January 9, 2025 • 30 mins
Step into 2025 with renewed energy and purpose as we explore the art of intentional living in the latest episode of Life is Delicious. Inspired by Sarah Ban Breathnach's "Simple Abundance," we discuss your personal journey towards authenticity and joy. Ditch those restrictive resolutions and join me in embracing gradual, positive changes for the new year. With compassion and curiosity, we reflect on the past year's successes and growth opportunities, setting the stage for a fulfilling year ahead. Together, we'll uncover the secrets to creating a life that truly nourishes your soul.
Discover the "Eight Pillars of a Happy Life" as a framework to assess and enhance your well-being across health, wealth, family, and more. Practical exercises like the "big rocks in a jar" metaphor help prioritize what truly matters, ensuring that key aspects of life come first. Learn how recording personal affirmations in your own voice can transform your intentions into reality, and explore the power of "creative excursions" for personal rejuvenation. Plus, I'm thrilled to introduce my guided journal, "Happy is Not an Accident," available on Amazon, filled with prompts to help you cultivate a balanced and intentional lifestyle. Let's embark on this journey together and make this year truly exceptional.
https://www.LifeIsDelicious.ca/bookshelf ( Happy Is Not An Accident)
Find Marnie Martin here:
Website : https://www.LifeIsDelicious.ca ( Podcast) and
https://www.MarnieMartin.com ( Voice Over )
Email: marnie@marniemartin.com
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Resources
Simple Abundance- Sarah Ban Breathnach
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, beautiful friends, it's Marni Martin and
welcome to this episode of Lifeis Delicious.
I'm a multi-passionateentrepreneur, bestselling author
, foodie and voiceover artist,and I created the Life is
Delicious podcast with onesimple mission in mind to help
(00:23):
you add more flavor to your lifeand to help you write your own
recipe for a life that feedsyour soul.
I'm so glad you're here First,before we get started.
I know that it is a great big,noisy world out there, and the
fact that you have carved out alittle bit of time for yourself
(00:43):
to be here with me it is trulyan honor.
And if you're new here, welcometo the Life is Delicious family
.
Happy freaking New Year.
Oh, my goodness, I can'tbelieve it is already 2025.
That is craziness.
I want to start today's episodewith an excerpt from a book
(01:04):
that I absolutely love.
It's called Simple Abundance bySarah Bonbrethnack, and I have
been carrying this book aroundwith me for decades.
Let's get started.
New Year's Day, a fresh start, anew chapter in life waiting to
be written, new questions to beasked, embraced and loved,
(01:27):
answers to be discovered andthen lived in.
This transformative year ofdelight and self-discovery.
Today, carve out a quietinterlude for yourself in which
to dream pen in hand.
Only dreams give birth tochange.
What are your hopes for thefuture as you reflect on the
years that have passed?
(01:48):
Gradually, as you become thecurator of your own contentment,
you will learn to embrace thegentle yearnings of your heart.
But this year, instead ofresolutions, write down your
most private aspirations, thoselongings you have kept tucked
away until the time seems right.
Trust that now is the time.
(02:11):
Ask the questions.
The simple abundance pathbrings confidence that the
answers will come and we willdiscover, day by day, how to
live them.
Take a leap of faith and beginthis wondrous new year by
believing.
Believe in yourself and believethat there is a loving source,
(02:32):
a sower of dreams, just waitingto be asked to help you make
your dreams come true.
Isn't that awesome.
I must have been about 22 when Icame across this book and I had
just had my very first littlemini human and I fell in love
with this book.
I'm not even sure who gave itto me, to be truthful, or if I
(02:54):
bought it for myself.
I don't remember that.
It's a day book, so it startswith January 1, and every day
there's these little mini essaysthat kind of walk you through
being a woman in the world andhow to carve your own path and
excavate your own innerauthenticity.
I love this book so much that Ithink maybe I was 23 or 24 and
(03:15):
I think I might have had mysecond child by then.
But I actually bought 10 copiesof this book and I gave a copy
to every one of my girlfriendsfor Mother's Day of this book
and I gave a copy to every oneof my girlfriends for Mother's
Day.
It touched me on a really deepcellular level and I knew, even
like 30 some years ago, thatexcavating my authentic self was
(03:36):
something that was going to bea part of my life forever, and
that's kind of what led me here.
So the cool thing is is, as Iwent through the next 30 years
of my life, I deliberately wouldanytime I was anywhere near a
used bookstore, I would go inand I would see if there was a
copy of this book, and I alwayshad at least one or two in my
(03:57):
home so that if I happened tomeet somebody that needed this
message, I would give them acopy.
It was timeless.
Needed this message, I wouldgive them a copy.
It was timeless.
20 years later, 25 years later,I could still open any page of
this book and, with a totallydifferent space and stage of
life where I was, this bookseemed to know exactly what I
(04:18):
needed to hear that day.
So, sarah Bon Brethnak, one dayI hope to have you on this
podcast because you haveinspired me in a deep and
profound way.
So this episode is really aboutstarting your new year with
intention, clarity and joy, andI have about 10, 11 ideas.
(04:39):
Some of them are more of anexercise and some of them are
just concepts.
I like to look at the new yearas kind of that line in the sand
, that clean slate, and I liketo kind of unpack the new year
with not really the resolutionside of things.
I personally find thatresolutions tend to focus on
(05:02):
taking away, cutting backrestriction.
Resolutions tend to focus ontaking away, cutting back
restriction and often focus moreon the negative behaviors that
we've done in the past, so likequitting smoking or drinking too
much, or maybe we need to losesome weight, and I'm not saying
that that's a bad thing, I'mjust saying that sometimes a
gentler approach can be better.
(05:23):
So everybody has theirdifferent ways of stepping into
the new year and I just like togive you a couple of ideas and
maybe, if even one or two ofthese resonate with you and it
changes the way you feel aboutthe year, then that is awesome.
I'd like to think that we canmaybe approach January as our
transition month into our newbehaviors, with some slow,
(05:43):
gradual changes that maybe wecan learn to implement and
actually have them stick.
So the first thing we're goingto do is exercise one, which is
what I like to call a year inreview, and this exercise is not
at all about beating yourselfup about things you didn't get
to, things you did wrong.
(06:04):
It's not like that at all.
I want all of these exercisesto be approached with a sense of
curiosity and a sense of whatcould I do better?
That's the whole point.
We want to evaluate what we didlast year that was really
awesome, that worked, whether westuck to our plan for where we
(06:25):
wanted to go, and then maybelooking at the things that we
fell short on.
But instead of looking at froma place of you know, oh, I'm
such a loser or I didn't getthat right, and it's imperative
to be kind to ourselves and tobe able to think about what
actually makes us happy, I thinka lot of people never stop to
(06:46):
actually even ask themselvesthat question.
So let's start with the year inreview.
Again, this might take you 10 or15 minutes, maybe a little bit
longer, but just get a piece ofpaper and a pen and write that
2024.
And you can even take this astep further.
If there are some things thatyou're frustrated about or
(07:06):
didn't work well for you, youcan write like a love letter to
last year and say all the thingsyou want to let go of that just
didn't work and you want a newstart on.
And you can even take that andburn it in a fireplace or in a
fire pit and just let thatenergy go.
That's the whole point of thisexercise.
(07:26):
Here's another exercise that youcan do any time of the year.
You'd certainly don't have todo it at the new year, but it
seems kind of timely.
So I thought I would bring itup and I like to call this the
reverse bucket list.
So this isn't like lookingforward into the future and
going, wow, what do I want to dothat I haven't accomplished yet
.
The reverse bucket list isabout looking back at you in
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your 20s and your 30s and your40s and your 50s.
I don't know where you're at inyour life span right now, but
looking at the things youabsolutely crushed, the things
you got right, challenges thatyou've overcome, the things that
you navigated through that werehard, and how you've changed as
(08:09):
a human being because you wentthrough those hard things, this
is an amazing exercise ingratitude.
It's looking back at who youwere and who you've become, and
how you've navigated challengesthat you didn't even think you
were capable of.
That is something that willgive you fuel and grace as you
(08:29):
navigate hard things in thefuture, and it's just a lovely
benchmark to put on at the endof the year or at the beginning
of a new year, where you canreally look at how far you've
actually come.
And again, you can do thisreverse bucket list more than
one time.
It's a super powerful tool.
One of the things I love to dois have a look at what I like to
(08:53):
call the eight pillars of ahappy life.
So this exercise is it's prettysimple, but you start with the
eight major areas of your life.
We're looking at health, wealth, family, friends, purpose, mind
, body and spirit.
(09:14):
So all eight of those I'd likeyou to just write down on a
piece of paper and beside that,put a little blank space, and
what I would like you to do isto rate yourself from 1 to 10.
1 being as little as possible,10 being the best, of course and
just figure out right now, here, today, where are you in every
(09:35):
area of your life?
You might surprise yourself,actually.
I mean, maybe your health is ata 5 and maybe your wealth is at
a 9.
Maybe your family is at a fourand you would like it to be at a
nine.
Whatever that is for you, it'sjust important to sit down, and
this is the line in the sand.
This is where I am today.
This is how I feel about everyarea of my life today.
(09:58):
And then, on the next sheet ofpaper, I would love you to put
those same categories down, andwe're going to write one to
three things that we could do toimprove our score in each area.
And what's really great aboutthis exercise is there's some
things that will actually bleedinto more than one category.
So maybe you want to take upyoga.
Well, maybe that's going to bein your mind category and your
(10:21):
body category.
You know, maybe you want tospend more time outside.
Maybe that's for your spiritand maybe that's also for your
mind.
So there's lots and lots ofdifferent ways to slice this and
there's no way to get it wrong.
It's really all about you.
It's very personal.
So take your time with this andjust kind of figure out where
you're at.
(10:41):
Think of those things thatwe've just written down as our
big rocks.
I don't know if you've everheard this story, but it's kind
of a famous, I think it's aprofessor in a university and he
did this exercise with hisstudents where he had these two
inch rocks and a really big jaron his desk and he put all of
(11:02):
these big rocks into his jar,right to the very top, and he
said to his class he said, isthis jar full?
And they said, well, yeah, it'sfull.
Then he pulled out a cup fullof pebbles that were smaller,
more like gravel, and he pouredthem into the jar and shook the
jar and all of the littlepebbles kind of went in between
where the big rocks are.
(11:23):
And he said, now, is my jarfull?
And they said, well, yeah, nowit's full for sure.
And then he came up with a cupfull of sand and he poured that
in over top of the pebbles andover top of the rocks.
And all of a sudden the jar waseven more full and they were so
(11:43):
surprised.
And so he said now is the jarfull?
And they said well, I don'tthink it could get any fuller.
Yes, it's full.
And then he pulled out a cup ofwater and he poured it into the
jar and it went in between thesand and the pebbles and the
rocks.
And the metaphor for this isthat the big jar is your life.
(12:05):
So if he had done it the otherway around and put the sand in
first, there would have been noroom for the big rocks.
If you'd put the water in first, or the pebbles, there would
have been no room for the bigrocks.
So those big rocks are thethings you just identified were
important to you in every areaof your life.
(12:25):
What matters to you this year,that you want to spend your time
on, that you want to give yourenergy to that you want to be
intentional about.
Those are your big rocks.
So we want to be really sure toput our big rocks into our jar
first, because if we spend allof our time on all of these
little unimportant details, werun out of time to work on the
(12:49):
things that really matter.
I hope you'll play with this.
It's really actually quite funand actually sometimes it's a
little bit surprising.
You don't even realize thatsomething is super important to
you until you sit down andreflect and have a look at these
things and then you go, wow,like I didn't know that mattered
so much to me.
(13:09):
But it actually does, and itallows you to be more
intentional with the way youstart off your year.
Okay, so just to recap so farwe've done our year in review,
we've done our reverse bucketlist and then we've written down
our eight pillars of a happylife and the things that matter
(13:31):
most to us, and then we have putour big rocks into the jar.
So now this next exercise isactually kind of fun as well.
It's called a little less and alittle more, or 1% less, 1%
more, however you want to lookat it, and this one, we're going
to actually do the same thing.
We're going to get a big pieceof paper and we're going to draw
a line right down the middle,and on the left hand side we're
(13:54):
going to put a little less andon the right hand side a little
more.
So this is where we actuallyget to examine our behaviors and
the things that may be justlittle tiny tweaks that we want
to change.
So I'll give you some examples.
So maybe we want to do a littleless alcohol and a little more
water.
Maybe we want to do a littleless sitting and a little more
(14:18):
movement.
Maybe we want to do a littleless sugar and a little more
self-care.
Maybe we want to do a littleless swearing and a little bit
more singing.
Maybe it's just a little lessworrying and a little more
gratitude.
Maybe it's a little lesstakeout food and a little more
(14:42):
home-cooked meals.
You see where I'm going withthis.
There's so many ways that we canadd to this.
Maybe it's a little bit lessmindless scrolling and a little
more solitude.
You could go on for days withthis.
Maybe it's a little lesssmoking.
You know doesn't mean younecessarily are going to quit
(15:02):
today, but maybe a little lesssmoking would still be a good
thing for your health.
Maybe a little bit more freshair, more walking, maybe a
little less screen time and alittle bit more sleep that is a
big one.
I think that's something wecould probably all use.
Anyway, for you, you can put inwhatever it is that you need.
(15:24):
Maybe it's a little more timewith your family or a little
less work and a little bit moreplay.
Just have fun with this.
It can be a really fun exercise.
And then just you know youcan't do it all.
So pick a few things, pickmaybe three top things that you
really want to be intentionalabout, and then put them into
your notes on your phone andlook at them regularly so you
(15:46):
can remind yourself that youjust need to do a little bit
less and a little bit more.
And it's kind of amazing, whenyou think about doing something
consistently every single day,how much impact it can have on
your life.
I mean, look at your dentalcare.
You wouldn't save all of yourdental care up until Sunday and
then brush your teeth for a halfan hour.
(16:07):
That would be ridiculous.
But when you take care of yourdental health every single day,
it has a massive impact over thecourse of your life, right?
So here's a fun exercise thatmy girlfriend just reminded me
about, actually, which I thinkis super fun.
So you get yourself a jar, notfor your big rocks, but put it
on your desk.
Something pretty, maybe it's avase, maybe it's a box that you
(16:30):
love, whatever that is and getyourself some beautiful pieces
of paper or some sticky notesand once a week, write down
something amazing that happenedto you, something that lit you
up, that made you grateful,something that surprised you or
something you overcame, that wasawesome.
Write it down on a piece ofpaper and put it into the jar
(16:50):
and next year, on New Year's Eveor New Year's Day, I should say
, pull out the jar and enjoylooking at all of the small wins
you had through the entire year.
It can be a super powerfulgratitude exercise that'll set
next year up with some prettyawesome feelings.
A few years back I started to dothis exercise probably about
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five, and this one I like tocall rules of the road and the
reason I came up with thisexercise is because for most of
my life I have been a chronicpeople pleaser, and it took me
till a few years ago to reallyrealize that not only was people
pleasing not serving me, but itactually wasn't serving others
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either, because I was overgiving, I was depleted, I wasn't
happy, I was resentful.
So that piece of my life I hadto really start to work on and
once I actually began to sethealthy boundaries in place.
This is when I implemented therules of the road.
And this is the rules of theroad according to me, not
(17:57):
according to my mom or my spouseor my children or my boss.
It's the rules of the roadaccording to me, and these are
just little sentences, littlemantras, little reminders of
what matters and how we staygrounded in our authenticity and
who we want to show up as inthe world.
(18:17):
So I'll give you an example ofthe ones that I had, I think,
last year.
So this is my last year list.
Number one was what other peoplethink of me is none of my
business.
Number two is it's better toget forgiveness than permission.
Number three is never leave funto find fun.
That's one of my favorites.
Number four is everything isalways working out for me.
(18:41):
Number five be impeccable withmy word.
Number six I teach people howto treat me.
Number seven there's alwaysroom at my table for good humans
.
Number eight I live in abenevolent universe.
Number nine I am a spiritualbeing having a human experience.
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Number 10, moderation is theorder of the day.
Number 11, my body's naturalstate is that of health and
well-being.
Number 12, movement is freedomand health is wealth, and I
threw in a baker's dozen and I'mgoing to definitely take this
(19:23):
one into my new year and it is.
If it's not a hell yes, it's ano or a not right now.
I needed that for sure lastyear and it's really helped me
to clarify the things that Iwant to participate in, instead
of having that knee jerkreaction of hey, can you help me
with this?
Sure, hey, would you do thisfor me?
(19:44):
Sure, I mean, I was very goodat being a yes woman for many,
many years, and it's not that Idon't say yes to things now, but
I just give myself theopportunity to reflect on
whether I can do it happily forsomeone, and that has served me
very well.
So, definitely, going on my2025 rules of the road list, the
(20:07):
next one is actually one of myfavorites.
I actually implemented this lastyear and it has been a game
changer for me, and, of course,I'm behind the microphone a lot
and I have recording gear andall the things, but what this
one is is to record your newlife affirmation in your own
voice, and what I mean by thisis is I want you to write down
(20:31):
an entire vision of what youwant this year to look like.
You've already gotten someclarity on the things that are
most important to you Inpositive speak.
I want you to talk about itlike it's already happened and
all the things that you'restriving to have happen, that
they've happened easily for youand how great it was that it
showed up for you, and it's areally powerful, powerful
(20:54):
exercise, and when you record itin your own voice, you don't
have to have fancy equipment todo this.
You can certainly do it on thevoice memo app on your iPhone.
I don't have an Android so I'mnot sure, but I'm sure they have
an equivalent there as well.
There's so much amazingtechnology today that it's not a
difficult thing to do, but it'sa really powerful experience.
And what I did last year is Iactually put a reminder on my
(21:16):
phone at 9 am, noon, 3 pm, 6 pmand 9 pm.
Now I'm not going to sit hereand tell you for sure that I
actually listened to myaffirmation five times a day,
but I tried to get two or three.
Sometimes I wasn't able to stopand just switch gears, which is
fine, but it's a really greatreminder to just stop, take five
(21:37):
minutes, and I now get up andactually go get a glass of water
, because water is something I'mreally working on this year.
So now, when my little alarmgoes off, I get up, actually go
get a glass of water, becausewater is something I'm really
working on this year.
So now, when my little alarmgoes off, I get up, I get a
glass of water and I listen tomy recording of what I want my
year to look like and I reallyallow myself to feel how good it
feels to believe that that'spossible for me, or that that's
(22:00):
already happened.
It is amazing how that cantransform you and help you to
call in the things that mattermost to you.
Okay, so I know this is a lot ofstuff to take in.
So, to recap, we did the yearin review, we did the reverse
bucket list, then we did theeight pillars of a happy life,
(22:23):
which is mind, body, spirit,health, wealth, family, friends
and purpose.
And then, once we did those andgave ourselves a little score
from one to 10, we sat down andfigured out one to three things
in each area of that part of ourlife that we want to work on
this year, and then we put ourbig rocks into the jar, and then
(22:45):
we talked about a little moreand a little less, and then we
got to the rules of the road,and that is something you can
implement for yourself if itfeels like a fit.
So, going back to the book, Ispoke about simple abundance and
Sarah Bon Brethnak one of thethings that she also talks about
in that book, which Iimplemented early, early on in
(23:08):
my life and I've kind ofactually gotten away from it, I
would say, over the last fewyears because I've been caring
for elderly parents and there'sbeen other things going on.
But I'm going to put it back inthis year and it's called the
creative excursion.
And the creative excursion isjust, it can be an hour if
that's all you have in your life, but ideally it would be maybe
(23:32):
an afternoon that you can setaside for yourself.
Maybe it's a Saturday morning,maybe it's a Sunday night and
you allow yourself to have a spanight.
The creative excursion can beanything you want it to be.
Ideally it's a couple of hoursat least, of time that you carve
out for just yourself, to justrecharge your batteries, to go
(23:56):
somewhere maybe you've nevergone before to do something.
Maybe you've never done before.
It's really about curiosity andshifting gears from, say, work
or caring for family or theother responsibilities that we
have and just carving out alittle bit of time for just you.
(24:17):
And that can be anything.
It could be lighting a candlein a room that you love and
reading a good book.
It could be, like, I say,having a spa night with your
favorite bath.
It could be going to thriftshops for the afternoon and just
being curious about what youmight find.
Maybe you go to the beach inthe afternoon.
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One of the things I did a fewyears back which I loved is I
got up extra early and I droveout to the beach near our home
on the lake and I would justplop my chair in the sand by the
water and stick my feet in thewater and bring a cup of coffee,
a good book, and I would sitthere for a good hour or two
(24:59):
before anybody ever showed up.
And sometimes it was like, wow,I have this whole place to
myself.
It was amazing and it justallowed me to really reconnect
with myself and get centeredagain and grounded, and so
that's the whole purpose of thecreative excursion, and I'm so
grateful that I read about thatin Sarah's book so many years
(25:22):
ago.
So if you get the opportunityto implement that into your life
this year, I promise it is agame changer and will make you
just feel so much more connectedto yourself.
I love it and I hope you'll tryit too.
So if some of this informationis resonating with you and
you've enjoyed today's episode,I have created a journal called
(25:44):
Happy is Not an Accident andit's available.
I just released it on Amazonjust before Christmas.
There's a lot of these similarexercises in the book, but it's
basically a guided journal, hasa lot of awesome prompts to help
you get massive clarity aboutwhere you're going, not
necessarily just this year, butin life in general.
(26:04):
It's just a great companion tokind of follow through on a lot
of these exercises that wetalked about today.
So if that's something that youknow speaks to you, I hope
you'll check it out.
Happy is not an accident it'sup on Amazon now and I also
wanted to let you know becauseit is the new year.
I am a crazy paper girl.
(26:26):
I need to write things down.
I know that's really super oldschool, but I have planners I
guess calendars that I keep allof my activities on.
I keep my the amount of moneyI'm making.
I write down every appointment,I keep track of passwords and
financial goals and all kinds ofthings, and so it's something
(26:48):
that I have done for years.
In fact, I actually take theseplanners and I tuck them away
with my taxes, because it's likeI know at any given moment, if
I could open one of thosejournals, I can tell you exactly
where I was, what I was doing,what I was working on, what
goals I was, you know, tackling,and so I keep them because it's
such a great reminder.
And so I've created one calledthe Life is Delicious Weekly and
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Monthly Planner.
There's a lot of these similarexercises.
In the beginning of the plannerit starts off with the year in
review all kinds of awesomeprompts to get you set up for
the new year, and it has lots ofblank pages at the back of the
book as well.
And then the rest of theplanner is set up as a week at a
(27:32):
glance and a month at a glance,and at the beginning of every
month it gives you theopportunity there's a couple of
pages for setting intentions forwhat you want to get out of
this month, and then at the endof the month.
There's actually a page to doan evaluation of whether you are
on track or if you need to dosomething different.
So it's a really powerful tool.
Again, I created it for myself.
(27:54):
I'm actually in a little bit ofwithdrawal right now because I
don't have a planner.
So this was just put up andshould be available on Amazon by
the end of this week, sosomewhere around the 10th or
11th of January, and if you areone of those people who likes to
write things down and see yourweek at a glance and know what
you have going on, I hope you'llcheck it out.
(28:22):
And I'm going to leave you withthis.
I've followed Wayne Dyer formost of my life and I remember
seeing him on a seminar and hehad interviewed a friend of his
called Portia Nelson and shetold him a story about how she
had been gone to this seminarand they said we want you to
write the story of your life.
This is what she wrote.
Chapter one I walk down thestreet and I see a deep hole in
the sidewalk.
(28:42):
I fall in.
I am lost and helpless.
It isn't my fault and it takesforever to get out.
Chapter two I walk down thesame street and I see there's a
deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the sameplace.
(29:05):
It isn't my fault and it stilltakes a long time to get out.
Chapter 3.
I walk down the same streetstreet and there's a deep hole
in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
My eyes are open.
I fall in again.
It's a habit.
(29:26):
I know where I am, it is myfault and I get out immediately.
Chapter 4.
I walk down the same street andthere's a deep hole in the
sidewalk.
I see it there and I navigatemy way around it.
Chapter 5.
(29:47):
I walk down a different street.
What street will you walk downthis year?
I hope you enjoyed this episodeand if you did, please share
this with someone you love.
And if you're not subscribed,make sure you hit that little
bell icon to make sure that youare notified when the next
(30:09):
episode comes out.
In case no one has told youtoday, there is not one person
on this planet that is exactlylike you, and the world is a
better place because you're here.
So thank you for being here.
Go make it the best year yetand I'll see you next time on.
(30:29):
Life is Delicious.
Hey, beautiful friends, it's Marni Martin and
welcome to this episode of Lifeis Delicious.
I'm a multi-passionateentrepreneur, bestselling author
, foodie and voiceover artist,and I created the Life is
Delicious podcast with onesimple mission in mind to help
(00:23):
you add more flavor to your lifeand to help you write your own
recipe for a life that feedsyour soul.
I'm so glad you're here First,before we get started.
I know that it is a great big,noisy world out there, and the
fact that you have carved out alittle bit of time for yourself
(00:43):
to be here with me it is trulyan honor.
And if you're new here, welcometo the Life is Delicious family
.
Happy freaking New Year.
Oh, my goodness, I can'tbelieve it is already 2025.
That is craziness.
I want to start today's episodewith an excerpt from a book
(01:04):
that I absolutely love.
It's called Simple Abundance bySarah Bonbrethnack, and I have
been carrying this book aroundwith me for decades.
Let's get started.
New Year's Day, a fresh start, anew chapter in life waiting to
be written, new questions to beasked, embraced and loved,
(01:27):
answers to be discovered andthen lived in.
This transformative year ofdelight and self-discovery.
Today, carve out a quietinterlude for yourself in which
to dream pen in hand.
Only dreams give birth tochange.
What are your hopes for thefuture as you reflect on the
years that have passed?
(01:48):
Gradually, as you become thecurator of your own contentment,
you will learn to embrace thegentle yearnings of your heart.
But this year, instead ofresolutions, write down your
most private aspirations, thoselongings you have kept tucked
away until the time seems right.
Trust that now is the time.
(02:11):
Ask the questions.
The simple abundance pathbrings confidence that the
answers will come and we willdiscover, day by day, how to
live them.
Take a leap of faith and beginthis wondrous new year by
believing.
Believe in yourself and believethat there is a loving source,
(02:32):
a sower of dreams, just waitingto be asked to help you make
your dreams come true.
Isn't that awesome.
I must have been about 22 when Icame across this book and I had
just had my very first littlemini human and I fell in love
with this book.
I'm not even sure who gave itto me, to be truthful, or if I
(02:54):
bought it for myself.
I don't remember that.
It's a day book, so it startswith January 1, and every day
there's these little mini essaysthat kind of walk you through
being a woman in the world andhow to carve your own path and
excavate your own innerauthenticity.
I love this book so much that Ithink maybe I was 23 or 24 and
(03:15):
I think I might have had mysecond child by then.
But I actually bought 10 copiesof this book and I gave a copy
to every one of my girlfriendsfor Mother's Day of this book
and I gave a copy to every oneof my girlfriends for Mother's
Day.
It touched me on a really deepcellular level and I knew, even
like 30 some years ago, thatexcavating my authentic self was
(03:36):
something that was going to bea part of my life forever, and
that's kind of what led me here.
So the cool thing is is, as Iwent through the next 30 years
of my life, I deliberately wouldanytime I was anywhere near a
used bookstore, I would go inand I would see if there was a
copy of this book, and I alwayshad at least one or two in my
(03:57):
home so that if I happened tomeet somebody that needed this
message, I would give them acopy.
It was timeless.
Needed this message, I wouldgive them a copy.
It was timeless.
20 years later, 25 years later,I could still open any page of
this book and, with a totallydifferent space and stage of
life where I was, this bookseemed to know exactly what I
(04:18):
needed to hear that day.
So, sarah Bon Brethnak, one dayI hope to have you on this
podcast because you haveinspired me in a deep and
profound way.
So this episode is really aboutstarting your new year with
intention, clarity and joy, andI have about 10, 11 ideas.
(04:39):
Some of them are more of anexercise and some of them are
just concepts.
I like to look at the new yearas kind of that line in the sand
, that clean slate, and I liketo kind of unpack the new year
with not really the resolutionside of things.
I personally find thatresolutions tend to focus on
(05:02):
taking away, cutting backrestriction.
Resolutions tend to focus ontaking away, cutting back
restriction and often focus moreon the negative behaviors that
we've done in the past, so likequitting smoking or drinking too
much, or maybe we need to losesome weight, and I'm not saying
that that's a bad thing, I'mjust saying that sometimes a
gentler approach can be better.
(05:23):
So everybody has theirdifferent ways of stepping into
the new year and I just like togive you a couple of ideas and
maybe, if even one or two ofthese resonate with you and it
changes the way you feel aboutthe year, then that is awesome.
I'd like to think that we canmaybe approach January as our
transition month into our newbehaviors, with some slow,
(05:43):
gradual changes that maybe wecan learn to implement and
actually have them stick.
So the first thing we're goingto do is exercise one, which is
what I like to call a year inreview, and this exercise is not
at all about beating yourselfup about things you didn't get
to, things you did wrong.
(06:04):
It's not like that at all.
I want all of these exercisesto be approached with a sense of
curiosity and a sense of whatcould I do better?
That's the whole point.
We want to evaluate what we didlast year that was really
awesome, that worked, whether westuck to our plan for where we
(06:25):
wanted to go, and then maybelooking at the things that we
fell short on.
But instead of looking at froma place of you know, oh, I'm
such a loser or I didn't getthat right, and it's imperative
to be kind to ourselves and tobe able to think about what
actually makes us happy, I thinka lot of people never stop to
(06:46):
actually even ask themselvesthat question.
So let's start with the year inreview.
Again, this might take you 10 or15 minutes, maybe a little bit
longer, but just get a piece ofpaper and a pen and write that
2024.
And you can even take this astep further.
If there are some things thatyou're frustrated about or
(07:06):
didn't work well for you, youcan write like a love letter to
last year and say all the thingsyou want to let go of that just
didn't work and you want a newstart on.
And you can even take that andburn it in a fireplace or in a
fire pit and just let thatenergy go.
That's the whole point of thisexercise.
(07:26):
Here's another exercise that youcan do any time of the year.
You'd certainly don't have todo it at the new year, but it
seems kind of timely.
So I thought I would bring itup and I like to call this the
reverse bucket list.
So this isn't like lookingforward into the future and
going, wow, what do I want to dothat I haven't accomplished yet
.
The reverse bucket list isabout looking back at you in
(07:49):
your 20s and your 30s and your40s and your 50s.
I don't know where you're at inyour life span right now, but
looking at the things youabsolutely crushed, the things
you got right, challenges thatyou've overcome, the things that
you navigated through that werehard, and how you've changed as
(08:09):
a human being because you wentthrough those hard things, this
is an amazing exercise ingratitude.
It's looking back at who youwere and who you've become, and
how you've navigated challengesthat you didn't even think you
were capable of.
That is something that willgive you fuel and grace as you
(08:29):
navigate hard things in thefuture, and it's just a lovely
benchmark to put on at the endof the year or at the beginning
of a new year, where you canreally look at how far you've
actually come.
And again, you can do thisreverse bucket list more than
one time.
It's a super powerful tool.
One of the things I love to dois have a look at what I like to
(08:53):
call the eight pillars of ahappy life.
So this exercise is it's prettysimple, but you start with the
eight major areas of your life.
We're looking at health, wealth, family, friends, purpose, mind
, body and spirit.
(09:14):
So all eight of those I'd likeyou to just write down on a
piece of paper and beside that,put a little blank space, and
what I would like you to do isto rate yourself from 1 to 10.
1 being as little as possible,10 being the best, of course and
just figure out right now, here, today, where are you in every
(09:35):
area of your life?
You might surprise yourself,actually.
I mean, maybe your health is ata 5 and maybe your wealth is at
a 9.
Maybe your family is at a fourand you would like it to be at a
nine.
Whatever that is for you, it'sjust important to sit down, and
this is the line in the sand.
This is where I am today.
This is how I feel about everyarea of my life today.
(09:58):
And then, on the next sheet ofpaper, I would love you to put
those same categories down, andwe're going to write one to
three things that we could do toimprove our score in each area.
And what's really great aboutthis exercise is there's some
things that will actually bleedinto more than one category.
So maybe you want to take upyoga.
Well, maybe that's going to bein your mind category and your
(10:21):
body category.
You know, maybe you want tospend more time outside.
Maybe that's for your spiritand maybe that's also for your
mind.
So there's lots and lots ofdifferent ways to slice this and
there's no way to get it wrong.
It's really all about you.
It's very personal.
So take your time with this andjust kind of figure out where
you're at.
(10:41):
Think of those things thatwe've just written down as our
big rocks.
I don't know if you've everheard this story, but it's kind
of a famous, I think it's aprofessor in a university and he
did this exercise with hisstudents where he had these two
inch rocks and a really big jaron his desk and he put all of
(11:02):
these big rocks into his jar,right to the very top, and he
said to his class he said, isthis jar full?
And they said, well, yeah, it'sfull.
Then he pulled out a cup fullof pebbles that were smaller,
more like gravel, and he pouredthem into the jar and shook the
jar and all of the littlepebbles kind of went in between
where the big rocks are.
(11:23):
And he said, now, is my jarfull?
And they said, well, yeah, nowit's full for sure.
And then he came up with a cupfull of sand and he poured that
in over top of the pebbles andover top of the rocks.
And all of a sudden the jar waseven more full and they were so
(11:43):
surprised.
And so he said now is the jarfull?
And they said well, I don'tthink it could get any fuller.
Yes, it's full.
And then he pulled out a cup ofwater and he poured it into the
jar and it went in between thesand and the pebbles and the
rocks.
And the metaphor for this isthat the big jar is your life.
(12:05):
So if he had done it the otherway around and put the sand in
first, there would have been noroom for the big rocks.
If you'd put the water in first, or the pebbles, there would
have been no room for the bigrocks.
So those big rocks are thethings you just identified were
important to you in every areaof your life.
(12:25):
What matters to you this year,that you want to spend your time
on, that you want to give yourenergy to that you want to be
intentional about.
Those are your big rocks.
So we want to be really sure toput our big rocks into our jar
first, because if we spend allof our time on all of these
little unimportant details, werun out of time to work on the
(12:49):
things that really matter.
I hope you'll play with this.
It's really actually quite funand actually sometimes it's a
little bit surprising.
You don't even realize thatsomething is super important to
you until you sit down andreflect and have a look at these
things and then you go, wow,like I didn't know that mattered
so much to me.
(13:09):
But it actually does, and itallows you to be more
intentional with the way youstart off your year.
Okay, so just to recap so farwe've done our year in review,
we've done our reverse bucketlist and then we've written down
our eight pillars of a happylife and the things that matter
(13:31):
most to us, and then we have putour big rocks into the jar.
So now this next exercise isactually kind of fun as well.
It's called a little less and alittle more, or 1% less, 1%
more, however you want to lookat it, and this one, we're going
to actually do the same thing.
We're going to get a big pieceof paper and we're going to draw
a line right down the middle,and on the left hand side we're
(13:54):
going to put a little less andon the right hand side a little
more.
So this is where we actuallyget to examine our behaviors and
the things that may be justlittle tiny tweaks that we want
to change.
So I'll give you some examples.
So maybe we want to do a littleless alcohol and a little more
water.
Maybe we want to do a littleless sitting and a little more
(14:18):
movement.
Maybe we want to do a littleless sugar and a little more
self-care.
Maybe we want to do a littleless swearing and a little bit
more singing.
Maybe it's just a little lessworrying and a little more
gratitude.
Maybe it's a little lesstakeout food and a little more
(14:42):
home-cooked meals.
You see where I'm going withthis.
There's so many ways that we canadd to this.
Maybe it's a little bit lessmindless scrolling and a little
more solitude.
You could go on for days withthis.
Maybe it's a little lesssmoking.
You know doesn't mean younecessarily are going to quit
(15:02):
today, but maybe a little lesssmoking would still be a good
thing for your health.
Maybe a little bit more freshair, more walking, maybe a
little less screen time and alittle bit more sleep that is a
big one.
I think that's something wecould probably all use.
Anyway, for you, you can put inwhatever it is that you need.
(15:24):
Maybe it's a little more timewith your family or a little
less work and a little bit moreplay.
Just have fun with this.
It can be a really fun exercise.
And then just you know youcan't do it all.
So pick a few things, pickmaybe three top things that you
really want to be intentionalabout, and then put them into
your notes on your phone andlook at them regularly so you
(15:46):
can remind yourself that youjust need to do a little bit
less and a little bit more.
And it's kind of amazing, whenyou think about doing something
consistently every single day,how much impact it can have on
your life.
I mean, look at your dentalcare.
You wouldn't save all of yourdental care up until Sunday and
then brush your teeth for a halfan hour.
(16:07):
That would be ridiculous.
But when you take care of yourdental health every single day,
it has a massive impact over thecourse of your life, right?
So here's a fun exercise thatmy girlfriend just reminded me
about, actually, which I thinkis super fun.
So you get yourself a jar, notfor your big rocks, but put it
on your desk.
Something pretty, maybe it's avase, maybe it's a box that you
(16:30):
love, whatever that is and getyourself some beautiful pieces
of paper or some sticky notesand once a week, write down
something amazing that happenedto you, something that lit you
up, that made you grateful,something that surprised you or
something you overcame, that wasawesome.
Write it down on a piece ofpaper and put it into the jar
(16:50):
and next year, on New Year's Eveor New Year's Day, I should say
, pull out the jar and enjoylooking at all of the small wins
you had through the entire year.
It can be a super powerfulgratitude exercise that'll set
next year up with some prettyawesome feelings.
A few years back I started to dothis exercise probably about
(17:11):
five, and this one I like tocall rules of the road and the
reason I came up with thisexercise is because for most of
my life I have been a chronicpeople pleaser, and it took me
till a few years ago to reallyrealize that not only was people
pleasing not serving me, but itactually wasn't serving others
(17:34):
either, because I was overgiving, I was depleted, I wasn't
happy, I was resentful.
So that piece of my life I hadto really start to work on and
once I actually began to sethealthy boundaries in place.
This is when I implemented therules of the road.
And this is the rules of theroad according to me, not
(17:57):
according to my mom or my spouseor my children or my boss.
It's the rules of the roadaccording to me, and these are
just little sentences, littlemantras, little reminders of
what matters and how we staygrounded in our authenticity and
who we want to show up as inthe world.
(18:17):
So I'll give you an example ofthe ones that I had, I think,
last year.
So this is my last year list.
Number one was what other peoplethink of me is none of my
business.
Number two is it's better toget forgiveness than permission.
Number three is never leave funto find fun.
That's one of my favorites.
Number four is everything isalways working out for me.
(18:41):
Number five be impeccable withmy word.
Number six I teach people howto treat me.
Number seven there's alwaysroom at my table for good humans
.
Number eight I live in abenevolent universe.
Number nine I am a spiritualbeing having a human experience.
(19:02):
Number 10, moderation is theorder of the day.
Number 11, my body's naturalstate is that of health and
well-being.
Number 12, movement is freedomand health is wealth, and I
threw in a baker's dozen and I'mgoing to definitely take this
(19:23):
one into my new year and it is.
If it's not a hell yes, it's ano or a not right now.
I needed that for sure lastyear and it's really helped me
to clarify the things that Iwant to participate in, instead
of having that knee jerkreaction of hey, can you help me
with this?
Sure, hey, would you do thisfor me?
(19:44):
Sure, I mean, I was very goodat being a yes woman for many,
many years, and it's not that Idon't say yes to things now, but
I just give myself theopportunity to reflect on
whether I can do it happily forsomeone, and that has served me
very well.
So, definitely, going on my2025 rules of the road list, the
(20:07):
next one is actually one of myfavorites.
I actually implemented this lastyear and it has been a game
changer for me, and, of course,I'm behind the microphone a lot
and I have recording gear andall the things, but what this
one is is to record your newlife affirmation in your own
voice, and what I mean by thisis is I want you to write down
(20:31):
an entire vision of what youwant this year to look like.
You've already gotten someclarity on the things that are
most important to you Inpositive speak.
I want you to talk about itlike it's already happened and
all the things that you'restriving to have happen, that
they've happened easily for youand how great it was that it
showed up for you, and it's areally powerful, powerful
(20:54):
exercise, and when you record itin your own voice, you don't
have to have fancy equipment todo this.
You can certainly do it on thevoice memo app on your iPhone.
I don't have an Android so I'mnot sure, but I'm sure they have
an equivalent there as well.
There's so much amazingtechnology today that it's not a
difficult thing to do, but it'sa really powerful experience.
And what I did last year is Iactually put a reminder on my
(21:16):
phone at 9 am, noon, 3 pm, 6 pmand 9 pm.
Now I'm not going to sit hereand tell you for sure that I
actually listened to myaffirmation five times a day,
but I tried to get two or three.
Sometimes I wasn't able to stopand just switch gears, which is
fine, but it's a really greatreminder to just stop, take five
(21:37):
minutes, and I now get up andactually go get a glass of water
, because water is something I'mreally working on this year.
So now, when my little alarmgoes off, I get up, actually go
get a glass of water, becausewater is something I'm really
working on this year.
So now, when my little alarmgoes off, I get up, I get a
glass of water and I listen tomy recording of what I want my
year to look like and I reallyallow myself to feel how good it
feels to believe that that'spossible for me, or that that's
(22:00):
already happened.
It is amazing how that cantransform you and help you to
call in the things that mattermost to you.
Okay, so I know this is a lot ofstuff to take in.
So, to recap, we did the yearin review, we did the reverse
bucket list, then we did theeight pillars of a happy life,
(22:23):
which is mind, body, spirit,health, wealth, family, friends
and purpose.
And then, once we did those andgave ourselves a little score
from one to 10, we sat down andfigured out one to three things
in each area of that part of ourlife that we want to work on
this year, and then we put ourbig rocks into the jar, and then
(22:45):
we talked about a little moreand a little less, and then we
got to the rules of the road,and that is something you can
implement for yourself if itfeels like a fit.
So, going back to the book, Ispoke about simple abundance and
Sarah Bon Brethnak one of thethings that she also talks about
in that book, which Iimplemented early, early on in
(23:08):
my life and I've kind ofactually gotten away from it, I
would say, over the last fewyears because I've been caring
for elderly parents and there'sbeen other things going on.
But I'm going to put it back inthis year and it's called the
creative excursion.
And the creative excursion isjust, it can be an hour if
that's all you have in your life, but ideally it would be maybe
(23:32):
an afternoon that you can setaside for yourself.
Maybe it's a Saturday morning,maybe it's a Sunday night and
you allow yourself to have a spanight.
The creative excursion can beanything you want it to be.
Ideally it's a couple of hoursat least, of time that you carve
out for just yourself, to justrecharge your batteries, to go
(23:56):
somewhere maybe you've nevergone before to do something.
Maybe you've never done before.
It's really about curiosity andshifting gears from, say, work
or caring for family or theother responsibilities that we
have and just carving out alittle bit of time for just you.
(24:17):
And that can be anything.
It could be lighting a candlein a room that you love and
reading a good book.
It could be, like, I say,having a spa night with your
favorite bath.
It could be going to thriftshops for the afternoon and just
being curious about what youmight find.
Maybe you go to the beach inthe afternoon.
(24:38):
One of the things I did a fewyears back which I loved is I
got up extra early and I droveout to the beach near our home
on the lake and I would justplop my chair in the sand by the
water and stick my feet in thewater and bring a cup of coffee,
a good book, and I would sitthere for a good hour or two
(24:59):
before anybody ever showed up.
And sometimes it was like, wow,I have this whole place to
myself.
It was amazing and it justallowed me to really reconnect
with myself and get centeredagain and grounded, and so
that's the whole purpose of thecreative excursion, and I'm so
grateful that I read about thatin Sarah's book so many years
(25:22):
ago.
So if you get the opportunityto implement that into your life
this year, I promise it is agame changer and will make you
just feel so much more connectedto yourself.
I love it and I hope you'll tryit too.
So if some of this informationis resonating with you and
you've enjoyed today's episode,I have created a journal called
(25:44):
Happy is Not an Accident andit's available.
I just released it on Amazonjust before Christmas.
There's a lot of these similarexercises in the book, but it's
basically a guided journal, hasa lot of awesome prompts to help
you get massive clarity aboutwhere you're going, not
necessarily just this year, butin life in general.
(26:04):
It's just a great companion tokind of follow through on a lot
of these exercises that wetalked about today.
So if that's something that youknow speaks to you, I hope
you'll check it out.
Happy is not an accident it'sup on Amazon now and I also
wanted to let you know becauseit is the new year.
I am a crazy paper girl.
(26:26):
I need to write things down.
I know that's really super oldschool, but I have planners I
guess calendars that I keep allof my activities on.
I keep my the amount of moneyI'm making.
I write down every appointment,I keep track of passwords and
financial goals and all kinds ofthings, and so it's something
(26:48):
that I have done for years.
In fact, I actually take theseplanners and I tuck them away
with my taxes, because it's likeI know at any given moment, if
I could open one of thosejournals, I can tell you exactly
where I was, what I was doing,what I was working on, what
goals I was, you know, tackling,and so I keep them because it's
such a great reminder.
And so I've created one calledthe Life is Delicious Weekly and
(27:12):
Monthly Planner.
There's a lot of these similarexercises.
In the beginning of the plannerit starts off with the year in
review all kinds of awesomeprompts to get you set up for
the new year, and it has lots ofblank pages at the back of the
book as well.
And then the rest of theplanner is set up as a week at a
(27:32):
glance and a month at a glance,and at the beginning of every
month it gives you theopportunity there's a couple of
pages for setting intentions forwhat you want to get out of
this month, and then at the endof the month.
There's actually a page to doan evaluation of whether you are
on track or if you need to dosomething different.
So it's a really powerful tool.
Again, I created it for myself.
(27:54):
I'm actually in a little bit ofwithdrawal right now because I
don't have a planner.
So this was just put up andshould be available on Amazon by
the end of this week, sosomewhere around the 10th or
11th of January, and if you areone of those people who likes to
write things down and see yourweek at a glance and know what
you have going on, I hope you'llcheck it out.
(28:22):
And I'm going to leave you withthis.
I've followed Wayne Dyer formost of my life and I remember
seeing him on a seminar and hehad interviewed a friend of his
called Portia Nelson and shetold him a story about how she
had been gone to this seminarand they said we want you to
write the story of your life.
This is what she wrote.
Chapter one I walk down thestreet and I see a deep hole in
the sidewalk.
(28:42):
I fall in.
I am lost and helpless.
It isn't my fault and it takesforever to get out.
Chapter two I walk down thesame street and I see there's a
deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the sameplace.
(29:05):
It isn't my fault and it stilltakes a long time to get out.
Chapter 3.
I walk down the same streetstreet and there's a deep hole
in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
My eyes are open.
I fall in again.
It's a habit.
(29:26):
I know where I am, it is myfault and I get out immediately.
Chapter 4.
I walk down the same street andthere's a deep hole in the
sidewalk.
I see it there and I navigatemy way around it.
Chapter 5.
(29:47):
I walk down a different street.
What street will you walk downthis year?
I hope you enjoyed this episodeand if you did, please share
this with someone you love.
And if you're not subscribed,make sure you hit that little
bell icon to make sure that youare notified when the next
(30:09):
episode comes out.
In case no one has told youtoday, there is not one person
on this planet that is exactlylike you, and the world is a
better place because you're here.
So thank you for being here.
Go make it the best year yetand I'll see you next time on.
(30:29):
Life is Delicious.
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