Finding Grace when Normal is Gone

Since my mother passed, not a week has gone by that I haven't wished things could just “go back to normal.” In fact, I have come to appreciate “normal” days more than ever before, though what's normal now is far different than it was a year or two ago. I long to pick up the phone and call her throughout my day. I miss letting my girls FaceTime her whenever they want. Talking to her had a way of making everything right again, for all of us.

Sometimes “normal” just vanishes without warning.

My mother didn’t ask to get sick. She didn’t plan to leave my girls without a grandmother at such a young age. But there we were.

And I was left standing in the gap between what was and what is, with the aching question—what do I do now?

The most natural response is anger and bitterness. How could God do this to me? Why would He hurt me so? I don’t deserve this. But anger and bitterness are like weeds. If I don't pluck them out by the roots, they'll quickly grow into vines that will wrap my heart in bondage.

Maybe it’s not the death of a loved one that you face. Maybe it’s the death of a dream. A difficulty you never anticipated. Something that just turned normal upside down— and here you stand, holding a broken heart, full of hurt and anger and questions—unsure what to do next.

We don’t have to pretend it doesn’t hurt, but we do need to decide what to do with these emotions that threaten to eat us alive. We need to seek the grace of God.

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. —2 Corinthians 12:9

But what is grace, really?

I’ve been trying to study this concept of grace a little more intentionally this summer, because I’ve needed it more. I trust when I read God’s “grace is sufficient,” but I don’t want to settle for a vague sense of the word; I have sought for a deeper understanding.

And I’ve learned that God’s amazing grace isn’t just a cute wall hanging from Hobby Lobby.

Grace is a gift. (Romans 5:15) It teaches us. (Titus 2:11-12) It gives strength. (2 Timothy 2:1) It gives everlasting consolation and hope. (2 Thessalonians 2:16).

Grace isn’t a mood or an aesthetic. It’s a gift to the humble. It's something that we can grow in (2 Peter 3:18), and something that we can boldly ask for more of. (James 4:6)

When your normal is lost, others pay attention. They say things like “I couldn’t do it,” or “I could never be so strong.” And you know what?—they’re right. Just as our trials are different, so is the measure of grace we are given.

But unto every one of us is given grace according to the measure of the gift of Christ.— Ephesians 4:7

And when the difficulty comes, yes, you do panic somewhat. You do feel threatened by an overwhelming flood, dwelling on an uncertain future.

But may I assure you that His grace will be there?

The truth I have learned is that God gives the grace in the time of need. He gives the way to escape with the temptation so that you can bear it. Grace isn’t something that you can stockpile. You don’t make withdrawals from a savings account of grace that you have stored up—it’s something that’s given in real time. It is sufficient— not “will be” or “used to be” but it is sufficient — right in the moment.

Some days all you can do is say Lord, I can’t do this— give me grace! And He promised to give it. In fact he tells us to come boldly unto the throne to find grace. (Hebrews 4:16) Do we come boldly? Do we pray in confidence, knowing the God who cannot lie? Do we claim that promise that His grace is sufficient?

Sufficient— think on that word for a moment. Webster’s defines it as “enough to meet the needs of a situation.” Christ says “my grace is sufficient.” He knows the need. Remember “my God shall supply all your need”? You won’t be turned away for non-sufficient funds— He can and shall supply as much grace as you need. As the hymn says, “He giveth and giveth and giveth again!”

Trials will come. We will face difficulties. We will be wronged, or suffer hurts. Our hearts will be broken by things out of our control. Things we can’t undo.

When others observe me going through a trial, do I want them to see how strong I am? Or how strong my God is? Do I want them to see my nerves of steel? Or the power of God through me?

We can know the sufficiency of grace, helping us, meeting our need in real-time. We can see Christ’s strength made perfect