private lives. Say Frank,
how did you like my violin solo?
Speaker 4 (10:36):
I can get more music out of a new pair
of shoes.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Try and get credit from these guys. Well, Frank, the
(11:01):
Nightfall are cities of Russian art plays.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
We glad we shollow, you shoved.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
And tonight we are getting you an original drama, an
original drama entitled Russia through a Keyhole or the Private
Life of the Vulgar Boatmans your title us tight Private
Life of the Vulgar Boatmans or if you're fighting of
a pure nighting of.
Speaker 4 (11:26):
A better title user.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
This will offering will go on immediate with the next summer,
which is a needle.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
In a hate stack from the motion picture The Gay Divorces.
Speaker 5 (11:35):
He divorced me, Jack came back to some post marriage.
Speaker 4 (11:43):
Your mad ai. Don you imagine that? Play Donan his mustache.
There was a needle in a hate back played by.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Don Better and his dignitarians. And now for our drama,
Rush You through a Keyhole by Ivan Winston. I will
play the part of Boris Benovich and Mary Levyson will
play the part of Olga my Sweethearts.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
The first scene takes place from the home of Boris.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
Benovitch on Tobacco Road in Kishinev, which is not unlike
Grenovich Villovich.
Speaker 4 (12:26):
All right, boys, certain music.
Speaker 8 (12:28):
John chet Chon, Chutch, I will phone Cherchon.
Speaker 4 (12:51):
What is it, Carlos?
Speaker 1 (12:52):
There's the Telegramovich for eurvish?
Speaker 4 (12:55):
Is it collectivich?
Speaker 3 (12:58):
No PASTI.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Get it to me from It's from my sweetheart, Ulga
Petrov here boris.
Speaker 4 (13:06):
You must come to Odessa at once. Stop of it.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
The Cozacks have raided our house and taken away my
sister Natasha. Merry Christmas, come at once, Olga.
Speaker 4 (13:18):
Mmm.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
So those Cossacks have taken away Natasha. Ah, this is terrible, terrible,
not to play folks, the situations. This is awful. Oh
talof bring me a glass of what chair? What kind
of votch? I must go away, Karloff, I must go away.
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Pack my bag? What shall I put in it? Two
shirts and a herring?
Speaker 1 (13:39):
And hurry, I must catch the first boat up the
Hudson for the vulgar Tarloff, send for the vulgar boatmans.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
I send in for him on it? How did you
know I wanted him? I remember this from the high school.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
Oh thank you. The scene now changes to the Vulgar river.
Quick boys, it's the change, apph.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
She should see this river.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
It's in a pail right here in the studio.
Speaker 7 (14:09):
A man, yeah, shup, yah ah.
Speaker 4 (14:22):
Ah, here comes the bookman.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Now, hey, Vulgar, I must get to her death at once,
snap it up, of it? Okay, jump him down, goodbye,
caw of good bye.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
Let's go, Vulgar.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
There's no time to lose Rushdania Mania.
Speaker 3 (14:39):
You said it?
Speaker 4 (14:41):
Sorry, oh Josh, I'm.
Speaker 5 (14:43):
Just talking to think with the byepator for Christmas.
Speaker 4 (14:45):
Mary, get out of here. Will you make it quick? Vulgar?
Speaker 7 (14:50):
Ah ah you yeah, shup.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Tell me, tell me, Vulgar, how long will it take
to get to Odessa?
Speaker 4 (15:02):
A few minutes? Go back to your song?
Speaker 1 (15:07):
Ah ah, Hey, I'm sick of that song already.
Speaker 4 (15:14):
Can't you see something else?
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Like cocktails for two cocktail falt Please make it tweet, Vulgar,
I must go to my sweetheart Olga.
Speaker 7 (15:28):
Olga you mean Olga Petra?
Speaker 4 (15:31):
Yes? Do you know Oulgar? A?
Speaker 3 (15:34):
Yeah, I see, I see?
Speaker 6 (15:39):
How well do you know Olga I?
Speaker 1 (15:50):
The theme now changes to the home of Olga Petrov.
I'm delmesy boulevard in Odessa. Half a bight o'clock, oive
o a knight, such a miserable night, and put him
(16:10):
a pasha in the hands of the kasa.
Speaker 5 (16:15):
Oive o a knight.
Speaker 4 (16:18):
Blither it's me, that is?
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Who can I come in?
Speaker 5 (16:26):
I wouldn't leave a dog out on a knife like this?
Speaker 4 (16:29):
Woof, woof, Come in, Hello, old my dolly. I got
your message and came as queak as I could.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
Oh, boys, I'm so glad you're here. You look tired
and cold. Take off your boost and put your feet
by the fire.
Speaker 4 (16:45):
I'm hungry too, old guys, got anything to heat?
Speaker 5 (16:48):
No, but keep your feet but the fire and we'll
have hot dogs.
Speaker 4 (16:51):
Oo Oh, can't you fix me up? I'll cave you
out of sandwich.
Speaker 5 (16:55):
Where do you see? Tadya?
Speaker 4 (16:57):
You got something in your hands?
Speaker 5 (16:58):
It freckles?
Speaker 4 (16:59):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (17:02):
Say, have you'd like a nice pizza? Herring?
Speaker 7 (17:04):
That ain't?
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Yes? White meat?
Speaker 5 (17:14):
Say boris yellow? Say boris yellow?
Speaker 4 (17:19):
Say Boris? How about it?
Speaker 5 (17:21):
Ditch of yellow?
Speaker 4 (17:22):
Do they have je? Do they have yellow? And Russia?
Speaker 5 (17:25):
If they don't, it their own fault.
Speaker 4 (17:27):
Thanks Barry Wilson. Get off the stage. All right, boys,
All right, Boris, go down and be comfortable.
Speaker 5 (17:34):
I will make some.
Speaker 4 (17:35):
Tea for you.
Speaker 5 (17:37):
I hate succie that evening son you go down street?
Speaker 4 (17:41):
Is that lowski? Let's tell me Olga what happened to Natasha?
Speaker 5 (17:47):
Be careful, boris not for lion? That a cross us everywhere?
Speaker 3 (17:51):
They came here early this morning.
Speaker 5 (17:52):
It's just Natasha.
Speaker 4 (17:53):
Way, you know which one it was?
Speaker 5 (17:55):
Yes, Nikolai parser that low life. Yes, she came here.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
I wanted either, so I gave him Natasha.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
Wasn't I smart?
Speaker 4 (18:06):
You gave him Natasha?
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Old guy?
Speaker 4 (18:07):
I'm ashamed of you.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Ashamed of you, ashamed of you?
Speaker 4 (18:10):
How can you act like that? I can ask the good,
I can ask a good as you can. I don't
mean that.
Speaker 5 (18:19):
Someone is coming by, slave, I wonder who can be?
Speaker 4 (18:21):
Look to the window quick, that's coming back. That's all
I want to know. Don't worry, Yoga, open the door
and let them in.
Speaker 5 (18:29):
What will you do?
Speaker 1 (18:30):
I will heighten the closet and protect you. Hey, no
wind here, I'm just going in the closet.
Speaker 5 (18:42):
Come in.
Speaker 3 (18:46):
Why are you scarface talker?
Speaker 4 (18:50):
My ten?
Speaker 5 (18:51):
And who is your friend?
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Jello face Wilson? Well, at least that'll please a sponsor.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Why do you want now, you brute? You came here
this morning.
Speaker 5 (19:03):
It took away my sister Natasha.
Speaker 4 (19:05):
Isnt that a NAUGHTI not for the two of us.
I want to send for jelloface.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Come on, baby, g you're coming with us?
Speaker 5 (19:12):
No, no, no, ses sirees spski.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Who punches a hair on Ougus's head?
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Die?
Speaker 4 (19:20):
He's like our dog who touches a wa hair.
Speaker 3 (19:23):
I don't get it.
Speaker 4 (19:24):
My hair, my hair? What's on your head?
Speaker 3 (19:26):
It's on my chin.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
Now we're in Russia.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
Come on, Auga, you are going with Pus.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
He is not going with jewels. Oh yes she is.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
Come on Auga, over my dead body.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
They can't take a joke, Olga. Oh yeah, they got me?
Speaker 1 (19:54):
No it was me?
Speaker 5 (19:55):
Or give me the credit.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
So it's a june my own sweet heart who shocks me?
Speaker 5 (20:00):
Goodbye? Cut?
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Come on boys.
Speaker 9 (20:04):
First, put down here Maniana.
Speaker 4 (20:08):
They all deserted me, left me here alone to die.
Natasha gone all you're gone here, I am all alone?
Who's there?
Speaker 3 (20:24):
Ah?
Speaker 4 (20:28):
Vulgar? Vulgar? What are you doing here? Oh vulgar? I'm
making up my Christmas list.
Speaker 3 (20:37):
Let's try sure that you're there.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
It's too late. Now take me back to Kishener and
if I die before I get there, I want you
to deliver.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Our message to one of the cousins, which one the
one with a spat what what's the message?
Speaker 4 (20:52):
Get a pencil and paper quick, I'm going fast.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
All right, all right, what's the message? Please?
Speaker 4 (20:59):
Please play gon.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
That was the last number of the tenth program in
a new Jello series. You see I didn't die after all.
Speaker 4 (21:26):
Folks. You're glad. Oh I almost forgot. Tonight, I want
to welcome Minneapolis and Saint Paul's to our list of stations.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
They are hearing it for the first time on this
series tonight, Jelo Mini Jello, Paul Wilson.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
They Mary f Where did those corsoks.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
Take you to to the autumn. It's a good thing
I had my own nickels to night, folks,
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