Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
And what are you doing here? Oh? All right? Did
he not tell you that he's not going to be
back for a while. I mean, I don't know, maybe
another hour or two at least. I mean he went
(00:28):
on to get some food, and when you came over,
I assumed that he want a text to you or something, right, Oh,
your phone instead? Do you need a charger or anything?
I can give you mind if you want, Yeah, just
come on in. I promise, there's no problem at all.
(00:52):
I'll grab it for you and yeah, there you go.
How about you don't lose at this time? Okay? You know,
I remember last time I let you borrow my charger,
you lost it and we had to look all over
the house to find it. I don't care how long
(01:12):
ago it was. I never forget. Okay, and you know
those chargers aren't cheap. Yeah, let me take your coat
for you. No, no, it's not any trouble at all,
I promise, And speaking up. You remember back when we
(01:36):
were in school. I remember you had the biggest crush
on me and used to come over and I would
always offer to do things for you, and you'd blush
so hard, and it was always like you thought you
were hiding it, but you never were, and there you are.
(01:58):
You still are bright. I mean, it wasn't that long ago,
but we were just stupid kids. And that's not like
you still have a crush on me. We're a lot
older now and things have moved on. But you know,
(02:22):
the more I talk that radder and redder you get.
You kind of look like a tomato so cute. I'm sorry,
I I won't laugh at you. Well, hey, since we're
both here, and since my brother likes to take forever
(02:44):
to get food, do you want to watch something? We
can watch a movie or just to show some YouTube
video if you want. All right, and what do you
want to watch? Huh? It's my pick? Are you sure
(03:05):
about that? I don't think you should be asking me
what I want to watch because my brother always says
I have a horrible taste. All right, Well, don't say
I didn't warn you. Okay, how about we watch Kung
(03:27):
Fu Panda? Now? Do you remember why you shouldn't let
me ch you my kid's movie? But it's my favorite,
I swear. Did you know they're making a new one too.
I'm really excited to go watch it. Well it's too
(03:48):
late now, I've already chosen. So now you get over
here and you can watch it with me, and honestly,
you're end me of the good old days. It would
be you and me, and usually my brother didn't want
to watch it all. He was always playing games in
(04:10):
his room, but we would bundle up, put the blankets together,
and watch Gung Fu Banda over and over again. You
think that eventually you'd stop letting me pick the movies,
But here we are, years later, still watching the same
(04:31):
movie on the same exact couch. You know, I, I
know I was teasing you earlier, but do you ever
regret it. I don't mean to sound so dramatic, but
(04:51):
just back then, things seemed a lot easier. We were
younger and just felt like we could do anything, and
we were stupid kids, but everything felt so amazing, being
(05:12):
able to sit on the couch with you, just hanging out.
And then as we got older, you we started hanging
out more with my brother and I just went off
to college and we kind of broke aport. I just
kind of miss it, you know, I missed that feeling
(05:36):
I used to have. It felt like nothing mattered. We
were going to watch whatever we wanted, and we never
had to worry about what was going to happen tomorrow.
I know I haven't really spoken to you ever since
I left, but I'm sorry. Sorry for being a jerk
(06:01):
to you all the way back then. I know I
always poked fun at you. You are obviously so in
love with me, and I always teased you about it.
I would always just make fun of you, and I
guess I was kind of a jerk for playing it off.
(06:27):
I always thought you were joking, but I was scared.
I got distant because I was afraid of the truth,
and I was stupid, and I was an idiot. I
was just a high school girl, too afraid to know
what she wanted. I didn't know what to say, or
(06:49):
what to do or anything. I was just scared. I
didn't want to mess things up, and I didn't know
if it would be permanent or temporary, or maybe it
would ruin everything between us. And you know, you and
(07:11):
my brother and I we've we've been so close, all
three of us for so long, and you know, if
things went badly between us, then everything would be messed up.
I didn't want that to happen. I wanted to keep
you in my life, even if it meant I had
(07:35):
to act like I was just hating on you every
time you seemed like you liked me, teasing you for
your beet red cheeks. The truth is I I really
liked you too, but I was I was afraid. I
(07:58):
don't know why, but I was afraid that if we
started dating, I would mess everything up. I guess what
ended of happening was. I just messed everything up before
we even had the chance to date. And kind of ironic,
(08:20):
isn't it. I ruined it. I ruined everything, and I
really wish I could go back in time and redo
it all we do everything. I wouldn't have been so
mean to you, and I wouldn't have always made fun
(08:42):
of you. I wouldn't have acted like all of your
little secret confessions or just a joke. I just wish
I could I could turn back time and say sorry,
Sorry to the person that I hurt back then, sorry
(09:05):
to the person you are now. I just want to
hug you and hold you close, and I want to
tell you exactly I really felt. I I know I
probably shouldn't have brought any of this up. It's it's
(09:28):
just been between us for so long, and I haven't
seen you in so long, I I figured this might
be my only chance to tell you. I wanted to
tell you the truth. So I'm I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
(09:55):
I'm being honest. I love you. I love you so much,
and I have. I've loved you for a long time,
and I've been in denial for so long. I can't
even tell you why. I'm sorry. I was such an idiot.
(10:20):
I've loved you for so long, and I shouldn't have
been afraid. I should have just told you the truth
and everything could have been perfect between us. You know.
I wonder how different our lives would have been. And
(10:41):
I've been honest with you all those years ago if
I hadn't pretended. But I guess it's too nate now, right,
too late to turn back time. I just want to
make things right between us. Okay, So between you and me,
(11:07):
I'm being honest with you, and I don't want you
to tell my brother or anybody else. But I do
still love you, even when I pretended I did it,
and even today I pretend I don't, but I do.
(11:30):
I loved you when I love for college, and every
single day I hope maybe that you come with me.
I know you've always wanted to travel around and just
go anywhere you want. You probably wouldn't go to the
local college, but I wanted you there. It felt like
(11:53):
it could be a fresh start. You know, I can
in luck eyes with you for the first time, all
over it again, and we could have our own college romance.
We could leave everything behind. But maybe that was too
good to be true. I guess I would have been
(12:18):
better off just telling you everything. But in my mind
I just wanted to figure out a way to make
it all work somehow. But I guess now you know
right the secret sound and now things between you and
(12:40):
me are just awkward, aren't they. You don't think so well.
You came over to my house, you had no intention
of even seeing me. I guess you probably thought you
could play some games with my brother and have a
(13:03):
nice night. Now you're sitting next to your high school crush,
and she's confessing all of her feelings to you. I
guess anybody else in your situation just leave. It's probably
a lot to take in, isn't it. But I guess
(13:26):
everything's not completely over right unless you want it to
be over. We aren't in high school anymore, and you
could start all over again. I guess maybe we can't
(13:47):
tell my brother, not right now. Anyway, he'd definitely make
fun of me for dragging it out all this time.
He used to tease me about how you would act.
It's almost like he knew. Maybe he didn't know I
(14:07):
had feelings for you too. He was like a little wingman.
I wonder if you thought we would end up together.
I guess that's not completely off the table, isn't do
(14:28):
you think we could be together? And doesn't have to
be right now? Hi, I know all of this is
very sodid, but I miss you. I want to talk
to you more because it's been so long just being
(14:54):
able to hang out with you. We could watch movies again,
just have nights together. I guess when you have a sleepover.
It's a bit more weird when you're older, but you
can take things slow. We can catch up on life
(15:17):
and learn about each other again. I used to remember
all of the things you used to like. I remember
every time you'd bring snacks to glass. At one point
I was even considering bringing you some, and I almost
(15:40):
got some for tonight too, But I was honestly scared.
I was scared that maybe you would reject me, maybe
you would have some hatred towards me, maybe you thought
that I hated you, or maybe I wouldn't even have
(16:02):
a chance with you at all. But maybe I do ye.
Maybe if I'm not too too delusional, too crazy, we
(16:24):
could be together. Right. You know, I've wanted to be
with you. I've tried to fall in love with someone else,
and it never happened. I met other guys college, and
(16:45):
I told myself, I need to get over this heartbreak.
I need to get over all of these regrets. But
I never fell in love. Every guy I talked to,
every person that tried to flirt with me, nothing ever clicked.
(17:09):
I never had any desire to go on any dates
to learn about them. It was always you stuck in
my head. I was always comparing them to you, and
I felt like it. I couldn't escape. It was like
(17:30):
you were tormenting me, your law and everything about you.
I just couldn't resist you, and now like that, I
can't let you go. I know my brother's probably going
(17:54):
to be home soon, but I love you, I really do,
and I wantn't be able to tell you that as
many times as I want. Maybe it's a bit too
soon to tell you when you aren't even together. I
(18:19):
just want you to know my feeling. I want you
to know how badly I've missed you, and I hope
that I can earn your trust again, that you'll love
me again all the same, because I really have missed you. Well, Yeah,
(18:46):
spend tonight with me. When my brother comes back, the
three of us can hang out just like good all
the time. Then if you want, I can come over
to your place. I can tell my brother that I'm
(19:06):
walking you home, but I can come over and maybe
then we we can have all of those conversations we
always wanted to have and actually be honest to each other.
(19:28):
They won't have to hold back our feelings anymore. I
don't have to worry about saying I love you, and
then I guess we actually do work things out. Day
(19:50):
I'll have to tell everybody that I really was in
love with you. But I still and I can't wait
to have you in my life again. He's probably about
(20:11):
to be here, so maybe I should back off a
little bit. We can talk about this more later. Okay,
I love you, I really do. Okay, I promise h
And what are you doing here? Oh? All right? Did
he not tell you that he's not going to be
back for a while. I mean, I don't know, maybe
another hour or two at least. I mean he went
(00:28):
on to get some food, and when you came over,
I assumed that he want a text to you or something, right, Oh,
your phone instead? Do you need a charger or anything?
I can give you mind if you want, Yeah, just
come on in. I promise, there's no problem at all.
(00:52):
I'll grab it for you and yeah, there you go.
How about you don't lose at this time? Okay? You know,
I remember last time I let you borrow my charger,
you lost it and we had to look all over
the house to find it. I don't care how long
(01:12):
ago it was. I never forget. Okay, and you know
those chargers aren't cheap. Yeah, let me take your coat
for you. No, no, it's not any trouble at all,
I promise, And speaking up. You remember back when we
(01:36):
were in school. I remember you had the biggest crush
on me and used to come over and I would
always offer to do things for you, and you'd blush
so hard, and it was always like you thought you
were hiding it, but you never were, and there you are.
(01:58):
You still are bright. I mean, it wasn't that long ago,
but we were just stupid kids. And that's not like
you still have a crush on me. We're a lot
older now and things have moved on. But you know,
(02:22):
the more I talk that radder and redder you get.
You kind of look like a tomato so cute. I'm sorry,
I I won't laugh at you. Well, hey, since we're
both here, and since my brother likes to take forever
(02:44):
to get food, do you want to watch something? We
can watch a movie or just to show some YouTube
video if you want. All right, and what do you
want to watch? Huh? It's my pick? Are you sure
(03:05):
about that? I don't think you should be asking me
what I want to watch because my brother always says
I have a horrible taste. All right, Well, don't say
I didn't warn you. Okay, how about we watch Kung
(03:27):
Fu Panda? Now? Do you remember why you shouldn't let
me ch you my kid's movie? But it's my favorite,
I swear. Did you know they're making a new one too.
I'm really excited to go watch it. Well it's too
(03:48):
late now, I've already chosen. So now you get over
here and you can watch it with me, and honestly,
you're end me of the good old days. It would
be you and me, and usually my brother didn't want
to watch it all. He was always playing games in
(04:10):
his room, but we would bundle up, put the blankets together,
and watch Gung Fu Banda over and over again. You
think that eventually you'd stop letting me pick the movies,
But here we are, years later, still watching the same
(04:31):
movie on the same exact couch. You know, I, I
know I was teasing you earlier, but do you ever
regret it. I don't mean to sound so dramatic, but
(04:51):
just back then, things seemed a lot easier. We were
younger and just felt like we could do anything, and
we were stupid kids, but everything felt so amazing, being
(05:12):
able to sit on the couch with you, just hanging out.
And then as we got older, you we started hanging
out more with my brother and I just went off
to college and we kind of broke aport. I just
kind of miss it, you know, I missed that feeling
(05:36):
I used to have. It felt like nothing mattered. We
were going to watch whatever we wanted, and we never
had to worry about what was going to happen tomorrow.
I know I haven't really spoken to you ever since
I left, but I'm sorry. Sorry for being a jerk
(06:01):
to you all the way back then. I know I
always poked fun at you. You are obviously so in
love with me, and I always teased you about it.
I would always just make fun of you, and I
guess I was kind of a jerk for playing it off.
(06:27):
I always thought you were joking, but I was scared.
I got distant because I was afraid of the truth,
and I was stupid, and I was an idiot. I
was just a high school girl, too afraid to know
what she wanted. I didn't know what to say, or
(06:49):
what to do or anything. I was just scared. I
didn't want to mess things up, and I didn't know
if it would be permanent or temporary, or maybe it
would ruin everything between us. And you know, you and
(07:11):
my brother and I we've we've been so close, all
three of us for so long, and you know, if
things went badly between us, then everything would be messed up.
I didn't want that to happen. I wanted to keep
you in my life, even if it meant I had
(07:35):
to act like I was just hating on you every
time you seemed like you liked me, teasing you for
your beet red cheeks. The truth is I I really
liked you too, but I was I was afraid. I
(07:58):
don't know why, but I was afraid that if we
started dating, I would mess everything up. I guess what
ended of happening was. I just messed everything up before
we even had the chance to date. And kind of ironic,
(08:20):
isn't it. I ruined it. I ruined everything, and I
really wish I could go back in time and redo
it all we do everything. I wouldn't have been so
mean to you, and I wouldn't have always made fun
(08:42):
of you. I wouldn't have acted like all of your
little secret confessions or just a joke. I just wish
I could I could turn back time and say sorry,
Sorry to the person that I hurt back then, sorry
(09:05):
to the person you are now. I just want to
hug you and hold you close, and I want to
tell you exactly I really felt. I I know I
probably shouldn't have brought any of this up. It's it's
(09:28):
just been between us for so long, and I haven't
seen you in so long, I I figured this might
be my only chance to tell you. I wanted to
tell you the truth. So I'm I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
(09:55):
I'm being honest. I love you. I love you so much,
and I have. I've loved you for a long time,
and I've been in denial for so long. I can't
even tell you why. I'm sorry. I was such an idiot.
(10:20):
I've loved you for so long, and I shouldn't have
been afraid. I should have just told you the truth
and everything could have been perfect between us. You know.
I wonder how different our lives would have been. And
(10:41):
I've been honest with you all those years ago if
I hadn't pretended. But I guess it's too nate now, right,
too late to turn back time. I just want to
make things right between us. Okay, So between you and me,
(11:07):
I'm being honest with you, and I don't want you
to tell my brother or anybody else. But I do
still love you, even when I pretended I did it,
and even today I pretend I don't, but I do.
(11:30):
I loved you when I love for college, and every
single day I hope maybe that you come with me.
I know you've always wanted to travel around and just
go anywhere you want. You probably wouldn't go to the
local college, but I wanted you there. It felt like
(11:53):
it could be a fresh start. You know, I can
in luck eyes with you for the first time, all
over it again, and we could have our own college romance.
We could leave everything behind. But maybe that was too
good to be true. I guess I would have been
(12:18):
better off just telling you everything. But in my mind
I just wanted to figure out a way to make
it all work somehow. But I guess now you know
right the secret sound and now things between you and
(12:40):
me are just awkward, aren't they. You don't think so well.
You came over to my house, you had no intention
of even seeing me. I guess you probably thought you
could play some games with my brother and have a
(13:03):
nice night. Now you're sitting next to your high school crush,
and she's confessing all of her feelings to you. I
guess anybody else in your situation just leave. It's probably
a lot to take in, isn't it. But I guess
(13:26):
everything's not completely over right unless you want it to
be over. We aren't in high school anymore, and you
could start all over again. I guess maybe we can't
(13:47):
tell my brother, not right now. Anyway, he'd definitely make
fun of me for dragging it out all this time.
He used to tease me about how you would act.
It's almost like he knew. Maybe he didn't know I
(14:07):
had feelings for you too. He was like a little wingman.
I wonder if you thought we would end up together.
I guess that's not completely off the table, isn't do
(14:28):
you think we could be together? And doesn't have to
be right now? Hi, I know all of this is
very sodid, but I miss you. I want to talk
to you more because it's been so long just being
(14:54):
able to hang out with you. We could watch movies again,
just have nights together. I guess when you have a sleepover.
It's a bit more weird when you're older, but you
can take things slow. We can catch up on life
(15:17):
and learn about each other again. I used to remember
all of the things you used to like. I remember
every time you'd bring snacks to glass. At one point
I was even considering bringing you some, and I almost
(15:40):
got some for tonight too, But I was honestly scared.
I was scared that maybe you would reject me, maybe
you would have some hatred towards me, maybe you thought
that I hated you, or maybe I wouldn't even have
(16:02):
a chance with you at all. But maybe I do ye.
Maybe if I'm not too too delusional, too crazy, we
(16:24):
could be together. Right. You know, I've wanted to be
with you. I've tried to fall in love with someone else,
and it never happened. I met other guys college, and
(16:45):
I told myself, I need to get over this heartbreak.
I need to get over all of these regrets. But
I never fell in love. Every guy I talked to,
every person that tried to flirt with me, nothing ever clicked.
(17:09):
I never had any desire to go on any dates
to learn about them. It was always you stuck in
my head. I was always comparing them to you, and
I felt like it. I couldn't escape. It was like
(17:30):
you were tormenting me, your law and everything about you.
I just couldn't resist you, and now like that, I
can't let you go. I know my brother's probably going
(17:54):
to be home soon, but I love you, I really do,
and I wantn't be able to tell you that as
many times as I want. Maybe it's a bit too
soon to tell you when you aren't even together. I
(18:19):
just want you to know my feeling. I want you
to know how badly I've missed you, and I hope
that I can earn your trust again, that you'll love
me again all the same, because I really have missed you. Well, Yeah,
(18:46):
spend tonight with me. When my brother comes back, the
three of us can hang out just like good all
the time. Then if you want, I can come over
to your place. I can tell my brother that I'm
(19:06):
walking you home, but I can come over and maybe
then we we can have all of those conversations we
always wanted to have and actually be honest to each other.
(19:28):
They won't have to hold back our feelings anymore. I
don't have to worry about saying I love you, and
then I guess we actually do work things out. Day
(19:50):
I'll have to tell everybody that I really was in
love with you. But I still and I can't wait
to have you in my life again. He's probably about
(20:11):
to be here, so maybe I should back off a
little bit. We can talk about this more later. Okay,
I love you, I really do. Okay, I promise h
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