December 11, 2024 • 32 mins
“Through discipline comes freedom.” – Aristotle, Greek philosopher
Self-control and consistent routine – all aboard the fun bus! Jordan and J.T. find themselves in a momentary state of mediocre self-discipline. How is it possible when he spent more than a decade as a calorie-counting vegetarian athlete? Jordan, a non-drinking entrepreneur with a first-degree black belt, struggles with her dormant capacity to keep her eye on the prize. Join the conversation to discover:
- Can you be disciplined if you don’t know what you want?
- The power of writing down specific, actionable goals
- What it means to “create a predictable success framework”
- Learn seven tips to boost self-discipline
- Invest in personal strengths in lieu of focusing on points of weakness
- How an accountability partner can improve personal habits
- Don’t underestimate the importance of positive self-talk and milestone moment rewards
Enjoy the conversation? Please take a moment to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW on the homepage www.letsdigintothat.com or wherever you find your podcasts. THANK YOU – your click means more than you can imagine.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey, hey, welcome back everybody.
(00:08):
This is let's dig into that where we volunteer our vulnerability because we believe sharing
our shit is the only way to shake the shame.
That is right.
This is a calling to connect and who am I connecting with today?
It is my captain of the snack around my hallmark, lovin' honey.
Ladies and gents, JT.
Thank you, baby.
That was a really good one.
(00:29):
The voice you just heard, everybody.
That's the IRA, Rother and the amazing author, the juggernaut of joy.
It's Jordan.
Everybody.
What's up?
I rode that wave.
Thank you.
Thank you.
The IRS.
I'm like, oh, I am a huge fan of compound interest.
It will come up a lot on this podcast.
(00:49):
So big fan.
I'm going to ask you just straight up.
Scala one to 10.
Oh God.
How you feel?
Yeah.
How do you how do you think you range on the scale from for self discipline?
How disciplined are you?
Self discipline.
Man, there's been times in my life where I've been very disciplined.
(01:11):
I don't have a list in mind of something that I'm trying to get.
Yeah, right.
We'll see.
This is the very beginning.
We'll see.
Um, man, at this moment in my life, I'd give myself like a six.
Okay.
Yeah.
Not not super solid.
I can think back to my, you know, athlete, athletics really make you be disciplined and
(01:32):
teach you discipline.
And so, um, yeah, I've been a very disciplined person.
I was a vegetarian for 12 years.
You know what I mean?
Point.
Um, but yeah, this is a really interesting right back at you.
Where would you put yourself if I'm a six?
Where are you sitting?
I'm loving that six gave me like, okay, he's doing some truth telling because if you'd
rolled up here with a nine, I'd be like, who are we talking about?
(01:55):
I'm with you on its hard, most impossible not to compare to a time in your life where
self discipline felt like one of your descriptors.
And I, I was, I have a black belt in karate.
There was a time.
Yeah.
Talk about discipline.
Yeah.
Some straight A's and yeah, they're again, living under your parents roof though, I feel
that's a bit of a cheat.
(02:16):
So scale of one to 10, I'll play along as well.
I think currently I'm in the midst of a bit of a struggle.
And so I think I'm going to tie you there with like, I'm in the six range, but I have
the capacity.
Damn it.
And that's what sucks is I'm a six, but I know I could be, I'm even going to say like
a five, seven, five, because I know I could do better.
(02:37):
Okay.
Well, here's another question.
I mean, this is a pretty vast category for a discussion.
How would you define self discipline?
Well, I think excellent point because how would I define it?
And so, cause let me quick caveat on, I want to blame my five, seven, five on you that
(02:59):
my self discipline struggle for some reason.
So glad you said it.
That's why I think I wanted to flesh this out in a safe place because yes, if self discipline
for our intense of this chat today, prioritizing the longterm goals over immediate gratification,
requiring that you overcome temptations and hold yourself accountable.
(03:23):
Instant gratification is a motherfucker.
Pardon my language.
I don't, yeah.
I'll accept it.
You've just got my mind spin a little bit.
I'm kind of stuttering a touch because I'm sitting here thinking like, I'm a six, you're
a five point, 75.
What would you score us as a couple on the things that we work together on?
(03:45):
Hmm.
Higher.
I do think that yes, because I think hopefully that's if your relationship is set up in a
way where you, I want to do push it extra.
I want to achieve those goals.
Right.
Cause that's what the self discipline, I do have another definition that I kind of like.
It's actively incorporating self control and consistent behaviors in a daily routine.
(04:08):
So it's every day.
And so that's where the self element, cause I'm in charge of my person, but relationship
wise, I feel like the discipline is maybe those deadlines are like, man, like for example,
having this, you know, getting preparation for the work we're doing together for book
deadlines that we have set in place, you know, put in place for ourselves that I think I'm
more apt to hold myself to that than right certain self goals.
(04:32):
Gotcha.
Yeah.
I like that sort of making conscious choices that align with your longterm goals is sort
of how I would think of self discipline before we got into this discussion of like, it's
almost a giant category because when I think discipline, I instantly go to goal setting.
Right.
(04:53):
You know what I mean?
Like why are you doing?
What's the point?
Right.
Can you even be disciplined if you don't know what you want?
Oh, not really.
Right.
Right.
What do I want to achieve?
Like if you're right, cause what's the reason to set the alarm for the time and put the
money in the place and do all of that if there's not something you're aiming.
Right.
You kind of have to like step one is what do you want?
(05:15):
What are you trying to achieve here?
You know, and so like I, when I hear discipline, I instantly go to goal setting.
Yeah.
And it does seem like discipline makes me think I need to get organized.
So goals and I want to need a list.
I mean, pen and paper.
And so let's get this down.
Cause yeah, I don't think this is, I didn't want to come at you hard, but I feel this
one thought that I had.
I'm like, is self-discipline just like the absolute courage to be disliked?
(05:39):
Like I'm not doing that.
I'm doing me.
I think that that's a huge element of it.
Absolutely.
It's because we put the self before discipline in this conversation and to be self-discipline.
Absolutely.
That's, that's a huge part of it is you have to kind of not care what other people are
thinking because you're prioritizing.
(06:00):
I think that's an important word when we're talking.
You're prioritizing what you need to get.
And again, goal setting boundaries.
That's another huge element of self-discipline.
Right?
So maybe it's a reach.
I agree.
But the courage to be disliked, what would you rate us as a couple?
Would you think we would be more?
Yeah, I was surprised.
(06:20):
Our rate is two sixes bring us to a four.
Cause I kind of do have that thought process.
And I again, don't want to start a fight on our podcast.
I do.
It's time.
It's time.
Yeah.
I mean, we've been, we're authors first.
We're writers and I can't think of something that you want to do that requires more self-discipline.
(06:41):
You're on your own time.
You don't have a boss breathing down your neck.
Like being a writer requires self-discipline and our writing isn't in the world yet.
It's getting there.
There's pieces that, yes, we are working to hone and I do.
Now I'm blaming you and my dogs and I love them, but they are a massive dischar...
But it is, we have, I feel very lucky that we can talk about it that in the past like
(07:05):
48 hours, I'm like, it's fine.
I am a morning.
I can, I don't necessarily need to socialize and chit chat, but I like to process and kind
of I like to see the sun come up.
I'm very okay with that.
And I think that might be my window of time where I actually have the power of self.
And these dinks are not just following me around my house and dinks.
(07:27):
I'm including present company.
I'm aware.
I'm like, I'm not going to do that.
But oh, and so yeah, that is so true that I think my self-discipline in that area is
like, I would put that at the very top is my creative work.
The desire I have is that fire burns so hot that it feels like nothing else matters sometimes
(07:47):
because it's bottled up in there.
I get that.
And so when I was thinking about as a couple, you and I in our self-discipline, I was very
much thinking about a lot of the projects that we work on together.
And sometimes that those can take a backseat.
So I was to everyday life, you know, we have to clean our house.
We have to clean our windows.
There's life happens.
(08:07):
And sometimes we don't get to these big projects.
And so that's where my mind went.
We're like, man, the distractions element is so massive.
Absolutely.
Yes.
And we have very loving community where like phones ding a lot.
And that's a, it's problematic to a focused, you know, train of thought.
I think it's interesting where I, in the terms of our relationship dynamic that, oh, interesting.
(08:31):
Sorry about that.
But that, um, yeah, exactly.
That how self-control in a relationship, if you told me like, um, I've got great self-control
if we were in the dating, getting to know one another face versus like, I'm pretty disciplined.
I have this sort of routine.
I would have like self-control would bring up sort of a pseudo red flag for me.
(08:55):
Like, oh, so he is or she or whomever I'm seeing at the moment, but this person is likely
to prioritize themselves over any relationship in a boundary setting world.
That could be pretty darn healthy.
Exactly right.
I'm not sure that's a bad thing.
Yeah.
What did you take on self-control?
Because it was part of that different definition of incorporating self-control.
(09:16):
And I think that self-control is a part of discipline because going back to what I already
said was an MF or, you know, really that, uh, instant gratification devil that can be
a part of our lives.
Self-control for me is more of an in the moment impulse control kind of thing.
And so if I was meeting someone new and they're like, Oh, I'm very self-controlled, I immediately
(09:39):
think, Oh, okay.
They don't think they're impulsive.
They don't make on the fly spontaneous decisions.
They're more of a planner.
That's where my head goes as opposed to, Oh, they're self-involved.
I go, they're not impulsive.
And being able to manage and control your impulses is a big part of being self-disciplined.
(09:59):
You know what I mean?
So that's, that's the difference in how I would sort of categorize those things as self-discipline
is a stepping stone to becoming a disciplined person.
Yeah.
First state.
Self-control moment.
If this person said, well, I'm very disciplined.
I'd be like, wow, they could help.
Like I would see, I could really, you know, potentially could work out together or read
(10:20):
these books, you know, like I could maybe connect if somebody was like self-control is like,
Oh, they've ruined dessert for me forever.
Like they're going to just be fun hater.
Yeah.
Like self-control does not get me hot and bothered in the slightest.
I'm with you.
But it's a part of, yeah, I do think I have self-control because you of the two of us,
I think instant gratification is more your trigger, like your quick trigger on the, Oh,
(10:43):
I could be the haver of that where I am an anticipation junkie where I can.
If I, the goal is juicy, I can play the long game.
I believe that.
Absolutely.
It's hard for me to get our mind off of the projects that we've been working together.
And so I'm not, I'm not trying to start an argument, but like taking time away from earning
(11:07):
a steady income in the hopes of selling a book or a long-term goal like that, that could
be more financially beneficial.
That's a situation that we're currently in.
That's a really big struggle, right?
So you want to clarify slightly for me?
(11:27):
You're being so polite and I don't think you need to be.
We stress out all the time about, you know, our finances and where, where things come
from the next time we need to make money.
We've made some unique conscious decisions.
We need to make money now as opposed to, man, if we really hit this hard and it could be
way bigger and way better than anything we could do right now.
(11:48):
It's so hard in the moment.
Yes.
You are completely spot on that it does.
Yeah.
The instant gratification of the immediate need, right?
Those priorities where we are still looking at the, and I have a tendency to be like,
I'm a great multitasker and that is still taking away.
That is not a disciplined behavior.
(12:09):
And so I'm, I'm glad that you pointed that out because I also love that you opened with
my Roth IRA intro because I am very protective of my nugget.
And so yeah, I do think it is important that the finances are a part of that goal.
And so yeah, there's a lot of, we have a goal that we've set together.
And when we're not actively working on it, which again would be the instant gratification
(12:33):
part of that.
It's so stressful.
Disconnect major and the tensions are high and I've been a little nasty and it is not
like I have self-proclaimed like whatever this is is not a good look because I do have
and it is coming from this like this needed to be talked about because it is I don't feel
that I have control.
(12:53):
Like I'm really good.
I make my bed.
I do.
I mean, ask me how many pushups I've done pushups every day.
I don't do a ton.
You are very self-disciplined.
Think about your cousins and what you like accountability.
That's an excellent one.
Yes.
You have this pack.
I have the power.
Yeah.
I'm so glad you brought that.
I do have amazing cousins that we have for a couple of years plus at this point where
(13:19):
we send a daily emoji.
So long story, very short, first of the month.
These are my own personal three goals that I'm throwing out there that are daily practice.
So the discipline check and then we send a little just dorky, whatever we pick emoji.
So there's no, I won't get reamed for not doing it.
I won't get any sort of flak.
(13:39):
I receive this, you know, here's the, can I interrupt you?
Yes, here's the real question.
So you pick an emoji for the month for your goals.
And if you hit all three of those goals, you send that emoji.
I send it three times.
So what happens when you get those three emojis and you haven't hit your goals?
I usually say curse word of like, and I usually text back with a like awesome, nice, get it.
(14:02):
And so it is a good pump up, but it does motivate me to like dropping, give me 20 is a real thing
that I do.
So as I do myself love, I talk nice to myself and gratitudes that I have a little and that's
one of my emojis.
And so it is really motivating, but I also love that it's not.
Yeah, there's no reaming because it's so important with self discipline to keep a positive.
(14:24):
I can't shame myself into doing better.
Right.
Because guess it's negative reinforcement.
We already talked about that in our with your, with a doctor.
Dr. Patty Timpleton Smith.
Shout out.
But negative reinforcement does is it can change the behavior in the moment, but has
no long term effect whatsoever.
Right.
Which does remind me of the strengths.
(14:45):
I think that's such an interesting point of self discipline.
Like if you can pump yourself up, you're more likely to continue doing these positive habits,
routines, et cetera.
Absolutely.
It is like the base of trauma informed care that you strengthen strengths because guess
what?
Those areas that might be a deficit work right along with it.
And so when I think of self discipline in that terms is like, if you get really practiced
(15:08):
and you get good at achieving your goals, following the steps to get to where you want
to go, when shit hits the fan, you're better prepared to handle it.
You're equipped because you've been sharpening your strengths.
Does that make sense?
The self discipline of not having the reaction that you can't take that is up in flames.
And I think that's so cool because I feel like our education system is like not to do
(15:32):
a general, maybe this is a negative comment I'm throwing out here, but it's a tricky system.
And I know all these kiddos deserve absolute best education, but it is so hard when we
spend time, you need to get this math or this history lesson through your skull before we
can move on.
Right.
When this kid is a rock star, love science, can't get enough biology nut and lean in, lean
(15:57):
in.
And I understand that's an impossibility.
And so this is nothing but mad props.
But I do think there's a lot of power in self like honing your craft where it's like, I
feel better when I like for those that non-drinking AA like prayers are a big deal and having
absolutely that sort of.
Well, since you brought up AA, I mean, in the preamble, they're about discipline a little
(16:19):
bit.
Yeah, but in preamble, they say something is progress over perfection.
That's really, I think what self discipline is about is you have something that's measurable
and you see your progress and you're okay with it moving in these slow steps.
That really is part of discipline is like, it's not going to happen all at once.
This takes patience, that self control element.
(16:42):
Patience is a huge part of self discipline.
I'm not great.
I'm not great.
Yes.
Well, I think we've established that we're not super disciplined people in our lives
right now in certain elements.
But what do you think it is that creates this disconnect of where in some elements of my
life I am crazy disciplined and in other elements I have zero discipline at all.
(17:03):
I have ice cream every night.
Every night.
I'm an ice cream junkie.
I made a song about it.
You did write a song about it.
We will re-release that track ice cream junkie and I share that weakness and so I do like
a little something sweet.
But why do you think we have that disconnect?
Is it priorities?
Is that because you're?
I don't know.
I mean, that's such a comfort.
(17:24):
There's so much depth in why do we eat ice cream?
Like, is that a hug that you needed that day?
Is that a color?
Again, we justify that you're like, it's just protein.
It's protein.
That's how I justify it a lot.
And so I'm it's a curiosity because again, knowing that I have the capacity for like
(17:44):
showing up and getting it done.
But I think that's what the discipline is of reminding myself just to keep showing up.
And so where I'm not patient, I am good at taking the reminder to not be discouraging
to myself.
I can I can grab grab onto that and run with it on.
I can be the pump up height man of little goals.
But that's so true when you're like, I'm training for this marathon and you have this 10 mile
(18:08):
day and your knee feels a little sore and you don't run.
You're like, screw it, screw the whole damn thing.
I'm out not doing this anymore.
Like that just sucks.
And so having an accountability partner can be so helpful in that moment to be like, no,
no, no, we're in this.
Yeah.
I want to take the day and get better.
Athletics.
When I was training, I ran a marathon.
I actually run a couple of marathons.
(18:29):
I followed training regiments and at no point in that training regiment that I ever run
more than 13 miles at one time.
Yes.
But I got to run 26 on the race day.
So I only did a half.
So I only did a half and so the longest run day, I believe was 11 and half being 13.2
(18:49):
miles, I think 13.1.
And yeah, I don't have a need to do that.
I can, I wish that I could go back and see what I googled like running half marathon
for woman who despises running and just can't because I'm like, yeah, I'm not a treadmill
person.
I played soccer, but like, yeah, it took a push and a wingman.
(19:11):
And yeah, that is self-discipline.
So not I'm not going to run a marathon in 2025 just to go on record.
But if I could set a morning writing regimen, I would get such fulfillment from that.
I know.
And that's, that's the thing that we know it, but we're not disciplined enough to do
it.
(19:31):
So, so I had to look at looking, I did some research too.
I knew we were going to talk about this.
It's going to come up.
There are seven suggestions, things that you can do in your life that can potentially
make you a more disciplined person.
I got these off of the calm app and I really like the calm app.
Braun James did their ads at first, but I really thought they did a good job with these.
(19:53):
And so I'm just going to kind of throw them out to you and see what you think.
First one, we sort of already talked about this.
I love how many we've hit just in this conversation because they're kind of flipping this over
for the first time since I looked at it originally.
First one is clear goals.
Gotta have clear, clear set goals, which is where my head went almost instantly.
One honest about your own limitations.
(20:16):
I think that's really good.
And like, I'm a snoozer, right?
You hate my alarm clock.
I snoozing is dumb.
I don't.
If you're going to get up later, just...
It's one of the areas where I'm not very disciplined.
And I understand some people have their, like that's a, could be a, how you wake up lovely
time.
But what I love about this is if you're honest about your limitations, you can actually take
(20:37):
action to do something about them.
For instance, an alarm clock, move it to the other side of the room.
If you're a snoozer, like, there you go.
Like you can act, if you notice and can be honest about your limitations, you can then
take action to do something about them.
So that was number two, number three, prioritize planning.
I don't think I'm great at this one.
(20:59):
I think you're much better at planning than I am.
That's the step I usually skip.
Yes.
Much like your camping opinion, when you're like, I don't have the setup or the breakdown,
also the like planning.
I do think that you don't like.
I just want to go to the woods.
Yes.
Okay.
(21:19):
Yep.
Go to the woods with a bag of marshmallows and he said, so planning.
Yes.
And especially, I think there's an excellent point there of like the decision fatigue.
Because if you plan like having to make...
Oh man.
Like there's sometimes we've all been there when they're like, what do you want for dinner
and your face is just like food.
(21:40):
Hand me food.
Yeah.
Like you're like, I am on survival fumes right now.
And so if you can set up a framework of little tiny successes and shit that's already planned
in your day that is a product of discipline.
I'm going to give you a ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Cause guess what number four is?
Break your goals into actionable steps.
(22:02):
Big fan.
Yeah.
Like you can achieve things.
That's how you can achieve things.
You don't like have your milestone moments.
The little things you're like, okay, I'm here.
And then you can celebrate it.
Exactly.
Reward yourself.
Pretty sure that's on here too.
Okay.
So what I'm learning from this is I know all of them.
I'm doing little.
This is cool.
Yes.
Number five, accountability partners.
(22:24):
Your cousins.
I was going to say a long clock with the snooze.
I do know one of my cousins that she does an awesome smile meditation in bed and stretches
and wakes her body up and her mind in a very positive, peaceful way.
I've tried.
I know that.
She's a badass.
Yeah.
Shout out DC.
Yeah.
And so I wake up sometimes like a rage pirate.
(22:48):
And so I haven't done the smile meditation.
She's afraid my bed will burst into flames.
And so yeah, keep going.
Keep going.
King.
Number six, reward your progress.
I'm really good at this.
Yes.
I don't think we struggle there.
And number seven, I think this one's pretty important.
Have a plan B.
No, no, what you're going to do if you don't achieve some of these goals, have like your
(23:11):
lower track.
What is the Z's line?
I always advise others to take the high road gives me more blue room on the low.
Exactly.
And then I'm not saying like shoot low, but make sure that your goals are achievable.
And that's sort of what I think that's saying is like, sometimes you're still going to shoot
too high.
Make sure that you have that secondary course that still sort of fills your cup.
(23:34):
Yes.
Is that number seven?
Can I add one just for myself?
That's what we need is just more rules.
I was just saying, we want to be more disciplined.
These are things that I want to put into action in my life.
The last one is write it down.
If I if I put goals in my head, I can change them whenever I want.
If I write it down, it makes it real.
That is true.
(23:55):
Our accountability text thread starts on the first with a bullet point of these are my
three best set intentions.
Yes.
I'm going to give it hell.
And so writing it down.
It's so true and having.
Yeah, you literally would have to cross it out and like, I don't know about you, but
when I'm writing on a piece of paper handwriting, I like to make it look nice.
If I'm crossing something out, I'm usually tearing the page out, you know, so real having
(24:17):
shit and writing.
Did I tell you about when I asked a guy for his to bring a resume in college?
No, date.
It was my buddy, Nick.
Yeah.
You want to bring a resume?
We were friends already.
I was like, you got to up the game.
Why would I invest in the next level?
And so it was a more of an interview.
Got you.
It was a hoot.
But that doesn't surprise me at all.
(24:38):
So Aristotle, if you've heard of him, not a buddy from college, Greek philosopher, but
through discipline comes freedom.
And so first time I saw that I was like, ha, ha, ha, freedom's what I want.
But how could that make any sense?
And I think that you just hit on the points that it gives you a clear path that makes
(24:58):
by default, if you're moving forward on that path, those distractions are falling away
at a quicker pace.
And at the end, that freedom is you are getting what you want because you know what it is
that you want coming back to your O.G. question.
You've clearly defined what it is you want and how to work towards it.
So what I want is quiet space and in paper.
(25:19):
Yes, apparently.
Well, to put some more trending in today's times terms to what you're saying, when you
really get good at being disciplined and you are a disciplined person in your life, you
gain two things that I think are incredibly important.
The first one's mental clarity.
And that's exactly what the Aristotle quote is referring to is we now have an understanding
(25:41):
of what we want and how to get there.
Kind of knowing myself.
That's huge.
You know what I mean?
That's.
And then the second one is emotional resilience.
And that goes back to that strengthening strengths.
You're prepared when the shit hits the fan.
Absolutely.
You've done the work to make sure when you get off course, you know how to get back on
(26:01):
it.
And that's where like when I'm sitting here thinking about in moments of my life, I've
been extremely disciplined, but in other areas and maybe right now, not so much.
I know how to get back, but I haven't been practicing discipline.
And so it's harder.
And it's like the harder you're not disciplined.
The longer you're not disciplined, the harder it is to get back into it back in the flow.
(26:24):
And so when you are disciplined, you have this emotional resilience to really combat
what comes your way and get back on track to what you're working towards.
So that's those are sort of the takes takeaways.
I hope you feel like role reversal that I'm this is usually your line of man, I wish you
could see because you're actually quite disciplined.
I see these moments and so, but it's so cool and dynamic to be driven to one.
(26:50):
I want to kind of hone that area because again, I think that it threatens my fun.
And so, but I also understand I use the word fulfillment and I obviously wrote this calm
list of all the things that are going to set you up for success.
And so I think that's great.
Thank you for sharing that.
Did you ever have a coach or a teacher use the smart?
(27:11):
Oh, yeah, specific, specific, so smart goal setting is what they called it.
Really specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time based is the way I learned it.
Yes, what was I had realistic or realistic?
I think was that one I have that's right.
I think that that's a really, really great tool to kind of see acronym smart goals,
(27:35):
smart specific, measurable, achievable, relevant or realistic time based.
I think that that's a great little tool to use.
Like if you want to be more disciplined in your life, that's a great place to start.
Don't you think?
Yeah.
And I heard that in third grade.
Every coach I've ever played for has why not implement now the seven pieces and smart
(27:56):
proper just preparation prevents poor performance.
You ever heard that one?
Of course.
Of course.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think it is.
It's about that balance.
But yeah, the morning routine, I think is that sacred time and that can set you up again.
I think the decision fatigue at the end of the day where it's like the discipline where
(28:17):
it even like ties into your ice cream where at the end of the day, if I am just gassed,
I'm like, yeah, I want something that comes in its own container.
Right.
Like all required.
And so, yeah, having a little more energy to make.
I want to be more proactive in my life.
And that seems like so.
Is that the one area like we're getting close on our time limit here?
(28:39):
Are you?
If you have advertisers hold us to a tight clock.
If you had to pick an area like what after this conversation today right now, what is
it that you'd like to be more disciplined on?
Is it that morning routine that you want to craft and home?
It is because all my monthly goals this month are all possible in the morning.
(29:00):
And I'm also doing those in the usually with a quick profanity when I'm like, oh, shit,
I didn't.
And so I'll get back out of bed and finish my pushups or whatever.
That's a silly example, but that is usually the one that I'm like, oh, I'll knock those
out.
No problem later.
And I'm like, how many pushups did you do last year?
I don't know.
So I made it just as a funny little let's see.
(29:20):
I was testing my discipline probably and I was like, it's 2023.
I'm going to do 23 because Michael Jordan's number.
Come on.
And my name obviously is Jordan.
And so it seemed like the only option.
And so I was like, I'll do 23 pushups a day and that was kind of fun.
And you did it every day.
Well, there were times when I would do like a double next down.
(29:41):
And there were definitely days that I did more, but I definitely exceeded a 23 a day
goal for sure.
So 23 times.
And it's December and 24.
And I am rolling.
And so yeah, but it does when I do those, I think about, have I done my gratitude today?
And if I already have, it's like, oh man, that was so nice.
(30:02):
I will revisit so it's become a really positive.
So setting yourself, that's what I need is the positive nuggets, those little milestone
moments.
And so I can be an accountability captain in this house, but I know you can.
And that's, that's the punchline of all this is I think everyone has had times in their
life where they were really disciplined.
And it's about getting back into that routine.
(30:23):
What's the opposite?
Like what is that phase called?
Are you lazy?
No.
Are you lazy?
This would maybe fall indifferent, indifference, I think is much more of the culprit.
Yikes, cause yeah, self-discipline, like you said, like kind of knowing myself was.
And so yeah, having literally no say.
And again, that instant gratification goes into that as well where, you know, I don't
(30:46):
care enough to do that right now cause I'm enjoying what I'm doing.
You're getting that instant gratification.
That's the goal that that's the, how I want to be more disciplined is I want to take away
the TV time that I really soak in.
Cause in reality, when it comes to watching TV.
I love to watch my sports teams, but everything else doesn't need to happen.
(31:07):
I just kind of don't want to do the other things I could be doing.
Sure.
And I think, yeah, that's an interesting one, like how you spend your time.
Yeah.
That's another content.
What are you exposed to in a day?
Oh man.
Okay.
Well, on indifference and laziness.
(31:28):
This has been really great.
No, I'm excited.
So I think that it's nice to have the conversation too, cause I'd like to be an encouraging force.
I think this is a good conversation for couples to have cause it really helps you sort of
align your goals together and your goals on your own.
Yeah.
So like first date for the last, we'll just wrap that one up.
So you asked me how self disciplined I am and I'd be like, I need you.
(31:50):
Crisis mode.
Please help.
So all right.
Well, great.
Gentle with yourself.
Celebrate the milestones.
Love it.
Absolutely.
So I think it's really great at discipline and you will have more mental clarity and more
emotional resistance, resilience.
Sorry.
Hey, you know what?
You will be in such a state that you can decide.
(32:10):
They will let you decide if you want emotional resistance or resilience, because you will
have that sort of discipline.
Absolutely.
All right.
Thanks for chatting with me.
Of course.
Great conversation.
I'm JT and I'm Jordan.
Have a great afternoon.
Hey, hey, welcome back everybody.
(00:08):
This is let's dig into that where we volunteer our vulnerability because we believe sharing
our shit is the only way to shake the shame.
That is right.
This is a calling to connect and who am I connecting with today?
It is my captain of the snack around my hallmark, lovin' honey.
Ladies and gents, JT.
Thank you, baby.
That was a really good one.
(00:29):
The voice you just heard, everybody.
That's the IRA, Rother and the amazing author, the juggernaut of joy.
It's Jordan.
Everybody.
What's up?
I rode that wave.
Thank you.
Thank you.
The IRS.
I'm like, oh, I am a huge fan of compound interest.
It will come up a lot on this podcast.
(00:49):
So big fan.
I'm going to ask you just straight up.
Scala one to 10.
Oh God.
How you feel?
Yeah.
How do you how do you think you range on the scale from for self discipline?
How disciplined are you?
Self discipline.
Man, there's been times in my life where I've been very disciplined.
(01:11):
I don't have a list in mind of something that I'm trying to get.
Yeah, right.
We'll see.
This is the very beginning.
We'll see.
Um, man, at this moment in my life, I'd give myself like a six.
Okay.
Yeah.
Not not super solid.
I can think back to my, you know, athlete, athletics really make you be disciplined and
(01:32):
teach you discipline.
And so, um, yeah, I've been a very disciplined person.
I was a vegetarian for 12 years.
You know what I mean?
Point.
Um, but yeah, this is a really interesting right back at you.
Where would you put yourself if I'm a six?
Where are you sitting?
I'm loving that six gave me like, okay, he's doing some truth telling because if you'd
rolled up here with a nine, I'd be like, who are we talking about?
(01:55):
I'm with you on its hard, most impossible not to compare to a time in your life where
self discipline felt like one of your descriptors.
And I, I was, I have a black belt in karate.
There was a time.
Yeah.
Talk about discipline.
Yeah.
Some straight A's and yeah, they're again, living under your parents roof though, I feel
that's a bit of a cheat.
(02:16):
So scale of one to 10, I'll play along as well.
I think currently I'm in the midst of a bit of a struggle.
And so I think I'm going to tie you there with like, I'm in the six range, but I have
the capacity.
Damn it.
And that's what sucks is I'm a six, but I know I could be, I'm even going to say like
a five, seven, five, because I know I could do better.
(02:37):
Okay.
Well, here's another question.
I mean, this is a pretty vast category for a discussion.
How would you define self discipline?
Well, I think excellent point because how would I define it?
And so, cause let me quick caveat on, I want to blame my five, seven, five on you that
(02:59):
my self discipline struggle for some reason.
So glad you said it.
That's why I think I wanted to flesh this out in a safe place because yes, if self discipline
for our intense of this chat today, prioritizing the longterm goals over immediate gratification,
requiring that you overcome temptations and hold yourself accountable.
(03:23):
Instant gratification is a motherfucker.
Pardon my language.
I don't, yeah.
I'll accept it.
You've just got my mind spin a little bit.
I'm kind of stuttering a touch because I'm sitting here thinking like, I'm a six, you're
a five point, 75.
What would you score us as a couple on the things that we work together on?
(03:45):
Hmm.
Higher.
I do think that yes, because I think hopefully that's if your relationship is set up in a
way where you, I want to do push it extra.
I want to achieve those goals.
Right.
Cause that's what the self discipline, I do have another definition that I kind of like.
It's actively incorporating self control and consistent behaviors in a daily routine.
(04:08):
So it's every day.
And so that's where the self element, cause I'm in charge of my person, but relationship
wise, I feel like the discipline is maybe those deadlines are like, man, like for example,
having this, you know, getting preparation for the work we're doing together for book
deadlines that we have set in place, you know, put in place for ourselves that I think I'm
more apt to hold myself to that than right certain self goals.
(04:32):
Gotcha.
Yeah.
I like that sort of making conscious choices that align with your longterm goals is sort
of how I would think of self discipline before we got into this discussion of like, it's
almost a giant category because when I think discipline, I instantly go to goal setting.
Right.
(04:53):
You know what I mean?
Like why are you doing?
What's the point?
Right.
Can you even be disciplined if you don't know what you want?
Oh, not really.
Right.
Right.
What do I want to achieve?
Like if you're right, cause what's the reason to set the alarm for the time and put the
money in the place and do all of that if there's not something you're aiming.
Right.
You kind of have to like step one is what do you want?
(05:15):
What are you trying to achieve here?
You know, and so like I, when I hear discipline, I instantly go to goal setting.
Yeah.
And it does seem like discipline makes me think I need to get organized.
So goals and I want to need a list.
I mean, pen and paper.
And so let's get this down.
Cause yeah, I don't think this is, I didn't want to come at you hard, but I feel this
one thought that I had.
I'm like, is self-discipline just like the absolute courage to be disliked?
(05:39):
Like I'm not doing that.
I'm doing me.
I think that that's a huge element of it.
Absolutely.
It's because we put the self before discipline in this conversation and to be self-discipline.
Absolutely.
That's, that's a huge part of it is you have to kind of not care what other people are
thinking because you're prioritizing.
(06:00):
I think that's an important word when we're talking.
You're prioritizing what you need to get.
And again, goal setting boundaries.
That's another huge element of self-discipline.
Right?
So maybe it's a reach.
I agree.
But the courage to be disliked, what would you rate us as a couple?
Would you think we would be more?
Yeah, I was surprised.
(06:20):
Our rate is two sixes bring us to a four.
Cause I kind of do have that thought process.
And I again, don't want to start a fight on our podcast.
I do.
It's time.
It's time.
Yeah.
I mean, we've been, we're authors first.
We're writers and I can't think of something that you want to do that requires more self-discipline.
(06:41):
You're on your own time.
You don't have a boss breathing down your neck.
Like being a writer requires self-discipline and our writing isn't in the world yet.
It's getting there.
There's pieces that, yes, we are working to hone and I do.
Now I'm blaming you and my dogs and I love them, but they are a massive dischar...
But it is, we have, I feel very lucky that we can talk about it that in the past like
(07:05):
48 hours, I'm like, it's fine.
I am a morning.
I can, I don't necessarily need to socialize and chit chat, but I like to process and kind
of I like to see the sun come up.
I'm very okay with that.
And I think that might be my window of time where I actually have the power of self.
And these dinks are not just following me around my house and dinks.
(07:27):
I'm including present company.
I'm aware.
I'm like, I'm not going to do that.
But oh, and so yeah, that is so true that I think my self-discipline in that area is
like, I would put that at the very top is my creative work.
The desire I have is that fire burns so hot that it feels like nothing else matters sometimes
(07:47):
because it's bottled up in there.
I get that.
And so when I was thinking about as a couple, you and I in our self-discipline, I was very
much thinking about a lot of the projects that we work on together.
And sometimes that those can take a backseat.
So I was to everyday life, you know, we have to clean our house.
We have to clean our windows.
There's life happens.
(08:07):
And sometimes we don't get to these big projects.
And so that's where my mind went.
We're like, man, the distractions element is so massive.
Absolutely.
Yes.
And we have very loving community where like phones ding a lot.
And that's a, it's problematic to a focused, you know, train of thought.
I think it's interesting where I, in the terms of our relationship dynamic that, oh, interesting.
(08:31):
Sorry about that.
But that, um, yeah, exactly.
That how self-control in a relationship, if you told me like, um, I've got great self-control
if we were in the dating, getting to know one another face versus like, I'm pretty disciplined.
I have this sort of routine.
I would have like self-control would bring up sort of a pseudo red flag for me.
(08:55):
Like, oh, so he is or she or whomever I'm seeing at the moment, but this person is likely
to prioritize themselves over any relationship in a boundary setting world.
That could be pretty darn healthy.
Exactly right.
I'm not sure that's a bad thing.
Yeah.
What did you take on self-control?
Because it was part of that different definition of incorporating self-control.
(09:16):
And I think that self-control is a part of discipline because going back to what I already
said was an MF or, you know, really that, uh, instant gratification devil that can be
a part of our lives.
Self-control for me is more of an in the moment impulse control kind of thing.
And so if I was meeting someone new and they're like, Oh, I'm very self-controlled, I immediately
(09:39):
think, Oh, okay.
They don't think they're impulsive.
They don't make on the fly spontaneous decisions.
They're more of a planner.
That's where my head goes as opposed to, Oh, they're self-involved.
I go, they're not impulsive.
And being able to manage and control your impulses is a big part of being self-disciplined.
(09:59):
You know what I mean?
So that's, that's the difference in how I would sort of categorize those things as self-discipline
is a stepping stone to becoming a disciplined person.
Yeah.
First state.
Self-control moment.
If this person said, well, I'm very disciplined.
I'd be like, wow, they could help.
Like I would see, I could really, you know, potentially could work out together or read
(10:20):
these books, you know, like I could maybe connect if somebody was like self-control is like,
Oh, they've ruined dessert for me forever.
Like they're going to just be fun hater.
Yeah.
Like self-control does not get me hot and bothered in the slightest.
I'm with you.
But it's a part of, yeah, I do think I have self-control because you of the two of us,
I think instant gratification is more your trigger, like your quick trigger on the, Oh,
(10:43):
I could be the haver of that where I am an anticipation junkie where I can.
If I, the goal is juicy, I can play the long game.
I believe that.
Absolutely.
It's hard for me to get our mind off of the projects that we've been working together.
And so I'm not, I'm not trying to start an argument, but like taking time away from earning
(11:07):
a steady income in the hopes of selling a book or a long-term goal like that, that could
be more financially beneficial.
That's a situation that we're currently in.
That's a really big struggle, right?
So you want to clarify slightly for me?
(11:27):
You're being so polite and I don't think you need to be.
We stress out all the time about, you know, our finances and where, where things come
from the next time we need to make money.
We've made some unique conscious decisions.
We need to make money now as opposed to, man, if we really hit this hard and it could be
way bigger and way better than anything we could do right now.
(11:48):
It's so hard in the moment.
Yes.
You are completely spot on that it does.
Yeah.
The instant gratification of the immediate need, right?
Those priorities where we are still looking at the, and I have a tendency to be like,
I'm a great multitasker and that is still taking away.
That is not a disciplined behavior.
(12:09):
And so I'm, I'm glad that you pointed that out because I also love that you opened with
my Roth IRA intro because I am very protective of my nugget.
And so yeah, I do think it is important that the finances are a part of that goal.
And so yeah, there's a lot of, we have a goal that we've set together.
And when we're not actively working on it, which again would be the instant gratification
(12:33):
part of that.
It's so stressful.
Disconnect major and the tensions are high and I've been a little nasty and it is not
like I have self-proclaimed like whatever this is is not a good look because I do have
and it is coming from this like this needed to be talked about because it is I don't feel
that I have control.
(12:53):
Like I'm really good.
I make my bed.
I do.
I mean, ask me how many pushups I've done pushups every day.
I don't do a ton.
You are very self-disciplined.
Think about your cousins and what you like accountability.
That's an excellent one.
Yes.
You have this pack.
I have the power.
Yeah.
I'm so glad you brought that.
I do have amazing cousins that we have for a couple of years plus at this point where
(13:19):
we send a daily emoji.
So long story, very short, first of the month.
These are my own personal three goals that I'm throwing out there that are daily practice.
So the discipline check and then we send a little just dorky, whatever we pick emoji.
So there's no, I won't get reamed for not doing it.
I won't get any sort of flak.
(13:39):
I receive this, you know, here's the, can I interrupt you?
Yes, here's the real question.
So you pick an emoji for the month for your goals.
And if you hit all three of those goals, you send that emoji.
I send it three times.
So what happens when you get those three emojis and you haven't hit your goals?
I usually say curse word of like, and I usually text back with a like awesome, nice, get it.
(14:02):
And so it is a good pump up, but it does motivate me to like dropping, give me 20 is a real thing
that I do.
So as I do myself love, I talk nice to myself and gratitudes that I have a little and that's
one of my emojis.
And so it is really motivating, but I also love that it's not.
Yeah, there's no reaming because it's so important with self discipline to keep a positive.
(14:24):
I can't shame myself into doing better.
Right.
Because guess it's negative reinforcement.
We already talked about that in our with your, with a doctor.
Dr. Patty Timpleton Smith.
Shout out.
But negative reinforcement does is it can change the behavior in the moment, but has
no long term effect whatsoever.
Right.
Which does remind me of the strengths.
(14:45):
I think that's such an interesting point of self discipline.
Like if you can pump yourself up, you're more likely to continue doing these positive habits,
routines, et cetera.
Absolutely.
It is like the base of trauma informed care that you strengthen strengths because guess
what?
Those areas that might be a deficit work right along with it.
And so when I think of self discipline in that terms is like, if you get really practiced
(15:08):
and you get good at achieving your goals, following the steps to get to where you want
to go, when shit hits the fan, you're better prepared to handle it.
You're equipped because you've been sharpening your strengths.
Does that make sense?
The self discipline of not having the reaction that you can't take that is up in flames.
And I think that's so cool because I feel like our education system is like not to do
(15:32):
a general, maybe this is a negative comment I'm throwing out here, but it's a tricky system.
And I know all these kiddos deserve absolute best education, but it is so hard when we
spend time, you need to get this math or this history lesson through your skull before we
can move on.
Right.
When this kid is a rock star, love science, can't get enough biology nut and lean in, lean
(15:57):
in.
And I understand that's an impossibility.
And so this is nothing but mad props.
But I do think there's a lot of power in self like honing your craft where it's like, I
feel better when I like for those that non-drinking AA like prayers are a big deal and having
absolutely that sort of.
Well, since you brought up AA, I mean, in the preamble, they're about discipline a little
(16:19):
bit.
Yeah, but in preamble, they say something is progress over perfection.
That's really, I think what self discipline is about is you have something that's measurable
and you see your progress and you're okay with it moving in these slow steps.
That really is part of discipline is like, it's not going to happen all at once.
This takes patience, that self control element.
(16:42):
Patience is a huge part of self discipline.
I'm not great.
I'm not great.
Yes.
Well, I think we've established that we're not super disciplined people in our lives
right now in certain elements.
But what do you think it is that creates this disconnect of where in some elements of my
life I am crazy disciplined and in other elements I have zero discipline at all.
(17:03):
I have ice cream every night.
Every night.
I'm an ice cream junkie.
I made a song about it.
You did write a song about it.
We will re-release that track ice cream junkie and I share that weakness and so I do like
a little something sweet.
But why do you think we have that disconnect?
Is it priorities?
Is that because you're?
I don't know.
I mean, that's such a comfort.
(17:24):
There's so much depth in why do we eat ice cream?
Like, is that a hug that you needed that day?
Is that a color?
Again, we justify that you're like, it's just protein.
It's protein.
That's how I justify it a lot.
And so I'm it's a curiosity because again, knowing that I have the capacity for like
(17:44):
showing up and getting it done.
But I think that's what the discipline is of reminding myself just to keep showing up.
And so where I'm not patient, I am good at taking the reminder to not be discouraging
to myself.
I can I can grab grab onto that and run with it on.
I can be the pump up height man of little goals.
But that's so true when you're like, I'm training for this marathon and you have this 10 mile
(18:08):
day and your knee feels a little sore and you don't run.
You're like, screw it, screw the whole damn thing.
I'm out not doing this anymore.
Like that just sucks.
And so having an accountability partner can be so helpful in that moment to be like, no,
no, no, we're in this.
Yeah.
I want to take the day and get better.
Athletics.
When I was training, I ran a marathon.
I actually run a couple of marathons.
(18:29):
I followed training regiments and at no point in that training regiment that I ever run
more than 13 miles at one time.
Yes.
But I got to run 26 on the race day.
So I only did a half.
So I only did a half and so the longest run day, I believe was 11 and half being 13.2
(18:49):
miles, I think 13.1.
And yeah, I don't have a need to do that.
I can, I wish that I could go back and see what I googled like running half marathon
for woman who despises running and just can't because I'm like, yeah, I'm not a treadmill
person.
I played soccer, but like, yeah, it took a push and a wingman.
(19:11):
And yeah, that is self-discipline.
So not I'm not going to run a marathon in 2025 just to go on record.
But if I could set a morning writing regimen, I would get such fulfillment from that.
I know.
And that's, that's the thing that we know it, but we're not disciplined enough to do
it.
(19:31):
So, so I had to look at looking, I did some research too.
I knew we were going to talk about this.
It's going to come up.
There are seven suggestions, things that you can do in your life that can potentially
make you a more disciplined person.
I got these off of the calm app and I really like the calm app.
Braun James did their ads at first, but I really thought they did a good job with these.
(19:53):
And so I'm just going to kind of throw them out to you and see what you think.
First one, we sort of already talked about this.
I love how many we've hit just in this conversation because they're kind of flipping this over
for the first time since I looked at it originally.
First one is clear goals.
Gotta have clear, clear set goals, which is where my head went almost instantly.
One honest about your own limitations.
(20:16):
I think that's really good.
And like, I'm a snoozer, right?
You hate my alarm clock.
I snoozing is dumb.
I don't.
If you're going to get up later, just...
It's one of the areas where I'm not very disciplined.
And I understand some people have their, like that's a, could be a, how you wake up lovely
time.
But what I love about this is if you're honest about your limitations, you can actually take
(20:37):
action to do something about them.
For instance, an alarm clock, move it to the other side of the room.
If you're a snoozer, like, there you go.
Like you can act, if you notice and can be honest about your limitations, you can then
take action to do something about them.
So that was number two, number three, prioritize planning.
I don't think I'm great at this one.
(20:59):
I think you're much better at planning than I am.
That's the step I usually skip.
Yes.
Much like your camping opinion, when you're like, I don't have the setup or the breakdown,
also the like planning.
I do think that you don't like.
I just want to go to the woods.
Yes.
Okay.
(21:19):
Yep.
Go to the woods with a bag of marshmallows and he said, so planning.
Yes.
And especially, I think there's an excellent point there of like the decision fatigue.
Because if you plan like having to make...
Oh man.
Like there's sometimes we've all been there when they're like, what do you want for dinner
and your face is just like food.
(21:40):
Hand me food.
Yeah.
Like you're like, I am on survival fumes right now.
And so if you can set up a framework of little tiny successes and shit that's already planned
in your day that is a product of discipline.
I'm going to give you a ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Cause guess what number four is?
Break your goals into actionable steps.
(22:02):
Big fan.
Yeah.
Like you can achieve things.
That's how you can achieve things.
You don't like have your milestone moments.
The little things you're like, okay, I'm here.
And then you can celebrate it.
Exactly.
Reward yourself.
Pretty sure that's on here too.
Okay.
So what I'm learning from this is I know all of them.
I'm doing little.
This is cool.
Yes.
Number five, accountability partners.
(22:24):
Your cousins.
I was going to say a long clock with the snooze.
I do know one of my cousins that she does an awesome smile meditation in bed and stretches
and wakes her body up and her mind in a very positive, peaceful way.
I've tried.
I know that.
She's a badass.
Yeah.
Shout out DC.
Yeah.
And so I wake up sometimes like a rage pirate.
(22:48):
And so I haven't done the smile meditation.
She's afraid my bed will burst into flames.
And so yeah, keep going.
Keep going.
King.
Number six, reward your progress.
I'm really good at this.
Yes.
I don't think we struggle there.
And number seven, I think this one's pretty important.
Have a plan B.
No, no, what you're going to do if you don't achieve some of these goals, have like your
(23:11):
lower track.
What is the Z's line?
I always advise others to take the high road gives me more blue room on the low.
Exactly.
And then I'm not saying like shoot low, but make sure that your goals are achievable.
And that's sort of what I think that's saying is like, sometimes you're still going to shoot
too high.
Make sure that you have that secondary course that still sort of fills your cup.
(23:34):
Yes.
Is that number seven?
Can I add one just for myself?
That's what we need is just more rules.
I was just saying, we want to be more disciplined.
These are things that I want to put into action in my life.
The last one is write it down.
If I if I put goals in my head, I can change them whenever I want.
If I write it down, it makes it real.
That is true.
(23:55):
Our accountability text thread starts on the first with a bullet point of these are my
three best set intentions.
Yes.
I'm going to give it hell.
And so writing it down.
It's so true and having.
Yeah, you literally would have to cross it out and like, I don't know about you, but
when I'm writing on a piece of paper handwriting, I like to make it look nice.
If I'm crossing something out, I'm usually tearing the page out, you know, so real having
(24:17):
shit and writing.
Did I tell you about when I asked a guy for his to bring a resume in college?
No, date.
It was my buddy, Nick.
Yeah.
You want to bring a resume?
We were friends already.
I was like, you got to up the game.
Why would I invest in the next level?
And so it was a more of an interview.
Got you.
It was a hoot.
But that doesn't surprise me at all.
(24:38):
So Aristotle, if you've heard of him, not a buddy from college, Greek philosopher, but
through discipline comes freedom.
And so first time I saw that I was like, ha, ha, ha, freedom's what I want.
But how could that make any sense?
And I think that you just hit on the points that it gives you a clear path that makes
(24:58):
by default, if you're moving forward on that path, those distractions are falling away
at a quicker pace.
And at the end, that freedom is you are getting what you want because you know what it is
that you want coming back to your O.G. question.
You've clearly defined what it is you want and how to work towards it.
So what I want is quiet space and in paper.
(25:19):
Yes, apparently.
Well, to put some more trending in today's times terms to what you're saying, when you
really get good at being disciplined and you are a disciplined person in your life, you
gain two things that I think are incredibly important.
The first one's mental clarity.
And that's exactly what the Aristotle quote is referring to is we now have an understanding
(25:41):
of what we want and how to get there.
Kind of knowing myself.
That's huge.
You know what I mean?
That's.
And then the second one is emotional resilience.
And that goes back to that strengthening strengths.
You're prepared when the shit hits the fan.
Absolutely.
You've done the work to make sure when you get off course, you know how to get back on
(26:01):
it.
And that's where like when I'm sitting here thinking about in moments of my life, I've
been extremely disciplined, but in other areas and maybe right now, not so much.
I know how to get back, but I haven't been practicing discipline.
And so it's harder.
And it's like the harder you're not disciplined.
The longer you're not disciplined, the harder it is to get back into it back in the flow.
(26:24):
And so when you are disciplined, you have this emotional resilience to really combat
what comes your way and get back on track to what you're working towards.
So that's those are sort of the takes takeaways.
I hope you feel like role reversal that I'm this is usually your line of man, I wish you
could see because you're actually quite disciplined.
I see these moments and so, but it's so cool and dynamic to be driven to one.
(26:50):
I want to kind of hone that area because again, I think that it threatens my fun.
And so, but I also understand I use the word fulfillment and I obviously wrote this calm
list of all the things that are going to set you up for success.
And so I think that's great.
Thank you for sharing that.
Did you ever have a coach or a teacher use the smart?
(27:11):
Oh, yeah, specific, specific, so smart goal setting is what they called it.
Really specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time based is the way I learned it.
Yes, what was I had realistic or realistic?
I think was that one I have that's right.
I think that that's a really, really great tool to kind of see acronym smart goals,
(27:35):
smart specific, measurable, achievable, relevant or realistic time based.
I think that that's a great little tool to use.
Like if you want to be more disciplined in your life, that's a great place to start.
Don't you think?
Yeah.
And I heard that in third grade.
Every coach I've ever played for has why not implement now the seven pieces and smart
(27:56):
proper just preparation prevents poor performance.
You ever heard that one?
Of course.
Of course.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think it is.
It's about that balance.
But yeah, the morning routine, I think is that sacred time and that can set you up again.
I think the decision fatigue at the end of the day where it's like the discipline where
(28:17):
it even like ties into your ice cream where at the end of the day, if I am just gassed,
I'm like, yeah, I want something that comes in its own container.
Right.
Like all required.
And so, yeah, having a little more energy to make.
I want to be more proactive in my life.
And that seems like so.
Is that the one area like we're getting close on our time limit here?
(28:39):
Are you?
If you have advertisers hold us to a tight clock.
If you had to pick an area like what after this conversation today right now, what is
it that you'd like to be more disciplined on?
Is it that morning routine that you want to craft and home?
It is because all my monthly goals this month are all possible in the morning.
(29:00):
And I'm also doing those in the usually with a quick profanity when I'm like, oh, shit,
I didn't.
And so I'll get back out of bed and finish my pushups or whatever.
That's a silly example, but that is usually the one that I'm like, oh, I'll knock those
out.
No problem later.
And I'm like, how many pushups did you do last year?
I don't know.
So I made it just as a funny little let's see.
(29:20):
I was testing my discipline probably and I was like, it's 2023.
I'm going to do 23 because Michael Jordan's number.
Come on.
And my name obviously is Jordan.
And so it seemed like the only option.
And so I was like, I'll do 23 pushups a day and that was kind of fun.
And you did it every day.
Well, there were times when I would do like a double next down.
(29:41):
And there were definitely days that I did more, but I definitely exceeded a 23 a day
goal for sure.
So 23 times.
And it's December and 24.
And I am rolling.
And so yeah, but it does when I do those, I think about, have I done my gratitude today?
And if I already have, it's like, oh man, that was so nice.
(30:02):
I will revisit so it's become a really positive.
So setting yourself, that's what I need is the positive nuggets, those little milestone
moments.
And so I can be an accountability captain in this house, but I know you can.
And that's, that's the punchline of all this is I think everyone has had times in their
life where they were really disciplined.
And it's about getting back into that routine.
(30:23):
What's the opposite?
Like what is that phase called?
Are you lazy?
No.
Are you lazy?
This would maybe fall indifferent, indifference, I think is much more of the culprit.
Yikes, cause yeah, self-discipline, like you said, like kind of knowing myself was.
And so yeah, having literally no say.
And again, that instant gratification goes into that as well where, you know, I don't
(30:46):
care enough to do that right now cause I'm enjoying what I'm doing.
You're getting that instant gratification.
That's the goal that that's the, how I want to be more disciplined is I want to take away
the TV time that I really soak in.
Cause in reality, when it comes to watching TV.
I love to watch my sports teams, but everything else doesn't need to happen.
(31:07):
I just kind of don't want to do the other things I could be doing.
Sure.
And I think, yeah, that's an interesting one, like how you spend your time.
Yeah.
That's another content.
What are you exposed to in a day?
Oh man.
Okay.
Well, on indifference and laziness.
(31:28):
This has been really great.
No, I'm excited.
So I think that it's nice to have the conversation too, cause I'd like to be an encouraging force.
I think this is a good conversation for couples to have cause it really helps you sort of
align your goals together and your goals on your own.
Yeah.
So like first date for the last, we'll just wrap that one up.
So you asked me how self disciplined I am and I'd be like, I need you.
(31:50):
Crisis mode.
Please help.
So all right.
Well, great.
Gentle with yourself.
Celebrate the milestones.
Love it.
Absolutely.
So I think it's really great at discipline and you will have more mental clarity and more
emotional resistance, resilience.
Sorry.
Hey, you know what?
You will be in such a state that you can decide.
(32:10):
They will let you decide if you want emotional resistance or resilience, because you will
have that sort of discipline.
Absolutely.
All right.
Thanks for chatting with me.
Of course.
Great conversation.
I'm JT and I'm Jordan.
Have a great afternoon.
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