October 24, 2025 • 24 mins
In this episode, Amber of Light Livin Photography and Marie of Marie Elizabeth Photography get honest about comparison, imposter syndrome, and fear-based pricing. If you’ve ever scrolled and felt smaller, second-guessed your rates, or wondered if there’s room for you—this conversation will help you step back into alignment, abundance, and creative confidence.
We’ll cover:
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How to shift from comparison to creation (and why styled shoots help)
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Curating your social feed with intention—muting, posting without scrolling, and seeking true inspiration
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The expander mindset: turning others’ success into evidence for your own
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Moving from scarcity to abundance in energy, pricing, and marketing
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Community over competition: befriending local photographers and building support
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Practical resets for imposter syndrome: proof folders, reframes, and small courageous actions
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What does the most abundant version of me believe about her art, her worth, and her clients?
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Where am I still playing small because of comparison or fear?
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How would my energy, my marketing, and my pricing shift if I embodied that abundant version of myself today?
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Amber’s Education – Light Livin Transformation Course (natural light shooting + editing): https://lightlivinphotography.com/education-page
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Marie’s Education – The Luxury Client Journey: https://marie-elizabethphotography.com/the-luxury-client-journey
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Aligned Marketing Method Waitlist: https://proud-bamboo-728.myflodesk.com/ruq5vletnb
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Style Guide Template: https://lightlivinphotography.com/style-guide
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HoneyBook CRM: http://share.honeybook.com/marie85246
Amber – Light Livin Photography Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/light_livin_photography/ Website & Education: https://lightlivinphotography.com/education-page
Marie – Marie Elizabeth Photography Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marie.elizabeth.photo/ Mentoring: https://marie-elizabethphotography.com/photography-mentoring
Affiliate Disclosure: Some links may be affiliate links. If you purchase through them, we may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. We only share tools and resources we genuinely use and love.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Amber Courtney (00:06):
Hey guys.
Welcome back to theLuxe and Legacy Podcast.
I'm Amber with light living photographyand I'm here with my friend.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (00:14):
Marie of Marie Elizabeth Photography today, we're diving
into something that every creative facesat some point, and that is comparison and
Imposter syndrome and fear-based pricing.
This one hits pretty deep.
It is so easy to scroll throughInstagram, see another photographer's
(00:34):
beautiful work or sold outcalendar and immediately think.
Why not me?
Maybe I should just pack up and quit.
But today we're gonna talkabout how to shift out of that
comparison energy and back intoconfident alignment and abundance.
(00:55):
And I wanna emphasize that this is apractice you never really feel like.
You've arrived unless you decide to.
So I definitely have somestrategies I use that are helpful
to me that I'll be sharing.
And we ask in our stories how you, thelisteners typically combat comparison.
So we'll be sharing someof those responses as well.
(01:16):
So, first, Amber, I wanna ask you,do you struggle with comparison?
And if so, what do you do to help with it?
Amber Courtney (01:24):
Definitely, I'll be honest, comparison was something I really
struggled with early on in my business,especially when I'd see photographers who
were incredibly talented but charging.
Not very much, and it used tomake me feel guilty, like, who am
I to charge more than them whenshe's just as good, if not better.
(01:46):
What I've learned to do is juststop looking at those accounts.
People who.
Are really, I know they areundercharging and they're really good.
That should not impact me and Ishouldn't let that hold myself back.
I shouldn't let other people'slimitations also limit me.
(02:06):
So what I tend to do for those accountsis I don't block them or unfollow
them, but I might mute them for a whilejust so I can get my head back into
what's best for me for my business.
How much do I need tocharge to make a profit?
What's really serving my ownclients and my own brand rather
than letting someone else and.
(02:27):
Their undercharging hold me back fromwhat's my highest, best self, and
it's simply protecting my own mindset.
I don't need a constant reminder poppingup in my feed that might trigger more
guilt or doubt, and it doesn't mean Idon't admire their work by muting them.
It just means I choose to staygrounded and stay in my own lane.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens: Yeah, that's a good point. (02:51):
undefined
Muting doesn't necessarily need to beabout disconnection or not supporting.
It's about just like focusingon your business, maintaining
alignment, and as you said.
Staying in your own lane.
Amber Courtney (03:05):
Exactly, and now when I see someone whose work that's absolutely
beautiful, I try to view them as moreof an expander instead of competition.
So I don't so much worry about fightingfor clients based on price anymore.
Instead, I look at other people's talentwho I really admire and think of them as.
(03:27):
What I call an expander or if you'vedone any mindset work or, worked
on those type of things, youmay have heard that term before.
I didn't make up that term.
It's when you have someone in your lifethat really has a lot more than you,
they've gotten farther than you, but youdon't view it in a jealous kind of way.
You view it in a way of like,oh, well they can do it.
(03:48):
I can do it too.
And it helps you expand and grow ratherthan focusing on the people who are
holding you back or they have less than or
they're not charging very much.
So you think, oh, I can'tcharge more than them.
Instead, think about the people whothey've grown, you know, they've
(04:08):
done it, they make a lot per session,they make a really great profit.
They've worked on their skills andthey're super talented, and you
let that have an expansion mindset.
It's kind of like the glass half fullor the, glass half empty mindset.
So now instead of thinking of someone.
In my area as competition.
I'll think, oh, her work is stunning.
(04:30):
I love it.
I'm so inspired by it, but it's alsodifferent than mine, and that's okay.
So her people will be drawn to herand my people will be drawn to me
therefore, I don't havethat jealousy feeling.
It makes everything feel so muchlighter and more supportive.
There's room for all of us whenwe're being authentic and creating
(04:52):
from who we are, not just tryingto replicate someone else.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (04:57):
I think that's so fascinating.
I've never heard the term expander,but I think I actually do that a little
bit too, which I'll get to in a minute.
definitely go through phaseswhere I struggle with comparison.
Not so much from the business side ofthings anymore, but from the art side,
because there's always gonna be peoplebetter than you out there, you know?
(05:21):
Mm-hmm.
, And I think.
It's something that with social media,it's like constantly on the radar if
we're not being intentional about,you know, our thoughts and actions,
especially when going on Instagram.
Usually, I feel that, , comparisontrap when I'm not feeling
as inspired by my work.
(05:42):
So the first thing I typicallydo when feeling this way.
Is plan a styled session.
This gives me something to lookforward to, and it's an action step,
so I always feel better taking thingsinto my own hands and taking action.
Another thing I do is simplyspend less time on Instagram.
I think it's really important to askourselves, okay, if I go on this app,
(06:06):
what do I want to feel while on it?
And after I'm on it, sometimes Ican honestly answer, you know what?
Now is not a good time for me to goon because I'm not feeling too great.
So I don't think Instagramis going to make it better.
I can kind of tell I'm in this fightor flight mode and I'm struggling to
see the big picture of where I am,my business, my work, and the less
(06:31):
time I spend on Instagram, the betterI am able to see the big picture and
appreciate others' work alongside my own.
Or another thing I'll do is I'llgo on Instagram, I post and that's
Amber Courtney (06:45):
Great.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (06:46):
The biggest thing is just like not scrolling
or swiping through stories, becausethat's how it starts for me.
I actually rarely viewother people's stories.
Now I only view stories of some otherkinds of creators or you know, people
living in the French countryside.
So I can just daydream.
Amber Courtney (07:05):
I absolutely love that.
Sometimes I will go off Instagram andinstead go onto Pinterest, because that's
what you were talking about where youfind inspiration and it's not necessarily
attached to a certain person that'sin your area that you feel, you know,
a certain type of way about instead.
(07:26):
Be inspired by things.
So maybe going onto Pinterest andscrolling, like you said, French
countryside photos or whatever typeof artwork and jewelry you love.
Other things that kind of create.
That inspired feeling is going to bringyou back to your center and help you
come back to your brand and who you are.
(07:48):
And then I also love that you talked aboutstyled shoots I've talked about before.
That's one of my favorite things to do inmy business, to stay aligned in my brand
and my creativity and my inspiration.
So that's definitelysomething I love as well.
Okay, next, let's.
Talk about shifting fromscarcity to abundance.
Once your confidencebuilds, then the next shift.
(08:10):
Is really moving into more of anabundance mindset to help you curtail
some of those feelings of competitionwhen you're looking at other people in
your area or other people on Instagram.
When we.
Believe in our head that there aren'tenough clients that the market's
either too crowded or too scarce.
(08:33):
We shrink ourselves, we lower our prices,we overdeliver, we lose our joy, and
jealousy is really a low vibration Energyand abundance is a high vibration energy.
So if instead.
Of thinking about, oh, themarket's too, this or that.
(08:55):
Instead we think about, well, why not mebe able to charge what these expanders
charge or why can't it be me who growsmy business to something incredible?
That is thinking in an abundance andalso realizing that everyone has their
own clients that would be attracted tothem, and that it's really not about.
(09:17):
There not being enough clients.
There's always enough clients outthere, believe me, you guys, no matter
where you live, and the more you raiseyour vibration to think of things in
a really abundant way, the more thingswill start to be attracted to you.
The more you can attract theseamazing clients to you and more
good things come to you in life.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (09:40):
Amber, we're gonna need to do an episode on
energy because , as I've mentioned,I'm not a super woo woo person, but
like, I totally believe in the powerof it, and I love learning about it.
So you're, we're going to do anepisode where you, you teach me
Amber Courtney (09:56):
Maybe we'll bring on an actual expert.
I've definitely studied a lot, butI think that would be a really great
episode to bring on a guest speaker.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (10:05):
Yeah.
As I said, I don't know anything aboutit, but I totally believe it because I've
experienced it, you know, when practicingthings like affirmations, and there have
been periods in my business where I havefelt that scarcity and that desperation
to book the next potential client.
And whenever I'm feeling.
(10:26):
that desperation I don't book.
Whereas when I have thosefeelings of abundance, I do.
So there really is somethingscientific there that I would
love to explore at some point.
So I was going to add on that.
I do use this expander mindset.
(10:46):
I didn't know that's what it wascalled, but another strategy I
use is simply changing my mindset.
To think that there is room for everyone.
And I'm not really a muter on Instagram.
I know this works for a lot of people,so I don't wanna discount that for me.
I know that I need to address this feelingof insecurity and scarcity head on.
(11:08):
So that saying.
this person's work is beautifuland mine is too, and comment
and like on these accounts.
And I find for me that thisalmost releases that tension that
my body is holding onto about
Amber Courtney (11:25):
I love that.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (11:26):
I want.
Yeah, I totally feel like thisrelease when I lean into it.
And I wanna say that you can bevery helpful until you feel like
you're in that abundance mindset.
And something else you can do is you canmute accounts and then like if they're
friends of yours, you can still supportthem by going to like and comment on their
(11:48):
work when you're in a good place to do so.
Amber Courtney (11:51):
Exactly.
Yes.
And you have to Think to yourself,okay, scarcity is when you're saying,
I have to take what I can get.
Abundance is when you'resaying to yourself.
I attract what aligns with me whenI stop trying to compete on price
and focus instead on my own value,my own brand, my own experience.
(12:12):
That's when I fill my calendarwith tons of people who get me.
And I love that you said you go andyou still are super supportive and that
is another part of good energetics isputting out good energy and positivity
on the people's feeds that you maybe feeling like that, but then once
(12:36):
you said, once you put somethingpositive and you hit like, comment,
it actually is a release for you.
'cause that's, that's good energythat you're going back and forth with.
So I love that.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (12:48):
So interesting.
I wanna learn more.
When we start collaborating insteadof that competition, that competing
feeling like we're up againsteach other, like during retreats
and workshops, that energy shiftsliterally opens up doors for everyone.
Amber Courtney (13:08):
Yes.
It's such a good reminder thatwhen you celebrate other people's
success, you call in your own.
Okay.
For this next part, we wanna go intowhat some of our followers said,
some advice and tips that they had.
Marie and I went on our Instagram theother day and we asked if you guys have
(13:29):
experienced these feelings and whatyou have done to overcome them, and we
got a lot of really great responses.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (13:36):
Yeah, a lot of you came up with so much wisdom, so
we're gonna share a few of our favorites.
Amber Courtney (13:41):
Okay, Jana.
She said, I would say if there are certainphotographers, you find yourself comparing
yourself to befriend them, reach out,grab coffee together, build community
with these photographers you admire.
Learn more about their story.
It's.
Cetera.
Building community and befriendingphotographers has helped me so much
(14:04):
with getting out of the comparisonmindset because you realize behind
those quote unquote perfect picksis usually just another amazing
photographer who has a beautifulstory to tell that could inspire you.
So it sounds like genre.
You are definitely usingthat expander mindset method.
I love that.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (14:24):
Yeah, there's so much to be said for community.
I am really close friends withtwo other newborn photographers
in the DC area, and it has just.
Changed the way I see thephotographer community.
I just feel so welcomed and we're in asafe space and we all support each other.
(14:47):
So community can really do so much.
Photo and Stephanie Nelson saidthey create more than they consume
and plan a few of their ownstyle shoots too, which I love.
As we talked about, think that creatinggives us so much energy, whereas
always consuming can suck it away.
(15:08):
Right.
I also love what Chelsea Allegra said.
She keeps a folder in her phone ofall screenshots and messages from
happy clients that she can accesswhen she needs to, which can be very
grounding and remind us to get out ofour own heads and see the big picture.
then a Zita photography said shetried to compare herself to where
(15:31):
she was a year ago, and I love that.
Celebrating your own growth.
Amber Courtney (15:36):
Ooh, I love that one too.
Instead of comparing yourselfto other people, think about
how far you've come personally.
That's a great one.
Hannah of Kia Collective said,I totally know the feeling.
I tried to put myself.
In other photographer's shoes.
So the people that are, aremaking her feel competitive
(15:57):
or like she's not good enough.
She tries to put herself in their shoes,um, but not overstep on, on their feet.
She said, just trying to learn fromthem and how they handled their
clients and their business andlet it be an inspiration to her.
She said, I loved where thesepeople were going, but I didn't.
(16:19):
I want to copy.
I wanted to be my own person andfeel like I'm doing things, inspired
by them, but in my own way, andthen I learned my own rhythm.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (16:30):
These are such beautiful reminders
that we're all in this together.
Everyone goes through it.
Everyone feels that comparison, trapand comparison thrives in silence.
So when we talk about it openly, werealize how universal it is and how
much power we gain by naming it.
Amber Courtney (16:51):
That leads me into this next point.
Curating your feed.
If social media isn't inspiringyou, time to shift it.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (16:59):
Yeah, as I mentioned, I view stories that
are inspiring to me, so I am veryintentional about what I view.
I rarely follow or I rarely view my.
Friends stories or other photographerstories, if I know something
big is going on in their life.
I try to, but I follow a lot of artistaccounts, people renovating old homes,
(17:22):
people living in Scotland or France,and I feel inspired and good seeing
the, these stories I'm thinking abouthow I want to feel during and after.
So it's definitely an intentionaldecision that has a positive outcome.
Amber Courtney (17:39):
Yeah, exactly.
And like I mentioned before, it doesn'talways have to be through Instagram.
It can be Pinterest or Google or whateverto start creating folders of inspiration
for creativity and to focus on thatinstead of what other people are doing.
So I love having boards fullof artwork and they may be old
(18:00):
countryside, like Marie and Ihave some similar inspirations.
I think like the really.
Old fashioned European cottageswith a flower garden and a mother
with a linen dress, just walkingthrough and collecting flowers.
Something like that brings meback to my center and helps
me find my inspiration again.
And that reminds me of another quote.
(18:20):
That one of my followers, Abby Tran said,and she said that actually creating styled
shoots helps her feel a lot better andhelps her get over imposter syndrome.
She said, I definitely feel impostersyndrome from time to time, especially
when I start comparing my work orpricing to other photographers.
(18:40):
When that happens, I liketo plan a model call.
Where I have full creative controlover every detail, it always helps
me reconnect with my creativityand remember why I love doing this.
And funny enough, those model callsessions usually end up being the ones
that get the most attention online too.
Exactly.
I love that, Abby.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (19:01):
Yeah, taking that action, you know, I'm sure that's
positive energy, right amber, andfeeling inspired, you'll create from
authenticity, not imitation, not likethat struggle to keep up in the rat race.
You start creating from yoursoul again and feeling energized.
Amber Courtney (19:23):
Exactly.
Inspiration expands you andcomparison contracts you.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (19:29):
And we can't talk about comparison without
talking about imposter syndrome.
The voice that says, who amI to charge that much or I'm
not as talented as she is.
And something I've learned is thatimposter syndrome never quite goes away.
(19:49):
You basically never.
Quote, make it unless youdecide you've made it.
And I think a lot of imposter syndromealso has to do with being a woman.
I think a lot of mencome across so confident.
Women have only been in the workforcefor a few generations, whereas men have
been in the workforce for centuries.
(20:10):
I think that a lot of women aremore likely to admit when they don't
know something, or there is a gapin their knowledge, and instead of
acknowledging that for what it is.
That there's more to learn.
They take it all the way to the oppositedirection of, I shouldn't be doing this.
I'm not qualified.
(20:31):
of focusing on what they do knowand embracing the idea that it's
important to always be learning.
Amber Courtney (20:37):
That's so true.
As women, we definitely have toactively work on this a lot to make
sure that we're not limiting ourselves.
So it's kind of like whenI first raised my prices.
And I had that panic.
I know everyone else has felt thisat at some point, and I thought, what
if no one books, you know, becauseI raised my prices quite a bit when
(21:00):
I jumped from 500 to 800, and thatimposter syndrome definitely showed up.
But I want you guys to rememberwhen you're expanding and imposter
syndrome does show up, that'sa sign of growth, not failure.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (21:16):
Yeah, exactly.
It's your brain saying,oh, this is a new place.
We've never been here before.
That's not a no, that's not a stop.
It's an invitation to rise and to grow.
Amber Courtney (21:29):
Yes.
I tell students all the time, fear isthe ticket price for your next level.
Instead of asking, who am I to do this?
Ask, why not me?
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (21:42):
Yeah, and if you're someone who needs like concrete
evidence, which I totally get it exists.
Client testimonials,repeat bookings kind words.
Keep a little proof folderfor those moments when that
imposter voice gets loud.
Amber Courtney (21:57):
Yes, because the truth is successful people don't have less fear.
They've just learned not to let thatfear drive the car and get in their way.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (22:07):
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
just to recap, confidence, abundance,inspiration, self-belief, those are
all super helpful for breaking freefrom comparison and imposter syndrome.
Amber Courtney (22:21):
Yes.
When you know your worth, believethere's enough for everyone
and quiet that imposter voice,your energy completely changes.
You start attracting the dream.
Clients who value your art.
And your heart.
So if you've been caught in the comparisongame, take this as your reminder.
There's only one you, yourstory, your art, and your light
(22:42):
are completely irreplaceable.
Before we wrap up, I wanna leaveyou guys with a little energy reset.
We can always, use thatfrom time to time, right?
Something you can come back to wheneveryou start feeling comparison or scarcity.
Sneak in.
And if you want to take this evendeeper, spend a few quiet minutes
(23:04):
journaling with these prompts.
Number one, what does the mostabundant version of me believe about
her art, her worth, and her clients?
Number two, where am I still playingsmall because of comparison or fear?
(23:24):
Number three, how would my energy,my marketing, and my pricing
shift if I fully embodied thatabundant version of myself today?
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (23:34):
Yeah, it's so important to face these questions
head on because you are accessinglike these deep, deep feelings.
So you start to rewire how you thinkabout your business and yourself.
You move from.
Hustling for validation to creatingfrom confidence and trusting yourself.
Amber Courtney (23:56):
And that's when things really start to flow, right?
Opportunities show up.
Clients connect more deeply, and yourcreativity expands because you're
finally leading from your highest energy.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (24:07):
Yeah, and that's what true abundance feels like.
It's calm, it's intentional,and deeply aligned.
Amber Courtney (24:14):
So take this as your reminder.
You're not behind.
You are expanding.
Keep anchoring into gratitude, trust,and alignment, and watch how your
energy and your results begin to shift.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (24:27):
That's where the magic and the legacy began.
Amber Courtney (24:29):
If this episode spoke to you, share your biggest
takeaway or journal reflectionon Instagram and tag us.
We love Senior Energyand Growth come to life.
We'll see you next week foranother episode of Luxe and Legacy.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (24:44):
Create from your heart, not from your fear.
We'll see you next time.
I am Marie.
Amber Courtney (24:49):
And I'm Amber.
Thanks for listening you guys.
Bye.
Hey guys.
Welcome back to theLuxe and Legacy Podcast.
I'm Amber with light living photographyand I'm here with my friend.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (00:14):
Marie of Marie Elizabeth Photography today, we're diving
into something that every creative facesat some point, and that is comparison and
Imposter syndrome and fear-based pricing.
This one hits pretty deep.
It is so easy to scroll throughInstagram, see another photographer's
(00:34):
beautiful work or sold outcalendar and immediately think.
Why not me?
Maybe I should just pack up and quit.
But today we're gonna talkabout how to shift out of that
comparison energy and back intoconfident alignment and abundance.
(00:55):
And I wanna emphasize that this is apractice you never really feel like.
You've arrived unless you decide to.
So I definitely have somestrategies I use that are helpful
to me that I'll be sharing.
And we ask in our stories how you, thelisteners typically combat comparison.
So we'll be sharing someof those responses as well.
(01:16):
So, first, Amber, I wanna ask you,do you struggle with comparison?
And if so, what do you do to help with it?
Amber Courtney (01:24):
Definitely, I'll be honest, comparison was something I really
struggled with early on in my business,especially when I'd see photographers who
were incredibly talented but charging.
Not very much, and it used tomake me feel guilty, like, who am
I to charge more than them whenshe's just as good, if not better.
(01:46):
What I've learned to do is juststop looking at those accounts.
People who.
Are really, I know they areundercharging and they're really good.
That should not impact me and Ishouldn't let that hold myself back.
I shouldn't let other people'slimitations also limit me.
(02:06):
So what I tend to do for those accountsis I don't block them or unfollow
them, but I might mute them for a whilejust so I can get my head back into
what's best for me for my business.
How much do I need tocharge to make a profit?
What's really serving my ownclients and my own brand rather
than letting someone else and.
(02:27):
Their undercharging hold me back fromwhat's my highest, best self, and
it's simply protecting my own mindset.
I don't need a constant reminder poppingup in my feed that might trigger more
guilt or doubt, and it doesn't mean Idon't admire their work by muting them.
It just means I choose to staygrounded and stay in my own lane.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens: Yeah, that's a good point. (02:51):
undefined
Muting doesn't necessarily need to beabout disconnection or not supporting.
It's about just like focusingon your business, maintaining
alignment, and as you said.
Staying in your own lane.
Amber Courtney (03:05):
Exactly, and now when I see someone whose work that's absolutely
beautiful, I try to view them as moreof an expander instead of competition.
So I don't so much worry about fightingfor clients based on price anymore.
Instead, I look at other people's talentwho I really admire and think of them as.
(03:27):
What I call an expander or if you'vedone any mindset work or, worked
on those type of things, youmay have heard that term before.
I didn't make up that term.
It's when you have someone in your lifethat really has a lot more than you,
they've gotten farther than you, but youdon't view it in a jealous kind of way.
You view it in a way of like,oh, well they can do it.
(03:48):
I can do it too.
And it helps you expand and grow ratherthan focusing on the people who are
holding you back or they have less than or
they're not charging very much.
So you think, oh, I can'tcharge more than them.
Instead, think about the people whothey've grown, you know, they've
(04:08):
done it, they make a lot per session,they make a really great profit.
They've worked on their skills andthey're super talented, and you
let that have an expansion mindset.
It's kind of like the glass half fullor the, glass half empty mindset.
So now instead of thinking of someone.
In my area as competition.
I'll think, oh, her work is stunning.
(04:30):
I love it.
I'm so inspired by it, but it's alsodifferent than mine, and that's okay.
So her people will be drawn to herand my people will be drawn to me
therefore, I don't havethat jealousy feeling.
It makes everything feel so muchlighter and more supportive.
There's room for all of us whenwe're being authentic and creating
(04:52):
from who we are, not just tryingto replicate someone else.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (04:57):
I think that's so fascinating.
I've never heard the term expander,but I think I actually do that a little
bit too, which I'll get to in a minute.
definitely go through phaseswhere I struggle with comparison.
Not so much from the business side ofthings anymore, but from the art side,
because there's always gonna be peoplebetter than you out there, you know?
(05:21):
Mm-hmm.
, And I think.
It's something that with social media,it's like constantly on the radar if
we're not being intentional about,you know, our thoughts and actions,
especially when going on Instagram.
Usually, I feel that, , comparisontrap when I'm not feeling
as inspired by my work.
(05:42):
So the first thing I typicallydo when feeling this way.
Is plan a styled session.
This gives me something to lookforward to, and it's an action step,
so I always feel better taking thingsinto my own hands and taking action.
Another thing I do is simplyspend less time on Instagram.
I think it's really important to askourselves, okay, if I go on this app,
(06:06):
what do I want to feel while on it?
And after I'm on it, sometimes Ican honestly answer, you know what?
Now is not a good time for me to goon because I'm not feeling too great.
So I don't think Instagramis going to make it better.
I can kind of tell I'm in this fightor flight mode and I'm struggling to
see the big picture of where I am,my business, my work, and the less
(06:31):
time I spend on Instagram, the betterI am able to see the big picture and
appreciate others' work alongside my own.
Or another thing I'll do is I'llgo on Instagram, I post and that's
Amber Courtney (06:45):
Great.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (06:46):
The biggest thing is just like not scrolling
or swiping through stories, becausethat's how it starts for me.
I actually rarely viewother people's stories.
Now I only view stories of some otherkinds of creators or you know, people
living in the French countryside.
So I can just daydream.
Amber Courtney (07:05):
I absolutely love that.
Sometimes I will go off Instagram andinstead go onto Pinterest, because that's
what you were talking about where youfind inspiration and it's not necessarily
attached to a certain person that'sin your area that you feel, you know,
a certain type of way about instead.
(07:26):
Be inspired by things.
So maybe going onto Pinterest andscrolling, like you said, French
countryside photos or whatever typeof artwork and jewelry you love.
Other things that kind of create.
That inspired feeling is going to bringyou back to your center and help you
come back to your brand and who you are.
(07:48):
And then I also love that you talked aboutstyled shoots I've talked about before.
That's one of my favorite things to do inmy business, to stay aligned in my brand
and my creativity and my inspiration.
So that's definitelysomething I love as well.
Okay, next, let's.
Talk about shifting fromscarcity to abundance.
Once your confidencebuilds, then the next shift.
(08:10):
Is really moving into more of anabundance mindset to help you curtail
some of those feelings of competitionwhen you're looking at other people in
your area or other people on Instagram.
When we.
Believe in our head that there aren'tenough clients that the market's
either too crowded or too scarce.
(08:33):
We shrink ourselves, we lower our prices,we overdeliver, we lose our joy, and
jealousy is really a low vibration Energyand abundance is a high vibration energy.
So if instead.
Of thinking about, oh, themarket's too, this or that.
(08:55):
Instead we think about, well, why not mebe able to charge what these expanders
charge or why can't it be me who growsmy business to something incredible?
That is thinking in an abundance andalso realizing that everyone has their
own clients that would be attracted tothem, and that it's really not about.
(09:17):
There not being enough clients.
There's always enough clients outthere, believe me, you guys, no matter
where you live, and the more you raiseyour vibration to think of things in
a really abundant way, the more thingswill start to be attracted to you.
The more you can attract theseamazing clients to you and more
good things come to you in life.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (09:40):
Amber, we're gonna need to do an episode on
energy because , as I've mentioned,I'm not a super woo woo person, but
like, I totally believe in the powerof it, and I love learning about it.
So you're, we're going to do anepisode where you, you teach me
Amber Courtney (09:56):
Maybe we'll bring on an actual expert.
I've definitely studied a lot, butI think that would be a really great
episode to bring on a guest speaker.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (10:05):
Yeah.
As I said, I don't know anything aboutit, but I totally believe it because I've
experienced it, you know, when practicingthings like affirmations, and there have
been periods in my business where I havefelt that scarcity and that desperation
to book the next potential client.
And whenever I'm feeling.
(10:26):
that desperation I don't book.
Whereas when I have thosefeelings of abundance, I do.
So there really is somethingscientific there that I would
love to explore at some point.
So I was going to add on that.
I do use this expander mindset.
(10:46):
I didn't know that's what it wascalled, but another strategy I
use is simply changing my mindset.
To think that there is room for everyone.
And I'm not really a muter on Instagram.
I know this works for a lot of people,so I don't wanna discount that for me.
I know that I need to address this feelingof insecurity and scarcity head on.
(11:08):
So that saying.
this person's work is beautifuland mine is too, and comment
and like on these accounts.
And I find for me that thisalmost releases that tension that
my body is holding onto about
Amber Courtney (11:25):
I love that.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (11:26):
I want.
Yeah, I totally feel like thisrelease when I lean into it.
And I wanna say that you can bevery helpful until you feel like
you're in that abundance mindset.
And something else you can do is you canmute accounts and then like if they're
friends of yours, you can still supportthem by going to like and comment on their
(11:48):
work when you're in a good place to do so.
Amber Courtney (11:51):
Exactly.
Yes.
And you have to Think to yourself,okay, scarcity is when you're saying,
I have to take what I can get.
Abundance is when you'resaying to yourself.
I attract what aligns with me whenI stop trying to compete on price
and focus instead on my own value,my own brand, my own experience.
(12:12):
That's when I fill my calendarwith tons of people who get me.
And I love that you said you go andyou still are super supportive and that
is another part of good energetics isputting out good energy and positivity
on the people's feeds that you maybe feeling like that, but then once
(12:36):
you said, once you put somethingpositive and you hit like, comment,
it actually is a release for you.
'cause that's, that's good energythat you're going back and forth with.
So I love that.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (12:48):
So interesting.
I wanna learn more.
When we start collaborating insteadof that competition, that competing
feeling like we're up againsteach other, like during retreats
and workshops, that energy shiftsliterally opens up doors for everyone.
Amber Courtney (13:08):
Yes.
It's such a good reminder thatwhen you celebrate other people's
success, you call in your own.
Okay.
For this next part, we wanna go intowhat some of our followers said,
some advice and tips that they had.
Marie and I went on our Instagram theother day and we asked if you guys have
(13:29):
experienced these feelings and whatyou have done to overcome them, and we
got a lot of really great responses.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (13:36):
Yeah, a lot of you came up with so much wisdom, so
we're gonna share a few of our favorites.
Amber Courtney (13:41):
Okay, Jana.
She said, I would say if there are certainphotographers, you find yourself comparing
yourself to befriend them, reach out,grab coffee together, build community
with these photographers you admire.
Learn more about their story.
It's.
Cetera.
Building community and befriendingphotographers has helped me so much
(14:04):
with getting out of the comparisonmindset because you realize behind
those quote unquote perfect picksis usually just another amazing
photographer who has a beautifulstory to tell that could inspire you.
So it sounds like genre.
You are definitely usingthat expander mindset method.
I love that.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (14:24):
Yeah, there's so much to be said for community.
I am really close friends withtwo other newborn photographers
in the DC area, and it has just.
Changed the way I see thephotographer community.
I just feel so welcomed and we're in asafe space and we all support each other.
(14:47):
So community can really do so much.
Photo and Stephanie Nelson saidthey create more than they consume
and plan a few of their ownstyle shoots too, which I love.
As we talked about, think that creatinggives us so much energy, whereas
always consuming can suck it away.
(15:08):
Right.
I also love what Chelsea Allegra said.
She keeps a folder in her phone ofall screenshots and messages from
happy clients that she can accesswhen she needs to, which can be very
grounding and remind us to get out ofour own heads and see the big picture.
then a Zita photography said shetried to compare herself to where
(15:31):
she was a year ago, and I love that.
Celebrating your own growth.
Amber Courtney (15:36):
Ooh, I love that one too.
Instead of comparing yourselfto other people, think about
how far you've come personally.
That's a great one.
Hannah of Kia Collective said,I totally know the feeling.
I tried to put myself.
In other photographer's shoes.
So the people that are, aremaking her feel competitive
(15:57):
or like she's not good enough.
She tries to put herself in their shoes,um, but not overstep on, on their feet.
She said, just trying to learn fromthem and how they handled their
clients and their business andlet it be an inspiration to her.
She said, I loved where thesepeople were going, but I didn't.
(16:19):
I want to copy.
I wanted to be my own person andfeel like I'm doing things, inspired
by them, but in my own way, andthen I learned my own rhythm.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (16:30):
These are such beautiful reminders
that we're all in this together.
Everyone goes through it.
Everyone feels that comparison, trapand comparison thrives in silence.
So when we talk about it openly, werealize how universal it is and how
much power we gain by naming it.
Amber Courtney (16:51):
That leads me into this next point.
Curating your feed.
If social media isn't inspiringyou, time to shift it.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (16:59):
Yeah, as I mentioned, I view stories that
are inspiring to me, so I am veryintentional about what I view.
I rarely follow or I rarely view my.
Friends stories or other photographerstories, if I know something
big is going on in their life.
I try to, but I follow a lot of artistaccounts, people renovating old homes,
(17:22):
people living in Scotland or France,and I feel inspired and good seeing
the, these stories I'm thinking abouthow I want to feel during and after.
So it's definitely an intentionaldecision that has a positive outcome.
Amber Courtney (17:39):
Yeah, exactly.
And like I mentioned before, it doesn'talways have to be through Instagram.
It can be Pinterest or Google or whateverto start creating folders of inspiration
for creativity and to focus on thatinstead of what other people are doing.
So I love having boards fullof artwork and they may be old
(18:00):
countryside, like Marie and Ihave some similar inspirations.
I think like the really.
Old fashioned European cottageswith a flower garden and a mother
with a linen dress, just walkingthrough and collecting flowers.
Something like that brings meback to my center and helps
me find my inspiration again.
And that reminds me of another quote.
(18:20):
That one of my followers, Abby Tran said,and she said that actually creating styled
shoots helps her feel a lot better andhelps her get over imposter syndrome.
She said, I definitely feel impostersyndrome from time to time, especially
when I start comparing my work orpricing to other photographers.
(18:40):
When that happens, I liketo plan a model call.
Where I have full creative controlover every detail, it always helps
me reconnect with my creativityand remember why I love doing this.
And funny enough, those model callsessions usually end up being the ones
that get the most attention online too.
Exactly.
I love that, Abby.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (19:01):
Yeah, taking that action, you know, I'm sure that's
positive energy, right amber, andfeeling inspired, you'll create from
authenticity, not imitation, not likethat struggle to keep up in the rat race.
You start creating from yoursoul again and feeling energized.
Amber Courtney (19:23):
Exactly.
Inspiration expands you andcomparison contracts you.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (19:29):
And we can't talk about comparison without
talking about imposter syndrome.
The voice that says, who amI to charge that much or I'm
not as talented as she is.
And something I've learned is thatimposter syndrome never quite goes away.
(19:49):
You basically never.
Quote, make it unless youdecide you've made it.
And I think a lot of imposter syndromealso has to do with being a woman.
I think a lot of mencome across so confident.
Women have only been in the workforcefor a few generations, whereas men have
been in the workforce for centuries.
(20:10):
I think that a lot of women aremore likely to admit when they don't
know something, or there is a gapin their knowledge, and instead of
acknowledging that for what it is.
That there's more to learn.
They take it all the way to the oppositedirection of, I shouldn't be doing this.
I'm not qualified.
(20:31):
of focusing on what they do knowand embracing the idea that it's
important to always be learning.
Amber Courtney (20:37):
That's so true.
As women, we definitely have toactively work on this a lot to make
sure that we're not limiting ourselves.
So it's kind of like whenI first raised my prices.
And I had that panic.
I know everyone else has felt thisat at some point, and I thought, what
if no one books, you know, becauseI raised my prices quite a bit when
(21:00):
I jumped from 500 to 800, and thatimposter syndrome definitely showed up.
But I want you guys to rememberwhen you're expanding and imposter
syndrome does show up, that'sa sign of growth, not failure.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (21:16):
Yeah, exactly.
It's your brain saying,oh, this is a new place.
We've never been here before.
That's not a no, that's not a stop.
It's an invitation to rise and to grow.
Amber Courtney (21:29):
Yes.
I tell students all the time, fear isthe ticket price for your next level.
Instead of asking, who am I to do this?
Ask, why not me?
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (21:42):
Yeah, and if you're someone who needs like concrete
evidence, which I totally get it exists.
Client testimonials,repeat bookings kind words.
Keep a little proof folderfor those moments when that
imposter voice gets loud.
Amber Courtney (21:57):
Yes, because the truth is successful people don't have less fear.
They've just learned not to let thatfear drive the car and get in their way.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (22:07):
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
just to recap, confidence, abundance,inspiration, self-belief, those are
all super helpful for breaking freefrom comparison and imposter syndrome.
Amber Courtney (22:21):
Yes.
When you know your worth, believethere's enough for everyone
and quiet that imposter voice,your energy completely changes.
You start attracting the dream.
Clients who value your art.
And your heart.
So if you've been caught in the comparisongame, take this as your reminder.
There's only one you, yourstory, your art, and your light
(22:42):
are completely irreplaceable.
Before we wrap up, I wanna leaveyou guys with a little energy reset.
We can always, use thatfrom time to time, right?
Something you can come back to wheneveryou start feeling comparison or scarcity.
Sneak in.
And if you want to take this evendeeper, spend a few quiet minutes
(23:04):
journaling with these prompts.
Number one, what does the mostabundant version of me believe about
her art, her worth, and her clients?
Number two, where am I still playingsmall because of comparison or fear?
(23:24):
Number three, how would my energy,my marketing, and my pricing
shift if I fully embodied thatabundant version of myself today?
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (23:34):
Yeah, it's so important to face these questions
head on because you are accessinglike these deep, deep feelings.
So you start to rewire how you thinkabout your business and yourself.
You move from.
Hustling for validation to creatingfrom confidence and trusting yourself.
Amber Courtney (23:56):
And that's when things really start to flow, right?
Opportunities show up.
Clients connect more deeply, and yourcreativity expands because you're
finally leading from your highest energy.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (24:07):
Yeah, and that's what true abundance feels like.
It's calm, it's intentional,and deeply aligned.
Amber Courtney (24:14):
So take this as your reminder.
You're not behind.
You are expanding.
Keep anchoring into gratitude, trust,and alignment, and watch how your
energy and your results begin to shift.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (24:27):
That's where the magic and the legacy began.
Amber Courtney (24:29):
If this episode spoke to you, share your biggest
takeaway or journal reflectionon Instagram and tag us.
We love Senior Energyand Growth come to life.
We'll see you next week foranother episode of Luxe and Legacy.
Marie Crenwelge Tilkens (24:44):
Create from your heart, not from your fear.
We'll see you next time.
I am Marie.
Amber Courtney (24:49):
And I'm Amber.
Thanks for listening you guys.
Bye.
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