Unintended Consequences

Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices. —2 Corinthians 2:11

There can be no doubt that we have an Enemy who seeks to discourage and destroy us. The Bible tells us not to be ignorant of his devices, and, speaking from experience, I think one of his most cunning devices is the small, unintended thing. Those subtle jabs that were never intended, but can still cut deep.

This unintentional harm shows up in common law as a concept known as the “eggshell plaintiff” rule. It originated with the idea that if a victim had a skull as thin as an eggshell, and the defendant caused that fragile skull to break, the victim would still be entitled to full damages. In other words, you’re responsible for the harm your actions cause—even if the injury seems disproportionate.

I think about that concept sometimes when I fear I am walking around, not with an eggshell skull, but an eggshell heart. There are days I feel just a little weaker than others and wish I could put a warning label on my forehead that said “fragile—handle with care.”

Simple, innocent actions can hurt deeply sometimes, can’t they?

A comment made in passing. Not being included on the invite, the group chat, the inside joke. A silence that’s just too loud to ignore.

Not one of those things is inherently cruel by itself. In fact, some things are honest mistakes. You and I make them all the time. We stick our foot in our mouth. We get so busy that we forget to respond. We forget to include people, not because we don’t want them—we just...forgot.

But sometimes those things land on an eggshell heart. To a woman already weary or quietly wondering if anybody sees or cares, innocent comments can become darts in the hand of the Enemy.

Suddenly that unanswered text becomes “she doesn’t like you.”

Not being included on the group chat whispers “they’re talking about you.”

That comment made in passing morphs into “they didn’t care to hurt you because you’re invisible to them.”

When Scripture tells me not to be ignorant of Satan’s devices, the preceding verse tells me to forgive others.

To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ; —2 Corinthians 2:10

We don’t have to be unbreakable, but we do need to be anchored in truth. When I assume the worst from other’s actions, I’m operating from a position that I am unloved, unwanted, or unworthy. That isn’t the truth of who God tells you you are. The Bible says you are loved with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3) You are accepted in the beloved. (Ephesians 1:6)

How much freer and happier would we feel if we could stay rooted and grounded in Christ’s love for us! If we could walk in that light and forgive others freely—even offenses that were never intended, and may never even be realized.

I want to be careful with others. No doubt all of us, at times, have walked around with eggshell hearts. I want to treat others with compassion, “be pitiful, be courteous,” as 1 Peter 3:8 instructs.

But I also don’t want Satan to get an advantage because of my own fragile heart. We don’t have to read between the lines of every conversation. We don’t have to take offense where none was intended.

When you feel weak and ready to crack, rely on God’s strength to help you see the good in others and to forgive them. With God’s help we can “cast down imaginations” and ignore the evil assumptions that the Devil would like us to make. After all, God knows what was in their heart. He knows the truth. And that’s good enough for me to rest on.

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