#9 Ben Solidarity South Jiu Jitsu

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to today's episode wherewe deep dive into the life of

(00:02):
someone who's been through itall.
Ben's story is one of survival,struggle, and transformation
from growing up in a world ofcrime and addiction to finding
faith, education, and a passionfor jiu jitsu that helped him
turn his life around.
I met Ben through the KoffeeKrew.
Right, Ben.
Yup sure did.
Welcome to the podcast.

(00:23):
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Let's dive right in and Can youpaint a picture of your
upbringing?
I think you explained it great.
You made it sound like a numberone bestseller of a book.
Man, I was like, whose life areyou talking about?
Word, that's awesome.
If I could paint a picture, itwould be very abstract.

(00:43):
Let's put it that way.
Just tons of colors.
Nothing makes sense.
If I can use one simple term,and I shared this with you, it
would just be very chaotic.
That's the most simplistic way Ican explain it.
Okay.
So what was your home life like?
Tell me about your father.
Tell me about your mom.
And I want to clarify though,like whenever I talk about my
parents, it's no diss to them.
Absolutely.

(01:04):
I love my dad.
I love my mom with all my heart.
As I got older, I understoodthat, they did the best that
they could do.
You know, and a lot of parents,they just do the best that they
can do with the skills that theyhave.
At the time that they are goingthrough that, you know, and all
of us like certain skills anduntil we learn certain skills,
we're operating with the toolsthat we have.
So I just wanted to throw thatout there.

(01:25):
Absolutely.
I'm glad you put that out therebecause that is very important.
Because I think sometimesparents get people give parents
a hard time and they say, it'sall your fault that I'm this
way.
And we Dismiss the parents andwhat they did for us in the
sense.
It might not have been thegreatest thing and I might not
have agreed with certainparenting choices.
It may be a lot of them, but Iwill say I'm still here and I'm

(01:47):
still alive because there wassome love there and that they
did care for me, but the waythat they express love or show
love comes out of the way thatthey were taught and express
love.
So out of that comes.
This chaotic abstract lifestyle.
So true.
So if I could explain my mom andmy dad, I think my dad was

(02:07):
probably one of the hardestworking guys that ever met.
He never missed a day at workand I could tell that he just
really was dissatisfied withlife.
He comes home and he takes hisboots off and you could just
tell that.
He's just like, man, this is mylife, and he loved us the best
he could and.
But there's just so much goingon in his personal life his own

(02:29):
personal life in his head and inhis heart that he just didn't
know how to express that and sothere was a little bit of
disconnect between him loving usand being there for us, his old,
traditional way you know howHispanics are, right?
They provide.
That's how they show they loveyou.
Absolutely.
Hey, dad.
Tell me you love me.
I put a root for your head and Iput food in your belly.

(02:51):
That, if that doesn't tell youlove, Then I don't know what
else is going to tell you.
So that was his role.
And my mom, she was just, thebest way I could explain my mom
is very chaotic and spastic andjust all over the place.
You know, and she loved us withall our heart.
But there was just, she had alot of things she was dealing
with that really became abarricade to us fully having our

(03:15):
mom there.
Okay.
So I know you come from a NativeAmerican background, which is
your mom.
Yeah.
So can you tell us a little bitabout that?
I know that my mom looksstraight up Indian.
If you look at her, I don't, Ilook like I'm Italian or
Persian.
Persians even think I'm Persian,right?
They come up to me and startspeaking Farsi and they get mad
at me when I tell them I don'tspeak Farsi, right?
But my mom looks dead on NativeAmerican Indian.

(03:38):
She grew up on the reservation.
My grandma was part of thetribal council for the
Waluulapam.
I tribe out there in Yuma,Arizona.
But other than that, I don'tknow too much.
I have paperwork from the tribalcouncil that states that my
grandma was part of it.
But as far as history goes frommy mom's side.
I don't know because my mom leftthe reservation when she was 13

(03:59):
years old due to her beingabused by her dad.
So I never met my grandpa.
She didn't want us to know ourgrandfather because he used to
sexually abuse her, multipletimes.
So much so that she felt she hadto leave and run away.
And so that's all I know abouther upbringing.
Okay, And then your dad'supbringing, my dad's upbringing
is I know a little bit morebecause I know my uncles and my

(04:22):
cousins from my dad's side.
But my dad, he kept everythingclose to his chest.
He never really talked abouthimself growing up.
And a part of the reason is, andI think now that I'm older and I
understand life a little bitmore, I feel like what he was
trying to do is protect us.
I think that he felt, it's likewhen you, when people feel like,
if you talk about something,you're going to end up doing it,
right?
So let's not talk about this sothat way we prevent them from

(04:44):
doing that.
But wisdom now shows that if wetalk about it, it helps guide
and direct us and it helps ushave conversation, engage with
things that we as parents don'twant our kids to do.
So our dad didn't really want usinvolved in gangs and things
that he was involved in.
So he just was easier to nottalk about how he grew up.
But what information I gatheredfrom my uncles and some from my

(05:05):
dad is that he grew up.
In East San Jose right there.
I don't know if you know whereEastridge is that but.
I do.
Eastridge There's an area calledMeadow Fair barrio Meadow Fair.
That's my dad's hood.
They were one of the originalfirst generations of barrio
Meadow Fair.
So my uncle Art my uncle Peteall them.
They all started that area.
So that's where my dad grew up,my grandpa.

(05:27):
I very seldomly saw him becausemy dad wanted to keep us
separated from him because theway they grew up and the
lifestyle that they lived.
So my dad growing up, he didn'treally share a lot about his
upbringing.
I just knew that it was roughand that there were some things
that happened that caused him toseparate himself from his dad

(05:47):
and his brothers.
Okay.
So what was your relationshiplike with your parents growing
up?
Yeah, my relationship with myparents is, I loved them.
They love me.
I love my dad.
I love my mom.
And when you're in a circle ofchaos, you just figure that's
how life is.
You figure that's how allfamilies function.
That's your perspective.
Cause that's all you know.

(06:07):
You figure that's how you growup.
When I grew up, I'm like, that'show everyone lives their life,
right?
Everyone's mom's an addict andeveryone's dad grew up like this
and we all, you know, that's howwe grew up.
I didn't know any different.
I didn't know that it wasdysfunctional, shall we say, for
lack of a better term.
My relationship with my parentsis I loved them very much.
I loved them a lot, actually.
Okay, How many siblings did youhave?

(06:27):
Well, let me see.
I have two sisters and, threebrothers.
One of them is our stepbrother,and he didn't really grow up
with us.
My mom had a previousrelationship from another guy,
and my mom was really addictedto heroin at that time.
Okay.
She had a good friend thatadopted him at that time while
my mom was trying to get clean.
But when my mom actually gotclean and she tried to get back

(06:49):
her son The lady took her tocourt and took him from her
right?
And so technically there's fourboys and two girls, but one of
our brothers never really grewup with us What number are you
I'm the second eldest, but Ialways say second eldest, but
acting oldest, because my olderbrother technically wasn't with
us.
So I was the acting eldestbrother.

(07:09):
Okay.
Right on.
Wait, can I ask you a question?
Is that okay?
Yes, absolutely.
Where does Luckee come from?
What is that?
I have to know.
I've been like, it's been, I wasin a biker.
group.
Uh huh.
And so that was my street name.
Nice.
Actually, it was Luckee Fucker.
Yes.
See, I knew it.

(07:30):
I'm like the only, cause youknow, growing up in the streets,
you get nicknames for a certainreason.
Right.
There's a story tied to that.
Absolutely.
That's what I want to know.
I'm like, okay, she I'll let youknow the story someday.
Something happened that she waslike That she is Luckee and
that's just I just made itcleaner and just call myself
Luckee now.

(07:51):
You can be like Luckee MF er.
It's clean.
They call us the fuckers, ourfamily.
That's funny.
Instead of the fockers.
That's funny, okay, So let's getinto the crime portion of the
family.
What you grew up in and how youstayed out of it.

(08:13):
Yeah, 50, 000 feet overview wasfrom my understanding is my
grandfather who was from Mexicoand he was in the army there.
He boxed in Mexico.
So he had some connections inMexico.
I don't know all theconnections, but this is the
spotty story that I got from myuncles and my cousins and things
like that.
But he came, illegally to theUnited States, California.

(08:34):
But then he wanted his Americancitizenship.
So he went back, did all thepaperwork, came back as an
American citizen, moved to EastSan Jose.
He still has a house.
He's not alive anymore, but thathouse, is still there on
Regaletto Street in East SanJose.
But he, they moved there and, hewas involved in the heroin trade
business.
So I think it was lateseventies, early eighties, there
was three main families in SanJose dealing.

(08:56):
They were dealing differenttypes.
There was a family that dealtcocaine.
There was a family that dealtmethamphetamines and there was a
family that dealt heroin.
Okay.
I don't know the other family,my cousin was telling me this
the other day.
But the one of the otherfamilies is the Farfan family.
They're still there in South SanJose.
I don't know them.
We actually, when we moved toSeven Trees, they lived behind
us.
So I knew some of the youngergeneration of the Farfans cause
they went to middle school withus.

(09:17):
But then there was my family,the Mendoza family, and they
strictly dealt with heroin andthe Farfans and Mendozas.
They didn't really get along toomuch because they were dealing
you know, things.
So this is just my understandingwhat I heard.
My grandpa, he was dealingheroin and he had sons.
And so the sons all dealtheroin.
So my dad was a heroin dealer.
My uncles were heroin dealers.
So all of them dealt heroin.

(09:37):
And so that was the familybusiness growing up.
And that's how, the family wasrun.
And that's one of the reasonswhy my dad didn't want it really
to associate with his dadanymore.
Okay.
And you said, at age 13 thatyour mom took you to church and
what was that experience likefor you and you were baptized,
correct?
Yeah, I, to this day, I stillhave the picture.

(09:58):
My wife keeps it around becauseit's a great memory and sorry if
I start to get a littleemotional, but it's a, it's one
of the most genuine and preciousmemories I have in my brain.
And it reminds me every day ofhow much That there is a God
that loves people like myself,like all of us.

(10:21):
So my mom and we're doing abrief overview, but my mom was
probably one of the craziestpeople I ever met in my whole
life.
She's the first person ever.
The first time I saw somebodyalmost get shot and killed.
Was my mom almost shoot and killsomebody the first time I see
somebody OD was my mom right atthe age of 10 I saw her OD.
She said she didn't want to liveanymore.

(10:42):
She hated her life She hated usand just took a whole and just
and died.
She was in a coma for threemonths Oh, and so my mom was
probably the most and I hate tosay this time because it's just
such cliche But the mostgangster person I ever met.
My dad was hardcore, but my mom,she was crazy.
And, and I don't mean thatdisrespectfully, it's just the
truth.
And people Respected my mom.

(11:04):
They feared her because shedidn't care.
She just go we'd be at thegrocery store And if somebody
didn't like the way that she wastalking she'd beat the crap out
of him right there I've seen herpull out people from their car
like someone cut her off onetime literally we're in a
station My mom drove around thisbeat up station wagon All in
east san jose right there offTulley and King and I remember
one time this lady cut her off.

(11:25):
She, there's a stoplight thatshe gets out of the car and she
pulls the lady out of the carand just starts beating the crap
out of her.
Wow.
Yeah.
And so my mom was this lady thatshe was very hard to approach.
But there was this little oldlady named Mary.
I love this lady to deathbecause she had a white poodle.
We grew up in Seven Trees.
Seven Trees was pretty hood inthe nineties.

(11:46):
It's pretty dangerous, but shewould walk her little poodle
around the, and everybody knewher.
So everybody looked out for her,but she would go around and tell
people like us as we're growingup and we're little hoodlums
that Jesus loved us, that hecared for us.
They loved us.
And he taught, and she wouldtalk to my mom and it tripped me
out because my mom didn't listento anybody.
But for some reason, this lady.
Captivated my mom and my momwould always listen to her and

(12:09):
this lady would tell my momabout God and said that God
loves her and so she convincedmy mom to go to church one day.
And that was the only time I'veever seen my mom sober.
There was three years she wentto church and she was sober for
three years and she got us to goto church.
And yeah, and how amazing thatwas that.
And she got my dad to go tochurch.
And my dad was a very hateful,spiteful person.

(12:29):
When he got out of prison.
He hated anyone that was aMexican or anyone from his side
of town, so he would get into alot of fights.
We'd be driving, he'd get intofights with people.
But he went to church one day,and God really changed and
transformed his life to thatpoint on.
He never went back to his oldlifestyle.
He gave up.
Everything.
Wow.
And so when we went to churchand I saw these people and there

(12:50):
were, there's no reason whythese white people should love
us, right?
Because they were in the hoodand there's this little white
church, this little BaptistChurch.
It's not there anymore,unfortunately.
Right in seven trees.
But these people took us in andwe looked.
Grubby.
like holes.
My mom used to cut my hair.
So you can imagine what I looklike, right?
Like bowl haircut.
It was brutal.
Okay.
I look back at my, somebody, I'mlike, dang, hide those pictures.

(13:12):
Cause that is brutal.
But we came in looking homelyand those people just loved us.
And I remember the preacher waspreaching a sermon and at 12
years old, 12 or 13 years old, Ijust remember thinking to
myself, like whoever this Jesusis that they're talking about, I
got to get to know him.
Because he's real, because theway they talk about him is real,

(13:33):
but not only that, why wouldthey love me so much?
These people have no reason tolove me.
They have no skin in the game.
Matter of fact, we can bedetrimental to them.
We're dangerous to them.
My mom's dangerous to them.
We're dangerous people to them.
We could destroy a lot of thingsin life, especially my mom.
But they still loved us.
Wow.
And so what is that about?
And that's when I was like, youknow what, I don't know if

(13:54):
you're real or not God, but Iwant to ask you in my heart and
that you in my life, becauseyou've changed their life.
There's something here.
So yeah, that was my experienceat church and it always stuck
with me ever since I was 13,even to this day.
Wow.
Beautiful.
That's beautiful.
Yeah.
How did, faith play a role inyour mindset?

(14:15):
At that time, faith played arole all the time even to this
present time, because after thatmoment, when I gave my life to
Christ, like I kept going tochurch, but because my home
environment changed, my momstopped going to church and we
weren't really required to go tochurch.
I started getting a little bitolder, 14, 15, 16.

(14:37):
And my dad moved away from beingthis authoritarian type, like
I'm going to beat the crap outof you if you don't listen to us
type.
Because I was scared of my dad.
My dad, we'd have fights in themiddle of the front room and it
was brutal.
He would beat us, but he movedbecause when he gave his life
over to Christ, that's I waslike, this God got to be real
because this guy went from, Hey.
You better do what I say oryou're going to get hurt from

(14:58):
I'm not going to hit you guysanymore I love you guys So when
he took the pedal off the metalshall we say from?
From being, you know, that typeof parent, we kind of were like,
Oh, we get to do whatever wewant.
We do whatever we want.
We could be, we don't have to goto church anymore.
So that's what I did.
We just ran around in thestreets and did whatever we
want.
But in the back of my mind, whenI was doing things, I would

(15:19):
always have this thought in mymind, man.
God, what I was told and taughtand what I understood at the
time is God does love me.
And what am I doing?
I'm just running.
And all I'm doing is, I'm doingall this bad stuff and I'm like,
God, are you gonna, you gonnacome after me later?
So the whole time I was doinganything, I was like, man, God,
I better ask for forgivenessBecause I did something bad,
right?
So faith always played a role inmy life.

(15:40):
Even when I was out there doingthe worst stuff in my life.
It always was there.
Stuck with me.
It was a seed that just, thatwas never uprooted.
It just sat there.
And it was like, I didn't putany water on it, but it was
still there.
Right.
It was a great influence to you.
Yeah.
Okay.
Were there any other positiverole models, in your life
growing up?

(16:00):
Yeah, in my life growing up,There's a couple role models,
positive role models.
There was a neighbor and that'swhy I always go back to faith in
God because we had a neighbor.
His name was Tom Tomasello,Kathy Tomasello.
And they're probably the whitestpeople you'll ever meet.
It's like they moved from Maburyto the hood.
And it was like, why would theymove next door to us?

(16:21):
But let me tell you, they loveGod.
There's a church out here calledCathedral Faith.
I don't know if you've ever seenit.
But it's an old school church.
It's been in San Jose.
It's like a staple in San Jose.
Most people have aunts or unclesthat used to go to Cathedral
Faith.
But he happened to be the pianoand music director for Cathedral
Faith, so he loves God, him andhis wife, man, they just loved
us, like, when I think of afamily, when I was growing up,

(16:42):
I'm like, that's what I want myfamily to be like, I didn't know
family could be like that, I'mlooking at, it was a stark
contrast.
Like he, they live next door andI would have one foot here and
one foot here.
And I'm like, this is whatfamily should be like, but this
is the family I'm in.
And I want to be on this side ofthe family.
And they wanted us there.
The crazy thing is like thesepeople at church love God and
then these neighbors move in andthey love God and they like.

(17:04):
And we're grubby and we're crazyand they loved us to death.
Like they took us in as theirown kids.
Like my mom would get locked upall the time.
Like she was always doingsomething, whether she was
assaulting somebody and the copswould come to the house.
The cops knew her.
The sheriff's knew her.
Everyone knew her.
I would drop my name.
Oh, your mom's so and How's shedoing?
I'm like, Oh, she's doing goodright now.
They're like, yeah, hopefullyshe stays out.

(17:24):
But, the neighbors loved us somuch and that's what I'm saying.
It's gotta be God because shewould see the cops come to the
house, the guy's wife, KathyTomasello, and she would come
running over because the onlyoption, my dad's not home,
they're going to take us to theshelter.
Yeah, and she didn't want thatto happen.
She didn't want that.
So she would say, Hey, I'm goingto take care of them.
I take care of them when themom's not here.

(17:45):
And she would take all six of usand take us to the house, give
us pizza.
And I'm talking about we weregrub.
By like holes and we just like,but she loved us and she cared
for us and her dad was amusician.
So he wrote music.
So we would stay in his garage.
He had all this music equipment.
He would let us go there andplay.
And yeah, it was cool.
So that, helped me out.

(18:06):
And that was a positive rolemodel in our lives.
As far as I think God was justplanting seeds of that's what
family looks like, Ben.
There is healthy families outthere.
This is what it looks like.
This is what love care lookslike.
This is how it should be.
And I think God brought thosepeople in our life to show us
love, to how to receive love.
Not that my parents didn't loveus, I think that it was just
showing us what a healthy familycould look like.

(18:29):
So those were some positive rolemodels in my life.
And then obviously.
Kiko, my cousin, I call him mycousin Kiko, but you know, I
grew up with them since i was10.
They were positive role modelsin my life, in the sense that
they took care of us and theyloved us like little brothers.
Okay.
Yeah.
Kept you out of trouble?
I don't know if they kept us outof trouble.
I think they protected us andthey watched over us.

(18:52):
They treated us like family andI never had an older brother.
They were my older brothers andthey looked out for us.
They loved us like, like theirbrothers.
Anybody mess with us, they werethere for us.
And then they try to take careof us the best they knew how to.
So they were positive rolemodels in that sense.
Okay.
Yeah.
So then, you stopped going toschool in your freshman year.

(19:12):
What led you to that decision?
One of the decisions was that Iwas dating someone and she got
pregnant.
And it was a little bit after myfreshman years about my
sophomore year ish.
That, I decided that I didn'twant to do school anymore.
I didn't know what to do.
So I just started getting a lotof trouble and I got kicked out
of like, I think six different,I went to Santa Teresa, Oak

(19:33):
Grove, Silver Creek, AndrewHill.
I went to Andrew Hill twice.
I went to CCLC.
So I got kicked out of all thesehigh schools within a year.
Then I meet, My daughter's mom,when she was cutting school, and
then we link up and then shegets pregnant, and so at that
time I'm like, I need to work.
I need to provide for mydaughter So I'm like I can't go

(19:53):
to school and provide for mydaughter at the same time and
her mom wanted us to have anabortion because they're like
you kids are too little.
To have kids and my parentsdidn't believe in that and I
said if I'm grown up.
If I'm a grown up to be doingthis stuff then I need to be a
grown up and take care of achild even though I didn't know
what the heck I was talkingabout.
Right.
But I knew that I took anexample from my dad, how he

(20:15):
worked hard and he took care ofus.
And I was like, I can do thattoo.
So I got two jobs.
I quit school and I just, Idropped out.
Plus another thing is I was ahigh risk student because I went
to juvenile hall when I was atAndrew Hill.
I got a charge assault with adeadly weapon.
There's some stuff going on inthe neighborhood and one of the
guys that we had beef with wasthere and we jumped and we beat
him up pretty good.

(20:36):
I got arrested for that assaultwith a deadly weapon.
So after that charge, and I wentto juvenile hall, no schools
would really accept me in thearea because I was a high risk
student.
And so that just furtherconfirmed, I don't need to be
going to school.
Wow.
Okay.
That completely took you out ofschool then?
Yeah.
Can you talk about your time injail?
What were you facing and whatwas your mindset?

(20:58):
So I know you said you had acouple.
Yeah.
Incidences.
Yeah.
I think growing up, I had noaspirations but to be a gangster
and I know that sounds reallycorny and cheesy, but that's the
truth.
From 11 years old, I was like,that's what I wanna be.
You know, Cuz we don't know morethan what our atmosphere or our
surroundings are at that age.
Like, when I grew up, everyonewas either hooked on drugs,
dealt drugs, went to prison, orwork construction, or went to

(21:22):
the military.
Those are the five options thatI saw around me constantly and
most people.
We're in the streets.
So my idea of a profession wasyeah I want to be in the streets
too and the people that got themost respect in my neighborhood
For the people that went toprison.
My uncle's went to prison.
My uncle's went to Pelican Bay Imean he did, 16 17 years in
Pelican Bay my other uncle ArtMendoza He was in and out of

(21:42):
prison for 17 18 years of hislife, right?
All right, my dad he went toprison So those people that are
always in the neighborhood thatpeople looked up to that revered
as somebody who's great were thepeople that went to prison and
got out of prison.
And that was the lifestyle thatwas for me.
That's where I was in.
So I'm like, that's going to bemy profession.
So there are steps to that,right?
I'm like, I'm going to go to thejuvenile hall, maybe CYA.

(22:03):
And then after that I graduateto jail and then from jail I go
to prison.
And so the first time I gotlocked up in juvenile hall, I
was like, I accomplished stepone.
I'm in juvenile hall and assaultwith a deadly weapon.
That's a pretty rough charge.
So they were looking, maybe Ipossibly sending me to CYA, but
it wasn't as severe as theythought.
So I was able to, get out, aftera month or two.

(22:24):
So then I was like, Hey, what'snext jail.
And that's exactly what Kiko'sbrothers told me when I turned
18, they said, Hey,congratulations.
Now you get to go to jail.
And so that's what led up tothat stent.
And that was my mind framegrowing up was.
Jail is just one of the part ofthe processes of me
accomplishing my professionalgoal and for lack of a better
term because I saw it as aprofession.

(22:45):
That's what fascinated me.
That's what I was passionateabout.
It was being in gangs and doingthat stuff.
So when I, first went to jailwas for possession of what they
charged me for was possession ofan illegal firearm.
But what they were trying togive me was with attempted
murder because there was asituation that happened and I
went into somebody's house witha sawed off shotgun and I was

(23:06):
going to go shoot the guy andthey never could charge me for
that because they didn't haveany witnesses.
Okay.
So yeah, that was my firststent.
Okay.
You mentioned about an olderinmate's words really stuck with
you.
What did he say that made animpact once you were in jail?
Yeah, I, we talked about thisbriefly.
I feel like I said, there'salways been a role of faith in

(23:27):
my life and I feel like God'shands, providential hand, right?
A provisional hand was alwaysover my life.
Even in those darkest moments, Ifeel like God was still
providing for me and people say,oh, there's angels and yeah, I
feel like I don't want to callhim an angel, but I feel like
there was something there withthat.
With that meeting because Inever saw the guy again but I
was up late one night and I wasjust looking out through the

(23:48):
bars of my cell and justThinking about things it was
probably one o'clock at nightand I was just sitting there and
this guy comes up He's olderwhat they call a veterano.
Oh, and he just comes to sitdown.
He's old.
He's probably 65 harmless And Iwas running the barracks at that
time, and, he's a no, becausehe's from another side of town,
but, people give him a passbecause he's old, he wasn't
harming anybody, he was more ofan addict than anything else, so

(24:10):
we talked, and we were justtalking, it was just me and him,
and he said, he said, what areyou doing?
I said, I'm just thinking, andhe said, what were you thinking
about?
I said, it's going to be mythird Birthday behind bars and
I'm probably going to missChristmas, so I'm going to miss
another Thanksgiving with mydaughter another Christmas with
my daughter Probably miss newyear's because I still have
about nine more months here Andhe said well, he said mijo and I

(24:32):
don't know but he called memijo.
He said let me tell yousomething He said Look at me.
I'm 65 years old Said I've beena heroin addict my whole life.
I said I have a son who I'm soproud of.
He's a marine He did everythingopposite of me and I'm so proud
of him and I want to tell himI'm proud of him and show him
That I love him, but he wantsnothing to do with me.
He said and I don't blame him.

(24:52):
He said because During his mostfundamental years of his life I
was gone.
I was doing my thing.
I was using.
I was gangbanging.
I was doing all this stuff.
And now he has nothing to dowith me.
And he said, so I want you tolook at me and I want you to
look at me like this is yourfuture.
And he says, if you want thiswhen you're 65, Ben, he said,

(25:15):
keep doing what you're doing.
You'll be here.
You'll be 65 years old.
He's I've been to most of thestate penitentiaries all up and
down California.
He says, this will be you.
He said, but if you look at me,Ben, and you don't want anything
close to my life, he said, thenyou need to do something about
it.
You need to figure out whatchange you want in your life and

(25:36):
make that happen.
And I think that's why likeyou're in, and I'm not trying to
go off the rail, but that's whyI think podcasts are so
important, especially whatyou're doing, because how many,
because podcasts are aboutconversations, right?
We have a conversation, right?
We are.
But what do conversations do?
They change our life.
They have our ability to changelife.
Look at the conversation withthat older lady and my mom,

(25:57):
right?
That had the power to change herlife, right?
And then it had a power tochange my dad's life.
It had a power to change mylife.
If it wasn't for that little oldlady, 89 years old, to be bold
enough to go there and share andhave a conversation with the
lady.
I would not be here today.
I would not be here today.
So the power of a conversation,man.

(26:19):
What conversations have led youto this point, right?
Of your life.
What are the conversations thatgot you here?
Was there conversations?
There were conversations, justmeeting people and hearing their
story, right?
And it's even your listeners,like your listeners should take
the time moment to reflect thepower of conversations, what
they have.
So that conversation with thatguy.

(26:40):
Really changed my perspective.
It didn't change my life, but itchanged my perspective.
Yeah, okay That is fair.
That is awesome.
And I do believe in God's handand angels.
So yeah, okay, so then we'regood.
I'm not sounding crazy.
no.
Okay, Ben, let's talk about thenight you were nearly killed.

(27:02):
What happened?
Yeah, that night was aninteresting night.
There's a lot of things thatlead up to that night.
And just me personally, I wasdealing with a lot of stuff at
that time in my life.
I really wanted a lot for mylife from going back to that
moment in jail and that guyhelped change my perspective on
maybe what I should do in mylife, trying to go to school,
had to go back and get my GED.

(27:24):
That moment changed my life.
That conversation changed mylife in the sense that it gave
me a direction when I didn'thave before.
But I was still dealing with allmy hurts and wounds from growing
up in my past and still.
It was still hard to give thatup, I still liked getting in
into fights and trouble and so Ihave a When I got so I have a

(27:45):
son and a daughter they're bothfrom different moms.
So my daughter, she was bornwhen I was 16,17 and then my
son, I met, I actually used todate his mom when we were in
high school or that high schoolage.
Then we stopped dating and thenI saw her again when I was 20.
Okay.
And then so we got back togetherand then she ended up getting

(28:05):
pregnant and so she has family.
She has family all in Modesto.
So I became really good familywith her family in Modesto.
So I would go hang out inModesto all the time.
She has a cousin or her cousinwas married to this guy, Troy,
and he was just like me, grew upin the streets, his mom, same
kind of mom.
He was in and out of prison.

(28:25):
And so we just clicked and hitit right off.
And he became one of my bestfriends.
Like we hung out, I'll go toModesto, hang out.
And we would just do a wholebunch of stuff as far as getting
into fights.
We were still hood, right?
Like everywhere we went, it wasjust me and him.
He was my boy.
So I was like, if we always hadthis saying.
It doesn't matter what you do,you could be wrong, but you're
still right.
Because no matter where we go,you're always right.

(28:48):
If we get into a fight, you'reright.
It was justified because we'regonna ride no matter what.
If people have a problem withus, we're justified, because
you're always right in my eyes.
So no matter where we went, wegot into a lot of trouble
because of that.
We fought a lot of people getinto a lot of fights, but so we
hung out a lot.
And and he had nephews andcousins that were there, so we
had our own little gang inModesto that we'd always hang
out with and chill with, and.

(29:09):
One night we were just having aparty and, they had drugs, but
everybody ran out of drugs.
So he knew someone in that areaand they were like, Hey, Troy,
just go hit up your boy.
And he said, let's keep theparty going.
So I said, all So he said, Heycousin, can you come with me?
Cause he trusted nobody but me.
He knew that if stuff goes down,I'm going to be right there.
No matter how many people are,we're going to back all the

(29:31):
time.
And it could just be me and him.
So I said, come with me becauseI said, yeah, sure.
I'll go with you.
But before we leave, he sayssomething very distinctive.
He says, Hey, should I bring my45?
So why do you what I was alittle puzzled, right?
I was like, why do you need tobring a gun?
If these are your friends and Ishould have already known right
there when you ask thatquestion, right?

(29:52):
Like that's a little sketch,right?
If we're going somewhere, hey,we're going to go look a story.
Should I bring my gun though?
It's like, yeah.
What are we doing here?
So that's what happened.
I said, I didn't really think ofanything.
I said, no, why are you going tobring a gun?
We're going to your boy's house.
This is, these are people.
He said, yeah, you know what?
You're right.
I'm just tripping.
That's what he told me.
He said, I'm just tripping.
Let's go.
So we get in the car and it'sabout two o'clock at night and

(30:14):
we go, we're going to the westside of Modesto.
Now, if you don't know Modesto,west side is hood.
Like it is east San Jose andwest San Jose all put in one.
So it's 2 a.
m.
Yeah.
It's 2 a.
m.
and he's in an area calledEmpire.
Empire is pretty hood.
I don't know how it is now, butwhen I was growing up, when I
lived in that area, I lived inthat area very briefly at a
called the Paradise Apartments,which is not paradise.
I'll tell you, stay away fromparadise, not paradise, but it's

(30:36):
around that area.
So I'm like, this area is prettyhood.
I knew where we're going and wepull up and there's a whole,
there's probably like 20 or 30people hanging out in the front
yard.
And in the garage and they'rechilling and the moment we pull
up, it was all bad.
Like I get out of the car, hegets up and they come running
over to us, rushed us almost.
And they separate us.
I'm backing up, he's backing upand they both encircle us and

(30:59):
they're hitting me up.
Hey, where are you from?
What are you doing here?
Blah, blah, blah.
And I told them, look, I'm fromSan Jo.
I started telling them where I'mfrom, started giving them what
they were giving me.
I'm telling him, Hey, we're justhere to see.
So-and-so's cousin say we don'tknow him.
He don't live here.
Which is not true.
They're just, they were justsaying that.
Yeah.
And so the moment was prettyheated, so I said, you know

(31:19):
what?
These people aren't gonna hearme.
I told'em, Hey, if you got aproblem, then we can handle
this.
Let's do it.
Let's go, let's do with this.
And, but what I didn't see,because I was walking, backing
up a little bit to make sure Igot good footing, so that way
there wasn't too many peoplearound me.
I was trying to position myselfproperly, because I was doing
Jiu Jitsu at the time.
But there was this guy standingin the, in the corner a little

(31:40):
bit, and I noticed him, and thenall of a sudden all the guys
backed off, and he squared upwith me.
He was probably about, maybefrom where I'm at to where
you're at, maybe a little bit, acouple feet back.
Yeah.
And he pulls out a gun.
And he points it at me and Ijust, at that moment, I didn't
really care at that moment in mylife.
I was trying to do good, but Ialso didn't really care for

(32:01):
life.
You know, I didn't, I wasn't, Ihad this weird philosophy that,
you know.
If you commit suicide becauseyou know you hear a Catholic say
it all the time you're gonna goto hell.
So I'm like, I'll never commitsuicide, right?
I'm not gonna do that But eventhough I didn't care about
living I would just didn't wantto take my own life, right?
But if somebody else took mylife, I didn't really care like
somebody else could shoot me andI'll be fine with it.

(32:21):
So that's the mind frame that Iwas in and this guy pulls a gun
out I just laughed at him andtold him like what are you gonna
do with that?
You pull it, you better use it.
Because that was the mentalitywe grew up with, right?
I carried a sawed off shotgun inmy El Camino all day.
And that was the rule in ourneighborhood.
If you pull a gun, you bettershoot that person.
Right.
You don't pull a gun and playaround like that.
We don't gun play like that.
You pull it, you shoot.

(32:41):
So I told the guy like, eitherif you're gonna pull that gun,
you better use it.
And he, He wasn't expectingthat.
I don't think so.
Then he drops the gun and heshoots the gun off and it, I
felt the asphalt pick up, likeit kicked up cause he shot a
bullet right between my legs.
And, uh, that just kind oflaughed at him.
I just told him like, what areyou going to do?
If you were going to shoot me,you would have shot me.

(33:02):
Obviously you're not going toshoot me.
So I'm just going to go.
So I told my cousin, I was like,Hey, let's go.
I said, I don't know who theseguys are.
You said these are boys.
But they're obviously not yourboys.
They're a bunch of punks andlet's get out of here.
And so I walked around to my cardoor, the passenger seat car
door.
I opened it up, sat down and I'msitting there and I'm telling my

(33:24):
cousin like, Hey, let's go.
What are you doing?
Let's get out of here.
All of a sudden I see him atthe, on the hood and there's
guys that have them and theypush him on the hood and then
they put a gun to the back ofhis head.
And he later on tells me thatthey told him like, Hey, your
cousin's got a big mouth on him.
You're going to watch him dietonight.
So they said, you're going towatch him.
They put the gun to his head,lift up your head so you can

(33:46):
watch this.
And you're going to see whathappens when people come to our
neighborhood and disrespect us.
And so the guy comes around, theguy with the gun that kind of
gave me a warning shot.
He comes around to the driver'sside and he puts a gun to my
head.
And he says, Oh, you're real bigand may start talking trash,
basically.
I told him, Hey, we had thisdiscussion already, right?
You're not going to do anything.
You proved it a second ago.

(34:07):
You're not going to do anything.
I'm egging him on purpose.
And I said, you're not going todo anything if you were going to
do something.
So what are you doing?
You're wasting my time here.
And then he distinctively takesthe gun and smashes my mouth and
tells me to shut up.
Oh, he smashes your mouth?
And I was so mad at that moment.
I remember I was mad because hebroke my tooth.
My front tooth.

(34:27):
Like I felt it, like somethingbreaking.
I'm like, oh, you broke mytooth.
I was mad.
And I looked at him like, what?
Why would you do that?
There's a bunch of youngstersaround the car and he takes the
gun from my head and he pointsit at the youngsters there and
he says, Hey, this guy comesinto our neighborhood.
He disrespects every single oneof us.
And you guys better handle him.

(34:48):
If you don't handle him, guesswhat?
I'm going to shoot him and I'mshooting all of you.
You know, That those arechoices, right?
Two choices these guys can make.
They chose the right choice.
So we're going to beat this guyup.
So I don't blame him for that.
Yeah, they opened up the doorand they unloaded on me for
about I would say if five or 10minutes, they were kicking me,
punching.
They had two by fours.
They hit me a bats.

(35:09):
They broke some bottles over myhead.
They got me pretty good, right?
And I, and all I could do wasjust cover up and after a while
I was like, all right, you got,I yelled and said, hey, that's
enough.
I had enough.
You guys proved your point.
You guys are bad.
You guys are crazy.
You guys are all that.
We're done here.
And then that's all I rememberDid you get into the car or?

(35:32):
I was in the car still.
They didn't let me get out ofthe car.
So they were beating you up?
Yeah, because the car, they wereright around the car door.
So I wanted to push the car dooropen and just start taking off
on them.
But I was buckled in.
Safety first.
Moments like that.
You always got to be safe.
Got to have my seat belts on.
Can't be getting pulled over.
But, but they opened the door sofast.
I couldn't, and they juststarted hitting me.
So I was like, fine, whatever.

(35:53):
I'll just accept it.
I have a big mouth.
My mouth got me into this.
So I'll just take it.
It's fine with me, right?
So you were out and then youwoke up and then I woke up
because I just remember them Itell them okay, that's enough
That's it.
And I and that's it.
I just remember my eyes closedand waking up and there was just

(36:14):
blood everywhere.
Right.
I look at a cup.
I distinctly remember justlooking at there was a cup
holder, you know by the driverand I look in there and there's
just filled up with blood I'mlike, that's interesting.
But I thought that because theybeat me up, that's just me
leaking.
They beat me up pretty good.
Right.
So I'm like, and plus the guybroke my tooth, which I was
still upset about.
And I'm like, well, that's allthat is.
But then I distinctly rememberas my hearing started coming

(36:36):
back, I was still out of it.
And I looked, I saw the bloodand then I, Remember hearing
people saying, Hey, just get outof here, get out of here now.
And I just remember hearing thispanic voice in my cousin.
I've never heard this voice inhim ever.
Like the guy was on the yard, hewas in prison, he's been in
riots, right?
Things aren't going to be, but Iremember.

(36:57):
Hearing distinctively the stressin his voice saying I can't get
out of here I can't turn on thecar and he's trying to turn this
key and I remember getting madat him like dude What are we
still doing here?
Why aren't we gone?
And he's like I'm trying to goAnd this is a new Cadillac at
that time.
So there's no reason why thereshouldn't be any engine failure
or anything like that.

(37:17):
It was brand new.
It was someone else's car.
I felt bad for the person.
It was brand new.
And he's trying to, he's itwon't turn on.
It won't turn on.
And finally the car turns on.
And then all of a sudden I justhear just this boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom, like just 12shots.
And I just hear bullets whizzingby my head.
The windshield just shatters.
Stuff was just, glass was flyingeverywhere.
And my cousin just guzzed it.

(37:37):
And we just I still hear thegunshots going off.
And my cousin, he was tellingme, Hey, we gotta get you to the
hospital right now.
And I was like, no.
That's not what we're gonna do.
I was like, your friends?
Your friends.
I was mad at him.
I was like, these are yourfriends.
Your people that we, that youtook us to, they broke my tooth
and someone's going to pay forthat, right?
You were worried about yourtooth.
I was mad.

(37:58):
Yeah.
And to this day, He's not aliveanymore, unfortunately, my
cousin Troy, but we would laughat that because he said, man, of
all that, you were mad aboutyour tooth being broken.
But I was like, we're going tocall our boys up right now and
we're going to, we're going tocome back.
We're going to hit them.
Like they're going to pay forthis.
That guy especially is going topay for this.
I'm going to make them pay.
But, he said, okay, fine.
And then he took me to thehospital and I got really mad

(38:19):
when he took me to the hospitalbecause he ran.
He literally ran because Ididn't know I got shot.
He only knew I got shot.
And he didn't even, I don't eventhink he put the car in park.
It was still rolling a littlebit.
He jumped out as fast as hecould, ran to the emergency
room.
He grabbed a team of people andI remember, what is this guy
doing in there?
I got out of the car and I wasgoing to go yell at him.
You were still walking.
Yeah.
I was going to go yell at him.
And I saw him and there's a teamof people running to him like,

(38:40):
what are you doing?
We got something else to do.
Like, what are you doing here?
And they threw me on the bed andthey strapped me down and They
and that's when I found out theytold me like, hey, you need to
stay still and I said for whatand they're like you need to
stay still we're gonna make youstay still and They said we need
to find out Where you got shotat that's like shot.
I didn't get shot.
He's no you got shot, son And soyeah, then that's when I found I

(39:03):
got shot.
Wow.
Yeah and so they were telling methat I was like, I got shot.
I don't remember that.
And I said, where?
And they found the wound.
It was in the back of my, in theback of my neck, back of my
head.
I got shot.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
yeah.
And do you still, have the, Oh,yeah.
You said you I still have thescar.
If you ever look at the back ofmy neck, I have a big scar from

(39:24):
right here at the base of myneck.
And it goes all the way down.
About right here.
You can still see part of theshrapnel from the bullet right
here.
It's black one time I had topick a piece out because it came
out.
Yeah, but you can see the scarand the doctor said I'm pretty
lucky just one centi or milli, Ican't remember what's shorter,
centimeter, cause centi is athousand, milli, no, milli is a

(39:46):
million.
Anyways, we'll talk about thatlater.
One centimeter and onemillimeter closer, it would have
snapped my spine.
And there was a 45, so it's apretty big slug.
It is a big slug.
And the bullet never exited myarm.
So the doctor said, you'repretty lucky.
He's you don't even, the bulletdidn't even exit your arm.
It's still in my arm.
To this day, I still feel it.
It's right here.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
how did getting shot change theway you look at your life?

(40:09):
It didn't.
That's the sad part.
you would think you have anexperience.
So my, next to that otherphilosophy of not killing
myself, and this sounds reallyweird, but it's true.
This is the stuff that Ithought.
You know growing up you see somuch violence, right?
You see even with my mom and mydad There's just so much
violence around you all the timepeople getting shot all the

(40:29):
time.
Was regular.
There's people that I mean Kikocould tell you that we grew up
kids got shot people got shotthere's always stuff going on in
our neighborhood.
I mean it was seven trees.
It was hood.
You know, it was crime zone,right?
It was one of crime zone I meanwe got messed by the cops all
the time just walking down thestreet My first time I saw
somebody Also get a gun pulledon was my dad by the police pull
my pull guns out on me and mydad and when We're walking just

(40:50):
7 eleven because he says they hefit a description.
Oh wow., right, but it didn'tchange my life in the sense that
you think it would, it actually,I just thought of it, I always
thought that in those moments,you fantasize about death when
you grow up in that kind oflifestyle.
When you see so much violenceand you see that happen and
friends die, you experiencethat, you think, how am I going

(41:11):
to die?
Is somebody going to stab me?
Am I going to get beat up?
Is somebody going to run meover?
Am I going to get shot?
You start thinking about how areyou going to die and then how
are you going to handle that?
And my thought at that time, mylimited view perspective of life
and the world was, I'll haveenough time to say a prayer and
ask Jesus to forgive me and I'llgo to heaven.
Because even though that littleseed, that's what I mean, that

(41:32):
little seed was always stillplanted in my brain and it
always stuck with me and I said,I'll have enough time.
I can live my life the way Ilive it and at that moment of
death, I'll be able to look up,look death in the eye and ask
for forgiveness and I'll go toheaven.
And that's not true.
Because when I got shot, it wasso fast.
I didn't even realize ithappened.
And so you would think thatmoment changed my life and that

(41:54):
I would like, man, I'm going toturn a new leaf over.
It didn't.
I still kept spiraling, I wasworking in a professional
environment that helped me out alittle bit there's people there
that kind of helped me I saw adifferent part of the world as
far as like professional worldand that where I grew up is not
normal most people don't grow uplike that most people have
different experiences and Mineis a little bit unique in the

(42:19):
sense of their experience And soit, it honestly didn't really
change me.
It made things a little bitworse.
It compiled other wounds andhurts in my life is this is all
life has to offer me.
And that weighs on you.
It does.
That, that, that's, that getsyou to a point of and I remember
I had a conversation with God.
I was gonna end my life and itwas, I was, I think I was 30

(42:42):
years old.
Yeah.
I was 30 years old and I wasjust at my lowest point.
Here I am a dad of two kids.
I'm going to school, I'm tryingto finish hygiene school.
I wanted to go to school and Iwas trying, but it was such a
long process.
I didn't have a car.
I barely had a home to live in.
Kirby, who I own this gym with,me and him were on the same
path.
We had nowhere to go, and that'show jiu jitsu brings a lot of
this together is like he wasdoing jiu jitsu like I was.

(43:05):
And so he was pretty muchhomeless and I was pretty, and
he's like, man, we can pile ourmoney together and just scrape
it and we can find a place tolive.
So we have at least a roof overour heads, and that's what he
did.
But it was brutal.
And that, compiled with that,being a dad, not having a car,
barely having a place to live,can't provide for my kids, it
weighs on you mentally andspiritually, and you're like,
what good am I here?

(43:25):
What am I doing here?
There's nothing to this lifeexcept this.
I don't want it, so at 30 yearsold, I made a very conscious
decision.
It was like, if this is all lifehas to offer, I don't want to do
another 30 years like this.
This is way too much.
I'd rather just kill myself, getit over with and not have to
deal with any of this becausethis is brutal.

(43:46):
Yeah.
And that was it.
I told, and that's where theseeds of faith happen because I
remember having thisconversation with God.
And just saying, God, if I don'tknow if you exist, I feel like
you do because I've seenpeople's lives changed by you
and when they accept you intheir life, I see the change.
And I feel like I accepted youin my life when I was 13, but
things didn't change.

(44:07):
They changed in my life, but theenvironment didn't change.
So it's smothered that out.
It crushed that seed, right?
But it always stuck with me.
I said, so God, this is my lastplea to you.
If you're real God, if you'rereal.
I'm begging you right now.
I need you to intervene in mylife some way, some shape,
somehow.
Because if you do not intervenein my life, and this is what I
have to look forward to with mymom, with my dad, with my kids,

(44:30):
I don't want any part of it.
Life is, why would you put methrough this?
And so I said, so what I'masking for you, God, is I just
need a glimmer of hope.
I need just a little hope.
I just need you to give me somekind of peace in my heart and my
mind.
And if you do that, if you dothat, God.
I will give my life 100 percentto you and I will go talk about

(44:51):
you, I'll serve you 100 percentfor the rest of my life.
And I'm telling you, thatmoment, my perspective changed.
And I was like, there's hope,Ben, it's okay.
There's more to life than this.
And I tell my son all the time,I say, son, when we celebrate
and we go have dinners, I said,This moment might not have ever

(45:13):
happened.
When I talk to my wife, I tellher, we probably would have
never ever met.
These moments never would happenif it wasn't for that one
moment.
If it wasn't for God interveningin my life and speaking to me
and changing my heart, I wouldsay, son, you wouldn't have a
dad right now.
You wouldn't have a dad.
You would have never reallyknown me.

(45:35):
You would be doing this all onyour own.
And I am thankful to God everyday of my life for that.
Because our past and our traumacould really haunt us and we
carry it around like it's ourbest friend, but it's our worst
enemy and it affects everydecision that we make in our
life.
And that's what was going on inmy life at that moment.

(45:57):
Like you said, did getting shotchange your life?
No, because all it did was addmore chains to that luggage and
more weight to that luggage oflife.
Is not great and that's what Ifeel personally.
This is my personal perspectivePeople could disagree or agree
with me.
That's fine.
But this is what I feel.
That there is a spiritualcontext to our life and the one

(46:20):
that runs that one, there's anenemy to all our lives.
And he wants us to get to thatpoint because all we are numbers
and the more numbers he takeswith them, the better.
And with God, we're a name andhe knows us by name.
And that's what I felt like thisspiritual attack on my life.
That's always been there.
It's a stronghold that startedwith my mom, maybe with her
grandmother, and it's alwaysbeen there.

(46:41):
And that person.
Has had a hold on our family andthere's a crossroad was like
Either i'm going to be anothervictim of that or i'm going to
be set free And I was set freeand to that moment.
There's a trajectory.
There's a pinpoint in thatmoment where the Mendoza family
Went from being a number tobeing a name and I told him I

(47:02):
texted my wife this the otherday Because I sometimes you were
M's or C's and she's a Mendoza,right?
She's part of the family and Isaid I feel like you're part of
God's Previdential care over mylife because you have changed
this last name into somethinglike we're not a number anymore.
We're not a part of thisstronghold anymore.

(47:22):
We're not going to be victims tothis anymore.
Now we're a name.
And when our grandkids lookback, they can say, how did this
happen?
And they can look back to thatmoment and say, God's always
been over their life and he'staken care of us and blessed us
and made this moment happen inour life.
And I told her, God allowed youto be in my life.
I feel like you're God'sphysical, tangible love over my

(47:43):
life.
Every day I'm reminded that Godloves me because you were in my
life and you helped made thislife.
So much better that moment on myperspective changed so much life
wasn't bad life wasn't harshThere's bad things that happen
in life, but it wasn't how it'show I saw it here And now i'm
thankful for every dayeverything.

(48:04):
I got these meetings.
We have the conversations wehave having this all this stuff.
It's like I'm so grateful.
So, to bring that all back towhat you said, how did it change
my life being shot?
It didn't.
It actually made it a lot worse,but what I just said, if we can
add that to that, it did changemy life in the sense that it
brought me to a moment where itbrought me peace and freedom.

(48:27):
Absolutely.
So it did, actually.
maybe I contradicted myself.
I think I did.
Thank God to that.
Yeah.
Okay.
What was the toughest part abouttransitioning from the streets
to professional life?
I think your own self shame.
Because the way one of mybiggest prayers in life when I
started changing my life wasGod, help me see myself the way

(48:49):
that you see me, you know,because the way I see myself
every day, it's not great.
I see a loser.
I see a unfit dad.
I see a dad that made a lot ofmistakes.
I see a son that hurt hisparents a lot.
I see all these things that arenegative and bad.
So God, I need a differentperspective.
I need to see you.

(49:09):
I need to see myself the way yousee me.
And so when.
that changed from the streets ofprofessional life.
It was hard because I lookeddown on myself a lot.
I was very ashamed of mylifestyle, I was very ashamed of
how I grew up.
I started working in Los AltosHills, I don't know if you know
what's that, but Los Altos Hillsis a very affluent area, right?

(49:29):
And I even worked in Menlo Park,which is even wealthier than
Palo Alto, which is crazy, but,but they're all within a similar
context.
The first time I started workingat a dental office I had
tattoos, all this stuff, right?
And I had tattoos on my fingersand everything.
I had tattoos here.
And these people have never seenthat.
I'm an outsider here, right?
I'm assisting the doctor andthey would always ask me

(49:49):
questions.
Hey, what does that tattoo mean?
Why do you have Mendoza here?
Why do you have this here?
And I was embarrassed becausethese people are professionals,
have a lot of money, and theirkids go to college.
I was not normal there.
So, trying to accept how I grewup and the actions I chose in my
life and understand that's justpart of my biography.

(50:10):
It doesn't set out my eternity.
that was tough at first.
It was very hard.
I had a lot of self doubt.
Had I was ashamed of a lot.
I didn't talk a lot about mypast.
I didn't do any of that becauseI was so ashamed of myself.
So yeah, transitioning to thatwas hard, but it also pushed me
too, because.
It lets me know that if I workhard, I can achieve certain
things like that.

(50:31):
And it might not be at the samelevel of these people, but it
did help influence me to belike, but that's what I want.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Cause I would ask them, I wouldask them tons of questions.
I'll say, what does your son do?
How do you do that?
I didn't know about college.
I had to learn from people causemy parents never to go.
So I had to learn from them.
So at first it was hard and Iwas a little ashamed, but the
second part was like, I canlearn too.

(50:52):
I'm here with them.
So I can ask questions just likethey're asking questions.
So I asked tons of questions,and I learned.
And I might not ever reach thelevel of success, but to me, I
am successful.
So getting over that shame andthat embarrassment was probably
the hardest part.
But once I did that, I was like,Oh, that is a strength, though.
Because I'm here with them,right?
I'm right next to them like ourpaths cross So they're not

(51:15):
better than they might have moremoney than me But it doesn't
make them better than me becausethey still need me for a
service.
So I'm here with them.
Exactly Yeah, What did you getinto that?
Helped you succeed.
I remember and this is gonnasound corny as heck, but it's
the truth I remember seeing acommercial for Carrington
College.
Do you remember that school?
It was like a trade school.
Okay, but It was for dentalassisting and like medical, I'm

(51:39):
like, man.
Like, whenever you see peoplewear scrubs, they look
important.
You're right.
And that's what I thought.
I was like, I want to lookimportant.
I always want to look important.
All of us want with men.
It's all about a lot of ourdriving, motivating factors is
significance.
We want to do things that makeus significance because in that
gives us security and I'm not apsychologist.
I'm just saying that this is myown personal perspective.

(51:59):
So in that, when I saw thatcommercial, I'm like, scrubs
make me make people looksignificant.
I want scrubs because that'sgoing to make me look
significant.
So I signed up for literally offa commercial.
I called the school.
I'm like, Hey, I want to go.
I want to be a dental assistant.
And I remember going to schooland coming back to the
neighborhood with my school andpeople were like, Oh dang, what
are you a doctor?
I'm like, yeah, see, this isworking.
Like it, it works.

(52:21):
And then I like drove headfirstinto that school and started
doing dental assisting.
And I did felt.
Significant for a brief momentin time and so that's what got
me into the dental field believeit or not And I did working in
the dental field and I was like,huh?
I can actually do somethingdifferent than construction.
I can actually do somethingdifferent than dealing drugs I
can actually do somethingdifferent than going to prison
like there's an option here.

(52:41):
I didn't know that.
Great.
Yeah.
So then, you also transitionedto being a hygienist?
Yeah.
Because I started to understandthat there's levels to
everything.
Even when I started working inthose offices, like these people
are on different levels, right?
And same thing in any field ofprofessional work, we want to
work up to different levels.
So I was assisting and I wasdoing better than.

(53:02):
Most of my friends at that time,I was working, I think I was
like 19 and I had a brand newcar like this.
I worked with this one doctor.
He was paying me good money justbecause we worked all the time.
So we'd always give me like 200bucks the other night.
So I was doing good for myself.
I was happy with myself.
But then I started figuring outlike.
The money I was making comparedto other money wasn't as much as
I thought it was.
So then I'm like, okay, how canI do more?

(53:23):
So then I talked to one of theother people, there was a
dentist and hygienist there, andI talked to both of them and
said, okay, what do you have todo?
So I just started figuring thatout on my own, okay, what do I
want to do?
And then I really had to sitdown and assess my, where I was
at in life and can I affordcertain things?
And to this day, that's the onething that I forgave myself for,
but I kicked myself for it, too,because I wanted to start out
going to dental school.
But then I assessed mysituation, I have two kids, I

(53:45):
don't have a home, I'm livingwith my father in law, right?
And so I had to do what was thecheapest, fastest, and shortest
thing to get us to that nextlevel of income, and that's what
I did.
I'm like, hygiene school is only4 years, dental school is 8
years, and dental school is like450, 000, hygiene school is 30,
000, and then I can still make Xamount of dollars, it's a no

(54:06):
brainer.
Yeah, that's what got me intohygiene.
Okay, Ben.
when did you first discover jiujitsu?
Oh, it was back in 2005.
Wait, can I say something?
Is that okay?
Sure.
Yeah.
you should call your podcastLuckee's Lounge.
I feel like Luckee's Lounge.
It's cool.
It's calm.
It's mellow.
I feel relaxed.
Good.
I'm glad.
You do a great job.

(54:26):
I just wanted to add that inthere.
Okay.
Luckee's Lounge.
I like it.
Just go chill.
Luckee's Lounge.
Hang out.
Let's talk.
Yeah.
I'm pretty chill.
You are.
I think you lead very well.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Okay, Let's go.
So 2005 is when I firstdiscovered Jiu Jitsu, I remember
I did a little boxing.
So my first marriage with myson's mom, she had a cousin

(54:48):
named Mo and a lot of peopleknow Mo and Claudio's or the
first Jiu Jitsu school we wentto.
But, um, We would always hangout.
He was like my best friendbecause he lived in the house
with us.
We all lived at, my wife's, myex father in law's house.
He had a big house.
Down the street from here.
It's crazy.
He literally, we, on PrincetonDrive right here, that's where
his house is.
It used to be.
It used to be.

(55:08):
And that's where my son grew upand that's where we lived for
many years.
So we would always hang out andtalk and, UFC was starting to
come up and we would always talklike, oh, we should go do
something like that.
So he got into boxing.
So he started going to PALboxing around 2000.
This is probably like 2003 andhe's come with me.
So we started going to PALboxing over there in Santa
Clara, right there by SantaClara University of Benton, and

(55:30):
I was like, Oh, this is cool.
I thought I was tough because Icould box, I could throw hands
like, and growing up, you'relike, yeah, we all want to fight
and know how to fight.
So I thought it was a tough guy.
And around 2005 we're hangingout at a party with some friends
and there was this guy namedNate and He was talking about
Jiu Jitsu and how he went to JiuJitsu and he trained at this gym
called Claudio's and so he's youshould come check it out And so

(55:53):
my cousin Mo, we were alreadydeciding, okay, we're doing
boxing, we're watching UFC, weneed to know more than boxing,
so let's go to, let's find a jiujitsu gym.
So there was no real jiu jitsugyms here back in 2005.
There was Claudio Francas, whohad a small jiu jitsu spot not
too far from here in South SanJose.
And, you had A.
K.
A.
And then I think Dave Camarillo,because Dave Camarillo has been
here for a while.
He had a small school going atthat time.

(56:15):
So I think those were the onlythree options at that time.
But because I knew that guy fromNate and he recommended
Claudio's, that's where I went.
So we went there, me and mycousin, and the first day, I
fell in love.
Because I was like, I thought Iwas tough.
I could throw hands.
We're good.
And I would test it all thetime.
We'd go out to parties, and we'dfight all the time.
And I'd be like, yeah, my handsare good.
But then I went to my firstclass in jiu jitsu, and I just

(56:36):
got beat And I was like, I needto learn this.
Forget boxing.
I ain't doing boxing anymore.
I'm doing Jiu Jitsu.
And yeah, that's how I startedJiu Jitsu.
And it was a small littleschool, literally small.
I think it was like probably 200square feet of mat, but.
Is it the one by Campbell?
the smaller, I think it was by abreakfast place, right?

(56:56):
I remember going there.
Yeah.
So that's across the street.
So there was a smaller, there'sa bar across the street from
that place and there's a littleflooring store that had a little
floor, showroom and that's wherethe first one started and then
they moved across the street.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sounds good.
Yeah.
What was training like in thoseearly days?
Brutal.
Let me tell you, it was like,you remember that old, Tina

(57:17):
Turner movie?
What was it?
What, which one was that?
Was there like Thunderdome?
That's exactly what it was like.
It was like two men enter oneman.
Leave.
It was like, you walk in,everybody's like chopping, like
sharpening their knives.
They're like, they're ready toeat.
Cause it was like, we're goingto test their metal today.
We're going to see who thatperson is.
So you walk in there, you knewthat you were going to train and
train hard and it was going tobe the worst.

(57:40):
Hour half of your life and atthat time Carlos Melo was a
purple belt, but he ran the mostbrutal training sessions ever
His stuff was legendary likeeveryone knew when Carlos taught
you were gonna.
Yeah, you're probably you're onthat line of dying You're like
right there.
You're on that edge.
Cuz she would push you I know Ihear Stan tell me stories about

(58:02):
Carlos and way back in thosedays, Stan Hendricks, a legend
out here.
I think people like, I thinkit's sad a little bit because
you got guys like Stan Hendrick.
You guys got guys like GarthTaylor and Santa Cruz.
You guys got guys like MikeWeaver, who's in Santa Cruz.
You got guys like, Carlos Melo,like Tyson Camp.
You got these legends that areout here.

(58:23):
They were dope.
And I feel like people don'ttalk about them.
And I think it's sad becausewhen I was growing up, those
were the guys.
They were dope.
I was like, man, I want to belike them.
Yeah.
Guys like Paul Schreiner.
There's some legit people here.
You talked about, Carlos Melo,you saw him as a hero.
I did.
He, he kind of took me under hiswing.
I remember him and my cousinMoe.

(58:44):
My cousin Moe was crazy.
Everybody used to call him justMoe Dizzle.
That's what we called him.
Or Hands, because he would bereal handsy with anyone.
Not in a good way either.
But Carlos Melo, we startedtraining and he was there and I
remember we just, we becamereally good friends at the time.
And he took care of me.
He taught me jiu jitsu.
Most of my jiu jitsu I learnedfrom Carlos Melo or Tyson Camp.

(59:05):
Those are the two people thatinfluenced me.
But at the Purple Belt, CarlosMelo had so much respect.
Like people knew who Carlos Melowas here.
Like they knew.
We would go to tournaments.
I'd go to tournaments andeverybody knew what his
specialty was and that was armbars.
Like everyone knew we'd go totournaments in SoCal and people
would know him.
They're like, watch out.
He's going to do an armbar onyou.
And sure enough, Carlos hit anarmbar.

(59:25):
And so it was cool.
Carlos Melo was probably one ofmy first, people that like just
really influenced me in jiujitsu and still does to this
day.
You moved to Riverside andtrained over there.
Yeah, when I went to hygieneschool, I got into hygiene
school, and I got mainly intoschools in Southern California.
I just picked this one school inRiverside, had no idea about
what Riverside was.

(59:46):
I was like, SoCal, it's gotta benice.
It's the exact opposite.
It's Riverside is like, desert,for sure.
I looked at the hills, it's allbrown, there's no trees.
I was like, man, where am I at?
I'm probably gonna die out here.
But when I went out there, I wasgoing out there for school and I
didn't have any money, didn'treally even have a car.
My ex wife, she was my wife atthe time.
We had my two kids and we justpacked up and went down there

(01:00:10):
and I had a little condo andthere was a small little
shopping area across the street.
And I would hang out there allthe time.
And at that time I was a bluebelt.
I was probably a second degreeor third degree blue belt.
And I remember going to thiscoffee shop.
There are a little local coffeeshop.
Mom Pop shop and there was a guythere who's a barista And he saw
my ears and he's like, hey, youtrain.

(01:00:31):
I was like yah.
He's like, you need to comecheck out my gym.
I was like, where's it at?
Cause I don't have a car.
He's like, it's literally onemile from here.
And at that time I was trainingto compete a lot.
So I was like, Oh, one mile.
That's great.
That's a warmup run for me.
I'll sprint there and then I'llgo train and I'll come back and
I'll be like, you know, so I wasalways looking at ways to train
for competition.
So I was like, great, tell mewhere it's at.
And so he told me, and so thenext day I went, I ran there,

(01:00:53):
showed up, there's this guynamed Bo King, he had an MMA
school at that time, that schoolwas called King's MMA, after his
last name, and, this was like in2007, yeah 2008, because Barack
Obama just became president.
So 2008.
And, I told him like, hey, I doJiu Jitsu, I want to train, I
said, but I don't have any moneyman.
I'm like broke.
But I love Jiu Jitsu.

(01:01:14):
I'll do whatever you need me todo.
He's look, great.
He's this is all I need you todo.
I need you to show up, teachsome classes, and open up the
school for me on Friday.
Because I live in Temecula,which was about 30, 40 minutes
away without traffic.
And he's and I want to come uphere on Fridays.
He's can you do that for me?
I was like, yeah.
He's okay.
You do that, you're good.
And yeah, he took care of me.
I love that guy.
Wow.
Let's see.
You talked about traveling toBrazil for jujitsu Yeah.

(01:01:38):
Yeah.
People like Carlos Melo, TysonCamp, like Tyson.
He was a really big influentialpart of my life.
I tell Tyson all the time, thatwas about the time I was going
to commit suicide.
Tyson was in my life and Ialways tell him like, I feel
like God put him in my lifebecause he helped me out a lot.
I was going, like I said, I wasgoing through some dark times in

(01:01:59):
my life and I was like, AndTyson saw that he picked up
Tyson's highly intelligent ifyou ever talk to him, man, he's
cool He's I mean you need to gethim on here.
That guy is just a wealth ofwisdom Yeah, and I looked up to
him.
I was like man that guy's sointelligent.
He's articulate I want to belike that guy like he's smart
like he knows things and so He,I don't know why he took me,

(01:02:19):
just maybe because I was crazy,right?
We would do crazy stuff in JiuJitsu, like we were always
fighting, we'd be hanging outwith Carlos and we'd always get
into fights and so Tyson justloved that, like he was cool
with us and we'd just talk aboutall the crazy stuff we'd get
into with all the fights andeverything.
So we're just rowdy and Tysonhung out with him, he'd just
laugh, he thought it washilarious.
And so he liked me and he knewthat we would always train and
we'd just show up and train,that's what we did.

(01:02:40):
And so he took me on his wingand he saw I was going through a
hard time and he said, Ben.
I need you to come with me.
I said, where are we going?
He said, I want to take you toBrazil.
And at that time, I was like,man, Brazil, like everyone wants
to go to Brazil.
You know, like at that time itwasn't, you didn't really, you
know, like people don'tunderstand the worlds, the IBJJF
world was not here inCalifornia.
It was in Brazil.
You would have, it was calledthe Mundials at that time.

(01:03:01):
You had to go to Brazil to tryto compete in the world.
Carlos Melo went to the world togo compete in the world.
Garth Taylor, who was probablynext to BJ Penn, was probably
one of the first Americans towin the world in Brazil.
Like, the guy's a legend.
But, so I was like, yes, I getto go.
This is awesome because that'sall you ever wanted to do at
that time for Jiu Jitsu.
You love it so much.
I need to go to Brazil becausethis is where it's at.

(01:03:21):
Yeah.
And I was going through a reallyhard time and all I had was Jiu
Jitsu at that time and Tysonknew that.
And he said, Hey Ben, I really,I want you to come with me.
And I said, Tyson, I'm broke,man.
I have no money.
I have nothing.
He said, don't worry about it.
He said, I'll cover your planeticket.
I'll take care of you, man.
I got everything all set up.
He's I just need you to comewith me.
He didn't tell me why, but Iknow, now I know why.

(01:03:42):
It's because he saw I was goingthrough a pretty hard time.
And so he paid for my ticket.
And we went out there and wewere out there for about three
weeks and it was probably someof the most brutal training We
ever did.
Right now we look at GordonRyan.
We look at those guys, but atthat time There was like
Buchecha who was big but beforeBuchecha there was Rodolfo
Vieira And he was from GF teamand that was like the big team

(01:04:03):
at the time GF team becauseRodolfo Vieira comes out of
nowhere and he's this beast.
But we got to train with him.
Wow in santa cruz because heused to come here.
Before he was somebody and youget to go private train with
them.
So Tyson had a good relationshipwith people out there.
So he met a really good friend.
And yeah, he's don't worry, Ben,I got it all.
We're going to stay in Brazil.
We were in North Rio, which ishood.
Okay.

(01:04:23):
So they have South Rio, which iswhere everyone goes.
Coca Cabana, all the beaches.
No, we were in the hood.
Like literally where we'restaying at.
There's favelas up there.
The first night me and Tysonshow up.
Man, these guys didn't have AK,they had like cannons, like we
were literally, man, we go inthe house and all you hear,
boom, boom, boom, boom, likeliterally like at the end of the
block and the guy that's hostingus, he said, welcome to Brazil

(01:04:45):
and every night that's how itwas.
It was like gunfights going onevery night and we're just
eating.
We're just eating food at thedinner table.
So yeah, going to Brazil wasdope.
We did like three days and allwe did was train.
We wake up in the morning, gotrain.
We go home, eat some acai, andthen like real acai.
It's different here in theStates.
It's not acai here.
And then we go train in theafternoon and then we eat more

(01:05:07):
and then we go train at nightand then we come back and eat.
And it was just for three weeks.
That's what we did.
And it was probably one of themost breathtaking moments in my
life to help me out a lot.
Yeah, that's amazing.
That's so great.
Okay, What does jujitsu mean toyou today compared to when you
first started?
Oh, Because it's a differencebetween maturity levels right

(01:05:31):
when I first started jiu jitsu Ijust wanted to be the baddest
man in my area and just wantedto be able to just hurt people
and that's what It really wasfor me It was like I need to
learn this because somebody elsecan have this and they could
hurt me So I need to learn thisbecause I want to hurt people.
But now at this time in my life,I see jiu jitsu as something, As
a tool in my life that justreally helps bring a lot of

(01:05:53):
stability and community becauseI think some of the greatest
relationships that I've createdin this, and that since I
started in 2005 are still therelationships I have to this
day.
And the only relationship thatI've had since I was a kid is
the one with Kiko.
But in the Jiu Jitsu community,it's like, all the people we

(01:06:16):
came up with, we're stillfriends to this day, and we
still hang out, we go do things,we talk, and so now in this
mature stage of my life, ithelps bring a level of stability
and community in my life.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I see that Yeah.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
Okay.
Did you want to, talk about,your wife and your kids for a
little bit and then we should beable to stop at That point?

(01:06:38):
Yeah.
I think that, that next to Godwe all have things that we live
and strive for.
And I don't wanna be cliche orspeak any kind of platitudes
'cause I hate cliches andplatitudes.
I really do.
But.
as we talked a lot about this,about God's part of financial
care, I feel like my wife's partof that and my kids are part of
that.
My wife has helped me see myselfin a different perspective.

(01:07:00):
I told you I have that prayer Ipray that God just helped me see
me the way that you see me But Ifeel like my wife reminds me
like she's not God or any I'mnot saying that I'm saying that
she has Those words that I feellike he would tell me every day
on a daily basis to remind me ofyou know The other day we were
just driving.
He said look at all the stuffthat we you've accomplished in
your life Like, look what you'vedone.

(01:07:21):
This is amazing.
You should be really happy.
And in my mind frame, I'm like,man, I'm still here on low tier.
I'm trying to get up here and Iwant to continue to grow and get
here.
And my mind solely, I told mywife, look, this is my goal in
the next five years.
We need to continue to grow andgrow.
And she's you just need to chillfor a second and you just need
to be appreciative of everythingyou have.
I said, you know what?
You're absolutely right.

(01:07:41):
Because, there's that old sayingthat, The grass is always
greener on the other side, andthat's not true.
The grass is greener where youwater it.
And that's a perspective thatshe's trying to remind you of,
you have grass, man.
You have a pretty big yard.
You have a nice yard.
Yeah.
Continue to water it.
You know, you're good.
You, before, you didn't havegrass.

(01:08:01):
You didn't have anything.
And now you have grass.
And you get to take care of it.
It's yours.
You own it.
You're an owner, you've donethis, and for my wife and kids,
and my son, he just loves me,and he just, he's 23 years old,
and I feel, he hasn't told methis, and maybe it's just me
thinking as a dad.
I feel like I'm still this hero.

(01:08:22):
You are.
And I love that.
I can see that when I was herethe other day watching him
converse with you.
And I think that there's justsomething special about that.
Now unfortunately me and mydaughter, because of how she
grew up, she got the worst ofme.
There's still tension there andmy prayer is that we come back
and it will.
There's just something to that.
When you have three people inyour life that are part of your
life, but they continue to showup in your life and encourage

(01:08:45):
you and strengthen you and youcan't do anything else but
succeed.
And so my wife and my son and myfamily, my daughter.
I am here today because one God,but also how God influences
their life and it influences mylife and it continues to help me
want to strive and be better,not just for myself.
People are like, I want to bethe best version of myself.

(01:09:07):
Okay, that's good.
I understand that.
I don't want to be the bestversion of myself.
Not only for myself, I want tobe that for the people around me
because every day they show up,they give me their best and now
to return, I should do the samefor them.
I should give the best for themto, and to in that we will
continue to grow and thrive andsucceed.

(01:09:29):
So for my family, for them, theyhave a huge influence in my
life, on my perspective, becausewhen they weren't, when I didn't
have them in my perspective, Iwas just living haphazardly, to
the point where it almost killedme.
But because they're in my life,they're not the sole purpose I
live.
I don't live for them.
I live my life because I havelife, and it's precious.
But the way I handle and live mylife.

(01:09:50):
They're a big, they're a bigpart of that thought process.
The choices I choose because itall comes down to choices every
day.
We have choices, right?
That's our superhuman strengthis we have choices.
We have the ability to choose.
Every moment I get up, I havethe ability to choose things and
it's either going to get mecloser to my goals or it's going
to get me further away from mygoals and I get to choose that.
But it comes with a certainperspective in our life too.

(01:10:12):
I have to actively be thinkingabout the people, myself.
Right.
And the people I love and mycharacter and what I, what I
want to accomplish.
And so they're a huge part of mychoices and how I want to see
because one day I'm going to beold.
I'm going to be a grandpa.
And, I want to sit back at atable and just think that first
thought that I had that I saidis that this almost didn't

(01:10:34):
happen.
And how cool is it that it didhappen, right?
And I have a big table,everybody's hanging out.
That's what, that's my vision.
That's what I see.
I just see a big table, bunch ofkids hanging out, and it's like,
they have something.
I got to help be a part ofcreating something that I never
had.
And I think that's really cool.
That is very cool.
And they have the freedom tolive life free.

(01:10:56):
Without any kind of boundaries,without any kind of, concerns
that maybe we had growing up.
They don't even have to knowabout it.
Like, my son doesn't knowanything about that life.
He has no idea about it.
And I love that.
Like, my father in law now, formy wife, he says, your son's
kind of square.
I said, yeah, I want it thatway.
I want him to be square.
I want him to be a nerd.
I want him to do that stuff.

(01:11:16):
Why would I want him to beanything else?
Right?
That's the whole point of this.
I don't want him to have to gothrough the things I went
through.
I don't want him to have thosehurts.
I want him to have a way betterlife, than I had.
And that's what we call legacy.
I wanna leave a legacy.
So when the time goes on, ourme, our, we have a legacy and
this just continues to grow andwe affect change in the world.

(01:11:37):
And that's how we do it.
One step at a time, one choiceat a time.
So yeah, that's how I would saymy family plays a role.
Good.
Ben, this is great.
I had a really good time withyou and thank you for being
here.
let's give a shout out to your,home gym.
Yeah.
Yeah, anytime you're in thearea, South San Jose, Solidarity
Jiu Jitsu.
I'm sure a lot of people feelthis way, but I feel like we

(01:11:58):
have the best, black belts here,instructors.
And not just because they, notbecause of the technique.
I think it's what, I think partof it is what they bring.
How they care for people.
I can actually feel safe tellingpeople to come here because I
know they're going to be takinggreat care of and That's what
I'm proud of being a part of,that we have a gym, that we

(01:12:18):
built this gym.
Actually Kiko, Fernando, andKirby, they're the ones really
building it.
I get to just be a beneficiary,a benefactor of the gym.
But the way they build the gym,the way they carry themselves,
the way that they teach people,the way they create community,
I'm very proud to say, I'm partof this.
And then now, we have anopportunity in Southern
California, so Solidarity JiuJitsu here in San Jose, and then
we have Solidarity South, whichis in Temecula.

(01:12:39):
So if you're ever in either oneof those areas hit us up.
You're always welcome to cometrain with us.
Always.
Yeah.
Okay.
Perfect.
Okay.
Thank you.
Yeah.
And have a good day and we'lltalk soon.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Luckee.
Appreciate it.
Appreciate it.