Comments, questions? Let's connect!
What if everything we've been taught about diversity, equity, and inclusion is only the beginning of the journey? In this thought-provoking episode, we challenge the traditional DEI paradigm and propose something more transformative: empowering authenticity.
For over 70 years, we've been working on inclusion initiatives, yet discrimination persists. Why? Because approaches centered solely on DEI often trigger fear—fear of difference, fear of loss, fear of the unknown. When fear enters the equation, our primitive brains activate protective responses that undermine even the most well-intentioned efforts.
The concept of inclusion itself presupposes a "normal" majority that others need to be invited into—a fundamentally flawed premise when you consider that what we perceive as the majority actually represents only a small percentage of humanity. This framework keeps individuals with diverse backgrounds in a perpetual state of feeling like guests rather than essential contributors.
The GAPPS framework (Gratitude, Appreciation, Perception, Perspective and Shine) offers a practical pathway beyond inclusion to true empowerment. Like a bird that's been caged for years, simply opening the door isn't enough; we need to help each other feel safe enough to fly and explore our full potential.
For individuals who've faced discrimination, this approach provides tools to move from victim to victor mindset. For leaders and organisations, it offers strategies to create environments where authenticity can flourish and everyone can contribute their unique strengths—which science tells us are as individual as our fingerprints.
✨✨✨Ready to move beyond inclusion and Empower Authenticity? ✨✨✨
➡️Connect with me on LinkedIn and DM me the word "GAPPS" to receive a free guide on implementing the GAPPS framework in your own life, OR
➡️Book a complimentary consultation to explore how you can Empower Authenticity in your leadership and organisation.
References:
Campbell-Stephens, R. (2022).
Global majority: Decentring whiteness in educational leadership.
In M. Green & S. R. Santamaría (Eds.), Decentering Whiteness in Education: A Multidisciplinary Approach (pp. 93–108). Peter Lang Publishing.
Meltzoff, A. N., & Gilliam, W. S. (2024). Young children & implicit racial biases. Dædalus, 153(1), 65–83. https://doi.org/
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I am a Confidence and Success Coach for leaders, Organisational Development Consultant and independent Leadership Circle Profile® Certified Practitioner. Information shared about this tool is courtesy of Leadership Circle®, all rights reserved.
inclusion is the goal, but whatif it's just the first step?
What if focusing on D, e and Iis actually costing us a lot and
is costing us and forcing us tobe stuck and unable to move
forward?
Where people are bickeringabout what one party is losing
(00:26):
when another party gains, it's agive and take.
It's a take and take scenariorather than a win-win.
Today, I want to challenge thisnarrative of us needing to
invite people in, to beinclusive, of people needing to
(00:47):
be invited in to feel accepted,to feel like they have equal
opportunity, to feel like theycan use and do what they were
born to do and use all of theirstrengths without all of this
systemic barriers and inequityand privilege.
See, if you know me, you know Ioften talk about empowerment,
(01:12):
and true empowerment is notabout waiting for someone else
to let you in the door.
It's about creating your owndoor and going through it, and I
truly believe that's what weare all here to do.
We are all here to shift andshape things in our own unique
way and too often we're waitingfor permission in air quotes for
(01:38):
the majority again, air quotesto let us in the door, to go and
make that difference, to feelappreciated, to feel like our
strengths are valued, and we'relooking for that in the wrong
place.
Now, growing up, I've oftenwondered whether I didn't get
(02:00):
the job.
I didn't get that promotion.
I didn't get paid equally assomeone else doing the same role
.
I didn't get the job.
I didn't get that promotion.
I didn't get paid equally assomeone else doing the same role
.
I didn't get that social invite.
Did I not get it?
Because I'm a woman, becauseI'm Asian, because I'm a mother
(02:21):
and I have young kids, becauseI'm introverted, because I'm
younger than I actually look?
No other way.
I look younger than I actuallyam.
So have you ever wonderedthings about yourself and
whether they have actually heldyou back from your opportunities
(02:43):
, the places you've wanted to be, the groups that you've wanted
to be a part of, the events thatyou've wanted to be included in
?
See, diversity, equity,inclusion, diversity.
Let me unpack it and then letme tell you why it's time to
move beyond it.
I'm not saying we disregard it.
I'm saying we have to move astep forward from there.
(03:05):
It's not enough to stop there.
So diversity is about bringingpeople together, the people with
different backgrounds,different identities and
experiences.
Equity is all about making surethat everyone has a fair chance
as fair of a chance as someoneelse, and that means
acknowledging that we don't allstart from the same place.
(03:27):
And inclusion is about creatingthose safe spaces where people
feel genuinely valued andrespected and feel like they
belong.
So all of this sounds great onpaper and a lot of the times,
there's a lot of organizationsdoing a lot of great work in
this space, but there's onething that I haven't heard
(03:49):
people talking about, and forquite some time now, I've been
sitting here wondering should Isay it, should I not?
Should I say it, should I not?
I'm just going to say it now.
Okay, we need to move beyond D,e and I, because all of those
three things, all of them,trigger fear, and when we
(04:12):
trigger fear, we get people inthe mindset of thinking I'm
about to lose or I'm about to beunsafe, I'm about to be harmed,
something about me is going tochange in a negative way.
And when we feel that way, ashuman beings we are hardwired to
(04:32):
want to protect protect thestatus quo, protect what we have
, protect the people that matterto us, protect what we've
worked so hard for.
So fear cannot be part of theequation, because as soon as
fear is there, it's going tolimit the efforts that we do.
And I'm not saying that thoseefforts don't matter.
(04:53):
I'm saying they are limited inwhat they can achieve.
And I think that's why this isstill a debate even now, after
so many years and I'll get intohow many years this has been
going on later in this episode.
So let's look at diversity first.
Diversity, yeah, is aboutdifference.
(05:13):
When we feel like we aredifferent, this triggers our ego
, our cave person brain, to wantto protect and exclude and look
for our tribe who are similarand familiar to us.
We are naturally wanting todistance ourselves from people
(05:34):
that are a little bit unknown,maybe a little bit awkward, a
little bit different to us.
So having difference anddiversity in the language can
subconsciously trigger this fearalready.
Now let's talk about equity.
So equity, again, is aboutleveling that playing field and
(05:54):
acknowledging those barriersthat so many people have.
Now, taking a look at equitydoesn't necessarily address the
very systems that have put thesethings into place, because it's
ignoring the fact thatsometimes we're trying to fit
(06:17):
people into these systems ratherthan re-looking at the whole
system in its entirety.
So what I mean by this is whenwe have things like targets and
quotas to try and boost thepeople that have a few steps
backwards in the walk ofprivilege.
They don't have the samestarting place, so we give them
(06:37):
a few steps forward to try andequal the race right.
So if you imagine a group ofpeople lining up to do a hundred
meter dash, we allow people tostart at 90 meters from the
finish line, some people 80,some people 50, because of the
differences that they're alreadyexperiencing and their ability
to get to that finish line.
(06:58):
And that can be mindset, it canbe physical, it can be
perception, it can be so manydifferent things.
It can be the shoes thatthey're wearing, the clothes
that they have.
Do they have the, you know,fanciest running technology
shoes that will get them quicker?
So when we look at trying to fixwhat we see as discrimination
(07:23):
or gaps between what is fair andwhat is not, we're trying to do
it in the same system and thatwon't always work.
And what that can lead to ispeople, the other people who
have currently the easier way ofthings.
They can start to feel nervous,understandably.
Some of them start to feeltaken advantage of.
(07:45):
Some of them start to feel likethey are now being treated
unfairly because they don't havethat headstart.
Hey, I want that headstart.
Everyone wants the headstartright.
So some people respond to thisbehavior with a check your
privilege type statement, and Iget it.
There is a value and importancein honoring and acknowledge
(08:09):
your privilege, but not everyonerealizes that and not everyone
is equipped to do that.
And telling people to checktheir privilege doesn't help
take away the fear.
It just entices people to campdown and hold down even more
tightly to their views.
(08:30):
It creates the very thing we'retrying to avoid.
It creates more diversion anddiversity and opposition.
It doesn't help.
So both of these things ignorethe fear which activates our
biases, whether they beconscious biases or unconscious
biases, so the way we act,whether we're aware of it or
(08:52):
whether we're not.
And so this brings me toinclusion, which I think is the
biggest one that I have achallenge with and I want to
talk about because I think itneeds to be talked about.
So let's dive a little bit intothe history here of how long
inclusion's been around and whyit is time that we go beyond it.
(09:12):
So in 1920, the US Congressbrought in the Women's Bureau of
Department of Labor to addressgender gaps in the workforce
1920.
Fast forward to 1964, and againin the US, civil Rights Act was
brought into fruition,prohibiting employment
(09:35):
discrimination based on thingslike gender and ethnicity.
Moving into Australia, in 1975,they introduced the Racial
Discrimination Act, which, yes,talking about discrimination
based on race, ethnicity, colour, if you like to call it, all of
those types of things.
(09:55):
By 1976, 60% of largeorganisations in the US were
delivering some kind of equalopportunity training in their
workplaces training in theirworkplaces.
In 1984, in Australia, the SexDiscrimination Act was
(10:17):
introduced, so making it illegalto discriminate people on the
basis of their biological sex,their sexual orientation, their
gender identity, how they seethemselves in terms of gender,
their relationship status,pregnancy, breastfeeding, all
those kinds of things.
So I'm not going to go into moredetail than that, but what I'm
going to say is that for atleast over 70 years or more
(10:40):
we've been talking aboutinclusion already.
We've been giving people thetools and it's still a problem.
So it's time to move beyond.
We've done I think we've donewhat we can with that and, yes,
those things that are there, wecan either keep the ones that
we're working that are working,or add and tweak and rethink the
(11:02):
ones that aren't.
So inclusion let's break downinclusion even more so.
Inclusion is that feeling ofbeing welcome, respected and
supported and valued for who youare.
But inclusion presupposes thatthere is a majority, a normal.
Here come my air quotes, againin an audio podcast, the norm
(11:26):
that people should fit in.
But others are excluded Againbecause they're a little bit
different.
Right, so we naturally excludethem.
But now we want to open thedoor and let them in.
Yeah, great, come round to thecampfire.
But this whole thing ofincluding people into the
majority is based on a falseperception of what a majority
(11:49):
even is, perception of what amajority even is.
What I mean by this is, youwould know that there is a
perception out there that, interms of leaderships, there is a
dominating presence ofCaucasian, white cisgender males
, and that then has a rippleeffect onto a Caucasian or
(12:12):
European ethnicity backgroundbeing the majority.
Now, if you kind of look atmultiple sources I had to look
at multiple sources across theinternet because there was no
one place that had this and youcalculate the numbers Roughly,
this is very rough calculation.
Only 9.9% of the globalpopulation consists of white,
(12:39):
cisgender males.
So that is not the norm, right?
That is not the majority.
In fact, if you check outWikipedia, it talks about the
global majority and the globalmajority 85% of the population
is made up of African, asian,indigenous, latin American and
(12:59):
mixed heritage backgroundethnicities.
So we've got to let go of thisconcept of there being a normal
and a majority for people tocome into.
So, yes, there is inequity inour systems, in our workplaces,
and, yes, there is an onuscurrently on those that are more
(13:22):
privileged to invite others in,to let go of some of their
privilege, some of their fruitsof their labor, and share with
others.
And you see how kids play,right?
We, naturally, when we come outand we're growing up, we want
the cool things for ourselves.
Yeah, because we know that tosurvive we need to harvest all
(13:44):
of those fruits and feed ourtribe.
There you go, I'm getting sopassionate.
Again I'm hitting the table.
We want to feed our tribe.
There you go, I'm getting sopassionate.
Again, I'm hitting the table.
We want to feed our tribes.
It's natural, right?
So, of course, when we start totalk about diversity, equity and
inclusion D, e and I there isgoing to be a perception by some
(14:05):
that there's a job that's beingtaken away from people who may
have more skill, knowledge andexperience, and maybe that
person doesn't realize thatthey're ignoring the fact that
they have more skill, knowledgeand experience because of their
privilege.
But that's okay, let's be kindhere.
(14:26):
We want to open up theconversation and I want to look
at the perspective of theindividual.
So the person who's typicallythought of as the minority and
we now know they're part of that85% majority.
So for these people who aretraditionally thought of as the
minority, there's a weight ontheir shoulders.
Right, they want to do theright thing, they want to make a
(14:51):
difference, they want to usetheir skills, but they don't
want to come in with thisthought in the background, or
maybe even the foreground oftheir mind, that they're only
there because of a quota.
Who wants to feel that way?
No one wants to think that.
So that drive then to proveyourself, to prove that you own
this, so that drive then toprove yourself, to prove that
(15:13):
you own this, to do the best foryour group as you represent
them, can put so much pressure,and that pressure and that drive
coming from this place of lackcan actually be repelling, can
actually make their impactlessened.
And I just want to acknowledgehere that so far I've been
talking a lot about race, butthere's also all sorts of other
discrimination besides genderand race.
(15:35):
There's also disability andlanguage and all sorts of things
like who you affiliate yourselfwith, with religion.
All of that I didn't want to gotoo far in the detail.
I want to talk aboutdiscrimination inclusion in
general here.
So let me just acknowledge that.
So back to this the weight onpeople's shoulders.
(15:55):
It can be repelling when you'retrying to make up for that lack
, right?
You don't want people feelinglike, hey, the only reason you
are here is because we let you.
So when that spoken I've heardit spoken or unspoken tone
permeates a team, anorganization, it stops people,
(16:21):
it stops the momentum, it stopstrue collaboration, true value
of a person and the worth andvalue that they bring.
True value of a person and theworth and value that they bring.
And even more than this, when wedelve into the generations of
trauma that some people haveexperienced, of being a victim,
actually being a victim.
(16:42):
Yeah, this victim mindset canstick around because it takes
healing, it takes tools, ittakes therapy, it takes all
sorts of things to shift awayfrom an identity that has kept
you safe, from the broader groupI'll say broader group because
we know that's not the majoritythe broader group that has maybe
(17:04):
persecuted you in the past orpersecuted your loved ones, your
ancestors.
So this mindset, these beliefsin ourselves, if we've faced
that persecution anddiscrimination in the past, it
doesn't change overnight and itdoesn't shift just by being
included.
So opening the door andallowing people in is one thing,
(17:27):
but you need to empower thatindividual as well, to go from
the victim mindset to the victor.
So I hope you can see what I'msaying about DE&I is that the
focus is on hey, we let you in,so be grateful, right, and
that's hard.
You can't just do that right.
There's more than gratitudethat's needed.
(17:49):
So, rather than that, hey,we're letting people in a bit
different to us.
I want us to shift ourperspective.
I want us to see theopportunities, the value, the
unique perspectives that theseother people can bring, people
(18:10):
that we haven't been able toengage well enough in because
we've been nervous nervous ofoffending them, nervous of
behaving the wrong way, nervousabout what to say.
It's okay, as we explore theseterritories, to feel
uncomfortable.
In fact it's needed.
It shows us that we are in theright place.
It shows us that we are in theright place.
(18:31):
So this mindset, this identityand the beliefs from living so
long as a quotes again, minorityis not something organizations
or leaders are equipped with orindividuals on their own.
It has to all happen inconjunction.
So I'm proposing that it's timethat we go from d and I to
(18:52):
empowering authenticity.
That is the next step.
Because when we empowerauthenticity, we bypass the
human fear, the lack behavior,the drivers that cause us to
protect ourselves, to want tohold on to the status quo,
(19:16):
because there is no harm whenyou empower authenticity in
someone else.
No harm, there's no fear there.
It doesn't take anything awayfrom you, it just helps someone
else.
And we know the research andscience behind giving and
empowering others and developingothers.
We are hardwired to want tosupport the people around us
because we are tribe beings.
So what this does, when weempower authenticity, is it
(19:40):
takes the focus away from thatleveling of equity and that
fairness.
That no, it's mine, it's mine.
Think about the kids fightingagain that one's mine, no, I
have five Easter eggs.
No, you've got four, I want six.
All of that bickering right.
The same thing happens inadults.
So, instead of that bickering,can we flip this?
(20:02):
When we empower authenticity,can we flip it to?
What can this person bring thatwe didn't even think was
possible, that we haven't evenseen before?
When we start to think this way, we expand our perspective, we
are energizing, we tap into ourcreativity, our innovation, we
(20:23):
can rethink the whole system andwe come from an abundance
mindset instead of scarcity andlack.
Instead of the spot taken, it'sthe.
What have we not thought ofthat we could do right now?
So for the individual thatpreviously has been the victim
or has felt discriminatedagainst, they get reassurance.
(20:47):
They aren't just a quota.
When we empower authenticity,they feel safe and valued.
When we empower authenticity,we are empowering people to
actually value their ownstrengths, their own worth.
Right?
We're saying, hey, you, youhave strengths.
Do you even know what they are?
Maybe not, a lot of peopledon't.
(21:09):
Can you articulate them?
Do you know how to mix andmatch them to the situation that
you're in, to bring out magic,to work with other people, to
work with their strengths andbring that synergy out together?
So, without this sense ofsafety, that I am enough.
(21:31):
I have all I need and I addvalue and I have my own worth.
Without that self-certainty,people will operate from a place
of fear, because we have somuch going on from generations
ago in our systems, in ourmessaging, that reinforces those
fears.
And in the long term, if weoperate from the place of fear,
(21:53):
so if we stay with at the levelof diversity, equity, inclusion
and we don't move towardsempowering authenticity, this
continued fear will impair ourefforts, both individuals and
the people that actually careabout making a difference in
this space.
So for the system, can we justempower the individuals and hope
(22:15):
that that will fix things?
No, we've got to change thesystem as well.
Individuals and hope that thatwill fix things.
No, we've got to change thesystem as well.
I like to think about it as thisyou know the bird in the cage
metaphor.
So there's a bird that's beentrapped in the cage for years
and years and the door's beenlocked, and so that's all it
knows is the world within thatcage, and then someone opens the
door.
So that's the system changing.
(22:36):
The door is now open, that birdis free to go, but it stays in
the cage.
Why?
Because the cage is familiar,even though it hates the cage.
Even though it hurts its claws,even though it hasn't seen
nature in real life and beenable to touch and feel, even
though it's deprived, it stillcomes back and wants to stay in
(22:58):
that cage because it's all itknows and our beings are
hardwired for that kind ofsafety.
So we need to be able toempower that bird to go out and
test what it's like outside thecage, to know that if they step
out, they can come back in ifthey want to.
But they can step out and stepout a bit further and further
each time and start to learnabout the world outside that
(23:21):
cage and how they can bringtheir beauty to the rest of the
world.
What's awesome about being thatcaged bird is they have so many
learnings that they can shareabout what it's like to be in
the cage and how to get out.
But to do that they have to getout.
So the door needs to be openand we need to empower the bird.
(23:42):
So research around bias and I'mgoing to focus on racial bias
for now, and we can extrapolatethese thoughts to other areas
but research into racial biasdates back to the 1920s and what
we do know from these decadesof research is that babies are
not born biased.
(24:03):
They're not.
So if you put babies in a roomand they've got these different
toys, they will play equallywith each right.
In 2024, researchers from theUni of Washington and Nebraska
found that children actually candevelop biases before they even
reach grade one in primary orelementary school.
(24:26):
And they learn this not by whatwe teach them or tell them
overtly, but they learn this byobserving everyday interactions
of the people they trust and thepeople around them interactions
of the people they trust andthe people around them.
So they learn this by whetherthere's this slight difference
in the way you greet someonebased on what they looked.
(24:47):
What was that difference?
They're constantly comparing.
They're little researchersthey're looking for, okay, well,
what's the commonality or thedifference between why did you
treat that person so cheerily,like, hey, how are you going?
And the next person, hi.
And I've experienced this.
On the other end, I've walkedinto a shop and someone in front
of me has been greeted.
They are, let's say, caucasian,taller than me, and yeah, let's
(25:14):
leave it at that Caucasian andtaller than me.
And they get this warm hi, howare you today?
Welcome from the person servingthem.
Right, I come in and I'm likeyou know if you've met me or if
you've seen me on video I'm avery smiley, like, open person,
you know.
So when I then get greeted witha yep hi, what can I get you?
(25:38):
The tone is different, the eyecontact is different and I can't
help but wonder hmm, what is itabout me that made you treat me
so differently to the personbefore me in the line?
So these little examples, ourkids in the world, are learning
(26:01):
and coding all of these andthey're learning to then model
and repeat the behaviors that weare consciously or
unconsciously doing.
So that's why being aware ofour own unconscious bias, the
things that we don't even knowwe're doing, and having someone
point that out for you, can beso incredibly powerful, because
(26:22):
I know there's a lot of peopleespecially if you're listening
to this podcast, I know you docare about this stuff.
You do want to be inclusive, soit's so important that you can
find someone, like a coach, likeme or someone else, who can
tell you and point out when youmight be doing something that is
actually excluding others ormaking them feel unsafe, or
(26:44):
treating them so, so slightlydifferently that you might not
even notice, but that personnotices.
Now, in 2009, over 300researchers from 25 countries
got together to study the genomesequencing of a Hereford cow,
and what they found was this cowhas like over 22,000 genes, and
(27:07):
80% of these genes are similarin function to a human's.
So what that means is DNAresponsible for basic things
like the way a cell divides, orour metabolism, or our immunity.
80% of that stuff is similar toa cow.
Now, when you think about that,just picture yourself next to a
(27:30):
cow.
You feel pretty different to acow, right In the way that you
look, the way that you move in,what you eat, the way that your
body functions, like you know,four legs and hooves versus two
legs and arms.
There seems like a lot ofdifferences, yet in terms of DNA
, there's an 80% similaritythere, right?
And then in 2005, researchersdid a similar thing in terms of
(27:54):
mapping the genomes ofchimpanzees, and they found that
98.8% of the same basicfunctions of DNA are similar as
well.
Now, I wanted to point that outbecause why are we quibbling
over these like one or 2%?
Why?
Why is there so much angst,pain, effort going into solving
(28:21):
this when we are so similar toeach other?
If babies don't know thedifference.
Why are we squabbling over thisas adults?
And the reason is because wehave learned this through our
parents and the parents beforeus and we are all teaching our
kids and future generation thisfear and this weariness, often
(28:41):
without knowing it.
And until we're aware and westart to self-check and monitor
and notice when we do treatsomeone differently and notice
when maybe we feel uncomfortablearound someone just because of
the way they look or justbecause of who they say they are
, sit with that discomfort andgo.
Okay, is this just a learnedfear or is there something else
(29:04):
here that maybe I don'tunderstand or need to explore?
So when this fear goesunchecked, it can infiltrate the
way we act, the way we thinkthe systems we create and we
keep reinforcing this cycle, theway we think the systems we
create, and we keep reinforcingthis cycle.
So I am inviting you to empowerauthenticity instead.
(29:31):
I recall a time when I was abouteight years old and we were
driving in the car, we weredriving home, and I was in the
local neighborhood, so veryclose to home, so a place where
you would feel normally thatyou're safe, and it was a
summer's day, so the windowswere down, the breeze was
blowing in, it was sunshining,it was beautiful and we were
driving quite slowly because itwas a suburban street.
(29:52):
And I recall this group ofteenagers were just on the side
of the road and they saw us andthey looked at me and they
yelled go back to where you camefrom.
And at first I was a bitconfused, like what?
You mean the supermarket, likethat's where I just came from.
(30:12):
And then you know, eventuallyyou click oh right, they, they
mean I look different, because Iam aware of that by this age.
And it was the feeling, thefeeling that I could sense in
them of fear and hate in theirtone.
And that's horrible feeling, toexperience that someone
(30:37):
literally is scared of you andhates you because you look
slightly different to them.
And we know now that differenceis, you know, one or two
percent.
So whilst I've had some notableexperiences of discrimination
in my life, I know many othersreceive much worse than I do and
(31:01):
way, way more.
There's some really shockingstats and I haven't researched
them so I don't want to dropthem in and do them injustice
here, but I's horrible.
(31:24):
So if you've ever experiencedsome form of discrimination, you
might know that, or maybe youdon't.
But in coaching what we do iswe know that this first instance
that you recall of this feelingof, oh, I'm different and
people will treat me differentlybecause of that, and sometimes
in really hurtful ways thatfirst instance then gets your
(31:46):
brain going oh crap, I've got toprotect you from that.
So then you look for more andmore instances of where you
might be discriminated against,where you don't belong, where
you're not good enough, whereyou don't belong, where you're
not good enough, and what thiscan lead to is people
over-attributing behaviors andactions and perceptions to
(32:08):
things that aren't really there.
So we can over-feel like avictim of discrimination when
there's actually less than whatwe think.
So it's really important to tryand be objective about this so
we can start to latch on to thisbelief that we are constantly
the victim and when we do that,we are disempowered.
When you feel like everyone isdoing this to you and you can't
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do anything about it, well, youcan't.
And all of this is made worseby that intergenerational trauma
that I talk of and that comesthrough in the stories we tell
each other.
You know, your grandma tellsyou about all of these stories
that they encountered in theirlife in the language we use, in
the way that we react to certainsituations, when this is all
(32:57):
unconscious, it prevents us frommaking progress.
So, again, the invitation andchallenge to you is to empower
authenticity.
Now, how do you do that?
Yeah, so I'm going to tell younow how you do that for
individuals and a little bitabout how you do that for
(33:17):
organizations.
I can't help myself.
I know people always tell me topick one, just tell the
individual.
But I know, but you could be anindividual experiencing
discrimination.
So, yes, you could use that inthat way and yes, you could also
use this model if you're aleader, whether or not you
experienced discriminationyourself.
(33:37):
So I want to give you both.
I can't help it.
So what I've developed is aframework called GAPPS.
Yeah, so we want to empowerauthenticity by focusing on the
GAPPS, and this is a GAPPS witha double P.
So the first step in GAPPS,which is G, is gratitude.
(34:00):
So, as an individual, feelingreally grateful for all that you
have.
And when we learn to do thisrepeatedly, it helps take us
from that fear mindset toabundance, and that's really
important because it then helpsus recalibrate our brain to make
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sure we're not over-attributingbehaviors to something that
might not actually be there.
So it makes sure.
Not makes sure, but it helps usto be generous in the meaning
that we give to people'sbehaviors, and that comes in
later in the gaps model.
(34:42):
So gratitude, so that's as anindividual Now, as a leader and
system perspective, beinggrateful for what your employees
bring.
That might be different, thatmight be new, that helps you
innovate, like, I think, in theage of AI.
The one thing we have to learnis that we have to continuously
innovate, because AI is suckingevery bit of knowledge and
(35:06):
wisdom that we know and isregurgitating it in this
homogenized common denominatorkind of way.
So the more that we caninnovate and be creative as
humans, that's how we're goingto keep our competitive
advantage.
So being grateful about all ofthat beautiful, rich tapestry
that is maybe untapped, unseen,unheard and undervalued is what
(35:31):
you can start to do as a leader.
Because when you express thatgratitude to that individual,
then that boosts theirconfidence and that feeling of
safety.
So it's that reciprocal actiongoing on All right.
So that's gratitude.
So step two, a A stands forappreciation.
So I actually melded the twothere by accident.
(35:55):
But gratitude is being gratefulfor what you have, but
appreciation is then expressingthat, so saying that thank you,
so saying hey, you did that.
So differently to how I wouldhave approached that and I love
that.
So actually languaging that topeople, because the more we
appreciate others, the more likewho doesn't feel good getting
some form of appreciation?
(36:16):
Right, it's energy boosting, itputs into the system rather
than takes out.
So again, can you see, this isbuilding on that feeling of
safety and love and value,rather than fear and difference
and lack.
All right, the third step in theGAPPS model is perception.
(36:37):
Now, these next two steps arevery similar but they're
slightly different and that'swhy there's two Ps.
So perception is the first one.
So perception is when somethinghappens and in the moment you
attach a meaning to that.
So let me think of an example,oh well, the one I just gave.
Yeah, I'm in a shop, someone infront of me gets a really warm
(37:00):
greeting and then me, the nextperson, gets this kind of pretty
average, if not slightlyhostile greeting.
Okay, so the meaning I couldattach to that is oh, because
that person was Caucasian, I'mAsian, that person who's serving
me is racist.
That is the meaning that Icould attribute to that moment.
(37:20):
That could be my perception inthe moment.
Now, if I train my brain and I'mgrateful and I know my
strengths and I am starting tobe generous in how I see others
and know that they're doing thebest that they can as well,
maybe the person in front ofthem is someone they knew.
Maybe I had something offensiveon my t-shirt, like a slogan or
(37:43):
something that I didn't realizewas offensive, like, for
example did you know that inJapanese culture it is polite to
slurp while you're eating?
So that could be reallyoffensive to someone if you do
that in Australia, where I live.
And likewise, conversely, ifyou blow your nose in a
(38:05):
restaurant, that's alsoconsidered really rude in Japan,
but if you do that here, it'sconsidered quite acceptable.
So I'm always sitting in aJapanese restaurant going, oh my
gosh, are these people actuallyJapanese and will they get
offended if I blow my nosebecause my nose is running?
And my nose runs when I eatspicy food?
So perception is that in thatmoment thing that happens and
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the meaning that you attach toit.
So being really aware of yourperception and questioning that
meaning, that immediate meaningthat you've attached to it, is a
way of unpacking the beliefsand all of the conditioning that
you've had up until now.
So it's that pause and catchyourself in the moment thing Now
(38:48):
that matters whether you'rethat individual who feels like
they might have beendiscriminated.
And it also matters when youare doing things in the process
of being a leader, for examplein recruitment, that initial
perception you have of acandidate walking in, checking
whether is there some validreasons and evidence, are other
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people seeing what you maybecan't articulate?
But there's something there.
Is there actually somethingthere or is it just that this is
a little bit different for youand it might be a little bit
uncomfortable and that'sactually okay and might be even
really awesome.
So that pause and check andquestioning about your
perception in the moment ofsomeone's behavior, eye contact,
(39:31):
can be a really great one.
So I'm loving the word neurospicy, so I'm going to use that.
If someone is neuro-spicy, soas in not neurotypical, one of
the signs that they can do isthey can not make eye contact,
because eye contact makes themreally uncomfortable.
So in a let's use the jobinterview example again, if
(39:56):
someone's in a job interview andthey say hi and they don't make
eye contact with you as they'retalking, you might take that as
a lacking of confidence, but itcould be that they're
neuro-spicy, so there could beall of these different things.
And let me be clear here thisis probably not a good example,
but you don't want to excludesomeone from your employment
because they're neuro-spicy,right?
(40:16):
They actually bring incrediblestrengths when you know how to
unpack that.
So let me be clear on thatbefore people rip me apart.
You know everything gets takenout of context these days.
So let me be clear Neuro spicyis awesome, so, but what I'm
trying to say is that lookingdown or looking away and not
making eye contact, is a validthing for people to do.
(40:38):
So being aware of yourperception and the meaning you
attach to that in the moment ismy point.
So now that brings me to thenext P, which is perspective.
I'm giggling a bit here becauseI realize I've been talking for
a while, but it's because I'mso passionate and I've been
thinking about this topic for solong that now it's all just
coming out.
So if you're interested to workwith me on it, do let me know,
(41:01):
because I am so passionate aboutshifting beyond inclusion.
It's not funny.
So, with perspective, let's getback now to the second P
perspective.
You're like isn't that the sameas perception?
I had to think about this too,but I'm like well, no, there's
two words in the dictionary.
Let's really look into whythere's two words.
So there is a slight nuance.
So perspective is now yourmindset and the actions and the
(41:25):
way you see things, rather thanthe moment attachment of meaning
.
So if we talk about now morethat mindset shift, as a leader,
you can shift your mindsettowards okay, well, how do I
coach this person and how do Iactually highlight their unique
(41:46):
strengths and how do Iappreciate and admire them and
help this person to help themflourish?
How do I give them anenvironment that helps them to
flourish?
And for the individual, themindset shift is from being the
victim, like always assumingthat you are the one that is
(42:09):
being discriminated against andI understand if you do, and
that's.
I'm not saying that you haven'tbeen, I'm just saying starting
to let go of that as being as aprotection and a safety blanket
and identity.
So shifting towards a victor.
Because when you are a victor,when you are empowered, you get
(42:32):
to make the change, you get tostep up and shine, you get to do
the things in the way that onlyyou can.
So don't wait for someone toopen the door.
Create your own door.
So what I'm saying here isshifting your perspective to see
(42:53):
, instead of the loss and thelack, see the opportunities, see
the unknown as a great thing.
And now the final step in GAPPSis shine.
So shine is really about theindividual knowing what your
strengths.
Do you actually know what yourstrengths are?
Because?
So one of the tools that I usewith my clients is the Gallup
Strengths Finder, or CliftonStrengths Finder as some people
(43:14):
might know it, and what thistool tells us is that one in 33
million people have the same topfive strengths, in the same
order as us One in 33 million.
We are all literally so uniqueand all here to bring our
(43:35):
uniqueness to the forefront, tothe fabric of our society, to
actually make these importantshifts, that it's so important
that we know what thosestrengths are.
So that's one of the tools.
Another tool that I use is a360, so you can see how you are
showing up to others.
So what are your strengths?
So, firstly, do you know whatthey are?
(43:55):
And if you do know what theyare, what are you holding back
from using because of fear, andis that fear actually still
warranted?
Because sometimes it totally is, and I want to acknowledge that
sometimes it is unsafe to stepout and be your whole self, and
only you can decide that.
But what I want to make sure isthat is it actually warranted,
(44:18):
or is your brain on autopilotwarranted, or is your brain on
autopilot?
Has that fear become a safetyblanket, and so much so that
it's embedded in our identity?
Because that's when it becomesharder to shift Not impossible,
because I do it all the time,but it is harder and often, very
often, you can't do that alone.
You need someone to help youthrough that.
(44:39):
So, letting yourself shine andas a leader, how can you let
this individual shine?
How can you promote them in newways and different ways?
How can you open up people'sperspective?
If you can see someone hasboxed one of your team members
in, if you can see that they'remaybe assuming the worst in them
(45:01):
or having that meaningattachment in that perception,
step right.
And they're maybe assuming theworst in them or having that
meaning attachment in thatperception, step right.
And they're not aware of thatbut it's limiting that team
member's ability to make theirdo their best work right.
It's your duty, I believe, as aleader, to help uncover that
gently, with kindness andcompassion.
And compassion, because we canonly truly collaborate with each
(45:28):
other when we enable each andevery person to shine.
So the individual then helpsthe collective.
So I hope you've enjoyed thisthat I've been so excited to
share and, to be honest, I'vebeen scared of talking about
this topic because I know howcontentious it is.
But I truly believe and I hopeyou agree and do let me know in
the feedback, because I'mgenuinely curious how this has
(45:51):
landed for you, because I'm sopassionate that we need to
empower authenticity now.
Yeah, move beyond diversity,equity, inclusion, inclusion and
empower authenticity.
So if you want to empowerauthenticity in yourself, you
can dm me on linkedin so you canfind me, Jolynne Rydz,
(46:13):
j-o-l-y-n-n-e-r-y-d-z.
Dm me and put in the word gapps, and you're going to have to
spell it with two p's to makesure that you were listening to
this episode gapps with two,with two P's.
Pop it in a message to me, sayhi and I will give you a free
guide to putting gaps intopractice for yourself as an
individual.
(46:33):
Now, if you are a leader or youare an organization, you
probably want way more than alittle guide.
I can give you a guide, but Idon't know how far you're going
to get, because some of thisstuff goes so deep and some of
it is so intertwined and sohidden and so protected that
often you need a little bit moreinsight and deeper work to
actually make some real,tangible, meaningful shifts in
(46:57):
this space.
So if you are a leader or anorganization wanting to
understand how you can use myGAPS program in more detail,
there is a link in the shownotes to book a half an hour
chat with me just to explorewhat your DE&I currently looks
like.
How can we build on that, whatare some of the gaps and how can
we fit gaps in Gaps with adouble P.
(47:19):
So I trust that this has been athought inspiring and useful
episode for you.
Always remember you were bornfor a reason.
It's time to thrive.