July 20, 2025 • 25 mins
A legendary variety show blending witty monologues, comic sketches, and musical interludes, all anchored by the impeccable timing of its beloved host. It’s a masterclass in comedic timing.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
The Jello Program starring Jack Fenny with Mary Livingston, sim Harris,
Kenny Baker, and Yours Truly Don Wilson. The Orchestra opens
the program with this cast, The Love Dale and I
(00:31):
some friends of mine. We're arguing as to whether the
first impressions or last impressions are the more important. When
I say last impression at least when it comes to
meal time. Well, I think it's a dessert. You're most
likely to remember if that dessert is jealal Believe me,
the memory.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Is a mighty pleasant one.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
But Jello is so temptingly good to look at him,
so deliciously good to eat. Those six glowing colors are
cheerful and gay, and those six delicious flavors are filled
with extra It's true goodness, strawberry rings, lemon, and lime.
Every susen't flatting as the real Everybody enjoys jeal. That's
why it's America's favorite gelatin.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
So the big d in the box fell free.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
That was the Canty Love slayd by the Archipra. Now,
ladies and gentlemen, we bring you a man who, after
lying flat on his back for three days with a
fad cold, threw off the covers and Dundae gone and was.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
My words exactly.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
So now we bring you that heroic personality that rocket thespians.
That's tam Old Trooper Jack Benny.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Thank you, Gelo. Yeah, there's a Jack Benny that red
and nose spoogy with a sniff snick and Don, yes,
as you say, I deserve a lot of credit for
coming down here tonight. No matter how anaker feels, his
first duty is to his pack. And I'm mighty thought
of it. Why don I've always been like that. I
(02:31):
remember one time when I was playing Border the lencior Illinois,
and even though I had hay fever and I was
following the Golden Rod trio, I went out and did
that old just the thing. Well, it was a real
test without getting down. For the last three days, I've
been a pretty sick boy. And if I hadn't been
(02:51):
for my physician, doctor Jerome SMIng, I doubt that i'd
be here today. Doctor schmink, what Jack I told him.
But he's not position. He's a charopeters a. Yes, oh well,
Lani blames it blains. Whah well a minute he came
into my room. He said, open your mouth, say ah
(03:12):
and take off your shoes. Now I understand, well I
was rejected. He takes good care of your cold. Well down.
My cold isn't completely cured, but my wonderful anyway, I
should have known he was a foot doctor. When he
went to take my pulse. He had his watch in
one hand and my ankle in the other. Well, I
guess we all made mistake. Hello, he roll houts the
(03:34):
brave little souls just tonight. Well, I wouldn't joke about it,
fil My illness was much more serious than you think
it was. Huh. Yes, my doctor told me that if
my cold was one germ worse, i'd have found out
if angels have dirty faces. You mean you to found
out the devil with the sissy? Listen, Phil, if you
(03:58):
were as sick as I was, you wouldn't be fled
me about it tonight, Believe me. Well, I know you
were sick. I came to visitors, and I'm sure you did.
You know I had a cold for you figured i'd
have a bottle of whiskey a rock, that's why. Yeah,
that was some stuff you had to Wow, what was
the matter with I took one drink in my inlays
(04:20):
that the Lambeth walk when I'm gonna serve your right
and this a enzy, Phil, I want to thank you
very much for the lovely gift you sent me. That
was sweet. Yeah, I wasn't. What was it, Jack have
as hell?
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Phil?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
I was sick as a dog and he sent me
a can of Kennel ration kettle ration. Yeah. I didn't
mind that so much, but Rochester made me an omelet
out of its Hello Kenny, Hello Jack as you called Benny.
Not much Kenny, but as weak as I was today,
I jumped out of bed, grabbed a taxicab and rushed
down here to the studio. Now why did I do it?
(04:53):
I didn't know it? Is it because you're a hamd? No?
And don't be so fresh? And another thing, Kenny Alicia
were gonna come to see me while I was sick? Yeah,
you should have gone there just for laughs? What last, now, Phil?
When I went up to see Jackie was wearing a nightgown.
A nightgown, geez, well, certainly I was wearing a nightgown.
(05:14):
Increase somewher around my neck where my cold is and
keeps me warm. There's nothing wrong with that. You should
have seen the fellows. He looks like old mother huffers.
One walk crack out of you and I hold it
a cuff your option. I was talking to Kenny, so
(05:35):
you keep out of it. Oh, I bet you were
a riot in your nightgown. Kenny, if you'll come out
of your hysterics for him. And I'd like to ask
you who won that Thanksgiving turkey you were selling tickets
on last week? Oh vast yeah. Oh tell her by
the name of Baker. Can't tell Baker? Oh why see
(05:57):
just a racket. Huh. It's told me a ticket and
get me out of fifty cents. You know what that means? Yes,
Barnum was right. Tomorrow when you get your check, think
of Barnum, you know, Kenny. I'm really surprised you, of
all people. Oh hello maryho Jack, how do you feel? Mary?
You can't possibly realize what an effort it was for
(06:18):
me to come to work today. I was in a
very critical condition. Well it's your own fault. Jack here.
You were sick of this for three days and you
wouldn't even hire a nurse. Wait a minute, Mary, I
had a nurse and you know it. Fine, nurse. All
you did was painted red cross on Rochester's coast. Well, Mary,
I would have had a regular nurse, but I just
(06:39):
couldn't find the right one. Well a car, you couldn't.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Jack wanted a Cuban girl, so could get three rumba lessons.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Oh, Mary, don't try to get laughs out of my illness. Yeah.
I hardly swept a wink all week.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Well how could you with all those silver dollars in
your mattress?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
And you've an all kid at my sickness? But I
was looking for me. That Rochester knows something about medicine.
He was the only one who thought of putting a
mustard plaster on my chest? Is it still as yeah?
Say Jax. He saves your chest before he put the
plaster on. No he didn't lie. Oh, brother, I hope
I'm there for the unveiling. Hey, that's right, dot that Rochester.
(07:24):
How am I going to get this mustard plaster off? Well,
I'll help you, Jack, It's only take a minute. No, no, no, oh,
I've done this a lot of times. Oh, un flung
your shirt. Well, well okay, I heard a little Jack. Oh,
go ahead down, I can take it. You're dealing with
a he man, he man. Hey, Mary, you want to
hear something flast. When I went over to see Jackie
was wearing a night down. I know he bought it
(07:45):
to me. Now, marry you promise you wouldn't say a
word about it? No kidding, Mary? Was that really your
night down? Now? Listen, he's the letters in mail on it?
Mary Livingston? Well, i'll be door. Jack told me that
stood for man Lingerie. Oh be quiet after all? Go ahead,
(08:05):
don okay, steady, Jack, Yeah, steady? Oh gee take it
any don see this is more fun than unty park.
Wait a minute, don I'm better not I'm monkey with us. Hey, Jack,
let me try it. I can do it so you
won't even see. Oh no, you don't fail. Come on,
Jack's not gonna hurt a fi. Come here all right, Phil?
(08:28):
But if I feel what there you are didn't hurt
of why you idios? You might have killed me? Okay?
Oh look at me. There isn't a hair on my chest?
Tax is lady is don Taylor your hair fall? I
have to be redecorated. Taker. And now, ladies and gentlemen,
(08:54):
ooh my chess still furt, don you Phil? And now,
ladies and gentlemen, before introducing our play, I would like
to announce that next Sunday night, we are going to
do our broadcast from Radio City, New York, and the
whole gang of us are going to be there, arn't we, Fellas,
I you no, I'll be there. He is going to
(09:18):
be nice to see New York again.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Jack, If you've got such a bad coll what are
you going to New York for? I understand for having
pretty fast snowstorms back.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
There makes no difference down. I've got to be there
next week. But what's all the Russia about? What's so important?
And just tail it?
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Nathan.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
That's not the only reason I'm going. I've got an
appointment for a big New York producer. You know, Fellas.
You know the Shakespeare in New York already, and this
producer he wants me to appear in Romeo and Juliet.
Romeo and Juliet. Yes, you couldn't be a flower pot
(09:57):
on the balcony. So Phil, what do you do on Broadway?
And I'm quite positive I'm going to be Romeo my nightgown?
You could think Juliet? All right, you wait next week
you'll see And now, boy in New York say, I
haven't been there in two years? Two years Jillings Branks
had pops and now Hope. I don't know anything about pops,
(10:21):
but I do know that men, women and.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Children aren't crazy about It's tempting, economical and easy to make.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
So look for the big red letters on the box. Don.
That's positively amazing. When you started out, I didn't even
suspect that you were going to talk jello. Well, no,
and now hope. We must go on with our play.
This being the climax of the football season. Tonight we
will bring you our annual drama of the gridiron and
(10:48):
titled Whole or Now once Again. Once Again, I will
play the part of flash Benny, the famous football coach.
Kenny Baker will be right end, Phil Harris left end,
(11:09):
and Don Wilson will be the backfield.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Hold on, hold on, Jack. When the whistle blows, the
backfield have to spread.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Out what you've been doing all right up to now?
Speaker 3 (11:22):
No, let me see, I say, yeah, Am I going
to be in the football play?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Yes? Mary, you're going to be a beautiful co ed
watching the game way up in the grandstand. Oh No,
I want to be down on the sield where the
dialogue is. Well, I don't know, Mary. We let you
in the game last year, and every time the players
went and the huddle, they came out with lipstake on.
Now you can't play.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Yeah, but you got a fat chance in winning the
game without portch Livingston.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Oh all right, if you're gonna play, take off that
silly hat Lett. The cheering section give you the Bronx salute.
You ought to see this one post. It looks like
a plate of force. He even got two potatoes in it.
(12:14):
And now why we all get into our uniforms. Phil
Harris and his uneducated collegians will play. Wait a minute,
I'll take him. Hello almsapellites, are your nurse talking? Oh hello, Rochester?
What do you want? Well caught and see how you're feeling? Well?
(12:37):
I was very thoughtful, Rochester. I'm feeling fine. You are?
What are you mind minding them?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Nothing seeing in a boat? Why were you surprised when
I told you mine? Well? Well, what you know that
cart man has nothing given you all week? You ask
what about it? You ain't never ho have dam in
your stomach? God, Heaven's Rochester, you give me that hair conic.
(13:11):
I told you a thousand times to read the label.
I've told you a thousand times. I can't read well
as you should get classes. I ain't gonnahead. I'll never
mind that. I'll see you tonight. So long, so long,
boll Hey, wait a minute, you know that mustard's flashing
me this morning? Light and off it off? Why didn't
you shave my chest first? Shave you? Yes, look, boss,
(13:33):
I don't mind being a butler, chauffriend and nurse, but
when I get a raised in my hand, it's for
defensive purposes. Owners. All right, I'll take this up with
you tonight. Goodbye. Oh wait a minute, boss, am I
(13:53):
going to New York with him? Yes? Rochester, you're going.
Oh he just comes your kiss the horse blow? All right?
Well that ex fight? Goodbye? How do you like that? Fell?
Isn't that all I've been drinking hair tonic all week? Well,
I won't urt. You're looking at my guitar player. He's
the picture of hell. Yeah. But if you ever take
(14:14):
that tool off from undroom locked out, we haven't place that.
We've got a long sketch to do. That was a
(16:23):
girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish played by a boyfriend of
anyone who's got a girlfriend, and our fire football player
hold that line. The scene is Flatwood College, located in
the fighting little town of Toboggan Slide, Indiana. The first
(16:46):
half has just ended in the annual game with meat
ball taps. The coach is giving a team a pet
hawk in the locker room curtains the US dolison man.
In this last half, we got to get in there
and fight. Tell me discouraged. Why did other team are
(17:07):
upon a spineless jelly fish? Why they're yellow? Yeah, but
poor black and boo oh, let's not get technicolored, dollison man.
We never won a game from me ball tech, but
today it's a cent. What do you mean a sense?
The score sixty five to nothing in their face. Well,
we're still young, marg we I would win this game,
(17:31):
you guys who put a little pep into it, especially
you Harris in the second quarter you had a marvelous
hand for a touchdown and top white in the middle
of the plate that comb your hair. What was the
ideas well, I want to look good in the noose
re you go, Oh you do a an Incidentally, I
hate so off the next time you get the ball
out with it, don't fuck on down. Well I got
(17:53):
rid of never mind and you, Wilson far I'm sorry
about that one fumble, coach, one fumble. I thought you
were playing drop the hanker and you. But but as
a coach, you're a great health to him. The last
(18:13):
play you were kind of lighted to seen yards for holding. Well,
he was handsome, handsome may. I wouldn't care if you
was car d. We're playing football, west Coach. I'm doing
the best I can. I'll say you are. We haven't
played a team this fall. If you haven't given you
a pull number two, well, it's a long winner. Fine
(18:35):
bunch of athletes. Hey, coach, Bunny wall Baker. You remember
when I was running past the forty yards linter, I
dropped the ball? Yeah, yeah, I picked it up and
buck it again. Yeah, I picked it up. Yeah, I'm
going to stuck it again. What a water ball? Wasn't
that anger bating? Certainly? Was he? Tony Baker? What's the
(19:02):
idea of playing football in a sailor too? I thought
of my rain. Oh, I'm not taking any chances in
the second half. I'm going in the game, my sell.
Okay man, let's get off on the feel and give
them on Wait a minute, come in all right, right,
for Jack Benny, say your book. Okay, maybe it's an
offer to play Notre Dame. Oh cash why in New York.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
It's from the Ashney Hotel on fourteenth Street, fourteenth.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Of the day.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
It can offer you excellent accommodations during your stay New
York rate six dollars a week back on every floor.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Just follow the Errol.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Well, I can give you a lovely room overlooking a
Tom pat comcast.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Above.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Rate includes a continental breakfast consisting of a New England
boiled dinner.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Oh I see a kid. That sounds the fact that's
six dollars a week and Bob. But it's pretty too
far from everything that's called. What about the football games?
Like time? Never man, let's get the next heel of fight?
What this thing? Why spy? Yeah, we all host the
(20:27):
toll of sixty five to nothing in the second half.
It's about them again. Meet Paul is already on the feeling.
Here comes like a Spenny and he's flat for Steve.
What's what is going to take off to meet? Fall in?
The crowd is on kidds and Eagles. The passteach hair
shut up and there's a whistle. They're lighting up. Why
(20:48):
Spenny is about to take off. Time your toes man.
He's running for the ball, and there's a cat doc
(21:12):
that I forgot to blow it up. Give me out
a ball, fellas, here's the watermelon cold. I don't want
to back. We haven't used the watermelon since we played Alabama.
He want to be that ball you've got. Oh no,
it's mine, and I want a kicker. I get bake
the baby. I hold you some of your toe baker,
you hold the ball for the king. Okay, there they
(21:34):
go both. A new ball is being held in plate
flight because thanks boy. Wilson is about to kick off,
and here comes the kick. No walk the kid. See
that ball is probably big me. He he comes down here.
(21:58):
Wilson is falling. Kick here of me, for he seems
thinker on the own fool of your mind. That's your
Paul Wilson. What's this? Get the fuel? When becomes all
they get way to see you. All right, fellas, we
got the ball. Here's our chance to pay off the
mortgage and get our dean back from the finance. Coming
(22:19):
let him kay mask as a fine spirits. Now listen, Wilson.
When the ball is snaps to me, I'll go with
the Harris, he'll pass it to you, and instead of
going to centers, you run around your own ends. What
are you laughing? As he said it ain't nation, will
be a long traveler. Never mind mask, we'll find this
(22:44):
place for a fuchdog. You get in there, Harris and
give those signals. I'm sorry, can't God forgot him, forgot
the sing those? But did I fine thing? What do
we do now that cain't fat, isn't dance? And all
that will do? I know I'll hall the singals myself.
Come on, man, this is a big hands. By lighting
(23:05):
up now, by spending is a corner, all right, man?
Signal one for the money, two for the show. I'll
take the ball and away we go. I mean, has
all the pass of the mount and looking balls and
then Benny, we come there, bunny set look at him?
Whoa oh my chest? Wow, look at it gold twenty yards,
(23:31):
twenty yards, forty yards a game for us.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
If you want your husband to take you to the
movies happen then in tomorrow night, here's the desert that
is guaranteed the moneyman of.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
The last number of the ninth program in the New
Yellow series and will be with you again next Sunday
night at the same time, broadcasting from Radio City, New York.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Hey, Jack, you better buy some glass, You better buy
some glosses.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
You know it's telling them New York. Well, I won't
meet them. I'll have Rochester carrying me piggyback. The Nighthol
The Jello Program starring Jack Fenny with Mary Livingston, sim Harris,
Kenny Baker, and Yours Truly Don Wilson. The Orchestra opens
the program with this cast, The Love Dale and I
(00:31):
some friends of mine. We're arguing as to whether the
first impressions or last impressions are the more important. When
I say last impression at least when it comes to
meal time. Well, I think it's a dessert. You're most
likely to remember if that dessert is jealal Believe me,
the memory.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Is a mighty pleasant one.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
But Jello is so temptingly good to look at him,
so deliciously good to eat. Those six glowing colors are
cheerful and gay, and those six delicious flavors are filled
with extra It's true goodness, strawberry rings, lemon, and lime.
Every susen't flatting as the real Everybody enjoys jeal. That's
why it's America's favorite gelatin.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
So the big d in the box fell free.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
That was the Canty Love slayd by the Archipra. Now,
ladies and gentlemen, we bring you a man who, after
lying flat on his back for three days with a
fad cold, threw off the covers and Dundae gone and was.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
My words exactly.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
So now we bring you that heroic personality that rocket thespians.
That's tam Old Trooper Jack Benny.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Thank you, Gelo. Yeah, there's a Jack Benny that red
and nose spoogy with a sniff snick and Don, yes,
as you say, I deserve a lot of credit for
coming down here tonight. No matter how anaker feels, his
first duty is to his pack. And I'm mighty thought
of it. Why don I've always been like that. I
(02:31):
remember one time when I was playing Border the lencior Illinois,
and even though I had hay fever and I was
following the Golden Rod trio, I went out and did
that old just the thing. Well, it was a real
test without getting down. For the last three days, I've
been a pretty sick boy. And if I hadn't been
(02:51):
for my physician, doctor Jerome SMIng, I doubt that i'd
be here today. Doctor schmink, what Jack I told him.
But he's not position. He's a charopeters a. Yes, oh well,
Lani blames it blains. Whah well a minute he came
into my room. He said, open your mouth, say ah
(03:12):
and take off your shoes. Now I understand, well I
was rejected. He takes good care of your cold. Well down.
My cold isn't completely cured, but my wonderful anyway, I
should have known he was a foot doctor. When he
went to take my pulse. He had his watch in
one hand and my ankle in the other. Well, I
guess we all made mistake. Hello, he roll houts the
(03:34):
brave little souls just tonight. Well, I wouldn't joke about it,
fil My illness was much more serious than you think
it was. Huh. Yes, my doctor told me that if
my cold was one germ worse, i'd have found out
if angels have dirty faces. You mean you to found
out the devil with the sissy? Listen, Phil, if you
(03:58):
were as sick as I was, you wouldn't be fled
me about it tonight, Believe me. Well, I know you
were sick. I came to visitors, and I'm sure you did.
You know I had a cold for you figured i'd
have a bottle of whiskey a rock, that's why. Yeah,
that was some stuff you had to Wow, what was
the matter with I took one drink in my inlays
(04:20):
that the Lambeth walk when I'm gonna serve your right
and this a enzy, Phil, I want to thank you
very much for the lovely gift you sent me. That
was sweet. Yeah, I wasn't. What was it, Jack have
as hell?
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Phil?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
I was sick as a dog and he sent me
a can of Kennel ration kettle ration. Yeah. I didn't
mind that so much, but Rochester made me an omelet
out of its Hello Kenny, Hello Jack as you called Benny.
Not much Kenny, but as weak as I was today,
I jumped out of bed, grabbed a taxicab and rushed
down here to the studio. Now why did I do it?
(04:53):
I didn't know it? Is it because you're a hamd? No?
And don't be so fresh? And another thing, Kenny Alicia
were gonna come to see me while I was sick? Yeah,
you should have gone there just for laughs? What last, now, Phil?
When I went up to see Jackie was wearing a nightgown.
A nightgown, geez, well, certainly I was wearing a nightgown.
(05:14):
Increase somewher around my neck where my cold is and
keeps me warm. There's nothing wrong with that. You should
have seen the fellows. He looks like old mother huffers.
One walk crack out of you and I hold it
a cuff your option. I was talking to Kenny, so
(05:35):
you keep out of it. Oh, I bet you were
a riot in your nightgown. Kenny, if you'll come out
of your hysterics for him. And I'd like to ask
you who won that Thanksgiving turkey you were selling tickets
on last week? Oh vast yeah. Oh tell her by
the name of Baker. Can't tell Baker? Oh why see
(05:57):
just a racket. Huh. It's told me a ticket and
get me out of fifty cents. You know what that means? Yes,
Barnum was right. Tomorrow when you get your check, think
of Barnum, you know, Kenny. I'm really surprised you, of
all people. Oh hello maryho Jack, how do you feel? Mary?
You can't possibly realize what an effort it was for
(06:18):
me to come to work today. I was in a
very critical condition. Well it's your own fault. Jack here.
You were sick of this for three days and you
wouldn't even hire a nurse. Wait a minute, Mary, I
had a nurse and you know it. Fine, nurse. All
you did was painted red cross on Rochester's coast. Well, Mary,
I would have had a regular nurse, but I just
(06:39):
couldn't find the right one. Well a car, you couldn't.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Jack wanted a Cuban girl, so could get three rumba lessons.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Oh, Mary, don't try to get laughs out of my illness. Yeah.
I hardly swept a wink all week.
Speaker 3 (06:52):
Well how could you with all those silver dollars in
your mattress?
Speaker 2 (06:58):
And you've an all kid at my sickness? But I
was looking for me. That Rochester knows something about medicine.
He was the only one who thought of putting a
mustard plaster on my chest? Is it still as yeah?
Say Jax. He saves your chest before he put the
plaster on. No he didn't lie. Oh, brother, I hope
I'm there for the unveiling. Hey, that's right, dot that Rochester.
(07:24):
How am I going to get this mustard plaster off? Well,
I'll help you, Jack, It's only take a minute. No, no, no, oh,
I've done this a lot of times. Oh, un flung
your shirt. Well, well okay, I heard a little Jack. Oh,
go ahead down, I can take it. You're dealing with
a he man, he man. Hey, Mary, you want to
hear something flast. When I went over to see Jackie
was wearing a night down. I know he bought it
(07:45):
to me. Now, marry you promise you wouldn't say a
word about it? No kidding, Mary? Was that really your
night down? Now? Listen, he's the letters in mail on it?
Mary Livingston? Well, i'll be door. Jack told me that
stood for man Lingerie. Oh be quiet after all? Go ahead,
(08:05):
don okay, steady, Jack, Yeah, steady? Oh gee take it
any don see this is more fun than unty park.
Wait a minute, don I'm better not I'm monkey with us. Hey, Jack,
let me try it. I can do it so you
won't even see. Oh no, you don't fail. Come on,
Jack's not gonna hurt a fi. Come here all right, Phil?
(08:28):
But if I feel what there you are didn't hurt
of why you idios? You might have killed me? Okay?
Oh look at me. There isn't a hair on my chest?
Tax is lady is don Taylor your hair fall? I
have to be redecorated. Taker. And now, ladies and gentlemen,
(08:54):
ooh my chess still furt, don you Phil? And now,
ladies and gentlemen, before introducing our play, I would like
to announce that next Sunday night, we are going to
do our broadcast from Radio City, New York, and the
whole gang of us are going to be there, arn't we, Fellas,
I you no, I'll be there. He is going to
(09:18):
be nice to see New York again.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Jack, If you've got such a bad coll what are
you going to New York for? I understand for having
pretty fast snowstorms back.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
There makes no difference down. I've got to be there
next week. But what's all the Russia about? What's so important?
And just tail it?
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Nathan.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
That's not the only reason I'm going. I've got an
appointment for a big New York producer. You know, Fellas.
You know the Shakespeare in New York already, and this
producer he wants me to appear in Romeo and Juliet.
Romeo and Juliet. Yes, you couldn't be a flower pot
(09:57):
on the balcony. So Phil, what do you do on Broadway?
And I'm quite positive I'm going to be Romeo my nightgown?
You could think Juliet? All right, you wait next week
you'll see And now, boy in New York say, I
haven't been there in two years? Two years Jillings Branks
had pops and now Hope. I don't know anything about pops,
(10:21):
but I do know that men, women and.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Children aren't crazy about It's tempting, economical and easy to make.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
So look for the big red letters on the box. Don.
That's positively amazing. When you started out, I didn't even
suspect that you were going to talk jello. Well, no,
and now hope. We must go on with our play.
This being the climax of the football season. Tonight we
will bring you our annual drama of the gridiron and
(10:48):
titled Whole or Now once Again. Once Again, I will
play the part of flash Benny, the famous football coach.
Kenny Baker will be right end, Phil Harris left end,
(11:09):
and Don Wilson will be the backfield.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Hold on, hold on, Jack. When the whistle blows, the
backfield have to spread.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
Out what you've been doing all right up to now?
Speaker 3 (11:22):
No, let me see, I say, yeah, Am I going
to be in the football play?
Speaker 2 (11:26):
Yes? Mary, you're going to be a beautiful co ed
watching the game way up in the grandstand. Oh No,
I want to be down on the sield where the
dialogue is. Well, I don't know, Mary. We let you
in the game last year, and every time the players
went and the huddle, they came out with lipstake on.
Now you can't play.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
Yeah, but you got a fat chance in winning the
game without portch Livingston.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Oh all right, if you're gonna play, take off that
silly hat Lett. The cheering section give you the Bronx salute.
You ought to see this one post. It looks like
a plate of force. He even got two potatoes in it.
(12:14):
And now why we all get into our uniforms. Phil
Harris and his uneducated collegians will play. Wait a minute,
I'll take him. Hello almsapellites, are your nurse talking? Oh hello, Rochester?
What do you want? Well caught and see how you're feeling? Well?
(12:37):
I was very thoughtful, Rochester. I'm feeling fine. You are?
What are you mind minding them?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Nothing seeing in a boat? Why were you surprised when
I told you mine? Well? Well, what you know that
cart man has nothing given you all week? You ask
what about it? You ain't never ho have dam in
your stomach? God, Heaven's Rochester, you give me that hair conic.
(13:11):
I told you a thousand times to read the label.
I've told you a thousand times. I can't read well
as you should get classes. I ain't gonnahead. I'll never
mind that. I'll see you tonight. So long, so long,
boll Hey, wait a minute, you know that mustard's flashing
me this morning? Light and off it off? Why didn't
you shave my chest first? Shave you? Yes, look, boss,
(13:33):
I don't mind being a butler, chauffriend and nurse, but
when I get a raised in my hand, it's for
defensive purposes. Owners. All right, I'll take this up with
you tonight. Goodbye. Oh wait a minute, boss, am I
(13:53):
going to New York with him? Yes? Rochester, you're going.
Oh he just comes your kiss the horse blow? All right?
Well that ex fight? Goodbye? How do you like that? Fell?
Isn't that all I've been drinking hair tonic all week? Well,
I won't urt. You're looking at my guitar player. He's
the picture of hell. Yeah. But if you ever take
(14:14):
that tool off from undroom locked out, we haven't place that.
We've got a long sketch to do. That was a
(16:23):
girlfriend of the Whirling Dervish played by a boyfriend of
anyone who's got a girlfriend, and our fire football player
hold that line. The scene is Flatwood College, located in
the fighting little town of Toboggan Slide, Indiana. The first
(16:46):
half has just ended in the annual game with meat
ball taps. The coach is giving a team a pet
hawk in the locker room curtains the US dolison man.
In this last half, we got to get in there
and fight. Tell me discouraged. Why did other team are
(17:07):
upon a spineless jelly fish? Why they're yellow? Yeah, but
poor black and boo oh, let's not get technicolored, dollison man.
We never won a game from me ball tech, but
today it's a cent. What do you mean a sense?
The score sixty five to nothing in their face. Well,
we're still young, marg we I would win this game,
(17:31):
you guys who put a little pep into it, especially
you Harris in the second quarter you had a marvelous
hand for a touchdown and top white in the middle
of the plate that comb your hair. What was the
ideas well, I want to look good in the noose
re you go, Oh you do a an Incidentally, I
hate so off the next time you get the ball
out with it, don't fuck on down. Well I got
(17:53):
rid of never mind and you, Wilson far I'm sorry
about that one fumble, coach, one fumble. I thought you
were playing drop the hanker and you. But but as
a coach, you're a great health to him. The last
(18:13):
play you were kind of lighted to seen yards for holding. Well,
he was handsome, handsome may. I wouldn't care if you
was car d. We're playing football, west Coach. I'm doing
the best I can. I'll say you are. We haven't
played a team this fall. If you haven't given you
a pull number two, well, it's a long winner. Fine
(18:35):
bunch of athletes. Hey, coach, Bunny wall Baker. You remember
when I was running past the forty yards linter, I
dropped the ball? Yeah, yeah, I picked it up and
buck it again. Yeah, I picked it up. Yeah, I'm
going to stuck it again. What a water ball? Wasn't
that anger bating? Certainly? Was he? Tony Baker? What's the
(19:02):
idea of playing football in a sailor too? I thought
of my rain. Oh, I'm not taking any chances in
the second half. I'm going in the game, my sell.
Okay man, let's get off on the feel and give
them on Wait a minute, come in all right, right,
for Jack Benny, say your book. Okay, maybe it's an
offer to play Notre Dame. Oh cash why in New York.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
It's from the Ashney Hotel on fourteenth Street, fourteenth.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Of the day.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
It can offer you excellent accommodations during your stay New
York rate six dollars a week back on every floor.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Just follow the Errol.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
Well, I can give you a lovely room overlooking a
Tom pat comcast.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Above.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
Rate includes a continental breakfast consisting of a New England
boiled dinner.
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Oh I see a kid. That sounds the fact that's
six dollars a week and Bob. But it's pretty too
far from everything that's called. What about the football games?
Like time? Never man, let's get the next heel of fight?
What this thing? Why spy? Yeah, we all host the
(20:27):
toll of sixty five to nothing in the second half.
It's about them again. Meet Paul is already on the feeling.
Here comes like a Spenny and he's flat for Steve.
What's what is going to take off to meet? Fall in?
The crowd is on kidds and Eagles. The passteach hair
shut up and there's a whistle. They're lighting up. Why
(20:48):
Spenny is about to take off. Time your toes man.
He's running for the ball, and there's a cat doc
(21:12):
that I forgot to blow it up. Give me out
a ball, fellas, here's the watermelon cold. I don't want
to back. We haven't used the watermelon since we played Alabama.
He want to be that ball you've got. Oh no,
it's mine, and I want a kicker. I get bake
the baby. I hold you some of your toe baker,
you hold the ball for the king. Okay, there they
(21:34):
go both. A new ball is being held in plate
flight because thanks boy. Wilson is about to kick off,
and here comes the kick. No walk the kid. See
that ball is probably big me. He he comes down here.
(21:58):
Wilson is falling. Kick here of me, for he seems
thinker on the own fool of your mind. That's your
Paul Wilson. What's this? Get the fuel? When becomes all
they get way to see you. All right, fellas, we
got the ball. Here's our chance to pay off the
mortgage and get our dean back from the finance. Coming
(22:19):
let him kay mask as a fine spirits. Now listen, Wilson.
When the ball is snaps to me, I'll go with
the Harris, he'll pass it to you, and instead of
going to centers, you run around your own ends. What
are you laughing? As he said it ain't nation, will
be a long traveler. Never mind mask, we'll find this
(22:44):
place for a fuchdog. You get in there, Harris and
give those signals. I'm sorry, can't God forgot him, forgot
the sing those? But did I fine thing? What do
we do now that cain't fat, isn't dance? And all
that will do? I know I'll hall the singals myself.
Come on, man, this is a big hands. By lighting
(23:05):
up now, by spending is a corner, all right, man?
Signal one for the money, two for the show. I'll
take the ball and away we go. I mean, has
all the pass of the mount and looking balls and
then Benny, we come there, bunny set look at him?
Whoa oh my chest? Wow, look at it gold twenty yards,
(23:31):
twenty yards, forty yards a game for us.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
If you want your husband to take you to the
movies happen then in tomorrow night, here's the desert that
is guaranteed the moneyman of.
Speaker 2 (25:06):
The last number of the ninth program in the New
Yellow series and will be with you again next Sunday
night at the same time, broadcasting from Radio City, New York.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
Hey, Jack, you better buy some glass, You better buy
some glosses.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
You know it's telling them New York. Well, I won't
meet them. I'll have Rochester carrying me piggyback. The Nighthol
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!