The Perfect Designer

Now friend.

Can I be real for a minute? I’m not in the business of sugar coating anymore.

This is real. raw. honest to God truth.

So if you ain’t feeling that, then you may or may not want to read any further.

I hate how wide my nose is—it feels like it could cover a horizon.I don’t like the fact that some of the weight stayed after I had my son.And sometimes, I look at my fingernail beds and wish they were more crisp and slender than they are.

I have dark marks on my face.My elbows and underarms are a little darker than what’s considered “normal.”And sometimes, I find myself wishing I could go back to who I was before having a baby.

But, then I come back to my senses…

To tell you the truth I am receiving so much freedom from what we call “spilling tea” or “the business”. I quite frankly don’t care because these are things that God has put on my heart to share. If it speaks to you, hold on to it—if not, that’s okay too.

I recently completed a fast, and I’ve never felt so much freedom and breakthrough. And just like that, J3 is starting to take on a life of its own.

About a month ago, I got Botox in my forehead because I had a harsh line that I felt I wanted to get ride of. Like lines and wrinkles already? I’m not even thirty.

So like others I took action. I found someone I felt like did great work and got it done. Now don’t get me wrong—it looks good. She ate with that one.But my spirit, eh? Unsettled.

I felt a deep conviction after—and while that might not be everyone’s experience, it was certainly mine.

Fast forward a few weeks, and suddenly my eye starts feeling… weird. There was this slight droop in my eyelid.

Why, you ask? The FREAKING Botox.

I quite literally almost passed out like—why does my eyelid look like this?!I’m not even gonna lie, I yelled out,“Bro, I literally look like I have a freaking lazy eye!”

I felt like those people on that E! show Botched…

It’s not even like the Lord had to make an example out of me… but He did.That’s why we’ve got to stop while we’re ahead, friend (lol).

Now of course, this doesn’t happen to everyone—so relax, friend.But what I do know is that it happened to me.

And babe? Never again.

I’m good. 🙃

Why didn’t I just give this to the Lord?The feelings of inadequacy… the heaviness I carried.Because deep down—even though I kept telling myself and everyone else I was fine—Friend, I really wasn’t.

I’m so grateful that I’ve entrusted all my emotions and struggles to God. Through His grace, He has given me a renewed spirit and a sense of peace.

Nevertheless, my eye will go back to normal once the Botox wears off, but you know where I’m going with this.

Why change what the Creator of creators has intentionally made? He literally tells us, friend—“You knit me together in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13). That’s not random—that’s divine design.

I encourage you to read Psalm 139 in its fullness and soak in the sweet, ever-present song of how He thinks about us, cares for us, and intentionally created us.

Now don’t get me wrong—it’s okay to make necessary changes.Eating better, living healthier, getting braces—those things are good.

All I’m saying is… before we start thinking about altering our bodies, our faces, or whatever else—pause and remember:God planned, designed, knitted, and created you to look and be exactly who you are.

You won’t find another you anywhere else.

Is that not enough?

With love —

B

Friendnote:Have y’all ever tried Dalgona coffee?

The “lockdown coffee.” V