The Saga Of Soup & Spoon (NSFW)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Sis work.

Speaker 2 (00:09):
Walks to Warder to order wars call Warmer Water Warner
Call Warmer word SARTs, Extreme Disposer.

Speaker 3 (00:31):
To treat.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
More word warmers, foot falls, Warmer words Falls.

Speaker 4 (00:50):
To the Season podcast, Episode five Story one to Smile
in the Mirror music question Mark by.

Speaker 5 (01:05):
Dj org and.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
The Smile in the Mirror.

Speaker 6 (01:16):
Get yourself. Two mirrors, preferably one big enough to see
your whole body. Now, when you're doing this ritual, don't
try to record evidence but with some kind of viet Now,
when you're doing this ritual, don't try to record evidence
with some kind of device because it won't work. But
you can see I can prove to you that this

(01:37):
is real because this ritual doesn't require much out of you. Okay,
so right away, anyone.

Speaker 4 (01:42):
Can do this.

Speaker 6 (01:42):
This is good because there are too many rituals out
there that are just too elitists. And now we have
a ritual for all of America. You don't have to
make any commitments. This is your ritual, America ritual idol
begins now and all you need is two mirrors. Now, really,

(02:04):
this one is shorter than uh Severie's part in Minister Society.
So I'm just gonna start it over. Because really, now
that you know you no no, no, no, no no no,
you know that you are capable. You know what I'm saying,
You are capable, a capable of doing this. You're gonna

(02:24):
you're gonna want to do this, but you're gonna need
two mirrors, and preferably one big enough to see your
whole body.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
You know what I'm saying, Need a big old mrror,
big ol' murr.

Speaker 6 (02:38):
When you're doing this ritual, don't try to record evidence
of it with some kind of device, because it won't work.
Don't be trying to instagram and and or spamming Intagram, Instagram,
cracker in it or whatever it is you be doing.
Don't put it up on Snapchat or tender or whatever
crazy government.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
Websites you're on. Just don't.

Speaker 6 (02:56):
Okay, all right, people, don't even pay attention to what
you could do anymore. We're tired of seeing what you
had for lunch. Unless it looks really pretty, then of
course we want to see it. But get yourself two mirrors,
preferably one big enough to see your whole body.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
Now, when you're.

Speaker 6 (03:15):
Doing this ritual, don't try to record evidence of it
with some kind of device because it won't work. Leave
your selfie stick at home. But you see, I can
prove to you that this is real because this ritual
doesn't require much out of you. Put the two mirrors
between you. Okay, that's exactly what that sentence says right there.

(03:38):
Put the two mirrors between you.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
Okay. I'm just gonna assume that they're saying, be between
the two mirrors. Okay.

Speaker 6 (03:53):
Put the two mirrors between you, facing each other, so
that they reflect off of one or another. Okay, So
I would say, okay, face the mirrors at each other
and then stand in between them. I think that's what
they're trying to say. Adjust the space between the two
mirrors so you can see as many reflections as possible. Now,

(04:13):
stare at yourself through one of the mirrors, but don't smile.
Pretend like you're a rapper in the eighties. Don't smile.
Just keep up a serious or a sad face. Okay,
pretend like you're a rapper from the eighties or an
alternative rocker from the nineties. Eventually, after some staring, you
will realize that one of your reflections will be smiling.

Speaker 1 (04:34):
But only moments after your.

Speaker 6 (04:36):
Realization it will look just like a reflection with you. Well, okay,
that's creepy unless you're smiling.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
So what the deli yo?

Speaker 4 (04:47):
I mean?

Speaker 1 (04:47):
Are you smiling? Because when you're smiling? Okay?

Speaker 6 (04:52):
So okay, So you're gonna look at these two mirrors
and one is gonna be smiling. But if you're smiling,
shouldn't you be afraid of them? One that's frowning? That
seems okay. Now the ritual is done. Oh okay, well
that's done. That was easy's that was totally easy.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
Okay, Now why did we do this? Okay, we're about
to find out.

Speaker 6 (05:13):
Wherever you go, when you pass by a reflection of yourself,
you will notice that your reflection will be smiling.

Speaker 1 (05:20):
Sweet. That's a good thing. It's nice to see yourself smiling.
You should seek yourselves.

Speaker 6 (05:27):
If you're a quiet man like me, you'll dismiss it,
but one day it will eventually break you apart. You
will realize that there is nothing wrong with it. If
you're a quiet man like me, you'll dismiss it, but
one day it will eventually break you apart, and you

(05:49):
will realize that there is nothing wrong with your reflection
and that you are actually smiling.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
This.

Speaker 1 (05:56):
Wait.

Speaker 6 (05:57):
Okay, so you're actually smiling. Oh, clutch the pearls. Goodness me,
I'll know. I'm smiling. Terrible, terrible. Now I can't exploit
my pain because I'm smiling and I'm during the ritual.

(06:18):
You brought something to our dimension, and now it's with
you forever. Whenever you see yourself in the reflection smiling
for no reason whatever, don't be confused. It's just the
man for the other dimension smiling at you. H yeah,

(06:43):
it's just smiling.

Speaker 1 (06:47):
But oh that's cool. Get in bro categories, which one
is being ask no, I see no one signed it.

Speaker 7 (07:28):
The Creepy Podcast, Episode five, Story to nineteen ninety nine,
music by the BBC Radio Workshop guest stritors Pumpkin. But
I know this, lill.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
The year is nineteen ninety nine. Story. It's in the future.

Speaker 8 (07:51):
This attention, it's a better I have hoverboards.

Speaker 1 (07:54):
Where's my hell nine A thousand? Stop killing me, Dave.
That really sucks in you. That's and this brings me
back to my senior kindergarten class.

Speaker 8 (08:03):
That's a thing.

Speaker 9 (08:05):
Back when I was in kindergartend, I was the best
finger painter.

Speaker 8 (08:09):
How many years did the one finger Garden.

Speaker 1 (08:12):
Well, you know, you're a freshman kindergarten, you're junior.

Speaker 8 (08:16):
You graduated in a masters in paint, finger painter you.

Speaker 4 (08:20):
Where was it?

Speaker 1 (08:21):
This sentence brings me back to my senior kindergarten class
when I was five years old.

Speaker 8 (08:24):
Okay, that's I remember that kindergarten graduation. That was a
tearful day.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
It was where we used to read out the date
on the blackboard every single day. That's two day, good memories.
The year nineteen ninety nine exists as a stain in
my mind. However, is that bad? It will stain in
my mind.

Speaker 8 (08:41):
It was nineteen ninety nine. Give me some clubs? Oh yeah, white? Okay?

Speaker 1 (08:44):
Sorry as a memory?

Speaker 8 (08:46):
Oh okay, we're going nineties right with racist TV show?

Speaker 7 (08:50):
Right?

Speaker 1 (08:50):
Oh yeah, yeah, definitely do an interracial kiss? Wh Why
did you kiss that black girl? So I got the
stain in my mind as a memory that will not
go away no matter how I try to forget it.
That's stand. Nineteen ninety nine marked the year I lost
my first tooth, my first time on a plane, and unfortunately,

(09:12):
the early loss of my childhood innocence.

Speaker 8 (09:15):
Oh my god, it's what dad?

Speaker 1 (09:18):
That was a sad day. I hope you got ice
cream app all in one.

Speaker 3 (09:22):
Remember this and remember all this. I literally don't remember
what I did, like like four or five days ago.

Speaker 8 (09:27):
That's why you need the photo album with all the burner,
the burning people.

Speaker 6 (09:31):
Take a picture everything that happened burning, because they won't
get this reference the burning, flaming people.

Speaker 1 (09:39):
That one memory photo album, that one memory that refuses
to be wiped. I hate what that kid is waiting
for you guys to jump. Reminds me when my brother
was potty training. I steed her mind from.

Speaker 8 (09:53):
Down the hall.

Speaker 1 (09:53):
Wipe my god, asshole sounds like him. It all started
with a Last Week or old TV. At that time,
Pokemon was the latest fad to hit school. For those days,
that was like the biggest Jamaican gay porno ever.

Speaker 10 (10:09):
Pokemon, Hi, Pokemon, Iron Pokemon, who Poked the Imon shove up,
I re.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
In the ass, Pokemon cards, games, stickers, and the most
popular TV show toys toys Sway.

Speaker 8 (10:33):
I watched out of the show in.

Speaker 1 (10:35):
Nineteen ninety ninety did when you were five nineteen ninety nine? Yeah,
when you're when you're young. So of course, every time
I came home from school, I would stay glued to
the TV until Pokemon came on at five. The only
problem was that my dad watched the news at five thirty.

Speaker 8 (10:53):
Asshole said this place of fire.

Speaker 1 (10:56):
Minch and Pokemon episodes were back to back, which meant
I had to miss an episode every day. Something I
wind on and on about.

Speaker 11 (11:06):
Okay, I want to probably had a VC I want
to watch Pokemon tape. That shit kid, seriously, not ninety
nine though, I'm thinking it back when I was a kid. Still,
when I was a kid, a dinosaur stepped on the
VCR and I could take Pokemon.

Speaker 3 (11:24):
So because you had a Pokemon dinosaur, he had a
pokeysar fucking stepped on it.

Speaker 1 (11:31):
My tap gun tape was in there. My dad got
tired of hearing me complain every day. Remember that must
be why he went and bought another TV.

Speaker 8 (11:41):
You were fucking balling.

Speaker 1 (11:43):
Seriously, Baller, just be a white family, yead. I'm me
tired of you watch a sports Yeah, I want my
Pokemon's dad.

Speaker 8 (11:51):
I went to Pokemon.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
My dad put the TV he bought in my room
the room. Unfortunately, it was just an old small boob
tube off with the rabbit ears like the large boombs. Myself,
I tell you, I'll watch that all day, large boos.

Speaker 8 (12:08):
I didn't have I didn't have a I didn't have
a TV in my room.

Speaker 1 (12:11):
This TV doesn't even pass the pencil tack.

Speaker 8 (12:13):
Actually, I did have GVO everything you did.

Speaker 1 (12:19):
You had your own room.

Speaker 8 (12:21):
It's true. I shared my room with my brother. I
had a bunk bed in high school with my feet
hung off the end of it.

Speaker 1 (12:27):
Were you a programmer?

Speaker 5 (12:28):
Awesome?

Speaker 8 (12:29):
That was awesome going to hanging out in your room.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
My brother would be like, banging on the door, I
want my truck.

Speaker 6 (12:36):
I'm like, I'm in here with the Girl Go Away
and my Orca poster, my Orca the Killer Whale poster.

Speaker 1 (12:43):
It also only had twenty channels, not including the channel
Pokemon was on. What I recall, I didn't care though,
I was just thrilled I had my own TV in
my room Pokemon all day. After surfing through the channels,
I came to the conclusion that only Channel two TVO
Kids was worth watching, so I watched that for a while.

Speaker 8 (13:04):
I watched the hell out of Buck out of the Pokemon.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
It wasn't for another few months until I discovered Channel
twenty one. Oh really, Channel twenty one day in April,
I was flipping through the channels trying to see if
Pokemon was on. More Pokemon hasn't learned his lesson with this,
really has. I pressed channel.

Speaker 6 (13:29):
Twenty one into all this had a remote too, You
had a remote in nineteen ninety nine.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
It was a clicker.

Speaker 3 (13:37):
Don't mean to say, text him a few things to say.
Number one, Okay, here, this kid just graduated from senior kindergarten.
So what he's like five five years old. He's got
like a Rolls Royce. He's Richie rich is. Oh my god,
he's got a TV.

Speaker 1 (13:51):
He's got he's got an ex wife already. Yeah, totally.

Speaker 8 (13:55):
He still got a mortgage and his liver's not doing
too well either.

Speaker 6 (13:58):
God, seriously, all that hairline way back, never even had it,
scary had the hair now, that's right, never even had
a hairline.

Speaker 1 (14:08):
I pressed channel twenty one into the remote, hoping there
were more channels, and so until what my delight, there was,
Oh yeah, more channels. My dad was surprised too, oh goodness,
but he let me watch it because it seemed to
have kids programs on even though they were naked. And
with Jamaican Channel twenty one, the channel was called Caledon
Local twenty one Caliedan, and later I found out it

(14:33):
was indeed broadcast from the town of Calaedan, Ontario, a
town very close to my city. Okay, that's what's wrong.
It's Canadian. It's Canadian's exactly what it is.

Speaker 8 (14:42):
Their health care, you're so rich with.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Their their socialized healthcare.

Speaker 8 (14:48):
They're all like nice and attractive and shit savages.

Speaker 1 (14:50):
Kaliedan take me away. The TV shows I saw in
Caledon Local twenty one looked poorly made, and I never
understood what was going.

Speaker 7 (14:58):
On in them.

Speaker 1 (14:59):
Half the time critic always a critic. Yeah, I know,
five year old, fucking critic. I don't like these shows.
They're poorly made.

Speaker 8 (15:06):
You got TV in your room.

Speaker 1 (15:09):
They're writings derivative. This is just like what happened on
Saesame Street last week.

Speaker 8 (15:15):
It don't sound like that.

Speaker 1 (15:16):
However, I grew up every.

Speaker 8 (15:20):
But I digressed.

Speaker 1 (15:21):
However I grew up, But then I grew up. Then
I grew end a story, I guess. Every time I
thought of that channel, I realized more and more how
messed up the shows were, and I had to ask
myself what the fuck was I watching? And I asked myself,
what the fuck was I watching? Oh no, no, no,

(15:44):
Here's where it gets good. The following is a list
of shows and episodes I remember seeing on Caledon was
twenty one.

Speaker 8 (15:51):
This is why I gave it to you.

Speaker 7 (15:52):
This is right.

Speaker 1 (15:53):
When I hit this part, I'm like, right, here is
where it gets good.

Speaker 8 (15:58):
I'm opening up the TV guide to my subconscious.

Speaker 1 (16:01):
Here it goes. Are you ready? It sounds just like
Audra's voice.

Speaker 5 (16:04):
Two.

Speaker 1 (16:04):
For some reason, how I remember such detail even disturbs me.
But I guess things like this stand out in your mind.
For a while, there were only three shows I could find.

Speaker 8 (16:14):
On the channel, them Out with a Gun.

Speaker 1 (16:16):
There's a stain in there too, probably because the channel
was only operational between four pm and nine pm. You go, okay,
here we go Bobby Episode six.

Speaker 3 (16:26):
Bobby, Hey, Bobby, So this is Whitney Houston show. Bobby,
help me go poop? I can't go poop?

Speaker 1 (16:33):
Bobby White, God, did put your fing in my butt?
Get this poop out? I recall, Bobby, was this show
where the characters were simply live action hands exactly?

Speaker 8 (16:42):
Bobby getting this bathroom? This is like a show that
and speak easily would do talk to.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
The hand, no puppets or anything, just hot.

Speaker 8 (16:52):
It sounds Canadian.

Speaker 1 (16:54):
This is Canadian public broadcast. Been doing my hand job
all day? Oh my tired.

Speaker 8 (17:00):
I got cramps my hand job.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
What kind of job can I get out than a
hand job? The job that is blow. The show featured
a hand named Booby. I spread it, God, it says Booby.

Speaker 8 (17:12):
It says it on the page. She's actually stop it,
don't don't.

Speaker 1 (17:17):
Just let it out a little bit. And that's not
what happens, and not in light pants. It doesn't happen,
all right. So Booby found himself in a new situation
in every episode the show. Did I get in this situation?
Have you ever noticed handy? The show was only five
minutes long, that's all it takes. Number Yeah, and it
looked like it was shot in front of a damp,

(17:39):
decay wall. The hands always on a table with a
red tablecloth. Very low budget, obviously, once again, this five
year old what a fucking critic? Tried to make TV budget?
Try to make your own television show. Yeah, tried doing
it without hands. It's called stumpy. Make contents.

Speaker 4 (18:02):
Now.

Speaker 1 (18:03):
This was the first episode I watched. The episode began
with Booby trying to get ketchup out of a bottle
ketchup bottle.

Speaker 8 (18:13):
Seriously, like, actually the truth I want to work.

Speaker 1 (18:16):
Yeah, it's a good show. I've watched.

Speaker 8 (18:22):
I know it's funny.

Speaker 3 (18:23):
In the nineties, I watched Weirder Ship on like MTV
two with like thunder shows and and all that ship. Yeah,
it sounds par for the course with that ship. Any
Milan Ocus all that weird ship on MTV two, that's
fine to me.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
It actually showed him beating himself against the bottle of
the bottle of ketschup.

Speaker 8 (18:47):
It would be like getting the hitting.

Speaker 1 (18:50):
It's a hand beating, it's a beating hand. Okay, so
the hand is beating beating hand. The hand is beating
against himself against the bottom of the bottle.

Speaker 8 (19:00):
Attention, assuming this isn't like two handed puppets.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
It's beating one hand. It's beating the ketchup on the
bottom one hand. Bobbit ketchup.

Speaker 6 (19:09):
It stopped breaking the apartment Desmond the Anarchist, Okay, so
we're the hand is beating.

Speaker 8 (19:16):
Wow, that text is so big.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
I'm not as young as I used to be version
not five anymore. I got my reading glasses of seven.
What do you want? Finally, another hand came by and
looked at Booby. Together they operate. The other hand said
to get oh, I see igether, the other hand said.

(19:40):
The other hand the other that's how the hand talks,
the other hand said, and it began beating the bottle
as well. Oh, you take that bottle. I'll give me
that ketchup.

Speaker 8 (19:53):
I've seen this.

Speaker 9 (19:54):
My name is Booby, Like I've seen this on YouTube.
Fucking smack, that's lightning out of you, this on next tube,
on ecstasy.

Speaker 1 (20:02):
Until some ketchup finally squirt it out all over the table.

Speaker 8 (20:06):
It's like pornhubs scored it all over the table.

Speaker 1 (20:10):
Give me a towel, money shot, Booby?

Speaker 5 (20:12):
Then what?

Speaker 1 (20:14):
Booby then stared at the ketchup mess for a few seconds.
This hand stared with his hand eyes I guess yes,
before turning towards the camera. Well there is braille as
it slowly zoomed in on him. Bomb. Okay, let's go
to the next show. Okay, mister bear Cellar, Episode twelve,
mister bear Cellar. Welcome to mister bear Cellar.

Speaker 8 (20:37):
I think that's actually downtown for a while. It's a
club in Toronto.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
Cellar next next to the manhole. Welcome to mister Bear cellar.
We all wear suspenders, do you suspenders?

Speaker 8 (20:51):
I got a tank top.

Speaker 1 (20:52):
I have nipple rings. Touch that. Would you like some barbecue?
Very sketchy name if you were to look at it nowadays. Oh,
this guy droll up up to date to day with it.

Speaker 11 (21:01):
You know.

Speaker 1 (21:02):
The show featured a guy wearing a bear mascot costume
who would get a new visitor in his cellar every day.
Come to my cellar. I'm wearing my outfit.

Speaker 8 (21:10):
Yeah, another thing I think I've seen you serious, I
think I've seen this on either get Craigslist or porn up.

Speaker 1 (21:16):
I'm wearing the outfit. I have two holes cutting I
guess where they are. Not why you would think the
visitor was always a kid?

Speaker 8 (21:23):
Oh no, I know this is kind of dark. Okay,
I feel bad.

Speaker 1 (21:27):
No, it's real. The show was filmed with a camcorder,
and not a very good one either. It's five year old.
Is such a fucking as the police. Don't you step
up your snuff gear. I could barely see you choke
that lady. It's not even cool.

Speaker 8 (21:44):
I know they're all going to die, but at least like,
wow them with your equipment.

Speaker 1 (21:48):
We know they're gonna die. We want to soon. It's
not an HD. Forgive me, where's the GoPro? I want
Killer's I view?

Speaker 8 (21:56):
Did they have Did they have a ninety nine?

Speaker 1 (21:59):
No, they didn't have HPV either, says.

Speaker 8 (22:01):
It no wonder that those shows didn't go viral. They
actually didn't have running water either.

Speaker 1 (22:07):
This is Canada. The police asked me a lot of
questions about this show. Are what's going on with the show? Wait,
there's police there now, you don't know the next see
after another, mack Daddy, I'm just going to rewind. The
show was filmed with the camp quarder, and not a
very good one either, with camp quarter sucks. The police

(22:28):
asked me a lot of questions about this show with
a camp quarder. This episode started with mister Bear sitting
at a table playing checkers by himself. I missed out. Okay,
you know what you can tell when someone's not right
when they're playing checkers by themsel by themselves, just playing
checkers at all? Like I didn't recognize it at first,
but the table was the same one from.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
Booby Booby's table. No, you laid Booby's table, of course.
I mean they reasoned the ship. The Booby's only five
minutes long. Bobby, get out of here.

Speaker 8 (22:56):
I got a film.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
Table on the wall to ketch up. You lead the
ketchup on the table. We have a scene where someone
gets shot and we leave. It was to use it.
He sat there playing for a bit, you know, with himself,
until there was a knock on the door. The camera
was then looking out up the stairs at the door.
There was another knock. Mister Bear climbed the stairs. I'm

(23:22):
trying to play some trackers by myself. Opened the door
to reveal two young children. This was my uh in food.

Speaker 8 (23:31):
Take from there. We go come in here and eat
the tapolage like he's supposed to, and I'll hide.

Speaker 1 (23:38):
One was a boy about my age. The other was
a girl who looked about eight. She was about to
be eight. Miss mister Bear danced in delight. He doesn't
did the bear shuffle.

Speaker 3 (23:51):
I guess I'm about to eat this eight year old.
I've during one of the bar nights or the DNA,
and I've seen them the chef.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
Dance with delight. He usually was by a buffet, and
then he started talking to the kids semi colon. I
couldn't hear any of them that well.

Speaker 8 (24:07):
I remember because the mic the boom was shitty.

Speaker 1 (24:10):
I guess I get you know this guy and his
production values. And mister Bear then led the kids into
the cellar, which was quite dark, only lit by a
small oil lamp on the table. I can't really remember
that much more except him singing a song which I
couldn't hear too well either, probably because of the large

(24:31):
bear masks five and his dad him whatever. He's just
watching TV unchaperoned, and he's watching these like shit, this
is why enough, That's why they won't let them in.

Speaker 3 (24:50):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (24:51):
The episode ended with them playing hide and seek, with
the kids hiding in a closet and mister Bear counting.
Mister Bear hasn't been in the closet for a long time,
has he?

Speaker 4 (25:00):
No?

Speaker 1 (25:00):
I don't think so. Oh wait, here's another show, Soup
and spoon. Oh no, they go together. The police, the police,
they were there. I don't know. I don't think this
was even a show. I think it was more of
a special movie. There was a documentary.

Speaker 8 (25:18):
He literally, he literally said something about about police.

Speaker 1 (25:22):
I think we're going to get back to okay, he's
setting the scene.

Speaker 6 (25:26):
Did you see the pot way? He took the spoon
and he put it in the soup like I was
riveted metaph for it. But he took the he got
the soup to his mouth mouth metaphor, but he ate it.

Speaker 1 (25:39):
All I know is I stopped watching Calidon Local twenty
one for a while because I thought this show was
too stupid, especially since Pokemon Now came on at four
thirty and five o'clock. Oh, that's right, it's a Pokemon thing, right,
isn't this all why the whole word all started? The
whole thing started with a Jamaican pornographic film.

Speaker 8 (25:57):
There's like twenty more this.

Speaker 1 (25:59):
It started off with a guy with dreadlocks having sex
with other men. I don't remember much of this, but
it showed a can of soup. I had this dream once.
I don't remember much.

Speaker 8 (26:12):
When there's this can of soup and where it went,
you don't want to know. I couldn't sit. I've seen
that video for a long time. Porn. I think it's
still ending up, actually, and it's probably ready if you
want some.

Speaker 1 (26:23):
And a spoon, both attached, swinging back and forth as
if someone was holding them, and dangling them in front
of the camera was interestingly, you want this soup, don't you?
Canadian boy? Were you starving and dead? You wish you
had a spoon? You wish health care? Yeah, you wish

(26:43):
you had a spoon. The show was shot in a basement,
which looked just like the one used in Mister Bear.
Cellar was the last victim shot in the basement. Those kids,
Like I said, I can't remember much. The only thing
I can remember clearly was the end.

Speaker 7 (27:03):
Uh is that it? Now?

Speaker 8 (27:08):
Some of them get over? I hope it's it's not. Yes,
you're all double sided the entire space.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
Thanks wiki. The entire thing was only half an hour.
And just include it just includes stuff. I just include
stuff I found.

Speaker 3 (27:25):
Stupid stre I swear to god, this wasphood of adult swim.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
It was soup, and there I saw his soup.

Speaker 8 (27:33):
That whole thing sounded like an adult swim.

Speaker 1 (27:35):
It was chicken poodle soup. Seriously, why would you eat
pootle soup? Just the spoon chasing the soup around, trying
to eat him.

Speaker 8 (27:45):
This is all madn didn't Isabella Rosselini made this movie,
right but.

Speaker 6 (27:49):
That, But they don't want to sing soup this spoon
goes into this soup and they make more soups and spoons.

Speaker 1 (27:55):
The ending showed a table the one from Booby on
the same freaking table man, and about seven kids sitting
around it.

Speaker 6 (28:02):
I want to party with this guy, soup all day,
super party, party, soup, party, soup, and.

Speaker 8 (28:07):
Catch up with kids had a bear suit.

Speaker 1 (28:10):
Oh yeah, catching up with the soup and the kids.
Yet kids, seven kids each of the bowl of soup
in front of them, that's a soup. And looking at
the camera where they're eating each other soup. Where they
feeding each other at the soup. Oh, man, it's not
that kind of kind of true.

Speaker 8 (28:24):
How do they fit seven people around that crappy little table?

Speaker 1 (28:27):
The kids against the wall? There's one side missing. I
work in restaurants. I know that's not technically possible. You've
got like six total without the extra side.

Speaker 8 (28:36):
Well, I think about it though. No, think about it though.
And if you're framing a shot, you can't bock it
with the back to the camera.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
So you're really really last supper thing. Oh that's right,
but no, actually the last supper nobody sat on the
other side of the table. That's just true. There's no
need to They all wanted to be next to each other,
touch hands.

Speaker 7 (28:51):
Is that why?

Speaker 1 (28:52):
I thought it was because one of the people at
the ends the portrait, they're not important people at the ends.
They were sitting and looking at the camera but with confused,
almost frightened faces. The cameraman just like that, use your
imaginations at home, people. The cameraman then held the can
of soup in front of the kids and said, fucking

(29:12):
soup spoons ready, And then it just stopped. And then
they lit fire into the spoon and cooked the soup
up and injected it. And I woke up.

Speaker 9 (29:23):
Yes, noodle, that Campbell's hives. The shoe man, so much
protein in here?

Speaker 8 (29:29):
Give me that Campbell's.

Speaker 1 (29:31):
This is mister bear. It was summer and I hadn't
watched Channel twenty one for a while until one day
when I slept over at my friend's house, I decided
to check it out again. My friend had gotten a
TV in his room for his sixth birthday. These people
run with a fast career.

Speaker 6 (29:48):
I had to wait till he was six to get
a TV in his room. And it's the future. It's
the future.

Speaker 1 (29:55):
So we stayed up very late for us nine thirty
was very late and we TV and when I remembered
channel twenty one and brought it up to my friend,
that's a sentence we decided to see if it was on,
you should not.

Speaker 8 (30:10):
Here's the thing, when do you write this stuff?

Speaker 3 (30:12):
You can have a creative writer, creative writing major, someone
with the masses of creative writing.

Speaker 6 (30:18):
That's exactly this read your stuff. It's just that's exactly
why it's hilarious editing when you put it on the internet,
anyone can. It's happened to me. You know, my friend,
I'm like, what.

Speaker 1 (30:33):
Are you rhyming over my beat? Who the hell are you?

Speaker 4 (30:37):
Oh?

Speaker 8 (30:37):
My god, your life sucks worse than mine. Yeah, that's
why I let her read my stuff y'all.

Speaker 7 (30:42):
All the time.

Speaker 1 (30:43):
I'm available for editing after the show, so you know,
if you need something edited, just totally. It is except money.
It is really hard.

Speaker 8 (30:54):
It's hard for an editor.

Speaker 6 (30:55):
Hard.

Speaker 1 (30:57):
It is hard for an editor because you walk down
the street you see all bullshit on signs, and it's like, what,
you don't don't need a semi colon right there? You
don't even know how a semi colon? Oh goodness, thank you,
goodness goodness.

Speaker 8 (31:07):
Serious people need to. They don't need to know how
to write anymore. They just don't know.

Speaker 1 (31:10):
It's true. It's all. It's all emoticon pictures of farting elephant,
which I love, by the way, and I laughed, that's terrible.

Speaker 8 (31:17):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (31:18):
I love my farting elephant.

Speaker 8 (31:21):
Did one thing? Everything I got at pressed. Someone actually
posted a meme about it.

Speaker 3 (31:26):
It's like, wouldn't it be awesome if emojis got to
the point where it was like hiergraphics and that's.

Speaker 1 (31:29):
How we h Gothics, that's what that's what's happening.

Speaker 3 (31:33):
And the actually was like, that's how people were talking,
like they had this thing about like ancient Egyptians. It's
like a picture, but they had super imposed on the
higerg efficts like emojis and ship and I was just like,
oh God.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
Really confused, face confused face, farting dog yay, yay.

Speaker 8 (31:48):
I need the farting dog one I use I would
use that hourly. It was kind of cute.

Speaker 1 (31:53):
Probably hourly all right, So back to Channel twenty one.

Speaker 8 (31:57):
It was just sad a station.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
I thought, wasn't it Channel twenty one? Yeah, I think
that's where the Dancing Canada stuff it was Telemundo.

Speaker 8 (32:04):
Canada's Adult Swims.

Speaker 1 (32:05):
I don't know Mexicans in Canada.

Speaker 9 (32:07):
They're about to get some things. Keep going the way
they're going here, you're about to get a message. To
get one means me included. Because it's nice there, we
decided to see if it was on Always On.

Speaker 1 (32:20):
To our surprise, it was. It was most deadly Mister
Bear Cellar Episode twenty three, Mister Bear Seller World Star
Hip Hop All up in Mister Bear Sella. This episode
was entertaining for my friend and I, mainly because it
had swearing. Yay you mother. This must son of a

(32:40):
biscuit eaten mother. Father brother bear Sellar gets blue. He
works blue. Mister Bear works blue. I'll tell you that. However,
now when I think of the episode, I realized something
was definitely wrong. When it was filmed.

Speaker 8 (32:57):
They forgot to film it in front of that gross wall.

Speaker 1 (33:01):
Gone. The episode started with the camera on its side. Well,
I was facing mister Bear.

Speaker 8 (33:07):
So this is what happened. After the end of Blair Witch,
Mister Bear comes out and eat this.

Speaker 6 (33:14):
Cellar.

Speaker 1 (33:17):
Sop. Where's your life some soyrup, It's time for op.
You have no choice in the soup. So mister Bear
is walking up the stairs to the cellar door. The
camera then blacked out for a second oh no, before
fading in back upright and facing mister Bear. There's also
another kid talking to him, but this kid looked about

(33:38):
eleven or twelve.

Speaker 8 (33:39):
Like twelve step in his game up respect.

Speaker 1 (33:43):
He was talking to mister Bear for a while. He's
ready for the older kids. Now, yep, I'm an old bear.

Speaker 8 (33:48):
Now young I'm tired of you young kids.

Speaker 1 (33:51):
He's looking for one that can support him, support me
while I hibernate. Right, I can't work half the year.
I need to come. I couldn't hear well again with
the crappy cam quarder until right.

Speaker 8 (34:09):
This kid can.

Speaker 3 (34:10):
He's like it's been at least a year. He could
have stepped up his equipment. Yo yo kid for real.

Speaker 1 (34:14):
Until the kids started raising his voice. You about to
get a smack kid. The kid was saying how it
was late his sister had to go home. You could
also hear more voices in the background. I remember mister
Bear clearly saying get the fuck out, you're not invited,
with the deep voice muffled by the bear mask. So

(34:35):
it's actually more like I haven't had my tunes.

Speaker 8 (34:43):
I'm angry, fanswered.

Speaker 3 (34:44):
Craigslist asked I were like that, and I was just
like a knock on the door, come inside, no going,
get the fucking.

Speaker 6 (34:54):
Out in outside and come inside, come inside and get
the fuck out scary.

Speaker 1 (34:59):
I remember my friend and I looked at each other
and laughed at the mention of the forbidden F word.
F wood, he said the fuck word. But then the
episode got weirder. No, yes, no, yes, okay. The kid
began climbing the stairs before turning around and saying how
he was going to call the police.

Speaker 8 (35:18):
You cursed at me?

Speaker 2 (35:18):
Bear?

Speaker 8 (35:19):
Are the Mounties?

Speaker 1 (35:20):
Yeah? Exactly. The bear began breaking into a run towards
the kid, breaking two time to eat, who started screaming
and running as well. The camera then cut out and
that was the end of the episode. That's a cliffhanger.
The channel then turned to static shortly after. This's what
I think, Tim and Eric is like, I think, I

(35:42):
just don't get it. They're actually just watching Channel.

Speaker 8 (35:44):
Z right just live.

Speaker 1 (35:46):
You can't do that on television.

Speaker 8 (35:48):
Okay, those are the auditions where you can't do that
on tell exactly.

Speaker 1 (35:53):
Okay, we want to make sure you're gonna make crappy
music later, so we're gonna slim you. And then alanis morset.

Speaker 8 (35:58):
Never mind, I don't know. Oh I'm covered in water.

Speaker 1 (36:03):
Oh Booby's back. Booby episode forty two, Playing with Scissors,
Playing with Oh Scissors is back? Playing with No Okay,
one rainy afternoon, I was bored, so I decided to
watch Channel twenty one. When I started watching some show
about a guy sitting in an armchair, was just finishing
all in the family.

Speaker 8 (36:20):
I thought this guy only remembered a couple of shows.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
I don't like people who don't like me. I can't
do it. I've been in an armchair. I'm racist as hell,
I'm funny, he said, muche's such an asshole. Shut up?
What that day?

Speaker 8 (36:37):
That's pretty good right there.

Speaker 1 (36:40):
When I first saw this episode, I thought it was
for teenagers because it had blood in it, like for
menstruating teenagers? Is that what I found?

Speaker 8 (36:51):
His flower of my underwear? That it was a garden?

Speaker 1 (36:54):
You don't know. I don't know what year it is now?
Is this still nineteen ninety nine? But he's like getting older,
I think, so he's kidding all right, So it was
gonna have blood in it. It was very gross. Okay, okay,
the police told me everything I now know.

Speaker 6 (37:08):
In the beginning there was nothing. Can you skip ahead, please,
I now know. And then God moved his face along
some water, and now your parents are dead.

Speaker 1 (37:18):
I now know who the blood belonged to. Uh oh.
The episode showed Booby and another hand with a ribbon
around it, the pinky finger Booby's girlfriend. Oh no, wait,
the hand has a girlfriend. Oh, they get down all
the time. You've seen that episode. It's freaky. It's like
basket case two. Think a hand is there because you
don't have a girlfriend, right, I know. Booby was holding

(37:41):
scissors and hopping around back and forth.

Speaker 8 (37:43):
You're not supposed to do that with scissors, especially when
you were only a hand. That's right.

Speaker 1 (37:49):
Do you think you lost the rest of them?

Speaker 6 (37:51):
Seriously, that was a bad, bad day. That was a
bad fall down the stairs that day with the scissors.

Speaker 1 (37:57):
The scissors. Oh, my body, it's going I lost Booby. Okay,
So Booby's holding these scissors, hopping around back and forth.
It was not safe while his girlfriend slowly swung around aimlessly.
Another hand shot into the scene. How many hands aren't they?
So many hands hands Christian Andersen, it's like that that

(38:19):
scene and repulsion. Oh no, no, don't. Another hand shot
into the scene. This hand was smaller, though, and was
jerking around violently. Oh not the small jerking, U jerking
and if someone under the table was forcing the hand,
and I later found out that was the case. Scissors

(38:39):
are very dangerous, kids, so hold them safely.

Speaker 8 (38:42):
There was there was something attached to the hand in
the first place, like there was someone controlling the hand.
Is what you're towing, you know, like there was a puppet.
There was a puppet controlling the hand.

Speaker 1 (38:52):
Booby said to the camera. Oh, scissors are very dangerous, kids,
so hold them safely. Booby said to the camera. I
noticed I could also hear muffled screams. I just noticed that,
but I wasn't sure where it was coming from because
of the bad sound quality.

Speaker 6 (39:12):
Maybe I could say somebody's life. If you had a
better camera, that's all I'm saying. Better, a better sound mix,
you had a better sound mix, someone might still be alive.

Speaker 1 (39:21):
Booby's girlfriend grabbed the smaller hand, which was thrashing about,
and Booby went at it with scissors. He started with
the thumb, start with the thumb. He opened the scissors
wide and clasped them onto the thumb. Blood began oozing out,
and the muffled screams were now very loud. How come

(39:42):
you don't want to watch your kids shows anymore, darling?

Speaker 8 (39:45):
No, just mommy has watch just ooze out like that.

Speaker 1 (39:48):
You just watched Booby while mommy cooks the breakfast. Okay,
they'll probably squored out an artery in the thumb.

Speaker 3 (39:55):
Yeah, that's why you can't. Yeah, because you can't, because
you have your thumb as a pulse. That's why you can't.
You can't use your thumb to find your pulse in
your on your necks.

Speaker 1 (40:05):
It's not an artery. There's an artery.

Speaker 8 (40:07):
You have a you can fill a pulse in it.

Speaker 1 (40:09):
It's not that.

Speaker 8 (40:10):
But but if you got your you cut your thumb, it'll.

Speaker 1 (40:13):
It'll be squirting square. Okay, so there's like blood square.
My five year old self was very grossed out, and
that's when I decided so existential.

Speaker 3 (40:24):
I love it.

Speaker 6 (40:25):
My five I was so aware at that point. I
knew my five year old self was freaking out, but
my futureself was like, that's normal.

Speaker 8 (40:31):
Yourself, Like, that's a never happens Canada.

Speaker 1 (40:34):
Yeah, prepared for that. Maybe Booby was a show meant
for teenagers or grown ups, because you know all the
shows about people cutting their thumbs off.

Speaker 6 (40:44):
You watch those grown up shows where they just like
cut each other's thumbs off all the time Netflix, it
is on Telemoondo.

Speaker 1 (40:52):
Then the scissors got to the bone those models. A
horrible crunching noise was heard. That's when I turned the
TV off. I never discussed it with my dad because
I feared he would limit my TV time.

Speaker 3 (41:05):
That smart kid, smart bucking kid right there here, I
saw something really horrible.

Speaker 1 (41:09):
But don't tell me not to watch anymore, please. TV
told me not to tell anyone. Tell me to put
glass in your food? How is it as a tasty?
Does it taste like glass?

Speaker 8 (41:18):
Yummy?

Speaker 1 (41:19):
Yummy? Don't bastle anyone where he touched you.

Speaker 8 (41:22):
I'll touch you again.

Speaker 1 (41:23):
I didn't want to watch again. I didn't want to
watch Channel twenty one after that Booby episode.

Speaker 8 (41:29):
And it sounds like Spanish television every does.

Speaker 1 (41:35):
Tell him the boy he's actually watching Manos Hands of Feet,
mid gutos Mita Mita. In August, I grew more curious
to see mister Bear's cellar. For some reason though that
because he's gay.

Speaker 9 (41:49):
I'm ready to see me. You are selling now, mister Bear,
and we want that bear. Take me in that dungeon,
put me in that swing, mister Bear. I'd have been
intrigued to the last episode I saw.

Speaker 1 (41:57):
Mister Bear was weird and he had swearing, which also
made me think that the show was meant for teenagers.
You know, those teenagers and swearing.

Speaker 8 (42:06):
Five or six or whatever.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
No one swears more than six year old kids, honestly. Nonetheless,
I flipped into Channel twenty one when my dad was busy.
Mister Bear Sellar, episode twenty eight. Apparently this episode had
been playing the entire month of August.

Speaker 8 (42:22):
Wait what I need to.

Speaker 1 (42:24):
Get caught up on this month long episode? Wait what see,
I'll be binge watching mister Bear Sellar.

Speaker 8 (42:30):
This kid can't be watched binge watch it.

Speaker 1 (42:32):
They didn't have Netflix in nineteen ninety nine.

Speaker 8 (42:34):
Fuck ninety nine.

Speaker 1 (42:35):
It was studied a lot by the police. The entire
episode was just mister Bear sitting in a chair talking
to the audience. That's why I did it, kids, That's
why I became a bear and entertain you.

Speaker 3 (42:48):
This is like a public access channel and it went
on for a month and then we didn't stop.

Speaker 1 (42:53):
What entertained your children?

Speaker 5 (42:56):
And you won't let me hear mister Hello, plots, do
you want to revisit my cellar?

Speaker 7 (43:03):
See? I don't. I don't.

Speaker 8 (43:04):
Mister bar does not your door?

Speaker 4 (43:07):
Do this?

Speaker 1 (43:08):
Write to me that letter at this address? Read it
in your own blood.

Speaker 8 (43:11):
See he gave his address out to this is my
salar children.

Speaker 1 (43:16):
The screen then switched to a white screen with multi
colored letters reading the address, and that was what remained
for the rest of the episode. Six six six hel
Avenue Basement.

Speaker 3 (43:27):
So again, this guy, if he's fucking with people, he
gave his addresses, come to my basement.

Speaker 1 (43:32):
And guess what I actually did. I said, mister bear
or that sick bastard to portray him a letter and
my underwear Does it really say sick? I mean, I don't.
I just read the word. I just sent him his underwear.
I never learned how to read it. Actually, I would
be intrigued.

Speaker 6 (43:48):
I knew it.

Speaker 8 (43:49):
I would What did you say?

Speaker 1 (43:51):
She's making all this up?

Speaker 8 (43:52):
I knew it. It's totally not true because it's like,
why would you say that sick bastard?

Speaker 1 (43:57):
Because because mister Bear had a oh, and he didn't
and he also never had a father. So no, we're
dealing in technical terms.

Speaker 3 (44:06):
Yeah, my immersion is is his mom is waning only
because how the fuck did this kid get stamps?

Speaker 1 (44:12):
You're right, fuck this story Stamps Jesus because he went
to stamps dot com. Let's think our sponsor. Is there
any stamps dot Com?

Speaker 7 (44:19):
Yet?

Speaker 8 (44:20):
It probably is weak?

Speaker 1 (44:21):
There is the sponsor.

Speaker 6 (44:23):
Yes, I know there's the stamps dot Com, but I
mean in the future in nine nine, No, there's just stamps.
You know when stamps dot net. Stamps is not fire
fire at aol.

Speaker 1 (44:36):
Al that's where I was. You have stamps at AOL.
I did it out of curiosity. Mostly I did it.
I did it all the time. I did it because
I was curious. My dad was okay with it.

Speaker 4 (44:50):
Do it.

Speaker 1 (44:50):
I don't know why little Legit Kids show. And then
again he never saw any of what was on Channel
twenty one. So I wrote a letter using my best
writing possible. I think I just said how I wanted
to meet mister Bear.

Speaker 8 (45:04):
Hell, I want to meet mister Bay.

Speaker 1 (45:06):
I want to meet you so bad.

Speaker 6 (45:08):
And if Booby also lived in the cud.

Speaker 1 (45:13):
They all live down in the cellar. Oh next to
that green wall, we'll have a potty. So my dad
sent the letter to the address. Mister Bear said on
the show it stayed on all day anywhere for some reason. Okay, okay, man,
now he's lost me that the grammar.

Speaker 4 (45:28):
Was just now.

Speaker 1 (45:30):
That happens to me a lot. I know, I've heard,
I've heard you. I go back. I well, I just
don't wanted to think that it's because I'm impaired. Other
things are because I'm impaired, but not that.

Speaker 2 (45:43):
Not that.

Speaker 1 (45:44):
It took about a week to get a response, which
I was surprised I did. I still have the letter
I received August fifteenth, nineteen ninety nine. The letter read, voice.

Speaker 9 (46:02):
Dear stupid kid face, there's a hole in the front.
You bring your dad to I know him already.

Speaker 1 (46:15):
Thank you ever so much for your letter.

Speaker 8 (46:18):
Tickle my buttole kid.

Speaker 1 (46:19):
I would love to have your in my cellar. If
you're mean, I'd like to have you in my fruit See.

Speaker 5 (46:27):
Buddums watch Morvils on girlfire campingire camping, fire camping fire
camping is uh fire fire camping? Can I be in
style in the middle.

Speaker 1 (46:38):
You light yourself on fire and they have to pee
on you to put it out.

Speaker 8 (46:42):
That I'll buy it.

Speaker 1 (46:43):
Yeah, house on fire, house on fire, showers and yes,
Booby does a little bit, my cellar. He's a good friend.
Or mom, come to my house at the police cut
out this part of the address. Cat Down, Ontario, California.
I look very much word to your having found with you.

Speaker 3 (47:01):
You should have put like a like brackets instead redacted, awesome,
reacted redacted.

Speaker 8 (47:11):
Some Canadian c I A on this bitch.

Speaker 1 (47:14):
The Mounties. They're not that smart. They have the A files. Yeah,
it just says over over, Yeah. I want to accept them.

Speaker 8 (47:25):
We would give them health care.

Speaker 1 (47:27):
Believe in me. I cannot believe my dad never found
this sketchy because he actually took me to the house.
Your dad is a champion, and then he went around
back and put on a bear outfit.

Speaker 3 (47:37):
Her dad wanted to get you out of the house.
We get up gay, Yeah, fine, go ahead have sex
with the bear guy.

Speaker 1 (47:41):
I got stu. I want to go bowling. You go ahead,
you have fun, and then that's protection. Bring a gun
for protection. That's when the police became involved. Those endless questions,
those sextures of terrified kids, the woods, the.

Speaker 8 (47:55):
Dot all the cop sext No, we have a change
of location.

Speaker 1 (47:58):
They're actually bears in cop costumes.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
That's what's really that's awesome. It's getting deep in those.
But I'm seriously, I think you're gonna have a change
of location.

Speaker 4 (48:05):
You think? No?

Speaker 3 (48:06):
I was like, because if I'm gonna make this, like
if we want to make this into a Netflix show,
can we already have two? Well, we have locations we
have so far. We have the house, we have the
basement of the basement, We have the kids.

Speaker 1 (48:18):
We need a table donay, that's good to put that
in the reit.

Speaker 8 (48:21):
We have the friends room. We just need to find
a crappy tables one house then, I guess because if
we have we get a house that has a never mind,
we need this.

Speaker 1 (48:28):
Later, we'll just shoot it at Andrews.

Speaker 8 (48:30):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
That brings me to why I'm writing this blog.

Speaker 8 (48:34):
Are we reading a blog, thank fucking Christ, where.

Speaker 1 (48:38):
That psycho and his friend did some fucked up ship
back then?

Speaker 8 (48:43):
Are you seriously?

Speaker 1 (48:45):
And now it seems he's trying to get into contact
with me again. The entire police thing is coming back.
Round two that has brought nineteen ninety nine back to me.
Over a decade later, it's happening again. So it's even farther.

Speaker 8 (48:59):
Two thousand and nine Elliott Elliott escaped like got away.
Is that it lot wow?

Speaker 1 (49:06):
And that's where it ends, right, That's where I'm ending it.
We can end it there if you want to.

Speaker 8 (49:13):
I'm sorry, I don't know what.

Speaker 5 (49:16):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
It could be done with that.

Speaker 8 (49:18):
It's just silly. That was a weird one because it's
just like this leading up to it.

Speaker 1 (49:23):
It's the process.

Speaker 8 (49:25):
I get it, No, I trust me.

Speaker 1 (49:26):
I guess. Is that what the story is about. I
thought it was about man's in humanity to bear? No,
that's for ketchup. Ketchup is not a vegetable. That's what
tusk is about. I could see it.

Speaker 8 (49:38):
All I know is I wow.

Speaker 3 (49:40):
Just all that lead up and then so it doesn't
take place in ninety ninety nine, it takes place in
two thousand.

Speaker 1 (49:47):
If you're interested, there's only twenty one pages left. Yeah,
I'm good.

Speaker 8 (49:50):
Okay, okay, all right, eye, thank you, all right, that's it.

Speaker 1 (49:56):
That's a round. Okay, catch us on channel twenty one.

Speaker 6 (50:00):
I've only been thoroughly entertained. We entertained the living hell
out of you. And now that's why I can go
to Kanadasti for you to sends lots of money.

Speaker 7 (50:11):
The Creepy Podcast Yeah, Episode five, Story three The Basement
since noodled by d J forty.

Speaker 6 (50:24):
This creepy little pasta is called the basement. Don't go
into base movement. I'm assuming that it's supposed to be
in one in this place where it's never like the
sun room. We wait, Oh, I got so sunburned that day,

(50:48):
But the basement basement gets a bad rap. But in
all fairness, I guess not many nice things happened in
a basement. It's always like I'm gonna do this nefarious deed,
do this innocent person?

Speaker 1 (51:00):
Where should I do it?

Speaker 6 (51:04):
This place has a basement, Lucky me and unlucky you.
Let the tickling begin. I was home alone for the
week as my family had gone on vacation while I
had to stay and work. It was around two AM,

(51:24):
and I'd stayed up to watch.

Speaker 1 (51:25):
A scary movie in the dark in my basement. Why
would you do that?

Speaker 6 (51:37):
It's your house. It's not like you have the basement room.
You just decided to go watch a movie in your basement.
Nobody does that. Why would you make yourself uncomfortable when
you have a home? That doesn't make sense to me. Okay,
but that's what it says.

Speaker 1 (51:54):
Okay. I think there's some reasoning attempting to have in here.
That'see what it says. Okay.

Speaker 6 (52:03):
I was home alone for the week, as my family
had gone on vacation while I had to stay and work.
It was around two am, Comma and I'd stayed up
to watch a scary movie in the dark.

Speaker 1 (52:13):
In my basement. In my basement, I watched movies in
my basement. Do you want to come watch movies in
my basement?

Speaker 6 (52:20):
I was intent on really scaring myself and seeing how
far into terror I could really go, while still knowing
I was safe in my own home. I see, it's
very love crafting already. It was then that I heard
pounding all the neighbors. It was then that I heard
pounding footsteps on the first floor. This was a common

(52:41):
annoying occurrence when my family was home. Every time they
passed through the front hallway past the basement door, I
heard their footsteps. This time, fear immediately shot through me
at the sound My reflex was to turn the television
off immediately. The basement door was up a fly of
steps in around a corner, so whomever it was would

(53:04):
not have seen any light. I heard the basement door
handle click in turn as I sat in absolute darkness.
I moved slowly so us to be absolutely silent, Comma,
and crawled behind our large television. As I passed it
inch by inch, I noticed with panic that it's blank,

(53:25):
black black. As I passed it inch by inch, I
noted with panic that its black screen still dimly glowed.
I heard footsteps coming down the carpeted but creaky stairs.
I froze in my hiding place. Listening for many long minutes.

Speaker 1 (53:43):
I heard nothing. Had the intruder scene in television's after
groom or had.

Speaker 6 (53:47):
It faded in time? Was it standing in the pitch
dark listening for me? I seemed to lie there in
total silence for interminably harl long time. Panic began to
fade Comma and began to think, I'm more clearly down.
Could I really heard an intruder? Could someone possibly be

(54:09):
standing there in silence insidelence for so long without making
any noise?

Speaker 1 (54:21):
Is there's no one in here? Had I really heard
an intruder?

Speaker 6 (54:33):
Could someone possibly be standing there in silence for so
long without making any noise? The basement was so exceedingly
quiet that the silence itself began to hurt my ears.
Could the unknown person really avoid any noise from shuffling
or breathing or anything else?

Speaker 1 (54:50):
If there was an intruder, it was still in.

Speaker 6 (54:52):
The basement because the creaky stairs were incredibly loud. The
door handle clicked comma, and it wouldn't know a mask
its footsteps on the first floor so that they couldn't
be heard from down here in my basement, where I'm
attempting to scare myself. Because I was stupid, I began

(55:14):
counting that I'm involvement, trying to pass the time as
droul fell from my mouth under the carpet. See that
really explains a lot right there, right there. I didn't
dare risk the sound I was swallowing. I reached sixty

(55:34):
seconds once, twice, thirty times, sixty times by now, big
money second. By now my fear had faded, and I
was more confused than anything I estimated. I had been
crouched in the absolute black for almost two hours, waiting
for this plane to take off the serious they better
give us lots of extra facts of nuts come and

(55:59):
had Still I heard nothing. If there was an intruder,
None of this made sense. Finally I decided I'd have
to make a move. If I did nothing, eventually the
sun would come up Comma and shine in through the
small basement windows and comma. Whereas comma, I began to
smell something horrible and cloying.

Speaker 4 (56:20):
Ugh.

Speaker 6 (56:21):
Okay, I don't know what cloying means, but I'm not
going to stop and look it up right now. Ever,
so slowly I began inching my way towards the stairs
by way of walls. If someone was standing there in
the dark, I should be able to go around them
and then make a break up the stairs.

Speaker 1 (56:41):
Meanwhile, the horrible odor grew stronger. Odors grow as stronger.

Speaker 6 (56:49):
Had something died down there last night? I mean, seriously,
it smells like cloth died, really and don't spray that stuff.
And now it smells like corpses and roses. It smells
like fishing here. It's just disgusting. No living person would
smell like that. Terrible images of some sort of corpse
monster listening for me in the dark erupted in my thoughts, Comma,

(57:11):
and I moved as fast as I could without making
a sound.

Speaker 1 (57:17):
I'm gonna get away from the pope, Pope.

Speaker 6 (57:19):
Just as I finally approached the stairs, there was an
enormous clatter, Comma, as of something falling or collapsing on
the floor. It was at that moment I leapt forward
and crashed up the stairs, running out through the open
basement door in my wide open front door. Now certain
that someone was in the house, I called the police
for my cell phone and watched my house from a fall.

(57:41):
The police came checked inside the house Kamma, and then
grimly came back out to question me. They found a
body in the house, my elderly neighbor who seemed to
have died of a heart attack. Their belief was that
I must have left the front door unlocked, Comma, and
he must have wandered into my house while dying looking
for help.

Speaker 1 (57:59):
At first, I felt horrible, thinking.

Speaker 6 (58:02):
That I had sat there in the dark while the
old man literally died a few feet away. Then it
occurred to me what the hell was the loud noise
of things falling That last prompted me to bolt up
the stairs and out of the house. I asked the
police and they confirmed the back door of my house
had been left open as well. There a single bare

(58:22):
footprint in the mud. Somehow, for some reason I'll never know,
there was someone else in that basement with us, silent
waiting Comma and listening in the dark over the fresh.

Speaker 12 (58:34):
Corpse of an old man. Ah Rad dude, fresh corpse, dude.
I'm just gonna linger over this for a minute. Gro
just like, come on, man. You know it's my thing,
you know, fresh corpse.

Speaker 4 (58:46):
No.

Speaker 1 (58:47):
This pasta is credited two.

Speaker 6 (58:52):
M five nine gar M five nine g A R
category redapastas, beings, places, pages written.

Speaker 1 (59:05):
By Matt Dymirsky slash car.

Speaker 7 (59:17):
The Creeping Pold Justice over, I have fun sleeping with
your cousin,

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