Joel Osteen - Dealing With Difficult People

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
The real way you see favor increase is you bless
your enemies. When you're good to those that are not
good to you, not only will you rise higher, but
God will deal with those who are not treating you right.
He knows how to heap coals afire, how to put pressure,
how to make them think differently about you. Hi, this
is Joel and Victoria. Thanks for listening to our podcast

(00:23):
and thanks for supporting the ministry. If you enjoy today's message,
why don't you be a blessing and share it with
a friend. We appreciate you and pray for God's very
best in your life. God bless you. It's great to
be with you today. I hope you'll stay connected with
us during the week through our daily podcast, our YouTube channel,

(00:43):
social media. We'll keep it encouraged and inspired. I'd like
to start with something funny and I heard about this
elderly couple. They were having a terrible time with their memory.
They went to the doctor and he instructed them to
start writing down everything they'd been forgetting. The next night,
they were watching television. The wife said, I sure would

(01:03):
like a bowl of ice cream. Husband said, I'll go
get it for you. She said, honey, you know what
the doctor said. You better write it down. He said,
I'm just going to the kitchen. I'm not gonna forget it.
Came back a few minutes later, handed her a plate
of bacon and eggs. She shook her head, said I
should have known it. You forgot my toast. Say it

(01:24):
like you mean it. This is my Bible. I am
what it says I am. I have what it says
I have. I can do what it says I can do.
Today I will be taught the word of God. I
boldly confess my mind is alert, my heart is receptive.
I will never be the same. In Jesus' name, God
bless you. I want to talk to you today about

(01:47):
dealing with difficult people. I was going to title this
dealing with friends, family, and coworkers, because someone will be difficult.
Someone will get on your nerves. A coworker and it's jealous,
a neighbor that's rude, a relative that's not for you.
How you handle difficult people will determine how high you

(02:08):
will go. If you treat them the way they treat you,
then you'll get stuck. If they're disrespectful and you're disrespectful
back that will keep you from going further. The scripture
says you overcome evil with good. You never overcome disrespect
with more disrespect. You never get ahead doing to others

(02:30):
what they did to you. That's a test of your character.
God is seeing what he can trust you with. Will
you be the bigger person and overlook the insult? Will
you stay on the high road and not get baited
into conflict? You only have so much emotional energy each day.
It's not an unlimited supply. It takes a lot of

(02:51):
energy to get upset, to live offended, think about what
they said, try to straighten them out. That's energy you
need for your dream, to pursue your goals, to enjoy
your family. Don't spend it on things that don't matter.
You can't control how everyone treats you, but you can
control how you respond when someone is rude. You don't

(03:14):
have to get upset when they cut you off in traffic.
That doesn't have to ruin your morning. When a coworker
leaves you out. You can't control that, but you can
stay in peace knowing that God is fighting your battles.
When you take the high road, you'll not only enjoy
your life more, but you're showing God he can trust

(03:34):
you with more influence, with more favor. Don't go the
next twenty years letting the same things upset you. Same
co worker get on your nerves, same grumpy relative steal
your joy. They may not change, but here's the key.
You can change. Sometimes we've trained ourselves to respond a
certain way. If they say this, I'm gonna get upset.

(03:56):
If they leave me out, I'm going to lead them out.
If you're crazy, thee uncle makes fun of me again,
I'm going to tell him off. The problem is you're
letting them control you. If they perform a certain way,
it's going to sour your day. Why don't you take
the controls back? Jesus said, stop allowing yourself to get upset.

(04:17):
Someone can't make you get upset. You have to give
them permission to upset you. You have to make the choice.
I'm offended, I'm discouraged, I'm sour, and some people know
exactly what buttons they can push to get you bent
out of shape. Next time they push those buttons, just
smile say not this time. I'm staying in peace. I'm

(04:37):
going to enjoy this day. If someone is disrespectful, rude,
always finding fault. They have issues they haven't dealt with.
They end up with bitterness, anger, insecurity, bottled up on
the inside. Sometimes that poison will try to get off
on you. You have to stay on the offensive. They may

(04:58):
be rude, but I'm not taking debate. I'm staying calm.
I'm gonna be respectful despite how they treat me or
My boss celebrates everyone accept me. He gives others credit
for my work. I'm not gonna live sour. I'm not
working under people. I'm working under God. Well, Joel, If
I always take the high road, people will take advantage

(05:19):
of me. I'll look weak. I have to stand up
for myself. You never go wrong by taking the high road.
You never lose out when you're kind, when you're overlooking offense,
when you choose to stay in peace. The scripture says,
when you're good to your enemies, it's like keeping coals
of fire on their head. He would think if we'd

(05:41):
treat our enemies the way they treated us, that'd be
good payback. They talk bad about me, I'm gonna talk
bad about them. They leave me out, I'm gonna leave
them out. If she's rude to me, too, can play
at that game, or be rude to her. That feels
good to our flesh to let them have it. But
you never come out ahead by doing to others what

(06:02):
they did to you. The real way you see favor
increase is you bless your enemies. When you're good to
those that are not good to you, not only will
you rise higher, but God will deal with those who
are not treating you right. He knows how to heat
coals of fire, how to put pressure, how to make
them think differently about you. Several times in the scripture

(06:25):
it refers to the believer as an eagle. Isaiah said,
you will mount up with wings like an eagle. It's
significant that God chose an eagle. An eagle can fly
higher than just about any other bird. They've spotted eagles
at thirty thousand feet in the air, up where the
big jets fly. I read where a crow is a

(06:47):
natural pest to the eagle. Although the eagle is bigger
and stronger, the crow is more agile. It can turn quicker,
maneuver faster, sometimes to annoy the eagle. The crow will
fall right behind the eagle, just pestering it, trying to
cause it trouble. The eagle could turn around and try
to fight, think I'm bigger than this crow. I'm gonna

(07:10):
show him who I am. Instead, when the eagle is
tired of dealing with the crow, it doesn't try to
out maneuver it, moving left and right. It simply starts
flying higher and higher. The crow can't go where the
eagle can go. It can't handle that high of an altitude.
Eventually it will fall away. In life, there will always

(07:34):
be some crows. You may work with crows. You may
have neighbors that are crows. You may be sitting by
a crow. Just laugh and they won't know it. But
there will always be people. They can get on your nerves.
They feel like it's their calling in life to annoy you,
irritate you, push your buttons. That will continue to happen

(07:55):
as long as you're staying down at their level. You'll
get upset, be baited into conflict, live offended. You have
to realize you're an eagle. The way you get rid
of crows is not engaging with them, but by going
up higher. Don't pay attention to what they're saying. Quit
reading the negative comments. Don't let that offense get down

(08:17):
in your spirit. If you do, you'll get drawn into conflict.
You're an eagle. You're not supposed to be fighting with crows.
You're not supposed to be upset with some chickens pecking around,
dealing with things that don't matter. Quit being frustrated by
the turkeys, people that don't understand you, people that make
a lot of noise, trying to steal your piece. Those

(08:39):
are distractions, trying to get you off course, wasting time
and energy that you need to pursue your goals. You
can't stop the crows from crowing. You can't stop the
chickens from pecking, the people being rude, the offense, the disrespect,
that grouchy neighbor, that critical coworker. That you can spread

(09:01):
your wings and rise higher. You don't have to get
engaged in those petty things that don't matter. You were
created to sore, designed to do big things, to leave
your mark, to be a history maker. Don't waste your
valuable time dealing with crows. It will always be people
that don't understand you, people that are not for you,

(09:23):
that try to hinder your calling. Yes, they'll say hurtful things,
try to make you look bad and put you at
a disadvantage. Human nature is to get in there and fight.
Straighten them out, show them what they're made of. Don't
take de bait. That's a distraction. They don't control your destiny.
They didn't breathe life into you. They didn't choose you

(09:45):
before you were formed in your mother's womb. What they
say cannot stop your purpose. Don't give it the time
of day, Ignore it and move forward. You know what
will happen. The crows will fall away. They can't hang
with you, they can't go where you going. God put
greatness in you. There's a lot of negative chatter these days.

(10:05):
To all the social media and ways to communicate, people
can express their opinions so easily, say things that are derogatory.
Try to discredit you. The only power that has is
the power you give it. If you let it get
in you, you start dwelling on it, that will poison
your spirit. Over time, it will change who you are.

(10:28):
You'll become defensive. Try to prove to people you're okay.
You're not what they said. You're giving them your power.
You're engaged in a battle that you're not supposed to
be in. The crows are going to crow. Make a
lot of noise. The chickens are going to peck. There's
going to be gossip, jealousy, criticism. People will have plenty

(10:49):
of opinions about how you were to run your life,
what you should wear, what you spend your money on,
how you should raise your children. Successful people are so
focused on their goals, their dreams, they don't pay attention
to the crows. Quit letting that poison get in your spirit.
You have a destiny to fulfill. God has given you

(11:11):
the gift of life. He could have chosen anyone to
be here at this time, but he chose you and me.
Let's make the most of this day. How much time
are you wasting offended, upset, letting difficult people steal your joy.
It's time to get focused, tune out all the negative,
and run your race with purpose. Second Kings, Chapter two,

(11:34):
Elisha was traveling from Jericho to Bethel. As he was
walking down the road, these young men came out and
started making fun of him because he was bald. They
said in verse twenty three, get out of here, you bald,
had mocking him again and against in the scripture, go
away baldy. Elisha could have been upset. Offended, he and

(11:57):
his men were bigger, stronger. He could have got over
there and straighten them out, but he didn't take the bait.
He said, in effect, I'm going to stay in peace
and let God fight my battles. He understood they were
just a bunch of crows making a lot of noise,
trying to get him distracted, engaged in battles that didn't matter.

(12:18):
He kept on going. As he walked on, two bears
suddenly came out of the woods and mauled all forty
two boys that were making fun of him. When you
let God be your vindicator, he'll take care of who's
trying to stop you. He'll deal with the disrespect, the jealousy,
people that are doing you're wrong. You're an eagle. Don't

(12:41):
come down and fight battles that don't matter. You keep soaring,
keep doing the right thing, and God will deal with
the crows, the chickens, the turkeys. All that negative chatter
is just noise. He cannot stop your destiny. So forty
five says God has anointed us with the oil of joy.

(13:01):
When you walk in your anointing, there's an oil on
you to where nothing can stick. You're like a teflon
pan disrespect will come. People will say hurtful things. The
good news is you have a no stick anointing. You
can let that go and it'll slide right off of you,
not have any effect. That coworker leads you out plays politics.

(13:24):
You could be offended, upset, but you have the oil
of joy. You just let it go. Someone's rude to you,
jumps down your throat. You could be rude back to them,
give them a piece of your mind, but like that
teflon pan, it slides right off. You go on and
enjoy the day. You weren't created to hold on to things, offense, disrespect,

(13:47):
hurtful words. Next time something happens that could upset you,
instead of responding the same way, try a different approach. Father,
thank you that I've been anointed with the oil of joy.
I'm going to stay peace. I'm going to focus on
my goals, knowing that you are fighting my battles. You
can't get rid of the difficult people, but if you'll

(14:08):
respond the right way, they won't keep you from having
a blessed, productive, fever filled day. Are you letting things
upset you that don't have to upset you? Are you
giving away your power letting what people do determine whether
or not you're going to be happy. You need to
take control back of your happiness. Quit putting it in

(14:30):
someone else's hands. If you're counting on everyone to treat
you nice and be kind, say good things, then you're
going to be happy. You're giving them your power. You
control your happiness. You have to make up your mind
no matter what people do, no matter what they say,
how they treat you, they're not going to steal your joy.

(14:51):
They may not want to be happy, but they shouldn't
keep you from being happy. They may be rude, angry, disrespectful,
but you can't let their issues sore your day. Be
like that teflon pan. Let it bounce off of you
and enjoy your day despite what they do. I was
at an electronic store to buy some parts for our

(15:12):
television equipment. This was back when I worked behind the
scenes in production here at Lakewood, and the parts were
in the back. The staff had to get them for you.
I had done this many times before. The man at
the counter was on the phone. He wasn't in any
hurry to get off. He could see me standing there,
but he talked about fifteen minutes. I waited patiently. Eventually

(15:34):
he hung up, and I thought he would acknowledge me
and see what I needed, but he never looked up. Finally,
I asked if he could help me. You would have
thought I had just insulted him. He said so gruffly,
very aggravated. What do you need? I asked him for
this certain part. He looked at it and said, we
don't carry that. We never have. I told him how

(15:56):
I had purchased it there many times before his face.
He's got real red. Smoke started coming out of his ears.
He looked like he's about to explode. He used several
curse words and said, I told you I don't have it. Now,
don't ask me for it again. I wanted to say,
I'll ask you as many times as I feel like
ask him. I'll call you in the middle of the

(16:16):
night if I want to, but I noticed he was
bigger than me, so I just smiled, said, no problem,
just to have a nice day. Didn't mean it, but
at least I said it. I had to make this choice.
Was I going to let his poison get in me,
pollute my day, sour my attitude, spend my emotional energy. Upset, aggravated,

(16:38):
or was I going to be a tephlon pan, have
that no stick annoying, let all that disrespect, the anger
of the poison slide right off of me. I decided
to let it go. You can't stop people from dumping
their garbage, but you can keep your lid on. You
don't have to let all their trash get in you.
Sometimes we have unrealistications. We think we'll have a good

(17:02):
day as long as we don't encounter any rude people,
as long as our family says nice things, as long
as our co workers perform perfectly, then we'll stay in peace.
That's not reality. Difficult people are all around. There will
be someone that can steal your joy, get you offended,
leave you out, say something that's not true. The key

(17:24):
is not trying to avoid it. It's to handle it
the right way. Don't take the bait, don't let the
offense stay, don't dwell on the negative comments, keep yourself
oiled up to where you don't let anything stick. This
is how you live happy, not by avoiding difficult people,
but by not taking their garbage, by not responding to

(17:47):
them the way they treated you. It's by being an eagle,
by rising higher than the offense, the hurt, the jealousy.
When God can trust you to do the right thing
when it's hard, there's no limit to how high he
will take you. There was a man walking down the
street with his friend to get a newspaper. When they

(18:07):
arrived at the corner store, the clerk in the small
newsstand was very cold, inconsiderate, not friendly at all. The
man bought the paper and said politely, I hope you
have a great day. As they walked away, his friend said,
is that clerk always that rude? The man said yes,
every morning. He said, well, are you always that nice

(18:30):
to him? The man said yes, every morning. The friend
looked puzzled and said why. The men said, I've made
up my mind. I'm not going to let one person
ruin my day like him. You have to have a
made up mind. You're not going to let one negative
comment ruin your day. You're not going to let a

(18:50):
disrespectful coworker, a classmate that's making fun of you, a
driver that cuts you off in traffic to sour your day.
Decide ahead of time, put on the oil of joy
whatever comes my way. Negative comments, disrespect rude people, that's
going to slide right off of me. How much more
will you enjoy your life if you will have this

(19:12):
no stick anointing. You can't control what people do. They
want to be offensive, rude, hard to get along with.
That's their choice. But you can control how you respond.
The most powerful thing you can do is let it
slide right off. Don't give it the time of day,
don't think about it anymore, don't relive it. Don't go

(19:34):
call your friends, tell them what they said. Keep your
heart pure, save your emotional energy, to live this day
to the full, to pursue your dreams, to love your family,
to be good to your neighbors. When someone is rude,
they're offensive, don't take that personally. It's not about you.

(19:55):
It's their own struggles on the inside. They don't like themselves.
That's why they don't like you. They're upset over things
that have nothing to do with you. You just happened
to enter their story when they're blowing off steam. Stay
oiled up and move on. None of that will stop
your destiny unless you get distracted and start fighting battles

(20:17):
that don't matter, trying to pay people back instead of
letting God be your vindicator. This is what David did.
First Samuel twenty five. David and his men had been
living out in the countryside. They were on the run
from King Saul. A man named Nabel lived in the
city of Carmel, not far from David. He was very wealthy,

(20:39):
thousands of sheeps goats. But verse three says Nabel was
a mean man. He was dishonest and hard to get
along with. David and his army had been protecting Nabel's
property by just being there. They were very powerful. They
could have taken the flocks, got rid of his shepherds,
but they were good to Nabel. It was time for

(21:00):
shearing the sheep the harvest season, so David sent messengers
to Nabel asking for food. Since they had been protecting
his family and flocks, he would think Mabel would be
grateful he had these men watching after him. But Nabel
was very rude. He said, who is this man, David?
I never asked him to do anything for me. I

(21:21):
don't owe him a penny. Tell him to forget it.
I'm not going to give him anything. When David heard that,
it set him off. He didn't think about the oil
of Joy. He didn't sing the psalm. He wrote, this
is the day the Lord has made Let's be glad.
He was furious. He told his men pack up, We're
going to go take care of Nabel. He said, as

(21:42):
surely as I live, not one of Nabel's family members
will be alive by this time tomorrow. David was offended, angry.
He wasn't going to let Nabel get by with insulting him.
And yes, there are times we're supposed to fight. We
need to take action. David fought Goliath, but you have
to make sure that battle is between you and your destiny.

(22:06):
If not, it's a distraction. David was so wrought up
in his emotions he didn't realize this wasn't a battle
he was supposed to fight. How many times are we
fighting battles? Because like David, we're offended, we're upset they
did us wrong. But that wasn't a battle between us
and our destiny. It was just our flesh getting riled up,

(22:30):
wanting to take matters into our own hands. We were
supposed to let it slide off, not dwell on it
and trust God to be our vindicator. Here's how merciful
God is. David was headed toward Nabel's house full speed ahead,
about to make a mistake that would hinder his destiny.
Nabel's wife was a lady named Abigail. She was a

(22:52):
wise woman. She loaded up two hundred loaves of bread,
two hundred bottles of wine, five hundred cakes, and headed
out to meet David. When she saw him, she bowed
down low and said, David, my husband is a fool.
He's hard headed, hot tempered, dishonest. He shouldn't have insulted you.

(23:12):
I brought you these gifts hoping you'll forgive him. She
went on to say, David, you are called to be
the king of Israel. Why would you even fight with
this fool? Why would you waste your time with this
stubborn man. Don't let this needless battle be a blemish
on your record. She spoke wisdom into David. She was saying, David,

(23:34):
look at who you are. You're the next king. God
is going to entrust you with an enduring dynasty, but
you're about to blow it taking revenge on this fool.
David came to his senses. He said, Abigail, the Lord
God of Israel, surely has sent you to meet today,
for if you had not kept me from carrying out

(23:55):
vengeance with my own hands. Not one of your family
members would be alive. We're all going to encounter Nabeles
in life. People that are rude, hard to get along with. Offensive.
I'll ask you what Abigail asked David. Why are you
fighting with a fool? Why are you in conflict with
someone that's not going anywhere? Why are you upset with

(24:18):
that person that cuts you off in traffic? You don't
even know? Then, why are you offended at that coworker.
They're not between you and your destiny. They can't stop
what God has planned for you, so they don't like you.
They made negative comments, they left you out. That's a test.
You can't reach your destiny without difficult people. Don't get distracted,

(24:41):
baited into conflict in battles that don't matter. Be like
that teflon pan. Don't let any of it stick. God
has an awesome future for you. But the enemy will
work overtime, like with David, to try to get you distracted, offended,
trying to pay people back. Don't take the bank. Abigail

(25:01):
came back home the next morning told her husband what
she had done. When he heard it, Nabel had a
stroke became paralyzed. Ten days later. He died. Abigail was
a beautiful woman. David didn't waste any time he sent
word asking her to become his wife. She agreed, when
you let God fight your battles, you'll come out better

(25:24):
than you were before. I'm not saying you're going to
get an extra wife, but he'll make it up to you.
But if it hadn't been for Abigail, if she had
not stopped David from acting on his emotions, we might
not be talking about David. If you let people get
you upset, offended, where you're focused on paying them back,

(25:45):
you can miss your destiny. Maybe today i'm your Abigail.
Maybe God sent me to remind you to not let
difficult people bait you into conflict, steal your joy, cause
you to live frustrated, spending energy on things that don't matter.
You can't get away from the Nabels. You may pray

(26:06):
one away, Nabel Junior will show up tomorrow. You have
to make up your mind that difficult people are not
going to control you. You're not going to let them
offend you. Upset, you push your buttons, turn those buttons off,
stay in peace. Time is short. We're not always going
to be here. Don't waste another minute fighting with crows,

(26:29):
arguing with chickens, debating with turkeys. Be an eagle, start
rising above that. If you'll do this, I'll believe and
declare You're not only going to enjoy your life more,
but God will take care of your nables. You're going
to see vindication, promotion, favor, breakthroughs, new levels of your
destiny in Jesus' name, and if you receive it, can

(26:53):
you say amen? I'd like to give you an opportunity
to make Jesus the Lord of your life. Would you
pray with me? Just say, Lord, Jesus, I repent of
my sins, Come into my heart. I make you my
Lord and Savior. If you've prayed that simple prayer, we

(27:13):
believe you got born again. We'd love to send you
some information on your walk with the Lord. Just text
the number. You can go to the website. But I
hope you'll get into a good Bible based church and
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(27:35):
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