#10 Alberto Daruma Dojo

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I want to thank you for comingon the podcast, Alberto.

(00:02):
Today I have a special guest,someone I met during one of
those times when we weretraveling to different gyms.
I met Alberto through myprofessor Josh A group of us had
gone over to the UFC gym inSunnyvale one night to get some
grappling rounds in.
And as usual I also brought mycamera to take some photos.

(00:23):
Since then, Alberto and I havestayed connected and I've had
the privilege of watching hisjiu jitsu journey unfold Today
we'll get to hear more about hisstory, his experiences, and the
impact Jiu Jitsu has had on hislife.
Tell us about Where you wereborn?
Your upbringing?
Let's start there.
Okay.
I think it's interesting livingin the Bay Area and the Silicon

(00:44):
Valley because there aren't toomany, I feel like there aren't
as many people that were bornand raised here.
You get a lot of people thatwere, born in other places,
other countries, other parts ofthe United States.
And then they were, located herelater in their life for
University or for job.
But I was, born and raised inAntioch, California.

(01:07):
And, I grew up in Oakley until Iwas five.
years old.
Then we moved to Antioch and Istayed there.
High school there.
And my family eventually movedto Brentwood, which is like the
next town over.
I'm a local.
Bay Area, born and raised Nice.

(01:27):
What'd you do as a kid growingup?
So at our first house, I wasthinking about this earlier one
of the first memories I had waslike riding bikes in the front
yard, in the backyard.
And then my father playingbasketball, in the front yard,
you have one of the hoops on topof the garage, So family members
would come over, they'd playbasketball.

(01:48):
I guess that was probably likeone of my first introductions to
sports.
At a young age was watching himplay.
They would play horse.
Or they would play two on two orsomething and I would ride my
bike and watch them shoot hoops.
They have their, music blastingMadonna and stuff, real 80s.
Yeah.
I remember those days.
Yeah.
When I was a kid, I grew upplaying baseball.
I started playing baseball atfive and that was a huge part of

(02:10):
my life was playing baseball.
I played baseball from fiveyears old all the way to
college.
What positions did you play?
When I first started I was likea shortstop.
That's when I was like from fiveto 10.
I think when you're a kid inlike peanut league or T-ball,
the person who is usually thebest player plays shortstop.

(02:31):
And then eventually I was on ateam when I was 10 or maybe
eight, and then they like, Hey,we need a catcher.
And I was like, all right, I'lltry.
And then since then I was acatcher.
So I was catcher from 10 all theway until 17 or 18 when I
stopped playing.
I was terrible at all otherpositions besides catcher.
Yeah, that was horrible.
especially once I startedplaying catcher long enough, I

(02:51):
would just either get reallybored or every once in a while,
like in a game, I'd ask mycoach, Hey man, can I play like
third base or second base orsomething different?
And then I'd always make anerror or I'd play outfield and
the ball would go over my head.
I'd be a pitcher for a game andthey hit a home run on me.
So I was only good at catcher.
That's a real importantposition.

(03:13):
Yeah, I enjoyed it.
It was really interactive andyou're always in the game and,
kept my mind busy, right?
Absolutely Can you give me alittle bit of background on your
parents?
Yeah.
So my parents, Jesse and MelJuarez.
They raised me.
They've been, together all theirlives.

(03:34):
They were like, my mom was bornand raised in Portugal.
She moved here, I believe, whenshe was around 10.
Give or take a year or two.
And my dad, he was born in Utah.
But his, dad was fromGuanajuato.
He ended up moving out to Oakleyand then my mom moved to Oakley

(03:55):
from Portugal and they were likein middle school together.
I think that's where they metand they started dating in
middle school and they weretogether the whole time So they
were like high schoolsweethearts that, grew up
together and they're stilltogether to this day.
Yeah.
So what did your dad do for aliving?
He was a mechanic.
Yeah, he works on cars.
He's really, really good.

(04:16):
Like, with his hands.
And he's extremely skilled.
He was a mechanic up until aboutwhen I was maybe like 8 or 10.
And at his job they had a, hewas working in Concord.
I remember going to visit his,dealership on a regular basis.
We'd go and just like pop in andsay hello.
And, I remember they got newownership, and they did a lot of

(04:38):
layoffs, so they laid him off.
And I think at that point my dadreally got into the union.
And, Organizing like workersorganizing to get fair benefits
and fair treatment.
And then he ended up joining amachinist union who mainly
represents mechanics in thearea.
I think he felt like that wasunfair.

(04:58):
How, a new owner came in andthey could just get rid of all
the people they wanted and bringnew people in.
And then he still does that tothis day.
He works for a machinist unionfor the last, if I had to guess
30, Years, at least.
Oh, that's great.
Yeah, that's awesome.
And how about your mom?
My mom, when I was born, shestayed at home.

(05:19):
She took care of me.
Before that, I think she hadlike various jobs, working in
hotels, working in restaurants.
I think she worked at a bank.
Various jobs.
But, ever since I was born andas she was raising me, she never
had a job.
She just took care of us.
How many siblings did you havein the household So in that
household, I was the oldest.

(05:40):
When I was five, my brother wasborn.
His name is Jesse Michael.
Fun fact is that, I played apart in helping name him.
My parents asked me like, Oh,what do you want to name your
brother?
And I said, Michael, cause I wasa huge Michael Jackson fan.
And they're like, okay.
And then my dad's name is Jesse.
So they were going to name himMichael Jesse, like hyphenated.

(06:03):
But she said that like when shewas supposed to name the baby,
she was, like not there fromdifferent like medications she
was taking after, after thepregnancy.
And so she named him JesseMichael.
So it was like backwards whenthey had to sign the papers.
And then my sister, Jessica,she's seven or eight years
younger than I am.
Yeah.
So we grew up together.
There was kind of an age gap,between me and my brother and my

(06:25):
sister, but when I was growingup and playing in like the front
yard with my friends, my littlebrother would join us sometimes
to play like football orbasketball.
Me and him are really closetoday.
My sister are pretty close, butgrowing up, I was doing my thing
for the most part.
So how did growing up in a bigfamily with siblings and cousins
impact your personality?

(06:46):
So like I, I grew up with mybrother and my sister, right?
They are like biologically mycousins because my mom and my
dad who raised me, they arebiologically my aunt and uncle.
But I didn't know this growingup.

(07:06):
I didn't know this until I wasabout like, I think I was like
12 when I found out.
And so I had multiple cousinsthat I would spend time with.
I didn't know at the time, butthey were my, Half brothers and
sisters.
So I had five half brothers andsisters that I called my

(07:27):
cousins.
Because they were my cousins theway that everything was
structured.
And we would go spend time withthem all the time.
I didn't really know any betteras far as like how it shaped me
because it just was the way itwas.
I think I had a good childhoodin the most, I was loved.
I had a family.
I had a mom and a dad, thatraised me.

(07:48):
I'm very grateful.
I think it's complicated,especially as a kid.
But I'm also very grateful thatI was adopted by my aunt and
uncle.
My biological mom, besides me,she had five other kids.
I have an older sister.
and that was with a different,father.
So she had, multiple babydaddies.

(08:09):
And then I had an older brother,another different father.
And then I was the third in lineand then that was another
father.
I actually, when I was growingup, I was like really close to
my older brother.
That was two years older thanme.
We're actually all two yearsapart.
My oldest sister, she's fouryears older than me.
My older brother is two yearsolder.
And then I have.
Twin brother and sister that aretwo years younger, and another

(08:32):
sister who's four years younger.
So we have two years back toback, so she was busy.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah, so I know that, she raisedthem as a single mom for the
most part.
When the three younger ones wereborn, it was the same father who
she was with for a long time,never got married.
I think my opinion is the first,my, my oldest sister, her

(08:56):
father, and I think she waseither married with him or they,
yeah, she was married to herfather, but he committed
suicide.
And I think after that.
Maybe the commitment thing was,difficult for her.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah, so she never reallycommitted afterwards as far as
like marriage.
She never got married again.
And then the last father of thethree youngest brother and

(09:18):
sisters, they stayed togetherfor a long time, I think it was,
when I was adopted, I think shejust had a hard time.
In fact, like I remember storiesthat I learned later, like she
was going to have an abortion,but when they came in, I guess
my, my mom that raised me, shewent with her to get the
abortion.
And I don't know if it's true ornot, but like they, heard that

(09:39):
like before you're given anabortion, you listen to the
heartbeat and that's one of the,last signs like, Hey, this is a
baby living in you.
Do you want to make thisdecision?
And then her.
And my mom that raised me werelike, no, we're not gonna do
this.
I'll raise her.
I'll raise him.
And that's what the sister said.

(09:59):
yes'Cause she was trying to havekids for a long time with my
dad.
But they couldn't have a kid.
For the, for whatever reasonthey, they couldn't have one.
And they thought they wouldnever have one.
So they, I was pretty muchadopted at birth.
Wow.
You're a blessing.
Yeah.
To her Yeah.
I was for, to both of them.
That's what she tells me all thetime.
Like you're my blessing.
Without you, I would have beenin different places.

(10:22):
So that's awesome.
That's beautiful.
When you first realized that,you were adopted, how old were
you I think I was 12.
And how did that impact you?
So my parents, they thought thatthey were doing the right thing
by hiding it from me because,they thought that I think it was

(10:45):
their insecurities was, Hey,he's not going to love us as
much if he finds out that wewere not his real parents or he
might want to go with his realmom or, You know, that was kind
of my mom's thing.
I think she was really worriedabout like me not loving her as
much or like my father was, Oh,he's not going to be able to

(11:08):
understand like, Oh, I can tellhim, but he won't get it.
I look back at that and I thinkit's a bunch of BS because I
think like kids understand a lotmore, and when something is held
back so long that it's almost asecret or they're living like
they're lying to you, right?
You're living a lie.
And so things are not genuine,but at the time as a kid, I

(11:32):
didn't think like that becausein fact, like the way, like my
mom projected it towards me.
In fact, I asked, am I adoptedone day?
Because she was giving me signs.
Like she would ask questions.
She was kind of like feeling itout, you know, like, Oh, I think
a couple of times she evenasked, if I wasn't your real
mom, would you still love me asmuch?
And then, so I asked her oneday, or am I adopted?

(11:54):
And she's yes, we're going totalk about it when we get home
with your dad.
I was like, okay.
And I find out that my TT, who'smy aunt, who's my biological
mother, her name is Adelaide,but her, she goes by Lisa, but I
call her TT, which is like aunt.
And she's like, Oh, that's yourreal mother.

(12:17):
And we're just worried that Youweren't going to love us as
much.
And I'm like, no, of course Ilove you.
Like you guys raised me.
I love you.
Maybe more like knowing that youtook me in and, I see their
family.
and I think they had slightlyharder time, raising all the
kids because there's so many ofthem.
And she was pretty much a singlemother.
And then we had a little morestructure here.
So I was like, okay, I wonder.

(12:37):
I look back like, Oh, I wonderwhat my life would have been
like if I was there, like whatI've had the same opportunities,
what I've been able to playbaseball for all those years
with my dad, like supporting mewith different trips and
equipment and you know, I just,I had a good life and so one of
the first things I did was Icalled my older brother
Salvador, the one that I grew upwith thinking he was my cousin.
I called him like, Hey, did youknow we're, brothers?

(12:58):
I didn't know that.
And he's like, yeah, I justfound out too.
So they just found out also.
Yeah, I don't know how longbefore but like for example,
that's like an example though,because I think my eldest
sister, she knew for a while.
But like they just kept it fromme.
So it's kind of like I neverthought of that at the time
though.
Oh, yeah, you knew.
Oh cool.
You know.
So, at age, uh, 12 you got tomeet your biological father for

(13:20):
the first time.
How did that go?
My biological father, it wassoon after I found out that I
was adopted and, we were at aMexican restaurant that we would
go to often.
I was with my mom and mygrandma, my mom that raised me.
And they started speaking inPortuguese, which like I grew up

(13:43):
hearing Portuguese and hearingSpanish from both sides of my
family, but I never spoke it.
But I knew like when they'respeaking Portuguese, there's a
good chance.
They don't want me tounderstand.
So I'm like, what are youtalking about?
And then they're like, Hey,that's your, biological dad's
over there.
Do you want to meet him?
I'm like, sure.
But he didn't speak muchEnglish.
He only spoke Spanish and Ididn't really understand much

(14:04):
Spanish at the time.
So they brought him over and I'mlike, Hey, and he's Hey, and it
was like, slightly awkward, but.
He was trying to be like reallypolite and, yeah, it was
strange.
It was awkward.
Yeah.
I didn't really, I was prettyneutral about it.
It wasn't like I didn't have anyfeelings of I want to get to
know you where I didn't reallyhave any feelings of anger

(14:26):
towards him.
Correct.
Yeah.
I wasn't, I was like, Oh hi,nice to meet you.
And then since that day, I thinkI met him two more times and
there was, I was always atrestaurants.
I saw my McDonald's.
We're in the thing we're goingto drive through and he was a
car in front of us and then wepulled over and then it was the
same thing.
And I think at the second twotimes we met, I saw him as I got

(14:47):
older, they're all two or threeyears apart because I think he
was moving from what I know.
Like he was living in Oakley orAntioch in that area and then
sometimes he would I moved backto Mexico because he's from born
and raised in Mexico.
I don't know what part and so hewould be in town and sometimes
not in town and we just happenedto catch him like Oakley's a
small town and it was always thesame thing.

(15:07):
I think the last two times I sawhim, like he was speaking
English better or I was speakingSpanish better because I was
studying in high school.
I think the last time I saw him,I was getting close, like maybe
even 18 or something wasprobably the last time I saw
him.
I only met him three times.
It was always like randomly.
And the third time I saw him, Ithink because I was getting
older, like I was either like onthe cusp of being an adult or
17, 18 and I haven't had someinterest because I found out

(15:30):
that like he was a guitarist, ina band so that he was a
musician, and I played guitarand so I thought, okay, maybe I
got that from him.
Like I got my musical.
Absolutely.
You did.
Yeah.
And so I was like, when I gotolder, I was like, Oh, I had
some interest of actually maybewe could play guitar and You
know each other.
But it never took it anywhere.
He gave me his number.
He gave me his card.

(15:50):
He worked for like a landscapingcompany, or he owned his own
landscaping company.
And he's Hey, if you ever I livein Oakley.
Here's my, that card, give me acall anytime.
And that was that the last timeI met him, okay, never followed
up.
Yeah.
Well, you had a great fatherthat raised you.
Yeah.
There wasn't really a need foryour biological father.
Yeah.
I didn't need a father figure, Ithink, there's always like a

(16:12):
curiosity, Oh, like I wonderwhat kind of a guy he is or, but
I didn't really care too much,Cause honestly, like I, I
recently had a daughter andthere was, I think it was
father's day, like I was withher and I was like, I would
never leave you.
I can't believe anybody wouldjust would leave their child.
Yeah.

(16:32):
At birth, or in his case, he'swas a deadbeat dad.
He just left me.
You know what I mean?
So I can't even imagine that.
And so it was a moment that Ihad with my daughter.
I was like, I'm never going todo that to you, or I'm always
going to be here as long as I'malive.
Exactly.
Yeah.
You're not going to follow inhis footsteps.
No.
Let's talk a little bit about,your mom, Your mother struggled

(16:54):
with addiction and eventuallygot clean.
How did witnessing that affectyour childhood?
I think it was tough.
I didn't know any better.
My mom raised me the best shecould, given the circumstances.
She was always there for me.

(17:15):
I never was, like, I got food, Ihad a place, I had a nice house,
I had all the things I needed, Iwas clothed.
My father provided really well.
My mom gave me love the best shecould.
It was tough.
I think I learned a lot as faras being secretive.
I think that's one of the thingsI learned growing up, hiding

(17:37):
true feelings or lying or,because I would witness her,
using drugs or getting drugs.
And, it was always like, oh,let's keep this a secret from
your dad.
You can't tell your dad.
I forgot what they call that,like when one parent uses you
against the other parent.
And so I was like her spy andlike, okay.
And I was her lookout.

(17:59):
Yeah.
I was on her side because sheraised me I was with her all
day.
Right.
And then as a child, like youwant to take care of your mom,
right?
So you're like, okay, sure.
If he asks, say this, she wouldhave a whole game plan.
So I think that was one of thethings that I learned and which
I carried with me as like acharacter defect as I got older
as well was like hiding truefeelings, lying, being

(18:20):
secretive, like not showing, Iguess being manipulative Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
It happens.
You know, you learn by theexamples that you have set in
front of you.
Let's talk about your passionfor sports.
Baseball was a huge part of yourlife growing up.
What made you fall in love withit?
So baseball was, I think Istarted when I was five.

(18:44):
and I think it was one of myways of being noticed.
And I think that kind of goesback into like my childhood
living with a mother in anaddiction was, I kind of went
unnoticed, you know, cause shewas busy with doing her thing.
And, as much as she gave me loveand she gave me what I needed.

(19:07):
I think I was, missing like heremotionally and like her
attention and her, and becauseshe was elsewhere.
There's many times where Ineeded her, but she wasn't
there.
She was not emotionallyavailable.
So I was, not necessarilyalthough I was abandoned by my
biological mom, my biologicaldad.
So like, there's likeabandonment things going on

(19:27):
there as well.
But I think I was neglected byher, mentally and emotionally,
right?
So when I got into baseball,this is me like looking back as
an adult now.
Not in the time.
But I think what drew me to itwas like, Oh wow, like I'm good.
I'm athletic.
And this is like a stage where Ican shine.

(19:48):
Like I learned quick.
My dad, he took me, he like wasso into it with me.
He would take me to the baseballpractice and he would even hire
private coaches to help me getlike the techniques correct.
And from the second year Iplayed, like I became good
pretty fast, compared to theother kids.
And I was like, Oh, like now Ican, I have an avenue to be

(20:10):
noticed.
I kind of leaned into that roleof wanting to be noticed and
getting attention for doingsomething good, you know, like
some kids.
Kids want attention, especiallyif they're not getting it at
home in some way or another.
And so that was my way ofgetting attention was playing
baseball, like being good at it,getting praise.

(20:31):
And eventually it also went intoschool too, because I became
really good at like school,getting good grades and being a
good student.
So that was, I think that's whatdrew me into it.
And then.
As I got good, I played, all thedifferent, travel ball teams,
all star teams, and it gotpretty serious, once I was,
like, 12 years old.

(20:51):
That's like a pivotal part, Ithink, in my, adolescence, from,
like, I think a lot happenedwhen I was 12.
I think I lost my virginity whenI was 12.
Wow, That was early.
Yeah, so I think 12 years oldfor some reason was like a huge,
maybe that was around the sametime I found out that I was
adopted and all this stuff.
So by the time I was 12, Istarted playing baseball like
really seriously.
Travel teams and year round.

(21:13):
It was like winter ball, summerleague.
That's where all my friends wereat.
My friends were baseball playersand it was just, my identity at
a young age.
And I followed baseball.
I watched, the MLB and any, likemost kids, like I had a dream of
playing professionally andeventually like in high school,

(21:34):
like when I was in high schoolwith baseball, I played with the
varsity team like as a freshman.
That's good.
That's really good.
They had this pitcher.
I played freshman ball, but thenafter freshman ball, like during
the winter leagues and stuff,they brought me to the varsity
team to play certain tournamentsand stuff because they had this
pitcher who was throwing like 90plus miles an hour.
Man.
He got drafted.
And I think when I was asophomore, he was a senior.

(21:56):
And.
They had no one to catch him, sothey brought me up and I was
able to catch him and it waslike surreal like this, how fast
the ball is.
I've caught a few pitchers thatthrew 90 plus and that is cool.
That is fast.
That's quick.
The ball just hisses.
It's nuts.
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
How controlled was that pitcher?
Would you always controlled?
Okay, good.
Yes, that makes it easier.

(22:17):
Yeah, totally.
Yeah, he would hit the targetlike he would always be within a
few inches.
So he was really good.
Yeah.
And I caught him as a freshmanand sophomore.
And so that was like a, reallyhelped me focus and I became,
even better just being withpeople like that, like around me
that are better than me, orbeing with the older crowd, so
like I was able to hang withthem and, yeah.

(22:38):
And then high school I thoughtoh, I was always told, get a
scholarship or get good grades,go to a good college, get a good
job, and you know, that's thelife that people have planned
for you.
Huh.
And who would tell you that?
My father, mostly.
Okay, good.
I think my father, and ofcourse, I think society as a
whole.
He like blatantly told me like,Hey, let's keep doing the

(22:58):
baseball thing.
You're good at that.
Some colleges were watching me.
Let's, let's keep doing thegrades.
You're getting straight A's.
And let's, get a collegescholarship.
Which I think is unfair becauseI look like they put pressure on
you.
Yeah, they do.
And then most kids don't everget that scholarship, right?
Right.
It's very competitive.
So did you get a scholarshipwhen you reached college?

(23:20):
No.
No.
Okay.
No.
So I had, I think I had oneschool that was willing to pay
for a portion.
So I think I did get one.
Now that I can't remember theexact terms, but it wasn't a
full ride.
It was to Pomona State Okay.
And, or University of Pomona,one of those.
And it was like a D3 baseballteam and they were recruiting me

(23:41):
baseball.
But, I wasn't interested in thatschool for whatever reason.
I was interested in UC SanDiego.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, that was like the school Ireally wanted to go to.
I went down there.
The baseball team was looking atme.
They were D2.
The university is really good.
I got into the university, butD2 and D3 schools don't give
athletic scholarships.
So I didn't get any athleticscholarships from those schools,

(24:03):
What led you to walk away frombaseball and ultimately choose a
different path?
I think, eventually when youplay, when you do something for
so long at a serious level itbecomes, you develop burnout.
You do.
And, you know, it was veryserious for a long time.
Like people, coaches, my fatherespecially, like he, we would do

(24:26):
I played baseball, play games,do practices, but then we'd
practice at home and he'd belike, he's kind of a person
that.
You have to do it this way.
If you don't do it this way,you're wrong, right?
And so like I would, forexample, I would be hitting the
baseball, the balls off the tee.
And then after one swing, he'sno, you got to do it like this,
right?
Like this.
And it's just come on, do let mejust swing the bat.

(24:47):
And then if I express opinion,he'd get upset.
He had get angry.
And there was times where wejust, it's oftentimes like it
was, we just couldn't see eye toeye.
That became like, he's likeputting a lot of pressure and
being like real serious.
I stuck it out because I lovebaseball.
I had fun and, but like I wantedto go to UC San Diego and that
didn't work out.
My dad for years gave me likethis, Hey, good school, good

(25:10):
grades, good college.
And then I got in and I waslike, let's go.
Then at the time he's Oh, Icouldn't, I can't afford it.
So go to a junior collegeinstead.
And so I was like really letdown because I had this
expectations for like last fouryears all through high school.
And I achieved it.
Exactly.
I got the straight A's.
I played baseball.
I got to a school that I wantedto go.

(25:30):
I was looking forward to it.
And then it was like, I evenwent down for, like
registration, I signed up forclasses, I went for the
orientation, I met the coachesand the baseball team.
And then, even then, he waslike, no, just go to the junior
college.
And in my mind, I told him, andI was like really upset.

(25:51):
I said, like, what was all this,you know, you led me down this
path for the last four plusyears, and now all of a sudden.
You take it in a way and he'syou can go to junior college and
then you can get a scholarshiptwo years later.
So I don't know.
I think he just had theseexpectations of what, college
scholarships are.
And then he learned later, Ohno, like you can just, I could

(26:14):
save a lot of money if you go toa junior college.
So I went to the junior collegeand I was, I had this resentment
for a long time.
Did you play at junior college?
I did.
Okay.
Yeah, I played baseball thereand I started on the team and,
if I wanted to, I could have,played junior college, got into
a different university, maybe,who knows, what university I

(26:37):
could have got into and playedbaseball and, who knows, I know
with my skill, I could have atleast played minor leagues, at
least a hundred percent.
Because I had a lot of friendsthat, that I grew up playing
baseball with that made it tothe minor leagues.
And I'm like, Oh, well, likeit's, I don't think at that
point it's not that difficult toget to like a double a or
whatever, triple a, I'm not surewhich one's the highest double a
or triple a or single a, but.

(27:00):
You were at their level, youknew you were at their level.
I was, and I'm looking back atit like I could have done that.
I doubt I'm not sure, but Idon't know, dunno if I'll ever
make it like the pro But I couldhave played professionally.
But at this point I was, hadsuch a resentment towards, my
father and towards, baseball.

(27:21):
So I played on the team, I didreally well in junior college,
but then I had these coachesthat they were just horrible,
like they did a lot of things Ididn't agree with and I think at
that point I was so rebelliousthat I would just tell them
straight up like you're doingall these things wrong, not
necessarily the way they werecoaching, but the things they
were doing like behind thescenes, like for example, one of

(27:41):
the main things was, they had usdo all these like fundraisings
for, Like the travel teams oryeah, they were the money was
supposed to be for like tripsthat we did and we can and the
money was raised and I think itwas used In the right way.
I don't think they like misusedit, right but they promised

(28:01):
these things to thesebusinesses, which was like we're
gonna create a catalog that yourbusiness is going to be in so
when people come to our games,all the people that show up to
the game, they get this brochureThat has all the players in it,
and it has your business in it.
And so as marketing And this is,they paid for this And you give
this, but they never gave that,they never delivered on that

(28:24):
promise to these businesses.
And every time I asked them, itwas always an excuse, oh, the
printer is not working.
Or all this bs.
I'm like, I have, I sold.
I don't know, like threedifferent sponsorships to like
family, friends or whatever, orfriends.
And now I'm like the one thatlooks like I'm the BSer.
And so every day I would be madat them.

(28:44):
Come on, like you'd call themout.
I call them out.
And they, and then because ofthat, eventually they would
start treating me differently.
I was, I just came with a badattitude.
I came to practice every daywith a bad attitude about like,
halfway through the season, theyend up benching me because my
attitude, they brought anothercatcher in, and even though he
wasn't as good as me, he wasn't,rebellious like I was.

(29:06):
And then eventually, they kickedme off the team.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, towards the end of theseason, they kicked me off the
team, and I'm like, fine.
Let's go.
You made too much noise forthem.
Yeah, I was a cancer.
all this stuff built up.
Right.
For years, where, my father andthen these terrible coaches and
then baseball and hopes anddreams crushed and once I got

(29:27):
kicked off, like my dad ended uptalking to the coaches like I
was unaware, but he's Hey, theywant you back next year.
They want to get past this andthey're willing to reinvite you.
And I went to a meeting withthe, Head coach and like he
kicked me off the team, but hehad one of his assistant coaches
do it.
And I was like, you're such apussy, you couldn't even, you
can't even face me and say it,you know what I mean?

(29:47):
So he had this assistant coachdo it and then they had all my
catcher gear was a universitygear.
So they're like, we need allyour gear back.
So I just like, literally afterthe game, I took all my gear,
threw it on my coach's face andit's like, all right, I'm out.
Like I'm deuce.
But then when I came back forthe meeting, he's Hey, you're
always welcome back.
And we, I don't know, we talkedit out with me, him, my dad.
And I was like, you know what,I'm actually doing jiu jitsu

(30:10):
now.
This is way more fun.
I'm like, and I'm going to, I'mgoing to be an MMA fighter.
And so he's like, all right, ifthat's, if that's what you want
to do, I'm happy for you, butjust know that you can always
come back to the team.
I think my dad had to fight hardfor that because of the way it
ended.
But.
I think you stood up for a goodcause.
I think so too.

(30:30):
Yeah.
I think my attitude was poor andI did some things maybe the
wrong way.
Yeah.
But, I think I was like, one ofthe things I can't stand is like
injustice or things beingunfair.
Same here.
So I felt like I, yeah, I wasmaking noise, but.
Yeah.
All right.
Okay.
So now that you talked about jiujitsu, let's get into your jiu

(30:51):
jitsu journey.
Okay.
Okay.
How did you first get introducedto Brazilian Jiu Jitsu?
In high school I used to get in,I was into like weightlifting
and bodybuilding, and I did thatwhile I was playing baseball
through high school.
I would lift weights often, andI was going to a gym, this must
have been, I think this was.

(31:13):
Senior year of high school, thesummer between senior year of
high school and college.
What year was it?
2003.
Okay.
So this is where I gotintroduced to jiu jitsu in 2003.
And I was working out at thisgym, I don't know what it's
called now, if it's still inthere, it's called Extreme
Fitness in Antioch.
I was lifting weights with abuddy of mine and Nick Diaz.

(31:34):
We all, most of us know thefamous UFC fighter, right?
He was going around the weightroom and was like, targeting
certain people, probably likeyoung people.
I'm like, Hey, like we're doingJiu Jitsu back here.
Come on, let's go.
I remember a hundred percent.
I remember him talking like, Oh,you want a six pack abs?

(31:55):
Come on, do Jiu Jitsu.
Like it's a good workout.
Come try it out.
So there was a back room.
And it had like mats, andthey're like these old, dirty
gym mats, right?
I'm like, alright, I'll give ita try.
So me and my buddy went backthere, and then we did a class,
and, I remember, one of thefirst techniques I learned was
like a guard pass, a butterflyguard pass.
And I still remember it to thisday.
I still use it, right?

(32:17):
So yeah, he brought us backthere and I got into it.
He was like, he was, this isbefore he was UFC fighter.
He was a purple belt in JiuJitsu and he was with Caesar
Gracie, but like somehow theyhad a partnership with this gym
and he was there coaching.
And I don't remember how manynights a week it was, but it was
all no gi stuff.
And so he was fighting like kingof the cage.

(32:39):
And I remember the first day Itrained or like the second or
third day.
There was like a clip out of hislatest fight.
I think it was the first day andit was him kimuraing someone
like breaking their arm in thematch.
And yeah, I was like, whoa, thisis nuts.
What is this?
Okay.
And then I started learning andI started doing it.
And what drew me to it was thephysical exercise.
Cause I was like, I lovedworking out and I love being in

(33:00):
shape.
And I was like, wow, like thisis a crazy exercise.
Like all this testosterone andjust trying to beat each other
up.
And I thought I was like badass,like from the get go.
So you weren't nervous or youdidn't get, you didn't mind
being beat up or on the bottom.
You just like, yeah, No, I wasinto it.
I was just, I was more, itwasn't like self defense aspect
of it to me.
It was more of the sport.

(33:20):
I was just really into justbeing aggressive or I was into
the physicality of it and thoseother guys were all a bunch of
white belts And we're just likegrinding it out on each other
and I'm getting my ass beat.
We're beating each other's buttsand this is all like muscle
barely any technique and.
Eventually he was training somuch Nick that he stopped
teaching there cause he was,eventually getting into the UFC.

(33:43):
I don't know how many yearsafter it took, right?
Maybe three or four years afterhe got UFC.
But he was his path.
And then they would fill inother coaches.
Like Vinny Magalhaes.
Yeah, I forgot how, I don't knowhow to pronounce his last name.
But he was teaching there for awhile.
Like he's a very famous ADCCchampion.
He got flown down here and hewas teaching there for a few

(34:03):
days.
And then they brought this brownbelt.
I forgot his name, but he didhalf guard stuff.
And so he really introduced hishalf guard.
And I was like, Oh, this iscool.
He would call me, Alberto thegreat Yeah, he was a brown boy I
think from Marco Nascimento,Yeah, and so they just started

(34:24):
filling in new people, right andthen eventually Nick Diaz was
like hey, like I he was stilldrop in and once on teach
classes both multiple peopleteaching and he's like I'm
teaching we're training overthere at Cesar Gracie.
Like come on, like you should bean MMA fighter So he was like
getting me in my head like doMMA.
right.
because that's what he was intoand I was like, okay, let's do

(34:45):
this.
So I'd go there and I would dothe boxing and I would do jiu
jitsu and then him and a lot ofthe other guys, Jake Shields and
other people, they would be alldoing MMA.
And I'm like, oh cool.
Like I'm going to go do thatuntil one day I got my ass
kicked by a orange belt kid andI was like, my mind was blown

(35:05):
because it was always just us.
Big I was like pretty much thesame weight.
I am now.
I haven't really changed much inweight, but I was stronger And
it was just like strong guyslike just beating each other up
and then all of a sudden thislittle kid like 14 years old or
13 years old just wrapped me upand tapped me like four times in
a match and I was blown away.
So I saw something that I neversaw before in jiu jitsu opposed

(35:26):
just to MMA being physical andthe fighting thing.
And I was like, wow, I want tolearn this.
Yeah.
The kid had technique.
He had technique.
He kicked my butt.
Like I can't out muscle thisguy.
He was like 50 pounds less thanI am.
Wow.
So that, I think a lot of peoplehave that kind of story.
And ever since then, when thatmoment happened.
I was like, I just want to dojiu jitsu, forget MMA, like this

(35:49):
is amazing.
What, what's going on?
I didn't see this before.
And so I had a friend that hewas teaching me boxing and he's
Hey, if you want to do MMA, youstick with Nick Diaz.
But if you want to learn jiujitsu, you should go train with
Ricardo Barros here at RalphGracie Antioch.
It's like, okay.
So I went to, I had a girlfriendat the time and like we were in
downtown Antioch and let me gocheck this place out.

(36:11):
So I go in there.
And I remember it was during thekids class, like I, I just, I
won't forget.
And it was Kurt Osiander.
he was covering the class forRicardo.
For some reason, I don't knowwhy.
And then I just show up andthere was a kids class going on
and he's playing with the kidsand they're all like a bunch of
kids like running around beingnuts.
And Kurt's yeah, oh, I'm herecovering for Ricardo, so you
gotta come back tomorrow night,try a class.

(36:31):
And I'm like, alright.
And then I had a friend thatactually was training there.
And then we went together.
And I just was like, Once again,I was like so into it for
because of the physical activityportion of it like we would do
an hour of what they would calla warm up.
45 minutes minimum to an hourand it was just like physical
conditioning.
You know running around,calisthenics, partner drills we

(36:54):
would firemen carry each otheraround the mat and do squats
with each other we do pummelingdrills and bear walks and crab
walks and, you name it.
Like we did crazy stuff for 45minutes, an hour.
I remember he would play a CD oflike heavy metal and then, yeah,
I get us going.
And then I think the CD was like45 minutes to an hour and

(37:16):
sometimes it would play thewhole album and he started over
again.
Nice.
Yeah.
and then after that we would do30 minutes of technique, like
static drilling.
Oh, here's a, it was veryfundamental stuff.
Here's an arm bar from theguard, or here's a guard pass.
We do that for like maybe 30minutes and then we roll for an
hour.
So we were really, theirphilosophy at that time was

(37:38):
like, no, one's going to be abetter shape than us.
Like we're going to be in thebest shape.
And when you're in a good shape,you have that going for you.
If you have a weak tool, itdoesn't matter like how sharp
your technique is.
If you get gassed out.
You're gonna get your asskicked.
You are.
Yeah, so true.
And so I was like I was into itand then I stuck with it like I

(38:01):
remember when I wanted to signup they had two days a week
three days a week or unlimited.
And for some reason the lady whowas Ricardo's, her name is
Katie.
She was his girlfriend at thetime ended up they got married
eventually but she was helpinghim with the memberships and
she's look I know you're goingto stick with it.

(38:22):
And Ricardo told me like, Oh,you can pay for the two day a
week, pass.
And that was like 120 a month,but you have to come every day.
Oh.
And I'm like, all right, bet.
I didn't say that cause I didn'tknow what that meant that back
then, but it's like that forsure.
I'll be here.
And then they were like, yeah,we know.
I don't know.
They saw something like, yeah,you'll, you're going to stick

(38:42):
with it.
I could tell.
Yeah.
okay.
and then I just, I stuck withit.
Awesome.
From white belt to black belt.
When I was doing jiu jitsu, I,like we mentioned earlier, I
started jiu jitsu probably thatsummer between high school and
college.
And then, during college, I wasdoing the MMA thing with the
Nick Diaz team.

(39:02):
And that was when I quitbaseball.
I wasn't yet.
I don't think I was with mycoach Ricardo yet at the time.
I still had the aspiration to bean MMA fighter, but then I gave
up baseball and I was still inschool, I was doing jiu jitsu
and I was working out.
And I think, the biggestchallenge was like, was the path

(39:29):
that I chose because many peopledidn't agree with it.
It went against the get goodgrades, go to college, get a
good job and fit into society inthat.
Traditional sense, right?
And that's where I was going.
Cause I was like, Hey, okay,That's, but we already talked
about how I was going to go toUC San Diego.
I wanted to be a doctor.
I was like, Oh, I want to dosomething prestigious because I

(39:50):
have the ability.
I have the mental capacity to dowhatever I want.
Why not do something that, causeI wanted to stand out.
I want, Hey, I want to be adoctor, Alberto Juarez, because
I want attention and show youthat I can, and when the UC San
Diego thing didn't work out, mydream of that started to die.
I went to junior college for acouple of years and I got into
UC Davis and it was a pivotalpoint where I was like, I'm not

(40:13):
even going to go.
They gave me the acceptanceletter.
It was the day that I wassupposed to turn in the
agreement to go and I justdidn't turn it in.
I was like, Nope, I'm going todo this jiu Jitsu thing.
I was a blue belt at the time.
I was like, no, this jiu jitsuthing is way better.
I'm just gonna do that.
I'm gonna drop school.
Mm-hmm Just to jiu jitsu andjust live life.
I ended up moving to San Diegofor six months and just doing

(40:35):
some crazy stuff.
And, so I think like gettinglike pushback from society, like
my dad mostly.
this is not a real job.
Like you have no future in thisis a hobby.
And I'm like, whatever.
Like you, you can't tell himwhat to do now.
Like after that.
And then he would try to like,push back so hard, okay.
If you're not going to do this,I'm going to do it.
So he was trying to control me,and so that was a hard part was

(40:56):
like, Oh, I see my professorRicardo and he makes a living
teaching jiu jitsu.
Like why can't I do that?
Okay.
So maybe I should do that.
This is pretty fun.
Like I like jiu jitsu and soI'm, you know, like my dad, he's
like, okay, so now you don'thave to pay rent and you're
going to have to, you have tocontribute now to this family
because if you're not going toschool, I'm not supporting you.

(41:17):
And I was like, okay.
So I'm working at restaurants onthe weekends, and I'm doing jiu
jitsu six days a week, morningand night, and, So that was
tough, because I chose my ownpath, and I didn't really have
any.
Like nowadays you tell peoplethat they're like, yeah, go be a
professional Jiu Jitsu guy.
Like you can go do, you can sellDVDs and you can own a gym or
you can, there's so many,there's actually a lot of gyms
that will support you.

(41:37):
Locally, like the Caio Terra or,internationally, like when you
go to, Japan, they have, theCarpe Diem.
And they're like supporting likepurple belts just to teach
classes.
Like even like in my school.
I pay all the teachers, even theblue belts, Hey, like I pay you
to teach class.
Like I was teaching kids as ablue belt, but like I never got
paid.
I don't think I started gettingpaid to late in brown belt.
It was just like a volunteer.

(41:59):
It was tough cause I had a goal,but nobody believed in it.
So that was the hardest part.
Okay.
Yeah.
You mentioned that you had somepersonal struggles, and
challenges.
that your addiction strugglesbegan in your twenties around
the same time you left baseball.
Can you tell me a little bitabout that?
Sure, So, when I was likegrowing up, I think I, used like

(42:23):
alcohol or weed, like a lot ofkids growing up in high school.
I think I started when I was inhigh school.
I think I started drinking whenI was in middle school.
And then I had a lot of friendsthat would smoke weed in middle
school and I was like.
That sounds about right.
I think most of us started,experimenting during that time.
Yeah, and I, because of my mom'saddiction, I never wanted to use

(42:45):
drugs.
I was like, I see what drugs do.
It was terrible.
I don't want to do this.
I'm very focused on my goal atsuch a young age, which was, get
a good job, focus on my schools,do baseball.
I drank in high middle schoolwith friends, like socially, and
then, a lot of friends tried toget me to smoke weed, and I

(43:06):
didn't.
Eventually I tried weed in highschool.
Once I graduated high school andI went to college, I think
around the same time, I startedjiu jitsu.
I was working in restaurants,and a lot of people were using,
other drugs, like cocaine, orother things And they always try
to get me to do it.
I'm like, no, no way.
but I think it was that pointwhere I was rebellious against

(43:30):
my father because of him, likenot fulfilling his end of the
bargain.
And there's this saying I'mgoing to get back at you by
hurting myself and it makes nosense, right?
But that's that's the mindsetthat I think I has you know
what, screw it.
Let's try cocaine or let's dothese other things, And so I
started experimenting withdifferent drugs and, I took this

(43:53):
party path, it was really, youknow, socially accepted, and it
was like good times, fun.
This is around the same timewhen I was 20, that was when I
decided not to go to UC Davisanymore.
I was a blue ball at this timein, Jiu Jitsu and I went to San
Diego and I just, that was like,Hey, I'm going to go to San
Diego, let's go do somethingdifferent.

(44:14):
So I transferred just to therestaurant down there.
I was working and this is when Istarted, actually started
struggling with addiction.
I had a hard time like, my firsttime living on my own, I was 20,
I was, at San Diego on the,beach all the time.
I was doing jiu jitsu a littlebit at various places, but
mostly just enjoying myself Istruggled to pay rent.
Every month was like, oh shoot,I better pick up like extra
shifts so I can pay rent.

(44:34):
And I think I never cooked likeI always ate out, like I just
had no idea.
I was trying to figure it out.
And, eventually, my roommatemoved away.
And then I couldn't afford theextra rent.
I think we had a lease for sixmonth lease and I left one month
early or something.
And I was like, all right, bye.
We had another roommate whereher father was leasing it and we

(44:56):
were all three of us were likethe tenants and I just left and
I came back and then that's whenI got into jiu jitsu seriously
with my coach.
Like I started, that's when Icame back as a blue belt.
Ricardo, my coach, he opened uphis own gym, he branched off
from Ralph Gracie, and I wentwith him and I was teaching the
kids classes and from Blue Beltall the way until Black Belt.

(45:21):
There was times, I was workingin restaurants, like I said, and
there was times where, myaddiction got in the way, I
couldn't.
I couldn't show up to class or Iwould always call him with an
excuse, hide, lie, manipulate,but eventually like you can't
hide anymore.
You can't lie anymore.
So like he, as my coach, likehe, he had a hard time knowing

(45:42):
how to deal with it.
Like, how do I, he was trying toshow me like tough love, but
also be embracing.
And I think like he understood,he doesn't understand as an
addict, but his coach.
Rilion Gracie.
He that was his coach, right?
And he was an addict.
Okay, and he Struggled withaddiction and I think my coach

(46:04):
saw his you know Craziness andsaw my craziness.
I'm not nowhere near as crazy asthat guy.
But from what I hear I've nevermet the guy personally but So I
think he struggled with learninghow to like he tried to give me
tough love like alright, like ifyou're not if you're gonna be
using and not showing up, you'resuspended, you can't train for a

(46:24):
month or whatever, or I'm gonnatake away a stripe.
Like, when I was a brown, when Iwas a brown belt, there was
another time, I got, I wouldstruggle, then I would get
clean, but I would, then I'd doit again, it was like up and
down, for years, and theneventually, as I came up in the
belts, purple, brown.
I took on more responsibilities.

(46:45):
I was the head coach of the kidsprogram at Purple Brown Belt.
I started coaching thefundamentals programs and then
I, and then I became a blackbelt for my coach and, I just, I
was pretty much running theoperations of the gym.
And I was teaching the majorityof the classes, like I was the,
primary coach.
And then eventually, I just camein all messed up one day.

(47:06):
And.
I think over time people startedto see it, like members started
to notice, parents of the kidsstarted to notice, and he's hey
man, I have to let you go, andyou can't coach anymore, and it
was tough, and like I feltremorse, and I wanted to
apologize to the families, buthe let me come back as training,

(47:29):
so I was still there training.
And it was at this point, I wantto do something different.
Like I finally got the blackbelt.
I know this is not like the endgoal, but that was a huge
accomplishment.
It was.
And so what can I do now?
Like I dropped out of school, sowhy not go back to school?
And so, like I was telling myprofessor that, and he was like,
Oh, sure.

(47:49):
I think, you're like, you are,why do you need a degree?
Like he was no, he felt likeanti school, you don't need a
degree, you're a black belt, youcan do, whatever.
And I'm like, no, I think I justneed it for me.
I want to go back to school.
And I was training there still,but ever since he let me go as
an instructor because of myaddiction, it wasn't the same.
it was really awkward.
I was still training there, buteventually I said, Hey man, it's

(48:10):
not really working out.
I'm gonna not be training here.
I'm gonna go back to school.
And, we left it at that.
Yeah, and I don't think weeither of us at that time really
said what we really wanted tosay We held back and we're like,
okay cool.
Like good luck.
All right, good luck.
Yeah, and then I left to SanJose State because I wanted to
learn judo and and all this timelike I'm my addiction is like up

(48:30):
and down like it would get inthe way I get clean for a little
bit and then I have it undercontrol until it wasn't in
control, right?
And then I went to San JoseState and same kind of story I'm
working at restaurants and Ichose that University because
it's local and because of thejudo program like hey like I'm
gonna definitely just been new.

(48:51):
Yeah, let's be a white belt allover again.
So let's go San Jose State Istarted training judo there with
David Williams, and I stayedwith him the whole time.
I think by the time I graduatedwhich was like Three years at
San Jose State, I was a brownbelt, in judo.
After I graduated, this was likearound the time where I started
to get clean.

(49:12):
Okay, so that was one of myquestions.
At what point did you realizeyour addiction was becoming a
problem and what did you do totry to fix it?
Yeah, It obviously was a problembecause it would get in the way
of my responsibilities.
Like I just couldn't show up anddo the things I wanted to do.
Then it was really hurting myrelationship with Keiko, my

(49:33):
wife, we, got married in 2017, Ithink one year after I
graduated.
One or two years after Igraduated college, and I just
saw like how it was hurting her.
One day when, you know, I hitmultiple bottoms and I just saw,

(49:55):
how much it was hurting her.
And then, so I was like, youknow what, like I'm going to get
clean for her because this isnot fair.
My first goal was like, I wantto, I can't see her like this,
this is terrible.
I can't believe what I stillhave a lot of shame and guilt
for what I've done and put, Iput her through.
Throughout the years when I wastrying to get clean, I went to
narcotics anonymous becausethat's what my mom did and
that's how she got clean, right?

(50:16):
Her version of clean.
I know of this.
way to help you get clean.
And I would go and I'd get cleanfor a little bit and then I
stopped going, and then I wouldget, start using it again.
And then eventually, I wouldjust use it as a means to stop
for a little while, get my lifeback on track.
And then months later or a yearlater, I'm back where I started

(50:36):
again.
If not worse.
I stopped using one time for ayear.
and then I was like, oh, I did ayear.
That's pretty good.
I guess I could start drinkingagain, and then once you start
drinking, then one thing leadsto another, and then you're back
in the hole.
I finally went back to NarconicsAnonymous, and, I finally, did
the steps, and did the, all thethings that they suggest, and,
and I've been part of thatorganization, but now I've been

(50:59):
clean for almost, In May, if, aslong as I keep this path in May,
it'll be six years.
That's amazing.
Good job.
Thank you.
Awesome.
Good.
Okay.
So then let's go to, let's see.
Can I talk about how I got myblack belt in judo?
Yeah, absolutely.
After I graduated, I was like,Oh, I'm a brown belt in judo.
So I want to get a black belt.

(51:20):
So I would go back to San JoseState to train with my coach.
And I think it took me like anextra, like two years and I was
training, three days a week andwe would train for like four
hours.
I would do like conditioning foran hour.
I would do like technique fortwo hours, and then I would do
one hour of like hard sparring.
Wow.
for two or three days a week.
I actually got rewarded my,shodan or black belt.

(51:42):
in Judo during the pandemic.
yeah.
20 2020.
Then after I got promoted toblack belt, I was like, all
right.
I don't need to do judo muchanymore now.
I was training so hard, but judois rough.
Oh yeah.
Oh my gosh, it's so differentthan jiu jitsu, It's tough on
the body.
Yeah, taking falls.
I'm like, 30, I'm not like a 14year old that they could take

(52:04):
falls and pop back up.
We have a judo at our dojo, andthese kids are like, 8, 10, 12.
And they're just like, fallingand getting up and falling and
getting up.
I'm like, man, you can askKeiko, I would come home and I'd
be like, I hate judo.
I hate Judo, it freaking hurts,I don't want to, oh my gosh, but
I was determined, I have a goal,I'm going to do it, let's get
this black belt, and after that,I wanted to develop my game

(52:28):
beyond Jiu Jitsu.
I need a stand up part, let's dosome Judo, this is going to help
me as a martial artist, and ithas, because now I have that in
my pocket.
If I need to stand and I have amuch better balance, I
understand the grippingpatterns.
I can defend myself on my feet.
I have some good takedowns,yeah.
And it helps with the pace too.
Cause of the judo pace is likemuch more intense in general for
Jiu Jitsu.

(52:48):
Absolutely.
What has been the biggest lessonyou've learned from your
recovery?
I think everything that I oweright now in my life is because
I am clean and stopped usingdrugs.
Okay.
Because, everything came afterthat.
I got my black belt.
In both, Judo and Jiu Jitsu, andI was still, struggling with

(53:09):
addiction.
I have a determination, I can doall these things, but It wasn't
until, I got clean that I feltlike I could actually tap into
my true potential.
I can actually find out whoAlberto really is.
In my opinion, because of, myemotional neglect, because of my

(53:29):
abandonment issues, because ofme seeing my mom and my
addiction, because of controlissues and those things led me
down that way and it was my wayof getting back at the world.
That blocked me from being who Iam and finding out who I am.
And if I use I'm just going togo down that path again.
And so I think the lesson that Ilearned was that, in order for

(53:55):
us to figure out and to livelike authentic life, like we
need to be clear minded.
We need to be present and weneed to like know that every day
is a blessing because if youdon't do the right thing, like
something can be taken away fromyou.
Yeah.
I agree with that.

(54:15):
For others struggling withaddiction, what advice would you
give them?
It's going to be okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Like it's going to be okay.
I think when you get deep into abad spot, like you just don't
care if you live or die, youdon't care about anything else.
You're so wrapped up innegativity and you're selfish

(54:42):
and you're being taken over bythe addiction.
And I think they needcompassion.
Okay.
Yeah.
So I think they need like a hug.
They need compassion.
They needed to be known likeit's going to be okay.
When you're ready, you needsupport because you can't do
this by yourself.
I don't think anybody can.

(55:02):
If you're an addict, you cannotdo it by yourself.
You need support in one form oranother.
I found it with NarcoticsAnonymous, and I know that's a
strong path, for many people.
And I suggest that.
I've seen some big changes inyou, your entrepreneurship, your
new businesses, and I saw itever since, um, UFC and just

(55:25):
your drive, to make yoursituation better.
Going after the things you loveand wanted the kind of teacher
you were.
Yeah, it was really nice seeingyou grow.
Why don't you tell us about yourbusiness ventures and how it all
started?
Sure.
Since blue belt, I was alwaysteaching jiu jitsu part time.

(55:46):
I taught, and then as I wasgoing through college, I was,
training a little bit of jiujitsu.
And when I graduated, I got ajob, coaching youth sports.
So I've always coached kids.
And during that time, I was alsoteaching part time Jiu Jitsu at
Smash Gyms.
So Jiu Jitsu I've always beencoaching part time.
But after seeing my professor,seeing kind of the back end of

(56:08):
owning a gym, I was discouraged.
I was like, I don't know if thisis for me.
So let me go back to school.
And I got the kinesiology sportsmanagement degree and business
minor.
And I got some like tools, likesome understanding of the
business side of it.
And then after I graduated.
I actually got an opportunity toown this youth sports company

(56:31):
called National Academy ofAthletics and I owned the
territory of San Jose area,which included many cities, San
Jose, Milpitas, Los Gatos,Gilroy, Morgan Hill, and even
Watsonville for a while.
And so I learned a lot in that,job.
I was teaching part time jiujitsu, training all the time,
and then running this,organization.

(56:52):
And I learned so much.
And then eventually when I gotthe opportunity to be the head
coach at UFC gym, I saw that asan opportunity to finally do jiu
jitsu full time.
It was a dream of mine.
Like I want to just do jiu jitsufull time.
And at that point I didn't careat what aspect.
I was like, I don't know whatit's going to be.
I don't know if I'm going to owna gym.

(57:13):
I don't know.
I'm going to coach withsomebody.
I don't know if I'm going to owna jiu jitsu podcast.
I'm like, whatever, wherever jiujitsu takes me, I just want to
do that.
But I want to do it full timebecause I don't want to be half
in anymore.
Before I was at UFC gym, I wasteaching Jiu Jitsu with smash
gyms.
I finally, I created my own.
My own mark Daruma Dojo.
It was a brand and I wasteaching Daruma Dojo out of a

(57:33):
gym in Redwood City.
It's like a koksuwan in RedwoodCity a buddy of mine he owned
the place Hafez and he invitedme to teach jiu jitsu there.
I can promote my brand and so Iwas teaching there three days a
week I was teaching at smashgyms that they have three
different I was teaching atthree different locations like
six days a week and then I wasrunning this US sports company
And I was just working hard,hustling and training and

(57:57):
teaching.
But I never got to do one thingfully because I'll spread
everywhere.
And then when this opportunityfor the UFC gym came up and it
was like right after thepandemic, because after the
pandemic, the martial arts, thesmash gyms, the other gym that
was teaching Daruma dojo out,they all like.
Closed.
And so I was just doing jiujitsu with friends in garages

(58:20):
and I'm but the youth sportscompany they like pivoted.
So I saw like that in order tobe a successful in business you
need be flexible.
You need to be creative and youneed to make just make choices
and then when you make a choice.
Go for it.
And then be ready to makeanother choice because you might
make a great choice.
You might make a not greatchoice, but you gotta learn and

(58:41):
adapt.
Eventually after the pandemic,the UFC gym came and I was like,
cool, like I am now able to dojust a full time because they
paid decent.
I was able to teach a lot ofclasses.
So I was like.
Finally, I can stay here and dojiu jitsu and develop my little
program and I sold my youthsports company.

(59:01):
I sold the territory to another,coworker, another partner.
I learned a lot from that too,because I should have made
triple the profit.
Cause I, took this organization,this territory and I built it
like crazy.
Like I blew it up.
And then when I sold it forthree times of what I bought it
for.
That's great.
That's a good profit.
It is.
But I ended up breaking evenbecause, the deal that I had, It

(59:25):
kind of went south.
The lady that bought it, she puta certain amount of money down
and then she took it and ran itinto the ground.
Oh, no.
But this is like one thing thatI've learned over years is like
how to make a deal, how toprotect your investments.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The more that like I wasteaching at UFC gym for a little
over a year and I startedbuilding a program and promoting

(59:46):
my brand within the gym becauselike at that point it was like,
wherever I go, Daruma Dojo goes,cause I am Daruma Dojo.
We are Daruma Dojo.
I was doing a good job there, soI asked them, Hey, I want more
money.
I, Proposed an amount and said,this is like what I'm worth.
I'm worth more than this, butlike I, in order for me to
continue, this is what I'mexpecting.
And then they denied me.

(01:00:06):
So I was like, all right, Ithink it's time for me to open
up my own gym now then.
One of my friends, Eric, like heput it in my head.
He's like, all right, let's go.
Like he was let's do it.
I'll help you.
So he was, I think that momentwhen they denied me and he said
he'll help me.
I was like, let's do it.
Then we ended up opening up aDaruma Dojo 2022 in September.

(01:00:26):
Right on.
Because Keiko, my wife, she'sfrom Japan and I visited there a
few times even before we openedDuruma Dojo and before we got
married, I visited and I learnedlike what the Duruma doll is and
like what it represents.
The Daruma doll is a, it's likea really, it's a good luck charm
in Japan and it's huge inJapanese culture.

(01:00:47):
Everyone knows about Daruma.
It pretty much symbolizesperseverance, never giving up.
They have the saying, fall downseven times, get up eight times.
Nanakarobi yaoki.
That's how they say it inJapanese.
And, it really struck a nervewith me because, like I've been
through my struggles, but Ialways had that desire.
And drive even though like I'vebeen knocked down, get back up

(01:01:08):
and it doesn't matter how manytimes you get knocked down.
And we learned that in JiuJitsu, right?
Like man, you get tapped, butthat's okay.
And you slap bump, you go again.
Yeah.
There's been many people I'veseen so many people in Jiu Jitsu
where they come, they get theirbutt kicked and they never come
back because it's too hard.
True.
Oh no, I can't deal with losingor I can't deal with this
physicality or I can't deal withhard things.
I'm going to give up.

(01:01:28):
But I want to do hard things andthen keep going.
I fell in love with what itrepresented and then me and my
wife were dreaming on a subwayone day in Japan and what would
we call it?
And then we finally, she alwayssays that she came up with the
name Daruma Dojo.
I'm like, I like it because dojomeans a learning place of
learning.

(01:01:49):
and Daruma means like nevergiving up.
You go to this place learning,you never give up and you grow
like that, keep learning andnever give up.
And so that's for me why, Dojois Daruma Dojo When we opened
up, we came up with a name, wecame up with a logo eventually,
before we even had a place andthen I was teaching in Redwood
City and then I was promotingthe brand within UFC gym.

(01:02:14):
As stickers or just like hoodiesand that was never intending to
open a gym really it was justlike a brand or and then When I
opened up my gym in Sunnyvale ittook off because I had a
following It was the right placeat the right time.
I think and we had somethinggoing on.
We did really well And I justwas like, so happy that, because

(01:02:34):
when you teach jiu jitsu for,and when you work for somebody
else, you're limited into whatyou can do, into your
creativity.
Like you have a vision, but youcan't, unless depending on the
structure of the business, thechances are you're not going to
be able to do that becauseyou're always working for
somebody else.
They're going to hold you backor there's going to be
compromise.
I want to do this.

(01:02:54):
Okay, you could do that, but youcould only do that when or if
or, so eventually I was like,screw that.
I'm at a place in my life whereI'm ready to take a chance and
commit.
And I went all in I put ahundred percent, me and my wife
put our savings into it, likeeverything.
Like I had some friends thatwanted to buy in, but they
wanted to be like, they wantedto own a portion of the

(01:03:17):
business.
Like, no, no, no, I think we canafford this and Keiko had a
savings.
I had a little bit and we justdid it.
One of the best decisions I evermade in my life.
Right on.
After you opened up, the dojo inSunnyvale.
It's been a great success.
I can see, all your postings onInstagram, just being there

(01:03:38):
visiting, all the people there,you have a lot of, upper belts,
that are truly loyal to you andhave helped you there.
What made you decide to branchoff into another city?
Yeah, I think you made a goodpoint.
Like I'm so grateful for my teamthere.
That are loyal and that supportDuruma Dojo because like I

(01:03:58):
mentioned earlier, like we can'tdo it by ourselves.
It's impossible, right?
You can't run a business byyourself.
You need a team.
Like my wife, Keiko, was workingfull time job at a school as a
daycare teacher, educator, andshe would come and also work
full time at the dojo.

(01:04:19):
She was working like 80 hours aweek.
I'm working 80 hours a week.
And that's like the dedicationthat we had, but because of her
support and because of theseother, athletes and just
practitioners, that supported mealong the way, like we built a
community and that's what I.
Envision for us is like thecommunity that we build the

(01:04:39):
culture, you know that judgmentfree zone where you can learn
and be the best person that youcan be because once I got a
certain point in my life Thatwas all I wanted to do was like
I just want to grow and be abetter person And I know that
jiu jitsu is a great tool to dothat and I want to create a
space where people can do thesame thing and we did our best

(01:05:01):
to do that and we're stilllearning about our culture.
I'm learning more and more aboutour culture as I as a business
owner Like I want to continue tofoster this culture.
It wasn't until about a fewmonths ago that I starting to
realize what our culture is,like we're here for people to
learn to grow for the familiesthat they feel safe to bring

(01:05:22):
their kids where their kids canhave a good time the kids can
learn and build confidence andbelief in themselves.
And same thing for the adults.
Everyone does it just for adifferent reason.
But, I think the main reason isthey want to be better.
They want to be in better shape.
They want to be, better equippedto defend themselves.
They want to be, a better human.

(01:05:43):
They want to have moreconfidence.
Jiu jitsu helps us become betterand so like how can I foster
that culture for people to bethe best version of themselves
Yeah, and then Eventually likewhen I got to certain point, I
think that business naturallywas growing and I was It was
after maybe about a year as weopened, I was looking into a

(01:06:05):
second location because I thinkit was just going that direction
because of the growth.
I could have potentiallyexpanded the location that we
had into the space next door.
I actually was going that routeat first.
Oh, our business is growing.
We need to expand.
So let's make this place bigger.
Spent a lot of months on thatdeal that just didn't work out.
Because of.
the way things were structuredwith the landlord, it just

(01:06:28):
didn't work out and that wasunfortunate.
I thought, if expanding thisspace isn't the option, maybe a
second location is.
I was looking at Milpitas for along time because I was out here
with my youth sports company andI had an affinity for this area.
It reminded me a little bit ofmy home in Brentwood, like it's
a real family town I feel.

(01:06:48):
It's a commuter town, which samething is in Antioch and
Brentwood, most people commutefrom there.
And I think people in Milpitasdon't usually work in Milpitas.
They usually, a close to homecommuter.
They commute to San Jose, theycommute to San Francisco.
It's very family focused becausewhen I was teaching the youth
sports here.
I saw a lot of families and Isaw like they had strong family

(01:07:09):
core values.
So I had an affinity because itreminded me of home here.
And so I was like, I was lookinginto Milpitas for a long time I
actually had a spot that I waslooking into a year ago and that
fell through.
The people that I wanted to gopartnership with, they weren't
committed.
I was already stretched thin.
I just knew the timing wasn'tright.

(01:07:29):
I didn't go through the deal.
And it took a year to bepatient.
And in that year, my wife gotpregnant and I was like, okay,
this was a good year to bepatient, to support her.
And then in that year, I alsodid the Iron Man, which is one
of my physical, attributes thatI accomplished.
But after my daughter was born,I was like, okay, now let's

(01:07:54):
revisit Milpitas.
And then things just fell intoplace.
The spot opened and our businessexpanded.
Our community's expanding, we'veonly been open for not even two
months yet.
But it's starting to grow.
And, we have the communityalready from Sunnyville that
they're already coming here intraining and we're getting new
members and we're just tryingto, make our place here, like we

(01:08:17):
did in Sunnyville, but inMilpitas in a different way.
Because, Sunnyville was onecommunity.
Milpitas is a differentcommunity, but it's the same
community as far as Druma Dojo,the same culture that we're
trying to create, but also adaptto the different city.
Great.
That's awesome.
Do you think you're going tobranch out?
Do you have any other placesthat you've been looking at?

(01:08:37):
As of right now, no.
Okay.
I have multiple cities on mylist.
Okay.
That I think would be good.
Cities for jiu jitsu, Uhhuh, ButI'm still in the thick of it
right now.
What were the biggest lessonsyou learned from running your
own business?
I think the biggest, one of thebiggest lessons is like the
discipline, because no one'sgoing to do it for you.

(01:08:58):
You got to do it for yourselfand you have to find a way and
learn.
So I think it's great to have awhite belt mentality, a white
belt mindset, a beginner's mind,right?
Because I'm good at Jiu Jitsu.
I've been doing Jiu Jitsu for 22years.

(01:09:20):
I'm good at teaching Jiu Jitsu.
And because of my experiencewith the US Sports Company, I
became, in my education, Ibecame good at, or better, maybe
blue belt level at certain partsof business, like marketing or,
promotions or events.
Like we're definitely known forholding events, but there's a

(01:09:41):
lot of parts of business that,Are really difficult, that you
have to learn.
You have to be ready to be awhite belt all over again and
start from the very bottom,finances.
Construction.
That's probably the part Idislike the most is like this
place we had to do a lot ofconstruction and project
managing.
I'm so grateful that I havefamily and friends that are good
at this and I can learn fromthem and I'm with them as all

(01:10:03):
the whole step of the way.
I have to give a huge shout outfor my father.
He helped me build the firstgym.
Oh, nice.
Because of him, we have thefirst gym.
Nice.
He did everything.
And I was with him the wholeway.
And because of my friend MattMunoz, and Jim, and, Giglio and
my dad as well for helping here,but mostly Matt did this place,
I can't do it.
I'm like a no stripe white belt.

(01:10:25):
And he's a black belt.
It's very nice and clean.
Thanks.
Thank you, Matt.
and my dad helped a lot as wellhere, but like he's, that's been
the biggest help.
I think that is the, what I'velearned is, I learned this
through jiu jitsu, but alsothrough businesses that you have
to keep a beginner's mind.
You have to be willing to learnbecause if you want to be
successful, like you have to putthat hat on every once in a

(01:10:46):
while, put that white belt onagain and just like, all right,
Yeah, let's learn.
And it was exciting becausealthough it's very hard and very
difficult and very stressful andit's hard, but, if you're
determined, like you can learn,like if you can get a black
belt, you can learn whatever.
Yeah, absolutely.
What advice would you givesomeone trying to turn their
passion for martial arts into acareer?

(01:11:10):
If someone wants to turn whatthey love into a career, I'll
give two big things that I thinkare important.
One is you have to go all in.
That's my opinion.
Some people are scared andeveryone's scared.

(01:11:32):
I'm terrified when I open up mygym and I'm still like scared
for my new location, right?
If you're not committed 100percent and you're not all in,
you're doing a disservice towhat could be, right?
I went in with a mentality,especially the Sunnyvale

(01:11:52):
location and even this locationis I'm going to go all in and if
it doesn't work out, at least Iknow that I did 100%.
Yeah.
And if something catastrophichappens and, I know that I could
recover from it.
But I was able to live my lifeand say, Hey, I did it.
Like I gave everything, I wentall in.

(01:12:15):
It's hard for me to give likeadvice, say, quit your job, quit
your day job and go all in,forget about, The finances, and
forget about your family andjust go all in.
But if you have that opportunityand the only thing holding you
back is fear, do it.
Go all in, give your whole lifesavings and do it.
If you lose everything, you canstart it back again.
At least, you know, you tried.

(01:12:36):
Exactly.
And the second piece of advice Iwould give people that want to
turn their passion into acareer.
Is you have to be willing to dothings that are not your passion
because if you want to turn thispassion into a career and you
want to do what you love, youbetter be ready to do the things

(01:12:57):
you hate.
Be so that you can do what youlove, right?
Because if you.
If you're just going to do thatpart and not be disciplined
enough to do the other parts, orif you're wealthy and you can
pay someone to do everything foryou, then maybe that's an
option.
But if you love it, you'll dothe things you don't love just
so that you have thatopportunity to do the things you

(01:13:18):
do love.
If that makes sense.
It does make sense.
A lot of sense.
You competed in an Ironman race,or Ironman races, right?
I've completed, half Ironmans,and one full Ironman.
I've ran, I've doneultramarathons, where I've ran
50 plus miles, and I did one, Idid a 100 mile race before too.

(01:13:39):
Yeah, I remember being presentfor your 100 mile race.
Yeah, I remember that.
That was crazy.
Yeah, that was wild.
Yeah, okay, so let's talk aboutwhat mental strategies did you
use to push through those toughmoments in those races?
And you can tell us a little bitabout the different races that

(01:14:00):
you've done.
Yeah, I think just keep going.
it's simple, but if you run ahundred mile race, or if you do
an Ironman, like I was luckyenough to accomplish, you're
going to have moments of high,like the highest highs you'll

(01:14:21):
ever have in your life.
And you'll have, you're going toalso have the lowest lows you
ever had.
I think it's just like life,like you're going to have downs
and ups, and that's just the wayit is, right?
When you're at your highesthigh, enjoy it, but also know
that the low is going to come,so be humble.
Enjoy the moment, and then whenyou're at your lowest low,

(01:14:44):
always remember that as long asyou keep going forward, And you
keep your eye on, the prize, oryou keep your eye on the goal
that's ahead of you, that highis going to come back again.
And hopefully, once you do hardthings, like a hundred mile
race, or get clean from anaddiction, or earn your black

(01:15:07):
belt in jiu jitsu, or completean Ironman, you just open a
business, turn your passion intoa profession You just level the
bar for yourself and now yourbaseline of like your confidence
and your baseline of what youthink life can be has just been
raised and then you do it again.
You do it again.
I did one hard thing so I coulddo another.

(01:15:28):
Right?
So I think the mindset is youhave to be disciplined.
You have to put the hard work.
You have to set a goal and nomatter what you have to just
keep going forward.
Okay?
Yeah.
How has the mindset required forendurance sports helped you in
other areas of your life?
It gave me the confidence thatif I could do that, I could do

(01:15:51):
anything.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
I have the confidence.
If I want to accomplish anotherfeature, accomplish another
goal, There was times in myraces that I thought I was like
gonna die or I wanted to giveup.
I was telling people in myIronman race, I wanted to give
up at least 20 times, at leastthere was one time it was really

(01:16:13):
bad.
Like I wanted to quit.
I don't think I can go on.
And then I was like, okay, likeI'm willing to die out here.
Just because I'm determined togo forward and everything's
going to be okay.
Yeah, everything's going to beokay.
And then I was really lucky likepreparing for the Ironman race.
I worked with mental coaches.

(01:16:36):
Fernando Lopez and I had apsychologist that I was working
with this clinical psychologistand they gave me a lot of tools
to help overcome these fears andovercome these anxieties for my
Ironman and then for the hundredmile race, my buddy Mark, he did
it.
I'm like, Hey man, if he can doit, like I can learn from him.
Like I'm going to be white allover again, and learn how to run

(01:16:57):
and just did study.
And there was times where I justwanted to give up, and then once
you get past that moment, thenit just gets better.
So I learned that it's okay towant to quit.
And that's fine.
You can take a break.
When I wanted to quit anIronman, I just started pedaling

(01:17:17):
my bike slower.
I was like, okay, I want toquit.
I feel like I'm going to die.
I'm having these terriblethoughts and terrible feelings.
but you know what, I think thenatural thing is people want to
go faster.
I got to go faster so I can beatthis.
But instead I was like, no,let's slow down.
Yeah.
Let's go slower.
Let's pedal slow.
So if you're having a hard time,slow down.

(01:17:38):
Yeah.
Don't try to go faster, slowdown, but don't stop moving
forward.
You don't have to run.
You could.
You could walk, you could crawl.
But eventually.
Okay.
If I can walk, I can run.
And if I can run, I can sprint.
Yeah.
For the finish line.
Okay.
If you could go back and talk toyour younger self at age 18,

(01:17:58):
what advice would you give him?
If I can talk to my youngerself, I think I would give a
similar advice that I mentionedearlier, which is I just tell
him it's going to be okay.
I give him a hug and I say, Hey,man, like you're worth it.
You're worthy.
You have people that love youand find a support system and
you're going to be good.
You're going to be okay.

(01:18:19):
Yeah, that's it.
I don't know.
It's hard to say you can't goback and I would have done this
different, I think he justneeded a little more love and
support.
Yeah.
Compassion.
That's it.
What legacy do you hope to leavebehind in BJJ, business and in

(01:18:41):
life?
I don't think too much aboutlike legacy as far as like how I
want to be remembered.
I want Daruma Dojo to continueliving on, I think it's nice to
be creative and to say and to bea part of something that we
created and if that can continueand that would be fantastic.

(01:19:05):
And then, I think that's themost important thing for me in
BJJ is that we can maintain aculture that we have.
Daruma Dojo continues to groweven long after I'm dead.
And now that I have a family, mydaughter, I see things so
differently.

(01:19:26):
I see, you know, how can I raiseher?
How can I provide for her?
And you know, when I'm gone.
What am I going to be able toleave her, not only financially,
which I hope I can set her upfor success financially through
our business ventures andthrough Jiu Jitsu, and through

(01:19:47):
our financial planning, but alsolike mentally, because that's
more important because, myfamily wasn't rich and I'm not
rich, but I'm building abusiness, I'm building a
community.
Because it all started, like yousaid, from a mindset from,
getting clean, from doing hardthings, from doing jiu jitsu,
from developing a belief, fromworking on myself, I want to

(01:20:09):
leave that to her and to mystudents.
The ability to believe inthemselves and move forward.
Tell me about your family andyour support Yeah, my family is
most important thing is my wife,Keiko.
and now my daughter, Elia, likethey are my family.
I have a big family.
I have my mom, my dad, mybrother, my sister, but we have

(01:20:31):
our own family now.
I just want to spend time withthem.
And I just want to be with them.
I'm so grateful because like nowme and Keiko have always been a
good team.
And our relationship has grownso much, we've been dating since
2012.
So we've been together for 13years, been married for what,
eight years.

(01:20:52):
Yeah, eight years.
and we've just continued to growtogether.
Like she told me the other day,she's like, and I, it meant a
lot to me, she said, I love youso much more now than I did
before.
I just, not that I didn't loveyou, but like you're just such a
different person now.
Our relationship is stronger andI feel the same way.
Like I've only loved her moreand more.

(01:21:13):
I've never loved her less, andbecause we communicate well,
especially since the last five,five plus years, almost six
years, Our communication hasgotten strong and we just work
really well together.
Even with business, like I wastelling her the other day that,
some people, maybe they have afamily business, but then like
they have a hard time separatingtheir marriage relationship and

(01:21:34):
then their work relationship andthen they're like parenting
relationship and then for me andI was like, yeah, I don't get
that like it's just onerelationship.
Some people have a hard timebeing married and in working
together.
Maybe if she was my student onthe mat, then maybe it'd be
different.
I don't know.

(01:21:54):
I don't know, but I'm just verylucky.
Super lucky, so grateful thatwhen I first started dating
Keiko, she was the only womanthat I was ever dating that I
could see, a marriage and that Icould see her being, like, the
mother of my child.
And I was like, this isdifferent.
Okay.
I could see her.

(01:22:14):
I could see a future.
And we tried for many years tohave kids and it was
unsuccessful and we thought Iguess like we told each other if
we don't ever have kids, that'sfine.
Like we have each other.
Yeah, and If it's not meant forus Then you know, hey We have

(01:22:35):
each other we still we're gonnabe okay.
Yeah, And then we got lucky withEllia, like she came and this
was at the point where I didn'tgive up.
I think Keiko kind of thought itwasn't going to happen, we both
got into this state ofacceptance, Hey, the chances are

(01:22:56):
it's not going to happen.
But we proved the chances wrong,I guess.
Your little miracle.
Yeah, she is.
And, she was premature a coupleof months.
She was healthy and, she ishealthy and she's 10 months now.
And, my, my favorite time of theday is just spending time with
her, just like hugging andcuddling and playing and it's

(01:23:18):
been great so far, 10 months, 10months so far.
I'm a white belt all over again.
Yeah.
White belt.
Yes.
In parenting.
Parenting.
For sure.
And Keiko awarded me my firststripe the other day.
Cause Keiko, she's been workingin early childhood development
for 20 years.
Oh, so she, she knows.
Children rearing, she knows thisage group where they're like

(01:23:41):
newborns to about one or two.
That's her ballpark where sheplays with.
And so she understands thedevelopment.
So she's a black belt.
Although she hasn't been a mom,right?
So when you have your own kid,it's different.
But there's still a lot of this,she still has a lot of skills.
I've always had a hard time toput her to sleep.
If she's crying and I'd rock herand she'll calm down with me.

(01:24:06):
But when I put her down to goback to sleep, she always wake
up and start crying again.
And then I get really anxious.
And at that point it's done.
Like I've, I have done like inthe middle of the night, Keiko
normally always gets up, butsometimes I would try to help or
before we go to bed, she wakesup and she's crying.
And so I.
Try to put her, I asked Keikoquestions like, okay, how do you

(01:24:28):
do this?
How do you hold her?
How do you rock or how do yousupport the head?
How do you put them down?
And then she gives you all thesetips, right?
And I'm learning.
I'm like, okay.
I gave up like so many times,like four or five times, like
where she, she's unsoothable andshe's crying.
And my anxiety is going throughthe roof and I'm like, I'm
sorry, I put you back on thecrib.
You're crying your head off.

(01:24:48):
I'm going to walk away now.
You're okay.
And then go get Keiko.
And there was many times where Ijust thought I just, I, maybe I
just, I can't do it.
Maybe there's something.
My, anxiety that I just can'tsoothe this baby.
Or when I do soothe her and puther back down, she wakes back
up.
The other day, a few weeks ago,I finally was able to do it.
And then she went back to sleepand then, Keiko's like, all
right.

(01:25:08):
Today you get your first stripe.
Now jiu jitsu is life.
I'm the one stripe white beltand parenting.
I'm going to post everythingabout fatherhood now on
Instagram.
That is cool.
Is there anything else you'dlike to say?
Thank you for the conversation.
Thank you for having me on thepodcast.
Thank you for coming to the dojoand thank you for everything

(01:25:32):
you've done for the communityaround here, like as an artist,
as a photographer, as apractitioner, as a coach, like
you really are doing a hugeservice for all of us.
You're amazing.
Oh, thank you.
I appreciate that.
Yeah, it's fun.
I just love giving back to thecommunity and, just meeting new
people like you.

(01:25:53):
yeah.
I really like it a lot.
So yeah, thanks for being myfriend.
Thanks for, for what you do forjiu jitsu and, giving back.
And, you know, for me to promotemy Dojo, we're in Sunnyvale,
we're in Milpitas.
You can message me on Instagram,you can send me an email.
We have YouTube, we have TikTok,we have Instagram, we have
Facebook.
I teach at San Jose State.

(01:26:14):
I teach San Jose State Mondaysand Wednesdays, the Jiu Jitsu
program there, I like to,connect the college universities
and their programs.
Come train Jiu Jitsu, come checkus out, it's what I love to do,
so I could do Jiu Jitsu all dayand talk about Jiu Jitsu all day
and help people become better,try to find their path, right?

(01:26:34):
Yeah.
My philosophy when it comes tocoaching is I want people to
find their path and I want toset up a place where they feel
comfortable to make mistakes andfeel comfortable to explore and
to be curious about Jiu Jitsu.
And through that curiosity andthrough that exploration and

(01:26:55):
having that safe environment andculture and community, they can
do that.
And so if you're interested inhaving something like that, come
check us out.
Duruma Dojo.
Reach out to Alberto, him andhis family.
They're doing good stuff in allareas.
So thank you.
Thanks for coming.
Thank you.
Okay.
Take care.

(01:27:15):
You too.
Bye.
Bye.