• Watching a documentary about the 2011 Joplin F5 tornado before bed was definitely not the move
• Preparing for tornado warnings by staging important items in advance makes middle-of-the-night evacuations easier
• Tornado safe spaces need to be comfortable for prolonged stays - bring snacks, pillows, and entertainment
• Sleep deprivation after a night of weather alerts makes even simple tasks challenging
• Despite not being a purse person, I secretly want a Louis Vuitton Neverfull bag for main character energy
• Thrift shopping at Goodwill yields incredible finds including brand-new designer clothes with tags still attached
• My new air fryer produced hamburger hockey pucks on the first attempt but cooked brats perfectly
• The Real ID weight question conspiracy continues as more people report different experiences
Thank you for supporting Jennipod! Please rate us and follow the podcast on Apple and add to playlist on Spotify. On Instagram follow along @thejennipod. Email jennifermeadevo@gmail.com for any Voice Over inquiries.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
What's up everyone.
Welcome to Episode 14 ofJennaPod.
The network just keeps tellingme I have to get these out
weekly.
So here we are.
If you are new, here I am,jennifer.
I live in Nashville, tennessee,and I grew up in Fairfield,
(00:30):
ohio.
Go Indians.
Last episode I described mydream guy as a 1998 dude wearing
Abercrombie.
I had many women reach out andsay hell yeah, and also say why
did you just describe my highschool boyfriend?
(00:51):
My husband said your dream guysounds like a douchebag and I
said he probably is a douchebag,but I want him to ask me to
prom.
Douchebag, but I want him toask me to prom.
I want him to take me toApplebee's.
(01:11):
I want him to give me hisAbercrombie hat.
Once I got to college, all theboys wore JCrew.
Is Miami University stillreferred to as JCrew U Lauren,
can you confirm that for me?
Also, can you go get me ahoodie from the bookstore?
(01:32):
It will be a gift.
Thank you in advance.
Today is Saturday, april 5th.
There are still tornadowarnings going on northwest of
me as I write this up.
Chill the hell out, motherNature.
I think we have another roundcoming tonight.
(01:53):
It's been a week for severeweather.
These lines are so long.
I've been texting everyone inCincinnati who's in the same
line of storms, except we getthem like three to four hours
after they do.
Shout out to my girlfriend,janae, who was sitting in her
(02:18):
car at the Cincinnati NorthernKentucky Airport when a little
baby tornado went through acouple weeks ago.
She was live texting saying uh,things are flying around my car
, not the F-Zero in the cellphone parking lot, by the way.
When does the damn cell phonelot at the Nashville airport
come back to the actual campusinstead of way way far away?
(02:41):
Before I even knew whatvoiceover was, I always mimicked
the announcements at theNashville airport.
When I walk into BNA, Iimmediately start with hey y'all
, this is Garth Brooks, welcometo Nashville International
Airport.
What a terrible southern, whata terrible men's southern accent
(03:04):
.
That was so.
Really, that's my dream rolethe announcement person at the
airport, holla.
Last Saturday night at 8 pm westarted watching the documentary
the Twister Caught in the Storm.
(03:25):
This was the documentary Imentioned a couple episodes ago
about the May 2011 F5 Joplin,missouri, tornado.
Y'all.
This was the scariest thingI've ever seen.
Starting it right before bedwas not the move.
(03:45):
My blood pressure was off thecharts and I felt nauseated
while I was watching it.
Yes, I know, dramatic it me,but damn, it was terrifying.
So you know, after watchingthat Saturday, I was ready for
this week.
She is ready.
That Saturday I was ready forthis week, she is ready.
(04:09):
Sunday night was what I calledthe dress rehearsal.
I had friends sleep through thestorm and that causes me stress
, not your girl Doppler,jennifer.
Now, where I went wrong Sundaynight was I had all my important
stuff out on the dining roomtable, like my purse, the dog
leashes, my work computer withaccessories and my important
(04:30):
binder of stuff.
Now, in the middle of the night, when my phone started saying
tornado warning and the sirenswere going off, I just didn't
have the bandwidth to geteverything down to the workshop.
But we got down there and Ithink that was just a short
warning.
There have been so many thisweek I can't remember.
(04:53):
So then we get to Wednesdaynight into Thursday morning, the
big show also known as thelargest tornado outbreak since
2011, and maybe the fourth mostever in the history books.
I had friends from Titans whowere at the University of
(05:14):
Alabama when that storm hitTuscaloosa in 2011.
Now, my husband was out of townand I actually think this worked
out better because he wouldhave been like I'm staying in
bed, so I had one less human toworry about.
I also went ahead and had mystuff down in the workshop,
(05:36):
which is probably my number onetip.
I was nervous going into thenight, so I woke up at 9.30 pm,
10.30 pm, 12.20 pm and, veryglad, at that point I let the
dogs out, because at 2.40 amwhen the tornado warning went
(05:57):
off on my phone, we was hustlingdown to the workshop.
Now I have to travel pretty farto get to my safe spot.
I'm sleeping on the secondstory.
I got to get down to the firststory, go all the way across the
house, down the stairs into thegarage, around the cars, and
(06:19):
then the workshop is in the backof the garage.
I should start timing us to seehow fast we can get down there,
not us having tornado drills.
The dogs did fantastic, greatlisteners, so it's just not
transitioning to a bathroom downthe hall.
Now I do get to be surroundedby cinder block walls and I'm
(06:42):
under the ground, so winning.
But why was I hustling so hard?
Because the warning went offand I always opened the Twitter
first and it was like yes, thisis a warning for your city of
45,000 people and my poor19-year-old goblin cat.
(07:02):
I gently tossed her into thepowder room on the first floor
with a blanket.
She's blind and I just need herin a small confined space.
I said peace out senders.
See you on the other side.
Now, once in the workshop, Ihave a large flat screen TV and
(07:23):
I already had the news streaming.
I was ready for Danielle Breezyto keep me posted.
Now, when the news startedsaying intersections about 5.5
miles west of me and thenshowing the swirly arrows of
rotation over my city, it wasvery exciting.
Luckily, nothing happened.
(07:45):
After the first wave wentthrough, I thought I'll go back
to bed before the next one.
Welp, get into bed threeminutes later.
Tornado warning again in thename of my city.
Back again, back down, we go tothe workshop.
Back down, we go to theworkshop.
We stayed down in the workshopuntil about 5.10 am.
(08:07):
Now I did go upstairs to getrawhides because I had WWE
wrestling going on with the dogs.
Another thing I learned is Ineed my tornado safe space to be
comfy for prolonged hours.
When you go somewhere for 20minutes and then it's over, no
(08:30):
big deal.
But when you are almost in yoursafe space for 2.5 hours it
gets old.
I need a couch with a pillowand blankets and I need food.
By 4 am my body was like can Iget a made-to-order omelet?
Fucking starving.
(08:51):
We went back to bed at 5.30am.
My alarm went off at 6.15am thatI'd forgotten to turn off for
work and then the almostone-year-old puppy at 7.30am was
like girl, I'm up.
So how Nashville felt all dayThursday is what I assume a new
(09:12):
mother feels after her babydoesn't sleep all night.
I was supposed to go toGallatin, tennessee, for work.
That got canceled and thank Godbecause these synapses were not
firing.
I kept wondering Thursdayduring the day what do people
with critical jobs do after anentire night of tornado warnings
(09:35):
?
Like I just need to send emails.
What if you are a surgeon?
Snort some Adderall laced withsome Celsius and scrub on in.
I could not have performed openheart surgery on Thursday
because, a I am not trained inthat field, b I could barely
read my Kroger shopping list andshop, let alone save a life.
(09:59):
Sleep deprivation is not it Now.
Even though the storms havebeen terrifying, I don't want
spring to be over, because assoon as spring is over in
Nashville, it becomes 95 degreeswith 200% humidity through
August.
I should probably buy a radarsystem, teach myself on YouTube
(10:24):
how to use it.
Google says the E700XD portableweather radar is priced at over
$100,000.
So I'll be starting a GoFundMefor that and then I'll go live
and just repeat everything.
Nashville severe weather isalready saying.
(10:46):
My best friend Reby, who I willnow just call best friend Reby,
was behind on the podcastbecause she is a busy travel
businesswoman and a mama.
She finally listened to episode12, they I am leaving you all
(11:12):
my random ass stuff, just so younever forget me.
I immediately replied yes, I'lltake all your Kate Spade purses
, but none of that weird VeraBradley crap, who here was a
Vera Bradley girly or still is aVera Bradley girly.
(11:33):
I didn't get it.
I was like that purse lookslike a quilt.
I have never had a designerhandbag or purse.
I am not much of a purse person.
Again, bring back the cargoshorts.
I will put all my shit in thepockets.
Maybe I should just wear cargoshorts.
I currently rock an Amazonoutdoor tactical military sport
(11:58):
sling shoulder backpack.
My gym gave me that for free.
I love free stuff.
I've used it for over a year.
I get lots of compliments on it.
My gym actually just found anextra one recently, gave it to
me and now I have a backup one.
However, even though I am not apurse person, I want a Louis
(12:24):
Vuitton purse.
I want to be at the airportwith that brown, neverfull bag
it's over two grand walkingaround with main character
energy.
Every time I see a woman withsomething Louie, I'm like that's
so ridiculous, but also gimme.
Now wait, I apologize, I waslying.
(12:47):
My mother-in-law gave me acoach purse clutch a long time
ago.
Sorry, carol, my bad.
It is very nice, but I keep itin the closet and only take it
out for nice occasions, when I'mfeeling fancy.
So I guess this is the partwhere I tell everyone when they
(13:10):
update their wills, to leave meall their designer purses and
handbags, because I promise Iwill take very good care of them
.
My husband can just take all myghetto purses to Goodwill.
I love Goodwill.
I haven't paid full price for apiece of clothing in like I
(13:32):
don't know ever.
I was born into a thrifty shop,being family both sides and to
this day I'm a Goodwill girly.
Gabriel Brothers, gabes hashtag, if you know.
You know consignment stores orthe clearance rack at TJ Maxx.
I am that person who can spendhours just hunting for shit and
(13:55):
a good deal.
Now, don't get me wrong, I doshop on Amazon if I need
something specific, but I amnever spending over $25 on one
item.
If there was a shopping gameshow at Goodwill, I think I
could win.
Whenever I visit my sistercousin in Cleveland, we have
(14:15):
been known to visit multipleGoodwills back to back to back.
People are giving away highquality clothes with the tag
still on them.
I have found brand new BananaRepublic dresses, ann Taylor
loft shirts.
What have you Megan said at herfuneral?
(14:36):
She wants me to go to Goodwilland find the most ridiculous
outfit I can find.
Doesn't matter if it's slutty,it's what she wants.
Speaking of dead people, valKilmer passed away this week.
Rip on Instagram of him reverseaging like before he was 65, he
(14:59):
was 59 and went all the waydown to 19, seamlessly
transitioning him reverse aging.
It was really cool, but alsovery sad.
But now I'm like I could goahead and produce my AI funeral
video.
I mean, can't be too hard, Ifeel.
Instead of a hologram, I bet Ican just have an interactive AI
(15:23):
statue or something.
I obviously have the audioequipment.
If I live to be old enough Ibet I can have a robot of me
walking around, but like a young, hot version of me, like a
young, hot version of me, like32-year-old robot, jennifer is
(15:43):
like hey, howdy, can I get youan old-fashioned or some shrimp
cocktail?
Because I swear, if mycelebration of life is boring I
will be livid.
I'm not sure about the dresscode yet.
Tbd, don't wear a suit, it'snot necessary.
Tbd, don't wear a suit, it'snot necessary.
(16:03):
Anyway, everyone is invited.
Let's say sometime in 2082,because I'm really working hard
to be 100.
The free air fryer made it to myhouse last Saturday from
Cincinnati.
It's beautiful.
It's an Emeril Lagasse Pro.
It's $149 on Amazon.
Remember I got it for free.
You can even rotisserie stuffin it.
(16:26):
Is that the right use of thatword, rotisserie-ing food?
It also has a dehydrator.
I'll never use that.
I always love the cookbooksthat come along with a new
appliance.
Emeril's creative marketingteam thinks I'm going to be
getting into Cornish hens,rosemary leg of lamb,
(16:49):
bacon-weaved stuffed turkey.
What in the world?
No, sir, I am making basicwhite people food in there.
Also, I assume air fryers aremostly used by parents feeding
their babies, chiggy nuggies ordrunk college students needing
pizza rolls or bagel bites at 2am.
(17:10):
Man, that sounds good Damn.
I miss my metabolism and thenon-irritated stomach of a
20-year-old.
With the arrival of the airfryer, I went ahead and bought
some pre-made hamburger patties.
I was ready to cook somefrickin' meat.
Now the general cookingguidelines said hamburger 1, 4th
(17:33):
to 1.1 pounds, 7 to 14 minutesat 360 degrees.
Now that is a wide array ofinformation.
Y'all this was a disaster fromthe start.
Nowhere in the directions didit say flip them.
I didn't frip my burgers.
After seven minutes I pulledthem out and there was red goo
(17:57):
blood whatever it's calledcoming out of the top of them
and they were bright red in themiddle.
It was still mooing.
Another seven minutes still adisaster.
Round two I did four patties onone rack.
Didn't flip them, but they wereedible hockey pucks.
Didn't flip them, but they wereedible hockey pucks.
(18:22):
So as someone who was superpsyched for this damn air fryer,
I got sad and mad emotionallydone with this contraption.
Now, come Sunday, I threw in apack of brats.
Now that shit cooked perfectlyand I was a happy, happy girl
again.
So my goal this week is to tryburgers again.
I've gotten tips and tricksfrom friend Melissa friend of
(18:45):
the pod who has fed threegrowing boys with an air fryer.
So there is hope, folks.
I think the Real ID conspiracyis growing.
I had two people tell me theywere not asked about their
weight.
So was this guy a creeper?
Are they only asking randompeople about their weight?
(19:08):
Was Tyra Banks hiding in thebackground assessing me for
America's Next Top Model?
Background assessing me forAmerica's Next Top Model?
Please keep letting me knowabout your Real ID experiences.
I'm still considering posting upat the airport on Wednesday May
7th to see what happens.
I should get the equipment tointerview people and make a fake
(19:29):
media ID.
I am media now.
I have mentioned before.
My mother texts me coupons offree stuff she has downloaded to
my Kroger account.
This week she sent a picture ofa free box of popcorn, but the
screenshot and the website cutoff the word popcorn, so it just
(19:53):
showed Cousin Willie's HotButter and I was like what the
fuck is this product?
Also, why is it so sexual?
Why is my mom sending me sexybutter?
I mean it's free.
But now if the product wascalled Ryan Gosling's Hot's hot
(20:15):
butter.
Hey, oh okay, you either gotthe reference or not, and this
is why this is an explicitpodcast, because we are now
talking about man butter.
Y'all stay safe out there withdim tornadoes and have a great
week.
Jennapod is directed, producedand edited by me, your girl,
(20:40):
jennifer.
Please rate, review andsubscribe to this on Apple
Podcasts, spotify or whereveryou are listening to my lovely
voice Laters.
Thank you.
What's up everyone.
Welcome to Episode 14 ofJennaPod.
The network just keeps tellingme I have to get these out
weekly.
So here we are.
If you are new, here I am,jennifer.
I live in Nashville, tennessee,and I grew up in Fairfield,
(00:30):
ohio.
Go Indians.
Last episode I described mydream guy as a 1998 dude wearing
Abercrombie.
I had many women reach out andsay hell yeah, and also say why
did you just describe my highschool boyfriend?
(00:51):
My husband said your dream guysounds like a douchebag and I
said he probably is a douchebag,but I want him to ask me to
prom.
Douchebag, but I want him toask me to prom.
I want him to take me toApplebee's.
(01:11):
I want him to give me hisAbercrombie hat.
Once I got to college, all theboys wore JCrew.
Is Miami University stillreferred to as JCrew U Lauren,
can you confirm that for me?
Also, can you go get me ahoodie from the bookstore?
(01:32):
It will be a gift.
Thank you in advance.
Today is Saturday, april 5th.
There are still tornadowarnings going on northwest of
me as I write this up.
Chill the hell out, motherNature.
I think we have another roundcoming tonight.
(01:53):
It's been a week for severeweather.
These lines are so long.
I've been texting everyone inCincinnati who's in the same
line of storms, except we getthem like three to four hours
after they do.
Shout out to my girlfriend,janae, who was sitting in her
(02:18):
car at the Cincinnati NorthernKentucky Airport when a little
baby tornado went through acouple weeks ago.
She was live texting saying uh,things are flying around my car
, not the F-Zero in the cellphone parking lot, by the way.
When does the damn cell phonelot at the Nashville airport
come back to the actual campusinstead of way way far away?
(02:41):
Before I even knew whatvoiceover was, I always mimicked
the announcements at theNashville airport.
When I walk into BNA, Iimmediately start with hey y'all
, this is Garth Brooks, welcometo Nashville International
Airport.
What a terrible southern, whata terrible men's southern accent
(03:04):
.
That was so.
Really, that's my dream rolethe announcement person at the
airport, holla.
Last Saturday night at 8 pm westarted watching the documentary
the Twister Caught in the Storm.
(03:25):
This was the documentary Imentioned a couple episodes ago
about the May 2011 F5 Joplin,missouri, tornado.
Y'all.
This was the scariest thingI've ever seen.
Starting it right before bedwas not the move.
(03:45):
My blood pressure was off thecharts and I felt nauseated
while I was watching it.
Yes, I know, dramatic it me,but damn, it was terrifying.
So you know, after watchingthat Saturday, I was ready for
this week.
She is ready.
That Saturday I was ready forthis week, she is ready.
(04:09):
Sunday night was what I calledthe dress rehearsal.
I had friends sleep through thestorm and that causes me stress
, not your girl Doppler,jennifer.
Now, where I went wrong Sundaynight was I had all my important
stuff out on the dining roomtable, like my purse, the dog
leashes, my work computer withaccessories and my important
(04:30):
binder of stuff.
Now, in the middle of the night, when my phone started saying
tornado warning and the sirenswere going off, I just didn't
have the bandwidth to geteverything down to the workshop.
But we got down there and Ithink that was just a short
warning.
There have been so many thisweek I can't remember.
(04:53):
So then we get to Wednesdaynight into Thursday morning, the
big show also known as thelargest tornado outbreak since
2011, and maybe the fourth mostever in the history books.
I had friends from Titans whowere at the University of
(05:14):
Alabama when that storm hitTuscaloosa in 2011.
Now, my husband was out of townand I actually think this worked
out better because he wouldhave been like I'm staying in
bed, so I had one less human toworry about.
I also went ahead and had mystuff down in the workshop,
(05:36):
which is probably my number onetip.
I was nervous going into thenight, so I woke up at 9.30 pm,
10.30 pm, 12.20 pm and, veryglad, at that point I let the
dogs out, because at 2.40 amwhen the tornado warning went
(05:57):
off on my phone, we was hustlingdown to the workshop.
Now I have to travel pretty farto get to my safe spot.
I'm sleeping on the secondstory.
I got to get down to the firststory, go all the way across the
house, down the stairs into thegarage, around the cars, and
(06:19):
then the workshop is in the backof the garage.
I should start timing us to seehow fast we can get down there,
not us having tornado drills.
The dogs did fantastic, greatlisteners, so it's just not
transitioning to a bathroom downthe hall.
Now I do get to be surroundedby cinder block walls and I'm
(06:42):
under the ground, so winning.
But why was I hustling so hard?
Because the warning went offand I always opened the Twitter
first and it was like yes, thisis a warning for your city of
45,000 people and my poor19-year-old goblin cat.
(07:02):
I gently tossed her into thepowder room on the first floor
with a blanket.
She's blind and I just need herin a small confined space.
I said peace out senders.
See you on the other side.
Now, once in the workshop, Ihave a large flat screen TV and
(07:23):
I already had the news streaming.
I was ready for Danielle Breezyto keep me posted.
Now, when the news startedsaying intersections about 5.5
miles west of me and thenshowing the swirly arrows of
rotation over my city, it wasvery exciting.
Luckily, nothing happened.
(07:45):
After the first wave wentthrough, I thought I'll go back
to bed before the next one.
Welp, get into bed threeminutes later.
Tornado warning again in thename of my city.
Back again, back down, we go tothe workshop.
Back down, we go to theworkshop.
We stayed down in the workshopuntil about 5.10 am.
(08:07):
Now I did go upstairs to getrawhides because I had WWE
wrestling going on with the dogs.
Another thing I learned is Ineed my tornado safe space to be
comfy for prolonged hours.
When you go somewhere for 20minutes and then it's over, no
(08:30):
big deal.
But when you are almost in yoursafe space for 2.5 hours it
gets old.
I need a couch with a pillowand blankets and I need food.
By 4 am my body was like can Iget a made-to-order omelet?
Fucking starving.
(08:51):
We went back to bed at 5.30am.
My alarm went off at 6.15am thatI'd forgotten to turn off for
work and then the almostone-year-old puppy at 7.30am was
like girl, I'm up.
So how Nashville felt all dayThursday is what I assume a new
(09:12):
mother feels after her babydoesn't sleep all night.
I was supposed to go toGallatin, tennessee, for work.
That got canceled and thank Godbecause these synapses were not
firing.
I kept wondering Thursdayduring the day what do people
with critical jobs do after anentire night of tornado warnings
(09:35):
?
Like I just need to send emails.
What if you are a surgeon?
Snort some Adderall laced withsome Celsius and scrub on in.
I could not have performed openheart surgery on Thursday
because, a I am not trained inthat field, b I could barely
read my Kroger shopping list andshop, let alone save a life.
(09:59):
Sleep deprivation is not it Now.
Even though the storms havebeen terrifying, I don't want
spring to be over, because assoon as spring is over in
Nashville, it becomes 95 degreeswith 200% humidity through
August.
I should probably buy a radarsystem, teach myself on YouTube
(10:24):
how to use it.
Google says the E700XD portableweather radar is priced at over
$100,000.
So I'll be starting a GoFundMefor that and then I'll go live
and just repeat everything.
Nashville severe weather isalready saying.
(10:46):
My best friend Reby, who I willnow just call best friend Reby,
was behind on the podcastbecause she is a busy travel
businesswoman and a mama.
She finally listened to episode12, they I am leaving you all
(11:12):
my random ass stuff, just so younever forget me.
I immediately replied yes, I'lltake all your Kate Spade purses
, but none of that weird VeraBradley crap, who here was a
Vera Bradley girly or still is aVera Bradley girly.
(11:33):
I didn't get it.
I was like that purse lookslike a quilt.
I have never had a designerhandbag or purse.
I am not much of a purse person.
Again, bring back the cargoshorts.
I will put all my shit in thepockets.
Maybe I should just wear cargoshorts.
I currently rock an Amazonoutdoor tactical military sport
(11:58):
sling shoulder backpack.
My gym gave me that for free.
I love free stuff.
I've used it for over a year.
I get lots of compliments on it.
My gym actually just found anextra one recently, gave it to
me and now I have a backup one.
However, even though I am not apurse person, I want a Louis
(12:24):
Vuitton purse.
I want to be at the airportwith that brown, neverfull bag
it's over two grand walkingaround with main character
energy.
Every time I see a woman withsomething Louie, I'm like that's
so ridiculous, but also gimme.
Now wait, I apologize, I waslying.
(12:47):
My mother-in-law gave me acoach purse clutch a long time
ago.
Sorry, carol, my bad.
It is very nice, but I keep itin the closet and only take it
out for nice occasions, when I'mfeeling fancy.
So I guess this is the partwhere I tell everyone when they
(13:10):
update their wills, to leave meall their designer purses and
handbags, because I promise Iwill take very good care of them
.
My husband can just take all myghetto purses to Goodwill.
I love Goodwill.
I haven't paid full price for apiece of clothing in like I
(13:32):
don't know ever.
I was born into a thrifty shop,being family both sides and to
this day I'm a Goodwill girly.
Gabriel Brothers, gabes hashtag, if you know.
You know consignment stores orthe clearance rack at TJ Maxx.
I am that person who can spendhours just hunting for shit and
(13:55):
a good deal.
Now, don't get me wrong, I doshop on Amazon if I need
something specific, but I amnever spending over $25 on one
item.
If there was a shopping gameshow at Goodwill, I think I
could win.
Whenever I visit my sistercousin in Cleveland, we have
(14:15):
been known to visit multipleGoodwills back to back to back.
People are giving away highquality clothes with the tag
still on them.
I have found brand new BananaRepublic dresses, ann Taylor
loft shirts.
What have you Megan said at herfuneral?
(14:36):
She wants me to go to Goodwilland find the most ridiculous
outfit I can find.
Doesn't matter if it's slutty,it's what she wants.
Speaking of dead people, valKilmer passed away this week.
Rip on Instagram of him reverseaging like before he was 65, he
(14:59):
was 59 and went all the waydown to 19, seamlessly
transitioning him reverse aging.
It was really cool, but alsovery sad.
But now I'm like I could goahead and produce my AI funeral
video.
I mean, can't be too hard, Ifeel.
Instead of a hologram, I bet Ican just have an interactive AI
(15:23):
statue or something.
I obviously have the audioequipment.
If I live to be old enough Ibet I can have a robot of me
walking around, but like a young, hot version of me, like a
young, hot version of me, like32-year-old robot, jennifer is
(15:43):
like hey, howdy, can I get youan old-fashioned or some shrimp
cocktail?
Because I swear, if mycelebration of life is boring I
will be livid.
I'm not sure about the dresscode yet.
Tbd, don't wear a suit, it'snot necessary.
Tbd, don't wear a suit, it'snot necessary.
(16:03):
Anyway, everyone is invited.
Let's say sometime in 2082,because I'm really working hard
to be 100.
The free air fryer made it to myhouse last Saturday from
Cincinnati.
It's beautiful.
It's an Emeril Lagasse Pro.
It's $149 on Amazon.
Remember I got it for free.
You can even rotisserie stuffin it.
(16:26):
Is that the right use of thatword, rotisserie-ing food?
It also has a dehydrator.
I'll never use that.
I always love the cookbooksthat come along with a new
appliance.
Emeril's creative marketingteam thinks I'm going to be
getting into Cornish hens,rosemary leg of lamb,
(16:49):
bacon-weaved stuffed turkey.
What in the world?
No, sir, I am making basicwhite people food in there.
Also, I assume air fryers aremostly used by parents feeding
their babies, chiggy nuggies ordrunk college students needing
pizza rolls or bagel bites at 2am.
(17:10):
Man, that sounds good Damn.
I miss my metabolism and thenon-irritated stomach of a
20-year-old.
With the arrival of the airfryer, I went ahead and bought
some pre-made hamburger patties.
I was ready to cook somefrickin' meat.
Now the general cookingguidelines said hamburger 1, 4th
(17:33):
to 1.1 pounds, 7 to 14 minutesat 360 degrees.
Now that is a wide array ofinformation.
Y'all this was a disaster fromthe start.
Nowhere in the directions didit say flip them.
I didn't frip my burgers.
After seven minutes I pulledthem out and there was red goo
(17:57):
blood whatever it's calledcoming out of the top of them
and they were bright red in themiddle.
It was still mooing.
Another seven minutes still adisaster.
Round two I did four patties onone rack.
Didn't flip them, but they wereedible hockey pucks.
Didn't flip them, but they wereedible hockey pucks.
(18:22):
So as someone who was superpsyched for this damn air fryer,
I got sad and mad emotionallydone with this contraption.
Now, come Sunday, I threw in apack of brats.
Now that shit cooked perfectlyand I was a happy, happy girl
again.
So my goal this week is to tryburgers again.
I've gotten tips and tricksfrom friend Melissa friend of
(18:45):
the pod who has fed threegrowing boys with an air fryer.
So there is hope, folks.
I think the Real ID conspiracyis growing.
I had two people tell me theywere not asked about their
weight.
So was this guy a creeper?
Are they only asking randompeople about their weight?
(19:08):
Was Tyra Banks hiding in thebackground assessing me for
America's Next Top Model?
Background assessing me forAmerica's Next Top Model?
Please keep letting me knowabout your Real ID experiences.
I'm still considering posting upat the airport on Wednesday May
7th to see what happens.
I should get the equipment tointerview people and make a fake
(19:29):
media ID.
I am media now.
I have mentioned before.
My mother texts me coupons offree stuff she has downloaded to
my Kroger account.
This week she sent a picture ofa free box of popcorn, but the
screenshot and the website cutoff the word popcorn, so it just
(19:53):
showed Cousin Willie's HotButter and I was like what the
fuck is this product?
Also, why is it so sexual?
Why is my mom sending me sexybutter?
I mean it's free.
But now if the product wascalled Ryan Gosling's Hot's hot
(20:15):
butter.
Hey, oh okay, you either gotthe reference or not, and this
is why this is an explicitpodcast, because we are now
talking about man butter.
Y'all stay safe out there withdim tornadoes and have a great
week.
Jennapod is directed, producedand edited by me, your girl,
(20:40):
jennifer.
Please rate, review andsubscribe to this on Apple
Podcasts, spotify or whereveryou are listening to my lovely
voice Laters.
Thank you.
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