Joel Osteen - Stop Counting on People

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Well, God bless you. It's great to be with you today,
and I hope you'll stay connected with us during the
week through our daily podcast, our YouTube channel, and social media,
and you can come visit us in person. We'd love
to have you be a part of one of our services.
I like to talk with something funny, and somebody sent
me this funny thought and I kind of liked it.
But here's how it goes. In the beginning, God created

(00:24):
the earth and rested. Then God created man and rested.
Next God created women, and since then neither God nor
Man has rested. A lady asked my father one time.
She said, where would you men be without us women?
My father smiled and said, in the garden of Eden,

(00:46):
say it like you mean it. This is my Bible.
I am what it says. I am. I have what
it says I have. I can do what it says
I can do. Today I will be taught the word
of God. I boldly confess my mind is alert, my
heart is receptive. I will never be the same. In
Jesus' name, God bless you. I want to talk to

(01:09):
you today about not counting on people. Sometimes we're getting
our worth and value from how people treat us. If
they're kind and compliment us, invite us to their event,
acknowledge our gifts, then we'll feel good about ourselves. We
have their approval, their validation, and it's great when people

(01:30):
are for us and make us feel valuable. But the
problem with counting on people is people can change. People
can get busy, people can become jealous. People can be discouraged.
They can't keep you cheered up. They have their own issues.
They never compliment themselves. They're probably not going to compliment you,

(01:52):
and instead of looking to people, you have to go
to God. No matter how much someone loves you and
how much they want the best for you, they can't
give you everything you need. They can't always be there
to cheer you up, keep you encourage, feeling confident. Let
them off the hook. That's a lot of pressure for
someone to know. They have to keep you fixed. They

(02:15):
have to compliment you three times a day, tell you
how great you are, how you're gonna make it. They
want the best for you, but at some point they'll
let you down. They're human. God never designed us to
get that all from people, but from Him, and yes,
he'll use people, but don't be surprised when he pulls

(02:35):
that back and you don't get from them what you
used to. He's teaching you to depend on him and
not their approval, their compliments, their encouragement, because that's temporary,
that's dependent on what's going on in their life. And
sometimes the acceptance, the approval we're longing for from people,

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they don't have it to give. Nobody gave it to
them the way you want them to love you, respect you,
and make you feel important. They never saw that growing up.
Nobody put that in them. Are you trying to get
something from someone that they don't have to give? Trying
to convince that coworker to acknowledge just one time, that

(03:18):
you're talented, that you have good ideas, or that family
member to accept you, include you, make you feel welcome.
No matter what you do, it's like your secondary not
good enough. No, stop counting on people to give you
something they don't have. They love you, sure, they're a
good person. If they had it, they would give it.

(03:40):
Try a different approach. God, I know you accept me,
you approve me, You call me a masterpiece. You said
I can do all things through Christ. Get your approval
from Almighty God. Sometimes We're trying to get something from
a person that's never going to give it, not because
they can't give it, but they don't want to. They're

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never going to be for us, never show us respect,
never acknowledge our gifts. That's okay. Everyone is not supposed
to be for you. If you don't realize this, you'll
get stuck trying to change people's mind thinking I got
to win them over and prove that I'm a good person,
convince them that they're wrong about me. All that's going

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to do is frustrate you, cause you to live stressed.
You have to let it go and move forward. You
don't need their approval, well, Joe, they don't respect me,
You don't need their respects. They don't acknowledge my gifts.
You don't need their acknowledgement. You know what. They are
a distraction. The enemy would love for you to waste

(04:46):
your time trying to change something that you can't change,
living stressed over someone that doesn't really matter. They cannot
stop your destiny. Them not being for you doesn't let
and your value, not recognizing your talent, downplaying your accomplishments,
treating you like your inferior. That doesn't change the fact

(05:09):
that you're a masterpiece, that you have seeds of greatness,
that you're wearing a crown of favor. Why are you
wasting time trying to get something from someone that they're
never going to give. Jesus told his disciples, when you
go into a city and they don't accept your message,
they don't welcome you. He didn't say, stay there and

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try to convince him to change. Tell them how good
you are, how sincere prove your talent. No, he said,
shake the dust off your feet and move on. He
was saying, don't waste another minute trying to convince people
to like you, respects you, includes you come see you.

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We spend too much time trying to win people over
that are never going to be for us, trying to
get something that they're never and to give. And this
can be difficult, especially when his people close to us.
We long for approval from our relatives and the people
we look up to. But think about David in the scripture.

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His father didn't really believe in him. He discounted him
and left him out in the shepherd's fields. When Samuel
came to annoint one of the sons as the next king,
he thought David. It's not him. He's too small, too young,
He's not as talented as his brothers. David could have
lived bitter, upset, trying to convince his father to change

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his mind, but he shook it off and moved forward.
When he took lunch to his brothers, they were in
the army in another city, and he was being kind,
doing them a favor. The oldest brother, Eliab, belittled him
in front of the other soldiers. He said, David, what
are you doing here? And what did you do with

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those few sheep you're supposed to be taken care of?
To make David feel small and insignificant, You would think
his brother would say, David, thanks for coming so far,
thanks for being so kind and generous. But people may
not give you what you deserve. Sometimes they don't have it,
it's just not in them. Other Times they're jealous, competitive,

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or they're bitter from things that have nothing to do
with you. It's easy to try to defend and prove
and win over because we want people's approval, But what
if you knew they were never going to give it.
If you became Superman, you are the greatest, kindest, most loving,
talented person. Ever, yet they're still going to discredit, dismiss,

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downplay who you are. It's much better to do what
Jesus said, shake the dust off and move on. Be kind,
be respectful, but don't try to win their approval. You
don't need it. They're a distraction. When that brother dis
respected David, the scripture says David turned and walked away.

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His attitude was, I don't need your respect. You don't
have to believe in me. You don't control my destiny.
But had David tried to change Iliev's mind and convince
him that he was good and talented, I'm not what
you think, he would have been so distracted arguing trying
to win him over, that he wouldn't have heard Goliath

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up on the mountain. Don't miss your assignment, trying to
convince people to be for you that are never going
to be for you, fighting battles that don't matter. Shake
the dust off and move forward. When my father went
to be with the Lord and I stepped up to
pastor the church, there was a man that had been
close to our family and had been here for many years.

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He called and told me how happy he was for me.
Then he went on to tell me how to run
the church, how to lead the staff, and who to hire,
and what I should speak on and the changes I
should make. He was very opinionated and very strong. I
was very insecure and very quiet. But something on the

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inside rose up like a lion. I didn't say anything
to him, but I thought, you are not going to
squeeze me into your mold. I may look weak, but
you have another thing coming. And he was for me
as long as I was doing what he wanted. He
gave me his approval, as long as I was in
his box. The problem was I didn't like anything he

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told me. It didn't bear witness to my spirits. I
had to decide, am I going to do what God's
called me to do? Or am I going to try
to please this man and say in his good grace?
And I knew if I did what God put in
my heart, he'd get upset, he'd be offended. He looked
down on me. But the scripture says it is better

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to please God God than to please people. When we
come to the end of life, we're not gonna stand
before people. We're gonna stand before God. And I didn't
take his advice. I went the way I felt in
my heart, and he was upset. But I've learned if
you try to keep everyone else happy, you're gonna be
unhappy to fulfill your assignment. There will be people that

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don't approve, don't accept, misunderstand. You can't worry about all that.
I knew he was never going to give me his approval.
He was never gonna before me. But that's okay. I
didn't need his approval. I didn't need him to cheer
me on. If I had done it his way, here's
what I know, it would have never been enough. Take

(10:45):
the pressure off. You don't need people's applause. Do what
God put in your heart, and you'll hear his applause.
He's the one that matters. Promotion doesn't come from people.
It comes from God. And the funny thing and all
credit to God. But the church grew and we moved
here into the Compact Center, and I've had books, media

(11:07):
go out all over. He never wants acknowledged this, He
never wants callback and said, Joel, I'm so proud of you.
It's amazing what God is that. My point is he
was never really for me. He was for manipulating me,
controlling me. If you don't do what I want, I'm
not gonna give you my approval. I'm not gonna respect you.

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Do yourself a favor. Shake that dust off and move on.
Quit worrying about if you're gonna fall out of someone's
good grace trying to get something that they're never going
to give, or if they do give it, it's gonna
be conditionals. As long as you stay in my box,
then I'll approve you. You don't need them. There are distractions.

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If you're not aware, you'll waste time and energy trying
to win them over, letting people manipulate you, being frustrated.
Life is too short to live that way. You have
a destiny to fulfill. There was a man in the
scripture named Hayman. He was a high ranking official in
the Persian Empire, the right hand man of King Erksees.

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He had this prominent position, working daily with the king,
and when he walked out of the palace, people would
bow down to show their respect. That was their tradition.
But there was a Jewish man named Mordecai that wouldn't
bow down. He would only vow to Jehovah. Well, everywhere
Hayman went, people would show their respect. Walking down the

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street or going to a restaurant in the city square,
people were constantly acknowledging Hayman, showing him honor. You would
think he wouldn't worry about Mordecai. Now, given the time
of day, one person won't bow big deal, hundreds of
others do. But Verse five says when Haman saw that

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Mordecai would not kneel down or pay him honor, he
was filled with rage. He was furious, not because someone
tried to harm his child, steal his funds, take his positions,
all because one man wouldn't show respect. He was so angry,
so offended. Verse six says he decided it was not

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enough to just get rid of Mordecai alone, but he
was going to annihilate all the Jewish people. Was so
consumed trying to get something from Mordecai that Mordecai was
never going to give that. He got distracted, lost his focus.
Now he's not just upset with Mordecai, He's going to
try to wipe out tens of thousands of people because

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one man won't show him respect. When you look at
it from the big picture, it's almost comical. You're going
to upend your whole life. Take these drastic measures because
one man has offended you, one person won't to prove
you won't celebrate your positions. And the fact is Mordecai

(14:08):
not bowing down wouldn't have stopped Hayman's destiny. He could
have ignored it, thought I don't need his respect. He
doesn't control my purpose. But it was a trick to
get him off course, engaged in a battle that didn't matter,
trying to get something from someone that they were never
going to give. How many of us are doing like Hayman,

(14:31):
so focused on what someone won't give us, Joel. They
won't approve me, they don't show me respect, they won't
compliment me, they don't invite me to their gathering, they
don't recognize my talent. We can get so set on
changing them, fixing them, proving to them that we get
distracted and miss our assignments. You don't need their respect,

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You don't need them to be for you. It may
be someone close to you, relative, a coworker. It should
compliment you, It should be grateful and show your respect.
You deserve it. You have the position, You've been good
to them, but you can't make people give you something,
make them like you, make them before you. That's a test.

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Are you going to get distracted trying to get something
that they're never going to give? Live upset, trying to
pay them back, change their mind? Do like David, turn
and walk away. Don't pay it any attention. If you
needed their respect, their validation, their support, you would have it.

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God is not going to withhold any good thing you need.
If they're withholding it, they can't stand against God. The
right attitude is I don't need it. Yes, I wish
I had it, but God, I'm not depending on what
people give or don't give. My trust is in you.
I get my value, my word, my encouragement from you. Well,

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Queen Esther was a Jew, and she heard a Hayman's
plan to destroy her people, and she asked the king
if he would have dinner with her and Haman. She
was going to tell him about this plot. Well, Hayman
was so happy he is being honored by the king.
Verse ten says he gathered his friends in his home

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and bragged about his wealth, the honors the king had
given him, and how he had been promoted over the
other leaders. How Queen Esther had invited him to a
private banquet, which is her, And the king was so excited,
feeling good about himself. Then he said the next verse,
but all this is meaningless to me as long as

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I see Mordecai sitting there at that palace games. He
had all these great things going for him, position, influence, friends, honor,
but one man wouldn't show him respect, one man wouldn't
give him what he wanted. Instead of letting it go,
shaking the dust off, he stayed focused on it. He thought,

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I gotta fix Mordecai. If it's the last thing I do.
You know it was the last thing he did. He
lost his life trying to get something from someone that
they were never gonna give. And I realized this was
the plan of God to save the Jews. But look
at the principles. When you get so focused on trying

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to get something from someone that doesn't want to give it,
or perhaps they don't have it to give, then you'll
get distracted trying to prove and convince and payback. Do
yourself a favor. If you don't get it, shake it off.
You don't need it quick counting on people to give
you what only God can give, go to him for

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your approval, your validation, your work, because I can promise
you there will always be someone that doesn't give you
what you want, what you deserve, what they should. These
are tests. We can get offended like Haymen, get distracted
and try to win them over, change their mind, or

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we can do like David and turn and walk away.
A friend of mine grew up in a single parent
home and at five years old, his father walked out
of his life and wouldn't have anything to do with
the family or him. As a child, he longed to
see his father and long for the approval, but the

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dad wouldn't return his mother's calls. As a teenager, he
would send his father's letters, father day cards, birthday cards,
hoping for some kind of reply, but nothing. The Psalmist said,
God will be a father to the fatherlessen. Sometimes people
don't give us what they should. Children should have love

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and acceptance, approval from their parents, but life can happen
around They never got it as a child, and they
don't know how to give it. This. Young men never
got offended, didn't grow up bitter and trying to prove
the people he was okay. His mother was always reminding

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him how he was made in the image of God
and that he was a masterpiece, approved and accepted by
his heavenly father. Thirty years old, his father reached out
and said he wanted to see him. My friend took
his two little girls, flew to a different city and
showed up at the house. The wife opened the door
and said, I'm so sorry, but your dad has changed

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his mind. He doesn't want to see you after all.
You can imagine how heartbreaking discouraging finally got his hopes
up going to get approval from his father. But it
never happened. Some people, it's not that they don't want to,
they just don't have it to give. He learned it
his father had been abandoned as a child. There were

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all these wounds and hurts that he had never dealt with.
The amazing thing is, my friend is one of the
most happy, kind, generous, talented people that you will ever meet.
His children are now grown and successful. You would never
know that he didn't have a great upbringing. It's because
he learned to go to God and not to people.

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Get your value, your work, your approval from your heavenly father.
Because if you're trying to get it from people. You
can be disappointed, people can let you down. People have
issues things that they didn't get. It's easy to find
fault man. Why wasn't I raised in a better environment?
Why won't my spouse encourage me more? Why won't my

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friend acknowledge my accomplishments? Why don't they give me credit?
It's almost like they owe me something. I'm expecting you
to give me. This. A better way to live is
nobody owes me anything. My heavenly father takes care of me.
If not, we're depending on people to keep us happy,
our spouse to cheer us up, our friend to make

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us feel valued. And this coworker needs to show me
respect so I feel good about myself. Let him off
the hook. Quit going to people, and start going to God.
Two Timothy four the apostle Paul was talking about opposition
and things that had come against him, and he said,
in verse ten, Demus has forsaken me and gone to

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another city. Someone he was counting on left him. Verse fourteen.
Alexander the Coppersmith did me great wrong, but the Lord
will repay him. Verse sixteen. At my trial, no one
came to support me. Everyone deserted me, but The Lord
stood by my side and gave me strength. The Lord

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will rescue me from every attack. The Lord will bring
me safely through. Look at all the times people letting down,
walked away and weren't loyal. He could have been bitter,
why did this happen? Trying to pay them back? But
every time someone did him wrong, he said, the Lord
will help me. The Lord will pay me back. The

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Lord will rescue me. The Lord will bring me safely through.
He wasn't depending on people. He was depending on God.
If he was counting on people, he would have been
discouraged and given up. Demus left him his main man.
He'd been good to Demus, He mentored him, but he abandoned.
Paul went to another city. At his trial, no one

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came to support him. His whole staff, friends, followers, people
he had been good too. Sorry, Paul, you're on your own.
There will be these times that people can't give you
what you need. They're good people, but they're busy, they're tired.
When you need them, they can't make it. Don't get bitter,

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don't try to make them feel guilty. Look at all
I've done for you. If they can't give you what,
you're lofing looking for the support, the encouragement, the validation.
You don't need it from them. As you mature, as
you grow, God will wean you off of what you
used to have. Like a mother takes away a bottle

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so the baby can grow and eat real food. God
will take away what a person is giving you so
you won't be dependent on them. You don't need a crutch,
you don't need someone to always keep you fixed, cheer
it up, motivate. That's good for a season, but you
have to learn to get that from God and not people.

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Because one of your people may be a Demus. You
thought I was going to say a demon. A Demus.
Maybe that too, Demus left you when you really needed him,
or a Peter. He said, Jesus, I'll always be with you.
You can count on me. But when the soldier showed up,
he denied that he knew Jesus or a king. Saul

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he invited David to place. He was all for him,
until David started getting more attention, more favored. He killed
a giant. Now Saul was throwing spears, jealous, trying to
take David out. That's why you can't count on people.
They can change it's great when they give you the support,

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the love, the compliments. Sure, God will have people that
are there for you like that, loyal kind, amazing, but
sometimes God pulls them back. You have to recognize what's happening.
You're growing up. God's getting you prepared to go to
new levels. Where you're going. You can't depend on people.
It's between you and God. Second Samuel David told his

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staff that he wanted to take a census and see
how many people they had, but God told David specifically
to not count the people. One of the commanders said, David,
we can't take a census. You know. God instructed us
not to do it. David insisted. They ended up doing it.
But it's interesting that God didn't want them to count.

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God counted the people when he fed the five thousand,
five loaves and two fish. He had them sit in
groups of fifty. God counted Gideon's men, said you've got
too many. The scripture says God counts the number of
hair on our head. It wasn't so much that God
didn't want David to count the people. He didn't want
David to count on the people. He didn't want him

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to rely on the numbers and on. Do they like me?
Do they respect me? Are they for me? Don't count
on that, because sooner or later a demus will share. Well,
I saw a Mordecai that won't give you what you want.
If you're counting on people, you'll get distracted trying to
win them over it, discourage because they won't do what

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you want. Are you trying to get something from someone
that's never going to give it? Like Haymen, frustrating yourself
trying to convince this person to like you, respect you,
approve you. Take the pressure off. You don't need their approval.
Don't lose your focus trying to get from them what
God can give. They don't have to be for you.

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Their disrespect will not keep you from slaying giants, from
taking thrones, from setting new standards. They don't control your destiny.
Quit counting on the people and go to God. If
you'll do this, I believe and declare, God is going
to strengthen you. Favor you, fight your battles. You will
rise higher, accompass dreams, and become all you were created

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to be. In Jesus's name. And if you receive it,
can you say amen? I'd like to give you an
opportunity to make Jesus the Lord of your life. What'd
you pray with me? Just say, Lord, Jesus, I repent
of my sins. Come into my heart. I make you
my Lord and savior. If you've prayed that simple prayer,

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we believe you born again and we'd love to send
you some free information on your new walk with the Lord.
You can text the number on the screen or go
to the website. But I hope you'll get into a
good Bible based church and keep God first place.