November 12, 2024 • 25 mins
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Ever wondered why some leaders transform teams while others simply manage them? This episode promises to uncover the often-overlooked leadership skills that can catapult your ability to inspire and drive change. We'll explore three critical skills that aren't commonly taught but are essential for unlocking a team's full potential.
By harnessing these skills, leaders can avoid becoming mere referees of challenge and instead drive teams toward collective success, proving Aristotle's wisdom that the whole is indeed greater than the sum of its parts.
References
What Makes Leadership Development Programs Succeed
Why Most New Executives Fail
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jolynne Rydz (00:00):
Welcome on into this episode three leadership
skills you didn't know youneeded.
I'd love to start by asking youwhat leadership skills do you
want to develop?
What are you working on rightnow?
This is a really commonquestion that comes up in
performance developmentdiscussions and also in things
(00:22):
like job interviews andrecruitment processes, and a lot
of what people answer, I'venoticed, is things like I want
to be a better coach, or I'dlike to get better at presenting
and public speaking.
I want to have more influenceand be better at negotiating.
I want to be more strategicwith my thinking and make better
decisions.
(00:43):
In my work as a coach over thepast decade, I've come across
hundreds of leaders and theirchallenges and their goals, and
one of the beauties of being acoach is that people really open
up and are really honest andraw about what it is they're
looking to achieve, but alsowhere is it that they're getting
stuck and why.
(01:03):
This is beautiful is.
It allows me, as someone wholoves observing human behavior,
it allows me to see patterns,and so what I've noticed over
the years is that there areleaders that they get all right
results right, they're learningand doing what they need to and
they're doing the job fine, butit's nothing spectacular and
(01:23):
that's okay.
If that's where you want to beand you've got other things in
your life that light you up,then that's great.
We do actually need leadersperforming at that level.
And then there's other leaders,ones that you know even if they
weren't paid, they would bedoing some kind of leadership
role because it just lights themup.
It's what they're here to do,and they're the kind of leader
(01:46):
that is able to engage people'shearts and their minds and bring
their teams together in a waythat unlocks their passion and
their skill and bring themtogether to focus on a common
goal.
So what I've just described issomething that's often referred
to as transformationalleadership that ability to
really harness that energy of agroup and direct it towards a
(02:10):
shared goal.
And so what I've noticed isthis pattern that there's
actually three skills thatleaders have in common in this
group and the group of theleaders that get the okay
results.
They generally don't have theseskills, and I wanted to bring
them to people's attentionbecause they're often they're
(02:30):
not spoken about.
They're not necessarily thingsthat are asked in recruitment
about when we're trying toassess whether someone would be
a good leader.
They're not talked about duringperformance discussions, about
how people are going, what'sworking and what's not, and what
do they want to work on andgrow in.
And also, I find theseparticular topics are not
(02:50):
necessarily covered in a lot ofleadership development programs.
And the thing is, these threeskills leadership skills that
you didn't know you neededthey're actually critical in an
environment where, more and more, we need to access the untapped
capacity of teams.
There's a lot of talk aboutpeople saying too busy, they're
at capacity, they need moreresources, but those people
(03:14):
saying that often have thisuntapped capacity and the reason
why they're feeling at capacityis for all different reasons
around the structure and theleadership and the environment
and the tools and the processes,and their own beliefs and
mindset as well.
So many different reasons.
But being able to tap into thisdiscretionary effort in a way
(03:34):
that each and every individualemployee wants to be here, wants
to make a difference and hasthe ability to adapt and flex at
speed without being slowed downby systems of control that
might be creating lag in thesystem, and have that ability
and permission to useinitiatives and their strengths
(03:55):
like that, that is the gold.
If you can uncover that, youcan uncover amazing productivity
and performance in your team.
Productivity and performance inyour team.
According to the HarvardBusiness Review, they estimated
that $60 billion is spent everyyear around the globe on
leadership development.
Yet I found some other researchfrom CEB, so the Corporate
(04:17):
Executives Board, that foundthat 50 to 70% of executives
fail within 18 months ofstarting in a new role, and
that's regardless of whetherthey were promoted internally
and had that corporate knowledgeand awareness of culture and
the way things worked, orwhether they came in externally
from another organization orindustry.
50 to 70%.
(04:38):
Now, if you think about thecost I don't have that figure
off the top of my head, but ifyou think about the cost of
recruiting someone at anexecutive level and if that has
such a high chance of failure,we need to be focusing on these
things.
So what these two statisticstell me is that there's room to
make the implementation of ourleadership development more
(05:02):
effective and there's room tobetter support our new leaders.
And, most importantly, the thingthat I want to focus on in
today's episode is that thereare underrated and critical
skills that aren't being talkedabout and they're missing from
leadership development programsand conversations.
So the good news is I'm here toshare them with you today.
(05:22):
So the three leadership skillsthat you didn't know you needed.
I love focusing on these withclients and groups because they
are impactful.
When I see people get this andthey run with it and they put it
into practice, things shift forthem, they transform, so their
results go.
Rather than this incrementalslow approach, it's like a.
(05:45):
Rather than this incrementalslow approach, it's like a step.
Rather than gradual.
I mean, it's like a steptransformation in their
performance and their impact,and that's why they're so
underrated.
So many years ago now, I wassitting in a auditorium about,
let's say, 400 people in theaudience of a medium-sized
(06:05):
organization, and a leader hadjust come in to basically
introduce themselves and givethe audience a bit of a pep talk
about you know, what they couldbring to this role and why
now's a great time to be makingsome changes and why they could
make a difference.
Now what I noticed was thatthis leader had absolutely no
(06:28):
awareness or ability to feelwhat was happening in the room.
So they delivered a beautifulspeech.
Everything they said was theright thing to say and they said
it in a really great way, butthere was a mismatch between how
that was being received.
So I could see hostility onpeople's faces, disbelief, upset
, and, despite the speech itselfbeing flawless, they didn't
(06:51):
earn the respect of thataudience that day Now.
Have you ever experienced a teamthat's stuck in the negative,
complaining about what's wrongwith the situation, what's
missing, what's not working?
Maybe they're feelingunder-resourced all the time,
but you can't do anything aboutit?
What about people that, nomatter how many times you've
explained what needs to get done, it's just not getting done?
(07:12):
See, the problem is we teachleaders to focus on what they
say, and people want to learnabout you.
Know how do I say this?
Well, what's the structure,what's the method, what's my
delivery method of saying this?
Well, structure, what's themethod, what's my delivery
method of saying this?
Well, so they focus on whatthey say rather than what they
see.
Now, a great and impactfulleader and the ones I've seen
(07:33):
have this incredible ability tosee and acknowledge reality.
So they see and acknowledge thereality that their employees
are facing in any given momentand, as a result, they're,
instead of people feeling zonedout like oh, I just don't even
want to listen to what thisperson is saying, they lean in
Instead of feeling unheard, likeyou just don't know what this
(07:57):
is like right now.
For me, they feel heard andinstead of feeling stuck like,
oh, I just, I don't know, thisis going to go anywhere, this
isn't going to make a change,this is not going to make a
difference, they buy in.
So the benefit of seeing andacknowledging the reality that
someone is facing is it showspeople that you get it, it gives
(08:19):
you that credibility and itbuilds rapport and it makes the
person feel seen and heard.
The second thing that it doesis it helps them feel okay to
not be okay.
So this is incredibly powerfulwhen there's a challenging
situation going on, so somethingthat people are not wanting,
maybe haven't been expecting,it's been a surprise.
(08:42):
It might be things like there'sa lot of downsizing going on at
the moment and that news canalways be often be very
difficult for people to accept.
So things like that, or maybe aproblem in the team with some
people that are causing troublethose kinds of situations or a
change being forced on someone,people can experience a lot of
(09:05):
negative feelings associated tothat and if you're told to just
move on, get on with it, let'sbe positive, how can we solve
this If we don't see andacknowledge the reality that
someone's actually struggling inthat moment.
They spend time and energygoing what's wrong with me, why
can't I move forward, or whyhaven't we done it this way?
(09:27):
I don't understand, or why isthis happening?
So they spend all this time andenergy and effort questioning
things and are actually unableto hear and see what's going on.
So that's why people can getreally stuck.
And it's not until you see andacknowledge reality that people
can process these emotions,start to process them, feel safe
(09:50):
to process them and feel likeit's okay and part of the
process, because it is in humanbehavior.
You need to go through theseemotions to get to the other
side of a change and see thatchange is possible and positive.
So we need to, as leaders, tocreate space for this, and part
of that is seeing andacknowledging reality.
And then the third reason thisis really powerful is it clears
(10:13):
the slate so people can moveforward.
I don't know if you've seen theshow.
It's a show that is on inAustralia and might be on in
different countries as well, butit's called the Biggest Loser
and it's about a group of peoplewho are significantly
overweight and they've tried allsorts of ways to get healthy
and lose the weight and theyhaven't been able to.
(10:34):
So they go on this bootcampprogram, which is they're away
from their loved ones andthey're in this intensive
exercise and diet kind of regime.
And one of the challenges theydo every season is they put on
the midway through the seasonthe amount of weight that these
people have lost.
So let's say they've lost 20kilos over the season.
They will carry a backpackholding 20 kilos Sometimes it's
(10:56):
10, sometimes it might be 30kilos, so that's a really heavy
backpack.
And they make them trek up amountain.
So they're walking uphill and,as you know, walking uphill on
its own is hard.
But imagine carrying a sack ofrice on your back as you trek up
the hill.
So it's a grueling experienceand it's something I find
(11:16):
fascinating because it breaksthe participants down physically
to the point where, when theyrelease that pack, there's this
massive full body realization ofwhat they've achieved, because
they can in one moment noticewhat they've been able to let go
of.
So this happens in normal lifeas well.
(11:38):
We need to create this cleanslate.
We need to allow people thespace to realize the baggage
they've got on and to let it goso that they can move forward
with more energy and freedom andheadspace to come along on the
journey with you.
So that's the first leadershipskill that you didn't know you
needed to see and acknowledgereality.
About 20 years ago, I was in ahigh school band and I was the
(12:02):
section leader of the clarinetsand we were coming up to a big
performance.
So every year our schoolentered this competition and it
was this big thing that so manydifferent groups from all
throughout the school went up onbuses and we competed at this
competition and we'd won firstplace for about 10 years at this
(12:22):
point, and winning thatconsistently, when there was
amazing quality bands that wewere competing with, was
incredibly hard to do.
Back to back, and as we wereapproaching this competition,
one of the teachers spoke to meand said look, the teams, the
clarinets, are really notgetting this part of the piece
of music.
They were fumbling over it.
(12:44):
It wasn't sounding clear, itjust.
It really wasn't great, nomatter how hard we were
practicing and we were doing,you know, twice a week
rehearsals as a band.
We were doing at lunchtimes wewere doing sectionals, so people
were skipping their free timewith their friends to come and
practice and so morale was alittle bit low and I was tasked
(13:07):
as a leader to, you know, let'sup their performance.
So I had to think about what Icould do and when.
I felt really inspired.
And so in my family we oftenwatched the tennis and my mum's
a massive Wimbledon fan and Ialways remember this feeling
(13:27):
that I got as I watched theathletes walking through that
tunnel towards the court andit's like this buildup of
emotion as they walk out ontoWimbledon, which is the leading
competition for tennis, reallyone of the top places that they
can compete, and it was just anincredible feeling.
(13:49):
So the next day I spoke to thegroup and I used this analogy.
I basically said we are comingup to what is our version of
Wimbledon and we have anincredible honour of having won
this before and we have anincredible honour of an
opportunity to do our best andsee how we go in this up and
(14:11):
coming competition.
And part of that is reallynailing this one bit that we all
know we've been trying so hardbut not really getting, and
that's okay.
But the important thing is thatwe come together and we all do
our part, because, at the end ofthe day, when you play in a
group, an instrumental group.
You want it to sound almostlike one person is playing, so
it sounds really seamless.
And what happened after thiswas that one of the teachers had
(14:36):
heard the band come together inpractice and they said you know
what happened?
How did you do this?
Their energies lifted, I couldsee their commitments changed
and people were showing up whenthey weren't showing up, and so
others weren't noticing ourresults.
Have you ever wondered orexperienced when people get
stuck and maybe there's a changecoming or something they need
(14:57):
to do, and they're justresisting?
The problem is that we focus onthe reasons, sometimes, of what
the change is and why peopleneed to do what they do, and
that really only engages yourhead, and your head is only one
part of you as a human.
So what I found is and this isthe second skill here is that
(15:18):
storytelling is a criticalleadership skill that helps you
to engage people's head, heartand mind, their body, their
emotion, and really buy into achange.
Think of it of a movie or apiece of music that you've
listened to and how it makes youfeel.
(15:39):
Can you think of one?
I can think of the first time Irealized that music and movies
have this emotional effect on meas a human, which was when I
watched Saving Private Ryan andI was overcome with these tears
as the mother was told that herson wasn't coming home during a
war.
(16:00):
So music, movies and arts, theyhave this incredible ability to
move us, our emotions, let usfeel things that maybe we don't
always feel on a day-to-daybasis, or we shut down, or it
helps us relive emotions thatwe've experienced and help us to
connect meaning to that.
So, thinking of a movie or apiece of music, I'd love for you
(16:21):
to think.
You know, have you ever feltdisgust, or maybe joy or
desolation?
Has it made you laugh or cry?
Be joy or desolation?
Has it made you laugh or cryand that could be crying with
sadness or happiness or relief.
It's so, so powerful.
And what storytelling also doesis it cuts through our
conscious brain.
So the thing that is saying weshould do this, should do that
(16:44):
to what we know and feel deepdown.
So it cuts through some of themental barriers that we don't
even know often, that we have inplace, the way that we view the
world, the way we think thingsshould be, because we've been
taught they should be that way.
It cuts through that to what weare really truly feeling is
real for ourselves.
(17:05):
And the third reason whystorytelling is so powerful and
such a critical leadership skillis that it's memorable.
Like people will come up to meand say often I remember that
time when you drew the circle onthe ground in a workshop.
They were in and you weretalking about being in and out
of the circle.
So I won't give that story away, but they will come to me and
(17:27):
tell me and they will rememberthis Now, if I go and chat to
some random people, which I'vedone this before, I'll say hey,
you know, you attended sometraining this is not my training
, by the way, but someone else'straining on coaching.
Let's say Be like, what do youremember from that?
And people often go um, um,yeah, oh, I'm really not sure it
(17:48):
was a while ago now.
So storytelling is a criticalway to actually help people to
remember your message, whetherthat message is something you're
teaching or something that youneed them to understand, about a
change that you're implementingor just the reason for moving
the way an organization might bemoving.
Now, the third skill that youdidn't realize you needed as a
(18:12):
leader is facilitation.
So there's two kinds of leadersthat I've seen, and yes, I'm
going to generalize here, butI've basically often see leaders
fall into one of these twogroups.
So one is, when there's a teamchallenge or a goal that a group
is working towards, a teamchallenge or a goal that a group
(18:33):
is working towards, there's acertain group of leaders that
will shy away from doing anysort of group work themselves.
So they'll want to work on itone-on-one or do it through
written communication and alldifferent methods, but they will
shy away from being front andcenter and bringing a group
together to have a conversationabout it.
And then there's another groupof leaders that I see will jump
in and just do it.
They will get up, they'lldesign a group session or
(18:55):
they'll seek advice on how to dothat, and they will get up and
run it themselves rather thanbring someone in or rather than
avoid that conversation.
Now, there's obviously reasonswhy you might do either way or
might have a preference foreither way, but what I found is
that the leaders that lean intofacilitating with their group
and building that skill are onesthat have incredible impact.
(19:19):
And now what I found is thatthe skill is not necessarily
taught.
So when we teach leaders, we'reoften teaching them how to
present so one way to a grouprather than actually facilitate.
So facilitating being where youopen and hold a safe space for
discussion and ideas to beshared, where you actively use
activities to tap into people'sstrengths and their ideas and
(19:43):
let them flow freely and thenyou shape the conversation so
there's actually some tangibleoutcomes and actions that come
from that.
So it is a skill that you canlearn, which is fantastic.
And if you've ever felt thatthere are interpersonal issues
in your team like this kind ofhe said she said jealousy,
(20:06):
dynamic, maybe frustration atthe way some people are behaving
or their performance, or thatpeople in your team are just not
on the same page about what'sneeded or what's expected, or
there's people complaining toyou rather than taking action
themselves, all of these things,I found, benefit from group
development and facilitation,because it gets people to see
(20:30):
everything out in the open.
So instead of this, he said shesaid secondhand stories people
hear it from the other person'smouth, the impacts that it's
having on them and what thatperson wants to achieve, and
when everyone shares that in theteam, it starts to break down
those barriers and silos and isreally critical for behavior
change.
(20:50):
For you as a leader.
It also stops you being theumpire.
So if you manage imagine againat the tennis if you're the
umpire, you're kind of lookingleft, right, left, right.
It can make you really dizzywatching what one person does
and then how the other personresponds, and then that has a
retaliation or effect, andyou're just kind of watching
this tennis game unfold andneither of them are really
(21:13):
seeing what needs to be donebecause they haven't been able
to step back and have that viewthat you have from that umpire's
chair.
So instead of you being theumpire and saying, no, this is
the rule, this is what you needto change, you empower the group
to be accountable, so then theyare self-managing that behavior
, that challenge or that goaland that project, rather than
(21:35):
you having to map out everythingand share all the steps for
people.
And the third benefit of reallytapping into an ability to
facilitate is you help people togrow together, and it's key for
collaboration.
You help people to growtogether and it's key for
collaboration.
So I'd love for you to reflecton these three skills that you
(21:55):
didn't know you needed.
Do you already do them?
Maybe you already knew that youneeded them, I don't know.
Let me know If you don'talready do them, do you want to?
Because what I've noticed isfor the leaders that don't lean
into these three skills, it's alot harder for them to achieve
their goals, for them toovercome challenge.
The journey for them, I'venoticed, has always been a lot
(22:19):
harder.
So my invitation today is tolean into these three.
Where are you already doingthem?
Where could you do more of it?
Where is it getting you greatresults if you're already doing
them?
And I'm so confident that ifyou lean into these three skills
, that you will see impact,positive impact in yourself and
your team and what you're tryingto achieve.
(22:40):
So if you're curious on how youdevelop these skills so how do
you see and acknowledge reality,how do you actually storytell
for impact and how do youfacilitate groups where they
come together and really areempowered to collaborate Then
I'd love for you to connect withme.
You can shoot me an email, so,at Jolne J-O-L-E-N-E at
(23:03):
brillianceinspiredcomau.
So send me an email or connectwith me on LinkedIn and we can
book in a just a casual chat andwe can explore how we could
build that for you or your teamand as leaders, it's so easy to
get caught up in getting theresults because that's what
we're measured on right, but thetrue impact of leaders is
(23:27):
helping your people to feel seenand heard of.
Leaders is helping your peopleto feel seen and heard, to
connect and create meaningthrough story and feel safe and
equipped to collaborate.
Aristotle is known to have saidthe whole is greater than the
sum of its parts and ultimately,our role as leaders is to
create more value from groups ofpeople coming together than
(23:50):
what they can generate on theirown as individuals.
Thanks for joining me today.
I hope that's inspired you tolean into those three skills and
here's to you unleashing thepower of your team.
Welcome on into this episode three leadership
skills you didn't know youneeded.
I'd love to start by asking youwhat leadership skills do you
want to develop?
What are you working on rightnow?
This is a really commonquestion that comes up in
performance developmentdiscussions and also in things
(00:22):
like job interviews andrecruitment processes, and a lot
of what people answer, I'venoticed, is things like I want
to be a better coach, or I'dlike to get better at presenting
and public speaking.
I want to have more influenceand be better at negotiating.
I want to be more strategicwith my thinking and make better
decisions.
(00:43):
In my work as a coach over thepast decade, I've come across
hundreds of leaders and theirchallenges and their goals, and
one of the beauties of being acoach is that people really open
up and are really honest andraw about what it is they're
looking to achieve, but alsowhere is it that they're getting
stuck and why.
(01:03):
This is beautiful is.
It allows me, as someone wholoves observing human behavior,
it allows me to see patterns,and so what I've noticed over
the years is that there areleaders that they get all right
results right, they're learningand doing what they need to and
they're doing the job fine, butit's nothing spectacular and
(01:23):
that's okay.
If that's where you want to beand you've got other things in
your life that light you up,then that's great.
We do actually need leadersperforming at that level.
And then there's other leaders,ones that you know even if they
weren't paid, they would bedoing some kind of leadership
role because it just lights themup.
It's what they're here to do,and they're the kind of leader
(01:46):
that is able to engage people'shearts and their minds and bring
their teams together in a waythat unlocks their passion and
their skill and bring themtogether to focus on a common
goal.
So what I've just described issomething that's often referred
to as transformationalleadership that ability to
really harness that energy of agroup and direct it towards a
(02:10):
shared goal.
And so what I've noticed isthis pattern that there's
actually three skills thatleaders have in common in this
group and the group of theleaders that get the okay
results.
They generally don't have theseskills, and I wanted to bring
them to people's attentionbecause they're often they're
(02:30):
not spoken about.
They're not necessarily thingsthat are asked in recruitment
about when we're trying toassess whether someone would be
a good leader.
They're not talked about duringperformance discussions, about
how people are going, what'sworking and what's not, and what
do they want to work on andgrow in.
And also, I find theseparticular topics are not
(02:50):
necessarily covered in a lot ofleadership development programs.
And the thing is, these threeskills leadership skills that
you didn't know you neededthey're actually critical in an
environment where, more and more, we need to access the untapped
capacity of teams.
There's a lot of talk aboutpeople saying too busy, they're
at capacity, they need moreresources, but those people
(03:14):
saying that often have thisuntapped capacity and the reason
why they're feeling at capacityis for all different reasons
around the structure and theleadership and the environment
and the tools and the processes,and their own beliefs and
mindset as well.
So many different reasons.
But being able to tap into thisdiscretionary effort in a way
(03:34):
that each and every individualemployee wants to be here, wants
to make a difference and hasthe ability to adapt and flex at
speed without being slowed downby systems of control that
might be creating lag in thesystem, and have that ability
and permission to useinitiatives and their strengths
(03:55):
like that, that is the gold.
If you can uncover that, youcan uncover amazing productivity
and performance in your team.
Productivity and performance inyour team.
According to the HarvardBusiness Review, they estimated
that $60 billion is spent everyyear around the globe on
leadership development.
Yet I found some other researchfrom CEB, so the Corporate
(04:17):
Executives Board, that foundthat 50 to 70% of executives
fail within 18 months ofstarting in a new role, and
that's regardless of whetherthey were promoted internally
and had that corporate knowledgeand awareness of culture and
the way things worked, orwhether they came in externally
from another organization orindustry.
50 to 70%.
(04:38):
Now, if you think about thecost I don't have that figure
off the top of my head, but ifyou think about the cost of
recruiting someone at anexecutive level and if that has
such a high chance of failure,we need to be focusing on these
things.
So what these two statisticstell me is that there's room to
make the implementation of ourleadership development more
(05:02):
effective and there's room tobetter support our new leaders.
And, most importantly, the thingthat I want to focus on in
today's episode is that thereare underrated and critical
skills that aren't being talkedabout and they're missing from
leadership development programsand conversations.
So the good news is I'm here toshare them with you today.
(05:22):
So the three leadership skillsthat you didn't know you needed.
I love focusing on these withclients and groups because they
are impactful.
When I see people get this andthey run with it and they put it
into practice, things shift forthem, they transform, so their
results go.
Rather than this incrementalslow approach, it's like a.
(05:45):
Rather than this incrementalslow approach, it's like a step.
Rather than gradual.
I mean, it's like a steptransformation in their
performance and their impact,and that's why they're so
underrated.
So many years ago now, I wassitting in a auditorium about,
let's say, 400 people in theaudience of a medium-sized
(06:05):
organization, and a leader hadjust come in to basically
introduce themselves and givethe audience a bit of a pep talk
about you know, what they couldbring to this role and why
now's a great time to be makingsome changes and why they could
make a difference.
Now what I noticed was thatthis leader had absolutely no
(06:28):
awareness or ability to feelwhat was happening in the room.
So they delivered a beautifulspeech.
Everything they said was theright thing to say and they said
it in a really great way, butthere was a mismatch between how
that was being received.
So I could see hostility onpeople's faces, disbelief, upset
, and, despite the speech itselfbeing flawless, they didn't
(06:51):
earn the respect of thataudience that day Now.
Have you ever experienced a teamthat's stuck in the negative,
complaining about what's wrongwith the situation, what's
missing, what's not working?
Maybe they're feelingunder-resourced all the time,
but you can't do anything aboutit?
What about people that, nomatter how many times you've
explained what needs to get done, it's just not getting done?
(07:12):
See, the problem is we teachleaders to focus on what they
say, and people want to learnabout you.
Know how do I say this?
Well, what's the structure,what's the method, what's my
delivery method of saying this?
Well, structure, what's themethod, what's my delivery
method of saying this?
Well, so they focus on whatthey say rather than what they
see.
Now, a great and impactfulleader and the ones I've seen
(07:33):
have this incredible ability tosee and acknowledge reality.
So they see and acknowledge thereality that their employees
are facing in any given momentand, as a result, they're,
instead of people feeling zonedout like oh, I just don't even
want to listen to what thisperson is saying, they lean in
Instead of feeling unheard, likeyou just don't know what this
(07:57):
is like right now.
For me, they feel heard andinstead of feeling stuck like,
oh, I just, I don't know, thisis going to go anywhere, this
isn't going to make a change,this is not going to make a
difference, they buy in.
So the benefit of seeing andacknowledging the reality that
someone is facing is it showspeople that you get it, it gives
(08:19):
you that credibility and itbuilds rapport and it makes the
person feel seen and heard.
The second thing that it doesis it helps them feel okay to
not be okay.
So this is incredibly powerfulwhen there's a challenging
situation going on, so somethingthat people are not wanting,
maybe haven't been expecting,it's been a surprise.
(08:42):
It might be things like there'sa lot of downsizing going on at
the moment and that news canalways be often be very
difficult for people to accept.
So things like that, or maybe aproblem in the team with some
people that are causing troublethose kinds of situations or a
change being forced on someone,people can experience a lot of
(09:05):
negative feelings associated tothat and if you're told to just
move on, get on with it, let'sbe positive, how can we solve
this If we don't see andacknowledge the reality that
someone's actually struggling inthat moment.
They spend time and energygoing what's wrong with me, why
can't I move forward, or whyhaven't we done it this way?
(09:27):
I don't understand, or why isthis happening?
So they spend all this time andenergy and effort questioning
things and are actually unableto hear and see what's going on.
So that's why people can getreally stuck.
And it's not until you see andacknowledge reality that people
can process these emotions,start to process them, feel safe
(09:50):
to process them and feel likeit's okay and part of the
process, because it is in humanbehavior.
You need to go through theseemotions to get to the other
side of a change and see thatchange is possible and positive.
So we need to, as leaders, tocreate space for this, and part
of that is seeing andacknowledging reality.
And then the third reason thisis really powerful is it clears
(10:13):
the slate so people can moveforward.
I don't know if you've seen theshow.
It's a show that is on inAustralia and might be on in
different countries as well, butit's called the Biggest Loser
and it's about a group of peoplewho are significantly
overweight and they've tried allsorts of ways to get healthy
and lose the weight and theyhaven't been able to.
(10:34):
So they go on this bootcampprogram, which is they're away
from their loved ones andthey're in this intensive
exercise and diet kind of regime.
And one of the challenges theydo every season is they put on
the midway through the seasonthe amount of weight that these
people have lost.
So let's say they've lost 20kilos over the season.
They will carry a backpackholding 20 kilos Sometimes it's
(10:56):
10, sometimes it might be 30kilos, so that's a really heavy
backpack.
And they make them trek up amountain.
So they're walking uphill and,as you know, walking uphill on
its own is hard.
But imagine carrying a sack ofrice on your back as you trek up
the hill.
So it's a grueling experienceand it's something I find
(11:16):
fascinating because it breaksthe participants down physically
to the point where, when theyrelease that pack, there's this
massive full body realization ofwhat they've achieved, because
they can in one moment noticewhat they've been able to let go
of.
So this happens in normal lifeas well.
(11:38):
We need to create this cleanslate.
We need to allow people thespace to realize the baggage
they've got on and to let it goso that they can move forward
with more energy and freedom andheadspace to come along on the
journey with you.
So that's the first leadershipskill that you didn't know you
needed to see and acknowledgereality.
About 20 years ago, I was in ahigh school band and I was the
(12:02):
section leader of the clarinetsand we were coming up to a big
performance.
So every year our schoolentered this competition and it
was this big thing that so manydifferent groups from all
throughout the school went up onbuses and we competed at this
competition and we'd won firstplace for about 10 years at this
(12:22):
point, and winning thatconsistently, when there was
amazing quality bands that wewere competing with, was
incredibly hard to do.
Back to back, and as we wereapproaching this competition,
one of the teachers spoke to meand said look, the teams, the
clarinets, are really notgetting this part of the piece
of music.
They were fumbling over it.
(12:44):
It wasn't sounding clear, itjust.
It really wasn't great, nomatter how hard we were
practicing and we were doing,you know, twice a week
rehearsals as a band.
We were doing at lunchtimes wewere doing sectionals, so people
were skipping their free timewith their friends to come and
practice and so morale was alittle bit low and I was tasked
(13:07):
as a leader to, you know, let'sup their performance.
So I had to think about what Icould do and when.
I felt really inspired.
And so in my family we oftenwatched the tennis and my mum's
a massive Wimbledon fan and Ialways remember this feeling
(13:27):
that I got as I watched theathletes walking through that
tunnel towards the court andit's like this buildup of
emotion as they walk out ontoWimbledon, which is the leading
competition for tennis, reallyone of the top places that they
can compete, and it was just anincredible feeling.
(13:49):
So the next day I spoke to thegroup and I used this analogy.
I basically said we are comingup to what is our version of
Wimbledon and we have anincredible honour of having won
this before and we have anincredible honour of an
opportunity to do our best andsee how we go in this up and
(14:11):
coming competition.
And part of that is reallynailing this one bit that we all
know we've been trying so hardbut not really getting, and
that's okay.
But the important thing is thatwe come together and we all do
our part, because, at the end ofthe day, when you play in a
group, an instrumental group.
You want it to sound almostlike one person is playing, so
it sounds really seamless.
And what happened after thiswas that one of the teachers had
(14:36):
heard the band come together inpractice and they said you know
what happened?
How did you do this?
Their energies lifted, I couldsee their commitments changed
and people were showing up whenthey weren't showing up, and so
others weren't noticing ourresults.
Have you ever wondered orexperienced when people get
stuck and maybe there's a changecoming or something they need
(14:57):
to do, and they're justresisting?
The problem is that we focus onthe reasons, sometimes, of what
the change is and why peopleneed to do what they do, and
that really only engages yourhead, and your head is only one
part of you as a human.
So what I found is and this isthe second skill here is that
(15:18):
storytelling is a criticalleadership skill that helps you
to engage people's head, heartand mind, their body, their
emotion, and really buy into achange.
Think of it of a movie or apiece of music that you've
listened to and how it makes youfeel.
(15:39):
Can you think of one?
I can think of the first time Irealized that music and movies
have this emotional effect on meas a human, which was when I
watched Saving Private Ryan andI was overcome with these tears
as the mother was told that herson wasn't coming home during a
war.
(16:00):
So music, movies and arts, theyhave this incredible ability to
move us, our emotions, let usfeel things that maybe we don't
always feel on a day-to-daybasis, or we shut down, or it
helps us relive emotions thatwe've experienced and help us to
connect meaning to that.
So, thinking of a movie or apiece of music, I'd love for you
(16:21):
to think.
You know, have you ever feltdisgust, or maybe joy or
desolation?
Has it made you laugh or cry?
Be joy or desolation?
Has it made you laugh or cryand that could be crying with
sadness or happiness or relief.
It's so, so powerful.
And what storytelling also doesis it cuts through our
conscious brain.
So the thing that is saying weshould do this, should do that
(16:44):
to what we know and feel deepdown.
So it cuts through some of themental barriers that we don't
even know often, that we have inplace, the way that we view the
world, the way we think thingsshould be, because we've been
taught they should be that way.
It cuts through that to what weare really truly feeling is
real for ourselves.
(17:05):
And the third reason whystorytelling is so powerful and
such a critical leadership skillis that it's memorable.
Like people will come up to meand say often I remember that
time when you drew the circle onthe ground in a workshop.
They were in and you weretalking about being in and out
of the circle.
So I won't give that story away, but they will come to me and
(17:27):
tell me and they will rememberthis Now, if I go and chat to
some random people, which I'vedone this before, I'll say hey,
you know, you attended sometraining this is not my training
, by the way, but someone else'straining on coaching.
Let's say Be like, what do youremember from that?
And people often go um, um,yeah, oh, I'm really not sure it
(17:48):
was a while ago now.
So storytelling is a criticalway to actually help people to
remember your message, whetherthat message is something you're
teaching or something that youneed them to understand, about a
change that you're implementingor just the reason for moving
the way an organization might bemoving.
Now, the third skill that youdidn't realize you needed as a
(18:12):
leader is facilitation.
So there's two kinds of leadersthat I've seen, and yes, I'm
going to generalize here, butI've basically often see leaders
fall into one of these twogroups.
So one is, when there's a teamchallenge or a goal that a group
is working towards, a teamchallenge or a goal that a group
(18:33):
is working towards, there's acertain group of leaders that
will shy away from doing anysort of group work themselves.
So they'll want to work on itone-on-one or do it through
written communication and alldifferent methods, but they will
shy away from being front andcenter and bringing a group
together to have a conversationabout it.
And then there's another groupof leaders that I see will jump
in and just do it.
They will get up, they'lldesign a group session or
(18:55):
they'll seek advice on how to dothat, and they will get up and
run it themselves rather thanbring someone in or rather than
avoid that conversation.
Now, there's obviously reasonswhy you might do either way or
might have a preference foreither way, but what I found is
that the leaders that lean intofacilitating with their group
and building that skill are onesthat have incredible impact.
(19:19):
And now what I found is thatthe skill is not necessarily
taught.
So when we teach leaders, we'reoften teaching them how to
present so one way to a grouprather than actually facilitate.
So facilitating being where youopen and hold a safe space for
discussion and ideas to beshared, where you actively use
activities to tap into people'sstrengths and their ideas and
(19:43):
let them flow freely and thenyou shape the conversation so
there's actually some tangibleoutcomes and actions that come
from that.
So it is a skill that you canlearn, which is fantastic.
And if you've ever felt thatthere are interpersonal issues
in your team like this kind ofhe said she said jealousy,
(20:06):
dynamic, maybe frustration atthe way some people are behaving
or their performance, or thatpeople in your team are just not
on the same page about what'sneeded or what's expected, or
there's people complaining toyou rather than taking action
themselves, all of these things,I found, benefit from group
development and facilitation,because it gets people to see
(20:30):
everything out in the open.
So instead of this, he said shesaid secondhand stories people
hear it from the other person'smouth, the impacts that it's
having on them and what thatperson wants to achieve, and
when everyone shares that in theteam, it starts to break down
those barriers and silos and isreally critical for behavior
change.
(20:50):
For you as a leader.
It also stops you being theumpire.
So if you manage imagine againat the tennis if you're the
umpire, you're kind of lookingleft, right, left, right.
It can make you really dizzywatching what one person does
and then how the other personresponds, and then that has a
retaliation or effect, andyou're just kind of watching
this tennis game unfold andneither of them are really
(21:13):
seeing what needs to be donebecause they haven't been able
to step back and have that viewthat you have from that umpire's
chair.
So instead of you being theumpire and saying, no, this is
the rule, this is what you needto change, you empower the group
to be accountable, so then theyare self-managing that behavior
, that challenge or that goaland that project, rather than
(21:35):
you having to map out everythingand share all the steps for
people.
And the third benefit of reallytapping into an ability to
facilitate is you help people togrow together, and it's key for
collaboration.
You help people to growtogether and it's key for
collaboration.
So I'd love for you to reflecton these three skills that you
(21:55):
didn't know you needed.
Do you already do them?
Maybe you already knew that youneeded them, I don't know.
Let me know If you don'talready do them, do you want to?
Because what I've noticed isfor the leaders that don't lean
into these three skills, it's alot harder for them to achieve
their goals, for them toovercome challenge.
The journey for them, I'venoticed, has always been a lot
(22:19):
harder.
So my invitation today is tolean into these three.
Where are you already doingthem?
Where could you do more of it?
Where is it getting you greatresults if you're already doing
them?
And I'm so confident that ifyou lean into these three skills
, that you will see impact,positive impact in yourself and
your team and what you're tryingto achieve.
(22:40):
So if you're curious on how youdevelop these skills so how do
you see and acknowledge reality,how do you actually storytell
for impact and how do youfacilitate groups where they
come together and really areempowered to collaborate Then
I'd love for you to connect withme.
You can shoot me an email, so,at Jolne J-O-L-E-N-E at
(23:03):
brillianceinspiredcomau.
So send me an email or connectwith me on LinkedIn and we can
book in a just a casual chat andwe can explore how we could
build that for you or your teamand as leaders, it's so easy to
get caught up in getting theresults because that's what
we're measured on right, but thetrue impact of leaders is
(23:27):
helping your people to feel seenand heard of.
Leaders is helping your peopleto feel seen and heard, to
connect and create meaningthrough story and feel safe and
equipped to collaborate.
Aristotle is known to have saidthe whole is greater than the
sum of its parts and ultimately,our role as leaders is to
create more value from groups ofpeople coming together than
(23:50):
what they can generate on theirown as individuals.
Thanks for joining me today.
I hope that's inspired you tolean into those three skills and
here's to you unleashing thepower of your team.
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