I had this image in my head — a warm hug, maybe a shy smile, some kind of spark that told me, “This is your son.”
What actually happened was silence. A lot of silence.
And eyes that wouldn’t meet mine.
He was scared. Rightfully so.
And I realized pretty quickly — this wasn’t about my expectations. This was about his story, his wounds, and his pace.
I thought love would come naturally, but it didn’t.
Not right away.
I had to choose it.
Every awkward dinner, every quiet car ride, every “I don’t care” response.
God reminded me that love isn’t always a feeling.
Sometimes it’s a posture. A decision.
And often, it grows in the space where you lay down what you thought it would be — and embrace what it actually is.
Looking back, I’m so thankful for that slow start.
Because it taught me how to see — really see — a child through the lens of patience and grace.
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