August 7, 2025 • 35 mins
Have you ever felt like you're trapped in a story that no longer serves you? In this transformative conversation with narrative coach and author Carrie KC West, we explore how viewing your life as a narrative can become a powerful tool for healing and reinvention.
Carrie shares her remarkable journey from a deeply traumatic childhood of neglect to becoming an expert in helping others rewrite their personal stories. Her epiphany came while studying film, when she realized her life was "a shitty story" that could be rewritten like a screenplay. This perspective shift became the foundation for her healing and eventual career helping others transform their lives.
We delve into the fascinating concept of our "origin stories" – how we enter life as blank slates on an already-running stage, absorbing messages and narratives from our environment that shape our foundation. Carrie explains how our brains naturally organize information through storytelling frameworks with characters, themes, and motivations, making story revision a powerful approach to personal growth.
The most practical takeaway comes in Carrie's discussion of "micro moments of change" – those decision points where we can choose a different path rather than repeating familiar plot points. She offers specific red flags to watch for, particularly the word "should," which often signals we're about to replay an old story given to us by someone else.
Whether you're facing life transitions, healing from past wounds, or simply feeling stuck in repetitive patterns, Carrie's approach offers a refreshing framework for becoming the author of your own life. As she proves through her own experience of finding love at 55 by rewriting her expectations, it's never too late to create a new chapter. Listen now to discover how you can transform your narrative and step into a more authentic, DELICIOUS life story.
https://www.LifeIsDelicious.ca/bookshelf ( Happy Is Not An Accident)
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Email: marnie@marniemartin.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, beautiful friend , it's Marnie.
Have you ever felt stuck,unfulfilled, overwhelmed or
trapped by the same old, sameold?
Well, I know I have, and I knowthere's definitely been times
in my life where I haven't feltlike the author of my own story.
So if you've ever felt like youneed a rewrite on the life that
(00:21):
you're living and to maybe getback in the driver's seat to
write your own story for thisnext chapter of your beautiful
life, then you are in the rightplace.
So stick around, because you'renot going to want to miss this.
As we all know, life isn'talways delicious, and one of the
only constants we have in lifeis that things are always
(00:42):
changing.
Life can be a beautiful mess oftwists and turns and as we grow
through each unique season oflife, our needs change, our
goals change, our prioritieschange and our responsibilities
change.
And sometimes, when the reallyhard stuff shows up, as it
inevitably will, we can findourselves lost and without a
(01:04):
clear direction.
Sometimes that can happen whenwe've had a huge life transition
, like a divorce or a diagnosis,or we realize that our babies
are all grown up and ready to beout on their own, and sometimes
it can be a subtle or not sosubtle restlessness that tells
us we're ready to step into abigger, bolder, more authentic
(01:25):
version of ourself.
But one thing is for sure wecan't transition into what's
next happily until we get reallyclear about what's weighing us
down, what lights us up and whatwe truly want when our soul
whispers its truth.
Happy is Not an Accident is aguided journal created to bring
you back home to your truestself, to remember who you are
(01:47):
and to give you a safe place toexplore and reflect on where
you've been, where you reallywant to go and who you want to
become now, with deep, inspiringprompts, thought-provoking
questions and powerful exercisesto help you excavate your most
authentic self.
Happy is not an accident willbe the daily ritual that you
look forward to as you step intothis next awesome chapter of
(02:11):
life.
Give yourself the gift ofself-reflection and create this
beautiful life of yours onpurpose and with intention.
Get your copy, or one forsomebody that you love, at
lifeisdeliciousca forward slash.
Happy.
At the heart of every singleperson's journey, whether it's
personal or professional, is astory that defines where you've
(02:35):
been and where you're headed,and what you believe to be true
for the possibilities of yourlife.
Today, I have a beautiful guest.
Her name is Keri Casey West.
She is an author, a speaker anda narrative coach, and she was
a storyteller who worked behindthe scenes in Hollywood for many
years, and now she helps peoplewrite their own breakthrough
(02:58):
stories, whether it's overcomingpersonal challenges or
elevating a brand.
So, whether you're looking torewrite the narrative of your
own life or tap into a newbusiness strategy or simply find
a new perspective for your life, keri Casey West is going to
give us some beautiful wisdom onhow to shape our own story.
(03:18):
Welcome, keri.
I'm so grateful to have youwith us today.
I'm thinking that we are goingto have a very illuminating
conversation.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
They usually are.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
It sounds like you have a fascinating story and I'm
super curious as to how you gotstarted with this work, and I
think a lot of it comes fromsome of your personal growing up
experience.
So maybe start us back there,give us a little bit of your
background and how it led you tothis place.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Wonderful, happy to.
I didn't have a very goodbeginning there.
You've heard the termdysfunctional, and I think that
is so overused.
There's a theory that none ofus get out of it unscathed.
You know, we all have somethingthat lingers with us or came
through from childhood.
So in my particular instance, Iwas neglected.
(04:10):
My parents decided that, oops,we shouldn't have had a kid.
And so what are we going to dowith her?
Well, let's leave her alone.
She'll figure it out.
And I'm not even exaggeratingwhen I say that I had to grow up
very quickly, but it was atough, tough, tough existence.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Did you have any siblings to go on that journey
with you?
Were you an only child?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Oh, I had siblings and they became a part of my
torture chamber.
So my two older siblings were apart of the problem.
My younger sister and I becamevery close, but I did everything
I could to protect her from thedamage that was done to me.
So I became her protector.
And so when my father died, itwas very traumatic for me, and
not the least because the day hedied he said to me three words
(05:03):
I'd always wanted to hear fromhim and he said to me that he
loved me.
And that just blew my mind,because he's never he was not a
present person anyway.
But then to say that made iteven more difficult because he
ended up dying.
About a half hour later he fellover from a massive heart
attack and died.
So I was left with this veryodd comment and then he leaves
(05:31):
and I had no way to process that.
So I really hit rock bottomafter that.
How old would you have been atthis point?
I was 24 when dad died, and soit was really traumatizing on
top of an already traumatic life.
So I went to work, I startedlooking, I started going to
(05:52):
therapy, I talked to anybody, Iwent to personal development, I
studied metaphysics, studied myspiritual growth, my personal
growth, my spiritual growth, mypersonal growth.
And when I went to film school,about 10 years later, 10 years
(06:14):
after he died, I went to filmschool and I should back up and
say one of the ways I gotthrough this beginning was I
would tell myself stories aboutmy real family looking for me.
And so you know, it's amazingto me how kids have a way of
taking care of themselves,things they do for self-care.
You know they suck thumbs, theyhave their teddies, they have a
blankie.
I told myself stories.
(06:34):
So I always love stories and asI studied it more in the work
that I do, I understand thevalue of stories and personal
narratives in person psychology.
So when I went to film school,we were sitting there doing a
film project and we're lookingat the characters and the themes
(06:57):
and the motivations and thejourney that the hero goes on
and how it's resolved in the endand as we're doing this, I had
this huge epiphany and myepiphany was my life is a story.
It's a shitty one, but it's astory.
And I thought, well, maybe if Icould change the characters or
(07:19):
change some of these things likewe do in a movie project, maybe
I could rewrite my story,because it's always interesting
when you, even on the day you'refilming, they talk about
rewrites.
Where are today's rewrites?
Where are today's rewrites?
Because you're constantlyfinagling and fine-tuning and
updating different things on thescript.
(07:40):
Once you get into the actualprocess of the story, if you
ever get a chance to watch amovie being made, it's really
quite fascinating.
So, and it really applies towhat we do as storytellers of
our own personal narratives, sothat just for some reason, that
landed so firmly with me and Istarted investigating and
putting my life into the contextof it being a story and putting
(08:01):
my life into the context of itbeing a story.
And when I did that, I couldunderstand it and made sense to
me.
So it started with the originstory and that's a direct
correlation to a backstory.
(08:21):
When you're watching a TV pilotor a movie, the first 15 minutes
of the movie, the first pilot,is where you learn about your
characters right.
They give you, they find theseways to tell you about this
character.
It could be the costumes, itcould be the language, it could
be the people they interact with.
They make one comment to aperson and you know that they're
married and have six kids.
It's amazing to me how elegantwriters are when they're trying
(08:45):
to get across this person.
We want to follow in on thisstory when you're in a movie or
TV show.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
That's fascinating.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Isn't it though?
Yeah, but you have to get thatconnection.
You have to understand why weare interested in this character
, why we are interested in thischaracter, and that, to me,
directly correlates to ourpersonal origin stories, and
what I mean by that is whenwe're born, we're little babies.
(09:13):
We leave the womb and we landon a stage in a play, in a story
that's been going on forseveral years.
We don't know where our parentsare in life.
When we're born, we don't knowif we're the only child or if we
have siblings.
We don't know if we're beingput up for adoption.
You know, we have none of thisinformation.
(09:34):
All we know is that we're inthis bright, shiny space with
all this noise, and we're likewhere the heck are we?
So you?
Speaker 1 (09:42):
become part of the story.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Yes, yes, as in order for us to kick in this sense of
belonging that we all havebecause belonging is survival
for us in our lizard brains weneed to be a part of this group.
We need to feel the safety andsecurity of being a part of this
(10:06):
village or this tribe or thisgroup that we find ourselves in.
So we started adopting andabsorbing all the messages, all
the stories, all the informationwe're given from this core
group of people.
So when you look at your originstory, it's amazing to me how
your origin story is so presentin who you are today.
(10:29):
I don't care if you're 10, 20,or 200.
Your origin story, you can seeit very well delineated in the
person you are at this verymoment.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Do you think you would use the analogy of, say, a
foundation for a house would belike your origin story would be
the foundation of which, howyou build your life?
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Absolutely, that's brilliant.
May I use that?
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Yes, you can.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
No, you're absolutely right.
Again, you come in completelyblank slate, so you need
something to build from right.
Absolutely, this origin storydoes become your foundational
story when you start looking atthat and you understand who your
parents were.
First of all, I think we askids put our parents up on
pedestals and we have toremember that before they became
(11:17):
mom and dad they had their ownstories.
Right, and we all have multiplestories anyway.
You know we have.
You have Marnie, the podcaststory, Marnie, the partner,
Marnie, the friend, Marnie.
I don't know if you have kids,but if you do yeah, mom,
daughter, cousins.
Yeah, so you are all thosestories.
(11:38):
They may become a part of youridentity.
It's such a complex person thatwe are.
We are so complex that this iswhy I like the story analogy the
best.
I talk to so many differentpeople about how do I really
make true life transformationand I just don't believe there
is a one size fits all packagefor anybody, because we're so
(12:01):
complex, we have so many piecesto our puzzle and that's what
makes us beautiful as humanbeing and that also what makes
us challenging as human beingsAbsolutely yeah.
So the story analogy gave me away to understand that, and when
I share that with people, youwouldn't believe how many times
(12:24):
I can almost see them physicallyrelaxed, because it's this
awareness and an understandingof who we are as a whole person.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
So how did you reconcile some of that?
You know real hardship growingup and how did you find your way
into healing yourself andmoving into the film industry?
How did that come about?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Well, I had to.
First of all, I had tounderstand that there's a lot of
broken people in any industry.
And because of my pain andshame, I thought I was a
terribly flawed person, whichmeant I didn't deserve to have a
career I wanted or the work Iwanted.
So when I started doing thiswork, I was driven because I
(13:09):
really wanted to be in the filmindustry.
I like storytelling.
What's the better place to goto be a storyteller than the
film industry?
And so just being in thatenergy, just being on a studio
lot, it's just.
It's really a whole differentspace.
So I thought, if I'm going todo this, I need to take a look
(13:31):
at why don't I feel deserving?
And again, that brought me backto my origin story, because I
was rejected on the day I wasborn.
I had to deal with this fear ofrejection and a fear of
abandonment, and that allcontributed to me having walls,
space around me to protectmyself.
I needed protections because Iwas terrified of getting
rejected, so I had to understandthe root of myself.
I needed protections because Iwas terrified of getting
(13:51):
rejected, so I had to understandthe root of that.
I had to understand the originof it, and it took me right to
that very first day when momrejected me.
She didn't want to hold me inthe hospital, didn't want to
feed me.
But then I had to realize I hada lot of anger and pain and a
lot of trauma because I neverknew if I was going to be fed.
I never knew if I was going tohave diapers changed, and as an
(14:13):
infant that's traumatic.
So I had to look at my traumaand then took that apart and saw
the rage and how angry I wasfor my situation.
I was angry at mom, dad, godspirits, I was angry at
everybody.
Why did you do this to me?
When I got over my rage and myanger, I looked for
(14:37):
understanding and that's wherethe origin story came in.
It wasn't that my mom hated meand I think you know she died
shortly after my dad, so wenever had the chance to have
this conversation.
But I think on some level mymom did love me.
But I came to realize that mymom was a broken woman.
(14:57):
She had probably a worsebackground than I did.
She was one of 13 people froman immigrant family and they had
kids to work in the fields andthe farm.
They were farmers.
They didn't have kids becausethey wanted to love and nurture
them and give them a good life.
So there she had her owntraumas.
(15:19):
She had mental health issuesthat came out when I was around
10 years old Not that it wasn'tto do with her, you know.
There was a part of me thatthought why didn't she take
steps to change here I amworking hard to change why?
Why didn't she do it At thatwhen I realized that I reached a
point where I said you knowmom's gone, so what's going to
(15:42):
be the best route for me?
And that's when I discovered thepower of forgiveness.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Mom was gone.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
I needed to forgive her, to set myself free
Absolutely.
Yeah, that's not always easy,but it's definitely a huge piece
of the puzzle.
No, it wasn't easy, but I didit.
Oh, I did it a few times andthere's layers to forgiveness.
You know there's.
You peel off one layer of itand you're good, but then
there's another layer that comesup.
So it's something that I wascommitted to, and every time
another layer came up, I justlooked at it, felt, felt my
(16:20):
feelings around it.
And there's also an easierpiece of it.
When I realized I didn't haveto forgive what she did, I could
forgive the why she did itRight, I started to feel a great
deal of compassion for her.
She didn't give herself theopportunity of a great life,
whereas I have a great life, butI understand her as a woman in
(16:43):
the time period she was in andwhat she had on her.
That was a challenge for her.
That had nothing to do with me,marnie, nothing at all.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Nothing at all, I know, and that's the most
interesting part, because wecan't change our past, but we
can change what the past meansto us, and then we have the
opportunity for forgiveness andeven the compassion you know.
I mean, you're talking abouthow you have a great life, but
you have a great life becauseyou chose to have a great life,
correct, and that's notsomething everybody chooses to
(17:18):
do, that's right.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
I often say to people , and my clients especially
change doesn't necessarily comein big, sweeping movements, but
real transformation in lifecomes from micro moments of
change, and what I mean by thatis you are standing at a
(17:41):
crossroads and you are triggeredor you have a decision point to
make.
I realized I could stay mad atmy parents forever and blame
them for the rest of my life.
But did I want to do that ordid I want to forgive them and
take the other road?
That, to me, is a micro momentof change.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Yeah, one of the things I always find fascinating
is that oftentimes, when peoplegrow up in a really challenging
early life, quite oftenespecially if you can get to
where you are and you find thatcompassion or to be able to look
at their life with a differentlens quite often it also becomes
fuel to make sure you don'trepeat some of those same
(18:23):
patterns.
Exactly, exactly, which isamazing.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
You really can.
When you start seeing your lifeas a story, you can start
saying, wow, I'm more determinedthan I thought I was.
Wow, I see what they did there.
What if I went down anotherroad?
Really, can give you a map forhow to maneuver through this
complex thing we call life.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Absolutely.
I love that because we talkquite a bit on the podcast about
being in the driver's seat ofour life and how to do that, and
I think it's really important,like when you speak about a
story, that even oftentimes whenwe're in our own story, maybe
we're not happy, maybe we'relonely, maybe there's something
that's missing, and so we gofind another character to add
(19:10):
what we are missing into ourstory.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Yes, yes, boy, you really get this.
This is exciting.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Well, I've never really thought of it from this
perspective, but I think it'sreally fascinating because it's
I haven't used this particularlanguage with it before, but
it's.
It's a lot of what I teach, andI work with a group called
Mindset Mastery for MidlifeWomen and we talk about similar
topics, but I love the storycomponent because it really does
make sense.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
It fits.
Can I share why there's areason why it fits A hundred
percent?
I love that.
Our brains want coherence.
They want organization.
They are dealing with much morethan what we see, feel, hear,
taste, listen to whatever theyare in constant.
The brain is constant motionand is collecting every bit of
(19:59):
information that's occurringaround you 24-7.
Even when you're sleeping yourbrains are functioning.
Stories are a natural way toorganize information.
Stories have a beginning, amiddle and an end.
You have characters.
So when you're in your brain,your brain is thinking okay,
(20:19):
that's a character in this story.
This is where I'm going to putit in that story.
And, by the way, a characterdoesn't necessarily have to be a
person.
A character can be the doubtfulthoughts in your mind.
Characters are really the keyelement of your story.
So your brain works very wellunderstanding characters or
(20:41):
characterizations of what wewould call an inanimate object
or know like your alter ego oryour negative self-talk version
of yourself.
Exactly so.
All these things make it easyfor the brain to make sense of
it.
Then you have themes.
You know, in a movie, yourstandard themes of love beats
(21:03):
evil.
Love always wins, good beatsevil, Power corrupts.
So the theme is also themessage you want to give.
It's what you want to show,it's the moral to the story.
Then you have motivations.
Go to a casting call or go to afilming and you'll often hear
the actor say what's mymotivation?
Why am I saying this line?
(21:24):
It doesn't roll off the tongue.
For me and for an actor, theline should roll off the tongue.
It should be able to embeditself into their being and into
this character that they'reportraying.
So your motivations are anotherway and again, your brains will
help you understand motivations.
Now, if it's filtered throughsome of your bad themes, you
(21:49):
won't get the right motivation.
People speak to you and theyhave their motivations for why
they're doing something, butyour filters misinterpret it
because your brain is taking theinformation through the filters
, through the themes.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
And that's where we can get tripped up, because we
have assumptions about what wethink it means, when it actually
doesn't mean that at all.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Exactly, but your brain, organizing information,
has categorized this as uh-oh,trouble, trouble.
And the good news is, when youstart taking this apart, when
you start rewriting your stories, your brain will comply.
Your brain is a great script,doctor, it'll help you.
It's like all right, we'll putthat scene over here then.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Yeah, and I think it's fascinating even from the
perspective of not only storycreation, but from a place of
manifesting.
The stories that we make up, orthe visualizations that we make
up, quite often help us tobring into our life the things
that we're missing or the thingsthat we're looking to attract.
So, storytelling is a massive,big part of all of that as well.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Exactly exactly when you're manifesting and
visualizing.
Aren't we just creating a story?
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Absolutely, and it goes to show the power of your
mind and how you can transformyour life and your story by
giving your mind somethingpositive to focus on and
something to work towards,rather than focusing on what's
been wrong or what we can'tchange.
Correct, change, correct.
(23:30):
So I was reading one of yourreviews and I saw that somebody
said your book called LifeRewritten, which is?
Is it just a brand new release?
March came out the middle ofMarch, awesome, okay.
So one of the reviews I readsaid that it's the Swiss army
knife of a book, part memoir,part toolkit and part
instructional guide.
So can you give some of thelisteners just a few tips on how
(23:51):
they can transform theirnarrative, maybe just on a
day-to-day basis, with somesmall things that they could do?
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Well, the first thing that I tell everybody is build
awareness of where you get stuckand you repeat patterns.
Repeated patterns are repeatedplot points.
It's the hero who keeps walkinginto the wall.
Did you ever watch a movie?
And it's like come on, don't dothat.
You did that before.
Stop walking into that darnwall.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Yeah, the babysitter in the basement, with the serial
killer upstairs.
And why?
Speaker 2 (24:26):
are they always at night?
Why Can't you think aboutleaving the house in the
basement with the serial killerupstairs and why are they?
always at night?
Why Can't you think aboutleaving the house in the daytime
?
Why do you keep doing that?
I totally agree.
So the first thing is theawareness.
What's the repeats?
Are you somebody who alwaysdates the wrong people, always
works for bosses who are alwaysthe bad guy?
(24:47):
The other clue I have withpeople to really know you're in
a story the minute somebody says, well, I should do that Red
flag Should is a story you'reabout to repeat and it's usually
a story that was given to youand in should is also a great
(25:10):
time you can do a micro momentof change, which is, again, I
think, one of the most powerfulthings we can do.
When you are in that moment ofawareness of a story, question
what you can do to change thatstory.
What is the different decisionyou can do to have a different
(25:32):
outcome.
But if you understand that youare doing something because you
were trained to or you were madeto believe that was the right
way to go, that's when you needto step back, take a deep breath
and say what can I dodifferently right at this very
moment?
Speaker 1 (25:51):
And often, when you hear the word should, it's
usually somebody else's voice inyour head, right.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Exactly, exactly.
It's another, it's anotherstoryteller in your head.
It's in that moment of changewhen you can take that moment
and stop what you're about to do, stop the reaction that you're
about to have.
And I know, believe me, I'vebeen there a billion times and
it's hard sometimes, where youknow, especially because I was
(26:17):
so traumatized, triggers andPTSD was huge for me and I would
sometimes get triggered and bedown for hours in the darkness
because I just did not know howto respond.
But the way I got out of it wasI just started training myself
to remember that this is notanything more than a story, an
(26:39):
old story, a bad story.
So once you can calm down andcalm down your autonomic nervous
system because that's what getstriggered you can start
thinking of ways through.
In my book I actually offerseveral, several techniques to
deal with themes and motivationsand characters and how you can
(27:01):
just stop, take a moment andthink about a new way to step
forward.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Yeah, and I think our words are so powerful and we
forget that when we say thingsover and over again, it's like
cementing the behavior ratherthan saying.
Instead of always saying likeI'm always late, I'm always late
, no, I'm trying to be early andjust finding a new way to
reframe that dialogue that canactually help to rewire your
(27:31):
brain for success.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Yes, yes, yes, and it takes focus and practice, but I
promise you, your brains wantto comply and your brain does.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
It's interesting looking at this from the place
of a story and how we canrewrite our story, because I
think, especially when we're inthis sort of mid section of life
, we've done all the thingswe're supposed to do.
You know, we've been a mompossibly not everybody, but
usually we've built a career,We've looked after our parents
and our you know relatives, andthen we come to this crossroads
(28:09):
where it's like we want toreinvent a little bit, and we
need to maybe.
Maybe we've've outgrown thatstory and maybe it's time to add
some new elements to the storyso that we can live a different
chapter of the story.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Absolutely, there's always another chapter to be
written.
And I will say for peoplelistening I had so many, I had
so much trouble dating.
Dating to me was the worst jobinterview in the world, and so I
rarely had a boyfriend.
I rarely had that connection.
It wasn't until I was 55 yearsold that a gentleman I'd been
(28:46):
friends with for a couple yearswe were having dinner and all of
a sudden we looked at eachother and said hold on, there's
something more here.
And I said to him there can'tbe.
We haven't even gone on a date.
And he said and he's British,and we were in England at the
time.
I had moved to England for asummer.
And and he said well, what areyou doing tomorrow night?
I have a great pub in Lesliethat I'll take you to.
(29:08):
We've been together ever since.
It's just been togetherreframing this story.
Yes, cause I had decided that Iwasn't going to listen to what
people I mean at 55, I was.
I was kind of like well, I, I,I'm not going to have kids at
this point, I'm not going to dothe usual thing that women do in
(29:30):
a in a relationship.
So I'm just gonna.
I'm just gonna say I'm open toa relationship.
What do you got?
And this, it was just so weirdhow it turned out.
It was very funny.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Well, also because you were open to maybe looking
at a different plot line.
How's that?
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Exactly.
I was finally able to say I'mgoing to have my own story
around the relationship.
I don't have to have what'sexpected of me.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
No, I love that so much and I think that's a really
powerful way of looking at ourlife and seeing a different
perspective.
I think that's amazing.
So tell us a little bit aboutyour book and tell us what
readers can expect, and give usa just a little synopsis as to
(30:18):
what they can expect to get fromthat.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
Well, my book is unusual.
Again, my expectations for thebook.
It's three parts.
Each chapter is a segment fromhow to how do you look at your
life as a story?
So I start off each chapterwith a story from my life that
applies to the element, and thenI talk about the element of the
(30:44):
story and then I give you a howto how to work it through in
your life.
I did that because I did notwant to have to ask people to
buy a workbook on top ofeverything else.
This, to me, was a prettystraightforward way to present
the information and thenencourage people to follow
through.
The one thing I didn't do and Iwish I would have is I
(31:04):
encourage people to get ajournal.
But I heard from one reader whosaid she's an artist, so
instead of journaling she wouldpaint or draw what she was
feeling and expressing, and Ithought how clever there's
somebody writing her story.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
She's doing it her way on her term.
Absolutely so.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
I would like to encourage you to say what works
for you in how you want todocument what you're doing.
Do you do better with recording?
Record your story, write itdown, paint a picture, dance it,
do it with movement, whateverit is to understand what your
story is.
And once you understand thestory, I actually give you
(31:48):
techniques for how to change it.
But my biggest technique isawareness and making a new
decision at that moment in time.
That's the most powerful thing.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
I love that and it's really in line.
I have a book that's calledHappy is Not an Accident and
it's actually a journal.
It's a guided journal and itreally is kind of exactly along
that same line, because I feellike people can't move into a
new way of being until theyunderstand why they're being
where they are.
And to get that awareness ishuge and to be able to put it in
(32:19):
words or, like you say, in apainting or whatever way, helps
you to find that awareness isthe first step to being able to
say I want something else.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Yes, yes, and also, when you write it down, or paint
it, or dance or talk about it,it takes it out of the body, it
takes that energy out of yourbody so you can see it, yeah,
and recognize it Exactly, andnot be afraid of it, Exactly
because it is just a piece ofthe puzzle.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
It's not the whole piece, Exactly.
That's really cool.
Well, tell everybody.
I'm going to put all of theinformation on how to reach you
into the show notes and how toget your book.
But maybe just give thelisteners, before we wrap up, a
little bit more about how elsethey could work with you.
If there's some other coursesand I know you do some speaking
(33:08):
events and you've got all kindsof things so maybe give us a
little highlight of that andthen we'll make sure to include
that in the show notes as well.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Perfect, thank you.
My website kerrykcwestcomC-A-R-R-I-E-K-C-W-E-S-Tcom has a
list of events and my new.
I have two books coming outBusiness Rewritten for the
business people in the audience,and my favorite is Money
(33:35):
Rewritten.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Amazing.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
I have a course starting next week on rewriting
your relationship with've takenthis concept.
That is really an imaginaryconstruct and it has so much
control and power on our lives.
(33:57):
I take apart our relationshipwith money and help people
rewrite that, and that courseagain starts next week and I'm
going to be offering that a fewtimes and that's all on the
website kerrycaseywestcom.
I also do individual sessions.
They're all listed on thewebsite as well.
The stories I'm hearing frompeople are so inspiring to me,
(34:19):
so anytime you can share yourstory, I encourage you to do
that.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Oh, that's really powerful.
Well, I look forward to seeingthe other two books come out,
and I'm certain that it will beof immense value to our
listeners, and I'm so gratefulthat you could put a little time
aside for us to have aconversation today.
I think this was reallyvaluable and I hope we can do it
again.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
I'd love that.
It's a pleasure, Marnie, Reallytruly a pleasure.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
I hope you enjoyed today's episode.
I hope it inspired you ormotivated you in some way to
keep going and to create yourvery best life.
Want to know what to do next?
Share this episode with someonethat you love who maybe just
needs a little more delicious intheir life.
Join my free Facebook communityover at Mindset Mastery for
(35:05):
Midlife Women, where like-mindedwomen come together to support
and inspire each other and wherewe get to hang out together and
I offer cool bonuses, videosand some extra content.
And lastly, don't forget tosubscribe so that when new
episodes drop, they'll be queuedup and ready for you.
In case no one has told youtoday, there's not one person on
(35:28):
this planet that is exactlylike you, and the world is a
better place because you're here.
So thank you for being here.
I'll be back next week and Ihope you'll join me right here
on Life is Delicious.
Hey, beautiful friend , it's Marnie.
Have you ever felt stuck,unfulfilled, overwhelmed or
trapped by the same old, sameold?
Well, I know I have, and I knowthere's definitely been times
in my life where I haven't feltlike the author of my own story.
So if you've ever felt like youneed a rewrite on the life that
(00:21):
you're living and to maybe getback in the driver's seat to
write your own story for thisnext chapter of your beautiful
life, then you are in the rightplace.
So stick around, because you'renot going to want to miss this.
As we all know, life isn'talways delicious, and one of the
only constants we have in lifeis that things are always
(00:42):
changing.
Life can be a beautiful mess oftwists and turns and as we grow
through each unique season oflife, our needs change, our
goals change, our prioritieschange and our responsibilities
change.
And sometimes, when the reallyhard stuff shows up, as it
inevitably will, we can findourselves lost and without a
(01:04):
clear direction.
Sometimes that can happen whenwe've had a huge life transition
, like a divorce or a diagnosis,or we realize that our babies
are all grown up and ready to beout on their own, and sometimes
it can be a subtle or not sosubtle restlessness that tells
us we're ready to step into abigger, bolder, more authentic
(01:25):
version of ourself.
But one thing is for sure wecan't transition into what's
next happily until we get reallyclear about what's weighing us
down, what lights us up and whatwe truly want when our soul
whispers its truth.
Happy is Not an Accident is aguided journal created to bring
you back home to your truestself, to remember who you are
(01:47):
and to give you a safe place toexplore and reflect on where
you've been, where you reallywant to go and who you want to
become now, with deep, inspiringprompts, thought-provoking
questions and powerful exercisesto help you excavate your most
authentic self.
Happy is not an accident willbe the daily ritual that you
look forward to as you step intothis next awesome chapter of
(02:11):
life.
Give yourself the gift ofself-reflection and create this
beautiful life of yours onpurpose and with intention.
Get your copy, or one forsomebody that you love, at
lifeisdeliciousca forward slash.
Happy.
At the heart of every singleperson's journey, whether it's
personal or professional, is astory that defines where you've
(02:35):
been and where you're headed,and what you believe to be true
for the possibilities of yourlife.
Today, I have a beautiful guest.
Her name is Keri Casey West.
She is an author, a speaker anda narrative coach, and she was
a storyteller who worked behindthe scenes in Hollywood for many
years, and now she helps peoplewrite their own breakthrough
(02:58):
stories, whether it's overcomingpersonal challenges or
elevating a brand.
So, whether you're looking torewrite the narrative of your
own life or tap into a newbusiness strategy or simply find
a new perspective for your life, keri Casey West is going to
give us some beautiful wisdom onhow to shape our own story.
(03:18):
Welcome, keri.
I'm so grateful to have youwith us today.
I'm thinking that we are goingto have a very illuminating
conversation.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
They usually are.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
It sounds like you have a fascinating story and I'm
super curious as to how you gotstarted with this work, and I
think a lot of it comes fromsome of your personal growing up
experience.
So maybe start us back there,give us a little bit of your
background and how it led you tothis place.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Wonderful, happy to.
I didn't have a very goodbeginning there.
You've heard the termdysfunctional, and I think that
is so overused.
There's a theory that none ofus get out of it unscathed.
You know, we all have somethingthat lingers with us or came
through from childhood.
So in my particular instance, Iwas neglected.
(04:10):
My parents decided that, oops,we shouldn't have had a kid.
And so what are we going to dowith her?
Well, let's leave her alone.
She'll figure it out.
And I'm not even exaggeratingwhen I say that I had to grow up
very quickly, but it was atough, tough, tough existence.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Did you have any siblings to go on that journey
with you?
Were you an only child?
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Oh, I had siblings and they became a part of my
torture chamber.
So my two older siblings were apart of the problem.
My younger sister and I becamevery close, but I did everything
I could to protect her from thedamage that was done to me.
So I became her protector.
And so when my father died, itwas very traumatic for me, and
not the least because the day hedied he said to me three words
(05:03):
I'd always wanted to hear fromhim and he said to me that he
loved me.
And that just blew my mind,because he's never he was not a
present person anyway.
But then to say that made iteven more difficult because he
ended up dying.
About a half hour later he fellover from a massive heart
attack and died.
So I was left with this veryodd comment and then he leaves
(05:31):
and I had no way to process that.
So I really hit rock bottomafter that.
How old would you have been atthis point?
I was 24 when dad died, and soit was really traumatizing on
top of an already traumatic life.
So I went to work, I startedlooking, I started going to
(05:52):
therapy, I talked to anybody, Iwent to personal development, I
studied metaphysics, studied myspiritual growth, my personal
growth, my spiritual growth, mypersonal growth.
And when I went to film school,about 10 years later, 10 years
(06:14):
after he died, I went to filmschool and I should back up and
say one of the ways I gotthrough this beginning was I
would tell myself stories aboutmy real family looking for me.
And so you know, it's amazingto me how kids have a way of
taking care of themselves,things they do for self-care.
You know they suck thumbs, theyhave their teddies, they have a
blankie.
I told myself stories.
(06:34):
So I always love stories and asI studied it more in the work
that I do, I understand thevalue of stories and personal
narratives in person psychology.
So when I went to film school,we were sitting there doing a
film project and we're lookingat the characters and the themes
(06:57):
and the motivations and thejourney that the hero goes on
and how it's resolved in the endand as we're doing this, I had
this huge epiphany and myepiphany was my life is a story.
It's a shitty one, but it's astory.
And I thought, well, maybe if Icould change the characters or
(07:19):
change some of these things likewe do in a movie project, maybe
I could rewrite my story,because it's always interesting
when you, even on the day you'refilming, they talk about
rewrites.
Where are today's rewrites?
Where are today's rewrites?
Because you're constantlyfinagling and fine-tuning and
updating different things on thescript.
(07:40):
Once you get into the actualprocess of the story, if you
ever get a chance to watch amovie being made, it's really
quite fascinating.
So, and it really applies towhat we do as storytellers of
our own personal narratives, sothat just for some reason, that
landed so firmly with me and Istarted investigating and
putting my life into the contextof it being a story and putting
(08:01):
my life into the context of itbeing a story.
And when I did that, I couldunderstand it and made sense to
me.
So it started with the originstory and that's a direct
correlation to a backstory.
(08:21):
When you're watching a TV pilotor a movie, the first 15 minutes
of the movie, the first pilot,is where you learn about your
characters right.
They give you, they find theseways to tell you about this
character.
It could be the costumes, itcould be the language, it could
be the people they interact with.
They make one comment to aperson and you know that they're
married and have six kids.
It's amazing to me how elegantwriters are when they're trying
(08:45):
to get across this person.
We want to follow in on thisstory when you're in a movie or
TV show.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
That's fascinating.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Isn't it though?
Yeah, but you have to get thatconnection.
You have to understand why weare interested in this character
, why we are interested in thischaracter, and that, to me,
directly correlates to ourpersonal origin stories, and
what I mean by that is whenwe're born, we're little babies.
(09:13):
We leave the womb and we landon a stage in a play, in a story
that's been going on forseveral years.
We don't know where our parentsare in life.
When we're born, we don't knowif we're the only child or if we
have siblings.
We don't know if we're beingput up for adoption.
You know, we have none of thisinformation.
(09:34):
All we know is that we're inthis bright, shiny space with
all this noise, and we're likewhere the heck are we?
So you?
Speaker 1 (09:42):
become part of the story.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Yes, yes, as in order for us to kick in this sense of
belonging that we all havebecause belonging is survival
for us in our lizard brains weneed to be a part of this group.
We need to feel the safety andsecurity of being a part of this
(10:06):
village or this tribe or thisgroup that we find ourselves in.
So we started adopting andabsorbing all the messages, all
the stories, all the informationwe're given from this core
group of people.
So when you look at your originstory, it's amazing to me how
your origin story is so presentin who you are today.
(10:29):
I don't care if you're 10, 20,or 200.
Your origin story, you can seeit very well delineated in the
person you are at this verymoment.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Do you think you would use the analogy of, say, a
foundation for a house would belike your origin story would be
the foundation of which, howyou build your life?
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Absolutely, that's brilliant.
May I use that?
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Yes, you can.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
No, you're absolutely right.
Again, you come in completelyblank slate, so you need
something to build from right.
Absolutely, this origin storydoes become your foundational
story when you start looking atthat and you understand who your
parents were.
First of all, I think we askids put our parents up on
pedestals and we have toremember that before they became
(11:17):
mom and dad they had their ownstories.
Right, and we all have multiplestories anyway.
You know we have.
You have Marnie, the podcaststory, Marnie, the partner,
Marnie, the friend, Marnie.
I don't know if you have kids,but if you do yeah, mom,
daughter, cousins.
Yeah, so you are all thosestories.
(11:38):
They may become a part of youridentity.
It's such a complex person thatwe are.
We are so complex that this iswhy I like the story analogy the
best.
I talk to so many differentpeople about how do I really
make true life transformationand I just don't believe there
is a one size fits all packagefor anybody, because we're so
(12:01):
complex, we have so many piecesto our puzzle and that's what
makes us beautiful as humanbeing and that also what makes
us challenging as human beingsAbsolutely yeah.
So the story analogy gave me away to understand that, and when
I share that with people, youwouldn't believe how many times
(12:24):
I can almost see them physicallyrelaxed, because it's this
awareness and an understandingof who we are as a whole person.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
So how did you reconcile some of that?
You know real hardship growingup and how did you find your way
into healing yourself andmoving into the film industry?
How did that come about?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Well, I had to.
First of all, I had tounderstand that there's a lot of
broken people in any industry.
And because of my pain andshame, I thought I was a
terribly flawed person, whichmeant I didn't deserve to have a
career I wanted or the work Iwanted.
So when I started doing thiswork, I was driven because I
(13:09):
really wanted to be in the filmindustry.
I like storytelling.
What's the better place to goto be a storyteller than the
film industry?
And so just being in thatenergy, just being on a studio
lot, it's just.
It's really a whole differentspace.
So I thought, if I'm going todo this, I need to take a look
(13:31):
at why don't I feel deserving?
And again, that brought me backto my origin story, because I
was rejected on the day I wasborn.
I had to deal with this fear ofrejection and a fear of
abandonment, and that allcontributed to me having walls,
space around me to protectmyself.
I needed protections because Iwas terrified of getting
rejected, so I had to understandthe root of myself.
I needed protections because Iwas terrified of getting
(13:51):
rejected, so I had to understandthe root of that.
I had to understand the originof it, and it took me right to
that very first day when momrejected me.
She didn't want to hold me inthe hospital, didn't want to
feed me.
But then I had to realize I hada lot of anger and pain and a
lot of trauma because I neverknew if I was going to be fed.
I never knew if I was going tohave diapers changed, and as an
(14:13):
infant that's traumatic.
So I had to look at my traumaand then took that apart and saw
the rage and how angry I wasfor my situation.
I was angry at mom, dad, godspirits, I was angry at
everybody.
Why did you do this to me?
When I got over my rage and myanger, I looked for
(14:37):
understanding and that's wherethe origin story came in.
It wasn't that my mom hated meand I think you know she died
shortly after my dad, so wenever had the chance to have
this conversation.
But I think on some level mymom did love me.
But I came to realize that mymom was a broken woman.
(14:57):
She had probably a worsebackground than I did.
She was one of 13 people froman immigrant family and they had
kids to work in the fields andthe farm.
They were farmers.
They didn't have kids becausethey wanted to love and nurture
them and give them a good life.
So there she had her owntraumas.
(15:19):
She had mental health issuesthat came out when I was around
10 years old Not that it wasn'tto do with her, you know.
There was a part of me thatthought why didn't she take
steps to change here I amworking hard to change why?
Why didn't she do it At thatwhen I realized that I reached a
point where I said you knowmom's gone, so what's going to
(15:42):
be the best route for me?
And that's when I discovered thepower of forgiveness.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Mom was gone.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
I needed to forgive her, to set myself free
Absolutely.
Yeah, that's not always easy,but it's definitely a huge piece
of the puzzle.
No, it wasn't easy, but I didit.
Oh, I did it a few times andthere's layers to forgiveness.
You know there's.
You peel off one layer of itand you're good, but then
there's another layer that comesup.
So it's something that I wascommitted to, and every time
another layer came up, I justlooked at it, felt, felt my
(16:20):
feelings around it.
And there's also an easierpiece of it.
When I realized I didn't haveto forgive what she did, I could
forgive the why she did itRight, I started to feel a great
deal of compassion for her.
She didn't give herself theopportunity of a great life,
whereas I have a great life, butI understand her as a woman in
(16:43):
the time period she was in andwhat she had on her.
That was a challenge for her.
That had nothing to do with me,marnie, nothing at all.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Nothing at all, I know, and that's the most
interesting part, because wecan't change our past, but we
can change what the past meansto us, and then we have the
opportunity for forgiveness andeven the compassion you know.
I mean, you're talking abouthow you have a great life, but
you have a great life becauseyou chose to have a great life,
correct, and that's notsomething everybody chooses to
(17:18):
do, that's right.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
I often say to people , and my clients especially
change doesn't necessarily comein big, sweeping movements, but
real transformation in lifecomes from micro moments of
change, and what I mean by thatis you are standing at a
(17:41):
crossroads and you are triggeredor you have a decision point to
make.
I realized I could stay mad atmy parents forever and blame
them for the rest of my life.
But did I want to do that ordid I want to forgive them and
take the other road?
That, to me, is a micro momentof change.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Yeah, one of the things I always find fascinating
is that oftentimes, when peoplegrow up in a really challenging
early life, quite oftenespecially if you can get to
where you are and you find thatcompassion or to be able to look
at their life with a differentlens quite often it also becomes
fuel to make sure you don'trepeat some of those same
(18:23):
patterns.
Exactly, exactly, which isamazing.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
You really can.
When you start seeing your lifeas a story, you can start
saying, wow, I'm more determinedthan I thought I was.
Wow, I see what they did there.
What if I went down anotherroad?
Really, can give you a map forhow to maneuver through this
complex thing we call life.
Speaker 1 (18:47):
Absolutely.
I love that because we talkquite a bit on the podcast about
being in the driver's seat ofour life and how to do that, and
I think it's really important,like when you speak about a
story, that even oftentimes whenwe're in our own story, maybe
we're not happy, maybe we'relonely, maybe there's something
that's missing, and so we gofind another character to add
(19:10):
what we are missing into ourstory.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Yes, yes, boy, you really get this.
This is exciting.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Well, I've never really thought of it from this
perspective, but I think it'sreally fascinating because it's
I haven't used this particularlanguage with it before, but
it's.
It's a lot of what I teach, andI work with a group called
Mindset Mastery for MidlifeWomen and we talk about similar
topics, but I love the storycomponent because it really does
make sense.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
It fits.
Can I share why there's areason why it fits A hundred
percent?
I love that.
Our brains want coherence.
They want organization.
They are dealing with much morethan what we see, feel, hear,
taste, listen to whatever theyare in constant.
The brain is constant motionand is collecting every bit of
(19:59):
information that's occurringaround you 24-7.
Even when you're sleeping yourbrains are functioning.
Stories are a natural way toorganize information.
Stories have a beginning, amiddle and an end.
You have characters.
So when you're in your brain,your brain is thinking okay,
(20:19):
that's a character in this story.
This is where I'm going to putit in that story.
And, by the way, a characterdoesn't necessarily have to be a
person.
A character can be the doubtfulthoughts in your mind.
Characters are really the keyelement of your story.
So your brain works very wellunderstanding characters or
(20:41):
characterizations of what wewould call an inanimate object
or know like your alter ego oryour negative self-talk version
of yourself.
Exactly so.
All these things make it easyfor the brain to make sense of
it.
Then you have themes.
You know, in a movie, yourstandard themes of love beats
(21:03):
evil.
Love always wins, good beatsevil, Power corrupts.
So the theme is also themessage you want to give.
It's what you want to show,it's the moral to the story.
Then you have motivations.
Go to a casting call or go to afilming and you'll often hear
the actor say what's mymotivation?
Why am I saying this line?
(21:24):
It doesn't roll off the tongue.
For me and for an actor, theline should roll off the tongue.
It should be able to embeditself into their being and into
this character that they'reportraying.
So your motivations are anotherway and again, your brains will
help you understand motivations.
Now, if it's filtered throughsome of your bad themes, you
(21:49):
won't get the right motivation.
People speak to you and theyhave their motivations for why
they're doing something, butyour filters misinterpret it
because your brain is taking theinformation through the filters
, through the themes.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
And that's where we can get tripped up, because we
have assumptions about what wethink it means, when it actually
doesn't mean that at all.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Exactly, but your brain, organizing information,
has categorized this as uh-oh,trouble, trouble.
And the good news is, when youstart taking this apart, when
you start rewriting your stories, your brain will comply.
Your brain is a great script,doctor, it'll help you.
It's like all right, we'll putthat scene over here then.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
Yeah, and I think it's fascinating even from the
perspective of not only storycreation, but from a place of
manifesting.
The stories that we make up, orthe visualizations that we make
up, quite often help us tobring into our life the things
that we're missing or the thingsthat we're looking to attract.
So, storytelling is a massive,big part of all of that as well.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Exactly exactly when you're manifesting and
visualizing.
Aren't we just creating a story?
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Absolutely, and it goes to show the power of your
mind and how you can transformyour life and your story by
giving your mind somethingpositive to focus on and
something to work towards,rather than focusing on what's
been wrong or what we can'tchange.
Correct, change, correct.
(23:30):
So I was reading one of yourreviews and I saw that somebody
said your book called LifeRewritten, which is?
Is it just a brand new release?
March came out the middle ofMarch, awesome, okay.
So one of the reviews I readsaid that it's the Swiss army
knife of a book, part memoir,part toolkit and part
instructional guide.
So can you give some of thelisteners just a few tips on how
(23:51):
they can transform theirnarrative, maybe just on a
day-to-day basis, with somesmall things that they could do?
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Well, the first thing that I tell everybody is build
awareness of where you get stuckand you repeat patterns.
Repeated patterns are repeatedplot points.
It's the hero who keeps walkinginto the wall.
Did you ever watch a movie?
And it's like come on, don't dothat.
You did that before.
Stop walking into that darnwall.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
Yeah, the babysitter in the basement, with the serial
killer upstairs.
And why?
Speaker 2 (24:26):
are they always at night?
Why Can't you think aboutleaving the house in the
basement with the serial killerupstairs and why are they?
always at night?
Why Can't you think aboutleaving the house in the daytime
?
Why do you keep doing that?
I totally agree.
So the first thing is theawareness.
What's the repeats?
Are you somebody who alwaysdates the wrong people, always
works for bosses who are alwaysthe bad guy?
(24:47):
The other clue I have withpeople to really know you're in
a story the minute somebody says, well, I should do that Red
flag Should is a story you'reabout to repeat and it's usually
a story that was given to youand in should is also a great
(25:10):
time you can do a micro momentof change, which is, again, I
think, one of the most powerfulthings we can do.
When you are in that moment ofawareness of a story, question
what you can do to change thatstory.
What is the different decisionyou can do to have a different
(25:32):
outcome.
But if you understand that youare doing something because you
were trained to or you were madeto believe that was the right
way to go, that's when you needto step back, take a deep breath
and say what can I dodifferently right at this very
moment?
Speaker 1 (25:51):
And often, when you hear the word should, it's
usually somebody else's voice inyour head, right.
Speaker 2 (25:56):
Exactly, exactly.
It's another, it's anotherstoryteller in your head.
It's in that moment of changewhen you can take that moment
and stop what you're about to do, stop the reaction that you're
about to have.
And I know, believe me, I'vebeen there a billion times and
it's hard sometimes, where youknow, especially because I was
(26:17):
so traumatized, triggers andPTSD was huge for me and I would
sometimes get triggered and bedown for hours in the darkness
because I just did not know howto respond.
But the way I got out of it wasI just started training myself
to remember that this is notanything more than a story, an
(26:39):
old story, a bad story.
So once you can calm down andcalm down your autonomic nervous
system because that's what getstriggered you can start
thinking of ways through.
In my book I actually offerseveral, several techniques to
deal with themes and motivationsand characters and how you can
(27:01):
just stop, take a moment andthink about a new way to step
forward.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Yeah, and I think our words are so powerful and we
forget that when we say thingsover and over again, it's like
cementing the behavior ratherthan saying.
Instead of always saying likeI'm always late, I'm always late
, no, I'm trying to be early andjust finding a new way to
reframe that dialogue that canactually help to rewire your
(27:31):
brain for success.
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Yes, yes, yes, and it takes focus and practice, but I
promise you, your brains wantto comply and your brain does.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
It's interesting looking at this from the place
of a story and how we canrewrite our story, because I
think, especially when we're inthis sort of mid section of life
, we've done all the thingswe're supposed to do.
You know, we've been a mompossibly not everybody, but
usually we've built a career,We've looked after our parents
and our you know relatives, andthen we come to this crossroads
(28:09):
where it's like we want toreinvent a little bit, and we
need to maybe.
Maybe we've've outgrown thatstory and maybe it's time to add
some new elements to the storyso that we can live a different
chapter of the story.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
Absolutely, there's always another chapter to be
written.
And I will say for peoplelistening I had so many, I had
so much trouble dating.
Dating to me was the worst jobinterview in the world, and so I
rarely had a boyfriend.
I rarely had that connection.
It wasn't until I was 55 yearsold that a gentleman I'd been
(28:46):
friends with for a couple yearswe were having dinner and all of
a sudden we looked at eachother and said hold on, there's
something more here.
And I said to him there can'tbe.
We haven't even gone on a date.
And he said and he's British,and we were in England at the
time.
I had moved to England for asummer.
And and he said well, what areyou doing tomorrow night?
I have a great pub in Lesliethat I'll take you to.
(29:08):
We've been together ever since.
It's just been togetherreframing this story.
Yes, cause I had decided that Iwasn't going to listen to what
people I mean at 55, I was.
I was kind of like well, I, I,I'm not going to have kids at
this point, I'm not going to dothe usual thing that women do in
(29:30):
a in a relationship.
So I'm just gonna.
I'm just gonna say I'm open toa relationship.
What do you got?
And this, it was just so weirdhow it turned out.
It was very funny.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
Well, also because you were open to maybe looking
at a different plot line.
How's that?
Speaker 2 (29:48):
Exactly.
I was finally able to say I'mgoing to have my own story
around the relationship.
I don't have to have what'sexpected of me.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
No, I love that so much and I think that's a really
powerful way of looking at ourlife and seeing a different
perspective.
I think that's amazing.
So tell us a little bit aboutyour book and tell us what
readers can expect, and give usa just a little synopsis as to
(30:18):
what they can expect to get fromthat.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
Well, my book is unusual.
Again, my expectations for thebook.
It's three parts.
Each chapter is a segment fromhow to how do you look at your
life as a story?
So I start off each chapterwith a story from my life that
applies to the element, and thenI talk about the element of the
(30:44):
story and then I give you a howto how to work it through in
your life.
I did that because I did notwant to have to ask people to
buy a workbook on top ofeverything else.
This, to me, was a prettystraightforward way to present
the information and thenencourage people to follow
through.
The one thing I didn't do and Iwish I would have is I
(31:04):
encourage people to get ajournal.
But I heard from one reader whosaid she's an artist, so
instead of journaling she wouldpaint or draw what she was
feeling and expressing, and Ithought how clever there's
somebody writing her story.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
She's doing it her way on her term.
Absolutely so.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
I would like to encourage you to say what works
for you in how you want todocument what you're doing.
Do you do better with recording?
Record your story, write itdown, paint a picture, dance it,
do it with movement, whateverit is to understand what your
story is.
And once you understand thestory, I actually give you
(31:48):
techniques for how to change it.
But my biggest technique isawareness and making a new
decision at that moment in time.
That's the most powerful thing.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
I love that and it's really in line.
I have a book that's calledHappy is Not an Accident and
it's actually a journal.
It's a guided journal and itreally is kind of exactly along
that same line, because I feellike people can't move into a
new way of being until theyunderstand why they're being
where they are.
And to get that awareness ishuge and to be able to put it in
(32:19):
words or, like you say, in apainting or whatever way, helps
you to find that awareness isthe first step to being able to
say I want something else.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
Yes, yes, and also, when you write it down, or paint
it, or dance or talk about it,it takes it out of the body, it
takes that energy out of yourbody so you can see it, yeah,
and recognize it Exactly, andnot be afraid of it, Exactly
because it is just a piece ofthe puzzle.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
It's not the whole piece, Exactly.
That's really cool.
Well, tell everybody.
I'm going to put all of theinformation on how to reach you
into the show notes and how toget your book.
But maybe just give thelisteners, before we wrap up, a
little bit more about how elsethey could work with you.
If there's some other coursesand I know you do some speaking
(33:08):
events and you've got all kindsof things so maybe give us a
little highlight of that andthen we'll make sure to include
that in the show notes as well.
Speaker 2 (33:14):
Perfect, thank you.
My website kerrykcwestcomC-A-R-R-I-E-K-C-W-E-S-Tcom has a
list of events and my new.
I have two books coming outBusiness Rewritten for the
business people in the audience,and my favorite is Money
(33:35):
Rewritten.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Amazing.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
I have a course starting next week on rewriting
your relationship with've takenthis concept.
That is really an imaginaryconstruct and it has so much
control and power on our lives.
(33:57):
I take apart our relationshipwith money and help people
rewrite that, and that courseagain starts next week and I'm
going to be offering that a fewtimes and that's all on the
website kerrycaseywestcom.
I also do individual sessions.
They're all listed on thewebsite as well.
The stories I'm hearing frompeople are so inspiring to me,
(34:19):
so anytime you can share yourstory, I encourage you to do
that.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Oh, that's really powerful.
Well, I look forward to seeingthe other two books come out,
and I'm certain that it will beof immense value to our
listeners, and I'm so gratefulthat you could put a little time
aside for us to have aconversation today.
I think this was reallyvaluable and I hope we can do it
again.
Speaker 2 (34:40):
I'd love that.
It's a pleasure, Marnie, Reallytruly a pleasure.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
I hope you enjoyed today's episode.
I hope it inspired you ormotivated you in some way to
keep going and to create yourvery best life.
Want to know what to do next?
Share this episode with someonethat you love who maybe just
needs a little more delicious intheir life.
Join my free Facebook communityover at Mindset Mastery for
(35:05):
Midlife Women, where like-mindedwomen come together to support
and inspire each other and wherewe get to hang out together and
I offer cool bonuses, videosand some extra content.
And lastly, don't forget tosubscribe so that when new
episodes drop, they'll be queuedup and ready for you.
In case no one has told youtoday, there's not one person on
(35:28):
this planet that is exactlylike you, and the world is a
better place because you're here.
So thank you for being here.
I'll be back next week and Ihope you'll join me right here
on Life is Delicious.
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