April 14, 2025 • 29 mins
Comments, questions? Let's connect!
What happens when we strip away the masks we wear and lead from a place of complete authenticity? In this profound continuation of our conversation with photographer Ksenia Bilova, we explore the transformative power of authentic leadership and the courage required to embrace our true selves.
Ksenia shares her journey from "becoming a master of masking" to discovering the freedom and power that come from genuine self-trust. "The moment you trust yourself so much, it's so much easier to trust other people and get that trust from them," she reveals. This foundation of trust creates spaces where others can explore their authentic selves without judgment—a radical shift from conventional leadership approaches.
The conversation takes a fascinating turn when we examine why authenticity often feels threatening to established systems. "It's easier to control people who live in fear than people who are empowered," Ksenia observes, highlighting how many organizational structures inadvertently suppress the very qualities they need most: creativity, innovation, and genuine engagement.
Most powerfully, Ksenia describes the potential of a world where more people embrace authenticity: "The world would be so expansive... it would be the world of creation." She paints a vision where conversations shift from complaints to "beautiful realisations," and where self-validation replaces the endless quest for external approval.
This episode offers not just inspiration but a roadmap for transformation. For anyone who has ever felt the exhaustion of pretending to be someone they're not, Ksenia's journey provides both comfort and challenge—a reminder that while the path to authenticity may begin with discomfort, it leads to unimaginable expansion.
Ready to stop masking and start leading from your authentic center? This conversation might be the catalyst you've been waiting for. Share your thoughts on social media or leave a review—we'd love to hear what resonated most with you!
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➡️https://www.kseniabelova.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jolynne Rydz (00:00):
Welcome back to the podcast.
This is part two of aconversation with Ksenia Bilova.
So if you haven't heard partone yet, pause, go back and find
it, listen to that one and thenyou can dive right back into
this one, because we are goingstraight back into our
conversation with Ksenia.
Yeah, and I love that and and Iwant to want to build on that,
(00:23):
because I think I often see inleaders and teams there's this
hesitancy to push the boundariesbecause people don't want to
come across as mean, they don'twant to hurt people, they don't
want to make them uncomfortable.
So can you talk to us moreabout that importance of just
holding that space?
Ksenia Belova (00:47):
that space.
Again, it's so hard to put itin words because it's it's all
energy.
It's that the moment you trustyourself so much, it's so much
easier to trust other people andget that trust from them.
Because, again, as you weresaying before, you saw myself
and, um, I think it was justjustine.
Justine, yeah, um, we were justout, like us, we are dancing on
(01:07):
set, we're singing on set.
We're being silly when we arebeing serious, focused.
We've been.
So we are just going with thatflow, being totally present and
adjusting with your energy.
So it's that play of thephotographic dance, if you can
get it, you know it's that playof the photographic dance, if
you can call it that.
You know, it's just really thatmovement, movement in all
(01:31):
senses.
So holding that space isholding the safe and
nonjudgmental space space.
(01:52):
So the non-judgment and safetyare the main words here.
Because I see you as a wholehuman being.
I don't look at how your hairlooks, like what you're wearing,
I see you at a core and becauseI see that and again I trust
that what I see is true, becauseagain, it's all, it's all comes
(02:14):
to trust, um, I love to pushthose boundaries gently because
I want you to see that yeah, soit's getting the person to
realize because you're holdingthat space for them.
Yes, I'm holding space and I amgiving time for things to land,
(02:42):
for the feelings to land in youand start the embodiment process
, because a photo shoot is onlythe start of that, because it's
the start of that process oflike huh, oh, maybe maybe things
can be different.
Maybe even in corporate world Idon't have to wear all the
(03:07):
black outfits and be stern andbe like a fighter, because it
all comes from a conditioning aswell.
So much comes from aconditioning and from the past,
because our role models, most ofour role models, this is what
everyone's do, everyone does,and so we just mimic it.
(03:29):
So for us it's a normal thing,it becomes a normality.
We don't, because we don't knowwhat we don't know until you
are faced with it.
So when I say pushingboundaries, it's not
unrespectfully.
I would never push boundarieslike personal boundaries in
(03:51):
terms of if you say no, it's ano, it's not that kind of
boundaries, but it's pushing youout of your comfort zone
Because, again, when you stepinto that next version of you,
this is where the whole likeit's so powerful, but it takes
time and it takes dedication aswell.
(04:12):
You need to make a decision.
I am ready, even if you're notready at the time, but usually
people who end up in my hands.
They usually, if they are withme there, it's not because I'm
special or anything, but I'mjust observing from my
experience.
Something magical happens thenand again.
(04:36):
It's so hard to explain it inwords until you experience it,
because it's that self-belief aswell.
Jolynne Rydz (04:50):
Yeah, and I am so passionate about what I do in
workplaces because I thinkimagine the energy we could
create and the impact we couldcreate across the globe if
everyone had that feeling andthat energy when they showed up
to work every day, instead ofwhat I see on the train people
commuting home absolutelyshattered from being someone
they're not and trying to put onthis face, and then just come
(05:10):
home and relax and be themselves.
How powerful is it when you cando what you're passionate about
and be yourself and know thatwithout having to be validated
by your pay, your status, yourtitle, whether you're in the
leadership team or not, howother people see you their
(05:31):
feedback like when it comes fromwithin right.
Ksenia Belova (05:33):
Yeah, but it's not convenient for the society.
Tell me more about that um well, especially big corporations
(05:54):
and um um states, and you knowpeople who want to make lots of
money and they're justtransitional.
They need workers who are easyto control.
It's easier to control peoplewho live in fear than people who
are empowered.
Jolynne Rydz (06:09):
Oh my gosh, that is so cool, but I think honestly
, I believe that that is like a,not a prevailing.
What am I saying?
I think there's a lot ofbusinesses that might operate on
that model, whether intentionalor not, but I also think maybe
we haven't seen the possibilityof this fully empowered,
(06:34):
self-confident, authenticworkforce because it's so rare.
Like, if I try and think of awhole organisation that does
that really well, I'm actuallyreally struggling, like one of
them that comes to mind, justbecause I saw something they did
yesterday was maybe theResilience Project, which is
here in Australia, where they'reall about building, basically,
(06:57):
resilience in our wholecommunity, and everyone I've
interacted from them do seem tobe their whole self, because
that's what they're teaching, Iguess.
So they get it, but I thinkit's rare.
Ksenia Belova (07:10):
It is rare and I think it.
Look, I am a believer that it ispossible and I'm a dreamer, so
I can see how it can happen notnow, but it can happen.
It all depends on the approachand on the view and the mindset
(07:34):
of the leader of the companybecause, again, if they have a
purpose, their team will leavethat purpose through them as
well and they will be happycoming to work and they will be
happy to work for a salarybecause they're making an impact
(07:57):
.
But it all depends from theleadership, because in big
corporations there are so manylayers, so the person who is in
charge, the last person theydon't even know, people who are
doing actual work, and when youdon't have that connection, when
(08:17):
you don't have thatrelationship with your people,
how can you expect that yourpeople will want to willingly
work with you?
Because, again, for some people, some people are driven for
with by money and which is fine,but a lot of people they need
to know that they're doing likeyou're spending most of your day
(08:39):
at work, at least if you knowthat you're doing it for a
purpose, that you are helpingsomeone, but it all.
I think it's so important forthe leadership team, for hr um,
like in big corporations, toreally acknowledge their
employees, their team, andlisten to them, what they want,
(09:04):
what they need because they willget more of them, because it's
a different energy.
Jolynne Rydz (09:12):
Yeah, it is.
It goes from this I have to dothis, this obligation energy
which kind of puts you in aspace of fear, like if I don't
do this there will beconsequences.
Oh my gosh, I'm so excitedabout this.
Let's do everything we can tomake it happen.
Like it just I don't know.
It seems so clear to me, but Idon't know that it's clear to
(09:34):
everyone.
Ksenia Belova (09:40):
It's clear for those who want to see it.
Jolynne Rydz (09:43):
So invitation here is to step in, step into this
energy of being authentic withyourself but also recognizing
the value of allowing others tobe that too, even if it's
something uncomfortable for youor something awkward or new.
It really comes from this placeof almost service and trust.
(10:03):
Really.
Ksenia Belova (10:04):
Yeah, because people are craving connection,
real connection, and it doesn'tmatter what job you're doing,
everyone wants to be valued.
Ask them how is their lifegoing?
What's happening in that?
But be human, I mean.
For me it seems such a such a.
(10:26):
You know, I take it almost forgranted.
Not for granted, but like it'ssuch a normal thing, because
obviously, like that's how Iapproach my life and everyone
around me as well.
But it's that human aspect ofactually caring about people and
(10:47):
being kind.
It seems so easy but it's not.
Jolynne Rydz (10:52):
As you're talking, I'm wondering, like, because I
think most people will want tobe kind and caring, but there's
something that stops them.
So I'm curious to know, like,what gave you the courage to
just just be you and to be kindand caring, regardless of what
you maybe thought might theconsequences might be?
Ksenia Belova (11:14):
I think I um touched the rock bottom, um, in
my life at a certain stage whereI was so much in conflict with
myself.
I hated myself, I hated the wayI looked and there was nothing
wrong with me, like I'm lookingat the photos, like, come on the
(11:36):
the way, like I was soabandoning myself and being such
a people pleaser withoutthinking of what actually I need
.
And I've touched the bottom andI think I had to go down that
lane.
Because when you touch thebottom, when you arrive to that
(11:58):
point of the turning point, thepivotal point, when you're like,
okay, do you want to continueto live in this misery and just
live your life around whatpeople want you to be and to do
and you completely neglectyourself and lacking
self-respect and self-love andnot fighting for your rights and
(12:21):
not speaking up.
Do you want to choose that path?
Yeah, okay, go for it.
Or do you want to flip itBecause there is something else
out there?
There are so many possibilitiesand I chose the second one and I
(12:41):
got the courage because Ididn't want to do so.
I was going away from ittowards the abundance, from the
scarcity to abundance.
I was going away from itbecause I did not want to feel
that way anymore.
I started to to um, to do somuch work on myself and it was
(13:04):
so hard because I've realizedhow much I was lying to myself
and, as a consequence, to otherstoo lying not in terms of lying
, but more um, just not notbeing me.
Maybe superficially people sawme still as me because I could
fake it really really well.
(13:26):
I became a master of masking.
Jolynne Rydz (13:30):
A master of masking.
Oh, I reckon I've done that tooin the past.
Yeah, that's a bit ADHD Likethe chameleon.
Ksenia Belova (13:40):
Now I don't like.
If I need to mask, I can.
I know I can do it, so I havelearned that skin skill.
But I don't have to If I don'tlike you.
I'm not going to tell you inyour face that I don't like you,
but I'll just walk away.
I don't have time now to dealwith things that are not aligned
with me, with people who arenot aligned with me.
(14:02):
I am very, very strict on myown boundaries with me.
I am very, very strict on myown boundaries.
I'm respecting them so much nowbecause I can't go back,
because I am my own best friend.
If I don't look after myself,no one will.
I'm getting validation frommyself, not from outside, which
(14:25):
I used to do, and so youconstantly crave that, crave
that, crave that and you thinkit gives you confidence, because
you get praise and you feel itfeels good.
But it's all on a superficiallevel.
Jolynne Rydz (14:39):
Yeah, it's false confidence.
Ksenia Belova (14:41):
It's false confidence.
Jolynne Rydz (14:42):
False worth.
Ksenia Belova (14:43):
Yeah, and the courage comes when you really
make a decision and you're like,okay, let's just do it, let's
go all in.
I didn't even think of will Ifail.
How does it look like I did notcare, I just went for it,
that's it.
I didn't, I didn't overthink.
(15:03):
I'm like, okay, that's it,that's the point.
Let let's go from this.
This is probably about sixyears ago, maybe seven years ago
.
This is where I started toreally transform my mind and
doing the work and working withcoaches and, yeah, reprogram my
brain completely.
(15:24):
Yeah, reprogram my braincompletely, because I was so
insecure and living in such avictim mode and blaming my past
for the way I am.
You know, I grew up like this,I had these traumas, blah, blah,
blah.
Jolynne Rydz (15:42):
So I'm entitled to behave like this, which, seeing
that and accepting that was sohard yeah because that that was
the way I lived all my life yeah, because I think there's this
really confronting realizationisn't there of when you because
(16:03):
at times you are a victim from apersecutor, whether that's like
you know a mental, emotional,physical of when you because at
times you are a victim from apersecutor, whether that's like
you know a mental, emotional,physical but when you realize
you're the one keeping yourselfas a victim is pretty, pretty
bloody, confronting.
Like how am I numbing myselffrom this and am I ready to stop
living this way?
Ksenia Belova (16:21):
it's a pretty big realization it is.
But it was also a good excusebecause it was really hard to
let go of that victim mode,because it means I had to change
my identity, because I had tostep into something that was so
my victim mode.
(16:42):
Identity was my safe space.
I knew how to swim in that spaceyeah and and changing that I
didn't deciding to, then, okay,I'm ready to let go of it.
That was really hard, becausethen you don't have your safety
boat anymore.
(17:03):
You can't, you can't makeexcuses anymore.
It takes a lot of strength anda lot of peeling down the layers
and you keep peeling andpeeling and peeling and it hurts
, um, because again it's a lotof grief.
You're letting go of literallyall these versions of you that
(17:26):
you don't want to see anymoreand you don't want to be yeah,
and taking, taking, like stillhonoring that journey and taking
the learnings from it as well.
Jolynne Rydz (17:38):
It's like when I get to this point with my
clients, I don't get there withall of my clients because not
all of them are ready or wantingto do this work, but the ones
that do, oh my gosh, it gives metingles about just the
transformation that they get.
It's so, so beautiful to see.
So I'm so pleased that youshared this.
I could talk about this all day.
(17:59):
I'm purposely not going to butthat whole you know identity and
that you know, facing the factthat you might need to change
your identity is really massive,and having support to
understand how to do that in areally safe and beautiful way
which still might beuncomfortable and still might
have the pain of that grieving,but you know you have someone to
(18:22):
help you get there to the otherside is so powerful.
Oh okay, where do we go fromhere?
So I would love to hear yourperspective, like where can you
see things going?
This is a really broad question, but if more and more people
really stepped into thatauthentic self, that confidence,
(18:47):
that self-validation, anddeciding to no longer live the
way that they were because itwas causing them too much misery
, and deciding to really takecontrol and see how they can
live that life purpose Like ifmore and more people did all of
that, what do you think couldhappen?
Ksenia Belova (19:08):
the world would be so expensive oh, I love that
word and so beautiful becauseit's that feeling of fulfillment
and self-love, because it takesa lot of self-love to do that.
(19:29):
It's just the whole world wouldreflect that beautiful feeling
of love.
Yeah, and can you imaginepeople like the conversations
that people would have?
They wouldn't complain.
Would have, they wouldn'tcomplain, they would be just
(19:52):
sharing those beautifulrealizations.
the feelings, the growth again,the expansion and the dreams,
instead of sitting and gossipingand like just talking
negatively about things, aboutyou know states, parliament,
whatever you know politics oreven their personal life, like
the conversations would be sobeautiful because I'm leaving
(20:15):
this in my inner circle andouter circle, because we don't
talk about complaining or likewe just it's not, it's not part
of, it's not even in our systemanymore.
Um, so it's that it would bethe world of creation.
Jolynne Rydz (20:37):
Oh, wow.
And doesn't everyone want tocreate somewhere in their heart,
even if it's like the garden,or a painting or a cake?
It doesn't always have to beyour career, but no it would be
so.
Ksenia Belova (20:49):
There would be so much more inspiration, beauty
creation, because we can onlycreate fully when we are in that
beautiful space of peace,presence and feeling whole.
Jolynne Rydz (21:15):
That was such a beautiful, beautiful way to
describe it and I think I wantto leave it at that point.
Normally I get a bit more, youknow, tactical for people, so I
make it more tangible.
But I think it's nice to kindof just leave that open so
people can just dwell on whatthat would look like for them.
So I would love to segue intoour swift seven questions.
(21:40):
And so these ones, don'toverthink them, just first thing
that comes to mind, nothing'sright or wrong.
So question number one is inyourthink them?
Just first thing that comes tomind, nothing's right or wrong.
So question number one is inyour view, what are three words
that describe an?
Ksenia Belova (21:52):
ideal leader, authentic Human.
Jolynne Rydz (22:02):
Directional.
Oh wait, wait, I have to pause.
Ksenia Belova (22:09):
I know I said this was swift, but what do you
mean by directional?
Directional in terms of theyhave to have a direction to
guide people.
Of where these people need togo.
So very straight communicator,but also having an inside
(22:34):
direction of like as a biggerpicture, not just the.
I don't know, it was to theword that came down.
Jolynne Rydz (22:39):
I just wanted to kind of like purpose and
intention and in a certaindirection I love, love it,
beautiful, all right.
So question two is fill in theblank.
Magnetic authenticity isVulnerability.
Yes, when you notice yourselftrying to fit in, what's the
(23:00):
first thing that you do?
Ksenia Belova (23:03):
Fake it till, you make it.
Yeah.
Jolynne Rydz (23:07):
What's a song that gets you really pumped?
Don't stop me now oh yes, don'tyou remember it's so good,
isn't it all right?
Number five what's the mostdaring thing you've ever done?
Daring in what sense?
Ksenia Belova (23:31):
um courageous courageous um swimming with well
, apart from two immigrations,yeah, swimming with whale sharks
in western australia oh wow,that would have me scared for
sure.
Jolynne Rydz (23:50):
was it nice, was it?
How was it?
It was amazing, I had so manyfeelings.
Ksenia Belova (23:57):
I had anxiety, I had fear, but also excitement,
which then I realized in thatmoment that that anxiety and
excitement are actually the samefeeling.
It's just it depends whatdefinition you give to them.
Jolynne Rydz (24:13):
Yes, oh, that's such a powerful realization.
That's another, that's a wholenother podcast.
All right, number six.
Do you have a favorite quote ormantra that you live by?
Ksenia Belova (24:25):
You are worth being seen.
Jolynne Rydz (24:28):
Oh, that just describes everything we've just
talked about, isn't it?
Oh, you're worth being seen.
I love that All right.
So final question, which iswhat's one small thing that
brings you incredible joy?
Ksenia Belova (24:42):
Dancing.
Jolynne Rydz (24:43):
Oh, yes, me too.
So much fun, Wow, this has beena such a wonderful conversation
, like even more wonderful thanI thought it was going to be.
So thank you.
If our listeners want toconnect with you or want to
explore what brandingphotography would look like for
them, where can they find you?
Ksenia Belova (25:04):
The easiest thing is just to jump on Google and
type in my name, Ksenia Belova,and then you will have all my
links, all my websites, socials,linkedin.
That's easy.
So that's actually part of thepersonal brand and I'll give you
.
Can I give a little task to thelisteners?
Yeah, please do so.
(25:24):
If you want to check how yourpersonal brand looks online,
google your name and see whatcomes up, yes, and ask yourself
questions Are you happy with howit looks like or is there room
for improvement?
Yeah, I love that.
Jolynne Rydz (25:46):
Oh, okay, I'm going to go do it as soon as we
hang up, because I haven't doneit in a long time.
Well, thank you so much forjoining us on the podcast.
It's been truly incredible, andI hope and trust that somewhere
out there, people have justfound a nugget and have gone.
Oh yes, that's it and it'sclicked for them, and I think
(26:06):
that's what comes from just youbeing you and leaning into your
sole purpose, as you said.
So, thank you so much forjoining us.
Ksenia Belova (26:13):
Thank you so muchelene.
It was, um, yeah, it was sobeautiful, and I just love this
kind of conversations that youknow, again, going with the flow
, like you have some ideas whenwe're going and then you might
just go another direction, andthis is where it's that being
present and being fully open towhatever comes.
(26:36):
How beautiful is it?
Jolynne Rydz (26:37):
It was beautiful, thank you.
Ksenia Belova (26:40):
Thank you for having me.
Jolynne Rydz (26:44):
Oh, I trust that you found so many amazing
moments and aha moments andinsights from that conversation.
Here are a few that arestanding out for me the moment
you trust yourself so much, it'sso much easier to trust other
people and get that trust fromthem.
(27:04):
Wow, trust is so fundamental toleadership and it was really
nice to hear Ksenia explain theimportance of that trust,
starting with yourself.
How many of us truly trustourselves?
Another one is safety and thatneed for non-judgment and seeing
(27:25):
someone as a whole human.
If we all did that as leaders,there would be some really real
conversations that would go onin workplaces that help avoid
some of the challenging and somany of the challenging
situations that I see.
And it's easier to controlpeople who are in fear than
people who are empowered.
(27:46):
That was a big one and I thinkit's one to really ponder on,
because so much of ourstructures in organizations are
about control for good intent,it's because we want to reduce
risk or we want to get the bestoutcome we can, but sometimes
these controlling factors canactually limit people's real
(28:09):
value add, where they can justbe themselves and absolutely
shine without the bureaucracy ofit.
So it's a such a wonderfulquestion that I would love for
you to ponder, and there are somany more.
I'd love for you to reach outand share what's come up for you
from this episode and untilnext time, remember you were
born for a reason.
(28:30):
It's time to thrive.
Welcome back to the podcast.
This is part two of aconversation with Ksenia Bilova.
So if you haven't heard partone yet, pause, go back and find
it, listen to that one and thenyou can dive right back into
this one, because we are goingstraight back into our
conversation with Ksenia.
Yeah, and I love that and and Iwant to want to build on that,
(00:23):
because I think I often see inleaders and teams there's this
hesitancy to push the boundariesbecause people don't want to
come across as mean, they don'twant to hurt people, they don't
want to make them uncomfortable.
So can you talk to us moreabout that importance of just
holding that space?
Ksenia Belova (00:47):
that space.
Again, it's so hard to put itin words because it's it's all
energy.
It's that the moment you trustyourself so much, it's so much
easier to trust other people andget that trust from them.
Because, again, as you weresaying before, you saw myself
and, um, I think it was justjustine.
Justine, yeah, um, we were justout, like us, we are dancing on
(01:07):
set, we're singing on set.
We're being silly when we arebeing serious, focused.
We've been.
So we are just going with thatflow, being totally present and
adjusting with your energy.
So it's that play of thephotographic dance, if you can
get it, you know it's that playof the photographic dance, if
you can call it that.
You know, it's just really thatmovement, movement in all
(01:31):
senses.
So holding that space isholding the safe and
nonjudgmental space space.
(01:52):
So the non-judgment and safetyare the main words here.
Because I see you as a wholehuman being.
I don't look at how your hairlooks, like what you're wearing,
I see you at a core and becauseI see that and again I trust
that what I see is true, becauseagain, it's all, it's all comes
(02:14):
to trust, um, I love to pushthose boundaries gently because
I want you to see that yeah, soit's getting the person to
realize because you're holdingthat space for them.
Yes, I'm holding space and I amgiving time for things to land,
(02:42):
for the feelings to land in youand start the embodiment process
, because a photo shoot is onlythe start of that, because it's
the start of that process oflike huh, oh, maybe maybe things
can be different.
Maybe even in corporate world Idon't have to wear all the
(03:07):
black outfits and be stern andbe like a fighter, because it
all comes from a conditioning aswell.
So much comes from aconditioning and from the past,
because our role models, most ofour role models, this is what
everyone's do, everyone does,and so we just mimic it.
(03:29):
So for us it's a normal thing,it becomes a normality.
We don't, because we don't knowwhat we don't know until you
are faced with it.
So when I say pushingboundaries, it's not
unrespectfully.
I would never push boundarieslike personal boundaries in
(03:51):
terms of if you say no, it's ano, it's not that kind of
boundaries, but it's pushing youout of your comfort zone
Because, again, when you stepinto that next version of you,
this is where the whole likeit's so powerful, but it takes
time and it takes dedication aswell.
(04:12):
You need to make a decision.
I am ready, even if you're notready at the time, but usually
people who end up in my hands.
They usually, if they are withme there, it's not because I'm
special or anything, but I'mjust observing from my
experience.
Something magical happens thenand again.
(04:36):
It's so hard to explain it inwords until you experience it,
because it's that self-belief aswell.
Jolynne Rydz (04:50):
Yeah, and I am so passionate about what I do in
workplaces because I thinkimagine the energy we could
create and the impact we couldcreate across the globe if
everyone had that feeling andthat energy when they showed up
to work every day, instead ofwhat I see on the train people
commuting home absolutelyshattered from being someone
they're not and trying to put onthis face, and then just come
(05:10):
home and relax and be themselves.
How powerful is it when you cando what you're passionate about
and be yourself and know thatwithout having to be validated
by your pay, your status, yourtitle, whether you're in the
leadership team or not, howother people see you their
(05:31):
feedback like when it comes fromwithin right.
Ksenia Belova (05:33):
Yeah, but it's not convenient for the society.
Tell me more about that um well, especially big corporations
(05:54):
and um um states, and you knowpeople who want to make lots of
money and they're justtransitional.
They need workers who are easyto control.
It's easier to control peoplewho live in fear than people who
are empowered.
Jolynne Rydz (06:09):
Oh my gosh, that is so cool, but I think honestly
, I believe that that is like a,not a prevailing.
What am I saying?
I think there's a lot ofbusinesses that might operate on
that model, whether intentionalor not, but I also think maybe
we haven't seen the possibilityof this fully empowered,
(06:34):
self-confident, authenticworkforce because it's so rare.
Like, if I try and think of awhole organisation that does
that really well, I'm actuallyreally struggling, like one of
them that comes to mind, justbecause I saw something they did
yesterday was maybe theResilience Project, which is
here in Australia, where they'reall about building, basically,
(06:57):
resilience in our wholecommunity, and everyone I've
interacted from them do seem tobe their whole self, because
that's what they're teaching, Iguess.
So they get it, but I thinkit's rare.
Ksenia Belova (07:10):
It is rare and I think it.
Look, I am a believer that it ispossible and I'm a dreamer, so
I can see how it can happen notnow, but it can happen.
It all depends on the approachand on the view and the mindset
(07:34):
of the leader of the companybecause, again, if they have a
purpose, their team will leavethat purpose through them as
well and they will be happycoming to work and they will be
happy to work for a salarybecause they're making an impact
(07:57):
.
But it all depends from theleadership, because in big
corporations there are so manylayers, so the person who is in
charge, the last person theydon't even know, people who are
doing actual work, and when youdon't have that connection, when
(08:17):
you don't have thatrelationship with your people,
how can you expect that yourpeople will want to willingly
work with you?
Because, again, for some people, some people are driven for
with by money and which is fine,but a lot of people they need
to know that they're doing likeyou're spending most of your day
(08:39):
at work, at least if you knowthat you're doing it for a
purpose, that you are helpingsomeone, but it all.
I think it's so important forthe leadership team, for hr um,
like in big corporations, toreally acknowledge their
employees, their team, andlisten to them, what they want,
(09:04):
what they need because they willget more of them, because it's
a different energy.
Jolynne Rydz (09:12):
Yeah, it is.
It goes from this I have to dothis, this obligation energy
which kind of puts you in aspace of fear, like if I don't
do this there will beconsequences.
Oh my gosh, I'm so excitedabout this.
Let's do everything we can tomake it happen.
Like it just I don't know.
It seems so clear to me, but Idon't know that it's clear to
(09:34):
everyone.
Ksenia Belova (09:40):
It's clear for those who want to see it.
Jolynne Rydz (09:43):
So invitation here is to step in, step into this
energy of being authentic withyourself but also recognizing
the value of allowing others tobe that too, even if it's
something uncomfortable for youor something awkward or new.
It really comes from this placeof almost service and trust.
(10:03):
Really.
Ksenia Belova (10:04):
Yeah, because people are craving connection,
real connection, and it doesn'tmatter what job you're doing,
everyone wants to be valued.
Ask them how is their lifegoing?
What's happening in that?
But be human, I mean.
For me it seems such a such a.
(10:26):
You know, I take it almost forgranted.
Not for granted, but like it'ssuch a normal thing, because
obviously, like that's how Iapproach my life and everyone
around me as well.
But it's that human aspect ofactually caring about people and
(10:47):
being kind.
It seems so easy but it's not.
Jolynne Rydz (10:52):
As you're talking, I'm wondering, like, because I
think most people will want tobe kind and caring, but there's
something that stops them.
So I'm curious to know, like,what gave you the courage to
just just be you and to be kindand caring, regardless of what
you maybe thought might theconsequences might be?
Ksenia Belova (11:14):
I think I um touched the rock bottom, um, in
my life at a certain stage whereI was so much in conflict with
myself.
I hated myself, I hated the wayI looked and there was nothing
wrong with me, like I'm lookingat the photos, like, come on the
(11:36):
the way, like I was soabandoning myself and being such
a people pleaser withoutthinking of what actually I need
.
And I've touched the bottom andI think I had to go down that
lane.
Because when you touch thebottom, when you arrive to that
(11:58):
point of the turning point, thepivotal point, when you're like,
okay, do you want to continueto live in this misery and just
live your life around whatpeople want you to be and to do
and you completely neglectyourself and lacking
self-respect and self-love andnot fighting for your rights and
(12:21):
not speaking up.
Do you want to choose that path?
Yeah, okay, go for it.
Or do you want to flip itBecause there is something else
out there?
There are so many possibilitiesand I chose the second one and I
(12:41):
got the courage because Ididn't want to do so.
I was going away from ittowards the abundance, from the
scarcity to abundance.
I was going away from itbecause I did not want to feel
that way anymore.
I started to to um, to do somuch work on myself and it was
(13:04):
so hard because I've realizedhow much I was lying to myself
and, as a consequence, to otherstoo lying not in terms of lying
, but more um, just not notbeing me.
Maybe superficially people sawme still as me because I could
fake it really really well.
(13:26):
I became a master of masking.
Jolynne Rydz (13:30):
A master of masking.
Oh, I reckon I've done that tooin the past.
Yeah, that's a bit ADHD Likethe chameleon.
Ksenia Belova (13:40):
Now I don't like.
If I need to mask, I can.
I know I can do it, so I havelearned that skin skill.
But I don't have to If I don'tlike you.
I'm not going to tell you inyour face that I don't like you,
but I'll just walk away.
I don't have time now to dealwith things that are not aligned
with me, with people who arenot aligned with me.
(14:02):
I am very, very strict on myown boundaries with me.
I am very, very strict on myown boundaries.
I'm respecting them so much nowbecause I can't go back,
because I am my own best friend.
If I don't look after myself,no one will.
I'm getting validation frommyself, not from outside, which
(14:25):
I used to do, and so youconstantly crave that, crave
that, crave that and you thinkit gives you confidence, because
you get praise and you feel itfeels good.
But it's all on a superficiallevel.
Jolynne Rydz (14:39):
Yeah, it's false confidence.
Ksenia Belova (14:41):
It's false confidence.
Jolynne Rydz (14:42):
False worth.
Ksenia Belova (14:43):
Yeah, and the courage comes when you really
make a decision and you're like,okay, let's just do it, let's
go all in.
I didn't even think of will Ifail.
How does it look like I did notcare, I just went for it,
that's it.
I didn't, I didn't overthink.
(15:03):
I'm like, okay, that's it,that's the point.
Let let's go from this.
This is probably about sixyears ago, maybe seven years ago
.
This is where I started toreally transform my mind and
doing the work and working withcoaches and, yeah, reprogram my
brain completely.
(15:24):
Yeah, reprogram my braincompletely, because I was so
insecure and living in such avictim mode and blaming my past
for the way I am.
You know, I grew up like this,I had these traumas, blah, blah,
blah.
Jolynne Rydz (15:42):
So I'm entitled to behave like this, which, seeing
that and accepting that was sohard yeah because that that was
the way I lived all my life yeah, because I think there's this
really confronting realizationisn't there of when you because
(16:03):
at times you are a victim from apersecutor, whether that's like
you know a mental, emotional,physical of when you because at
times you are a victim from apersecutor, whether that's like
you know a mental, emotional,physical but when you realize
you're the one keeping yourselfas a victim is pretty, pretty
bloody, confronting.
Like how am I numbing myselffrom this and am I ready to stop
living this way?
Ksenia Belova (16:21):
it's a pretty big realization it is.
But it was also a good excusebecause it was really hard to
let go of that victim mode,because it means I had to change
my identity, because I had tostep into something that was so
my victim mode.
(16:42):
Identity was my safe space.
I knew how to swim in that spaceyeah and and changing that I
didn't deciding to, then, okay,I'm ready to let go of it.
That was really hard, becausethen you don't have your safety
boat anymore.
(17:03):
You can't, you can't makeexcuses anymore.
It takes a lot of strength anda lot of peeling down the layers
and you keep peeling andpeeling and peeling and it hurts
, um, because again it's a lotof grief.
You're letting go of literallyall these versions of you that
(17:26):
you don't want to see anymoreand you don't want to be yeah,
and taking, taking, like stillhonoring that journey and taking
the learnings from it as well.
Jolynne Rydz (17:38):
It's like when I get to this point with my
clients, I don't get there withall of my clients because not
all of them are ready or wantingto do this work, but the ones
that do, oh my gosh, it gives metingles about just the
transformation that they get.
It's so, so beautiful to see.
So I'm so pleased that youshared this.
I could talk about this all day.
(17:59):
I'm purposely not going to butthat whole you know identity and
that you know, facing the factthat you might need to change
your identity is really massive,and having support to
understand how to do that in areally safe and beautiful way
which still might beuncomfortable and still might
have the pain of that grieving,but you know you have someone to
(18:22):
help you get there to the otherside is so powerful.
Oh okay, where do we go fromhere?
So I would love to hear yourperspective, like where can you
see things going?
This is a really broad question, but if more and more people
really stepped into thatauthentic self, that confidence,
(18:47):
that self-validation, anddeciding to no longer live the
way that they were because itwas causing them too much misery
, and deciding to really takecontrol and see how they can
live that life purpose Like ifmore and more people did all of
that, what do you think couldhappen?
Ksenia Belova (19:08):
the world would be so expensive oh, I love that
word and so beautiful becauseit's that feeling of fulfillment
and self-love, because it takesa lot of self-love to do that.
(19:29):
It's just the whole world wouldreflect that beautiful feeling
of love.
Yeah, and can you imaginepeople like the conversations
that people would have?
They wouldn't complain.
Would have, they wouldn'tcomplain, they would be just
(19:52):
sharing those beautifulrealizations.
the feelings, the growth again,the expansion and the dreams,
instead of sitting and gossipingand like just talking
negatively about things, aboutyou know states, parliament,
whatever you know politics oreven their personal life, like
the conversations would be sobeautiful because I'm leaving
(20:15):
this in my inner circle andouter circle, because we don't
talk about complaining or likewe just it's not, it's not part
of, it's not even in our systemanymore.
Um, so it's that it would bethe world of creation.
Jolynne Rydz (20:37):
Oh, wow.
And doesn't everyone want tocreate somewhere in their heart,
even if it's like the garden,or a painting or a cake?
It doesn't always have to beyour career, but no it would be
so.
Ksenia Belova (20:49):
There would be so much more inspiration, beauty
creation, because we can onlycreate fully when we are in that
beautiful space of peace,presence and feeling whole.
Jolynne Rydz (21:15):
That was such a beautiful, beautiful way to
describe it and I think I wantto leave it at that point.
Normally I get a bit more, youknow, tactical for people, so I
make it more tangible.
But I think it's nice to kindof just leave that open so
people can just dwell on whatthat would look like for them.
So I would love to segue intoour swift seven questions.
(21:40):
And so these ones, don'toverthink them, just first thing
that comes to mind, nothing'sright or wrong.
So question number one is inyourthink them?
Just first thing that comes tomind, nothing's right or wrong.
So question number one is inyour view, what are three words
that describe an?
Ksenia Belova (21:52):
ideal leader, authentic Human.
Jolynne Rydz (22:02):
Directional.
Oh wait, wait, I have to pause.
Ksenia Belova (22:09):
I know I said this was swift, but what do you
mean by directional?
Directional in terms of theyhave to have a direction to
guide people.
Of where these people need togo.
So very straight communicator,but also having an inside
(22:34):
direction of like as a biggerpicture, not just the.
I don't know, it was to theword that came down.
Jolynne Rydz (22:39):
I just wanted to kind of like purpose and
intention and in a certaindirection I love, love it,
beautiful, all right.
So question two is fill in theblank.
Magnetic authenticity isVulnerability.
Yes, when you notice yourselftrying to fit in, what's the
(23:00):
first thing that you do?
Ksenia Belova (23:03):
Fake it till, you make it.
Yeah.
Jolynne Rydz (23:07):
What's a song that gets you really pumped?
Don't stop me now oh yes, don'tyou remember it's so good,
isn't it all right?
Number five what's the mostdaring thing you've ever done?
Daring in what sense?
Ksenia Belova (23:31):
um courageous courageous um swimming with well
, apart from two immigrations,yeah, swimming with whale sharks
in western australia oh wow,that would have me scared for
sure.
Jolynne Rydz (23:50):
was it nice, was it?
How was it?
It was amazing, I had so manyfeelings.
Ksenia Belova (23:57):
I had anxiety, I had fear, but also excitement,
which then I realized in thatmoment that that anxiety and
excitement are actually the samefeeling.
It's just it depends whatdefinition you give to them.
Jolynne Rydz (24:13):
Yes, oh, that's such a powerful realization.
That's another, that's a wholenother podcast.
All right, number six.
Do you have a favorite quote ormantra that you live by?
Ksenia Belova (24:25):
You are worth being seen.
Jolynne Rydz (24:28):
Oh, that just describes everything we've just
talked about, isn't it?
Oh, you're worth being seen.
I love that All right.
So final question, which iswhat's one small thing that
brings you incredible joy?
Ksenia Belova (24:42):
Dancing.
Jolynne Rydz (24:43):
Oh, yes, me too.
So much fun, Wow, this has beena such a wonderful conversation
, like even more wonderful thanI thought it was going to be.
So thank you.
If our listeners want toconnect with you or want to
explore what brandingphotography would look like for
them, where can they find you?
Ksenia Belova (25:04):
The easiest thing is just to jump on Google and
type in my name, Ksenia Belova,and then you will have all my
links, all my websites, socials,linkedin.
That's easy.
So that's actually part of thepersonal brand and I'll give you
.
Can I give a little task to thelisteners?
Yeah, please do so.
(25:24):
If you want to check how yourpersonal brand looks online,
google your name and see whatcomes up, yes, and ask yourself
questions Are you happy with howit looks like or is there room
for improvement?
Yeah, I love that.
Jolynne Rydz (25:46):
Oh, okay, I'm going to go do it as soon as we
hang up, because I haven't doneit in a long time.
Well, thank you so much forjoining us on the podcast.
It's been truly incredible, andI hope and trust that somewhere
out there, people have justfound a nugget and have gone.
Oh yes, that's it and it'sclicked for them, and I think
(26:06):
that's what comes from just youbeing you and leaning into your
sole purpose, as you said.
So, thank you so much forjoining us.
Ksenia Belova (26:13):
Thank you so muchelene.
It was, um, yeah, it was sobeautiful, and I just love this
kind of conversations that youknow, again, going with the flow
, like you have some ideas whenwe're going and then you might
just go another direction, andthis is where it's that being
present and being fully open towhatever comes.
(26:36):
How beautiful is it?
Jolynne Rydz (26:37):
It was beautiful, thank you.
Ksenia Belova (26:40):
Thank you for having me.
Jolynne Rydz (26:44):
Oh, I trust that you found so many amazing
moments and aha moments andinsights from that conversation.
Here are a few that arestanding out for me the moment
you trust yourself so much, it'sso much easier to trust other
people and get that trust fromthem.
(27:04):
Wow, trust is so fundamental toleadership and it was really
nice to hear Ksenia explain theimportance of that trust,
starting with yourself.
How many of us truly trustourselves?
Another one is safety and thatneed for non-judgment and seeing
(27:25):
someone as a whole human.
If we all did that as leaders,there would be some really real
conversations that would go onin workplaces that help avoid
some of the challenging and somany of the challenging
situations that I see.
And it's easier to controlpeople who are in fear than
people who are empowered.
(27:46):
That was a big one and I thinkit's one to really ponder on,
because so much of ourstructures in organizations are
about control for good intent,it's because we want to reduce
risk or we want to get the bestoutcome we can, but sometimes
these controlling factors canactually limit people's real
(28:09):
value add, where they can justbe themselves and absolutely
shine without the bureaucracy ofit.
So it's a such a wonderfulquestion that I would love for
you to ponder, and there are somany more.
I'd love for you to reach outand share what's come up for you
from this episode and untilnext time, remember you were
born for a reason.
(28:30):
It's time to thrive.
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